1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,463
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,634
Dr. Crane, look what I got.
3
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:12,638
That's quite a trophy, Woody.
I didn't know you played golf.
4
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:16,016
I don't. There's a trophy shop
down the street.
5
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You just bought this trophy?
You don't even golf?
6
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,606
Why should I?
7
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,399
Because the idea of a trophy
8
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:25,984
is to show some sort
of accomplishment.
9
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:28,278
You should learn to golf.
Go out, take a couple of lessons,
10
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,323
spend some hours mastering
the finer points of the game.
11
00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:32,533
And then?
12
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:36,328
Then you get better
and you can join a country club.
13
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:37,329
And then?
14
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:40,249
Then you can compete,
maybe enter some tournaments.
15
00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:41,458
And then?
16
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,043
Then maybe someday
you'll be the best
17
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,586
and you'll win and you'll get a...
18
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A trophy, Dr. Crane?
19
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,342
Congratulations, Woody.
20
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,045
There's something different
about Dr. Sternin-Crane.
21
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I can't put my finger on it.
Is it her hair?
22
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,092
No, I'll get it. Her dress?
23
00:02:15,510 --> 00:02:19,181
Oh, I got it...
Her husband's growing a beard.
24
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,477
Did I hear someone
mention my beard?
25
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,106
That's right, Woody. A beard...
26
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:31,234
The ultimate manifestation of masculinity.
27
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Testosterone surging through my face.
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Every red-blooded man's birthright...
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hair on his chin.
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I don't know why
I didn't do this before.
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Because I wouldn't let you.
32
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Oh, yes, that's right.
It all comes back to me now.
33
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,964
Hi. I'm looking for Woody Boyd.
34
00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,467
Oh, Russell!
35
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:58,929
Russell, Russell, Russell!
All the way from Florida.
36
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,056
- How you doing, cuz?
- I'm great, man.
37
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Hey, Sam, guess who this is.
38
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,185
Your cousin Russell from Florida?
39
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,230
Wow! What are you, a witch?
40
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:10,482
Hi, Russell. I'm Sam...
41
00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:13,485
Sam Malone, I know.
Woody's told me all about this place.
42
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:14,986
Oh, Miss Howe.
43
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,948
You're just as beautiful
as Woody said you were.
44
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Thank you, Woody.
45
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,702
Hey, there's Mr. Peterson.
46
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,537
Look... Mr. Clavin!
47
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,497
Hey, there's the Cranes.
48
00:03:25,664 --> 00:03:27,332
You're right, Woody...
Like she's seen a ghost.
49
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,796
And there's Carla, right?
50
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,090
And Tecumseh, and the jukebox,
51
00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,551
and the wooden lady,
and the little porthole.
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00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,177
Hey, Russell, I guess you know who I am.
53
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I'm Paul Krapence.
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Who?
55
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I was going on and on.
I had to draw the line somewhere.
56
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,646
Hey, Russell, let me get you
something to drink.
57
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:54,025
Well, well, one of Woody's relatives.
58
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,152
- Hello, Russell.
- Hi.
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00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,946
Say, Russell, have you
ever been to Hanover?
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00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,031
I spent every summer
of my life there.
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00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:02,325
Yes, well, Woody's
told us a lot about it.
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00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,578
I'm sure we'd all be interested
in a different perspective.
63
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,956
Well, it's like any other
small rural town in the Midwest.
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00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:12,127
There's acres and acres of farmland
and hardworking people.
65
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,421
You know, it's also
the UFO capital of the world.
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00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,050
Enjoy your stay in Boston, Russell.
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00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,469
Thank you.
68
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:25,182
Hey, Russell, you can stay with me.
I got a real nice apartment.
69
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:29,936
The couch almost opens out into a bed,
most days you got heat and hot water,
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00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,021
and it's usually quiet,
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00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:34,274
except the couple next door
is off the wagon this week.
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00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,819
That's a great offer, man,
but I already made a reservation
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00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,279
in this cheap little motel.
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00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,156
Can I stay with you?
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00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:45,285
Russell, why don't you
put your suitcase in the office.
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00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,369
That's real kind, sir,
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00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:49,039
but like I just told Woody,
I already got a room reserved.
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00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,291
Well, then just while you're here.
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00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,963
Hey, Sam, be real nice to him.
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00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,381
He's heartbroken.
81
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,593
This girl's he's been going out with
for a long time just dumped him,
82
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,095
so he's come to Boston
to make a new start.
83
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,264
I think he's hoping
to hit the big time like me.
84
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:10,519
The big time?
Woody, you're a bartender.
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You're living hand to mouth.
86
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:16,066
Yep. Back in Hanover, people think
I made a pact with the devil.
87
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,572
What's Russell going to do
while he's here in Boston?
88
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:26,034
I don't know, Miss Howe.
I was hoping he could work at Cheers.
89
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,536
What does he know how to do?
90
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:28,954
That's the question.
91
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,915
He was always off writing,
sculpting, and painting
92
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,792
while the rest of us were
bettering ourselves
93
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:38,046
by learning air conditioning repair
and riding dirt bikes.
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00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:42,384
Tell you the truth, I don't know
if he can do much of anything.
95
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,650
Of course, why didn't I
think of it before?
96
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,068
He can be a busboy.
97
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:02,112
Hey, Russ?
98
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,657
Sam, why don't we hire him
to be the piano player here?
99
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,827
Maybe, as long
as he works for tips.
100
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,454
Well, you won't regret it.
I know about these things.
101
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,956
I have a golden gut.
102
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:15,041
It must be worth a fortune.
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00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:18,211
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you said "golden butt."
104
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:26,887
Well, here's your mail, Rebecca.
105
00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:28,805
Thank you.
106
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:30,348
Hey, Twitchell.
107
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,058
Hey, Clavin.
108
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How come every other mailman
in this town is out there
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busting his hump, and you're in here
sitting on your oversized irregular?
110
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:42,777
Return it to sender, Twitchell.
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00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,071
You left this in your box, Clavin.
112
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What's that?
113
00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:49,034
It's the official memo
regarding the new uniforms.
114
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Starting tomorrow,
they are regulation wear,
115
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,956
and that's by order
of the Postmaster General.
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Wait a second.
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I can't believe you opened
my mail there, Twitch.
118
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:02,088
Hey...
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00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:06,760
That's a good one, Clavin.
120
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,140
But you can't escape the fact
that starting tomorrow,
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00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,476
we all have to wear
the new uniforms.
122
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:15,727
No exceptions.
123
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:19,356
Yeah? This is what I think
of the new uniforms.
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00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:23,068
Come on, it's not as bad as that.
You haven't even seen them yet.
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That's right, and I don't want to.
As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't exist.
126
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,783
This is the uniform that made me
want to become a postal worker.
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00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,701
And this is the uniform I'm sticking to.
128
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,245
You wouldn't have that problem
if you washed it once in a while.
129
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,461
You know, this is insubordination, Clavin.
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00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,464
I got no choice but to report you
to the supervisor.
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I don't care if you do.
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There comes a time in every man's life
he's got to show his manhood,
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00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,388
put his cards on the table.
134
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:52,931
Can we just see the cards?
135
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,811
You know, you guys, if we're gonna have
a piano player that's this great,
136
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,646
we shouldn't hide him
up there in the corner.
137
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,440
I think we should move the piano
down here and put it against this wall.
138
00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:06,695
If you help me move it,
I'll give each of you a free beer.
139
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:11,032
Great. I suppose you think
we're a couple of trained dogs.
140
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:15,328
Every time you want us to do something,
you waggle a free beer under our faces.
141
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,288
We have some self-respect,
we have a little dignity.
142
00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:18,498
Am I right, Paul?
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00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,293
If I do it by myself,
can I have both beers?
144
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,336
Sure.
145
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,173
Way to go, fathead.
I was working her for a pitcher.
146
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,307
There. That wasn't so hard.
147
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,394
For guys that know
what they're doing, no problem.
148
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,730
Let's hope Rebecca
doesn't need us to move it back.
149
00:08:41,896 --> 00:08:42,981
That could get a little hairy.
150
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,080
That's great, Russell.
151
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:02,292
All right!
152
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:08,923
Thanks a lot, Miss Howe.
153
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,176
Say, what would you call
that color of hair?
154
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,469
What, this hair?
155
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,554
Well, it's nothing unusual.
156
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,722
It's just...
157
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,809
medium chestnut
with auburn highlights.
158
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,896
Is that what it said
on the bottle?
159
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,233
Why do you ask, Russell?
160
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,486
Well, I was hoping
to use it in a song.
161
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:30,945
Do you mind if I just say...
162
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,573
The color of romance
163
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:35,992
The color of longing
164
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,370
The color of the feeling I get
165
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,208
When I see you smile
166
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,626
Okay.
167
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:50,090
I think we have a May/December
thing happening here.
168
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,675
Yeah, December of the following year.
169
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,680
He's got a major case
of puppy love going here.
170
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:01,017
He's following you around,
asking to do errands for you,
171
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,019
wanting rides back to the motel.
172
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,646
So what if he has
a little crush on me?
173
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:05,814
I think it's sweet.
174
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,442
Rebecca, you know, I've seen
this type of behavior before.
175
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,986
When Frasier first had a crush on me,
176
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,114
he had difficulty
expressing his feelings.
177
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,365
He was very shy,
178
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,742
so he expressed them
in other ways...
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00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:21,579
Calling me at all hours, and then
when I answered, hanging up.
180
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:25,875
Just sitting quietly in his car
in front of my house hour after hour.
181
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,544
Going through my mail,
182
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:31,089
then carefully replacing
the letters in my mailbox.
183
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,216
In other words, stalking me.
184
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,679
I got what I wanted, didn't I?
185
00:10:40,098 --> 00:10:43,434
You know, you guys,
there's no need to worry about this.
186
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,813
I mean, if it gets out of hand,
I know just what to do.
187
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,566
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to dedicate a song
188
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,568
to a very, very lovely lady...
189
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,069
Miss Rebecca Howe.
190
00:10:56,781 --> 00:11:02,245
I spent last night
191
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:06,457
Dreaming of your eyes
192
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:09,127
But your hair
193
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:12,213
Kept getting in the way
194
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,636
Your lips dropped in
195
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:22,599
To tell me how you'd been
196
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:26,519
And when I tried to kiss them
197
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,940
My pillow told me I missed them
198
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:35,236
Your voice dropped by
199
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:39,157
And sang a lullaby
200
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:43,536
And it was then I knew
201
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,289
Just what to do
202
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:56,090
I'd fall asleep, and then
203
00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,345
I'd dream
204
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:02,597
Of you
205
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,517
Again
206
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:15,068
Sure, but ask him
to fix an air conditioner.
207
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,613
My muse.
208
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,490
My inspiration.
209
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,707
Oh, Sam, he's so sweet.
210
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,209
I don't want to hurt his feelings.
211
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,878
What do you say
when you break up with a woman?
212
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:36,005
I usually say, "I'll call you tomorrow."
213
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:47,183
Wow! Russell and Miss Howe.
214
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,561
I never thought of it,
but it could work.
215
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,314
They could go out.
They could hit it off,
216
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,899
maybe even get married.
217
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:56,901
Hey, who knows?
218
00:12:57,068 --> 00:12:58,736
Maybe he could give her
the baby you couldn't.
219
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,658
That was a choice, Woody.
220
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:14,335
Thanks a lot for the ride, Rebecca.
221
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,129
You feel like coming in
for a cup of coffee?
222
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,172
No, thanks, Russell.
223
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,010
Russell, I had something
I wanted to say to you,
224
00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:25,054
and I didn't get
a chance to in the car.
225
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:27,849
I don't know exactly how to put it.
226
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:31,436
I wanted to talk to you
about the crush you have on me.
227
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,563
I don't have a crush on you, Rebecca.
228
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,148
You what?
229
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,275
I don't have a crush on you.
230
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:38,401
- You don't?
- No.
231
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:42,155
Oh, my God!
I'm so embarrassed!
232
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,032
Oh, dear. Oh, well.
233
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,492
All right, I will come in
and have that cup of coffee.
234
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,744
Yeah, come on in.
235
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,246
After you.
236
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,671
Rebecca, I don't have
a crush on you.
237
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,549
I just love you
with all my heart and soul.
238
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,028
Thank you.
239
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,447
Say, folks, I'm going
to be taking a short break.
240
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:25,990
Woody, have you seen my snifter?
241
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:27,950
Oh, it's over there.
242
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:29,660
Sam, you want to put
a head on this, please?
243
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:40,880
- That's yours.
- Thanks.
244
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:45,593
Say, Sam, is Rebecca coming in today?
245
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,805
Well, she's scheduled to work,
so I'm not really sure.
246
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,351
Maybe I should swing by her place
and see if she's all right.
247
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,520
Say, does anybody know
where she lives?
248
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,563
Never mind. I'll find it.
249
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,030
Thank God he's gone.
250
00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,532
Where the hell
have you been all afternoon?
251
00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:10,451
Hiding up at Melville's,
waiting for Russell to leave.
252
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,621
You know, I sat up there
for three hours,
253
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:16,666
pushing my glass around,
making moronic small talk.
254
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,001
If I ever get like that,
put a gun to my head.
255
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:22,422
I thought he had
a little crush on me.
256
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:25,425
It's a full-blown obsession.
The man worships me.
257
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:29,137
It's like he's a little bit off balance,
if you know what I mean.
258
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:32,390
He worships you, and you think
he's a little off balance?
259
00:15:34,809 --> 00:15:37,770
Woody, was Russell
different in any way
260
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,188
when he was growing up?
261
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:42,316
Well, he does have
one little quirk.
262
00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:45,611
When he likes something,
he really gets carried away.
263
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,489
I mean, one time
he liked trains...
264
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,199
I mean, really liked them.
265
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:53,453
Collected them,
wrote songs about them,
266
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,247
pasted pictures all over his walls.
267
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:59,542
In fact, he even thought
he was a train for a while.
268
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,836
Every morning at 7:53,
269
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,754
you could hear him
coming through town.
270
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:07,091
What do I do?
271
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:10,261
The advisable course of action
is to not take any chances.
272
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:13,347
A woman living alone
who feels threatened in any fashion
273
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:15,224
is entitled to police protection.
274
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,685
I thought I'd just
be a little bit more direct
275
00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,270
and tell him I wasn't interested.
276
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,564
- Yeah, right.
- Be direct.
277
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:24,650
Lay people.
278
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:32,033
Can I help you?
279
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,367
Do you have a Clavin here?
280
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:35,912
Yeah, but it hasn't been
flushing right lately.
281
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,788
Well, maybe...
282
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,166
There he is!
There's the renegade!
283
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,959
Ah, hey, Twitchell.
284
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,253
What did you do,
tell your dad on me?
285
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,547
Henderson.
286
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:48,508
Postal inspector, South Branch.
287
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,510
There have been reports
of your refusal to wear
288
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:51,761
the new postal uniform.
289
00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:54,597
Oh, gee, I wonder
who reported me.
290
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,098
It was me, stupid.
291
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,603
That's the only reason
I've come in here on my day off
292
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,480
to see you knuckle under.
293
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:05,274
Yeah, so what if I don't
wear this new uniform?
294
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:08,694
Then I'll have no choice but to put you
under immediate suspension.
295
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,404
You wouldn't do that.
296
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,365
When I'm through with you,
you'll be lucky to get a job
297
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,785
sticking flyers under windshield wipers.
Now, what's it going to be?
298
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:18,621
All right.
299
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,248
You win this time.
300
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:24,085
Hey, Paul. Guard the men's
room door for me, will you?
301
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:25,503
I'm going to be naked in there.
302
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,129
Again?
303
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:32,510
Hey, hey!
304
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,845
Hook, line, and sinker.
305
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:36,847
Hey, fellas, what's up?
306
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,891
Sam, I want you to meet
my brother-in-law Frank.
307
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:39,892
Hi, Sam.
308
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,727
What are you guys trying to pull?
309
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,688
I'm sick of Clavin
shooting off his mouth
310
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:46,274
about the new uniforms.
He's never even seen them,
311
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,943
so we came up
with our own Clavin version.
312
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:51,279
The old fake uniform gag.
313
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:55,449
Why didn't we think of that?
I'm a little disappointed in all of us.
314
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:56,617
I just think we're
gonna have to work
315
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:57,994
a little harder around here.
316
00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,622
There you are, Rebecca.
317
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,165
Hello, Russell.
318
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,126
- Where have you been?
- Hiding.
319
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,502
I mean, doing my taxes.
320
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:09,922
Russell, I think you and I
need to have a little talk.
321
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:14,885
Sure. I could talk to you all night.
In fact, I have... in my own way.
322
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,975
Russell, have a seat.
323
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,979
Rebecca, I hope I didn't
frighten you last night
324
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,064
with my little tribute
to you on the walls.
325
00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:30,318
Russell, you have to stop this.
326
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,028
I'm not worthy
of all this attention.
327
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,947
I'm Rebecca. I'm nobody. I'm nothing.
328
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,782
I know. That's what Carla told me,
329
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,620
and Cliff, and Norm,
and Paul, and cousin Woody...
330
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:41,621
Well, anyway...
331
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,331
And Mr. Hill upstairs,
and Ruben the busboy...
332
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,498
The point...
333
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:49,962
Russell, you're young,
attractive, and sensitive,
334
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,798
and, you know, there's just
so many women out there for you.
335
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:56,218
I'm just not the one.
336
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,929
Well, I've heard
this speech before. Just...
337
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:02,516
Just pipe down
and put some clothes on,
338
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:04,602
and we'll call Amtrak security, right?
339
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,354
Is that it?
340
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:08,189
Is that the one?
341
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,235
Yes, Russell,
you pretty much said it for me.
342
00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,738
Well, I won't bother you anymore.
343
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,741
I guess my little songs and doodles
344
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,535
could never have won
the heart of a woman
345
00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:24,622
as beautiful and wonderful as you.
346
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:28,334
Shoot, I'm a richer person
for having known you, Rebecca.
347
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,170
You'll always be special.
348
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,971
I'm glad I don't have
to deal with that anymore.
349
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,182
"I love you, Rebecca.
350
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,850
I love you, Rebecca."
351
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:48,813
Who needs it?
352
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,358
I feel better.
353
00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:56,153
Any year now, Clavin!
354
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,531
I'm coming, I'm coming,
for crying out loud!
355
00:19:58,698 --> 00:19:59,657
Hold your horses.
356
00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:05,788
Well... I was wrong.
This thing is great.
357
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,166
Well, you haven't seen the hat.
358
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,295
Wow! All right!
359
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:16,215
Now, this is a uniform
that demands respect.
360
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:20,344
Yes, sir! There's going to be
one less reason to make fun
361
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:21,637
of Cliff Clavin tonight!
362
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,063
No, Mrs. Clavin, it wasn't us.
363
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,816
It was a couple of guys
from the post office.
364
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,819
Yeah. I know, I wish
we could have thought of it, too.
365
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,614
It was... you're kicking yourself, yeah.
366
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:44,410
Okay. Well, we'll talk
to you later. Bye-bye.
367
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,705
She's not exactly
Donna Reed, is she?
368
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:48,873
No.
369
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,711
Sam, I've been in there
thinking about Russell.
370
00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:55,921
I mean, what's wrong
with somebody paying attention to me?
371
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,965
So he loves me. Is that a crime?
372
00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:01,260
I'm gonna go talk to him.
Somebody cover for me.
373
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:04,180
Cover for what?
You don't do anything around here.
374
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:09,018
Seriously, what does she do
around here, anyway?
375
00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:20,905
Russell?
376
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:26,035
Russell, it's me, Rebecca!
377
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,332
Russell, I know you can hear me!
378
00:21:31,999 --> 00:21:35,169
Russell, I was wrong
to turn you away!
379
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,591
Russell, I'm coming in!
380
00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,510
I want you to give me
another chance!
381
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,722
Oh, hi, Rebecca.
382
00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:53,312
Isn't Carla dreamy?