1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:04,505 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:07,674 Hey, guys, guess what followed me home. 3 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,051 A slime trail? 4 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:12,429 This cute little fellow right here. 5 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:15,641 Isn't he sweet? 6 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:17,851 The cutest little dog you ever seen, huh? 7 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,437 What you going to do with him? 8 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,523 I thought we'd just keep him in the bar here, 9 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,358 you know, like a bar mascot. 10 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,361 Guys, I kind of thought I was the bar mascot. 11 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,365 I don't think so, Cliff ie. 12 00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:35,494 Yeah, all right. Come on, Spotty. 13 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,079 Bye-bye, Spotty. 14 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,960 Oh, how cute! 15 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:46,380 Hi, little fellow. 16 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,091 Oh! What's his name? 17 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,635 Well, this is... this is Spotty. 18 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:54,555 Isn't he cute? 19 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,683 Yeah, well, he's kind of like the bar mascot. 20 00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,686 He and I were about to take a bath. 21 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,062 Would you like to join us? 22 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,140 Mr. Clavin, if you're looking for a home for the dog there, 23 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,808 I'd be happy to take him. 24 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:26,229 No, Woody. See, Spotty here is a thoroughbred pup. 25 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,066 He needs a lot of attention, a lot of care, he needs a lot of space. 26 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,609 I'll give you five bucks for him. 27 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:31,693 Here you go. 28 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,531 Hello. Any messages? 29 00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:39,368 Oh, yeah. One of your old baseball buddies called. 30 00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:40,869 Dutch Kincaid. 31 00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:42,788 I'll be damned. Wonder what he wants. 32 00:02:42,954 --> 00:02:44,414 Probably another home run. 33 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,918 I think you served him up something like 27 in his career. 34 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,712 What did that work out for you? 35 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:51,797 Oh, yeah. 36 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,507 One for every time he faced you. 37 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,470 - That was a long time ago. - Yeah. 38 00:02:58,637 --> 00:02:59,596 Poor guy is probably down and out 39 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:01,264 and wants to borrow a few bucks from me. 40 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,933 No. He wants you to show up 41 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,519 for Dutch Kincaid Day at Yankee Stadium. 42 00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,397 They're having a Dutch Kincaid Day at Yankee Stadium? 43 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,691 They're bringing him back for one more time at bat 44 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,568 before the game, and he wants you to pitch to him. 45 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:14,945 Smart guy, that Dutch. 46 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,784 He's got to be kidding. Why the hell should I want to help him? 47 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,619 I'm going to get on a plane and fly down to New York 48 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,413 just to give him some free publicity? 49 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,582 What are you worried about? You afraid he's gonna pop one out 50 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,835 and you'll have to see the old Dutch Windmill again? 51 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:32,504 What is the Dutch Windmill? 52 00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:34,089 Every time Dutch hit a homer, 53 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,466 he used to do this little dance while he ran around the bases. 54 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:38,093 It was kind of his trademark. 55 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:40,345 If memory serves, it was something like this... 56 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:43,056 Arms pumping and running like a windmill, 57 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,808 then wiggle his fanny back and forth. 58 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,351 No, no, no. 59 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,229 - It was more like this. - No, Norm, less jiggle. 60 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,480 I haven't started dancing yet. 61 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:55,610 Hey, this is fun. 62 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,780 Did you have a trademark, Sam? 63 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:00,657 Shut up and leave me alone. 64 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,784 Actually, Sam, that's more of a motto. 65 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,167 Come on, man. Don't let him lick your... 66 00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:13,211 Don't let him lick your lips like that. 67 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,463 No, it's okay, Norm. 68 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,548 It's an interesting fact that that dog's mouth 69 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,050 is probably cleaner than anybody's in this bar. 70 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,510 There's a shock. 71 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,723 Fras, how about you, you want to play with the puppy? 72 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,142 I don't know. 73 00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:30,479 My mother never allowed me to have a puppy when I was a boy. 74 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,941 Consequently, she instilled in me a slight fear of animals. 75 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,361 Well, it's about time you got over that. 76 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:39,946 Come on, now, Spotty. 77 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,990 I want you to say hello to your Uncle Frasier. 78 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,871 Well... hello, Spotty. 79 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:53,376 Norm, I think Spotty wants to go away now. 80 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,170 No, he feels pretty comfortable there, doesn't he? 81 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:58,215 Did I mention to you that Spotty wants to buy you a beer? 82 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,300 Good boy, Spotty. 83 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,722 - Can I help you? - Yeah, I'm looking 84 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:08,683 for a yellow-bellied, runny-nosed has-been. 85 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,521 Can't make one of those. I'm out of cassis. 86 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,277 Hello, Dutch. 87 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:20,779 Mayday. 88 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:22,572 What are you doing here? 89 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,242 I hear you're too chicken to pitch to me, Fluffy. 90 00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,912 What's the matter, afraid I'll make you look bad again? 91 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:30,872 I'm not afraid of anything, 92 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,499 and I don't have anything to prove either. 93 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,460 Malone, if word gets out that you're pitching to me again, 94 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,838 might give the guy the kind of publicity 95 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,840 that would put him back in the public eye, 96 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,050 maybe even in the Hall of Fame. 97 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:44,553 Oh, get out. 98 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,471 I could never get into the Hall of Fame. 99 00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,682 Not you, you pantywaist. 100 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,270 It's Dutch Kincaid Day, not Sam Malone Day. 101 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,604 Man, what an ego. 102 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,610 Find yourself another sucker, will you? 103 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:03,363 Okay. You got a men's room in here? 104 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,991 Oh! What am I asking you for? 105 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,328 - It's in the back. - Yeah, thanks. 106 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,456 Oh, I gave my neighbor's kid 107 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:17,335 a Sam Malone baseball card to stick in the spokes of his bike. 108 00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:21,047 Now when he rides it, it goes, "Wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp, wimp." 109 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,469 Come on, Sammy, let's go. Be great to see you pitch again. 110 00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,263 No way. I told him no, and I meant it. 111 00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:30,223 Come on, the guy's a jerk. 112 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,101 You got to nail him, knock him down a few pegs. 113 00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,227 No, no, no. 114 00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:38,690 Oh, no. You're afraid he's still going to be able hit you. 115 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:41,735 Oh, you kidding me? That guy's a washed up old has-been. 116 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,028 I mean, he hasn't played for years. 117 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,989 I could strike him out with one hand tied behind my back. 118 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,199 Worth a try, Sammy. The other way never worked. 119 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,747 That was then. Now I got the edge on him. 120 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,457 I'm young. I'm in good shape. 121 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,791 Ow! Shoot. 122 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:00,211 I got to remember to warm up before I do that. 123 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:07,427 Why don't you just go out there and humiliate him for a change? 124 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,512 Yeah. Yeah. Come on, Sammy. 125 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,140 Listen to yourself, will you? Have some class. 126 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,308 The guy's an old man. 127 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,936 Good for you, Sam. I'm impressed by your stance. 128 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,729 - It shows real maturity. - Yeah. 129 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:19,898 Well, it's gonna take a lot more than a stupid insult 130 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,025 to get me to go all the way to New York. 131 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,861 I'll see you later... underpants. 132 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:28,531 That does it! All right, I'll see you Saturday. 133 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,700 - Yankee Stadium. - That's the spirit. 134 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,161 Listen, don't worry about getting into the stadium. 135 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:35,038 Saturday is Ladies' Day. 136 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,335 That'll teach you to pinch a lady's butt in a locker room. 137 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,297 - Guys giving you trouble? - No. 138 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:10,258 I was teaching them how to pinch a lady's butt in a locker room. 139 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,136 Ah, look at this. Look. 140 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,891 I'm focused. I'm psyched. I'm sober. 141 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,977 Dutch doesn't stand a chance. 142 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:22,062 Yeah. 143 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,816 Only one thing missing, huh? 144 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,651 I know, Sammy. 145 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,653 Yeah. I wish Coach were here. 146 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,322 He is. 147 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,824 Attention, ladies and gentlemen... 148 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,661 Call me sentimental, 149 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,830 but doesn't this bring back the old days? 150 00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:41,873 Yeah. 151 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:47,754 I want you to get out there, Sammy, grind him into a raw, meaty pulp, 152 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,299 spread him on home plate, and slide into his guts! 153 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,302 I got to get a Kleenex. 154 00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,182 Hey, Sam Malone. 155 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,392 - Yeah. - Cap Richards. 156 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,479 I'm Dutch's personal manager. I cooked up this whole thing. 157 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,732 Glad I got a chance to talk to you. Here's how it's going to work. 158 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,859 Throw the first two pitches however you want. 159 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,946 The third one, though, just float it across home plate nice and easy. 160 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,781 - What? - I thought the home run 161 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,825 would be more dramatic on the third pitch. 162 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,786 If you want it on the first pitch, like you used to, go ahead. 163 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:24,958 You got to be kidding. Sam Malone does not take a dive. 164 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,043 I came down here to strike this guy out, 165 00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:28,128 and that's what I'm going to do. 166 00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,088 If he wants to get a hit, he's gonna have to earn it. 167 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,465 This is not good. 168 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,638 You ready, Sammy? 169 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,557 Yeah. 170 00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,309 I can strike this guy out, can't I? 171 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,769 Of course you can. 172 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:49,315 Listen, this is your chance to make up for the old days. 173 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,693 It's the last thing anyone's ever going to remember 174 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,655 about Sammy "Mayday" Malone, that he struck out Dutch Kincaid. 175 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:58,491 Now go on out there and smoke three fast ones 176 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,161 past that lousy, flat-headed bastard. 177 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,164 I got to get another Kleenex. 178 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:15,633 Yeah? 179 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,678 Excuse me. Are you Sam Malone? 180 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:21,431 Yeah. Yeah. What's your name? 181 00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,391 - Billy Kincaid. - How do you do, Billy? 182 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:28,396 You wouldn't be a relation to Dutch Kincaid, would you? 183 00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:29,689 He's my grandpa. 184 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,566 I've heard all his neat stories about 185 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,319 how you used to help him with those long home runs. 186 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:36,321 I never got to see one, though. 187 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,198 I sure hope I can see one today. 188 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,118 I may have to disappoint you there. 189 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,874 This is the last time Grandpa's ever going to play. 190 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,709 It's today or never. 191 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,755 Go away, will you? Go on. 192 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:59,886 My two brothers and my baby sister are all watching at home. 193 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,222 None of us ever saw him hit a home run. 194 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,141 Give me a break, will you? 195 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:11,189 Grandpa told us he wants to hit a ball so hard It'll go up to heaven 196 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,025 so Grandma can say hello. 197 00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:21,699 Now pitching... 198 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,493 ...Sam Malone. 199 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,246 Hey, Sammy! 200 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,249 Yeah, all right... 201 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,837 - Hey, how did it go? - Great. 202 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,216 Need me to scalp any tickets? 203 00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:40,134 No. You done enough for today. Thanks, Vinnie. 204 00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,981 Hey, you guys aren't supposed to be in here. 205 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,816 That's all right. We're with Sam Malone. 206 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,402 We're his personal trainers. 207 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,282 So you're okay down here? 208 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,952 We know our way around a dugout, pally. 209 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,121 Look out, Cliff ie. incoming. 210 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:14,711 Boy, that ball girl's really got an arm, huh? 211 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:16,963 Here you go, toots. 212 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,383 - Aw, Norm. - What? 213 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,137 The barbecue sauce got all over the nachos. 214 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,031 Hey, guys, I miss anything? 215 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,034 Sammy hasn't started yet. Where you been? 216 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,744 I've been visiting the other team. 217 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,121 Ran into somebody I used to get hot and sweaty with. 218 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,332 - Who's that? - The other team. 219 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:57,670 And now, stepping to the plate to face Sam Malone, 220 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,922 the man we all turned out today to honor... 221 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,716 ...Dutch Kincaid. 222 00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,729 Guys, come on. The first pitch. 223 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,107 Hey, Sammy, come on. 224 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,442 Come on, Sammy. 225 00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,694 - Oh, yeah! - Strike one! 226 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,279 Go, Sammy! 227 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,198 All right, Sammy. 228 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,824 Look at him up there. 229 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:29,243 Doesn't he look cool on the mound? 230 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,536 I got goose bumps. 231 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,704 Alright, here comes the stretch. 232 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,831 Ram it down his throat, Sammy! 233 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,375 Come on! 234 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,918 Strike two! 235 00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:38,294 Yeah! Yeah! 236 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:44,425 Bring on the heat, Sammy! He can't hit what he can't see. 237 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,054 Apparently he saw that one. 238 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,350 Look at that ball go! It may clear the center field fence. 239 00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,936 It's going, going... it's out of here! 240 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:07,740 Poor Sammy. 241 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,535 Boy, he must feel lousy, huh? 242 00:15:11,119 --> 00:15:13,329 He's really going to need our support. 243 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,164 We'll just have to be really nice to him. 244 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:17,667 We could sneak out of here. 245 00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,669 I know a shortcut through the showers. 246 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:20,920 Better yet. 247 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:23,756 Too late. He's seen us. 248 00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:29,011 Okay, I know what you're thinking, but I can explain it. 249 00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,264 I know it looked like a home run. 250 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,891 Our first clue was when the ball actually left the stadium. 251 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,980 Yeah, but it doesn't count because I did it on purpose. 252 00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:41,315 - Right. - Oh, sure, Sam. 253 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,484 You let him get a home run off you on purpose. 254 00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:46,362 No. I did it for Kincaid's grandkid. 255 00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:49,240 He wanted to see his grandfather hit a home run. 256 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:50,741 Hell, he can explain it. 257 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,785 Billy. Yo! Hey, Billy. 258 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,832 Oh, right, Sam. Whatever you say. 259 00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,041 We believe you. 260 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,209 Why are you using that voice? 261 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,669 That's your "I don't believe you" voice. 262 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,589 No, it's not, Sam. I do believe you. 263 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,341 Then why are you still talking... 264 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,302 Billy will tell you everything. 265 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:13,055 - Billy! Come on, Billy. - Sam. Sam. Let's go home. 266 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:17,643 We get to go on an airplane ride, and maybe when we're up there 267 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,646 we'll get to see that pitch you served Dutch. 268 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,774 I'm telling you, I did it on purpose. 269 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:25,651 I swear to God, there was this kid. 270 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,613 Hey, come on, Billy! This isn't funny. 271 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,704 78, 79... 272 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,709 You keep moving around, Spotty, 273 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,836 I'm not gonna be able to get an accurate count. 274 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:46,839 One, two... 275 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:53,346 Woody, I guess you've given up on finding his owner. 276 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,182 Why don't you want me to have this dog? 277 00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:58,976 It's not that I don't want you to have the dog. 278 00:16:59,143 --> 00:17:02,522 It's just that I have this thing about being completely honest 279 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,315 when it comes to lost pets. 280 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,610 Okay, when I was ten years old, 281 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,446 I had this beautiful Persian cat named Princess. 282 00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,449 She only loved me. She didn't like anybody else in my family. 283 00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,576 One day I woke up, Princess was gone. 284 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:19,539 My mom and dad said she got out through the bedroom window. 285 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,042 The weird thing is, I could have sworn 286 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,211 that bedroom window was painted shut. 287 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:27,838 It's bothered me for years. 288 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,800 Then, as you matured, you came to accept the fact 289 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:34,220 that it was your parents who in fact got rid of the cat. 290 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,890 What? 291 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,858 My Princess? 292 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,487 They took my Princess? 293 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,536 Oh, boy. Me and my big mouth. 294 00:17:58,703 --> 00:17:59,996 Why don't I just go down to the park 295 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,123 and tell the little kids about Santa Claus. 296 00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:04,875 What about Santa? 297 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,553 But we do believe you, Sam. 298 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,680 You know, I'm getting tired of that voice. 299 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:22,226 I don't care what you guys think. In my heart I know I did this 300 00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:25,062 for a little boy and his dead grandmother. 301 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,358 Oh, guys, look. 302 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:32,153 Spotty fell asleep on my shoe. 303 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,697 He's so sweet. 304 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,116 I just wish I was wearing sandals 305 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,660 so I could feel his little puppy breath. 306 00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,042 Hi, gentlemen, what can I get you? 307 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,918 Just coffee. We're on duty. 308 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,380 What's the matter? 309 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,509 Two weeks ago, our dog ran away. Cutest little puppy you ever saw. 310 00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:57,053 Just about so big. 311 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,972 Today, Chief made us give up our search. 312 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,857 Woody, I think they're talking about Spotty. 313 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,525 You want to say something? 314 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:13,527 No. Make them go away. 315 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:19,450 Come on, Woody. It's obvious it's their dog. 316 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:22,078 Give me a break. A Dalmatian, the fire department. 317 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:23,913 It's a different dog, ratfink. 318 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,750 Just cause you lost your stupid cat. 319 00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:31,921 Remember when he was born? 320 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,215 We each took hour-long shifts 321 00:19:34,382 --> 00:19:36,008 feeding him warm milk through an eyedropper. 322 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,552 Remember how he used to fall asleep on my shoe? 323 00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:41,681 I can still feel his warm little puppy breath. 324 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:48,813 What is it? 325 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,067 Nothing. Go away. Isn't there a fire somewhere? 326 00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,696 Oh, the heck with it. 327 00:19:58,114 --> 00:20:00,741 I didn't want him anyway. He's all covered with spots. 328 00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,785 Hey! 329 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,995 Take him. I didn't know he was yours. Honest. 330 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:08,290 Thanks, kid. Looks like you took good care of him. 331 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,960 We had a reward posted. 100 bucks. 332 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:14,964 I don't care about the money. I just want what's best for Spotty. 333 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,133 Gee, I'm sorry, kid. 334 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:22,638 Well, a ride on a real fire engine might help. 335 00:20:24,849 --> 00:20:25,933 We can't let you do that. 336 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:28,352 I miss him so much. 337 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,063 All right, come on, but don't tell anybody. 338 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,189 Yeah! 339 00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:37,236 - Hey, can I run the siren? - No. That would be illegal. 340 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:40,281 Oh, it's just Spotty meant everything to me. 341 00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:42,700 All right, you can turn on the siren. 342 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,786 - Can I wear your hat? - It's part of the uniform. 343 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,079 Well, can I drive? 344 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,831 Please? Please? Please? 345 00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,708 Take the dog. Take the dog. 346 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,338 We snowed them, dude. 347 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,725 Where's little Miss Malone? In the office? 348 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,643 Haven't you humiliated him enough? 349 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:12,104 Not as much as he humiliated me. 350 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,608 Hey, Malone, pull on your panty hose 351 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,611 and get out here. We got a score to settle. 352 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,905 Come on, Dutch, you had your home run. 353 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,573 Why don't we just leave it at that? 354 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,158 I'm not gonna leave it at that. 355 00:21:24,325 --> 00:21:27,203 You deliberately threw me a cream puff. 356 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:28,788 I don't need your charity pitches. 357 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:31,791 I didn't do it for you. I did it for your grandkid. 358 00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:33,584 I don't have any grandkid. 359 00:21:33,751 --> 00:21:35,336 What do you mean you don't have a grandkid? 360 00:21:35,503 --> 00:21:39,757 My personal manager and his kid are always pulling that scam. 361 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,842 That's how I got Dutch Kincaid Day. 362 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:45,471 This was a setup? 363 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:47,723 I had a chance finally to strike you out 364 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:50,142 in front of a stadium full of people and I had to let it go 365 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,977 for a stupid, lousy setup? 366 00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,979 You never had a chance, Malone. 367 00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:56,190 I can hit anything you can serve up. 368 00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,691 Oh, come on, give me a break. 369 00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,485 My first two pitches went right by you. 370 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,822 I let them go by for the drama. 371 00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:03,948 Drama? 372 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:06,742 You let them go by for the drama? 373 00:22:06,909 --> 00:22:09,328 You want drama, I'll give you drama. 374 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,539 Come with me. You! You! Come on, right now. 375 00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,333 All right. There's still plenty of daylight out there. 376 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,417 Let's do it! 377 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:18,712 I'll be back in about three pitches, fellas. 378 00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:22,258 Two grown men settling a rivalry by throwing a little white ball 379 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,969 at a wooden stick. How pathetic. 380 00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:28,889 Now, boxing, that's a man's sport. 381 00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:31,559 Punch a guy in the face and scramble his brains. 382 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:32,935 That proves something. 383 00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:35,563 Fras, you're coming around, buddy. 384 00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:37,273 Thank you. 385 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,696 Hey, shut up, you guys. Sammy's pitching. 386 00:22:45,239 --> 00:22:47,992 Oh, my God. There are two moons in the sky. 387 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:50,953 All right, lucky hit. Let's go again. 388 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,708 Gee, he almost hit a helicopter. 389 00:23:00,671 --> 00:23:03,924 Okay, 226 lucky hits. 390 00:23:06,010 --> 00:23:08,053 Hang in there, Sammy. He's old. 391 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,638 He can't live forever.