1
00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:04,463
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:07,257
- Good morning.
- Morning.
3
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:10,761
What's with the vegetables?
4
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:12,679
Same as always.
They're watching TV.
5
00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:16,183
Sam, I have changed my diet.
6
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:19,478
I'm finally eating right
for the first time in 30 years.
7
00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:21,897
30? What were you doing the other 12?
8
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,027
And I feel so good that I thought
we can all work on our diets,
9
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,987
so I'm making up
this little vegetable plate.
10
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,865
I figure if those guys are going
to sit around and eat, they might as well
11
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,076
- eat something healthy.
- I don't think they're gonna like that.
12
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,327
They'll never even notice.
13
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,213
What the hell is this?
14
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:47,256
What's wrong?
15
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,466
This thing I found
in the pretzel bowl.
16
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:52,261
Oh, my God. What are these?
17
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,054
They appear to be
orange and green sticks.
18
00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:57,558
I know what they are.
You know, when you go in a restaurant
19
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:58,892
and you order a nice
pink thick juicy steak,
20
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,812
and they put this other stuff
on the plate that you shove aside?
21
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,564
Oh. You mean vegetables.
22
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,691
These can't be vegetables.
There's no batter.
23
00:01:06,608 --> 00:01:09,278
You guys, you're not
even giving me a chance.
24
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,405
You sit around
stuffing your faces all day long,
25
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,324
so why don't you stuff them
with something that's good for you?
26
00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:15,701
Go ahead. Try it.
27
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,166
Eh, it's not bad.
28
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,377
Try the cauliflower, it acts like a ladle.
29
00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,124
Whoa, Sammy.
30
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,251
I see her.
31
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,753
How do you do that?
32
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,047
I could tell you,
but then I'd have to kill you.
33
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,342
Excuse me, excuse me.
34
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,468
Come over here for a second.
35
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:58,512
I want to pour you
a glass of champagne.
36
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:01,306
Interesting thing about this bottle,
it was presented to me
37
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:04,976
for being the hottest
single guy in Boston.
38
00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:07,479
But until you walked
through that door,
39
00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,940
I've never found anyone
I wanted to share it with.
40
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,776
I don't drink champagne. Thanks.
41
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,199
- What just happened here, guys?
- Well, you got shot down, Sam.
42
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,535
You read about those kind of things,
43
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,412
but you never think
they're going to happen to you.
44
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,913
It's amazing.
45
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,915
Maybe she's seeing someone else.
46
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:28,917
I don't see how that's relevant.
47
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,795
You know, Sammy,
maybe she's one of these women
48
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,381
who coaches basketball
and does her own carpentry,
49
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,465
if you know what I mean.
50
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,843
Let's go with that,
shall we, gentlemen?
51
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:40,804
Afternoon, all.
52
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,848
Hey, how's it going, Dr. Crane?
53
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:46,143
Oh, the usual, the crying,
the tantrums, the bed-wetting.
54
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:49,396
- Yeah. That's fatherhood.
- No. That's my therapy group.
55
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,899
What a bunch of losers.
56
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,111
I'm sorry. I'm a bit stressed today.
57
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,780
Lilith and I have been looking
for a preschool for Frederick.
58
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,325
Tomorrow we've got an interview
with the administrators
59
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,245
of the Magic Hours Learning Center.
60
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,457
I don't get that.
This is your kid, your money.
61
00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:10,375
Why aren't you interviewing them?
62
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,754
The beauty of private education
is that they're able to weed out
63
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,338
the unacceptable lowlifes.
64
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,632
I just pray I'm not one of them.
65
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:21,219
Wait, wait, wait,
wait a second here.
66
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,555
What's the matter
with public school?
67
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,266
I went to public school.
68
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,272
I love you, Cliff.
Don't ever change.
69
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,276
Until I began eating clean,
70
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:41,740
I never realized how good
a nice, dry rice cake could taste.
71
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,744
How can you eat those?
They don't have any flavor.
72
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:47,871
If I eat these, I will live longer.
73
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,207
I have a question.
74
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,209
You're always talking about
how you hate your life.
75
00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,878
- How come you want to make it longer?
- Shut up, Woody.
76
00:04:58,924 --> 00:04:59,966
Hello, Frasier.
77
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:02,677
Darling.
78
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,013
What's wrong?
You look so somber.
79
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,431
How can you tell?
80
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:08,975
I took a shot and got lucky.
81
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,732
Frasier, I have some bad news.
82
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:21,738
This morning, at 9:00,
Whitey passed away.
83
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,324
Oh, Lilith. I'm so sorry.
84
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:27,285
Just yesterday,
he was so young, so vital.
85
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,705
This morning, I walked into the lab
and found him face-down
86
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,624
in his nest of cedar shavings.
87
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,752
- Excuse me?
- You see...
88
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,297
Whitey was Lilith's senior
and most-cherished lab rat.
89
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,883
Oh, for crying out loud.
90
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,636
No. You don't understand.
91
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,763
Usually we don't
get attached to the rats,
92
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:50,475
but this one was so special.
We even named him.
93
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:52,686
Everyone in the lab
called him Whitey.
94
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,021
Are you sure
they weren't talking to you?
95
00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:01,111
No, Carla. They were talking
about Whitey the rat.
96
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:02,362
Okay. I'll ask again,
97
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,698
are you sure
they weren't talking to you?
98
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,741
Carla, please.
99
00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,869
Lilith is mourning
the loss of a close friend.
100
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,581
Big deal. Go find another rat
to hook up to your electrodes.
101
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:16,793
My research never harmed
Whitey in any way.
102
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:19,671
In fact, he had everything
a rat could want.
103
00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:22,257
If he needed it, I gave it to him.
104
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:25,552
That rat was the envy of others.
105
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,304
That's true, but I got over it.
106
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,350
I miss him so much.
107
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,148
Let it out, darling.
108
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:39,774
I am.
109
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,947
Here she comes.
110
00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:48,366
I'm psyched this time. I'm psyched.
111
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,995
Hi. Listen, excuse me
for just a second.
112
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,413
I didn't mean to imply
113
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,290
that I was gonna give you champagne
to get you drunk.
114
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:57,584
I just wanted to get to know you.
115
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,170
You'd have to get me drunk for that.
116
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,051
First that other girl.
Now her twin sister.
117
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,471
I don't know
what she's looking for in life,
118
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,933
but if she can't find it here,
she's not gonna find it anywhere.
119
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,561
- Paul. You ready?
- Yeah. Let's go.
120
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,315
Paul?
121
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,110
See you later, guys. Don't wait up.
122
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,327
This isn't really happening. No, no.
123
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:36,581
In a few seconds, I'm gonna wake up
in my own bed, covered in sweat.
124
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,046
Okay. Here we go.
125
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,048
Oh, this is going
to be a long one.
126
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,430
I feel great.
127
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,516
I've been eating clean
for 12 hours now.
128
00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,059
I feel like I have
a whole new body.
129
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,478
I have more energy,
and I just feel better.
130
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,271
I'm a celebration of life.
131
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,898
Boy, I'll say, Rebecca,
132
00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:05,110
and what goes better
with a celebration than Ho Hos?
133
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:10,198
Well, no, I can't think
of anything except maybe...
134
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,200
...Twinkies.
135
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,911
Gentlemen, I have one word for you...
136
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,454
...Snowballs.
137
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,290
- Snowballs!
- Snowballs!
138
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,793
Snowballs are better
because they're bite size.
139
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,466
See what I mean?
140
00:08:30,218 --> 00:08:31,511
Good evening, all.
141
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,765
Sam, Glenlivet rocks. Two.
142
00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:37,392
How you feeling there, Lilith?
143
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:41,062
- Life goes on, Sam.
- Ah, that's the spirit.
144
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,733
Rather than brood and mourn,
Frasier and I have decided
145
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:47,485
to do something a little bit
more life-affirming.
146
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:50,280
We're going to a theater
and a late dinner.
147
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,907
I think Whitey would approve.
148
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,326
Lilith, your clinic's on the phone.
149
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,620
I think there's an emergency
with one of your patients.
150
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,706
- You can use the phone in my office.
- Thank you.
151
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,207
We've got an 8:00 curtain.
152
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,710
Tell them to take two Thorazine
and call you in the morning.
153
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,590
- That'll be $7.50, Dr. Crane.
- Oh, yes, of course.
154
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:14,471
Oh, jeez, I've only got big bills.
Perhaps Lilith has some change.
155
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:18,516
- Oh, dear God.
- What? What is it?
156
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:20,477
Lilith is carrying
a dead rat in her purse.
157
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:26,691
Why would she be carrying
a dead rat in her purse?
158
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:27,984
Just a wild guess...
159
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,110
A snack?
160
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,992
This is not healthy at all.
161
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,536
My wife has gone
completely around the bend.
162
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,539
Perhaps I rushed her through
the grieving process too quickly.
163
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,666
Oh, the poor woman.
164
00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,211
I dare you to look in the purse.
165
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,255
Dare me? Dare you.
166
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,384
Obviously, I've got to dispose of Whitey
167
00:09:53,551 --> 00:09:56,513
and break this fixation, then deal
with the repercussions as they occur.
168
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,852
Yeah, I looked first.
169
00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:04,521
I bet you won't kiss him.
170
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:05,980
You two are sick!
171
00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:08,191
Oh, yeah, we've got a big problem.
172
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,320
Obviously, Lilith is having trouble
173
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:13,530
breaking this attachment on her own.
174
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:16,616
I've got to be the man
and handle this in a mature fashion.
175
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,962
- Is everything all right?
- Yes. It was a false alarm.
176
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,922
So, nothing was wrong?
177
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,134
No. One of my patients
set off a false alarm,
178
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:37,137
but he's a pyromaniac,
so for him, this is progress.
179
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,890
Oh, Lilith, darling, hello.
I've got your purse.
180
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,810
We don't have time
for drinks really.
181
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,813
The curtain's in 45 minutes.
You know I hate to be late.
182
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,482
Yes, it's one of your
more endearing compulsions.
183
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,819
By the way, there's something
we need to discuss.
184
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,365
You did what?!
185
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,450
Darling, I did what I had to do.
186
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,202
Shut up. Where is he?
187
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:14,007
Apparently, she's still grieving.
188
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:27,854
Well, 26 hours of eating clean.
189
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,898
And 26 hours of hearing about it.
190
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,197
Good morning there.
Did you sleep okay?
191
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,325
Not too well, Sam.
192
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,828
I'd have thought that that couch,
193
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:46,122
after all the acrobatics
you've done on it,
194
00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,582
would have a little more give.
195
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,546
- I appreciate your hospitality.
- Any time.
196
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,591
I guess I ought to freshen up, huh?
197
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:58,051
Jesus, this is what it's come to...
198
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,385
Bedding down in a bar,
199
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,554
wearing the same clothes
for two days in a row.
200
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,058
The trick, Fras, is to take
your sport coat off like that
201
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,310
and stand directly
under the air conditioning duct
202
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,770
for about ten minutes.
203
00:12:09,604 --> 00:12:11,940
Take it from me. If you do that,
you can go another couple days easy.
204
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:15,652
Are you saying that you sometimes
205
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:18,363
go for days at a time
in the same clothes?
206
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,156
You get a look
that works for you,
207
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,449
you stick with it.
208
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,665
Oh, Paul.
209
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,336
Why is she laughing?
210
00:12:35,129 --> 00:12:36,089
Paul's not funny.
211
00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:39,509
Does anyone know
what Paul does for a living?
212
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,636
After all, women are
attracted to power.
213
00:12:41,803 --> 00:12:43,596
I think he's a toll-booth attendant.
214
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,767
Yeah, well, that would explain
the quarter tips.
215
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,437
I think I know what it is.
216
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,023
Paul's a real nice guy
and a good listener.
217
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,193
He probably shows genuine interest
in who she is as a person.
218
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,320
Probably treats her with respect.
219
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,657
If that's the case,
he's welcome to her.
220
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,162
Well, is there anything here
I can have for breakfast?
221
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:11,332
If you'd like something
that's tasty and nutritious,
222
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:15,044
you could spread
some of this bean curd
223
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,297
on these fiber-rich bran crackers.
224
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,798
I won't eat that crap.
225
00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:20,591
Frasier, you're a doctor.
226
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,302
You should believe
in health and nutrition.
227
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,012
Doesn't mean I have to listen
to some tree-hugging,
228
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:25,471
dirt-munching Druid.
229
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,395
I'm sorry. I'm not exactly
what you'd call a morning person.
230
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,481
Dr. Crane, your wife called.
I didn't want to wake you.
231
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,109
Oh, she called to apologize?
232
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,277
Well, sort of.
233
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,404
She said for you to meet her
at Frederick's school.
234
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,115
- You have that interview.
- Oh, I completely forgot.
235
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,284
She also said to tell you
she knew you'd forget
236
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,328
because you're such
an uncaring human being.
237
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,414
But for once in your life,
think of your child.
238
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:52,999
Comb your few remaining hairs,
239
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,793
and wash that canned ham
you call a face, and get over there.
240
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,715
Hey, now that I reread this,
241
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,009
it sounds less and less
like an apology.
242
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,805
Sammy, can I have
a couple of coffees for me and Paula.
243
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,851
- Paul and Paula.
- Yeah.
244
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:13,644
Hey, Paul.
245
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,563
What?
246
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:17,774
No, the song... Hey, Paul.
247
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,525
Hey, what?
248
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:21,194
No. Wait a minute.
249
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,447
You never heard that old song
Hey, hey, Paul?
250
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,199
Hey, hey. Shut up.
251
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:31,037
No. No, come on, we're talking
about that song from the sixties
252
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:32,205
by Paul and Paula,
253
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,374
- "Hey, hey, Paula."
- What?
254
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:37,627
Nothing. Never mind.
Forget I brought it up.
255
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:43,049
This has been driving me crazy.
I got to know something.
256
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,550
- What, Sam?
- Well...
257
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,511
I'll try to put this
as delicately as I can
258
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:47,762
because you're my friend,
and I like you.
259
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:48,805
I don't want to insult you,
260
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,392
but why would any girl
be caught dead with you
261
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,185
when she could be with me?
262
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,313
You thought that would offend me.
263
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,524
I'm serious.
264
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,443
What did you do,
slip her a mickey or something?
265
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,988
Well, since you asked me
so nicely, Sam, I'll tell you.
266
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,034
Paula's what we like to refer to
as a chubby-chaser.
267
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,245
You're kidding.
268
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,706
You mean she likes to go out
with guys who are...
269
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,291
Who are...
270
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:20,378
Portly, Sam. The word is "portly."
271
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,840
Did you hear that?
272
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,175
She only goes out
with guys who are heavy.
273
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:30,847
Oh, you'd be surprised, Sam.
Women like the oddest things.
274
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:32,974
- Take me.
- Yeah? What do you like?
275
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,893
Nothing. Just take me.
276
00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:44,485
This is driving me crazy. I gotta find...
277
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:45,862
Excuse me. Listen,
278
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,406
apparently you've been,
you know, shooting me down here
279
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,992
for the last couple of days
because of the way I look.
280
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:51,993
So?
281
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,411
I think it's unfair
282
00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:55,204
that you're not willing
to get to know the real me.
283
00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,248
I think if you did
we could be really good friends.
284
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,250
You want to be friends?
285
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,751
Yeah, I do.
286
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,171
Okay, well, maybe we could start
287
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,423
by you introducing me
to some of your friends,
288
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:10,219
especially that large
and lovely one right over there.
289
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,608
You mean Norm?
290
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:26,611
Yeah. He's a suitful, isn't he?
291
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,286
Oh, thank God.
292
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:37,038
I didn't miss the interview, did I?
293
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,290
Yes, you did. I've already had it.
294
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:41,459
They're outside
conferring about us now.
295
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,587
What did you tell them about me?
296
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,132
I described you in terms
which were positively glowing,
297
00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,301
which is the way
I'd like to see you in hell.
298
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,388
So just remember,
when they come back in
299
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,140
to pretend that we love each other.
300
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,601
After that, I go right back
to loathing you.
301
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,938
I can't believe that you're willing
to destroy our marriage
302
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,941
all because of your childish refusal
to accept the death of an animal.
303
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:08,528
The very fact that you think
of Whitey as an animal
304
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,197
proves that we are
completely incompatible.
305
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,032
But he was an animal!
306
00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:17,078
What... what was he,
a vegetable, a mineral?
307
00:17:17,245 --> 00:17:20,748
Oh, I know. He was the CEO
of General Motors.
308
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,835
- I hate you.
- I hate you!
309
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,295
- Hello.
- Hello.
310
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,258
This is my husband,
Dr. Frasier Crane.
311
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,717
He's very sorry he's late,
312
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,761
but he's always
so busy helping people.
313
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,263
Pleased to meet you.
314
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,098
Won't you sit down?
315
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,976
We'd like to thank you
for taking the time
316
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,519
to come down here.
317
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:44,605
It's good to see parents
that care so much.
318
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,149
You know, a program like ours
319
00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:50,695
requires as much
of the parents as the child.
320
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,863
We couldn't agree more. Right, dear?
321
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,532
Oh, absolutely, dear.
322
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,159
Unofficially, I think it's
a very good possibility
323
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,661
that we'll be able
to welcome Frederick
324
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,413
to the Magic Hours Learning Center.
325
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,707
Oh, that's wonderful news.
326
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:04,041
We couldn't be happier.
327
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,085
But before you leave,
328
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:08,588
would you like to see
something precious?
329
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:12,091
Our Sylvia just had babies.
330
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,260
Who's Sylvia?
331
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,179
The school's pet hamster.
332
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,688
Oh, look at that
little one in the corner.
333
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:27,648
He looks just like Whitey.
334
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:28,899
Who's Whitey?
335
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,652
Oh, he was my favorite dead rat
336
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:35,364
that this bastard took
and threw in the trash!
337
00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:39,744
Don't mind her.
She's just overemotional
338
00:18:39,910 --> 00:18:41,078
and crazy as a loon!
339
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,246
I supposed you'd like
340
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,790
to take one of these
and throw it in the garbage, too.
341
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:49,003
Why don't you just bite the heads
off these birds while you're at it,
342
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:50,129
Dr. Death?
343
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:54,925
I am not the one
who goes walking around
344
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,470
with a decomposing
corpse of a rat in my purse!
345
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,472
You are a hateful man.
346
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,600
And you are a troubled,
disturbed woman!
347
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,102
But a wonderful mother.
348
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,026
Well, we'll get back to you.
349
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,908
Well, Sam, I've done it.
350
00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:22,536
Blighted my child's hopes
of ever getting an education.
351
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:26,123
Probably ruined my marriage as well.
352
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,959
I think my life is over.
353
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,378
Yeah, well, life's tough.
354
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:33,506
I just got shot down by a chick
who likes fat guys.
355
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,596
Oh, Rebecca, do you have
any more of those rice cakes?
356
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,057
- Why?
- You were right.
357
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:46,018
- They're the perfect food.
- Yeah. What's the gag?
358
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,979
No, I'm telling you, we've been
enjoying them all day, right?
359
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,107
- Really?
- Yeah.
360
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,776
That's neat. I'm glad
I could make you guys feel better.
361
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,195
Yeah, I got a whole new bag
of them right down here.
362
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,196
Great.
363
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,073
You guys are gonna feel
so much healthier
364
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,491
when you eat like this.
I'm not kidding.
365
00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,702
You'll have a lot more energy,
your bodies will feel lighter,
366
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:04,245
your reflexes will be sharper...
367
00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:06,664
Oh, our reflexes
are already much sharper.
368
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,249
Carla, pull!
369
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,419
Pull!
370
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,258
Frasier?
371
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:23,931
Frasier, I owe you an apology.
372
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,475
I haven't been myself
the past couple of days.
373
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,687
No, darling. I trivialized your grief.
374
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:32,231
A husband should be supportive, but...
375
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,859
Please, help me.
376
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:37,153
Help me. Meet me halfway.
377
00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,197
Why were you carrying
a moribund rodent
378
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:41,282
in your evening bag?
379
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,035
I wasn't going
to take him on our date,
380
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,787
but I knew if left him at the lab,
381
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,290
they'd have given him
to the undergraduates to dissect.
382
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,333
I couldn't let that happen to Whitey.
383
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,544
I just wanted to give him
a decent burial.
384
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,421
I'm... I'm so sorry.
385
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,839
How could I have been so insensitive?
386
00:20:57,006 --> 00:21:01,010
Of course, I overreacted,
but I think I know why.
387
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,596
I was confronted for the first time
388
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:05,556
with the death
of someone close to me.
389
00:21:05,723 --> 00:21:07,308
I understand, dear.
390
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:09,351
That's what we call a crisis.
391
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:11,729
I know what we call it, Frasier.
392
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,942
The upshot is, I've never been
more acutely aware
393
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,945
of how precious and fragile
life is for each of us.
394
00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:24,617
Darling, I think everyone would agree
that existence is tenuous at best.
395
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,953
Therefore, all we can do
is embrace life,
396
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,706
and you and I, we're so fortunate.
397
00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:34,251
We... we have a baby,
the very symbol of life reborn.
398
00:21:35,252 --> 00:21:38,589
Frasier, he's no longer a baby.
He'll be going to school in September.
399
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:41,884
Yes, if we can successfully negotiate
a preschool interview
400
00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:45,012
without slipping into a scene
from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.
401
00:21:46,222 --> 00:21:48,557
But, darling, you're right.
402
00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:50,935
Frederick is getting older.
403
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:55,272
You know, there is a way
we could renew ourselves yet again.
404
00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,358
How would we do that?
405
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,652
We could have another child.
406
00:22:01,278 --> 00:22:04,949
We could, couldn't we?
That's a wonderful idea.
407
00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:07,785
Oh, Frasier, suddenly
I'm filled with a glow.
408
00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:09,245
Let's start right now.
409
00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:12,748
It's all so strange.
410
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,168
A seemingly insignificant
creature lives and dies...
411
00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,672
My marriage is threatened.
412
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,508
My child's education
is almost destroyed.
413
00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,761
Yet, somehow, some way...
414
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:29,014
I'm gettin' some action out of it.