1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:04,463
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:12,971
Oh, Robin, I just get so lonely
and confused when I'm not with you.
3
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:14,681
Well, now, I've missed you,
too, sweetheart.
4
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:17,893
- Did you like the little surprise I sent?
- Surprise?
5
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:19,186
The Polaroids.
6
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:20,938
I don't remember.
7
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:24,525
The pictures of me
wearing that teddy you like.
8
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,445
The picture of me
holding that teddy you like.
9
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:31,156
Now, Rebecca, don't tease,
not so early in my sentence.
10
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,242
Oh, Robin, you really mean
you didn't get the pictures?
11
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,826
I think I would remember.
12
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,578
Well, I know I mailed them.
13
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,164
I went to pick up
my final paycheck at Cheers,
14
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:40,415
and then I mailed them.
15
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,669
- Oh. Well, they'll get here.
- Yeah.
16
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:47,673
Okay, for this one without the teddy,
we'll start the bidding...
17
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,634
Start the bidding at ten bucks.
18
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:51,718
Don't crowd.
19
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:52,761
$100.
20
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,463
I guess I don't have
to show you where
21
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,089
anything is behind the bar,
right, Mr. Peterson?
22
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,760
No, no. We got the beer taps,
you got your cherries,
23
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:17,137
olives, pretzel bag.
24
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:18,889
Hey, hey, hey!
25
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,141
You guys got
a cash register back here!
26
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,271
Oh, my God.
27
00:02:26,438 --> 00:02:27,981
I'm in one of Norm's dreams.
28
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:32,235
No, no, no. I'm just doing
my hour behind the bar
29
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,321
to qualify for the employees'
basketball game.
30
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,199
Although my dreams
are very similar to this.
31
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,453
Except for in my dreams,
the kegs are a lot taller, and...
32
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,580
Well, I can fly.
33
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:47,209
I got a good feeling
this year, guys.
34
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,502
I think we're going
to beat those guys
35
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,253
- from Gary's Old Towne Tavern.
- Yeah.
36
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,839
- All right!
- Oh, this again.
37
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,633
I mean, every year,
they beat you,
38
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,802
humiliate you, outsmart you,
and take your money.
39
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,428
I mean, where's the virtue in that?
40
00:02:58,595 --> 00:02:59,554
Tradition.
41
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,892
Well, forgive me
if I don't share your enthusiasm.
42
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:07,145
I've just been feeling
a bit edgy these days.
43
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,397
Why's that, Dr. Crane?
44
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:13,068
Well, Lilith, in her own dear,
compulsive little way,
45
00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,655
made the mistake of asking me
if I thought she looked fat.
46
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,115
And what did you say?
47
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,158
I told her she looked just fine.
48
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,536
Oh. Rookie mistake.
49
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,123
So, what kind of punishment
are you getting?
50
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:27,624
I'm not getting any.
51
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,292
Oh. You got off easy.
52
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,419
No.
53
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,879
I'm not getting any.
54
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,633
No, you're getting off easy.
55
00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,971
Ho, Woody. Think fast!
56
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:47,310
- Hey, hey!
- All right, Sam!
57
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,353
Way to go, Sammy!
58
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,151
Way to pass her, Sam!
59
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,153
Wait till you guys hear
what I did this weekend.
60
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,446
You know, ever since
I bought this bar,
61
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,990
I've been trying to remind people
it's still a sports bar,
62
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:03,493
so I've been going around renewing
some of my old sports contacts.
63
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,203
And for those of you
who have never seen Sam
64
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,290
renewing his old sports contacts,
it goes something like this.
65
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,709
"Oh, come on.
You've got to remember me.
66
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:11,918
You got to."
67
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,088
Just shows what you know.
68
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,214
I happen to have spent the weekend
69
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,467
going head-to-head
with Kevin McHale.
70
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:19,551
- Really?
- Whoa!
71
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,803
- That's my favorite Celtic.
- Yeah?
72
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:25,223
You know, basketball was invented
by the ancient Celtics.
73
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:30,687
Well, yeah, interestingly enough,
so was the parquet floor.
74
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:33,523
You've been working
without your hat,
75
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:34,649
haven't you, Cliff?
76
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:36,943
So, Sammy...
77
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,029
You shot hoops
with Kevin McHale?
78
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,907
Actually, no. I played golf with him.
79
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,200
Beat him, too, you know.
80
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,242
Hurt him bad.
81
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,327
- All right!
- All right!
82
00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:46,912
Yeah, you know,
big star as he is,
83
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:51,208
you shank a tee shot into his shin,
he'll cry just like anybody else.
84
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,461
- Sammy, I got a great idea.
- Yeah, what?
85
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,672
Ask Kevin to play on our team.
Then we'll really cream Gary!
86
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,800
- Yeah!
- No, no, that'd be cheating.
87
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,676
But that'd be good cheating.
88
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,472
At what point does cheating
become a moral dilemma?
89
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:10,227
I mean, can the severity
of snitching that last piece of cake
90
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,103
be compared to...
91
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,565
...cheating on one's wife
with a beautiful young woman
92
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:17,776
that works in the office next to yours?
93
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,281
I should footnote this by adding
that I'm not getting any.
94
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:27,953
Hello, sports fans.
95
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,872
- Boo!
- Boo!
96
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,833
What are you doing here, Gary?
97
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:36,044
I just came by to introduce you
to some of my new employees.
98
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,171
Come on down, boys.
99
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,928
Hey, come on.
Those guys are ringers.
100
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,889
They're just a couple of kids
working their way through college.
101
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,683
Oh, by the way,
102
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,144
I just wanted to let you know
that we're open to any wagers.
103
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,773
Oh, that's right.
You guys are too chicken to bet.
104
00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,110
We're not chicken to bet.
We bet you stomp all over us.
105
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,779
If I were you, Sam,
I'd get a piece of this action.
106
00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:06,658
He means, do we want
to bet on ourselves?
107
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,996
Are you kidding?
With those two skyscrapers?
108
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:13,248
Man, I thought
I was the bumpkin here.
109
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:15,667
Have it your way.
110
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,295
Oh, Sam, give me the ball
for a second.
111
00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:20,463
Watch this.
112
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,219
See you at the gym.
113
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,932
Boy, that Gary's a rat.
114
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,767
Yeah. Do you believe that,
bring in a couple
115
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,477
of professional ringers like that?
116
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,229
No, I meant stealing our ball.
117
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,482
Oh, man! That's my favorite ball!
118
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,318
I hate that! Get me the phone.
119
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,028
I'm calling...
I'm calling Kevin right now.
120
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,029
All right!
121
00:06:44,195 --> 00:06:45,572
He'll be able to get
that ball back for us.
122
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:46,865
He's way big.
123
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,160
Yeah, all right.
If he wants to play that way,
124
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,871
I'm just going to get Kevin McHale
to come down and play with us.
125
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,080
- Yeah!
- That's great, Sammy!
126
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,416
If he doesn't want to do it,
then I'll get Larry Bird.
127
00:06:56,583 --> 00:06:57,959
No, no, no, not Bird.
128
00:06:58,126 --> 00:07:00,754
- If he's in, I'm out.
- Woody. Woody, Woody.
129
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,130
You telling me
you know Larry Bird?
130
00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:04,466
I don't have to know him.
He's from French Lick, Indiana.
131
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,675
He's a doofus.
132
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,348
So what? You're from Indiana,
and you're a doofus.
133
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,558
Yeah, well, I would rather be
a doofus from Hanover
134
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:14,851
than a doofus from French Lick.
135
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:16,019
Everyone from Hanover knows
136
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,271
that French Lick is
the doofus capital of Indiana.
137
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,985
Of course, everyone
from French Lick thinks it's Hanover.
138
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:26,154
It's the fuel of a raging controversy.
139
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,074
Yo, Kevin. Hi. Sam Malone here.
140
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,534
Hey, listen, you remember
how I told you about
141
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,579
that game my bar is playing
against Gary's Old Towne Tavern?
142
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:36,665
Yeah, how would you like
to get in on that?
143
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:40,293
No, I know you've got
a busy schedule.
144
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,462
Sam, Sam, Sam,
tell him it's for charity.
145
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,006
No, no, listen, I understand.
146
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,050
I'm not going to bust
your chops here, you know...
147
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,054
...these needy orphans
have been through it all.
148
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:55,100
They're used to people
letting them down.
149
00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:57,894
I'm sorry. Didn't I tell you
it was for charity?
150
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,771
Oh, I'm sorry, man.
Yeah. Charity.
151
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,315
Well, no, don't worry about it.
152
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:03,858
I can get one of the Lakers to do it.
153
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,318
I mean, they're good guys.
154
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,989
I mean, they'll give up
an hour of their time
155
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,616
to change some poor kid's life.
156
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,245
Sam, leave the man alone.
157
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,913
You know, if somebody
doesn't want to do something,
158
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,375
no amount of manipulation,
cajoling, pleading, or lying
159
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,918
can get them
to change their mind.
160
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,212
That's fantastic, man.
All right, I'll see you down here.
161
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,300
Could you call Lilith for me? I'll dial.
162
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:40,103
Boy, look at the curves
on that glass.
163
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,691
Feel that.
164
00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,529
Boy, he's really
not getting any, is he?
165
00:08:51,740 --> 00:08:52,699
Pathetic.
166
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,076
Woody, draw me
another beer, will you?
167
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,954
Put it in one of those girly glasses.
168
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,960
Hey, everybody!
I want you to meet
169
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,629
your new bartender,
Mr. Kevin McHale.
170
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,637
Watch your head.
171
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:15,847
Low bridge.
172
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,475
Welcome aboard, Kevin.
173
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,144
I hope your years at Cheers
are as happy as mine were.
174
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,897
Sam, I'll get my stuff together
and get out of your way.
175
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,106
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
176
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,816
Come back here, man.
He's not replacing you.
177
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,234
He's just filling in here for a while
178
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,445
so he can qualify
to play the game against Gary.
179
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:34,949
In that case, here's an apron.
180
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,201
All right.
181
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,037
So what's it like
working with Larry Bird?
182
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,624
Hey, Larry's great.
Larry's funny as can be.
183
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:44,667
Boy, he's got some great jokes.
And mostly the jokes are
184
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:47,170
about these doofuses
from Hanover, Indiana.
185
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,761
You ever hear this one?
How many guys from Hanover
186
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:56,179
does it take
to change a light bulb?
187
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,265
It doesn't even matter
cause they got to drive
188
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,976
all the way over to French Lick
just to get the light bulb.
189
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,735
I heard it a little different.
190
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:17,242
Hey, Kevin, want to slam-dunk me
a beer over here, buddy?
191
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,828
No, I can't do that.
That's against NBA policy.
192
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,955
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
They don't like their athletes
193
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:26,417
promoting drugs or alcohol, so tonight,
Kevin's just gonna be serving water.
194
00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:27,585
To whom?
195
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,174
You believe this, Norm, I'm about
to play ball with Kevin McHale.
196
00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:34,175
Tonight.
197
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,427
You know, I didn't realize
we were playing at night.
198
00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:38,096
Are you sure the orphans
can stay up that late?
199
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,639
- The orphans?
- Yeah, the orphans.
200
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,517
The orphans, yeah.
You know, well, see,
201
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:44,227
one of the great things
about orphans is
202
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,646
they have no parents
to tell them when to go to bed.
203
00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,067
Listen, Kevin.
204
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,236
About the... these orphans...
205
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:55,321
Well, they're not coming.
206
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,656
Seems there was
some kind of mix-up.
207
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,450
You know, they had tickets
to the circus or something like that.
208
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,619
You know these orphans...
they're always getting freebies.
209
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,623
I don't know, Sam.
There's no circus in town.
210
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,625
Well, right.
211
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,586
It was the monster truck rally.
212
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,045
That was it.
213
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,298
No, no, no. Not tonight.
214
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:18,511
All right, guys, where do you think
the orphans are?
215
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,348
Come on, Sam.
There are no orphans, are there?
216
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:25,727
In the world?
Kevin, I wish that were true, man.
217
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,689
Sam, this is all a big scam.
There's no orphans. I'm outta here.
218
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,026
Oh, Kevin, wait a minute.
Let me talk to you here for a second.
219
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,527
Listen, man. Wait, wait, wait.
220
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,863
We've got a $5,000 bet with Gary.
221
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,615
$5,000, huh?
222
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:40,992
Yeah. I can't afford
to lose that kind of money.
223
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:44,913
Well, I do have a friend of mine
224
00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,582
who's on the board of directors
at the Sunny Grove Orphanage.
225
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:49,918
I'll bet he knows
where the orphans are tonight.
226
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,839
Anyways, I know
they're desperate for money.
227
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,258
And let's say the winnings
for our game were to go to the kids.
228
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,301
Hell, yes!
229
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:00,345
We don't mind
if those tykes get their cut.
230
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,890
No, no, Sam, not their cut.
They get every penny.
231
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:07,018
Ev... guys?
232
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:08,353
What do you say here?
233
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,605
I mean, we're in it
to beat Gary, right?
234
00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:12,482
I mean, that's what
it's all about, isn't it?
235
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:13,650
I want my money back.
236
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:18,196
Listen, listen, if Kevin plays,
then we're definitely going to win,
237
00:12:18,363 --> 00:12:21,449
so it will be Gary's $5,000
that we give to the orphans.
238
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,952
But if he doesn't play,
then we're definitely going to lose,
239
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,454
and it'll be our five grand
that we're giving to Gary.
240
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,581
- All right, I'm behind you.
- I agree.
241
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:29,874
I want my money back.
242
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,045
Okay, then we're all agreed.
243
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,757
- It's a deal.
- Here they are, God bless them.
244
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,259
They're at the boat show.
245
00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,310
Beat Gary! Beat Gary!
246
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,937
Beat Gary! Beat Gary!
247
00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:53,314
Wait, wait, wait.
Gary's not here.
248
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,566
Find Gary! Find Gary!
249
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,777
Woody, Woody, Woody, wait.
We're just early, that's all.
250
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,571
- We'll have to wait.
- Wait for Gary! Wait for Gary!
251
00:13:01,531 --> 00:13:02,573
What, am I the only one here?
252
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,701
Okay, guys, let's huddle up here.
253
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:05,910
Have a seat.
Have a seat, fellas.
254
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:08,121
- All right.
- Settle down, settle down.
255
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:12,375
Okay, the way I see it, anyone gets
within ten feet of the ball,
256
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:14,043
they pass it to Kevin.
257
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,587
- Sounds good to me.
- What if he's not open?
258
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:22,593
Old Towne Tavern!
Old Towne Tavern!
259
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,804
Well, the cheerleaders are here.
260
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:29,517
Well, Sam, you really want
to go through with this formality,
261
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:30,852
or you just want
to call the whole thing off?
262
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,021
Oh, let's go through
the formality, Gar.
263
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,356
Say, have you met
our new bartender?
264
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,525
Right over here.
265
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,320
This is our ringer, Gar.
266
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,322
Getting a little bald on top, fella.
267
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:43,781
Let's go!
268
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:51,414
Hey! Way to go! Way to go!
269
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,459
Kevin! Kevin!
270
00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,341
Good stuff! Good stuff!
271
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,930
Nice one, Kevin!
272
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:09,640
Let's go, Kevin.
273
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,518
Yes! Kevin!
274
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,702
Take that! In your face!
In your face!
275
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:33,039
Come on, Woody!
Come on, Woody!
276
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,375
Kevin can't do everything here!
277
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,919
- How's it going?
- Kevin's doing everything.
278
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,421
Well, say, what's the score?
279
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:42,799
- 72.
- To what?
280
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,675
We have 70, they have 2.
281
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:45,760
All right!
282
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:50,932
Sammy, I need a break.
I cannot... move.
283
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,142
Oh, yeah, take a break.
Why don't you get yourself a beer?
284
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,231
Okay, fellas,
I'm playing for Norm now!
285
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,149
- Here you go, Sam.
- Oh. There you go.
286
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:01,609
Fast break, Kevin!
287
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:04,779
Don't you love teamwork?
288
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:08,324
Don't you think maybe
somebody ought to go in for McHale?
289
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,909
I mean, he's the only one
been playing the whole game.
290
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,161
Are you nuts?
We're ahead by, what, 70 points.
291
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,664
I don't want to just beat this guy,
I want to humiliate him.
292
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:17,333
I want to hear that clown Gary
scream for mercy.
293
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,379
That wasn't Gary, was it?
294
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:23,297
Sorry, Mr. McHale.
295
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,091
You know, sometimes you can
just pop these babies
296
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:26,509
right back into place.
297
00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:30,221
Maybe not.
298
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,109
Gary, it's Carla.
299
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,861
Yeah, the guys just
wanted me to give you a call,
300
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,821
tell you that you left
something at the gym.
301
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:48,948
Your money! Your pride!
302
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,825
Did you lose a blue gym bag?
303
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:53,619
Cheers rules!
304
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,207
Oh, man, victory is so sweet.
305
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,293
This is even better than the time
we didn't lose so badly.
306
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,335
You remember that?
307
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,213
Yeah, but the best part
was Kevin getting up
308
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,049
and walking off the court,
knowing his foot was okay.
309
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:10,136
No, no. The best part
was Gary's total defeat
310
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,471
and humiliation.
311
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,806
Yeah! That was the best part.
312
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,766
Did you see his face
when we told him
313
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,643
we're going to give
his money to charity?
314
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,979
Yeah. You know, those moppets
will be glad to get the money.
315
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,856
Yeah, a lot they did for it.
316
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:25,485
Anyway, that orphanage guy's
317
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,029
coming over here in a while
to take the money back.
318
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:31,782
You know, Sam,
I don't know if I ever told you,
319
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:35,912
but, tragically, I lost
both my parents when I was...
320
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,831
Oh, in my early 30s.
321
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,543
I could sure use that money.
322
00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:47,507
Say, Lilith, how about that?
Would $5,000 buy anything?
323
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:52,512
- What?
- Nothing, dear.
324
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,056
I'm getting nothing, dear.
325
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,436
- Mr. Malone?
- Yeah, over here.
326
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,564
I'm Dr. Walter Froenmeyer
with the Celtics' medical staff.
327
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,107
Yeah.
328
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:08,569
I wanted to get your version
of Mr. McHale's accident last night.
329
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:11,489
Oh, well...
No big deal, he fell down,
330
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,241
we put him back up.
Nothing serious.
331
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,701
Does this look
like nothing serious to you?
332
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,829
God, the skin's all gone.
333
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:26,712
This hairline fracture runs
the entire length of the metatarsal,
334
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,047
which would indicate
there was some sort of
335
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,216
a jarring after the initial impact.
336
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,968
It was me. I fell on him.
337
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,886
And then I tried
to pop it back into place.
338
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:34,929
I'm sorry.
339
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,722
Woody. Excuse me
just for a second.
340
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:37,890
- Woody, Woody.
- Oh, man!
341
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,433
No, no, come on,
don't blame yourself.
342
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,602
You were just at the wrong place
at the wrong time, that's all.
343
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:42,645
If anything led to this,
344
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:45,398
it was Sam's pig-headed refusal
to take McHale out of the game earlier.
345
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,440
What are you talking about?
346
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,317
Woody's the clod
who broke his foot.
347
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,570
If you'll excuse me,
348
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,572
I got a whole gang of reporters
back at the garden
349
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,199
waiting to find out
why McHale's out for the season.
350
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,784
Wait. Out for the season?
351
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,036
Oh, my God.
People are going to hate us.
352
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,998
Hate us? They'll kill us first,
then they'll hate us.
353
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,332
Excuse me, doctor? Excuse me.
354
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,377
Listen, there's no need for you
to mention the bar's name, now, is there?
355
00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:07,712
Why shouldn't I?
356
00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:09,297
Professional courtesy.
357
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,465
I'm a doctor. You're a bartender.
358
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:13,384
We're both professionals.
359
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:15,303
Sam, wait a minute.
Let me handle this. All right?
360
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:19,432
Doc, how much would it take
to put a hook in your mouth?
361
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,433
$10,000.
362
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,518
- Five.
- Deal.
363
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,772
Now, she's a professional.
364
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,318
Hey. Great work, there, Carla.
365
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,111
Right. Dodged that bullet.
366
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:33,237
Way to go, Carla.
367
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:34,822
I want my money back.
368
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,659
Oh, for goodness' sakes, Frasier,
369
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,953
we've been intimate
several times this last month.
370
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,413
Look at my day planner.
371
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,749
We were together
every night this weekend.
372
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,251
Oh, good heavens,
that wasn't you.
373
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:49,795
What do you mean,
it wasn't me?
374
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,173
I'm kidding. See?
Look how tense you are.
375
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:53,299
You wouldn't enjoy it anyway.
376
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,429
Well, fine. I don't want it anyway.
377
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,306
- You do too.
- I do not.
378
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,932
- You do so.
- All right, I do.
379
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,392
Well, you're not getting any.
380
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:07,146
Oh, Frasier, isn't it enough
that I'm doing it to your mind?
381
00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,404
Hey, Sammy.
382
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,656
You're walking.
383
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,532
Kevin, when did you get
out of the hospital?
384
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,201
What are you talking about?
385
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,952
I'm talking about your foot.
386
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,496
Nah, it's fine.
387
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,373
I iced it down for about
a half-hour after the game.
388
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:26,374
Feels great.
389
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,710
Whoa, whoa. Wait a second.
Whose X-ray is this, then, huh?
390
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:30,795
Is that not yours?
391
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,004
I don't know.
Let me take a look at it.
392
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:34,882
It says, "adult male gorilla."
393
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,843
That's not me.
Could be Laimbeer, huh?
394
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,183
Oh, man, I can't believe this.
395
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,227
Gary sends in a fake doctor
to steal our money.
396
00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:49,563
Do you believe that?
God, even when we beat him, he wins.
397
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,857
Hey, Sam, I'd like you
to meet Father Conrad here
398
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,526
from the Sunny Grove Orphanage.
399
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,694
I hope you don't mind
400
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:56,612
that we brought
a photographer along.
401
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:58,280
So, Sam, why don't you
come on around there
402
00:19:58,447 --> 00:19:59,323
and get a picture
with Father and I
403
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,826
and the $5,000
you're giving us. Come on.
404
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,662
You want to do this right now?
405
00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:05,996
Yeah, come on over. Let's go.
406
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,333
Okay. I'll be right there. Let me...
407
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,336
What are we going to do?
408
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:14,046
All right, short people in front.
409
00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:17,800
Look what you did.
410
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:20,177
You made me smack you
in front of a priest.
411
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,558
Boys, boys, we can work this out.
412
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,351
Yeah, how?
We don't have any money.
413
00:20:27,518 --> 00:20:30,062
But we got a lot
of people in here, right.
414
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,273
How about we collect
as much money as we can.
415
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:33,733
- That's good.
- We give it to him,
416
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,652
and then make sure everybody knows
that Gary's the one that stole
417
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,320
the 5,000 bucks from those kids?
418
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,363
There you go.
419
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,783
Give me some money.
It's for a good cause.
420
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,618
What cause?
421
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:45,995
Cause I said.
422
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:51,667
Hey, Sammy. The father and I
were just talking about it.
423
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,669
Those kids are really
going to enjoy that money.
424
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,337
They'll get shoes,
some eyeglasses...
425
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,089
You know, Kevin,
we don't quite have $5,000,
426
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,924
but we're pretty darn close here.
427
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,218
Sammy, Sammy,
where is the orphans' money?
428
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,261
He has it!
429
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,638
- Hey!
- Boo!
430
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:07,516
Thank you, Sam.
Thank you all for coming.
431
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:10,895
Father, on behalf
of Gary's Old Towne Tavern,
432
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:13,522
I'd like to present you
with a souvenir jacket.
433
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,941
And we have one
for you, too, Kevin,
434
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,360
with extra-long sleeves.
435
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,279
Oh, nice.
436
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:25,576
And... here's a little check
for those wonderful kids.
437
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:27,536
$5,000, Kevin.
438
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:29,872
$5,000. That's great.
439
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,040
Hey, Gary, let's get
a picture with this.
440
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,374
That's a great idea.
441
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:33,709
Sammy, would you
get out of the way?
442
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:35,211
You're blocking the picture.
443
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:38,088
We got a donation, too.
Hold on a second.
444
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:43,093
- How much you got?
- $11.75.
445
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,346
That's so cute.
446
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:48,974
Gentlemen, I have a bus outside.
447
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,810
We can swing by,
pick up the orphans,
448
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:53,395
and we can drive them over to Gary's
for some milk and cookies.
449
00:21:53,562 --> 00:21:55,064
- What do you think, Father?
- I think that's fine.
450
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:56,565
It's a great idea.
Come on. Let's go.
451
00:21:57,399 --> 00:22:00,903
Kevin, you don't understand, man.
That $5,000... that's our money.
452
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:04,782
Shame on you, Sam.
You know it's the orphans' money.
453
00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,660
Hey, Gar, thanks a lot
for the five grand.
454
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:09,078
Get out of here.
I don't want to see you again.
455
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,621
You're a bum.
Go on, get out of my place.
456
00:22:10,788 --> 00:22:12,039
- Go on, scoot.
- Fine, fine.
457
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,667
Eight years of humiliating
you wienies is enough.
458
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,837
I'm going to find
a tougher gang to humiliate.
459
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,463
Hey, you can look
all over Boston,
460
00:22:19,630 --> 00:22:21,799
you won't find any wienies
tougher than us!
461
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,344
Yeah, that's telling him, Woody.
462
00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:26,971
Huh?
463
00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:29,181
Man, we got to get back at Gary.
464
00:22:29,348 --> 00:22:30,432
Worse than we ever got him before.
465
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:32,977
Come on, let's get Gary!
Let's get Gary!
466
00:22:33,143 --> 00:22:37,815
Let's get Gary!
Let's get Gary!
467
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:38,858
Aw, now, wait a minute.
468
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,234
Let's get Gary!
Let's get Gary!
469
00:22:40,401 --> 00:22:42,903
What are we doing?
Man, we're pathetic.
470
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,698
We've been trying
to get Gary for eight years.
471
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:48,409
We never win. We're pathetic.
472
00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,911
There's nobody
more pathetic than us
473
00:22:51,078 --> 00:22:52,454
in the whole world.
474
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:55,499
Oh, please, Lilith.
475
00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:57,418
Anything.
476
00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,837
A back rub, a handshake.
477
00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:01,630
Blow me a kiss.
478
00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:09,430
We're not Frasier.
479
00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:14,435
We're not Frasier!
We're not Frasier!