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Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
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Hail, fellows, I bring ye joyful news.
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Judging from the in utero movements
of our little child-to-be,
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it would appear that the birth
of a Cranelet
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is imminent, give or take a month.
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Oh, feel that, dadders.
I think it was an elbow.
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Hello, little elbow.
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Wait, wait, wait. You can actually
feel the little kid in there?
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You don't mean to tell me that
in the myriad times
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Carla's been pregnant,
you've never felt her babies move?
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Hey, no guy touches my belly
unless he's paying for dinner.
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Lilith, might the boys have the privilege
of experiencing this divine movement within you?
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Oh, certainly. Put your hands here.
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There it is. You feel that?
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Nah, I didn't feel anything.
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I think I heard him move.
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No, that was my stomach grumbling.
I haven't had a bite since breakfast.
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Hey, I think your stomach just moved.
Guys, check this out, you can really feel this.
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- Whoa! feels like a big wave in there, doesn't it?
- Hey, now that felt like an elbow.
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Last week on Cheers...
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if it ever, ever got out
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that I have been having
sex dreams all week about Sam,
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I could never, ever show my face
in this bar again.
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Well, fear not. You have confided
in professionals.
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Your trust is sacred.
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Thank you.
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I hate you for being
in my dreams!
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I hate my dreams!
I hate myself for dreaming my dreams!
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Smack yourself for a while.
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So come on, tell the truth,
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isn't this better
than waiting around
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for some Mr. Wonderful
to come walking through the door?
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Huh?
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Oh, sorry to interrupt.
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I'm looking for Rebecca Howe.
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What?
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Robin Colcord.
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Yes, as a matter of fact I am.
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Have I caught you
at a bad time?
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No, you caught me
just in time.
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Excuse me.
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Hi, Sam Malone here.
Will you do me a favor
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and come back
in about an hour?
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We're about to close
a very important deal here.
45
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Oh, yes. I beg your pardon.
46
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No, no, please come in.
47
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Sam and I can resume negotiations
momentarily.
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Yes. I'll just take
a few minutes.
49
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,519
You know Robin Colcord...
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Colcord investment,
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Colcord Foundation of the Arts,
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- Colcord Plaza on Fifth Avenue.
- Oh, really? Small world.
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I used to date a secretary who worked there.
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Do you know
a small blonde named Angela?
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I don't remember her last name.
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I'm sorry, you'll have to be
more specific.
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Looks great in black boots.
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She sounds like one of ours.
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Yes, anyway, Miss Howe, I'm here because
I've received several of your letters.
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I don't believe they got to you.
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I have a male secretary who likes
the pictures of yourself you enclosed,
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- and I appreciate your business sense.
- Really?
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Yes, Howard was especially enamored
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of the shot of you in the form-fitting
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business suit licking an envelope.
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No. I meant the business sense part.
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Oh, yes, regarding
my South End property.
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I wouldn't mind having
one of those "licking" pictures.
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Yes, it's quite tastefully done.
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Oh, well, uh, never mind then.
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Does grenadine stain?
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Try soaking it in club soda.
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Oh, no, oh, jeez,
it's in my hair.
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I can't believe this.
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Look at that! It's in my hair.
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I hate this.
I'll be right back.
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I bet it gets all spiky.
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By the way, Miss Howe,
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I'm much obliged to you
for your suggestion
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that I unload the
South End property
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before the market
price bottomed out.
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Thanks to you, I've started to turn
quite a nifty little profit.
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00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,474
You took my advice.
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00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:08,725
Actually, Miss Howe, no.
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To sell when land values
are so depressed
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might be considered insane,
so I've done just the opposite.
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I'm developing the land
as an exclusive, urban complex.
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It's quite similar to something I've done
on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.
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May I use your desk?
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00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,158
Oh, please.
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00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,285
Well, you see, first, we bulldoze
the land...
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Did I startle you?
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Yes, but I like it.
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Whoops, missed something.
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00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,757
Yes, well... Thank you.
96
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:43,635
Now, here, we put our championship
golf course,
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and here, here, and here...
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00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,764
high-rise condominiums
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00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,141
overlooking the golf course and the...
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artificial lake.
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Something has to serve
as an ice rink in the winter.
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- It's beautiful.
- And just there,
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that spot of perspiration where your hand was,
that's the performing arts center.
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00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,699
- Mr. Colcord, it's time.
- Oh, yes, thank you, Miles.
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00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:09,244
I do seem to have made a little mess here.
Miles, will you get someone to clean this up?
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In fact, I'd like to buy you another one.
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Oh, it's just an old blotter.
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- No, I meant the desk.
- Okay.
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I'll see to it, sir.
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Thank you. Well, I want to thank you
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for drawing my attention to South End.
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And I owe you dinner.
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I love dinner.
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Unfortunately at this moment
I'm heading off to Beverly Hills.
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I love Beverly Hills.
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I do realize this is a bit sudden, but...
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would you care to join me?
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No, I didn't mean it like that.
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I meant I love Beverly Hills
in general,
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I didn't mean to whisk me away
on your private jet.
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You do have a private jet,
don't you?
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Oh, yes.
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I wouldn't even know
what to wear
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if someone took me to dinner
in Beverly Hills.
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I have credit lines
up and down Rodeo.
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It would be my pleasure
to outfit you.
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That is, if you don't mind shopping.
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I love shopping.
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This is great, Sammy.
What time you open tomorrow?
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I'll bring my laundry, eh?
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Believe it or not, some people care
about their appearance.
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I could take that as an insult, you know,
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if I cared about my appearance.
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I'm sure Miles has brought
the car around.
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He's sure Miles has brought
the car around.
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Well, that spot's better.
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Anybody see if that
English guy left yet?
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He just took off.
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Oh, yeah? All right.
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Fellas, fellas, here we go.
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Now remember, nobody
opens this door
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even if you hear
screaming.
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Especially if you
hear screaming.
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Rebecca.
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Rebecca?
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Rebecca?
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Hey, Woodpile,
what are you up to there?
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I'm making a map
of all the places
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Mr. Colcord's taken Miss Howe
over the past 3 days.
150
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,111
Every one of these beer nuts
represents a major city
151
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:07,988
on the West Coast.
152
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,823
Of course it was more authentic
153
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,242
before Mr. Peterson
accidentally ate La Jolla.
154
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Uh, here comes Sammy.
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Hide the map, Woody,
I'll hide the cities.
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Hey, Woody,
what you got there?
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Nothing, nothing.
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If you think it's some map of all the fun places
Miss Howe's gone with that rich guy,
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you're way off the beam.
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- Woody.
- It was bound come out.
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He'd smell the whole West Coast
on your breath, Mr. P.
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Guys, guys, guys, come on.
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You can talk about Rebecca
having a good time all you want.
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It's no skin off my nose.
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Are you sure you aren't
still repressing just a bit?
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All right, maybe a little bit.
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I mean, it doesn't seem fair, does it?
168
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I spent three years loosening the cap
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on that peanut butter jar.
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And now she's sticking to the roof
of somebody else's mouth.
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00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:05,003
Forget about it, Sammy,
she's yesterday's news.
172
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,756
Here comes today's edition.
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Look at those headlines.
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Oh, excuse me, fellas.
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Whoa, they raised that bar on me.
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Got to admire the way Sammy bounces back.
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He's still repressing
his feelings, you know.
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How come I can't repress mine
with a girl like that?
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Hello, everybody. I'm back.
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Notice anything new?
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- Wow, that is fantastic.
- Thank you.
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When you're done out there,
can you sweep up behind the bar?
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00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:50,840
Carla, Carla, Carla.
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Even your bitter little East Coast jokes
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bounce right off my back today.
186
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:58,640
Robin Colcord has just shown me
the most fabulous three days of my life.
187
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,434
- You look great, Miss Howe.
- Well, I should.
188
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,104
I spent all yesterday
having a complete makeover.
189
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,607
Feel. It's the skin of the rich.
190
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:11,528
Wow, makes a baby's butt
feel like sandpaper.
191
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:14,989
I know. I know.
192
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,325
I'm a beautiful, beautiful girl.
193
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,494
I feel so happy.
194
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:23,081
I feel like getting together
with my girlfriends and gabbing.
195
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,208
Carla, you want to gab?
196
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,210
- No.
- You have to.
197
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:31,131
I'm your boss, and we're going
to talk about my new, rich boyfriend.
198
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,135
So what do you think of him?
199
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,014
Men are pigs.
200
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,226
Nice gabbing with you, Carla.
201
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:44,769
Hey, where's Sam?
202
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,938
I think he's in the pool room.
203
00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:49,899
Carla, did he seem upset about anything
while I was gone?
204
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,152
Oh, yeah, I don't know
when he'll get over it.
205
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,195
Hey, listen,
don't worry about it.
206
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,738
It's chalk dust. It'll come off.
207
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,241
- You sure?
- Oh, yeah.
208
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,247
She's nice.
209
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,502
Well, hey, look who's back.
210
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,588
My God, you look fantastic.
211
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,756
I wanted to apologize
212
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,717
for running out on you like I did.
213
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,635
Oh, yeah, that.
214
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:19,554
Well, that was kind of sudden,
215
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,765
But we all managed around here.
I just hope you had a good time.
216
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:26,186
No, Sam, I mean because
you and I were about ready to...
217
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,187
Oh, yeah.
218
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,646
Then we didn't.
219
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,732
That's nothing to feel sorry for.
220
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,525
No, please, Sam,
accept my apology.
221
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:33,776
It was no big deal.
222
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,404
Please accept my apology.
For me.
223
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,157
- All right, I will, for you.
- Don't do it for me, do it for you.
224
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,450
I don't care.
225
00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,328
Thank you for ruining
a perfectly wonderful day.
226
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,371
If it means that much,
then apologize.
227
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,373
Oh, I bet you'd love that.
228
00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:52,253
How many do you have to score with
before you understand just one?
229
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,221
Sam, I need to talk to you.
230
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:02,931
What's up?
231
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:07,644
Well, it's a personal thing
about my relationship with Robin.
232
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,605
I haven't told anybody,
but I need somebody to talk to.
233
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,400
Oh, no, he's married, isn't he?
234
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:15,818
No.
235
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,154
- Gay?
- No, no, no.
236
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:21,074
Well, what is it? You can tell me.
237
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:22,700
All right.
238
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,245
I think it has something to do with this.
239
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,885
I hope that was a dream.
240
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,607
All of a sudden, she reaches down
to her neck,
241
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,193
and she peels off
her face,
242
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,570
and there's Al there.
243
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,660
I woke up in a cold sweat.
244
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:10,498
- So you never did get to finish the dream?
- No. I was awake by then, so I...
245
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,625
switched on movies till dawn.
246
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,336
They were showing the one with
Buddy Hackett and the ducks.
247
00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:17,380
So of course I was up
the rest of the night then.
248
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:21,342
So, Sam, do you remember
anything else about the dream?
249
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,553
Man, it was the eeriest thing. I mean,
250
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,015
it was real, and it was vivid,
like real life.
251
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:31,269
Sammy, that's a premonition dream.
That means it's really going to happen.
252
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,104
Carla, that's an old wives tale.
253
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,231
I'm an old wife.
254
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,443
I know about these things.
255
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,779
Rebecca's going to tell Sammy that
something ain't right
256
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:43,823
between her and daddy-big-bucks.
257
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:45,366
Really? Wow.
258
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:46,826
Oh, please.
259
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:49,996
Well, now, Carla may have a point there.
260
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:53,124
Excuse me, while I was blinking,
did we all just suddenly
261
00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:54,959
time travel back to the age
of the druids?
262
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,130
I'm not saying
the dream was psychic.
263
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,049
But perhaps your
subconscious mind
264
00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,051
has observed something subtle
265
00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,678
between Rebecca and Robin Colcord
that disturbs you.
266
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,222
I know how to find out right now.
267
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,100
Sammy, give me some of your
fingernail clippings.
268
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,020
I'll have Madame Mazora burn them
and inhale them
269
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,356
while she's in a trance.
270
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:21,986
Take Lilith along. The three of you
can gather round the kettle and stir.
271
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:28,910
Well, doctor, with regards
to dream analysis,
272
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:31,871
what do your two less years
of schooling tell you?
273
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,501
Modern dream theory suggests, Sam,
274
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:40,463
that dreams are not what they seem to be about
at all, but rather about the dreamer himself.
275
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,549
You have not been dreaming
about Rebecca Howe and Robin Colcord.
276
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,635
You've been dreaming
about Sam Malone.
277
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,936
Wait a minute.
Then why was it so scary?
278
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:59,982
Well, perhaps, your dreams
are trying to tell you about something
279
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:03,111
- too frightening for your waking life.
- Like what?
280
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,279
Well, like you care.
281
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,615
You care about Rebecca.
282
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:10,660
Come on, Frasier, you know me.
283
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,995
How can I care about her?
284
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,748
We haven't done the main thing
I care about.
285
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,919
Forgive me, Sam.
I forgot about your high moral standards.
286
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:25,675
You mean to say that you can't care
about a woman unless you sleep with her first?
287
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,803
Well, yeah.
288
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:35,726
I got this kind of caring mechanism
289
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:39,439
that only gets switched on
by a naked trip to the love zoo.
290
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,484
You're kidding.
291
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,112
Well, no, it doesn't
always get switched on.
292
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,989
Sometimes I go to bed
with a babe
293
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,866
and find out I don't care,
but by then, who cares?
294
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,618
Lovely.
295
00:15:53,119 --> 00:15:54,871
Aw, come on, Lilith,
don't get me wrong.
296
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,081
If I do care,
I'm as loyal as a dog.
297
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,542
Dog would be
the right term, yes.
298
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,755
Care about Rebecca. Ha.
299
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,632
Hey, Sam, you know,
300
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:08,843
Norm and I've been talking here,
and we come up
301
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,804
with a third possible
interpretation of that dream.
302
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:12,805
Yeah? What's that?
303
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,100
You don't want Rebecca,
you want Al.
304
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:21,481
I think we can safely rule that one out.
305
00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:22,940
Amen.
306
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:37,205
- Hey!
- Sorry, sorry.
307
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:41,042
Sammy, what is the matter with you?
You almost hit Cliff.
308
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,084
I'm sorry.
309
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,671
Yeah, if you just put a little more top spin
on it, you'd have had him.
310
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,010
Carla, I think I care about Rebecca.
311
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,221
Kill me right now, Sam.
312
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,015
Just drive this pool cue
right through my heart.
313
00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,808
You know how many years
it's taken me
314
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,728
to get over that
horrible thing you had with--
315
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,021
Diane.
316
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,773
Shut up, please!
317
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,569
I beg you, don't do this to me again!
318
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,696
I don't like it
anymore than you do,
319
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,615
but there it is.
320
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,618
It's all right, Sam.
It's going to be okay.
321
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,079
At least you've
taken the first step.
322
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:21,374
Admitting you have the problem
is half the cure.
323
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,751
What am I gonna do?
324
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,754
We'll move to Vegas,
and I'll be your love slave.
325
00:17:26,921 --> 00:17:29,590
Don't worry. I'll be okay.
326
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,134
You're not going
to mope, are you?
327
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,595
No, no. I'll be okay.
I'll get over it. I'll be fine.
328
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,808
Oh, the moper's anthem.
Look, Sammy, forget about her.
329
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,894
I mean, even if you do--
gag-- care for her,
330
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,229
it's too late.
331
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,690
I know. I can't compete
with that guy.
332
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:48,985
He's the first man she's gone to bed with
in three years.
333
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,028
She's gonna think he invented sex.
334
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,572
That's right.
335
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:53,948
Look, you've given it
your best shot.
336
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,658
Now just get on with your life.
337
00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,828
See, that's it. I haven't really
given it my best shot.
338
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:00,580
Yeah, I flirted with her
339
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,457
and I had her up against the wall
a couple of times,
340
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:07,044
but I never really walked up and said,
"Rebecca, I care."
341
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,380
Please, Sam, I just ate.
342
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,884
Maybe that's what she's waiting for.
Maybe she's waiting for some guy
343
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,637
to come up and say, "I care."
344
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:19,515
I could do that. I think.
345
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,517
Yeah, I care.
346
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,686
I--I care.
347
00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,438
How does that sound?
348
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:28,941
I don't know. It was drowned out
by the sound of my flesh crawling.
349
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:32,236
I tell you, that English guy doesn't care
for her. I'll tell you that.
350
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,904
I mean, she's just another
fling to him.
351
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,197
But that's the advantage I have.
352
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:36,782
See, I can walk right up to her
and say--
353
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,201
Don't say it again!
Look, if you're going to do it,
354
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,537
Just shut up and do it, okay,
get it over with!
355
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,914
If we're lucky,
she'll say buzz off,
356
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:48,127
and if by some remote unlikely chance
she cares back,
357
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,879
just don't even bother to chalk it up,
358
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,381
put it right through my heart.
359
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,511
Yeah. Thank you, thank you.
360
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,640
Okay, yeah, all right.
361
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,433
Men aren't pigs.
362
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,143
Pigs are smarter.
363
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,690
And this is Frank's design
for the main tower.
364
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,610
Oh, it's just beautiful.
365
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,654
And since I have
you to thank for it,
366
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,031
I have you to thank for it.
367
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:24,121
It's the same building
on a necklace.
368
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,541
And all the windows
are diamonds.
369
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,753
And there are
so many windows.
370
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,213
Oh.
371
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,216
Oh, you're welcome.
372
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:37,635
Now, I'll call you when I get back
from Zurich.
373
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:38,803
Will you miss me?
374
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,680
I'll fax you every day.
375
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,809
Hello, Sam.
376
00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:47,061
I see the grenadine
came out nicely.
377
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:50,690
Actually this is a new shirt
that just looks like the old one.
378
00:19:50,856 --> 00:19:52,983
Yes, that's very clever.
379
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,948
Did you want something, Sam?
380
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,282
Uh...
381
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,620
Yes. I, uh... oof!
382
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,707
There's something I want to tell you.
383
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:11,001
I'm sorry I haven't told you this sooner,
384
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:14,630
but I haven't realized this myself
until just now,
385
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:17,007
and if I don't tell you now,
386
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,552
I may miss the opportunity.
387
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,554
Sweetheart--
388
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:23,556
Oh, Rebecca...
389
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:29,603
I just wanted to tell you
that I care for you very, very deeply.
390
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,703
That guy.
391
00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,830
Do you know how long I waited
392
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,915
to hear someone say that?
393
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:54,837
Oh, I'm sorry, Sam.
394
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,964
You wanted to say
something to me.
395
00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,508
Yes, um...
396
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:02,094
We're out of beer nuts,
397
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,930
and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner.
398
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:08,809
If I had, maybe
we'd have beer nuts.
399
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,397
Oh, isn't he wonderful?
400
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:17,067
I didn't think men
like him still existed.
401
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:20,237
I mean, he can care about a woman,
even when he hasn't gone to...
402
00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:25,409
Gone to what?
403
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,703
Nothing.
404
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,039
You two haven't gone to--
405
00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,625
Paris or Taiwan, or any other place
406
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,043
where young lovers go.
407
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:37,546
You two haven't
gone to bed together.
408
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,299
We have, too,
many, many times,
409
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:43,260
and it was fantastic.
We moved the earth.
410
00:21:43,427 --> 00:21:44,970
Really.
411
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:46,597
His wooden leg didn't bother you?
412
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:48,182
He has a wooden leg?
413
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:50,684
I knew it! I knew!
414
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:53,604
I can't believe this,
415
00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:54,897
you didn't go to bed together.
416
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:57,233
Why not? What's wrong?
Is he married?
417
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,068
- No.
- Is he gay?
418
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,487
- No.
- You're not going to peel your face off?
419
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,698
I can't believe this.
420
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:07,243
Of course, I know why you didn't go to bed
with him.
421
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:09,578
Because every time
you're with Mr. Wonderful,
422
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,331
you're thinking, I should really be
with my dream man,
423
00:22:12,498 --> 00:22:15,960
- me.
- Wrong! The timing just wasn't right.
424
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,170
- Yeah, because of me.
- No, because of circumstance.
425
00:22:18,504 --> 00:22:19,630
Circumstances named me.
426
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:20,840
- Shut up.
- Me.
427
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,175
- Not you.
- Not him.
428
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,637
All right, if you want to know why,
Mr. Smarty Pants?
429
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:29,014
Isn't it funny how
whenever you think of me
430
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:31,350
the word "pants" pops
out of your mouth?
431
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,520
Me, me, me,
me, me, me.
432
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:36,605
Me, me, me,
me, me, me.
433
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:40,276
I did not go to bed with Robin Colcord
for a very good reason.
434
00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,194
- Me.
- No, me!
435
00:22:43,737 --> 00:22:46,615
Maybe because I haven't been
to bed with a man in so long
436
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:50,244
that I would probably be so crummy
that he would leave me!
437
00:22:50,828 --> 00:22:53,747
And then I'll be stuck
right back where I was.
438
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,959
If memory serves me,
that would be with...
439
00:22:57,126 --> 00:22:58,752
Me, me, me,
me, me, me.
440
00:22:58,919 --> 00:22:59,920
Get out!
441
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,635
What do you want now, bozo?
442
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:07,970
I've--
443
00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,308
I'm sorry, Woody. I thought
you were somebody else.
444
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,477
I have a message for you, Miss Howe,
but I'm not quite sure what it means.
445
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,021
What is it?
446
00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:18,689
Me, me, me,
me, me, me.