1 00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,463 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:06,298 Hey, guys, mail's in. 3 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,675 All right. Let's see. 4 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,135 Mr. Peterson, 5 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:11,887 Mr. Peterson, 6 00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,056 Mr. Peterson... 7 00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,391 Occupant... 8 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:18,977 Mr. Peterson, 9 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,729 Mr. Boyd. 10 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:21,813 Oh, hey, that's me. 11 00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,942 Oh, yeah. I ordered this weeks ago. 12 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,819 This is a whole big book of crossword puzzles. 13 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,238 All right, let's check them out. 14 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:31,698 This is great because it has all the answers in the back, 15 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,326 so we don't have to worry about all those confusing clues. 16 00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,870 - All rightie. - All right. 17 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,498 One across. Penguin. 18 00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:40,707 Okay. 19 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,586 Hey, it fit! 20 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,046 All right. Hey. 21 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,757 These are great once you get the hang of them. 22 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,433 Hey, Miss Howe. You look nice. What's the occasion? 23 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,894 Well, I just signed up with an executive placement agency, 24 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,522 and I have all sorts of interviews lined up this afternoon. 25 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:47,482 I feel really great about it. 26 00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:51,028 I'm finally gonna get myself out of this brain-dead mausoleum. 27 00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:53,822 Oh, no offense, guys. 28 00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,120 - Well, I'm off. - Good luck, Miss Howe. 29 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,539 Thanks but I don't need it. I'm wearing my lucky dress. 30 00:02:02,706 --> 00:02:03,624 I can't lose. 31 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,752 Hi, Sam. I'm off to get a job. Nothing can stop me now. 32 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:08,587 - In that? - Who am I fooling? 33 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,756 They're not gonna hire a loser like me. 34 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,178 Hey, I just saw the neatest little present 35 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:17,304 in this kids' shop. 36 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:18,930 Look at this. 37 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,767 Does this say little Freddy Crane or what? 38 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,311 "Babe hound in training." 39 00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:27,898 Afternoon, all. 40 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,651 Hey, it's Dr. Crane and Dr. Sternin-Crane 41 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,488 and little Frederick Crane-Sternin-Crane-Crane. 42 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,074 What can I get you? 43 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,992 I know I could use a glass of water. 44 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,287 Hey. It's my best pal. 45 00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:43,955 Well, hello to you, too, Sam. 46 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,207 Oh, hey, Frase. 47 00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,918 Hi there. 48 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:49,378 Gimme five. 49 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:50,545 Pow! 50 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,090 So what are you guys doing here? 51 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,301 Someone got a little thirsty while we were playing in the park. 52 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,220 So he needs some juice? 53 00:02:58,387 --> 00:02:59,721 You said it. Scotch on the rocks. 54 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,265 I'm joking. 55 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,311 No, Sam. Just a little apple juice and a couple of ginger ales, and... 56 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,611 - We're having quality family time. - That's right. 57 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,239 I canceled every single one of my appointments today. 58 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,116 And I called in sick to the lab. 59 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,702 I placed some gauze over the telephone 60 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,705 and altered my voice so as to appear ill. 61 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,707 And the Oscar goes to... 62 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:30,752 Here we are, dear. 63 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:34,798 So we decided to have a lovely afternoon with a picnic, 64 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,800 and now we're off to go fly a kite. 65 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,552 I noticed it was windy, too. 66 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,929 I went out and got little Frederick this kite. 67 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:42,389 What do you think? 68 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:46,768 I got an idea. Why don't we go try these babies? 69 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,687 I'll be right back. I'm going to get my jacket. 70 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,355 Sam is tagging along? 71 00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,691 We need some time to ourselves. 72 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,943 Well, you know, darling, it is Sam. 73 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,072 Frasier, am I going to have to play bad cop? 74 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,075 Now let me understand. 75 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,036 Are you saying that up until this point, 76 00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,496 you've been playing good cop? 77 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,545 I got an idea. We can tie your little kite to this. 78 00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:14,963 It'll make a great tail. 79 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,848 Coming! I'm coming. 80 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,562 - Oh, it's you. - Yeah, hi. Hi, Lilith. 81 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,732 Hey, look at you. You got hair like a woman. 82 00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:38,737 I'm here to watch Huckleberry Hound. 83 00:04:39,488 --> 00:04:41,531 At 5:53 a.m.? 84 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,241 Yeah. Yesterday me and Freddy 85 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,910 decided we were going to watch some cartoons. 86 00:04:45,494 --> 00:04:47,788 Who decided? The child can barely speak. 87 00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,956 Well, he can nod. Hey, Frasier. 88 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,709 Hey, Freddy, we're going to watch the cartoons. 89 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,803 That wasn't Sam Malone, was it? 90 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,598 Please tell me that was an armed intruder. 91 00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,768 It was Sam. Frasier, you've got to do something. 92 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,895 Every day he gets here a little earlier, 93 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,605 and every night he leaves a little later. 94 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,649 Well, darling, he is a friend of ours. 95 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,193 It's getting so we can't make love in the morning. 96 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,279 I didn't know we could make love in the morning. 97 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:26,868 We can't. It was just a "for instance." 98 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,706 The point is I don't like people seeing me in my nightgown. 99 00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,750 It undermines my authority. 100 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,127 I really wouldn't worry about that, dear. 101 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,507 Frasier, do something. 102 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,759 Well, my love, let's... 103 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:47,806 Let's try to use some insight into what Sam's going through. 104 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:50,851 His affection for Frederick is... 105 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,645 ...is not unusual, under the circumstances. 106 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:57,524 After all, he's an aging playboy who is just now coming to realize 107 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:02,821 that he has nothing and that he's got no progeny left 108 00:06:02,988 --> 00:06:04,614 to carry on his name. 109 00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:07,492 That is a frightening revelation for any man. 110 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:11,830 - Frasier, it's 5:55 in the morning. - The heave-ho. 111 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,711 Sam, could you come down here, please? 112 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,840 Oh. Good timing. Commercial's on. 113 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,259 Sam, there's something we have to ask you. 114 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,553 Good. Cause there's something we have to ask you, too. 115 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,971 What's for breakfast? 116 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,808 He's reacting to the nightgown. 117 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,522 Sam, as much as we adore you 118 00:06:37,689 --> 00:06:40,317 and are happy that you've taken such an interest in Frederick, 119 00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,862 we're just not getting enough private time to ourselves. 120 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:47,032 Oh. Say no more. I understand. You guys want to be alone. 121 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,576 Why don't Freddy and I go over to my apartment? 122 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,036 You can catch up with us later. 123 00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:54,164 No, no, Sam. You misunderstand. We're not saying that we want 124 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,333 to be intimate with each other right now. 125 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,168 God forbid while the sun's out. 126 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,174 No. We're just saying 127 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,217 that we'd like to spend the day with our son, 128 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,802 just the three of us. 129 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,640 Well, shoot. You should have told me sooner. 130 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,892 I mean, I don't want to horn in on you guys. 131 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,727 Tell you what, Freddy, we'll have to watch cartoons 132 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,145 some other time, all right? 133 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,356 Why don't you now go over to your daddy? 134 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,274 There we go. Go to daddy. 135 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:25,987 Go on, Freddy. It's okay. 136 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,198 Oh, fine. 137 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:29,658 Now you see what you've done? 138 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,743 My son likes you better than he likes me. 139 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,080 No. Don't be silly. Come on, go to daddy. 140 00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,665 You'll have fun. He loves you. 141 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,333 Oh. Now you're being sarcastic. 142 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,128 I'm not being sarcastic. Come on. 143 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,922 Go to your daddy. Go on. 144 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,883 Okay. Come on. Go to your other daddy. 145 00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,802 Go to uncle Frasier. 146 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,263 Sam, you have turned my son against me. 147 00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,933 If you two don't mind, I think I'll take our little wishbone 148 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,726 into the kitchen for breakfast. 149 00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,646 Well, this is... 150 00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:02,774 Frase, I'm sorry. 151 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,276 Sam, he's my son! I made him. I get to keep him! 152 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:09,864 Come on, Frase, calm down. 153 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:13,201 This is my house, my child, and my wife who thanks to you 154 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,286 I don't even have time to make love to in the morning! 155 00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:17,247 - I thought you said... - All right, I'm raving! 156 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,006 I'm sorry. It's just... 157 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:27,465 I like your kid. 158 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:28,842 I didn't know I liked kids before. 159 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,469 If you like kids so much, why don't you get one of your own? 160 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,555 Oh, Sam. 161 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,140 Look, I'm sorry. 162 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,599 You know I love you. 163 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,435 I think you're one of the greatest guys in the world. 164 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,354 It's just a little bit early on Saturday morning 165 00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,314 to lose the love of your child. 166 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,610 Now, if you can just excuse me, 167 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:51,364 I'm gonna go try to bond with my son over a bowl of Froot Loops. 168 00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,867 Oh, God, I love Froot Loops. 169 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:56,244 Sorry. Sorry. 170 00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,465 Oh, hey, Miss Howe, how was your interview? 171 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,175 Did it go any better than the others? 172 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,343 Oh, yeah. It was the usual, you know. 173 00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:13,803 I was sitting in the waiting room 174 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,347 and got nervous and had a quick cigarette, 175 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,391 and that was pretty much that. 176 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:32,989 Think you could stop throwing that thing? 177 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,407 Why? It gives me something to do. 178 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,664 We got to talk. 179 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,708 It's ever since I've been hanging around 180 00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,418 with Frasier's kid... 181 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,511 Sammy, you don't expect me to pay for this beer, do you? 182 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:56,387 No. 183 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,555 Good. 184 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:07,690 Come on. What's wrong? 185 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,694 Do you think guys have a biological clock, you know, 186 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,239 like they know when it's time to have a kid? 187 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,449 Oh, yeah. Usually when they say, 188 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,409 "Hey, Carla, you want to go out tonight?" 189 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,329 Come on. What's on your mind? 190 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,540 Well, I've been thinking. 191 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:26,167 You know, I'm not that young anymore. 192 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:29,379 It's not that I'm old. It's just that I'm not young. 193 00:10:29,546 --> 00:10:31,756 I'm not old old. I'm just youngish. 194 00:10:31,923 --> 00:10:33,466 I'm... I'm a youngish man. 195 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,844 Please go on. 196 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,429 Well, I'm thinking about... 197 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,890 I'm thinking about being a dad. 198 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:42,559 What? 199 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,561 Yeah. 200 00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,521 I've been playing around all my life, 201 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,815 and, I don't know, maybe I'm missing something. 202 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,192 Have you thought about getting a dog? 203 00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:53,194 I don't want a dog. 204 00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:58,116 I want someone to be with, to take care of, to watch grow. 205 00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,993 Have you thought about getting a plant? 206 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,122 You don't think I'll be a good father? 207 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:05,582 Oh, no. 208 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:07,542 No. I think you'd be a great father. 209 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,044 So you have a mother picked out? 210 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,463 No. Not really. 211 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,384 Does that mean... You're not going to ask me? 212 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,846 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't think about that. 213 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:20,889 Yeah. Would you? 214 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,348 What are you, nuts? 215 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,145 You think I'm gonna go through labor an eighth time 216 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,147 because you're a little lonely? 217 00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:31,774 Selfish bastard. 218 00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:38,364 You know, it doesn't matter. What the heck. I know a hundred women. 219 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:41,743 What am I talking about? I know thousands of women. 220 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,163 What am I talking about? I know tens of thousands of women. 221 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,748 What am I talking about... 222 00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:51,377 Sammy, now, just think about this for a minute. 223 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,963 Do you really, really want this? 224 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,591 Yeah. I really, really want this. 225 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:58,760 Come on, Sam. 226 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,721 Do you have any idea what it means to have a kid? 227 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:06,559 It's changing dirty diapers and getting spit-up stains 228 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,770 on the shoulders of your best clothes. 229 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,105 Ear infections in the middle of the night 230 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:13,900 and shoving antibiotics down their throats 231 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:17,195 and worrying about them every day and every night 232 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,863 for the rest of your life. 233 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,115 How does that sound? 234 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,243 Sounds cool. 235 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,748 Yeah. It is, kind of. 236 00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,296 Would they, like, really spit up on leather? 237 00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:38,841 Oh, they know fabrics. 238 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,852 So who's going to be the mom, Sam? 239 00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,063 I haven't figured that out yet, Woody, 240 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,774 but she's got to be somewhere in here... 241 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,818 Or here... 242 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,827 What about Miss Howe? She's getting up there like you. 243 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,205 She's probably about ready to have a kid. 244 00:13:09,372 --> 00:13:10,748 She's very responsible. 245 00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:12,875 I think that was my best interview yet. 246 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,585 I think they really were impressed with me 247 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,422 until I accidentally knocked the CEO into the fax machine 248 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,549 and sent a copy of his butt to Wichita. 249 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,429 See, Sam? You could have asked her just now. 250 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,932 Wait a minute. Here you go. 251 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:29,517 Now, this could work out. 252 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,102 What am I doing? What am I going to say? 253 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,229 I have to figure out how to word this. 254 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:34,397 Hold on a second. 255 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:36,858 Excuse me. Miss? 256 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,402 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 257 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,237 Just hypothetically, now, 258 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,323 say someone you've been dating a couple times 259 00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,074 calls you up and says, 260 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:48,911 "Hey, we had some laughs together. What say we have a baby?" 261 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,455 I'm not talking commitment here. 262 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,957 Don't misunderstand me. Maybe yes, maybe no. 263 00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:58,087 Picture is, get pregnant, have the baby, give it to me, go away. 264 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:03,760 You know, just offhand, how would you react to that? 265 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:06,012 How would I react if a guy called me up 266 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,306 and asked me to be a breeder for him? 267 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,768 To be sort of an incubator for his seed? 268 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,188 Yeah. Exactly. But wait a second. Let me... 269 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,483 Let me get a pencil. I want to write this down. 270 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:19,609 Okay. 271 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,990 Okay. "Incubator"... 272 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,620 "Breeder"... 273 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,790 Red flag words. 274 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,045 You know, if it's a boy, 275 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,964 I just hope he names it Clifford Clavin Malone. 276 00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:46,386 I don't care what he names it as long as he doesn't bring it in here. 277 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,763 If there's one thing I can't stand it's babies. 278 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,598 Come on, Mr. Krapitz. 279 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,726 Wouldn't you like a helpless little guy, all soft and cuddly, 280 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,145 who you could burp every once in a while? 281 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,191 Yeah, we need another one of those. 282 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:06,614 Sam. 283 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,076 Listen, Sam, I... 284 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,870 I'd like to apologize about this morning 285 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,330 when I kicked you out. 286 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,332 I... 287 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,376 I forgot how much Freddy means to you 288 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,086 and how much you mean to him. 289 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,756 I also forgot that Lilith and I have two tickets 290 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:25,883 to Jerome Robbins' Broadway tonight, a hundred bucks a throw. 291 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,343 If you think I'm gonna miss that, you're nuts. 292 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,345 Have fun, Freddy. Daddy loves you. 293 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,602 You want me to lock up, Sam? 294 00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,730 No, thanks. I got to wait for Frasier and Lilith. 295 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,357 - Good night. - Good night. 296 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:44,485 Hey, little buddy. 297 00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:46,612 So... 298 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,449 What do you want to watch here, Frederick? 299 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:54,078 - The congress and the administration... - 24-hour news. 300 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:56,289 The city council both turned down... 301 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,832 Headline news. 302 00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,834 Local news. 303 00:16:00,877 --> 00:16:02,753 Aw, hey. Elvis. 304 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,340 Night and you 305 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:11,637 And blue Hawaii 306 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:17,810 Hey, Sam. 307 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,687 - What? - Sam. 308 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:21,898 Who's there? 309 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,275 No, up here, Sam. It's me, Elvis. 310 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:29,614 Elvis? 311 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,991 Yeah, come on over here, man. I don't want to have to shout at you. 312 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,246 I'm having a dream about Elvis. 313 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,585 What do you want with me, Elvis? 314 00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:49,175 I want to tell you something. You're right about wanting a child. 315 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,676 The best thing that ever happened to me 316 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,094 was having Lisa Marie. 317 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,263 Here. Isn't she precious? 318 00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,142 Yeah. And she's a real cutie. 319 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,979 You'd be happy to know, Elvis, she turned out to be a real babe. 320 00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,273 Sam, don't make me come through this TV. 321 00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:08,819 I'm sorry. 322 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,239 This baby's going to need a mama, Sam. 323 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:15,785 Yeah, I know that, Elvis, but I can't think of anybody. 324 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,870 I just think you're overlooking someone. 325 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,331 - Who? - Miss Rebecca Howe. 326 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,793 - Rebecca? - Miss Rebecca. 327 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,422 She's been a true friend, 328 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,841 and you've been through so much together. 329 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,719 There's a lot of love in her heart. She has no one to give it to. 330 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,305 And she's a handsome woman. 331 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,391 Miss Rebecca? Really? 332 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:41,644 Think about it, Sam. I know I'm right. 333 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,230 Now if you'll just excuse me, 334 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,982 I got to go back and frolic on a beach 335 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,483 or jump in a stock car race or something. 336 00:17:47,650 --> 00:17:49,277 I don't know what they got me doing in this one. 337 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,613 Later, Sam. 338 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:00,913 Isn't this sweet? 339 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,791 My son and his baby-sitter passed out in a bar. 340 00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,881 No. It's okay. 341 00:18:11,048 --> 00:18:12,133 Sam. 342 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,637 I've got him, Sam. Thanks. 343 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:17,722 Yeah. 344 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,644 Say, Frasier. 345 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,481 The weirdest thing just happened to me. 346 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,276 I could have sworn 347 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:34,155 I just had a conversation with Elvis Presley. 348 00:18:35,072 --> 00:18:37,658 Well, Sam, I've had four or five patients 349 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,201 that have had the same experience. 350 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:42,288 I'll simply tell you what I told them. 351 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,165 The man is dead. 352 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,599 - Hi, Sam. - Hi. 353 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:03,643 What are you doing back here? 354 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,353 It's my night to lock up. 355 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,939 Besides, it looks like I'll still be working here anyway. 356 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,108 Nobody else wants me. 357 00:19:11,692 --> 00:19:12,735 I'm sorry to hear that. 358 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:16,614 Yeah, well, maybe I've been barking up the wrong tree my whole life... 359 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:18,658 All these big dreams 360 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:22,536 about being a big corporate executive, 361 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,288 having a lot of power, 362 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,749 a lot of control. 363 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:29,919 I don't know why I've been knocking my brains out. 364 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,881 Maybe I should have settled for some dumb, ordinary jerk 365 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:35,508 and raised a family. 366 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:46,977 What? 367 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:48,854 It's just... 368 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:51,774 You know, I've been thinking the same thing, 369 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:55,444 only, you know, I was thinking that you should have a child 370 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,488 with someone who was good-looking 371 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:59,365 and really cool. 372 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,868 Yeah, well, I don't know anybody like that. 373 00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:05,830 What about me? 374 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,206 Why? You know somebody like that? 375 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,376 No. You know, I... 376 00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,169 What I mean is, I was thinking that... 377 00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:15,423 ...you and I should have a baby together. 378 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:20,010 Oh, come on, Sam. 379 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,471 No. Why? Why not? Think about it. 380 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,433 You and I are good friends. Hell, you're my best friend, 381 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,560 and we've been through a lot together. 382 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,772 You have a lot of love to give, and you're a handsome woman. 383 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,529 Well, I'm flattered. 384 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,949 I'm not ready to have a baby, Sam. 385 00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:44,785 I got a lot of things left to do in life. 386 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:45,953 Yeah? Like what? 387 00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,122 - Like a lot. - All right, name one. 388 00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:51,333 Well, I'd always planned on growing old 389 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,960 and, you know, dying alone. 390 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:56,297 You can still do that. 391 00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,174 You don't just, you know... 392 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,218 ...go out and have a baby with somebody. 393 00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:04,513 - Why not? - I don't know why not. 394 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,974 - Then why not? - Why with you? 395 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,185 - Why not? - We... 396 00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:14,106 Why not? 397 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,318 - I mean, we could. - Yeah. 398 00:21:17,485 --> 00:21:21,697 Your mom did it. My mom did. Carla does it all the time. 399 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:27,036 I mean, I... why shouldn't we? 400 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:31,916 Maybe this would be something that I'd finally be good at. 401 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,336 So, will you? 402 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,214 Okay. 403 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:42,051 Let's have a baby. 404 00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:53,270 I think this is gonna change 405 00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:54,814 - my whole life. - Oh, yeah. 406 00:21:55,898 --> 00:22:00,110 I think no more Rebecca the jerk, no more Rebecca the go on ball, 407 00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,737 Rebecca the loser. 408 00:22:02,404 --> 00:22:03,739 Rebecca the mother. 409 00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:06,617 I'm going to have a brand-new human baby. 410 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:11,080 I get to feed her, and I get to hold her. 411 00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,541 I can't wait! 412 00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:15,835 You know, a new life, 413 00:22:16,001 --> 00:22:19,421 a new life that depends completely on me. 414 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,516 Can you believe it? I forgot my coat. 415 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,853 I guess I'm just so excited about this. 416 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,814 I don't know. I'm going to be a mommy! 417 00:22:40,609 --> 00:22:41,902 A mommy! 418 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:47,908 You'd better be right, Elvis.