1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:04,046
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:08,217
Sounds great, Kelly.
I'll see you Saturday. Okay.
3
00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:09,593
Guess what, guys?
4
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,430
- I'm going to my first country club dance.
- Woohoo, all right.
5
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,724
Yeah, I got to check the bus schedule.
6
00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:18,810
You're going out with the boss's daughter
and you're riding on the bus?
7
00:00:18,977 --> 00:00:23,148
Yeah, it's getting to be a real drag too,
especially when we can't sit together.
8
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,194
Maybe I can borrow Sam's car.
9
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,279
Hey, hold up there Woodster.
10
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:32,157
Lest you forget the ten commandments
of Sam Malone.
11
00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:33,659
There is commandment number three,
12
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:35,369
"Thou shalt not loan thy car."
13
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,287
I thought that was commandment
number four?
14
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,580
That's "honor thy hair."
15
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,168
I think Sam might make
an exception in my case.
16
00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:44,211
Hey, Sam?
17
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,923
Sam, can I borrow your car?
18
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,550
My car?
19
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,593
I'll be real careful with it.
20
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,098
I'll bring it home early
and I'll wash it the next day.
21
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,809
Well, food for thought.
22
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,897
So, Wood, is he going to
loan you the car?
23
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,441
He didn't come right out and say it,
but I like my chances.
24
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:08,610
He's in a great mood today.
25
00:02:21,058 --> 00:02:23,560
I wish you luck Woody,
because if Sam does lend you that car,
26
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:26,855
you are home free. That thing is
a rolling aphrodisiac.
27
00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,690
Absolutely, you know,
any female that rides
28
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,902
around with Sam in that car
ends up going straight to bed with him.
29
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:33,945
I've ridden in that car.
30
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:35,614
Right.
31
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,785
Well, I didn't go to bed with him.
32
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:42,621
Right and they always
deny it afterwards.
33
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,290
I hate you guys.
34
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,875
And they always cop that
anti-male attitude.
35
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:48,335
Yeah.
36
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,713
Oh Sammy, mind if I cut
out for an hour,
37
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,632
I want to catch the
last couple innings
38
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:55,842
of my kid Ludlow's T-ball game.
39
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,928
Hey, I thought he was the
intellectual of the family.
40
00:02:58,095 --> 00:02:59,137
He's into baseball, huh?
41
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,889
Well, he didn't go willingly.
42
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,265
I had to trick him.
43
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,685
I used the old "going to the library
44
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:07,062
but running out of gas in front
of the ball park" routine.
45
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:09,773
Seems kind of drastic,
doesn't it?
46
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:14,403
Come on, Sam, please I don't want the kid
growing up to be a soft, doughy wimp
47
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:17,364
wearing an argyle sweater
and smoking a pipe.
48
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:25,497
Go ahead, take off. Don't worry about Lud.
He'll be fine.
49
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,543
Lud. That's Carla's son
by Bennett Ludlow.
50
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,586
He's a cute little tyke.
51
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,505
Carla bore a son to Bennett Ludlow,
52
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,757
the eminent psychiatrist,
your mentor?
53
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,092
Oh, this is prime dish.
54
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,970
I can't wait to tell the girls
in the sleep disorder lab.
55
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,223
So, Carla, tell, tell.
56
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,891
Have you bedded
any other Rhodes scholars?
57
00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:48,979
No.
58
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:53,108
But one egghead, long-distance,
phone-in father is enough
59
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:54,526
for this baby factory.
60
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:57,946
In spite of the fact that Dr. Ludlow's work
takes him out of the country,
61
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,449
I'm sure he's a marvelous parent.
62
00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,408
No.
63
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,578
A good parent
is someone who's there.
64
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,705
There to help them out
with their homework,
65
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:08,331
there when they wake up in the
middle of the night,
66
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,041
crying their eyes out.
67
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:14,379
He's there with a bottle of Bactine
when they give themselves a bad tattoo.
68
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,424
Well, I've been there.
69
00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,885
I raised eight kids
on a waitress' salary,
70
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,220
and I want you to know
they're all good kids
71
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:25,474
and not one of them has had a conviction
that stood up on appeal.
72
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:29,936
I stand corrected, Carla.
73
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,232
Mom, how could you
do that to me?
74
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,942
Luddy. How did you get here?
75
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,444
Did coach drop you off?
76
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,445
Yes.
77
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,323
Oh, then the game ended early?
so how'd you do?
78
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:44,618
Coach had me on the bench
all afternoon.
79
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,245
What, you mean you didn't
play at all?
80
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,705
Well, they finally put me in
81
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:51,124
after the kid with
the cast on his leg
82
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,293
and the two fat girls left.
83
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,254
So, what did you do?
84
00:04:56,421 --> 00:05:00,091
I hit the ball,
but they still made fun of me.
85
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:04,095
Like everybody's just supposed
to know which way to run?
86
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,724
I'm gonna go and
clean up your specs.
87
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,894
Carla's got herself a real
Poindexter there, huh?
88
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:12,479
Hey, it's sad to say
89
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:15,273
that kids who aren't accepted by
their peers really never learn
90
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,776
how to get along with people
in the big grown up world.
91
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:19,069
And why is that Cliff?
92
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,322
'Cause they keep boring everyone and
driving them crazy with long speeches
93
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,866
filled with meaningless statistics?
94
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,868
Yup. Yeah.
95
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,496
63% of them live lives
of quiet desperation.
96
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:33,250
And how about those
who sit next to them?
97
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,838
I'm Dr. Frasier Crane,
a friend of your father's.
98
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,340
I understand you've had
a rough afternoon.
99
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:44,094
You must never let the bullies
of this world diminish your inner spirit.
100
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,638
Nor put out the fire of your
competitive nature.
101
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,139
- Sir.
- Yes, son.
102
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,308
You're kneeling on some gum.
103
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,228
Heavens, my new gabardines.
104
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,646
You and gum.
105
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:57,148
He attracts it like a magnet.
106
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,528
We'll swing by our place and pick up
another pair on our way to the opera.
107
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,780
Which opera are you going to?
108
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:05,949
Die Meister singer.
109
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,742
Oh, I know that one.
110
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:11,121
That's where all the master singers
get together in Nuremburg
111
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:14,291
and have a big contest
to find out who's best.
112
00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,918
Oh, yeah. Kind of like Star Search.
113
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,046
Basically.
114
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,757
Frasier.
115
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,720
Frasier, I just had
a delicious idea.
116
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:30,348
Why don't we buy an extra ticket
and take young Lud to the opera with us?
117
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:34,394
Oh, wow, great! But I have
to ask my mom.
118
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:39,274
Mommy, Dr. Crane and his wife
invited me to go to the opera with them.
119
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:40,400
You don't have to be polite.
120
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,277
Just tell them to bug off.
121
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,241
But, Mom,
I want to go, please.
122
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,784
Carla, may I have
a word with you?
123
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:52,120
Yeah. Sammy, entertain the kid.
124
00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:57,042
Carla, you'd be doing us all a favor.
125
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,502
Allowing Frasier and me to spend
some time with your son
126
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,463
might help us to formulate a decision
127
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,591
that's been under much
discussion as of late.
128
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:08,887
You see the two of us are considering
whether or not we wish to reproduce.
129
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:14,601
You're thinking of having a baby, huh?
130
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:19,105
So tell me, how long does it take
one of your pods to hatch anyways?
131
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:24,027
Listen, you want to babysit Lud,
be my guest.
132
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,363
- What's that on your shirt?
- Huh?
133
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:27,489
Oh!
134
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,450
You're good.
135
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:33,787
Okay, Luddy, you're going to the opera.
136
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,372
Yay!
137
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,790
Yeah, you're going to love it, kid.
138
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,792
So, you know that Wagner,
he wrote all those pieces
139
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,085
when he was still deaf.
140
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,503
No, that was Beethoven.
141
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:42,420
I meant blind.
142
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,713
That was Milton.
143
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:44,756
Well he had warts.
144
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:45,924
That was you.
145
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,219
Told you not to tell anybody.
146
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:58,478
Shouldn't they be back by now?
How long can an opera last?
147
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,606
The last one I remember
lasted about eight months.
148
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,444
Yeah, I just hope
everything's all right.
149
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:07,988
Carla.
150
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,699
Look, I know you love your kids
and everything.
151
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,159
I mean, like your kids.
152
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,870
I mean... I know you have kids,
153
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,499
but I've never seen you
this concerned before.
154
00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:20,542
Well, Lud's special.
155
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,043
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
156
00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:24,004
I mean, whenever I come
home at night,
157
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,465
he always brings me a pan
of hot water for my feet.
158
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,010
He actually asks me
how my day went.
159
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,429
I don't know if I ever
told anybody this before.
160
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,265
I love him.
161
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,601
Carla, you don't have to be shy about
saying that you love your kids.
162
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,187
Why didn't you just take out an ad
in the Yellow Pages?
163
00:08:45,316 --> 00:08:49,320
Normy, I almost forgot how much
Sam's Corvette girls love to whistle.
164
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,576
I wish I had a nickel for
every time I heard that sound.
165
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,078
The classic slamming of the door.
166
00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:06,546
So, Sam still won't loan
you his car, huh?
167
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:09,299
No, but I'm starting
to love that man's laugh.
168
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,719
Sammy, come on,
give the kid a break, will you?
169
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,512
Just let him borrow your car.
170
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,015
Please Sam, Kelly is the best
girl I've ever dated,
171
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,725
and she loves Corvettes.
172
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:19,976
Well, I'll tell you what, Woody.
173
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,936
I'll give her a lift in my car.
174
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,522
No way, Sam. Every girl who goes
for a ride in your Corvette
175
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,357
winds up going to bed with you.
Right, Miss Howe?
176
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,238
Well, now she's just being redundant.
177
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,201
It's okay, Sam. I understand
about the car thing.
178
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:39,162
I didn't mean to
put you on the spot.
179
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,083
And I want you to know that even
though you won't let me borrow your car,
180
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,292
there's no hard feelings.
181
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:48,129
And if I ever have a car of my own,
and you want to borrow it, it's yours.
182
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,714
Ah, I know what you're trying to do.
183
00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,133
You're trying to guilt me
into giving you my car.
184
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,094
No, I'm not. I wouldn't do that.
185
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,261
You're my best friend.
186
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,931
Oh, man, you're scum.
187
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:01,059
I mean it, Sam. I love you.
188
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:04,020
Hey. Fine, here. Take the damn car.
189
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,272
What just happened?
190
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,857
You outsmarted him.
191
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,443
So that's what it feels like.
192
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,865
Mom! Mom! The opera was so great.
193
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:18,618
All the singing and costumes.
194
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,454
This was the best day of my life.
195
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,206
That's terrific, Lud.
196
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:25,917
I've never seen him so excited.
Thanks, guys.
197
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:29,087
Oh, Carla, it was our pleasure.
He's an extraordinary child.
198
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:32,257
Yes, we had an extensive discussion
on the way back.
199
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:35,260
About opera, the arts, film.
200
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:38,763
Oh, Carla, may we take Lud to
the movies tonight?
201
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,808
There's a revival of
Koyaanisqatsi we'd love him to see.
202
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,434
And then we were thinking he
could sleep over.
203
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:45,645
We could have brunch and
a matinee of Peter and the Wolf.
204
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:49,858
Gee, I don't know. He's never
stayed away from home before.
205
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:50,900
He's only six.
206
00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,862
Please, Mommy, please.
207
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,240
Oh, heck.
208
00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,993
You really want to go that bad,
go, go head.
209
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,202
Have a good time.
210
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,872
Stay as long as you want.
See you when you get back.
211
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:06,624
Thank you, Carla.
We'll take good care of him, don't worry.
212
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:11,713
Well, that's that.
213
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,799
I've lost my baby.
214
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,641
Listen Sam, I hope it's okay that
I keep asking you this
215
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,101
but I just want to
make sure one last time
216
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:27,437
that you haven't changed your
mind about me using your car.
217
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:28,563
No, Woody.
218
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,190
No, you haven't
changed your mind,
219
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,817
or no, I can't use your car, or
no, it's not okay to ask.
220
00:11:32,984 --> 00:11:35,486
No, get out of my face
before I hurt you.
221
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:38,198
He's special.
222
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,580
Hey, Carla, still listening to
that opera stuff?
223
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,918
She can't hear you Cliff.
She's got the music blasting in her ear.
224
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,921
You mean she can't hear me if I say
225
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,798
she reminds me
of a those little plastic troll dolls?
226
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,471
Hey, what's the big idea?
I thought you couldn't hear me.
227
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,556
No, but I can see, and you're ugly.
228
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,480
So, you're still cramming all
that High-Q stuff in your head?
229
00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:13,233
Yeah, Sammy, I don't have any choice.
230
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,236
I mean ever since
Dr. Cyclops and Morticia...
231
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,114
...started introducing Lud to
all this culture crap,
232
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,283
it's like I don't have anything
to talk to him about.
233
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:23,785
So I'm listening to all this music
234
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,246
and I am plowing through
all these books.
235
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,164
Look at this.
236
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,582
Good heavens, man.
237
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,793
History of Modern Art.
238
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,257
Comprehensive Guide
to the World of Opera.
239
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,716
Hollywood Wives.
240
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,511
Yeah. I'm getting into literature too.
241
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,931
I've read this.
242
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:50,979
Oh, who am I trying to kid?
243
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,855
- I'm just stupid.
- Hey!
244
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:53,898
You are not stupid.
245
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:55,900
Oh, how would you know? You're stupid.
246
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,988
If you were really stupid,
you wouldn't know that about me.
247
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:02,323
Good point.
248
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,994
Greetings, Carla, we just
dropped your son off at home
249
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,372
after a lovely sojourn at
the Museum of Fine Art.
250
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,332
You know that child
is such a love.
251
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:14,168
He's so bright, inquisitive, creative.
252
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,212
He reminds me of myself
as a child.
253
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,298
Of course, he has more hair.
254
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,176
We were wondering if
we could treat Lud
255
00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,886
to dinner this evening.
256
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,640
Come on, guys. You've had him
out every night this week.
257
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,727
Besides, I had a special
family evening planned.
258
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,146
I was going to
cook a big bowl of pasta.
259
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,357
And we were all going to sit around
and watch America's Most Wanted
260
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,067
and see if we could
rat on our neighbors.
261
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:43,823
Yes, but, you see, Carla,
this is special too.
262
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,784
I just managed to finagle
reservations for Magritte's.
263
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,620
It's the most exclusive
restaurant in all of Boston.
264
00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:50,788
I never heard of it.
265
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,248
Precisely.
266
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,794
Carla, please,
it would mean a lot to the child,
267
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,130
and I think Lud
would enjoy it also.
268
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:04,344
Oh, all right. Who cares?
More spaghetti for the rest of us.
269
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,139
Hey, Fras?
270
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:12,310
Why don't you invite Carla
to dinner with you?
271
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:14,020
Well, now, Sam, uh...
272
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,356
Carla is a fine woman
273
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,607
and a good friend.
274
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,069
Actually, she's neither,
and why would I want to eat with her?
275
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:27,241
Frasier, dear, I think
we should invite Carla.
276
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,452
I think it would be very, very nice.
277
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:34,248
Do you know what would be
very, very nice, Lilith?
278
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,667
If you would stop
digging your nails into my palm.
279
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:39,837
I'm sure I'll choose
to see your point
280
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,714
before you draw blood.
281
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,304
Carla.
282
00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:50,556
Carla, let's say we make it
283
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,266
four at Magritte's tonight, huh?
284
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:53,768
You buying?
285
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:54,644
I'm going.
286
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,020
Well, good. We're on then.
287
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,189
We'll call for you at 8:00.
288
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,899
And by the way Carla,
289
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,694
please bear in mind that this is a very...
290
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,406
...posh establishment, hmm?
291
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,573
Need I say more?
292
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,076
Oh, no. I get the picture
loud and clear.
293
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,744
I'll shave my legs.
294
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,626
I hope this table is satisfactory.
295
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,086
Oh, this is wonderful.
296
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,463
You know, the place is just
as I'd heard it was.
297
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:24,715
It's delightful.
298
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,180
Everything looks absolutely exquisite.
299
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,600
The menu is a delightful
combination of...
300
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,772
...nouvelle and provincial with a nod
toward domestic ingredients.
301
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,317
And get a load of
all this ambiance.
302
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:46,112
The artwork is stunning.
303
00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:50,199
Yes, well, there's a delightful
example of modern art.
304
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,119
If I might venture a guess,
305
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,370
I would say...
306
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,663
...it's a Schnabel.
307
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:59,250
It isn't, but, even if it was,
308
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,543
it would be pronounced, "Shnahbel."
309
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,922
Excuse me. It's a little hard to tell
this far from our "tahble."
310
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,593
That's funny, Mom.
311
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,263
Ludlow, please remember,
we're not here to have fun,
312
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,639
we're here to enjoy ourselves.
313
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,227
Now, would it please everyone
if I ordered for the whole table?
314
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,354
It would be delightful.
315
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,399
Thank you. Now, I know that Lilith's
delicate constitution
316
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:25,109
is not amenable to shallots.
317
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:26,569
Is there anything else
I should be mindful of?
318
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:29,405
How considerate
of you to ask Frasier.
319
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,366
Actually, I have a delicate
constitution as well.
320
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,452
No extra-heavy
barbecue sauce.
321
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,370
I'll be repeating
like a howitzer.
322
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,961
Delightful.
323
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,176
This sure beats taking
the bus, doesn't it.
324
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,763
Just you and me
and the open road.
325
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,061
I'm getting kind of tired of driving.
326
00:17:01,395 --> 00:17:04,732
What do you say we park somewhere
and look at the stars for a while?
327
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,318
Oh, that sounds nice, Woody.
328
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,405
Hey, Sam, where's a good place to go neck?
329
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:15,117
Make a right at the light
and not so fast this time!
330
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:25,503
Thank you.
331
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:26,921
Oh, and please tell Paul
332
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,549
that the salad course
was an absolute treasure.
333
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:34,011
His subtle, yet assertive dressing
was the perfect balance for the arugula.
334
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,597
I concur in spades.
335
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,893
He'll be pleased to hear it.
336
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,398
Well... shall we bouillabaisse?
337
00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:49,527
Now, smell the piquant bouquet.
338
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,281
Taste it on every
part of your tongue
339
00:17:53,447 --> 00:17:55,533
and then let it just dance
down your throat.
340
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:59,704
Frasier, as usual, your anticipation
is interfering with my enjoyment.
341
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,044
Yeah. Eddie has that problem, too.
342
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:14,176
Ludlow, you're not eating.
343
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,971
None for me, thanks, Dr. Crane.
344
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,099
He doesn't like fish.
345
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,935
Look, Carla, this is not something
346
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,147
that comes out of your cupboard
in a tin can with a mermaid on it.
347
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,026
This is fruits de mer.
348
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,779
$32 a pop, I think the lad
should give it a try.
349
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,491
Now, Ludlow,
350
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:40,453
you've been very open-minded
about everything else.
351
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:43,414
Make him happy. Take a bite.
If you don't like it,
352
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:46,167
you can spit it out
in your napkin. See?
353
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,630
Carla, we're not here
to make me happy.
354
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,257
We are here to enrich
the lad's experience
355
00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:56,594
Which, if I must say so,
I do believe is my province.
356
00:18:56,761 --> 00:19:01,974
Now Lud, you know we all
have certain things we don't like.
357
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,187
I detested fish when I was a child.
358
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:09,857
But I kept eating it and finally,
I overcame my aversion.
359
00:19:10,024 --> 00:19:11,025
Likewise.
360
00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:14,111
When I first met Frasier,
I detested him.
361
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,909
Yes, but the point is
you love me now.
362
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,370
And Lud will love bouillabaisse.
363
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:24,789
Try it.
364
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,458
Okay.
365
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,172
Ew! Fish.
366
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,884
You barely tasted the broth.
Give it a better chance than that.
367
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,303
No. I want a hamburger.
368
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:43,182
This restaurant does not serve
hamburgers.
369
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,185
Now eat your bouillabaisse.
370
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:50,106
No! This fishy soup stinks,
and I hate it.
371
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,403
What an imp?
372
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:59,198
- Luddy?
- What are you doing?
373
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:01,325
I'm gonna try to get him out
from under there.
374
00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,369
No, Carla, that's exactly
what he wants you to do.
375
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,539
One must not play
the game by his rules.
376
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,750
Now, I've taught a seminar or two
on developmental behavior.
377
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,211
And the first rule in these
acting-out situations
378
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,547
is to simply ignore
the offending child.
379
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,674
Just pretend that he doesn't exist.
380
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,926
Eventually he'll get
bored and come out.
381
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,594
So...
382
00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:22,972
What a lovely meal.
383
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:30,146
Do you know, I heard that the
chef here was a protégé of...
384
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,814
Do you smell something burning?
385
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,108
Yes. that's my shoe.
386
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:37,903
I heard that
he was a protégé of--
387
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,030
- Your shoe is on fire?
- Yes.
388
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:41,949
Isn't that painful?
389
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:43,492
Excruciating.
390
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:50,124
But I'm not going to give the child
the pleasure of hearing me cry out.
391
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,170
So...
392
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:57,548
You see, it seems he was educated
in a small village on the Rhine.
393
00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:58,632
He...
394
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:00,843
Oh Lud.
395
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,263
One hot foot
396
00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,641
might be considered a puckish prank,
397
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,394
but if you light that other match,
398
00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:12,897
it is the end of our tutelage.
399
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:14,732
Is that perfectly clear?
400
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:17,735
That's it!
401
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,528
That's it! I've had it!
402
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,363
That seventh of an inch of--
403
00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:24,575
Frasier, everyone thinks
you're arguing with your clams.
404
00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:37,797
Is there a problem here?
405
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,298
No, no, course not.
406
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:42,885
The boy just slipped under the table.
And his mother was about to get him out.
407
00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,095
His mother.
408
00:21:45,846 --> 00:21:48,599
Uh, yes. Carla,
could you take care of this?
409
00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:51,769
Gee, I don't know if I could.
410
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:54,480
I've never taken
a psychology seminar.
411
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,650
Sir, we have a very nice
table in the kitchen.
412
00:22:00,903 --> 00:22:03,030
Please, Carla. Please, please.
413
00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,617
Hey, Lud, burger time.
414
00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:08,744
Yay!
415
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:13,707
Hot foot, huh?
My genes must be in there somewhere.
416
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:17,837
Let's go, Mommy.
417
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,964
First, apologize to Dr. Crane.
418
00:22:21,257 --> 00:22:22,424
I'm sorry, Dr. Crane.
419
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:25,010
I guess I shouldn't
have acted this way.
420
00:22:25,386 --> 00:22:26,637
Well, no hard feelings, son.
421
00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,598
Let's have dinner again sometime
when you're about...
422
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:30,850
...in your late 30s.
423
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,143
Goodbye.
424
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:34,436
Bye.
425
00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:39,608
I was wondering,
do you have frog legs?
426
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:40,776
Why, yes.
427
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:42,736
Wear nice pants.
No one will ever notice.
428
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,531
I always wanted to do that.
429
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,908
You're the best mommy
in the world.
430
00:22:48,075 --> 00:22:49,910
Yeah, tell me something I don't know.
431
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:56,208
You know Lilith, I think we've all
learned something here tonight.
432
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,793
I'm going to try to tell you what it is
433
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,129
before you coat
my blistering feet with butter
434
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:02,339
and drop me off at
the emergency room.
435
00:23:11,265 --> 00:23:12,266
You see...
436
00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:15,269
This incident has made something
very clear to me.
437
00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:18,647
I believe my initial
instincts were correct.
438
00:23:19,565 --> 00:23:20,774
We shouldn't have children.
439
00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:24,862
I don't think I'd make a good father.
I don't want to be a father.
440
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:28,574
I'll never be a father.
End of discussion.
441
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:30,993
Frasier, I'm pregnant.
442
00:23:32,369 --> 00:23:33,495
I'm going to be a daddy?
443
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,040
I'm going to be a daddy!
444
00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,167
Oh, Lilith, we must come here more often.