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00:00:01,710 --> 00:00:04,463
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:05,088 --> 00:00:07,883
Oh, shoot! It's a minus.
I'm not pregnant.
3
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:09,718
Well, we only started trying last night.
4
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:12,054
I guess we can't expect
to get pregnant the first time.
5
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:14,932
I thought that's what the fourth
and fifth times were for.
6
00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:18,101
Fifth time. You imagine that?
7
00:00:18,769 --> 00:00:19,978
I'm only up to three.
8
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,108
I just want to be pregnant now.
9
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:28,904
Rebecca, why don't you approach this
from a scientific point of view?
10
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:32,824
Make a simple plot-point graph
and chart your basal temperature
11
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,952
at a fixed hour each morning.
12
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,162
After a couple of months,
a pattern will emerge,
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00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,790
thereby making
your peak fertility days
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00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,750
absolutely predictable.
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Good idea. Thanks, Lilith.
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Boy. You guys went through all that?
17
00:00:46,338 --> 00:00:48,966
No, we just got ripped
one night and tore one off.
18
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:54,721
Remember that, sugar? Huh?
19
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Look, guys, postcards from Woody.
20
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Cliff...
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Hey, all right.
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Listen to mine.
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"Dear Miss Howe,
I'm having a great time on vacation.
24
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,768
I miss everyone there,
25
00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,978
but I miss you most of all.
Love, Woody."
26
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:26,480
What does your say, Sam?
27
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,066
"Dear Sam, I'm having
a great time on vacation.
28
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,902
I miss everyone there,
but I miss you most of all.
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00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:35,656
Love, Woody."
30
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,115
"Having a great time on vacation.
I miss everyone there,
31
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,242
but I miss you most of all.
Love, Woody."
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00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:41,953
Cliff ie?
33
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,080
Well, "Dear Mr. Clavin,
34
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:45,207
I'm having a great time on vacation.
35
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:46,291
Love, Woody."
36
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,050
Hey, Frasier, Lilith.
What will you have?
37
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,929
A scotch, Sam, and whatever
my Neanderthal husband will have.
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00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,514
You two fighting?
39
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,392
No, on the contrary, Sam.
I insist that she call me that.
40
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:09,022
Frasier's been captivated
by a new theory of masculinity
41
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:13,735
which suggests within each man
is a hidden primal beast softened
42
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:16,530
by years of civilization and sensitivity.
43
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,865
He saw it on Sally Jessy.
44
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:23,245
Yes, and they've got
a really cool name for this beast.
45
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,747
It's called the "inner Hairy Man."
46
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,459
Or in your case, dear,
"The Receding Hairy Man."
47
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,129
She thinks it's all very childish.
48
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,630
No, I don't.
49
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,466
Oh, tell your little friends
all about your big field trip.
50
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,719
Primal journey, Lilith.
51
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,138
You see, I'm just gonna get
into my car and go...
52
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,140
...out on the open road.
53
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,433
I'm taking a week off,
54
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,060
I'm gonna get in touch
with my hidden beast.
55
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,937
Ah! Good luck!
56
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,982
Thanks, Sam. You know, actually,
I was going to invite you to join me.
57
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:54,109
You see, I get a little nervous
when I drive at night.
58
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,406
Oh, yeah, that would be nice,
but Woody's on vacation, you know.
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00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:02,993
Oh, well, that's okay, Sammy.
I can get my nephew Frankie to help out.
60
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,120
He's a good kid.
Real sweet, Frankie.
61
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:07,706
Of course, he's never
been in a bar, but...
62
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,207
He'll be okay.
63
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,459
Oh, I don't know about this.
64
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,502
You know, this is
my livelihood, my business.
65
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:13,879
I don't wanna just
turn it over to someone
66
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:14,880
because they're family.
67
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:17,007
He'll work for minimum wage.
68
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,552
- I'm in!
- Great! Great!
69
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,846
Hey, this is great.
So, where are we gonna go?
70
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:24,097
Desert, mountains?
71
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,349
Well, actually, Sam,
the location doesn't really matter.
72
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:29,186
This is more of a spiritual journey,
73
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:30,562
an heroic...
74
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,189
...quest.
75
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:35,734
You know, if we drive to California,
we can go see Disneyland.
76
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,404
Perhaps you could
find your manhood
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00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,781
on the giant teacups.
78
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,327
Yeah. A road trip to Disneyland.
79
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:46,787
Sounds fun.
80
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,622
You want to join us, Norm?
81
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,666
Well, I don't know.
82
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,794
I'm sure you two gentlemen
have something to do.
83
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:54,920
Oh, no problemo.
84
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,630
I've got a couple of weeks
vacation coming up.
85
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:57,631
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
86
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,466
My supervisor reminds me daily.
87
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,846
Well, Cliff, I don't know
if my car is big enough.
88
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,848
Oh, let's take my wagon.
What do you say, Norm? Huh?
89
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,642
The four of us tooling
down old mother road
90
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,186
getting in touch with the old
hairy man-mobile, huh?
91
00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:12,521
I don't know.
I don't think I could handle
92
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,356
sitting still for six hours a day.
93
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,653
Yeah, well, it would be more like ten.
94
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,029
Oh. Then I'm in.
95
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,825
Well, I'll never forget
when I was 19,
96
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,326
Buck, my best friend,
97
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,953
he was a teammate
of mine in the minors,
98
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:31,164
he and I hitchhiked
all across route 66.
99
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,332
Boy, best time of my life.
100
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,458
Eh? Do they still have the place
101
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:34,960
where the Cadillacs
are sticking up out of the ground?
102
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,629
Oh, yeah. Cadillac Ranch
in Merrimac Caverns.
103
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,172
- All right.
- Yeah, once lost
104
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,174
a Hopalong Cassidy watch
there when I was ten.
105
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,134
Yeah, it just slipped
right off my wrist.
106
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,511
Yeah, you wouldn't believe it,
107
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:47,222
but as a youth,
I had very fine-boned wrists.
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I can't tell you how many people
mistook me for royalty.
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Yeah, it's true.
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Oh, what the hell,
we'll make it a group thing.
111
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All of us will get out
and try to get in touch
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00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:58,441
with our tribal instincts.
113
00:05:58,608 --> 00:05:59,484
- There you go.
- All right.
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00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:01,236
Oh, give me strength.
115
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,822
Oh, come on, Lilith,
be happy for us.
116
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We're all dropping our inhibitions.
117
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,034
We're gonna go out and find
our manhood on the open road.
118
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,579
- Yeah, like men!
- Yeah, like men we be!
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00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:12,539
Like those chicks
in Thelma and Louise.
120
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,174
Cause I'm the wanderer
121
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,093
Yeah, the wanderer...
122
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:27,304
Whoa, whoa, what happened here?
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00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,723
Aw, the eight track's
acting up again there, Sammy.
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Grab the butter knife
out of the glove compartment, will ya?
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00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,606
- Yeah. Here we are.
- There you go.
126
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,774
Well, at least we still got
the AM radio.
127
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:42,277
So, how far have we gone?
128
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,654
Oh, about 100 miles.
129
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:48,742
- Oh, it's minus 38.
- Why minus 38?
130
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,453
My trip meter only sets back to 38.
131
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,499
Well, let's see.
What's 100 minus 38?
132
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,128
Why don't we just
drive 38 more miles?
133
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Then we'll know we've hit 100.
134
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,382
Hey...
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00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,010
I didn't know
you were good at math.
136
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,262
Yeah, well, you know,
I used to be an accountant.
137
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:12,849
What are you reading there, Fras?
138
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,936
Oh, it's called Iron John.
139
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:20,148
It's a best-seller about getting in touch
with one's masculinity.
140
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,735
So, you're actually going
to try to read in a moving car.
141
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,195
Doesn't that make you sick?
142
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No.
143
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:29,240
I always get sick
when I read in a car.
144
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,035
The car bounces around,
145
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:35,205
your eyes try to follow
the words there and...
146
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,123
You smell the gas fumes.
147
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,210
Pretty soon you start sweating
and gasping for breath.
148
00:07:41,336 --> 00:07:42,879
- What's the problem?
- I'm sick.
149
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,799
You know, I'll bet
it's from reading in the car.
150
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:47,550
I tell you.
151
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:09,072
- What?
- I didn't say anything.
152
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,324
Yeah, but you were thinking something.
153
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,701
- No, I wasn't.
- Yes.
154
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,995
You think I have the hots
for Carla's nephew.
155
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,162
I didn't say that.
156
00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:18,289
- Cause I do.
- No kidding.
157
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,875
Oh, like you don't?
158
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,670
You've only been sitting there
for the last four days staring at him.
159
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:25,630
And it's worse with you
because you're married.
160
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,798
That's slutty.
161
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,803
And what about you?
You're ogling him and meanwhile,
162
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,723
you're trying to conceive
a child with another man.
163
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,267
Yes, but he is not my husband,
so that does not make me a slut.
164
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It's perfectly natural.
165
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,607
One can be married
and still be drawn
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00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,192
to the odd magnificent butt.
167
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,028
For once I'm with you, Doc.
168
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,612
I agree, but...
169
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,698
You know what I really
notice in a guy?
170
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,783
- His eyes.
- Yeah.
171
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,453
But that magnificent
butt thing is right up there.
172
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,289
Yeah, well, this guy has both.
173
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,999
And talk about biceps.
174
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,918
You're getting me hot.
Who are we talking about here?
175
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,171
Your nephew, Frankie.
176
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,260
That is so sick.
177
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,555
Carla, surely as a woman
178
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,974
you can see how your nephew
might be considered...
179
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,809
...desirable?
180
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:23,813
Sure. You start thinking like that
and you end up with Woody's family.
181
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,236
Just look at you two.
182
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:32,739
You're acting like a couple
of construction workers.
183
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:35,950
Carla's right, Lilith.
184
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,410
I mean, we're treating men
185
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,954
just the way we hate
to be treated by them.
186
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:44,918
I dropped my purse.
187
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,086
I'll get it for you.
188
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:50,590
Here you go.
189
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:51,674
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
190
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,060
- Thank you again.
- You're welcome.
191
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:17,617
Okay, I got one.
192
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,911
When was the last time
you guys cried, huh?
193
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,538
Cliff ie?
194
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:24,707
I guess, it's probably my junior prom.
195
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,378
Oh, no, no, no.
Cliff ie, this is not that story
196
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,672
where you got stood up
and you had to take your ma
197
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,632
and everyone laughed at you
and pantsed you, is it?
198
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,677
No, no, I said junior prom.
199
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,476
Yeah, you see,
ma was putting on a boutonniere,
200
00:10:44,018 --> 00:10:46,729
and the pin stuck me in the chest.
I got a staph infection.
201
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,899
How about you, Fras?
202
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:55,155
Well, the day we left for this trip,
my son gave me a picture.
203
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,656
And you cried?
204
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:59,117
I cried because it was so beautiful.
205
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,371
Good luck finding that hairy man.
206
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:12,088
Well, at least I can get pricked
by a pin and not almost die.
207
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,757
How about you, Norm?
208
00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,886
Well, there was one time...
209
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,305
We thought Vera was pregnant, and...
210
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,933
...then it turns out she wasn't.
211
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,685
I'm sorry, Norm.
212
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,104
You never told me that, buddy.
213
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,315
Well, it turns out she was lying.
214
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,026
She didn't tell me
until after the wedding.
215
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,531
I must've cried for a week.
216
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,367
How about you, Sam?
217
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:46,039
Oh! You guys should see him.
He's sleeping like a little baby.
218
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,373
Aw, he's so cute.
219
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,680
What seems to be the trouble, Sam?
220
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:07,727
Well, I know a bit about engines
and seems like what we got here is...
221
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,771
...a burned piece of meat.
222
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,400
Yeah. How's my hobo steak coming?
223
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:20,073
Oh, yeah. Well, I threw that
on the engine back in Lukachukai.
224
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,034
At the risk of hearing your answer,
225
00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:25,286
Cliff, why would you do
something so stupid?
226
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,872
Well, you cook in there.
227
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,457
You see, you put
your food on the engine,
228
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:31,542
and you can drive
and cook at the same time.
229
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,002
Oh, hey.
230
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:35,296
Looks like the vegetable kebabs
are about done.
231
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:42,720
What do you think?
They're a little bit too crisp, huh?
232
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:48,059
Well, let's get back in the car
and go find a motel, eh?
233
00:12:48,226 --> 00:12:50,395
Hey, Cliff ie, I can't turn the key here.
234
00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,273
Well, yeah, it's got
a security device on it there, Sam.
235
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,442
Yeah, what I do is turn the wheel
all the way to the left
236
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,695
and then crank the key
as hard as I can.
237
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,698
Oh, man!
238
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:04,200
Look at that. I just broke
the key off in the ignition.
239
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:08,079
I said "as hard as I can," Sammy.
240
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,210
That's just great.
What are we gonna do now?
241
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:17,088
Looks like I'm gonna have
to hot-wire the car here.
242
00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:18,715
Hey, what am I thinking about?
243
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:20,341
I've had my cellular phone
the whole time.
244
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:23,511
- We can just call for help.
- No, come on, come on, come on.
245
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:27,265
Frasier, where's your hairy man?
We can save ourselves here.
246
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,643
Yeah. Hot-wiring's easy.
247
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:33,563
Buck showed me how to do it
on our trip across the states.
248
00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:36,399
God, that guy was a whiz
with anything mechanical.
249
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,775
Here you go. All you got to do
250
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:40,653
is take these two wires here
and connect them...
251
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,538
You okay there, Sammy?
252
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:51,706
Diane?
253
00:13:58,046 --> 00:13:59,088
Yeah, well, you know what?
254
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:02,133
Your friend Buck didn't reckon
on there, Sammy,
255
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,511
was that Cliff Clavin
has an anti-theft device.
256
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,348
Yeah, you see, old mister car thief
gets the shock of his life,
257
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:13,061
the doors automatically lock shut,
and the alarm goes off.
258
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,729
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
259
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:16,856
The doors lock automatically?
260
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,900
Yeah, but the alarm's
supposed to be going off.
261
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,903
You know, it must be on the fritz.
Our ears should be ringing by now.
262
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:23,988
Oh, I'll just have to do it manually.
263
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:26,491
You locked us out of the car!
264
00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:33,373
My phone!
265
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,624
My phone is ringing!
266
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,000
All right.
267
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:38,294
And the doors are locked!
268
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,380
- Well, break the damn window.
- Are you kidding me?
269
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,756
Do you know how much
those windows cost?
270
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,591
We don't have time
to argue here, Cliff.
271
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:46,552
You're not breaking those windows.
You just try it, young man!
272
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,221
You're gonna have
to come through me.
273
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,682
You're going to pay for that,
I hope you know.
274
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,395
Hello. Hello?
275
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,729
If it's Vera, I'm not here.
276
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:01,317
Yes, this is Frasier Crane.
277
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:02,944
Oh, thank God somebody called.
278
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,737
The batteries are getting sort of low.
279
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,406
Look, I don't have much time.
280
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,407
Excuse me?
281
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,992
Yes, I understand
the democratic party's in trouble
282
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:12,412
and I'd love to contribute,
but I'm in trouble myself right now.
283
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:16,624
Oh, damn!
The batteries are dead.
284
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:19,752
All right. Okay.
Let's take it easy, Fras.
285
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,712
Nobody panic. We'll be all right.
286
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:22,839
Great.
287
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,717
We're lost. We can't start the car.
288
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:27,885
Way to go, Sam.
289
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:30,179
Oh, now, wait a minute.
Don't blame me, you know.
290
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:33,599
It's Cliff's fault for wanting
to see America like the pioneers.
291
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:36,644
We should have stayed
on the main road.
292
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:38,688
Would Charles Kuralt
stay on the main road?
293
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:41,441
Look, I'm not the one
that fell asleep at the wheel.
294
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,234
Yeah, I wouldn't have
fallen asleep at the wheel
295
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:44,735
if you hadn't given me
that extra shift.
296
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:48,281
- Well, we were behind schedule.
-Yes, I believe that was your fault
297
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:51,075
for getting your fat butt
lodged in that cavern.
298
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,454
Well, I was looking
for my Hopalong Cassidy watch!
299
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:55,788
Do you mind?
300
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,665
Aw, come on, you guys.
301
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:59,750
Can we stop arguing
for, like, ten seconds here?
302
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,128
Geez, Buck and I went
across the entire United States
303
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,005
- and we didn't argue once.
- You know, frankly, Sam,
304
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,008
I'm getting a little tired
of hearing about Saint Buck.
305
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:10,344
If he was so wonderful,
306
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,846
how come none of us
has ever met him?
307
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:13,806
Because ever since he got
into the Hall of Fame,
308
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,142
he won't return my phone calls,
so I have to hang around
309
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,436
with a bunch of losers
in a stupid bar!
310
00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,897
Does that answer your question,
Mr. Hairy Man?
311
00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:28,154
Oh, I'm sorry, guys.
I didn't mean anything by that.
312
00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:30,364
It's just that, well...
313
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,408
He asked the question.
314
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,207
You know, I hate
to bring this up, but...
315
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:43,294
We could really be in some...
some serious trouble here.
316
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:46,339
Oh, come on, man.
Hey, listen, at least we...
317
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,049
We got each other here, right?
318
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,051
I mean, you know,
here we are in the desert,
319
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:51,093
back to nature.
320
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,637
I mean, look at this,
look at this air here.
321
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,263
It's clear, it's fresh.
322
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:56,516
I mean, isn't that why we came
out here in the first place?
323
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:58,809
Look at the stars, guys.
324
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,938
Look at that. Gotta be
a million of them up there.
325
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,315
Kind of makes you feel insignificant, huh?
326
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,360
I don't feel anything.
327
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,829
- Frankie...
- Yeah?
328
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,331
I need you to move
those big boxes
329
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,666
to the other side of the pool room.
330
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,502
Gosh, Miss Howe,
that's the fifth time today.
331
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:26,837
I'm getting kind of sweaty.
332
00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,923
Well then, take off
your shirt, you goose.
333
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:35,221
I could have gone with those guys
on that little road trip, you know.
334
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:36,597
I know.
335
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,641
I just wasn't here
when they decided to go.
336
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,434
So you've said.
337
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,313
They probably tried to call me
and hung up on my machine.
338
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,274
Sometimes it doesn't record the hang-ups.
339
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,738
You're not much
of a conversationalist, are you?
340
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,119
Where is everybody?
341
00:17:58,286 --> 00:17:59,412
Probably New Mexico by now.
342
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:01,706
You know, I could have gone
with them if they'd just left a message.
343
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:07,211
No, I was talking about my nephew
and Rebecca of Hornybrook Farm.
344
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:12,883
They're in the back.
345
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,969
Frankie's helping her
move some boxes.
346
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,721
I'll just bet he is.
347
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:17,930
You know, I'm getting
a little sick of the way
348
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,807
she's throwing herself
all over that guy.
349
00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:21,517
I mean, it's disgusting.
350
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,644
Carla, I've never seen
this side of you.
351
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,272
Yeah, well, you know,
Frankie's sweet.
352
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,691
One day, he's gonna meet
a nice girl and settle down.
353
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:29,692
And in the meantime,
354
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,236
it's my job to keep him away
from sleazy women
355
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:34,071
looking for a quick one-nighter.
356
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:35,906
You mean women like you?
357
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,867
Ironic, huh?
358
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,331
- Ah. Frankie.
- What?
359
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:46,083
I thought I told you
to stay away from Rebecca.
360
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:49,837
Look, the woman is a tramp.
All she wants you for is your body.
361
00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:52,048
Miss Howe? She seems so nice.
362
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,466
Are you kidding?
363
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:57,053
She has had every man
in this bar, every single one.
364
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,387
- What?
- That's right.
365
00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,640
Most of them ten, 20 times.
366
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,391
Look, you're a good boy, Frankie.
367
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,935
Now, go, go. Get out of here
before it's too late.
368
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,563
Now, go. Run like the wind. Go!
369
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:09,899
- Don't ever come back.
- I won't.
370
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,484
You know what I'm going
to do on the way home?
371
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,777
What?
372
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:16,947
I'm going to stop at St. Michael's
and I'm going to pray for her soul.
373
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,035
You do that.
374
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,288
How the hell did he ever
get in my family?
375
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,626
- Hey, Rebecca?
- Yes?
376
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:32,254
Rumor has it you've slept
with every guy in the bar.
377
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:33,714
What?
378
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:37,009
So, how come you haven't done
the wild thing with old Paul, huh?
379
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,808
I never get included in anything.
380
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:48,646
We're going to die out here.
381
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,856
They're gonna find
our bleached bones.
382
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,067
Look, let's just relax here, everybody.
383
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,403
Everything's gonna seem
better in the morning.
384
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,322
Oh, yes, Sam. In the morning.
385
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,533
When the desert sun comes up.
386
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,660
By noon, it'll be 120.
387
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:05,037
Forget it, Doc.
388
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:10,376
We're never going to see 120.
At 110, your lungs explode.
389
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:15,631
Cliff, that is ridiculous!
390
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:19,301
Oh, yeah? Well, would you like
to make a friendly wager on that?
391
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,222
How many hours
have we got until sunup?
392
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:26,142
About four, I'd say.
393
00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:34,567
Well, I've lived a good life.
394
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:39,822
The only thing I regret is
that I didn't get a chance
395
00:20:39,989 --> 00:20:41,532
to say good-bye
to Lilith and Frederick,
396
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:43,784
tell them how much I love them.
397
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:48,456
At least you got somebody
to carry on your name, you know?
398
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:49,957
I don't have anybody.
399
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,710
If I die out here,
it's me dying alone.
400
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,504
No, you're not, Sam. You got us.
401
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,384
Yeah.
402
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,636
Here we are wasting away in the desert.
403
00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:07,016
I never pictured that the four
of us would go out like this.
404
00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:08,851
How did you picture it, Cliff?
405
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,691
Well, I pictured Sammy getting
topped by a jealous husband.
406
00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:19,028
Norm, I figured you'd,
you know, a heart attack.
407
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:24,241
Frasier here...
408
00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:25,826
Cliff, I don't want to hear it.
409
00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:28,287
You bet you don't!
410
00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:39,340
Oh, look at that.
The sun's about to come up.
411
00:21:40,508 --> 00:21:42,176
Say, where's... where's Norm?
412
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:43,969
Oh, he's asleep in the back here.
413
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,014
Yeah? Well, he's not asleep anymore.
414
00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:48,599
Oh, yeah, he's gone.
415
00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,978
Well, he's got
to be around here someplace.
416
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,814
- Norm!
- Norman!
417
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:58,025
- Norm!
- Norman!
418
00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,485
You know, you don't suppose
419
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,738
some wolf dragged him off
in the night, do you?
420
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:06,325
Maybe we ought
to take a look for him.
421
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:07,576
Not me.
422
00:22:07,743 --> 00:22:09,829
I don't want to meet the wolf
that can drag off Norm.
423
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:16,585
- Norm!
- Yeah!
424
00:22:16,752 --> 00:22:19,046
- Well, thank God you're safe.
- Yeah.
425
00:22:19,213 --> 00:22:21,006
Well, where'd you get this thing?
426
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:22,883
It came complimentary
with the room.
427
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,093
What room?
428
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,303
- At the resort.
- What resort?
429
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,347
The resort just over the hill
where I spent the night.
430
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:32,142
You mean, you stayed in a resort
while we slept here in the dirt?
431
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:33,769
- What?
- Why didn't you come and tell us?
432
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:35,938
How could you do
something like this?
433
00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:37,189
You guys want
to yell at me some more
434
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,858
or do you want to make
the breakfast buffet?
435
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,317
It stops in ten minutes.
436
00:22:40,484 --> 00:22:41,944
Well, naturally the buffet.