1 00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:04,421 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,925 Hi, Doc. What's with the getup? 3 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,386 As of this day, I'm changing my ways. 4 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:12,596 Not too long ago, 5 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,681 I used to be a healthy, robust individual. 6 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,141 Then I set foot in this bar, 7 00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,937 started sitting around for hours when I should have been jogging, 8 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:22,064 started to gorge myself on snacks and sweets 9 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:23,565 instead of health food. 10 00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,317 Well, now that I'm on the road to better health, 11 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:26,693 I'm taking you with me. 12 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,405 What do you mean, Doc? 13 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,242 Well, I've signed us up for a physical fitness program. 14 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,203 I don't know, Doc. Sounds like an awful lot of work. 15 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,914 I already took into account your legendary sloth, 16 00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,500 and to make it easier for you, I've hired a trainer 17 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,627 to come here in person to help you exercise. 18 00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,420 We tried that once. 19 00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,172 You had a trained athlete 20 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,882 who came here and helped you work out? 21 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:49,925 Yeah. 22 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,260 Well, what happened? 23 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,095 I don't know. Ask him. 24 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:54,888 Paul. 25 00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,226 You guys read Andy Capp today? 26 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,347 Okay, guys. 27 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,432 Hurry up and get your lunch orders in. 28 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,309 Dip 'n Fry closes in 20 minutes. 29 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,519 Yeah. if we don't hurry, they'll change the grease. 30 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,565 I can't seem to make up my mind here. 31 00:02:28,732 --> 00:02:30,192 Every day, you stare at that damn menu, 32 00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,027 and every day, you order the wing dings. 33 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,113 Maybe I would like something different today, Norm. 34 00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,825 Sammy, I'm going to have the baked potato, please, 35 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,078 with sour cream and butter. 36 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,997 And put some cheddar on there, please. 37 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,249 Oh, and some jack cheese. 38 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,959 Bacon bits? 39 00:02:48,126 --> 00:02:50,003 No. I'm watching my cholesterol. 40 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,590 Cliff ie? 41 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:54,675 I'll have the... 42 00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:56,593 ...wing dings. 43 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,978 Isn't that precious? 44 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:10,148 I can hardly wait till Sam and I have our baby. 45 00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,026 Carla, do you think I'm gonna make a good mother? 46 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,111 Nope. 47 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,240 What do you mean? 48 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:20,242 You asked me a question, I gave you an answer. 49 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,993 But I'm serious. 50 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,037 Sorry. I'm just being honest. 51 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,415 You're not being honest. You're being mean. 52 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,792 Sometimes you get a twofer. 53 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,337 So you're saying that you don't think 54 00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:34,089 that I can take care of a baby? 55 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:36,258 You kidding? I don't think you can take care of an egg. 56 00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,552 - Oh, come on. - No. Really, really. 57 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,054 I'll bet you five bucks you can't take care of this egg 58 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,931 until Friday night at closing time. 59 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,559 Five bucks? 60 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,561 - Yeah. - You're on. Thanks. 61 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:54,943 Okay, I was practicing. 62 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,945 Now... start. 63 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,075 Norm, are you busy? 64 00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,618 Good one. 65 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,496 Thanks. I thought of it last night in the shower. 66 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,959 Norm, Frasier and I were wondering if you would paint 67 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:12,252 our living room today. 68 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,087 Today? What's the rush? 69 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,090 Yesterday little Frederick was playing fireman 70 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:19,009 with the mustard and ketchup squeeze bottles, 71 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:22,220 and he put out our living room wall. 72 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,556 He is a Dickens. 73 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,434 I found it difficult to keep a straight face. 74 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,731 Well, I'm really kind of taking this week off. 75 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,775 From what? 76 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,153 From Vera. She's visiting her mother. 77 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,696 Nothing serious, I hope. 78 00:04:39,863 --> 00:04:42,783 No. They're changing that tire that hangs from her ceiling. 79 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,828 I can take care of you guys. I can use the work. 80 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,497 Let's go check it out. 81 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:54,544 Tell you what, I think I can swing the whole thing today for... 82 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,213 ...what do you say, $400? 83 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,090 That's a little pricey, isn't it? 84 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:00,675 Right. Well, say, 200, 85 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,385 and you supply the food and the beer? 86 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:04,387 400 it is. 87 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,357 Say, Norm, what kind of roller is that? 88 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:16,525 I don't know, Fras. 89 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:20,362 They have different kinds of rollers? 90 00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:22,489 Yeah. Probably do. 91 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:25,867 Suppose some of them are better than the others? 92 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,537 Yeah, yeah, I suppose. 93 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,956 This one's okay though, Fras. Trust me. 94 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:32,332 Oh, oh, yeah. 95 00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,584 I was just wondering about rollers. 96 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,713 Don't you have anything to do, like work or anything? 97 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,549 No, no, don't have to work today, 98 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,635 and Lilith doesn't let me watch TV during the daytime. 99 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:48,932 Say, can I help you with anything? Stir the paint, maybe? 100 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:52,352 No. They shook it up over at the paint store. 101 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,856 Yeah. Right. Those machines that shake the paint. 102 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,233 Say, I wonder who invented that. 103 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:03,029 There's a guy that really made a worthwhile contribution, you know? 104 00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:07,284 I mean, if he was a guy. It could've been a woman, I guess. 105 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,326 Isn't that interesting? 106 00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:11,413 Why would I assume just right off that that would be a man? 107 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,791 Frasier, I'm starting to miss Cliff. 108 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:17,794 Right, right, right. 109 00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,922 - How's Norm doing? - Oh, fine, I guess. 110 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,885 Oh, say, Norm. The guy on This Old House says 111 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,388 that you should apply paint with vertical strokes. 112 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,181 Yeah? What's This Old House? 113 00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:31,558 It's a show on PBS. 114 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,684 What's PBS? 115 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,397 Tell me you didn't see that coming a mile away. 116 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,859 You know, I was just trying to point out 117 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:44,112 that it seemed a little silly for a television show 118 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:48,116 to waste all that air time explaining to paint a certain way 119 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,076 when you can just slap it on willy-nilly. 120 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,872 I'd love to stay here all day and defend myself, 121 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,373 but I can't reach that top spot, 122 00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:57,125 so I'm gonna go home and get my big ladder. 123 00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:59,085 You could reach it from the top of the ladder. 124 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,463 Oh, no, no. You see that sticker on the ladder there? 125 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:03,214 You're not supposed to go above that step. 126 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,966 Oh, come on. You're just being a big baby. 127 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,343 Look. You're almost done, 128 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:08,595 and you don't want it to dry two different colors. 129 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,430 Don't tell me. The guy from This Old House? 130 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,514 If he wasn't professional, 131 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:12,891 he wouldn't be the guy from This Old House, 132 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,142 he'd just be some guy. 133 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,770 - Now come on. Get up there. - No. 134 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,647 I'm gonna get hurt, fall down. No way. 135 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,857 All right, you big baby. I'll do it myself. 136 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,150 Frasier, come on now. 137 00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:24,819 - Hand me that roller. - Frasier, relax, will you? 138 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:34,245 Okay, so maybe it is a little hazardous. 139 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,836 Norm, I'm sorry. 140 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:43,838 I'm so sorry. 141 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,842 All I can say is I am so, so sorry. What else can I say? 142 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:49,636 I know something you can stop saying. 143 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,305 - Here you are, Norm. - Thank you. 144 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,477 Norm, don't lift up your neck like that. 145 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,146 Remember what Dr. Phelps said. You've got a bruised disk. 146 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,399 Don't want to aggravate it by moving in any way. 147 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,859 Well, at least it won't affect my lifestyle much. 148 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,030 Can you just drop me off at home, Frasier? 149 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,949 Okay, Norm. Just be careful. 150 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,035 No, no. We can't take him home. Vera's out of town. 151 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,453 Can you imagine Norm just sitting there 152 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:18,123 all alone in his house, helpless in front of the TV? 153 00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,542 Hang onto your hat, but yes. 154 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:27,007 Look, Lilith, the least I owe Norm is the comfort of our home, 155 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,342 at least until Vera comes back. 156 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,760 I see what this is. 157 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,971 You want your little friend to stay over. 158 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,392 Well... he doesn't move much. 159 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,147 All right. if you clean up after him, you can keep him. 160 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,399 But the first time I have to do it, out he goes. 161 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,276 Do you hear that, Norm? You can stay. 162 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:48,945 Say, listen... 163 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,114 Tell her you want to watch some television. 164 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,330 800. 165 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:01,958 Literature. 166 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:06,504 808.83. 167 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,798 Short monologues. 168 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,719 Boy, Mr. Clavin, you sure know your Dewey Decimal System. 169 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,141 Cheers. 170 00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,226 Hey, guys, it's Norm. 171 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,644 Norm! 172 00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:24,939 Hey, what's shaking, man? 173 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:28,276 Where does he come up with these things? 174 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,028 That is great. 175 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:31,905 How are you doing? 176 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,949 I'm sorry to hear that. 177 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,952 Well, we're gonna miss you around here. 178 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,120 Take it easy. 179 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:40,872 Yeah, all right. Bye-bye. 180 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:42,624 Poor guy. 181 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,835 Threw his back out over at Frasier's house. 182 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,004 Can't move. Lilith's taking care of him. 183 00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,339 Poor Norm. 184 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,632 Oh, boy. 185 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,051 I hope it's not serious. 186 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,719 If anything happened to the big guy, 187 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:55,929 I don't know what I'd do. 188 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,722 It's too bad it takes something bad to happen 189 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,390 for us to really appreciate him. 190 00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,810 Yeah. Really makes you stop and think, huh? 191 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,187 Flip you for his stool. 192 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,355 Heads. 193 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:07,649 Hey! 194 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:16,991 Lilith, could you put a head on this, please? 195 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:22,288 Norm, for two days now, I've been seeing to your every need. 196 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,582 I think it's time we had a little talk. 197 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,584 Oh, great. Could I go first? 198 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:28,545 Because there's something I've been really wanting to say. 199 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,465 Lilith, you and I are very different people. 200 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,512 I mean, look at you. You're successful, ambitious. 201 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,682 You got a great career, lovely family. 202 00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:43,393 Me, I'm just a guy who sits on a barstool 203 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,937 and hangs out all day with his dorky friends. 204 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:50,358 I don't know. I guess I've always sort of felt... 205 00:10:50,859 --> 00:10:52,026 ...sorry for you. 206 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,491 The point I'm trying to make here, Lilith, 207 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,286 is that, even though I don't understand 208 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:03,163 half the stuff you guys talk about, 209 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,289 quantum physics and... 210 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,207 Oh, oh. That's easy. 211 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:10,753 Once you accept the duality of light as both a particle and a wave... 212 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,256 Yeah, whatever. Who cares, really? 213 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,842 The point is, Lilith, 214 00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,428 that I realize you've been trying to help me, 215 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,096 and I appreciate that. 216 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,265 And in the future, 217 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,059 I, for one, will not be so quick to just blow you off. 218 00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:30,440 Sadly, Norm, that's one of the nicest things 219 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,233 anyone's ever said to me. 220 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,779 Thank you for that gift. 221 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,573 Could you get that? 222 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,325 That's probably the pizza that I ordered. 223 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,620 I had to put it on your MasterCard. Thank you for that gift. 224 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,791 Yo! Anybody home? Hey, Lilith, how you doing? 225 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,460 - Hey! - Cliff ie! 226 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:53,254 Hey, how's it going? I was in the neighborhood, 227 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:54,339 so I thought I'd stop in. 228 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:55,673 Yeah? You finished your route? 229 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,967 No. They can wait. Heck. 230 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,554 There's nothing happening today. 231 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,141 The biggest thing today is some old lady wrote some guy 232 00:12:05,308 --> 00:12:07,018 saying that she was his natural mother. 233 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,687 It's a soap opera out there, Norm. 234 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,776 Well, well. Norm and Cliff in my home. 235 00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,446 Usually at this point, I wake up drenched in sweat. 236 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,617 Yeah, now there's an image, huh? 237 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:23,993 Ah... now, Cliff ie. 238 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,453 Back off now, Cliff. 239 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,915 Lilith and I have been talking. Turns out she's just regular folks. 240 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,250 Sure she is. 241 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,169 What's a guy got to do to get a drink around here? 242 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,046 Cliff... 243 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,007 ...this is not a tavern. This is my home. 244 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:41,052 Do you see a bartender? Do you see any beer? 245 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:42,762 Oh! There he is! 246 00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:48,226 Normie can't come to the beer, then the beer comes to Normie. 247 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,478 Hey, Lilith, want to get us some glasses there? 248 00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:02,865 You know, Norm... 249 00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,077 It's a little bit strange watching TV at eye level. 250 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,249 You get used to it, though. 251 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,669 No. Actually, you probably won't get used to it, Cliff. 252 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,504 Remember, you're just stopping by. 253 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:21,968 I don't know there, Lilith. I mean, Sam's pouring, you got ESPN. 254 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,344 It's just like Cheers. 255 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,972 Yes, but it's not Cheers. 256 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,641 This is a private home, and comfortable though it may be, 257 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,601 I'm sure you have other things to do. 258 00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:34,397 You know, Cliff, Lilith's right. You got your route to finish. 259 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:36,065 We'll be here when you get back. 260 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,071 Gentlemen, I'm afraid the party is over. 261 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:44,240 As enjoyable as this has been, 262 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,242 I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 263 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,871 Well, this must be the place. 264 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,833 - This guy drives like a maniac. - How would you know? 265 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,293 You were playing with my radio the whole way. 266 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:57,170 How can you listen to that crap? 267 00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,882 Hey, guys. What'll you have here? 268 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,760 Listen, everyone. Norm needs peace and quiet. 269 00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,636 For that matter, so do Frasier and I. 270 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,263 So if you don't mind... 271 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,265 Wing dings! Get them while they're hot. 272 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,643 Paul! Phil! Good to see you. 273 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,063 Those directions weren't too complicated, were they? 274 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,856 Look, honey, it's Phil and Paul. 275 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,319 May I see you in the kitchen, darling? 276 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,251 I'll just... 277 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:38,669 I'll put in another batch. 278 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,063 Frasier. 279 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,024 Frasier. 280 00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,945 Doctor, are you listening to me? 281 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:07,365 Yes, yes. Please continue. 282 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,701 I hate it when you do that. 283 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,079 Say, what time is it? 284 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,791 It's 1:00 in the morning, And your friends are still downstairs. 285 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,460 Just try to ignore it, Lilith. It's only for a couple more days. 286 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,753 I will not ignore it. 287 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,505 Now go down there and get rid of them. 288 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:23,965 I can't, dear. 289 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:26,384 I'm the one that hurt Norm. I feel responsible. 290 00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:28,719 But you're not responsible for the others. 291 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,140 Yeah, but you don't understand, dear. 292 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,934 You get one, you get them all. 293 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,855 It's like a hive mentality. 294 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,107 Norm must be their queen. 295 00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,110 Get rid of them now. 296 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,611 And if I don't? 297 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,781 Would you like to ever see me naked again in the nineties? 298 00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:55,329 You know, that would be more effective if you didn't use it 299 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,291 every time you ever want me to do something. 300 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,589 All right, people. Enough is enough. 301 00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:06,632 Oh, come on, man. 302 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,020 Stop it right now! 303 00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:21,272 I want you people out of my house! 304 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,025 Gee, Lilith, what's wrong? 305 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,819 You've taken advantage of our hospitality. 306 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,654 You should be ashamed of yourselves. 307 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,782 Lilith, don't you think you're overreacting a little bit? 308 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:33,868 Cheers. 309 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,121 This is not Cheers. 310 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:38,873 Call back. 311 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,251 And you, I thought you were getting rid of them. 312 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,420 I asked them to leave, and they said no. 313 00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:46,047 You never asked us to leave, Fras. 314 00:16:46,214 --> 00:16:48,132 Shut up, Cliff. I'm in a little pickle here. 315 00:16:48,299 --> 00:16:50,927 I will not have my home turned into a circus. 316 00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,888 There is only one person who has any right to be here. 317 00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:55,306 Is it me? 318 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,225 Fat chance, mister. 319 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:58,684 I'm talking about Norm. 320 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,478 Where the hell is Norm? 321 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,439 He said his back was feeling better so he hit the bricks. 322 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,107 I think he went to Cheers. 323 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,029 And you people are still here? 324 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,823 If you're not gone by the time I get back, 325 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:16,160 Frasier, you're a dead man. Do you hear me? 326 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,751 Carla, I did it. 327 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:25,962 It's almost closing time, 328 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,506 and here's my little egg, safe and sound. 329 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,091 Pay up. 330 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,134 Darn the luck. 331 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,807 Say, you don't have change for a 20, do you? 332 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,475 Where did you get that money? 333 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:42,186 Well, I bet some of the guys that I could make you carry 334 00:17:42,353 --> 00:17:44,355 an egg around the bar for three days running. 335 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:48,818 I won 150 bucks. 336 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,696 Here's your five. Go crazy. 337 00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:56,284 The important thing to remember here is that I proved my point. 338 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,785 What did you prove? 339 00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,620 That you could take care of an egg? 340 00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:04,208 Babies are a lot bigger and heavier. 341 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:07,003 Now, if you could, say... 342 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,463 ...carry a watermelon... 343 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,258 ...say, between your legs, 344 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,469 from one end of the bar to the other 345 00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:16,637 and cluck like a chicken, 346 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,265 now, that would prove that you're ready for motherhood. 347 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:22,727 Good night, Carla. 348 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,358 Here's your 20, Carla. 349 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,402 I thought she'd do it. 350 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:37,825 Norm. 351 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,036 Oh, no, Dr. Sternin-Crane. 352 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,663 You're supposed to yell, "Norm!" when he comes in the door. 353 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,125 Don't worry. It took me a little while to get used to it, too. 354 00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:50,171 - What's wrong, Lilith? - What the hell are you doing here? 355 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,714 My back started feeling a lot better, 356 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,300 and I was really getting kind of tired of those guys. 357 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,844 Norm, perhaps you'll understand an analogy. 358 00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:59,555 Have you ever had a dog and the dog had fleas, 359 00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,683 but then when the dog left, your house was still infested? 360 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:06,729 Oh, yeah. That happened to me. Only it wasn't a dog. It was a pig. 361 00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,273 We had fleas the size of golf balls. 362 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,317 Woody, I'm not interested. 363 00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,277 I'm trying to have a conversation with Norm. 364 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:14,945 Oh, golf balls, huh? 365 00:19:17,031 --> 00:19:19,241 Got so bad we had to bomb the whole house. 366 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,369 Those flea bombs are great, huh? 367 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,329 What's a flea bomb? 368 00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,956 Stop it! Just stop it! 369 00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:31,545 I came by to tell you 370 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:34,590 that your behavior has been unconscionably rude. 371 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,676 You let your friends overrun my home, 372 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,886 and then when you leave, you don't even have the decency 373 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,096 to take them with you. 374 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:42,223 That's all I have to say. 375 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:44,225 Good night. 376 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:46,811 Wait, Lilith. Lilith, wait a minute now. 377 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,397 You're absolutely right, and I'm sorry. 378 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:52,858 You're up already. 379 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,611 Why don't you just relax and have a drink? 380 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,989 Come on. You took care of me for two days, 381 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,117 the least I can do is buy you a drink. 382 00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,578 Come on. Come on. You can sit on my stool. 383 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,332 Come on. 384 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,212 Woods, scotch. 385 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,257 I may as well. 386 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:19,218 My house is filled with people who hate me. 387 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,680 They're all angry at me because I spoiled the big party. 388 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,766 I'm the wet blanket. I'm the drudge. 389 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:27,893 I'm the big party pooper. 390 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,896 Stop me when you disagree. 391 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,022 I will. 392 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:37,403 You know, Norm, you may find this surprising, 393 00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:40,781 but I'm somewhat off-putting to most people. 394 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:42,908 No, no, it's true. 395 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,036 I don't have many friends. 396 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,330 I've never been very good at making friends. 397 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,667 I think it's easy, Lilith. 398 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,336 You just have to relax a bit. 399 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,464 Just sort of loosen up. 400 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,675 - You mean, just be myself? - No. 401 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,138 You weren't listening. Just relax. 402 00:21:05,014 --> 00:21:06,015 Loosen up. 403 00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,142 Okay, I'll try it. 404 00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,565 Oh, wow. This feels much better. 405 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:16,609 See? 406 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:18,944 I've been looking at this all wrong. 407 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,113 I'm going to go back to my house, 408 00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,199 and I'm going to be the life of that party. 409 00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:26,660 And it won't be that disorganized, carousing fun they've been having. 410 00:21:26,827 --> 00:21:29,246 It's going to be good, clean, organized fun. 411 00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:33,417 We'll play Pictionary, then Botticelli, then it's Charades till dawn. 412 00:21:33,584 --> 00:21:36,170 I'll rush home and type up a party schedule. 413 00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:37,463 I'll make copies... 414 00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:40,925 Oh, I wonder if they have a copy center open at this hour? 415 00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:45,179 I know. Why not make a game out of trying to find one? 416 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:51,894 Frasier, it's Norm. 417 00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,438 Get out of the house while you still can.