Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience.
Gents, mind my Corona with lime, will you?
I've got to see a man about an equine.
There goes one elegant guy.
Yeah. Nothing says class like a chunk of fruit floating in your beer.
Oh, come on, Norm. It's yuppie nouveau to have a little fruit floating in your beer.
Call me old fashioned, Cliff, but the only thing I like floating in beer is my liver.
You know, it's quite remarkable.
To float something as heavy as a wedge of lime,
beer must have quite a high buoyancy factor.
So do your loafers.
Do you think an olive could float in beer?
Yeah. Only one way to find out, my friend.
Well, I guess it doesn't.
But, you know, I think maybe an orange rind, being of the citrus family
and a close cousin of the lime, just might float.
Ah! Your hypothesis has been proven correct, Dr. Peterson.
Thank you very much, nurse Clavin.
I always wondered if a lit match would float in beer.
You always wondered that, huh, Wood?
All right, Woodrow.
Ooh.
Not only does it float, it smells like heaven.
I got one. How about his car keys?
Oh, good.
Here he comes.
Ahh, now I've room enough for you, my friend.
Boy, that lime really adds something.
So, this is your apartment, huh?
Yes, Sam, you've been here before.
Yeah, but never after our first date. Going to invite me in?
I don't know, should I?
- I don't know, should you? - You're asking the wrong person.
I haven't had a date here since 1986.
And I definitely think you should invite me in.
All right, come in, but it's just for a cup of coffee.
Okay.
You know, I'm still amazed that you agreed to go out with me.
What was it that broke you down,
my charm, my hot looks,
pity?
That last thing.
My coffee maker's on the blink.
- Is, uh, instant okay? - Sure, sure.
- Okay if I turn on the radio? - Sure.
Are your lips cracked, dry, and bleeding?
Do you have scaly red patches in your facial--
You know, I was--
I'm all out of instant. I don't suppose you'd be in the mood
for a little hot tang?
Why don't we, uh--
Why don't we just skip the beverage part
and maybe dance?
Sam.
Oh, come on, dancing's permitted on the first date.
All right, but just dancing.
Okay.
Ow.
Are we still just dancing?
Yes, ma'am.
Magic song.
Mm-hmm.
I'm glad it's not The Righteous Brothers.
I never did stand a chance against them.
Did you plan that?
Right, right. I made a lot of tips this week
and went out and bought a radio station--
WSAM.
Uh...
Are we still just dancing?
In most countries, yes.
Why is your neck so hot?
Because somebody's breathing on it.
You know, it's been so long, I thought I'd forgotten.
I guess it's kind of like riding a bicycle.
You think it's like riding a bicycle, it has been a long time.
Oh, Sam...
Don't...
Stop.
Okay.
I said don't stop.
Look at you.
Oh, Sam, yes, yes.
Yes!
No!
Oh, oh, God.
It was just a dream.
It's just a dream, Beck-Beck.
It's just a dream.
Morning, boss.
You shut your fat face right now!
I was just going to tell you
If you want me, I'm out fixing the window.
I don't want you. I don't want you at all.
Aw, somebody got up on the wrong side of bed.
Don't you use the word "bed" with me.
I forbid you to use the word "bed."
Sorry.
You make me sick.
Last time I buy after shave at a gas station.
Carla, come here.
Does this make you sick?
Yeah.
But only because you waited till after I was married to do it.
Does my after shave make you sick?
Oh. yeah.
Well, somebody should have said something.
Frasier, don't use your gold card.
I exceeded the limit this morning
buying biodegradable diapers.
They're not cheap, they're not pretty, but they'll disintegrate within 50 years.
She loves her Earth.
And look at these marvelous toys I bought today.
Oh, our child will love these. I'm sure he can't wait to be born.
Monochromatic, high contrast--
Did they run out of colors?
Oh, no, Woody. You see, tests have proven
that simple black and white geometric designs
stimulate the young infant's mind to a remarkable degree.
I don't know. I was raised on pink and blue, and look how I turned out.
In your face, doc.
The evidence at hand notwithstanding,
current child development experts agree
that infants respond with great excitement to toys like these.
Whoo, yeah, they say "this stuff cost a fortune.
My parents must be rich."
Well, come, Lilith. We're off to lunch.
Besides, the boys here have to get back
to that mind-expanding and all-important
tastes great/less filling debate.
Yeah, so where did we end up?
I think it was tastes great.
No, it was less filling.
No, it tastes great.
- Less filling. - Tastes great.
Oh, Frasier, Lilith, excuse me.
I know you're probably on your way somewhere--
Yes, we are.
But when aren't we?
It's just that I have this really bad problem.
It's getting so bad that I can't even sleep at night.
I'm sorry, Rebecca. We do have this important lunch.
You see, I've been having these erotic dreams.
Well, lunch be damned. our friend is in need.
What about Russell and Pam?
Oh, hang Russell and Pam.
They just want to weasel some free psychological advice out of us anyway.
So, Rebecca, go on about your dreams.
I guess you could say
the main problem is that this guy who's--
I don't know, I guess you could say he's starring in these dreams--
Is somebody I definitely should not be dreaming about.
Ah...
Because even though he's a sexy and successful doctor,
he's also happily married and about to be a father.
Yes.
There is no fruit so sweet as that which is forbidden.
Frasier, stop before you embarrass yourself further.
- What? - Darling, you're the love of my life,
but even I don't have erotic dreams about you.
So who is it-- Mel Gibson? Harrison Ford?
That young man with the wavy brown hair and the leg muscles
who comes in here all sweated up after bowling and has nodded hello to me twice?
It's Sam.
Sam Malone?
Can you believe it?
He's the last person
I would want to see in my dreams.
I mean, I played Donald Trump's board game,
I watch Ted Turner's network,
I just finished Robin Colcord's new book,
and somehow in my dreams,
I end up dancing on my back with Sam Malone.
Perhaps Sam represents someone else,
someone you fear craving even more.
Frasier, it's not you. Get over it.
Take a joke.
Just please tell me that it's not Sam Malone in my dreams,
so I don't have to take a bath with my electric toaster.
Well, Rebecca, there are those who believe
that dream imagery is basically symbolic,
if you subscribe to that theory,
Sam could signify any number of things--
It could be a need for you to get back in touch with your inner self.
It could be spiritual awakening.
It could be you and your God.
- It's Sam. - It's Sam.
It's Sam.
Oh, God, some evil, disgusting,
perverted little part of me is attracted to Sam.
- I'm going to kill him. - Now, Rebecca, it's not his fault.
Sam doesn't know what your dreams are.
You're right. and he can never know.
Because if it ever, ever got out
that I've been having sex dreams all week about Sam,
I could never ever show my face in this bar again.
Well, fear not.
You have confided in professionals.
Your trust is sacred.
Thank you.
Ho! hands up in the air. You okay?
What's so funny?
I'm sorry. Uh...
I can't tell you. It's--it's--it's--
It's not something that a man can tell a woman.
This is something that a man can only tell a whole crowd of people.
Get the guys! Hey, you nimrods, trash flash!
Step into Mr. Malone's office,
and assume the trash position.
- What's up? - Heh heh heh!
Well, it appears that our lovely Miss Rebecca
has been having X-rated dreams
about a certain young man that we all know and admire.
That guy with the wavy brown hair
who comes in here all sweaty after bowling?
No, Woody, me.
I thought you said he has young.
Hey, how did you find out, Sammy?
Well, I accidentally overheard Rebecca
telling Frasier and Lilith.
Shrinks get all the great scam, huh?
You ought to get an earful of a mailman's day, pal.
Yeah, I do, Cliff.
Now, fellas, the big question is
how to make use of this information?
He's going to make use of this information.
- I got a suggestion. - Shoot.
If I were Rebecca, I guarantee this would work.
Somehow you get me to go to sleep.
Go on, go on.
All right. Now, you sneak into the room,
wait until I'm dreaming about you.
You're going to know when that is because of all the moaning and rolling around.
"Moaning," "rolling," good, good.
When I'm just at my most receptive,
if you get my drift,
you lay a kiss on me that will melt diamonds.
I wake up, but I think I'm still dreaming,
so I don't resist,
and then we make hot and sloppy till the cops arrive.
Carl, you're a genius.
Rebecca's going to go for this in a big way.
The hell with Rebecca. It was my idea.
I'm going to go get some stuff to help her go to sleep.
Woody, cover for me, will you?
- You got it, Sam. - Yeah. Woody, would you cover for me, too?
Where are you going?
Home. I just remembered I left something turned on.
- What? - Me.
- Where's Rebecca? - She's in the office.
Wait a second.
You're not going to put the moves on her here in the bar, are you, Sammy?
Well, I figure if I try it here and something goes wrong,
I'll just be embarrassed in front of you guys.
But if I sneak into her apartment and something goes wrong,
I'll be embarrassed in the back of a squad car.
Let's pour this into a saucepan
and put a little low flame under it.
You're not going to try to put her to sleep with a warm cup of milk, are you?
Excuse me, Cliff, but have you slept with over 1,000 women?
Put a low flame under it, Woody.
Stop just before it makes a skin.
Okay, one more thing here. What do you think is going to make her go to sleep faster,
Brahms' Lullaby or The Sounds of Spring Showers in a Rain Forest?
You know, Sammy,
that question has plagued mankind since the beginning of time.
How to lure to our bed the elusive Morpheus, son of Hypnos,
known to the sand dwellers of Rome as Somnus.
If you really want to put her to sleep, Sam, record him.
Uh, Rebecca, could I speak to you for a second?
Listen, I know I upset you in the office this morning.
No, no, no. It's me who should be apologizing.
I'm sorry.
I was going through something that was sort of personal,
but I really shouldn't have taken it out on you.
Oh, no, that's okay, honey. Sit down here for a minute.
You know, you're probably just a little off
because you're so tired,
so very...
Very tired.
Is it raining outside?
I hope I remembered to put the windows up on my car.
I'm sure you did.
I'm very, very sure.
Why are you talking so slowly?
Does it seem like I'm talking slowly?
It's probably just because you're so...
very, very tired.
You're right. I am tired.
- I haven't slept well all week. - No kidding. Why don't you go take a nap?
No, I can't do that. There's too much work out here.
Oh, what the hell, you guys do all the work around here anyway.
Carla, will you take my calls? I'm going to take a short nap.
Ow! Sammy the sandman strikes again. Did you see that?
Fellas?
Sam, I think you'd better take that tape with you.
It's put everyone to sleep except Woody and me.
Oh, good golly,
Woody sleeps with his eyes open.
Yeah.
That is scary, But it does explain a lot.
Rebecca.
Mmm.
Rebecca, this is your recurring dream.
How does it start again?
What are you doing in here?
I'm not here. I'm in your dream.
Go back to sleep.
You know. You know. How do you know about my dream?
What dream?
Oh, man, I hate you.
I hate you! You didn't tell your stupid friends about this, did you?
Oh, please, give me some credit, will you?
You told them! I hate you for knowing.
I hate you for telling your friends.
I hate you for being in my dreams!
I hate my dreams! I hate myself for dreaming my dreams.
Hey, then smack yourself for a while!
God...
I don't believe this.
Look at what I'm dreaming about!
A bartender in an off-the-rack shirt
with a button missing.
It's not missing. I always keep it unbuttoned so I can scratch my stomach.
Oh, God!
God.
You know, I used to dream about being swept away
by some rich, powerful, successful man.
And now, even in my dreams, I'm settling for a stomach scratcher.
Hey, rich people scratch.
Don't you understand what I'm trying to say?
I was taught to win, to strive, to achieve.
I was taught to never ever settle.
Sweetheart, how do you explain working in this bar
for the last three years?
Has it been that long?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that was a low blow.
I know settling stinks, but there are a lot of things that are worse,
like never taking a chance, always waiting for something better to come along.
What if something doesn't come?
It will.
Sweetheart, when was the last time
you had a close relationship with a man?
What do you mean by close?
Close.
Oh, yeah, like, if you mean close, close, close,
well, that would've been
just right before I started working here.
Three years ago.
Has it been that long?
Oh, God, Sam, maybe you're right.
Maybe my dreams are right.
I mean, what the hell,
I mean, it's not like the Donald Trumps
and Robin Colcords of the world
are exactly beating down my door.
All right, Sam, I'm going to do it.
I'm going to take the plunge.
You and I are going to take a shot at it.
All right.
Okay.
What do you say I, uh, pick you up around 8:00?
Pick me up now.
Mmm.
Hoo! Boy, I like the way I pick you up.
So, come on, tell the truth.
Isn't this better than waiting around for some Mr. Wonderful
to come walking through the door? Huh?
Oh, sorry to interrupt.
I'm looking for Rebecca Howe.
What?
Robin Colcord.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.
Have I caught you at a bad time?
No...
You caught me just in time.