1
00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,421
Cheers was filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:07,424
What are you doing, Cliff?
3
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:11,303
Well, I'm leaving
a tip there for Carla.
4
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,056
One of the oldest bar tricks
in the book there.
5
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,558
Look, you see,
I fill the glass with water,
6
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,478
I'm gonna invert it
on top of this dollar bill,
7
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,648
put it on the bar, right?
8
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,608
It looks empty now, doesn't it?
9
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,694
Watch what happens
when she comes to get her tip.
10
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,405
Fasten your seat belts
and wait for the fun to begin.
11
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,287
Thanks for the tip, Cliff.
12
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Ah, the joke's still on her.
13
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She's the one that's got
to mop up all this mess.
14
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Thank you, Carla.
Your apology's accepted.
15
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:15,844
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Woody.
16
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,847
Mom finally sent
Grandma Meg's pressure cooker.
17
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So last night I whipped up
a batch of chili.
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- You want to try some?
- Sure.
19
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,605
- It's from an old family recipe.
- Your grandma's?
20
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No. This old family
that lived down the road.
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Woody, this is excellent.
22
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Normie, what do you think?
23
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He likes it. Normie likes it.
24
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I'm sorry. It seems
we've eaten all your chili.
25
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I've still got plenty
left in the thermos.
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I didn't have breakfast today, all right?
27
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Quick, Normie,
turn on the weather channel.
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I wonder if that sentence
has ever been spoken before.
29
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Ah, yeah. There she is.
30
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:08,647
- Who?
- Weathergirl Dorothy, my favorite.
31
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Isn't she dreamy?
32
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,859
Cliff, everybody looks sort of dreamy
33
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,570
when they have giant clouds
floating behind them.
34
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:16,905
Listen, listen.
35
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,699
She's got the cutest little lateral lisp.
36
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I always get a giggle when she tries
to pronounce "stratocumulus."
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00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,499
- So you watch this a lot, do you?
- Oh, yeah.
38
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:31,294
You get kind of a fatherly feeling
about these weather anchors after a while.
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00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:33,880
Well, besides, it's on all night.
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You're a very lonely man,
aren't you, Cliff?
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00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,138
Not as long as I got
my weather channel.
42
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,852
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Sammy's back.
43
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,688
How was your weekend
up in the mountains with Natalie?
44
00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:50,939
So great.
45
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,608
Nothing like schussing down
those fine white slopes.
46
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,069
- Ah, you went skiing, huh?
- No, no.
47
00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:04,077
Oh, goodie. Sam, you're back.
48
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,454
That's what Natalie said.
49
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,457
Actually, she said,
"Oh, goodie, Sam, your front."
50
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:14,296
I have a very,
very special surprise for you,
51
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:17,215
so just close your eyes
and come with me.
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00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:19,384
That was the déjà vu
of the whole weekend.
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Okay. You can open your eyes.
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00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,601
Okay.
55
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:32,856
Well?
56
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,818
I can't tell you how much better
Natalie's surprise was.
57
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,154
Well, you don't like it?
58
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,783
Well, it's... it's just...
59
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,535
Boy.
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00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,662
I mean, it's... it's really...
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00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,748
Boy.
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No, that's not the right word.
It's not boy at all. It's...
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00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,087
- It's...
- It's a tearoom.
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00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,798
Thanks for not making me guess.
65
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,842
So what do you think?
66
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,678
Well, you want
my honest first impression,
67
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,264
- my gut reaction?
- Yes, I do.
68
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,433
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!
69
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,229
How could you do this
without asking me first?
70
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,814
Without asking you first?
71
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,400
Wait a minute. I happen
to have paid $25,000 to John Hill
72
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,402
to get this poolroom back.
If it hadn't have been for me,
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00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,071
you wouldn't even
have this poolroom.
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00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:24,950
I don't have a poolroom.
I have a tearoom. Ish!
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00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:30,121
Look what you made me do.
You made me say "ish."
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00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:33,875
What's that on the floor?
77
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,419
It's a throw rug.
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00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,382
Oh, hey. Look at that. It works.
79
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:44,803
This wouldn't happen to be
a throw table, would it?
80
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:45,846
Sam, wait.
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00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:47,556
If you're gonna take my money,
82
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:51,142
I think my ideas deserve
a little bit more respect.
83
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,690
All right. You're right.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
84
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:59,317
This just came as a little bit
of a shock to me, that's all.
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00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:03,405
Tell you what,
why don't I just go outside
86
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,824
and come back in
and start fresh.
87
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,909
That would be good, Sam. Thank you.
88
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,372
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it!
89
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,207
Ish!
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00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,421
I'm putting that room
back the way it was...
91
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,756
...as soon as I find my pool table.
92
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,175
Three ball, corner pocket.
93
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,348
Thanks, Sam.
A little too much English on that.
94
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:35,687
Sam, please.
I know I sprung this on you,
95
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,898
but please give it a chance.
I think it could work.
96
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,275
My marketing survey showed
this neighborhood was in need
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00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:41,484
of something like this.
98
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,362
People want to go into a place
where they can just relax,
99
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:49,492
a nice, quiet, pretty little place
where they can just sit and talk.
100
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:53,204
Good one.
101
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:56,875
Honey, you're crazy.
102
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:59,711
I have people coming in here
just to shoot stick.
103
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,380
That poolroom makes me
an extra $100 a night.
104
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:06,676
Yeah, well, I bet with my tearoom
I could make 500 bucks tonight.
105
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,803
500 bucks in one night?
106
00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:10,555
What else are you
selling back there?
107
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:15,852
Sam, it's my grand opening.
I've been promoting all over town.
108
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You make $500 in one night,
and that tearoom's yours.
109
00:07:19,648 --> 00:07:21,733
- It's a bet.
- Okay, it's a bet.
110
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,360
But I want you to know
there's no losers here,
111
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:25,445
because I'm gonna share
half the profit with you.
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00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,532
Half the profits of the tearoom.
113
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,994
Oh, boy. Why didn't you
say so before?
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00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,579
Let's figure this out here.
115
00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,457
All right. Let's see.
We'll start with your profits.
116
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,000
That'll be... oh!
117
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:44,881
No, wait. I get half of this.
And that makes another... oh!
118
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,676
Fellas, look!
I get a great big zero,
119
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,302
and I don't have to lift a finger.
120
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,972
Oh, thank you, thank you!
I can retire!
121
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,390
Thank you!
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00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:58,979
God, he's a butthead.
123
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,529
Now let's take a look
at the regional map.
124
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,031
Southern sectors will experience
scattered clouds
125
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,533
over the Mississippi basin.
126
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,327
Boy.
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00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,706
Don't you just love
how she says "Mississippi basin"?
128
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,333
It just melts your heart, doesn't it?
129
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,962
You know, I sent
a fan letter to my Dorothy.
130
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,924
I wonder if she'll ever even read it.
I mean, they must get so many.
131
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,301
You know, I don't think so, Cliff.
132
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,846
I don't think that many people
watch the weather channel.
133
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,806
Seriously, I don't think
that many people know
134
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,307
there is a weather channel.
135
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,768
Boy, Norm, are you out of touch.
136
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,858
Hey, Frase, Lilith.
Get you a drink?
137
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,110
No, Sam, we are not here
for libation this day.
138
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,113
We are here for the grand opening
of Rebecca's tearoom.
139
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:56,161
Yeah? What, you're going to go
back there and make fun of her?
140
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,999
No. We're going
to go have some tea.
141
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:05,086
Then what, you're going to spit it
on the floor and laugh at her?
142
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,883
Just going to order it
and drink it down.
143
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,011
What's funny about that?
144
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:17,557
We're not trying to be funny.
We're just here for some tea.
145
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,017
Is that so hard to believe?
146
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,685
Yeah, seeing as how
she's been open all day,
147
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,020
and you're the first customers.
148
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:25,982
Oh, well, maybe the word
hasn't gotten out yet.
149
00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,360
Although she did send us
this lovely invitation,
150
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,738
hand-calligraphed on a lace doily.
151
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,740
Didn't anyone else get one of these?
152
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,745
Very funny.
153
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:41,539
You could have put
someone's eye out, you know.
154
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:46,711
Let's go, Frasier.
155
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:48,838
Hey, wait, Frase.
156
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,299
You're not really going to go
in there and drink tea, are you?
157
00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,303
Come on out here and sit
at the bar with the guys.
158
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,848
Come on. Over here.
159
00:09:59,015 --> 00:09:59,933
Yeah.
160
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:03,603
Well, I guess I could.
161
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:05,980
No.
162
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:10,193
You're telling us you're just
going to go back there
163
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,612
and sit with your wife and sip tea?
164
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,240
Yep. That's me...
165
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,867
...whipped and proud of it.
166
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,457
- Thank you.
- Here you are.
167
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,417
Please allow me.
168
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,589
There you are. There.
169
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:35,051
Now you'll notice on the menu
that we have a wide selection
170
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:39,722
of sandwiches and delectables
and many, many varieties of tea.
171
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,267
So, what can I get you?
172
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,519
Just some tea, please.
173
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,564
But... that's it? Just tea?
174
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:52,819
Well, perhaps I could tempt you
with some tiny little sandwiches
175
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,737
or fresh biscuits?
176
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,741
Scones?
177
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:00,660
We're both watching our diets,
178
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:03,454
so two pots of Orange Pekoe
would be lovely.
179
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,832
Hon, maybe we should split a pot.
180
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:07,709
Well...
181
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:12,088
Perhaps one of my slightly
more expensive herbal teas?
182
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,298
No, thank you.
183
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,134
You guys cannot just have tea.
184
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:17,385
Tea is a loss leader.
185
00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:19,470
I lose money just boiling the water.
186
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:24,642
And Lilith, look.
You are hardly fat.
187
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,936
You are borderline anorexic.
188
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,940
Just pig out.
Order some strawberry tarts.
189
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,609
Strawberries make me break out.
190
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,777
At least that will put
a little color in your face.
191
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,866
Perhaps we won't
have anything at all.
192
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,952
Fine. I don't really care. Get out!
193
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,831
Thanks for coming.
Tell all your friends.
194
00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:53,588
Frasier, Lilith, I'm sorry.
195
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:56,549
I'm sorry. I'm just desperate.
I don't understand
196
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,469
why nobody wants to come back
to my beautiful tearoom.
197
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,304
Well, Rebecca,
198
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:03,306
a restaurant should be...
199
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,558
...like a mistress.
200
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:07,810
You see...
201
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,357
...one shouldn't feel
that she's overeager to please.
202
00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:13,775
It's far more enticing
203
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,902
if you need her more
than she needs you.
204
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,033
Who is this "she"
you're talking about, Frasier?
205
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,577
It's purely hypothetical.
206
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,705
It's a little strange
for a happily married man
207
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,707
to go prattling on about a mistress.
208
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,334
Oh, come on, hon,
give me this one.
209
00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,711
You already heard me admit
I was whipped in front of the boys.
210
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,463
That was good.
211
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:41,010
You were right, Sam.
212
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,222
Nobody's gonna come in here
and have high tea and crumpets.
213
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,640
Oh, don't give up hope.
214
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,893
Maybe a carriage will break down
in front of the pub,
215
00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:50,687
and they'll come in
for a cup of tea.
216
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,606
- Have a cup of tea, please.
- God, I hate you.
217
00:12:57,151 --> 00:12:58,528
Okay, guys.
218
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:03,199
Just made up a fresh
new batch of chili.
219
00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,285
- Yay!
- Yay!
220
00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,538
Now, all I ask is you please
leave me some this time.
221
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,876
You guys really like
that chili, don't you?
222
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:18,423
Do you think that if I sold
that kind of chili in my tearoom,
223
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,675
that I could make $500 a night?
224
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,760
Easy, but why would
anyone want to go back there?
225
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,554
We got a free pot
of chili right here.
226
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:26,597
Good point.
227
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,392
Chili in the tearoom!
228
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,436
Chili in the tearoom!
229
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:35,440
Sammy, kiss that poolroom
goodbye, pal.
230
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,747
Sam, she's selling
an awful lot of chili in there.
231
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,583
She must be getting
pretty close to that $500 mark.
232
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,793
Oh, come on,
so she's selling a couple bowls.
233
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,670
I mean, how much chili
can a guy eat?
234
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,757
- Boy, I can't eat another mouthful.
- See what I mean?
235
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,426
Thank goodness they sell
these gallon buckets for takeout.
236
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,057
Oh, man. I'm going
to lose my poolroom.
237
00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,475
I've got to think of
some way to stop her.
238
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,852
I agree with you, Sammy.
Go for the jugular.
239
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,979
What do you mean,
like, sabotage her?
240
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:17,065
No. Go for her jugular.
241
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:22,278
She can't sell chili
when her throat's all ripped out.
242
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,698
Well, she could,
but who'd want to buy it?
243
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,326
No, I got it. I got it.
244
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,370
Let's call the fire marshal on her.
245
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,748
No, no. That would be
below the belt.
246
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:34,916
I can't do that.
247
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,168
Sam, can I talk to you?
248
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:42,298
I just realized that the closer
I'm getting to my goal, the more...
249
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,717
All I'm thinking about is winning,
and that's not right.
250
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,636
I mean, I wasn't considering
your feelings.
251
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:49,222
You've had that poolroom
for many, many years.
252
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,973
I guess what I'm trying to say is...
253
00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:55,603
I'm gonna win your pool room
254
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:02,652
Call the fire marshal.
255
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,701
Glad that dinner rush is over.
256
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,623
Give me time to put up a new pot
before the after-theater crowd gets here.
257
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:17,667
Sam, I'm taking a break.
258
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:18,793
Me, too, Sammy.
259
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,628
I'm down to the last notch on my belt.
260
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,839
I had to make a new one with a nail.
261
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:27,427
Hey, Cliff.
You got something in the mail.
262
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,011
That reminds me.
263
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,514
Did I ever take you out back
and kick the hell out of you
264
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,932
for that postal increase?
265
00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,811
Good. Just going over my checklist.
266
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,272
Well, look at this.
267
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,692
It's a reply
from my Weathergirl Dorothy.
268
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:46,821
Look at that, the sweetheart.
She sent a little photo of herself.
269
00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:51,075
No, I believe that's a satellite photo
of the entire Eastern seaboard.
270
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,495
Oh, yeah, but she's in there.
271
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,289
I mean, I'm in there.
272
00:15:56,998 --> 00:15:58,124
We're all in there.
273
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,502
The letter says, "Dear Cliff,
274
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,212
thank you so much
for your sweet letter.
275
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,922
You didn't mention
what grade you are in,
276
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:09,469
but from the handwriting, I guess
that you're a big boy of 11 or 12.
277
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,097
Maybe when you grow up,
you can be a weatherperson, too.
278
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,224
Yours truly, Dorothy Borsek."
279
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:18,769
Sam, the fire marshal.
280
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,062
Sam?
281
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:24,233
We got a tip that Cheers is operating
a kitchen without a permit.
282
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:26,569
Anything to that?
283
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,196
Oh, gosh, no.
284
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,198
I don't think anything
that would concern you.
285
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:32,700
Just a couple
of exposed propane tanks,
286
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,327
unventilated hot plate,
287
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,704
I mean, but that's...
now wait a second.
288
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:41,584
Gee, that's a potential fire hazard,
and you're a fire marshal.
289
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:42,919
What was I thinking?
290
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,631
I think I'll just take a look-see.
291
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,803
Maybe I shouldn't have called
the fire department.
292
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:55,515
- Maybe that was wrong.
- Don't chicken out now.
293
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,809
Maybe I should have
put a mouse in the chili
294
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,895
and called the health department.
That would have been funnier.
295
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:06,776
Sam, you should be
ashamed of yourself.
296
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:09,987
Do you realize everything
that Rebecca has attempted in her life
297
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,697
has resulted in failure?
298
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,199
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
299
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,617
This is her first success,
300
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:16,577
and you're trying
to take it away from her.
301
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:17,870
That's my poolroom.
302
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,373
- But it's her life.
- But it's my poolroom.
303
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,252
Come on, you guys
understand that, don't you?
304
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,878
Yeah, Sam. We understand.
305
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,588
We understand you made a fair bet,
306
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,049
you saw you were gonna lose,
and you started cheating.
307
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,386
Well, I didn't want
to be a bad sport.
308
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,972
I just wanted to do
anything I had to to win.
309
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,309
Well, that's no reason
for you to be a cheater.
310
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:42,478
But you were the one
that told me to cheat.
311
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,689
No, I said to kill her.
312
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,776
Cheating is wrong.
313
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,071
I'm sorry.
314
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,407
What, you all hate me now?
315
00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,325
Well, kind of, yeah.
316
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,621
I'm afraid that's some list, Miss Howe.
317
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:03,249
Great. Now he's writing her up a citation.
318
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:09,005
So it's beans, tomato paste,
onions, peppers, and ground beef.
319
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,464
No, that's ground chuck.
320
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,551
Ground chuck.
321
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:17,388
Serves eight?
322
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:20,516
What are you gonna do, share it
with the other guys at the firehouse?
323
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,852
Why should I?
What have they ever done for me?
324
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:26,480
Sam...
325
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,359
Why do you suppose the fire marshal
would come by my chili room
326
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,028
tonight of all nights?
327
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:33,821
Kismet?
328
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,575
No. Because you tipped him off.
329
00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:39,744
Sam, you could have
gotten me shut down.
330
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:42,288
Thank God that dear man loves his chili.
331
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,833
I'm sorry. I got carried away.
332
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,126
Yes, you did.
333
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,545
Listen, I got to make this up to you.
334
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:53,299
How close are you
to getting that $500?
335
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,425
About $20.
336
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:59,263
I'll tell you what.
Let me buy a bowl of chili for $20.
337
00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:00,556
No, Sam, you don't need to do that.
338
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:02,642
I want to prove to you
that I'm no poor loser.
339
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,769
Come on. Give me
my bowl of chili here.
340
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:07,063
Thank you, Sam.
This is nice of you.
341
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:10,566
Go ahead. Just put on Woody's hat
and get the chili yourself.
342
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:11,609
Because I want to get my camera
343
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,153
and get a picture of you
pouring that bowl of chili
344
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,946
that put me over the top.
345
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,531
You got to warm it up, Sam.
346
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:18,741
You know how to turn on the flame?
347
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,035
- It's kind of tricky.
- I'll figure it out.
348
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:29,085
Yep. That's how
I figured it out, too.
349
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,475
It was an accident.
350
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,979
Sammy, are you okay?
351
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,232
You ever had a pot of chili
352
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:53,776
fly by your face
at the speed of light?
353
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:54,985
No.
354
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:56,529
Don't.
355
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,157
Look at that hole in that wall.
356
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:01,659
Who could miss it?
357
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:04,286
I'm talking about that brick wall
across the alley.
358
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,665
That pressure cooker
really wanted out of here.
359
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,668
Okay, everybody out of here. Out!
360
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:13,170
Come on! Everybody out!
361
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,839
Go back to the bar, please.
362
00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,215
Not you.
363
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,634
I want to talk to you.
364
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,805
Don't you think maybe I should go
to a trauma center first?
365
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,600
Some of this could be me.
366
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,816
I know what you're thinking.
I didn't do this on purpose.
367
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,402
I swear to God
I didn't do it on purpose.
368
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,571
You did it just because
I started doing really well back here,
369
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,157
and you're jealous.
You're just a big baby.
370
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,908
- I am not.
- Yes, you are.
371
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,286
You want everything for you
and nothing for me.
372
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:46,454
Well, yeah.
373
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:51,000
If that's being a big baby,
okay, but I'm a guy.
374
00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,793
I'm supposed to be a big baby.
375
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:54,754
And you're a woman.
376
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,714
You're supposed to be
like a nice mommy
377
00:20:56,881 --> 00:21:00,259
and tell me everything's okay
and pat me on the head.
378
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,887
I'd like to pat you on the head
with a pickax.
379
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:08,225
Well, I know how you feel,
and I'm sorry.
380
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,769
This is crazy.
381
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,188
I feel so sorry.
382
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,564
No, you don't.
383
00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:16,233
Yes, I do. I really do.
I just feel terrible.
384
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,028
I feel like I could cry.
385
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:21,614
Okay.
386
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,824
Okay, what?
387
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:26,702
Cry.
388
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:28,788
What do you mean?
389
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,624
I mean make water
come out of your eyes.
390
00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:35,211
That way I'll know
that you're really sorry
391
00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,921
for what you've done here.
392
00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,550
- Just cry?
- Yep.
393
00:21:55,231 --> 00:21:57,233
Does it count
if you really want to cry
394
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:58,275
but you can't?
395
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,569
No. Cry, Sam.
396
00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,451
No onions.
397
00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:11,455
I want real tears. Now just cry.
398
00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:12,998
Give me a break.
What am I supposed to...
399
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:16,210
I mean, isn't this enough?
A guy who can't cry?
400
00:22:16,377 --> 00:22:17,628
I mean, that is heartbreaking.
401
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:21,006
Honey, there's nothing sadder
than a man who can't cry.
402
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,592
No, Sam. It is not enough.
403
00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:28,180
Wait. Maybe I can
help you out here.
404
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,320
There. Now we can go.
405
00:22:43,821 --> 00:22:44,738
Come on.
406
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:47,533
What was that sound?
407
00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:50,452
That was the sound of me breaking
all the windows of your Corvette.
408
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,040
There. Now there are those tears.