1 00:00:01,460 --> 00:00:04,338 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,633 Hey, Woody, come here a second. Something's really bugging me. 3 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,051 Whatever it is, 4 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:11,011 I don't know what you're talking about. 5 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,222 'Cause I've never lied about anything. 6 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,766 This is Woody, remember? 7 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:18,644 Company man, team player, true blue. 8 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:21,396 You know, maybe if you turn that microscope on yourself, 9 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,649 you might find some things that aren't so pretty. 10 00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:27,152 I can't work in this atmosphere,. 11 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:30,405 All this suspicion and this constant interrogation. 12 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,407 What do you people want from me? 13 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,661 I didn't do anything, all right? I'm telling you, I'm innocent. 14 00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:38,121 Okay. Okay. 15 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,292 You remember three months ago that day I called in sick? 16 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,585 Woody-- 17 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,754 Sam, shut up. It's my turn to talk. 18 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,589 I was sick, 19 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,424 but a couple hours later I started feeling better. 20 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,636 I could have come in for half a day, but 21 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:55,180 instead I stayed home and did laundry and watched Oprah 22 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:57,224 'cause she had circus freaks on. 23 00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,893 I'm so ashamed. 24 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,106 Oh, good. That feels better. 25 00:01:04,273 --> 00:01:07,234 I've been carrying that around for three months. 26 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,028 I was just going to say, 27 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:13,115 your tag's sticking up on your sweater here. 28 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,741 Oh. 29 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,703 Well, then forget I said anything. 30 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,081 I was just kidding, you see. 31 00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,250 I was just kidding you. 32 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,211 I think I covered pretty well. 33 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:44,623 Good afternoon, Miss Tortelli. 34 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:48,001 Well, if it isn't John Cougar Melonhead. 35 00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,796 Thank you for last night, Miss Tortelli. 36 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:52,422 I wasn't with you last night. 37 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,966 I know, and don't think I don't appreciate it. 38 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,303 Oh, Sam. 39 00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,681 Yes, John. What can I do for you? 40 00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:02,849 Sam, I have a small request. 41 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,309 For the next three hours, 42 00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:06,436 I need you and the rest of the Cheers chimps 43 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,355 to hold down the noise. 44 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,566 Right now I'm entertaining 200 elderly women 45 00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,485 from the Daughters of the American Revolution. 46 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,821 You're giving them a firsthand account, John? 47 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,864 Very amusing. 48 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:20,826 Sam, this vent connects directly to my dining room, 49 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:24,079 and often we can hear everything you say down here. 50 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,330 So tell your mailman 51 00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:26,915 to go to that side of the bar 52 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:30,043 if he wants to describe his fungal infections. 53 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,671 You know, I have to second that. 54 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,589 Oh, sure, John. 55 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,550 Heck, you should have come down and told us sooner. 56 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,135 We'll be happy to oblige. 57 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:39,720 Well, thank you, Sam. 58 00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,305 That's uncharacteristically civil of you. 59 00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:45,308 Oh. if you all behave yourselves 60 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:46,685 for the next three hours, 61 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,770 maybe I'll take you out for ice cream. 62 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:51,189 Would you like that? 63 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,278 Why don't you just get lost, you sweathog. 64 00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:57,446 Sewer rat. 65 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:58,488 Bag of bones. 66 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,449 Maggot. 67 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,117 Am I the only one 68 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:05,078 who finds him really attractive? 69 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,413 Can you believe that guy? 70 00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,248 He's so damn condescending. 71 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:09,916 Sammy, not so loud. 72 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,918 He'll get angry, and we won't get the ice cream. 73 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,254 I think I'm onto something. 74 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,591 Yeah, yeah. Here you go. 75 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:20,510 Eek! Eek! Oh, there's a rat! 76 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,805 Oh, my God! There's another big rat! 77 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:33,982 I think that was very successful. 78 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:37,110 Except you got a bunch of dust in my beer here, Sam. 79 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,696 I'm sorry. I'll get you another one. 80 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,576 Sam. 81 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,536 Before I spend the remainder of the afternoon 82 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,372 trying to sort out whose walker is whose, 83 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,583 I want to say one thing. 84 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,876 I live for the day 85 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,377 when I can close this bar down 86 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,671 and put you out on the street. 87 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,507 He doesn't scare me. 88 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,092 You ought to see him with just a night light on. 89 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,013 Hey, everybody. 90 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:08,058 I got everything we need for our marathon poker fest. 91 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,643 Yeah? Did you bring the chips? 92 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,854 Yeah. I got red ones, blue ones, white ones. 93 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,314 No, no. The chips-- 94 00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,483 Ranch, mesquite, sour cream. 95 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,320 Don't you have any idea how to play this game? 96 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:22,364 So, you guys are having a big poker game? 97 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:23,698 Yeah. 98 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:27,118 I always wanted to learn how to play that game. 99 00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,538 You've never played poker, Woody? 100 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:32,457 No. Played all kinds of card games in Hanover, 101 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,000 but never poker. 102 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,794 I was pretty good, too. 103 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:37,629 I won all the time. 104 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,631 Yeah. Chicken in a box, 105 00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:42,509 one-eyed rooster, possum on a pole. 106 00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:44,636 What kind of games are that? 107 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,264 No, no. That's what the winner got. 108 00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:51,184 You know, guys, 109 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,687 I think it's time Woody learned how to play a little poker. 110 00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:55,689 Really? Thanks a lot. 111 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,357 How can I ever thank you guys? 112 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,442 We'll think of a way, Woody. 113 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,487 Say, you guys got room for one more? 114 00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:05,365 Oh, yeah, okay. It's all right with us. 115 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,076 Got to warn you, we're gonna be playing into the wee smalls. 116 00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:11,913 You might want to check with the old ball-and-crane. 117 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,543 I don't have to ask Lilith if I can play. 118 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,628 I'm an independent person. I can make my own decisions. 119 00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,964 It's all right with me, Frasier. 120 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,424 I wasn't asking. 121 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,175 Regardless, I still approve. 122 00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,760 Well, approve all you want to. I don't care. 123 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,429 I'm going to play poker, stay out late. 124 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,431 Stay out all night if you like. 125 00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:32,142 - You have my permission. - Stop it. 126 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,061 Very well, Frasier. 127 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,855 Please stay home with your wife and child. 128 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,023 We need you. 129 00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,774 Forget it, woman. Gotta be me. 130 00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,401 Let's party, boys! 131 00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:42,652 Sammy, are you in? 132 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,571 No. I got to make sure things run out here. 133 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:48,575 I can't concentrate on the game and the bar at the same time. 134 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,869 What about me? What am I here for? 135 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,288 Right. And I have to worry about Rebecca, too. 136 00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:58,126 You know, Sam, that really ticks me off. 137 00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,753 If you don't appreciate what I do, 138 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:00,921 why don't I just quit? 139 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,422 Oh, come on, sweetheart, 140 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,341 I appreciate everything you do around here. 141 00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,717 -Really? -Yeah. 142 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,093 What do I do? 143 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,512 Well... 144 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,974 Come on. Don't back me in a corner like this. 145 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,811 So it's not worth it to have me around. 146 00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:17,896 I'm useless. Is that it? 147 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,857 Come on, honey, you are real valuable around here 148 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:24,903 doing... all the things that you do. 149 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,821 All right? 150 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:30,033 All right. Fine. If it'll make you feel better, 151 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,078 I'll go play a little poker, all right? You take care of things out here. 152 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,371 Okay, don't think that I can't. 153 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,915 I mean, I am competent. I am damn competent. 154 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,625 I mean, I'm not just some lackey 155 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,253 who carries receipts around in this cigar box all day long. 156 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,673 I mean, I know what I'm doing. I have a business degree. 157 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,341 And I have a lot of experience. 158 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:48,885 And I am very, very, very good 159 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:50,303 at doing... 160 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,847 ...all the things that I do. 161 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,100 Like what? 162 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,144 Hey, come on, don't back me in the corner here. 163 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:09,614 You know, there is nothing like a good cigar. 164 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,122 And this is nothing like a good cigar. 165 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:21,001 This blanket ought to keep the smoke away from the customers. 166 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,004 Good idea, Sammy. More for us. 167 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,132 Guys, I got to be honest with you, I was just trying to hustle you out there. 168 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,509 I do know how to play poker. 169 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,512 And to tell you the truth, I was the best poker player in Hanover. 170 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,724 Actually, I was the best poker player 171 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,018 in the entire metro-Hanover area. 172 00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:42,188 Well, you're in the city now, Woody. 173 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,149 Well, I guess you do play different 174 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:45,358 than a bunch of farm boys. 175 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:47,444 I guess we do. 176 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,320 Why don't you sit down, Woodrow? 177 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:50,488 Well, thanks. 178 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,365 Take it easy on me. 179 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,908 Oh, yeah. Okay. 180 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,745 So, what sort of game would you like to play? 181 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,414 How about... 182 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,083 ...Five Blind Piglets and One Full Teat? 183 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,210 What kind of game is that? 184 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,589 That's where five city boys lose all their money. 185 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,435 Oh, Lilith, being in charge again is so invigorating. 186 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:21,978 I feel great. 187 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,730 This will really show Sam. 188 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,148 Bravo. 189 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,691 Some men still need to learn 190 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,193 that women can take on roles 191 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:29,694 traditionally held by men 192 00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,738 and perform them as well or better. 193 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:34,699 We live in an era of female brain surgeons, 194 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,077 astronauts, supreme court justices. 195 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,578 And bar managers. 196 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:39,996 Yes. 197 00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,458 Do you see the nifty way 198 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,335 I always keep this down. 199 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,588 It creates much more surface area for new drinks. 200 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,632 Coming through. 201 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,845 Of course I still have to iron out a few of the kinks. 202 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,388 Oh, hey, Rebecca. 203 00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,598 This letter came back. 204 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:00,308 Oh, dear. 205 00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,102 I must have put the wrong postage on it. 206 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,772 - Uh-oh. - What? 207 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,483 It's a renewal for our liquor license. 208 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:12,070 And... I was supposed to have sent it in 209 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,321 two weeks ago. 210 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,323 What are you saying? 211 00:10:15,490 --> 00:10:16,866 We have no liquor license? 212 00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:18,868 Yeah. 213 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,790 Do you realize we're serving alcohol in here? 214 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,000 I mean, they can shut us down forever. 215 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:29,087 I know. I'm okay. I'm okay. 216 00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:32,340 I'm in charge. This is a crisis, that's right, but I can handle this. 217 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,926 I will simply call the state liquor board 218 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,469 and I will tell them I screwed up. 219 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,762 And I'm sure they'll understand. 220 00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,639 What are we supposed to do in the meantime? 221 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,183 No one will know if we don't say anything. 222 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,893 So you just keep your mouth shut. 223 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:45,228 You're to tell no one. Do you understand? No one. 224 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:46,771 Gotcha. 225 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,940 - Where are you going? - To tell Sam. 226 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,526 No. if you tell Sam, 227 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:54,904 he won't even let me carry the cigar box around. 228 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,323 That's why I'm going to tell him. 229 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,159 All right, you evil thing. 230 00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:00,743 What do you want? 231 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,873 Let's see. What do you think would be fair? 232 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:07,917 Say, Carla, we're supposed to be Rebecca's friends. 233 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,460 I could just as easily say, 234 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,838 "Rebecca, I'm gonna tell Sam unless you sleep with me." 235 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,423 Exactly. 236 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,800 So will you? 237 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,679 Paul, she forgot to renew a liquor license. 238 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,265 She didn't burn down an orphanage. 239 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,187 How's it going? 240 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,938 - Fine. Fine. I'm in charge. - Good. 241 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:30,190 You don't even need to come out here, 242 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,482 not even for a second. 243 00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,109 I just want to get the fellas some more beer. 244 00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,986 If you need beer, I'll bring you the beer. 245 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,529 Sam, this is your day to relax. 246 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,947 - Hey, Sammy. - Paul! 247 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,283 Do you want to go out with me tonight? 248 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,828 Just the two of us? 249 00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,747 I suppose so. 250 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,459 Paul, you have something you want to say? 251 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,711 Forget it. I just got lucky. 252 00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,880 Rebecca. 253 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,758 You're going out to dinner with Paul? 254 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,676 Yes, I am. 255 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,387 You might want to think about computer dating... 256 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,098 Ads in the personals or something. 257 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,767 I'll bring you the beer. 258 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,978 Okay, Becs. They said you just have to 259 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,772 go down to the liquor license board 260 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,774 in the morning and they'll rubber stamp the renewal. 261 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,234 - Oh, good. - In the meantime 262 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:15,652 we just can't serve any alcohol. 263 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,862 We can't serve any alcohol. Fine. I can deal with that. 264 00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:20,406 Miss, I'd like a Scotch and soda, please. 265 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,243 We're all out of Scotch. 266 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,702 How about a bourbon? 267 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:25,912 We're out of bourbon. 268 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:27,330 What's that behind you? 269 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,581 I don't see anything. 270 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,124 Right there behind you. all those bottles-- 271 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,085 I said I don't see anything! 272 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,087 Carla. Carla, it's all right. 273 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:37,006 Sir, here is your Scotch and soda. 274 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,174 Rebecca. 275 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:40,385 It's all right. I have a plan. Just watch this. 276 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,803 Here you go. No, no, no, no. 277 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:43,346 I don't need any money. 278 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,306 I want you to take this and just think of it 279 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,516 as a gift from me, 280 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,726 Rebecca Howe, private citizen, 281 00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,604 and in no way affiliated with this bar. 282 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,483 Thanks. 283 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,027 You see that? 284 00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,612 That's all we have to do. That's the answer. 285 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,531 All we have to do is give everybody free alcohol 286 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,157 and not take any money for it, 287 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,618 and this bar can stay in business forever. 288 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:08,997 Ow! 289 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:10,957 Let me get that for you. 290 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,292 Ow! 291 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,626 Are you all right? 292 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,086 Yes. Just put it down. 293 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,421 Ow! 294 00:13:26,931 --> 00:13:30,310 Rebecca, you're taking money for a drink? 295 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,062 I thought the plan was to give them away for free. 296 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:36,024 No. See, I realized we couldn't really afford to do that 297 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:38,151 about $1,200 ago. 298 00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,445 So now what we're doing is tricking them. 299 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,655 You see, Carla and I have taken all the bottles 300 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,365 and put colored water in them, and we're serving 301 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:47,201 - non-alcoholic beer and soft drinks. - Oh. 302 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,203 Can I have a strawberry daiquiri, miss? 303 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,747 Oh, yes. Coming right up. 304 00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,458 Kool-Aid on crushed ice. 305 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,668 Hey, Rebecca. 306 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,128 Hi, Sam. 307 00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:58,671 I came for some more beers for the guys. 308 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,089 They're going through it like it's water. 309 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:01,257 Well, it's not. 310 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,220 You sure everything is going all right? 311 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,555 Yes. You'll get your beer. 312 00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,891 - Just get back in there. Go on. - All right. 313 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,686 This is very interesting, Rebecca. 314 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,522 Allow me to help in your little charade. 315 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,983 I'd like a Scotch, please. 316 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,527 I've done some acting in my time. 317 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,199 Thank you. 318 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,960 Smooth. 319 00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:42,423 That was very good, Lilith. 320 00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:45,259 You really have a mischievous side to you. 321 00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,303 I was the bad seed in high school. 322 00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,971 Whoo. Scary play. 323 00:14:49,138 --> 00:14:51,349 Oh, that's right. It was a play. 324 00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:55,603 Excuse me, miss. 325 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:59,440 My rum and coke here tastes an awful lot like coke and coffee. 326 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,692 Oh. Let me smell that. 327 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,697 Oh. That rum smells pretty strong to me. 328 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,491 Hey, you know, 329 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,244 when you can't smell or taste the alcohol, 330 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,912 that's a sign 331 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,623 that you might be having a little a drinking problem. 332 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,458 Excuse me? 333 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,001 I think you ought to get some help. 334 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:21,212 In the meantime, how about another rum and coke? 335 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,256 We just put up a fresh pot. 336 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,507 Forget it. 337 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,468 Look. Everybody is leaving. 338 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:28,761 So? 339 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,264 So if Sam finds out, then he'll know something's wrong. 340 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:32,723 Come on, get those guys. get them back here. 341 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:33,683 Excuse me, sir. 342 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,726 Can I talk to you a minute? 343 00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,363 Wow. What did you say to them? 344 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,865 I just told them that in a few minutes, 345 00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:50,450 you're going to take off your clothes 346 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,617 and dance on the tables 347 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:52,952 in just your bra and panties. 348 00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,998 Good thinking. 349 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,958 You sure everything's okay back here? 350 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,835 Yeah. Everything's just fine. 351 00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,045 Come on, baby! Show us your stuff! 352 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,631 What's that? What are they saying? 353 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,758 It's nothing. I just have some stuff, 354 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,178 and they want to see it. 355 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,055 Go on back in there. Come on. 356 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,599 I'm just about ready to get that beer for you. 357 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,476 Go on. There's more beer on its way. 358 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,813 Carla, take some non-alcoholic beer back there to those guys. 359 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,064 Thought you were gonna do that. 360 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,150 I have a show to do. 361 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,916 Here you go, guys. Your fifth round. 362 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:41,959 Hope you can handle it. 363 00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:43,794 What does that mean, Carla? 364 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:45,505 Nothing. 365 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,340 Wait. What did you put in the beer? 366 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:48,716 Nothing. 367 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:52,887 You know, fellas, 368 00:16:53,054 --> 00:16:54,805 normally, I'm a great believer 369 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,307 in responsible drinking, 370 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,227 but boy, this stuff really goes down easy. 371 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:02,396 And besides, Ma knows I'm out with the boys tonight. 372 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:05,233 If I don't come home with a little glow on, 373 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,776 she'll tease me till I cry. 374 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,030 All right, I call. 375 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:14,116 I got you this time, fellas. Read 'em and weep. 376 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,493 Aces over tens. 377 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:16,994 That's it for me. 378 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:19,372 Oh, I'm sorry, Sam. 379 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,541 I got a couple of pairs, 380 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,501 eights and threes. 381 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:28,005 Woody, aces and tens beat eights and threes. 382 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,840 Oh. I'm sorry. 383 00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:32,093 Here's one more three. full house. 384 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,348 I know I'm the only one laughing, 385 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,685 but believe me, it's really funny. 386 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,021 Woody, you're obnoxious, gloating behavior 387 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,023 is not making you any friends. 388 00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,316 Well, boo-hoo, Dr. Crane. 389 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,026 I can buy new friends. 390 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,737 All right. Deal the cards. 391 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,489 Come on, let's deal the cards. 392 00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,491 Wait a minute. I was looking for the queen of spades here. 393 00:17:55,658 --> 00:17:58,077 And there is no queen of spades in this deck. 394 00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,453 I'm going to count these cards. 395 00:17:59,620 --> 00:18:01,497 Go ahead. Hey, guys. 396 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,458 Is it me or is this beer great? 397 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:10,047 Boy, maybe I should hold off here. 398 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,924 I for one am getting a little buzz on, 399 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,260 I'm here to tell you. 400 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,846 Hey, guys, listen. 401 00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,848 I love you guys. 402 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:22,184 I told you hours ago-- Don't touch me. 403 00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:27,773 As I suspected, there are only 51 cards in this deck. 404 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,358 All right, let's look for the other one. 405 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,402 You bet we're gonna look for it, and we're gonna find it, too, 406 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:33,529 or my name is not Clifford C. Clavin. 407 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,781 Come on, take it easy. You've had a little too much, haven't you? 408 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,700 Well, you relax, buddy boy. 409 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,368 If one of us is cheating, 410 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,412 one of us is not getting out of here alive. 411 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:44,665 Here it is. It's under Sammy's chair. 412 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,751 Oh, Sammy. 413 00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:49,754 If you needed the money, why didn't you just ask? 414 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,549 No one's excusing anyone of cheating. 415 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:54,884 We just have to replay the last hand. 416 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,302 Go ahead and deal them out there, fella. 417 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,263 You want to hurry it up there, Phil? 418 00:18:59,430 --> 00:19:01,390 I've gotta get up early and pack for my weekend in Nantucket. 419 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:03,142 Oh, a little pleasure trip? 420 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,518 No. Lilith's coming. 421 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,564 Five-card showdown, fellas. 422 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,483 All right. 423 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:13,277 Check. 424 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:14,737 Check. 425 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:15,905 Ah. 426 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:18,991 Oh, man. I'm out. 427 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:19,992 I'm out. 428 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,619 For crying out loud. 429 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,579 I'll call. 430 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:25,623 Three Aces. 431 00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:29,794 Read 'em and weep there, buddy boy. 432 00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,380 Cliff. 433 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,049 You got five unmatched cards there. 434 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:36,634 That's right. 435 00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,803 You guys you probably thought I was bluffing. 436 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,888 Come to Papa. 437 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,606 Oh, boy. 438 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,903 I am so glad this night is almost over. 439 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:58,364 I am just wiped out. 440 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,158 You know, Rebecca, you've been through a lot tonight. 441 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:03,077 I was thinking maybe I took advantage of you 442 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,079 when I asked you out. 443 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:07,373 Ever since my wife left me, 444 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:10,918 I've been sort of desperate for female companionship. 445 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,503 I always say the wrong thing. 446 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,922 So what it boils down to is this-- 447 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:18,884 If you'd rather not go out with me, I'd understand. 448 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,428 That's sweet, Paul. 449 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,390 I'd be delighted to go out with you tonight. 450 00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,059 Bring your toothbrush. 451 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,602 Ohh. 452 00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,896 Everything okay? 453 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,274 Would you quit coming in here every five seconds 454 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,234 and asking me if everything's okay. 455 00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:36,861 What is it gonna take 456 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,613 before you believe that everything is just fine? 457 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,033 State Liquor Board. Nobody move. This is a raid. 458 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,452 What the hell's going on here? 459 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:45,995 I'll handle this. I'm the manager. 460 00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,455 We understand you're serving liquor here 461 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:48,456 without a license. 462 00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:51,000 - Who owns this bar? - He does. 463 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,503 What the hell's going on here? 464 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:58,215 Mercy me, what is going on here? 465 00:20:58,382 --> 00:20:59,300 A raid? 466 00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,469 Say it isn't so. 467 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,679 Will someone please tell me 468 00:21:03,846 --> 00:21:06,015 What the hell is going on around here? 469 00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:07,725 I'll tell you, Sam. 470 00:21:07,892 --> 00:21:09,268 A little vent told me 471 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:12,062 your manager let your liquor license expire. 472 00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:16,150 Yes, but we did not serve one drop of liquor here all night long. 473 00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:17,818 You guys can check any glass here. 474 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:21,489 It's clean. 475 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:22,823 You see. 476 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:24,325 I saved the day. 477 00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:26,410 You saved the day? 478 00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:28,037 You wouldn't have had to save the day 479 00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:29,914 if you hadn't screwed it up in the first place. 480 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,707 Come on, what were you thinking? 481 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:34,210 How could you do that? How could you forget something like that? 482 00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:36,086 You know, that could have cost me my bar. 483 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,963 I mean, what do you got, rocks in your head? 484 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,049 You know, I mean, I did mail the thing in, 485 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:41,884 it's just that it came back. I think there was just 486 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,093 something wrong with the stamp. 487 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,012 There's nothing wrong with the stamp, you moron. 488 00:21:45,179 --> 00:21:46,597 It's for 25 cents. 489 00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,015 I put it on myself. 490 00:21:48,182 --> 00:21:50,893 Postage is 29 cents. 491 00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,646 Oh. 492 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:55,356 Well... I'm out of here. 493 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,358 Why don't you go ahead and close up. 494 00:21:57,525 --> 00:21:59,151 After all, you are the manager. 495 00:21:59,318 --> 00:22:00,402 No, hold it a second. 496 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,363 You're the one that screwed up. 497 00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:04,865 I'm the one that saved this bar. 498 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,367 Who's the moron now? 499 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:09,203 You're the one who put this stamp on this letter 500 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,580 while I've been scrambling around this bar tonight 501 00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,040 trying to save it 502 00:22:13,207 --> 00:22:15,084 without breaking one law. 503 00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:16,669 That's right. I did that. 504 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:19,004 Me, Rebecca, the moron. 505 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,507 Well, things are going to change around here. 506 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:22,967 From now on, 507 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:24,093 I want a little respect around this place. 508 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,220 You got that? 509 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:27,805 All right. 510 00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:29,974 Because from this day forward, 511 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,892 I will hold my head up high, 512 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:34,687 Because I am Rebecca Howe. 513 00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:38,107 I am the manager of Cheers. 514 00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:48,492 That's why we always keep the flap up.