1 00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:04,463 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:08,717 Anybody seen my gum? I left it around here somewhere. 3 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:10,135 What'd you take your gum out for? 4 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:12,304 Ah, give my mouth a rest. You know. 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:17,976 "Dear diary, today it finally happened." 6 00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,355 Wood, can I have another... 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,484 Cliff, I think I found your gum. 8 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:30,072 Shoot. This is a new jacket, too, man. 9 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,949 Well, Norm, if you don't mind, I suggest that you ice it, 10 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,826 then try to scrape the bulk of it off with a razor blade, 11 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,495 and maybe that way you can save it. 12 00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:37,704 Oh, no, that's okay, Frase. 13 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,831 I was about to get a new piece anyway. 14 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,003 Sounds like a lot of work, Frasier. I don't know. 15 00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,548 Well, alternatively, you could wait several years 16 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:48,924 for the resins to break down, 17 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:51,218 the gum to harden and fall off by itself. 18 00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:01,103 I seem to have my full range of movement. 19 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:03,522 I can wait. 20 00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:22,517 Boy, did it just get warm in here? I hate Indian summers. 21 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:25,228 I never know what to wear to work in the morning. 22 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,898 If it's going to get cold, it should stay cold. 23 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,610 But then, who am I to question the Lord? 24 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,869 What's with the getup? 25 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:44,289 It's Indian summer, Sam. I need these clothes for protection. 26 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:46,375 Protection from what? 27 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,126 The eyes of men. 28 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:50,879 What are you talking about? 29 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:54,383 Every time I've conceived a kid, it's been during Indian summer. 30 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:56,385 It's when I'm at my most fertile, Sammy. 31 00:02:56,551 --> 00:03:00,597 I cannot let any man touch me, talk to me, or see me, 32 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:03,350 or I'll be shooting out kids like a PEZ dispenser. 33 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:07,479 Oh, come on. 34 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:11,066 No, Sammy, I've gone over two years now 35 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,359 without having a kid. 36 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,654 And that's a record for me. I'm not taking any chances. 37 00:03:15,821 --> 00:03:19,449 I'm just gonna stay home, turn off the lights, lie down. 38 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:21,326 But the cable man's coming over. 39 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:24,371 Sweetheart, I promise you, 40 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,581 I won't let anybody put the moves on you, okay? 41 00:03:26,748 --> 00:03:30,001 Oh, no, you don't understand, Sammy. It's not them. It's me. 42 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:34,172 When the mercury hits 95, I can't be responsible for my actions. 43 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,468 Oh, who is that hunk over there, 44 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:41,012 in the uniform, with the cute buns? 45 00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,224 Oh, my God, it's Clavin! 46 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,103 Oh, this is... 47 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,855 This is worse than I thought. 48 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,858 Has he always had that mustache? 49 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:57,904 Iced coffee will cool me down. 50 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,072 Hey, you guys, listen to this. 51 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:03,034 "Rumor has it that the reason jillionaire jailbird Robin Colcord 52 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:06,371 gave up his fortune and freedom was a mystery femme. 53 00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:10,083 But so far, our little caged Robin isn't singing." 54 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:14,087 Boy, that writer really paints a picture, doesn't he? 55 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:20,594 You know, I can just picture Mr. Colcord sitting on his little perch in a cage, 56 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,263 sharpening his beak on a cuttlebone. 57 00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,973 Woody, Woody. 58 00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:28,226 Pecking away at the little bell made of sesame seeds. 59 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:30,061 Sam! 60 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,939 Rebecca, this is kind of a rip-off, isn't it? 61 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,776 - They don't even mention your name. - And don't think I'm not grateful. 62 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,903 What do you mean? You could've been famous. 63 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,696 Yes, someday I'd like to be famous, 64 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:41,573 but not because I'm involved with a rich man. 65 00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:43,700 I'd like to be known for some real achievement. 66 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,578 Oh, yeah. How's that cure for leprosy coming along? 67 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,289 You know what I mean. 68 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,167 You know how the girlfriends of rich millionaires 69 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,836 are treated by the press. Like cheap sluts. 70 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,215 You know, I think it stems from the envy that the public feels 71 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,884 towards people who achieve a certain level of notoriety. 72 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,970 Well, also the fact that most of those women have posed nude 73 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,597 in popular men's magazines. 74 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,058 But, you know, frankly, I wouldn't waste my money 75 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:11,770 on publications like that. I mean, those letters are not real. 76 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:16,566 I just hope the rag magazines don't find out 77 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,485 that I am the mystery woman. 78 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,737 Oh, who am I kidding? 79 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:23,073 Those bloodhounds will ferret me out 80 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,825 the first chance they get. 81 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,118 But at least I have my dignity. 82 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,081 Well, I'm off to change the blue stuff in the toilet bowls. 83 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,462 What's the matter, Wood? 84 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,090 I don't get The Far Side. 85 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:47,138 Woody, Woody, hand it over here. Come on. Let's have a look. 86 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,059 Okay, Wood. 87 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,727 Now, you see here in the first panel, 88 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,230 cows are standing on their hind legs, right? 89 00:05:56,523 --> 00:06:00,485 The second panel, the car goes by, they're acting like normal cows. 90 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:08,159 See, the idea here is, Wood, that, you know, cows only act like cows 91 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,704 when we're around. Other times they act like people. 92 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,332 Now, does that help you clear it up a little bit for you? 93 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:17,627 I just meant I don't get The Far Side in my newspaper at home, 94 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,713 but thanks for treating me like a one-year-old. 95 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:31,808 Every time we turn on Robert Vaughn's Amazing Discoveries, 96 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,935 we always get the hair loss episode. 97 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,021 It's like they never did any others. 98 00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:37,898 We don't have to watch an infomercial. 99 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:42,235 We can choose from any of 60 wonderful cable stations here. 100 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,278 At the very least... 101 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:46,031 There's Lyle Waggoner talking about impotence. 102 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,910 People trying to whiten their yellow teeth. 103 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,828 Singing in the Rain. 104 00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:53,538 How to buy real estate with no money down. 105 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:57,375 Wait, you just passed by one of the all-time classics, Frasier. 106 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,002 Put it back on the yellow teeth one. 107 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:01,630 Just... 108 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,882 Wait. Wait. Go back. There was a picture of Robin Colcord. 109 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:07,218 Sources have confirmed the identity of Colcord's mystery woman. 110 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,346 Oh, God. They found me out. 111 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:12,641 Colcord's secret lover revealed herself in a press conference today 112 00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,601 to be Jeanne-Marie Beaulieu, 113 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,770 Charge d'affaires for the French Consulate. 114 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,814 - Excuse me? - Miss Beaulieu, a native Parisienne... 115 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,275 I thought Robin dumped that French babe for you weeks ago. 116 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,777 Well, he did. 117 00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,737 The nerve of that cheap slut, 118 00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,531 pretending like Robin turned himself in for her. 119 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:31,076 Don't worry, Rebecca. 120 00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:33,703 Your friends know who the real cheap slut is. 121 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,584 Thank you, Norm. 122 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,045 Now, Rebecca, don't be upset. 123 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,838 I mean, she's actually doing you a favor. 124 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:45,298 You're off the hook. 125 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,883 The press is going to tear her apart 126 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,302 and leave your relationship with Robin unsullied. 127 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,388 I guess you're right. 128 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:53,682 I mean, the only thing that really does matter 129 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,601 is that I am Robin's true love. 130 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,061 And it actually makes it more romantic 131 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,980 because we're the only ones who know. 132 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,314 Yeah, except for us. 133 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,525 I kind of told my mom in Hanover. 134 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:07,404 You know what I mean. It's sort of like 135 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,864 a secret valentine between me and Robin. 136 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,199 - And us. - And my mom. 137 00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,036 Woody, who cares if your mother knows? 138 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:16,913 I mean, who is she going to tell? 139 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,206 Are you serious? 140 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,792 She has choir practice tonight. 141 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,711 Once she gets a cup of coffee in her, 142 00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,754 those old biddies will bleed it out of her. 143 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,591 For a moist crumb cake, she'll tell anybody 144 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:31,386 why you never see Uncle Willie and Aunt Mae 145 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,097 in the same room at the same time. 146 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,100 Why... 147 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,685 Why would that be, Wood? 148 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:41,396 I don't see any crumb cake. 149 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:49,571 Cheers. 150 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,364 Oh, hi, Mom. 151 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,324 It's for me. 152 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,120 Oh, yeah, yeah. I saw the news. 153 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,622 But don't believe everything you see on TV. 154 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:03,126 That French lady, Jeanne-Marie, was telling a big whopper. 155 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,336 It was really Miss Howe who was having... 156 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,548 ...you know, with Mr. Colcord. 157 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,596 All right, I'm sorry. I will. 158 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,684 Where you going, Wood? 159 00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,270 I have to go wash my mouth out with soap. 160 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,648 I'm sorry, Woody. 161 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,525 Yeah, well, maybe next time you'll think 162 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,527 about the consequences of your actions. 163 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,996 It looks like no end to the heat wave is in sight. 164 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,915 Today may actually break 100. 165 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,708 Oh, man. 166 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,877 I better get the crib out of the garage. 167 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,006 Hi, everybody. I brought doughnuts. 168 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,176 Hey, gee, I haven't dunked a doughnut in years. 169 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,719 Wood, give me another beer, will you? 170 00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,806 Oh, hey. Seen The Midnight Tattler? 171 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,726 Seems that Jeanne-Marie sold her love letters from Robin. 172 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,727 Yeah? 173 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,438 Look at the legs on this chick. 174 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,107 Hey, hey. Guys, guys, guys. 175 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,901 Rebecca's standing here. Try to be more polite. 176 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:12,112 Oh, I'm sorry. 177 00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,030 Thank you very much for the doughnuts, Rebecca. 178 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:17,909 Look at the legs on this babe! They continued on the next page or what? 179 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,786 Don't bother, Sam. I've seen the article. 180 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,123 It was just a stupid, pitiable act of a desperate woman. 181 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,458 Those letters are not real. 182 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,001 They never are. 183 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,508 Robin did not type those letters. 184 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:36,719 I've seen his typewriter. He doesn't even use that font. 185 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:40,890 Cheers. 186 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,642 Hi, mom. 187 00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:44,978 It's for me. 188 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,858 Yeah. Yeah, I saw the article. 189 00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,985 Miss Howe says it's not even his font. 190 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,279 What? 191 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,866 No, mom. Font isn't a bad word. 192 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,243 No, it's not. It... 193 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,787 All right. Okay. 194 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,589 Thanks a lot, Miss Howe. 195 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,925 Hey, Sammy, how about turning up the sound? 196 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,136 Don't you care about any of this? 197 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:20,180 I mean, it's got to be bothering you a little bit. 198 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,640 I wouldn't be human if it didn't bother me a little bit, 199 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:24,434 but what does it really amount to? 200 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:28,396 I have Robin's love, and she has a couple of blurbs in a cheap tabloid. 201 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,857 And it's not like she's some national celebrity. 202 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:34,444 Join me tonight with my guests Michael Caine, M.C. Hammer, 203 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,237 and the woman Robin Colcord gave it up for, 204 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,949 and I mean really gave it up for, Jeanne-Marie Beaulieu. 205 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,785 Watch her kick it on the next Arsenio Hall Show. 206 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:47,123 Hey! I'm the one who should be kicking it! 207 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,056 Hey, this is getting very serious. 208 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,183 Thank you for your concern, Sam. 209 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,310 Do you have any idea how much that TV costs? 210 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:08,811 What? 211 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,855 The corporation owns this bar for three years, 212 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,023 you don't break anything. 213 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:15,318 I have it for three weeks, you yank my television off the wall. 214 00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,362 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. 215 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,239 It's just that I didn't expect this thing with Jeanne-Marie 216 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,782 to go this far. 217 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,409 Before, nobody even took it seriously, 218 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,662 and all of a sudden she's getting national attention. 219 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,581 - Tonight she's gonna be on Arsenio. - Yeah, I know. 220 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,750 And thanks to you, I can't watch it. 221 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:35,505 Why hasn't Robin spoken out? I mean, why hasn't he denied this? 222 00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:39,092 What if he really does love Jeanne-Marie? 223 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:40,468 What would I do? 224 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,262 - Hey, I know. - What? 225 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,222 I'll get my landlady to tape Arsenio. 226 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,267 - No, Sam... - No, you're right. 227 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,559 - Then I'd be obligated. - Sam! 228 00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,939 - You're not listening to me. - All right, I'm listening. What? 229 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,108 I cannot just ask him if he loves Jeanne-Marie 230 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,026 because then he'll think that I don't trust him. 231 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,903 - You don't. - I know, but I should. 232 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,697 But if I ask him, "Do you love Jeanne-Marie?" 233 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:03,199 And he says yes, I don't think that I could handle that. 234 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,076 If I ask if he loves me, and he said yes, 235 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,703 then he would know that I did not trust him. 236 00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,038 And trusting him is the one thing that I really should do 237 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,374 since he gave up his fortune for me. 238 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,418 If he really did gave it up for me. 239 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,878 Which I can never know because I can't ask. 240 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,842 Let me see if I can put this in a nutshell. 241 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:23,386 What? 242 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:28,725 Sam, would you ask him for me? 243 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,644 No. No, no, I don't want to do that. I've never been to prison. 244 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,730 Oh, well, it's not really a real prison. 245 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,398 No, it's like a minimum security deal. 246 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,899 It's like summer camp, 247 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,569 only Robin has to spend seven to ten summers there. 248 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:46,492 No, really, and when you see him, 249 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,786 don't tell him that I told you to ask, okay? 250 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,705 Make it sound like you just dropped by prison, 251 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,124 it was just a real casual deal for you... 252 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,836 No. No, Rebecca, I'm sorry. 253 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,047 Okay. 254 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:02,508 I get it. 255 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,885 It's just that... 256 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,432 Whenever I think that Robin might love Jeanne-Marie, 257 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:14,520 you know, I just get so darn mad, you know? 258 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,273 I just feel like I could just... 259 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:27,867 Okay, okay. 260 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:30,578 I guess I can swing by the prison... 261 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,582 ...on my way to the billiard supply store. 262 00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,171 Carla, watch the bar for me, will you? 263 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:42,006 I gotta go down to prison for a minute. 264 00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,216 Prison? 265 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,886 Isn't that where they keep all the bad, lonely men? 266 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,430 Huh? Come on, Carla. No. 267 00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,808 Oh, Sammy, take me with you, please. 268 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,102 - Smuggle me in your pants. - No. 269 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,854 Please. I need a tattooed man! 270 00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:59,065 - Please, Sammy. - Carla, no! 271 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,751 Ah, there he is. Thanks. 272 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:19,752 Hey, Robin. 273 00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,838 Robin. Hey. 274 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,006 Hey, Sam. What are you doing here? 275 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,844 I need to talk to you for a minute. 276 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,680 Oh, yeah. Certainly. Grab a racket. 277 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,515 Oh. Well, all right. 278 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:39,856 I'd stop to talk, only I just get three hours a week on the court. 279 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,359 Prison, you know. 280 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,485 Oh, yeah. 281 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,950 Excuse me. Sam, weren't you a professional athlete? 282 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,744 Well, yeah. I was a pitcher with the American league, but... 283 00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:57,206 ...I never actually had to hit anything. 284 00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,709 I see, so basically you just did what this machine is doing. 285 00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,711 Yeah, but my arm got tired. 286 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,255 So, Sam, what have you got on your mind? 287 00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:06,841 I want to talk about your ex-girlfriend. 288 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,969 Can you be more specific? 289 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,014 The one you ran around with behind Rebecca's back. 290 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,642 Can you be more specific? 291 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,060 Jeanne-Marie. 292 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:20,563 Oh. Jeanne-Marie. Yes. 293 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,233 I do hope her little game with the press isn't troubling Rebecca. 294 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,276 Yeah, well... 295 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:27,778 Yeah, it is, actually. 296 00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:32,575 You know, this girl is running around getting exploited all over the place. 297 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:36,245 But we all know that it's Rebecca that deserves to be exploited. 298 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,415 Hey, these things are coming pretty fast here. 299 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,500 Can we slow them down? 300 00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,085 Oh, no, if they went any slower, they wouldn't remain airborne. 301 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:47,340 Sam, look, if Rebecca is really getting troubled by this, 302 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,425 why didn't she make mention of it to me? 303 00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,719 Well, I don't know, actually. 304 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:54,680 She tried to explain that to me, but I... 305 00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,183 Yes. Enough said. Yeah. 306 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:58,684 Poor Rebecca. 307 00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:03,064 Her insecurities have finally got the better of her. 308 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,984 Well, perhaps I should make an end of Jeanne-Marie's little charade 309 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,986 and go to the press and tell them the truth. 310 00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:11,948 Do you think that would help her? 311 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:13,491 Sure. Yeah. 312 00:17:14,075 --> 00:17:15,326 Say, is your arm sore? 313 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,620 - What? - My arm's sore. Right here. 314 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:19,872 Oh, yes, well, we can take a break if you like. 315 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:20,957 - All right. - Maurice! 316 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,417 Thanks, Maurice. 317 00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:30,800 Hey, Robin. 318 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,176 Excuse me, are you through with the court? 319 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:34,762 - Yeah, Sherman, it's all yours. - Thanks. 320 00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:35,805 Maurice! 321 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,724 Hey, I voted for that guy. 322 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,236 Okay, guys, we got it. 323 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,573 I think Rebecca did us a favor by breaking that old TV. 324 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,491 Yeah, I like this new TV a lot better than the old one. 325 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:56,951 We're not talking TV here. 326 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:58,869 This is the latest in video technology here. 327 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:02,206 We got Dolby sound, black matrix, high resolution. 328 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:03,249 Look at that! 329 00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,751 It's almost as if Deputy Dog's right in the room with you. 330 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,545 - Yeah. - Yeah. 331 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,050 My God! 332 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,428 It's another scorcher out there. 333 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:18,347 I am sick and tired 334 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:21,058 of peeling patients off of my leather couch. 335 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:26,147 I tell you, the ones in shorts scream like banshees when I get them up fast. 336 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:30,484 Well, fortunately, I'm a trained psychiatrist, 337 00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:32,570 and I've learned to tune out cries for help. 338 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,452 Say, where's Carla? 339 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,204 She asked us to lock her in the office till the heat wave breaks. 340 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:46,208 Oh, for goodness sakes. This has gone on long enough. 341 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:49,045 The human female doesn't have an estrus cycle. 342 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,588 Someone is gonna have to tell her 343 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:52,923 that the weather cannot affect human beings this way. 344 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,092 Carla, may I have a word with you, please? 345 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,225 Oh, God! 346 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,688 How is she, Frase? 347 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,565 Be afraid. 348 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,276 Be very afraid. 349 00:19:15,780 --> 00:19:17,657 Has anyone seen an afternoon paper? 350 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,325 What are you looking for? 351 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,911 Because Robin's statement about me being his true love 352 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,371 is supposed to be in the late edition. 353 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,456 I sent Woody out for it hours ago. 354 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:28,542 You sent Woody out there? It's 100 degrees. 355 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,884 I'm sorry, Miss Howe. I would have been here sooner, 356 00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,762 but I think I passed out between the news stand and here. 357 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,140 Woody, my man, are you all right? 358 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:44,433 Yes, he's all right. 359 00:19:46,227 --> 00:19:47,561 Bet I'm on the cover. 360 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:53,025 Heat wave, heat wave, heat wave, children in sprinklers, heat wave. 361 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,694 So it's a little warm out. 362 00:19:55,486 --> 00:19:56,612 Grandma? 363 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,075 - Is that you, Grandma? - Here. 364 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,370 Thank you, Grandma. 365 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,039 Here it is. 366 00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,417 "Millionaire Robin Colcord says 367 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:12,461 that his true love is some Boston bar manager." 368 00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,296 What? That's it? 369 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:16,966 I thought I was going to be big news. 370 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:19,677 Such is the transitory nature of fame. 371 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,138 You have missed your moment in the sun. 372 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,014 I had three hours in the sun. 373 00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:26,726 Would somebody shut him up. 374 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,937 This just isn't fair. 375 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:34,525 Robin gave it up for me. Me, not Jeanne-Marie. 376 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:37,528 Hey, I wouldn't worry so much about Jeanne-Marie. 377 00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,155 She's washed up, too. 378 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,906 Look where they put her on Hollywood Squares. 379 00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,241 Center bottom. 380 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,912 Nobody's gonna call on her there. She might as well be a Gabor. 381 00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:51,000 I'll take Robin Colcord's lover to block. 382 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:53,169 No, no, whoa, whoa. 383 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,462 Come on, guys. Switch the channel. 384 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,297 - Put a game on. - I'm trying, Sammy. 385 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:57,673 How do you work this damn remote? 386 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,593 Whoa, wait. You need this one to work that one. 387 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,681 - I feel sucked in. - Relax, relax. 388 00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:07,641 No, it was my turn, Sam. 389 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:08,809 Everybody in the world was supposed to know 390 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,562 that I was Robin's mystery femme. 391 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:15,232 - I was supposed to be famous. - That's not what you said before. 392 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,651 You said the only thing that mattered was that Robin loves you. 393 00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:18,903 Yeah, yeah. Well... 394 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,615 That was back when I thought Jeanne-Marie was gonna be laughed at. 395 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:23,616 I didn't know 396 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,451 that she was gonna become America's little sweetheart 397 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:28,913 and I was going to become America's little stupid idiot nobody. 398 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,875 Listen, from the outside, fame looks great, 399 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:34,919 but when you actually have it, it's not all 400 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,546 - that it's cracked up to be. - Oh, how would you know? 401 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,008 Well, I had a little bit of fame once upon a time. 402 00:21:41,175 --> 00:21:42,051 Oh, yeah, right. 403 00:21:42,218 --> 00:21:43,761 That time you almost got hit by that truck. 404 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:45,095 No. 405 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,264 No, no, no. Come on. 406 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:49,016 When I was pitching for the Sox. 407 00:21:49,642 --> 00:21:52,186 Yeah, sure. Fame has its perks. 408 00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:55,439 You don't have to stand in line in restaurants. That's very nice. 409 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,692 The cops let you slide on a few traffic tickets. 410 00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:00,277 That's... that's very nice. 411 00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:04,615 Autographs. That's cool and all that. But basically it's just a hassle. 412 00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:06,492 - Really? - Yeah. Sure. 413 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,786 Not being famous is ten times better. 414 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,037 - Really? - Yeah. Yeah. 415 00:22:10,204 --> 00:22:11,956 You get treated just like everybody else. 416 00:22:12,122 --> 00:22:14,333 You can go to the supermarket in peace. 417 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,418 Nobody crowds around you. 418 00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:19,880 Matter of fact, they don't pay any attention to you at all. 419 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:23,467 They certainly don't let you cut ahead of them 420 00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,679 in the ten items or less line. No, no, no, no. 421 00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:29,431 You have to wait behind all the old ladies. 422 00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,809 And some of them have way beyond ten items, 423 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,686 cause believe me, you got all the time in the world 424 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:36,230 to count every little can, every little loaf of bread. 425 00:22:36,397 --> 00:22:37,982 - Sam. - And by the time you get 426 00:22:38,148 --> 00:22:39,275 to the front of the line, they're only too happy 427 00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:40,276 to cut up your credit cards 428 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:42,111 right in front of your face, cause you're nothin'! 429 00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:43,153 Sam. 430 00:22:44,572 --> 00:22:46,949 Sam, are you all right? 431 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,743 I miss it so much, Rebecca. 432 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:53,163 I know you do. 433 00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:55,332 But we're both better off without it, Sam. 434 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:57,501 Hey, you remember all that attention I got 435 00:22:57,668 --> 00:22:59,211 when that truck almost hit me? 436 00:23:03,507 --> 00:23:05,092 Well, there's no break in this heat wave. 437 00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:08,262 As a matter of fact, tomorrow is going to be even hotter. 438 00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:09,722 Let's look now at the satellite photo... 439 00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:12,975 Oh, my God! 440 00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:15,394 Clear out, everybody! She's gonna blow!