1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,421 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,301 Hey, Sammy. 3 00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:10,844 Hey, Tim. 4 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,639 I just heard the news. You had a fire? 5 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,349 Yeah, a couple of weeks ago. 6 00:00:15,933 --> 00:00:17,100 The place looks great. 7 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:18,977 Yeah, thanks a lot. We've been working pretty hard. 8 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,812 We got our grand reopening tonight. 9 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,397 So, how'd the fire start? 10 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,900 Oh, yeah. Glad you asked. Sit down right here. 11 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,319 Right there. Yeah. 12 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:30,155 Rebecca! 13 00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:33,784 Right over there. 14 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,539 I burned down the bar with a carelessly tossed cigarette. 15 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,750 It was a stupid thing to do, 16 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:44,545 and I'll be paying for it for the rest of my life. 17 00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,012 Hey, Sammy. You did a great job on the rebuilding. 18 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,640 The place looks a million times better than it did before. 19 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,183 Thanks, Paul. 20 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,894 Paul told me all about the fire. Gee, that's tough. 21 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,313 Yeah, thank you. You want to hear how it started? 22 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,691 - Yeah, sure. - Great. Sit down. 23 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:08,402 Rebecca! 24 00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,487 Right over there in the sweater. 25 00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:15,867 I burned down the bar with a carelessly tossed cigarette. 26 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,494 It was a stupid thing to do, 27 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,330 and I'll be paying for it for the rest of my life. 28 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,533 - Afternoon, everybody. - Norm! 29 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,994 Hey, Norm, getting ready for the big opening. 30 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,371 It's right here, Sammy. 31 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,123 Start pouring beer in it anytime. 32 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:49,169 Listen, I guess we have to start a new tab, huh? 33 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,505 It's too bad we lost my old bar tab in the fire. 34 00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:57,636 Actually, I had it in the safe. 35 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:58,679 You did? 36 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,472 Why? 37 00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:04,017 Well, to tell the truth, it's kind of my most valuable asset. 38 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,106 I like to think of it as my retirement plan. 39 00:03:10,649 --> 00:03:11,900 One of these days, you'll start paying, 40 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,985 and I can start thinking about retiring. 41 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,739 Yeah, well, I'd make other plans. 42 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,037 Phone company. 43 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,040 - Looking for a Rebecca Howe. - That's me. 44 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,502 Well, hello. 45 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,964 The name's Bernard. 46 00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:37,676 If I'd known you were such a foxy lady... 47 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:41,596 ...I would've worn my clean pants. 48 00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:48,186 Bernard, we need you to get the phones working... 49 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,147 The one here in the bar, one back in the office, 50 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,189 and the pay phone over there. 51 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,233 We haven't had phone service in two weeks. 52 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,319 Relax, pretty lady. I'll give you service. 53 00:03:58,822 --> 00:03:59,698 Get it? 54 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,619 So much for foreplay. 55 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,706 Just fix the phones. 56 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,919 Hey, you still got it with the guys. 57 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,092 Look at this place, huh? 58 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,344 I can't wait to see how surprised Carla will be 59 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,555 when she sees how much work we've done the last couple of weeks. 60 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,182 Where is Carla, anyway? 61 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,977 She took a temporary job over in that new bar on Boylston, 62 00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,480 Mr. Pubb's, one of those chains. 63 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,190 She'll be here for the grand opening, though. 64 00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,066 Yeah, well, I, for one, don't miss her. 65 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,652 That little foul-mouthed, fright-wigged rodent. 66 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,322 Hey, Carla! 67 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:47,412 Hi, guys. 68 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,080 Woody, what are you doing back here? 69 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,665 How come you're not on your honeymoon? 70 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,918 Honeymoon? Is that what you call it 71 00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,795 when two people lock themselves in a room 72 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,422 and refuse to speak or even look at each other? 73 00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,965 No, Wood, that's marriage. 74 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,261 Hey, what happened? 75 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,140 Kelly and I found out we're from different religions. 76 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,434 I thought you and Kelly were both Lutheran. 77 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:11,895 Oh, well, that's what I thought. 78 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,980 Turns out she's the Lutheran Church of America. 79 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,024 I'm Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. 80 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,529 What if we had children? We'd have half-breeds. 81 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:27,661 Woody, very often these problems can be resolved by a group session. 82 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,955 Oh, no. I don't think so, Dr. Crane. 83 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,666 The sight of Kelly with another man would drive me crazy. 84 00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,211 No, Frasier's talking about counseling, Woody. 85 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,213 You are, aren't you? 86 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,173 Counseling, yes. 87 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,174 See? 88 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,886 Perhaps Lilith and I could provide some help. 89 00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,556 Oh, that's nice, Dr. Crane. 90 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,974 I'll ask Kelly... 91 00:05:49,558 --> 00:05:51,893 If she's not too busy begging at airports 92 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,520 or whatever those people do. 93 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,943 I'll be finished in about an hour. 94 00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:01,987 Tell me something. 95 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,364 You ever seen the ceiling of a phone truck? 96 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,327 Listen, buster. 97 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,621 You get my phones working, or I'll come down on you 98 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,624 with a sexual harassment suit that'll make your head spin, 99 00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,877 that is if there's a neck in there somewhere. 100 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,171 All right, all right! 101 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:23,425 Your service will be back on in a couple of hours. 102 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,511 Lesbian, huh? 103 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,851 You'd be surprised how many of those I run into in a day. 104 00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:39,399 Who put a quarter in this bar that I just finished varnishing? 105 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,277 I did. Go ahead. Try to pick it up. 106 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,489 I can't. It's stuck in the varnish. 107 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,534 Right. You can't pick it up no matter how hard you try. 108 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,120 Why don't you guys just go away 109 00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:54,080 and come back tonight for the reopening? 110 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,207 This is the way you treat us? We come in to help you, 111 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,792 and now you kick us out? 112 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,378 Two hours of putting the Indian and wooden lady 113 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,714 in dirty positions is not helping. 114 00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,634 I tell you, fellas. You want to help out? 115 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,510 Why don't you go over and get Carla? 116 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,472 She's at the bar in Boylston, Mr. Pubb's, okay? 117 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,682 Get her back here. I want her an hour early. 118 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,601 We're gonna have that ribbon-cutting ceremony. 119 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:15,936 - Sure thing. - Done. 120 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,688 Say, Normie, want to stop on the way for a sandwich? 121 00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,190 It's three blocks over to Boylston. 122 00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:23,568 No, not to worry, Cliff ie. I stuffed my pockets with pretzels. 123 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,155 Something I learned in the Boy Scouts... You got to be prepared. 124 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:28,698 You were in Boy Scouts? 125 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,408 Yeah, for about a week. Then I quit. 126 00:07:30,575 --> 00:07:31,451 How come? 127 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,370 There was some talk about going on a hike. 128 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:55,141 Hi. Welcome to Mr. Pubb's. 129 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,559 My name is Carla. 130 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,145 I'll be your server for the evening. What can I get you? 131 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,481 A scotch on the rocks. 132 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,108 An excellent choice, sir. 133 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:07,153 That's great, Carla. 134 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,365 That's the first time you did it without the Mr. Pubb's handbook. 135 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:11,950 Bite my pubb! 136 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,705 Well, Carla, you've really come a long way in the past two weeks. 137 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:17,872 Thank you, sir. 138 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,208 Scotch on the rocks for table 12. 139 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,751 Coming right up. 140 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,211 So's my lunch. 141 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:28,967 Boy, oh, boy. 142 00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,761 Does this place have enough neon or what? 143 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,431 It looks like the inside of a UFO in here. 144 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:37,809 No, actually, Norm, they're quite different. 145 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:43,690 I guess. 146 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,568 Welcome to Mr. Pubb's. 147 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,069 Someone will be here in a moment to help you, friend. 148 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,654 We just need a couple of beers. 149 00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,323 From which country? We have over 200 to choose from. 150 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:54,075 What say, Cliff ie? 151 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,577 Once around the world and then home? 152 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,121 All right. 153 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,168 Oh, man, wow! Look at this. 154 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:07,922 Not only do they have a video arcade, but they got 10 big-screen TVs 155 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:09,132 right over there on the wall. 156 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,342 Each one of them televising a different game. 157 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,889 Boy, I bet your neck would get really sore moving your head back and forth 158 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:16,973 from game to game. 159 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:20,351 Try just moving your eyes. 160 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:25,607 Hey, cool. 161 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,529 Well, well, well. 162 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,323 Where's your organ grinder? 163 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:36,659 Right here. 164 00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:42,957 I just mean, don't you feel kind of silly in that outfit? 165 00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,918 Of course I feel silly in this outfit. 166 00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:46,628 I can't wait till my shift ends 167 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,922 so I can get my paycheck and head back to Cheers. 168 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,840 Carla, we have a birthday at table four. 169 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:51,966 A birthday! 170 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,511 A birthday! 171 00:09:58,389 --> 00:10:00,642 If you guys... if you guys ever, 172 00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,937 ever say one word about what you are about to see me do, 173 00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:07,023 the last thing you'll see is me taking a bite 174 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,817 out of your still-beating hearts. 175 00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:14,322 Ready? 176 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,990 One, two, three... 177 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,659 A happy, happy birthday 178 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,202 From Mr. Pubb's to you 179 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,912 A happy, happy birthday 180 00:10:21,079 --> 00:10:22,288 From Mr. Pubb's to you 181 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,373 Hey 182 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,505 Boy... poor, Carla, huh? 183 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:33,007 I'd hate to have a job like that... 184 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:37,220 Wearing a dorky uniform out in public all day. 185 00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,350 There but for the grace of God, huh, Norm? 186 00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,562 Okay, overstuffed potato skins. 187 00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,313 Hey, we didn't make fun of you. 188 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,899 No... these. 189 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,777 These. It's happy hour. They're complimentary. 190 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:55,196 What are you guys doing here, anyway? 191 00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:56,656 Sammy asked us to come by to make sure 192 00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:58,158 you stopped by Cheers early. 193 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,577 I'll tell you, I can't wait to get out of this hellhole. 194 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,787 Carla, can I see you a minute, please? 195 00:11:02,954 --> 00:11:03,872 Yes, sir. 196 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,627 Here's your paycheck for the past two weeks. 197 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,088 You had a rocky start, but at the rate you're improving at, 198 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,716 you might just be up for a promotion in the next month or so. 199 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:16,759 - Seriously? - Here at Mr. Pubb's, we believe 200 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,303 in promoting from within. 201 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,642 I see you noticed our Mr. Pubb's satisfied customer bonus. 202 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,897 I never had a satisfied customer bonus before. 203 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,900 Come to think of it, I never had a satisfied customer before. 204 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,404 By the way, Carla, can you work an extra couple of hours tonight? 205 00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,656 - We're a little shorthanded. - You bet I can. 206 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,783 That's the Mr. Pubb's spirit, Carla. 207 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,038 Hey, listen, guys, something just came up. 208 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,833 You're going to have to tell Sammy that I'm going to be late. 209 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:49,918 What? 210 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,878 Come on, it's Sammy's big opening night. 211 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,421 You're gonna break his heart. 212 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,256 Just tell him I'll explain later. 213 00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:58,760 That's amazing, Norm. 214 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,096 Carla's not going to show up there for Sammy's grand reopening. 215 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,433 Let's go back and break the news to him, I guess. 216 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:09,479 Wahba! Wahba! Wahba, everybody. It's Luau night at Mr. Pubb's, 217 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:12,440 complete with complimentary pu pu platters! 218 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,579 We're not going back to Cheers, are we, Cliff? 219 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,917 No, we are not. 220 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:46,307 Hey, fellas, look what I've got here. 221 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,433 What's that? 222 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,061 The bar business is getting more and more competitive. 223 00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:51,145 I've been racking my brains 224 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:52,605 trying to figure out how I can compete. 225 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,399 I think I've finally got the answer. 226 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:55,984 A toaster oven? 227 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,278 See, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put some saltines in here, 228 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,613 melt some American cheese on top, 229 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,367 serve them to the customers. A buck a plate maybe? 230 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,663 There goes my last reason for staying home. 231 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,499 Sam, you better get started on those. 232 00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,459 The grand reopening is in less than an hour. 233 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,128 Whoa, you're kidding me? 234 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,506 Where the hell are Carla and the other guys? 235 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,050 Hey, do me a favor, will you, fellas? 236 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,177 Will you go over to that Mr. Pubb's place 237 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,096 and bring them all back, please? 238 00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:26,306 I don't know, Sammy. 239 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,933 - It really is kind of far. - Let them come back on their own. 240 00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:32,812 All right, a complimentary plate of cracker snacks for you. 241 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:33,980 What do you say? 242 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:39,986 Each? 243 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,571 All right. All right. 244 00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,073 You drive a hard bargain. Get out of here. 245 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,201 Hi, everyone. 246 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,288 Kelly, I admire you for coming. 247 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:53,041 I believe a marriage is worth saving. 248 00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,667 That's not all she believes. 249 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,627 Ask her why she believes the Book of Concord 250 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,212 and the Scriptures aren't on the same level. 251 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,381 - Go ahead, ask her. - Because they're not. 252 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:04,761 Ask her why the sacraments are considered vehicles of grace. 253 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,513 - Go ahead. I dare you. - They're symbolic memorials. 254 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,598 Heretic! 255 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,058 Now, now... 256 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,852 You two. 257 00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:16,898 Perhaps a page from Frasier's and my personal history 258 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,399 will calm the waters. 259 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,777 Woody... 260 00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:21,986 Kelly... 261 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:25,865 I am Jewish, and Frasier is Episcopalian. 262 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:29,577 Now, originally, we feared this might cause conflict in our marriage, 263 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:31,371 but then we learned to compromise. 264 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:33,748 Even in the raising of our son, Frederick. 265 00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:38,002 We make sure he experiences both sides of his religious heritage. 266 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,089 As usual, my darling wife is right. 267 00:14:41,255 --> 00:14:44,509 Frederick goes to synagogue every Friday night. 268 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:48,513 He delights in hiding matzos at Passover. 269 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:51,099 The family celebrates Hanukkah. 270 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:55,269 Meanwhile, Christmas comes and goes without so much as a tree. 271 00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,480 Odd, really, 272 00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,483 because a Christmas tree isn't even symbolic of Christianity, 273 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:03,653 but apparently it threatens Lilith's Jewish faith. 274 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:06,155 Look out, everybody! A fir tree! 275 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,867 A 5,000-year-old religion, 276 00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:11,244 and Frasier Crane's going to bring it down 277 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,621 with a four-foot tree and some tinsel. 278 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,498 Excuse me. 279 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,835 I'm just not sure how this applies to us. 280 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:23,131 Your religious differences are extremely inconsequential. 281 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:27,093 One is reminded of Gulliver's travels, in which two countries warred 282 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,429 over which side of an egg gets cracked, 283 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,639 the narrow end or the rounded end. 284 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:34,892 That's ridiculous. Of course it's the rounded end. 285 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:38,020 Kelly, I don't even know who you are anymore! 286 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,945 Sam, give me two beers and a scotch on the rocks. 287 00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:51,451 I don't get it. Cheers is opening, and none of my close friends are here. 288 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,454 That's because you've sent everybody over to Mr. Pubb's to get Carla, 289 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,330 who, by the way, is two hours late. 290 00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:00,126 You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of the spooky movie 291 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,253 where those people keep going into the barn, 292 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,880 and then they disappear. 293 00:16:04,755 --> 00:16:07,758 So they send other people to go in there, and they disappear. 294 00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:10,928 Then still others go in the barn, and they disappear. 295 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,054 Then they find out 296 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,724 there's a psycho killer in there stabbing everybody. 297 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,559 What was the name of that movie? 298 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,352 Don't Go in the Barn. 299 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:25,943 This is crazy. 300 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,029 I'm going over there right now and bring them back. 301 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,572 - Hold down the fort, will you? - Okay. 302 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,288 Congratulations on your reopening. 303 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,374 Trust me... 304 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:45,588 ...one lambada with Bernard and you'll never look at another woman. 305 00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,717 You don't get it, do you? 306 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,345 We're born this way. 307 00:17:01,979 --> 00:17:02,897 Wow... 308 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,358 All these big-screen TVs 309 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,735 getting satellite feeds from all over the world. 310 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:10,947 Yeah, well, Normie, it's the information age. 311 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,741 We can receive up-to-the-minute stock prices, 312 00:17:13,908 --> 00:17:15,284 medical breakthroughs, 313 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:18,454 political upheavals from all around the globe. 314 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,999 Of course, we'd have to turn off the cartoons first. 315 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,878 Oh, there you are. Hey, fellas! 316 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,297 - Hey, Sammy! - Sammy! 317 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:31,300 What are you doing here? You're missing, you know, the opening. 318 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,678 - It's that late already? - Is it that late already? 319 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:37,181 You telling me you've just been playing games around here 320 00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:39,850 and watching the TVs? 321 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:43,145 Sam, we got caught up in them. 322 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,773 Sammy, is this place great or what? 323 00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:49,193 So's a little place called Cheers, or have you forgotten? 324 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,237 Did you tell them about the cracker snacks? 325 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,948 I'm talking American cheese on top of some saltines. 326 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:56,951 Maybe 50 cents a plate. Can't beat that, huh? 327 00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,412 Excuse me. Hi! 328 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,039 Happy hour ribs... complimentary. 329 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,085 You were saying, Sammy? 330 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:09,547 Never mind. Never mind. 331 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,925 Hey, Carla, hey... What are you doing? 332 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,803 How come you're still in uniform? You're supposed to be at Cheers. 333 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,305 I'm not going back, Sammy. 334 00:18:17,471 --> 00:18:19,849 - What do you mean? - I want to, I really do, 335 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,809 but they're paying me too much money here. 336 00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:22,977 I can't give it up. 337 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,106 What are you saying? You're saying you're quitting? 338 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,900 When were you going to tell me, never? 339 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,445 I tried to call you, but I couldn't get through. 340 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:35,698 I asked the guys to tell you, but they never went back. 341 00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:37,700 Wait, wait. This is crazy. 342 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:40,244 You and I have been working together for 14 years. 343 00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:42,872 Sammy, can't you be happy for me? 344 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,458 I found a job that pays me a lot of money. 345 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,834 Fine, all right, fine. 346 00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,544 I'll tell you something. You want to quit? 347 00:18:48,711 --> 00:18:50,254 You have the courtesy to come to my bar 348 00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,505 and tell me face-to-face. 349 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,675 Until you do that, I consider you still employed at Cheers. 350 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:57,928 Okay, fine, I'll stop by to quit as soon as I'm off. 351 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,597 - Yeah, you do that. - Okay, I will. 352 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,640 - Fine. - Fine. 353 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,058 Fine back. 354 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,228 Hey, fellas, enjoy the ribs. 355 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:16,739 You know, American cheese is one of the world's finest cheeses. 356 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:21,661 And melted on a saltine, that's a party in your mouth. 357 00:19:23,371 --> 00:19:26,123 Anybody feel like maybe we should walk back to Cheers? 358 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,792 Let's do that, huh? 359 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,922 Wait, wait. Boys, be prepared. 360 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,224 Hey, hey, hey, Carla... Let me get this straight. 361 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,725 You're really not going back to Cheers? 362 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:46,769 I know, it's a lousy job, Norm, 363 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:48,938 but for the amount of money they're throwing at me, 364 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,690 there's nothing I can't take. 365 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:53,943 Carla... 366 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,404 I'm going to put a new trainee with you 367 00:19:56,570 --> 00:19:57,822 for the next two weeks. 368 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,073 She's a bright girl. 369 00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,992 She's an anthropology student at BU. 370 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:03,744 Ellen. 371 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,331 Ellen, come and meet Carla. 372 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,669 Well, you must be Carla. 373 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:17,299 I know what you're thinking. She doesn't look like a waitress. 374 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,011 That's because I'm really a writer. 375 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,390 Or, actuellement... 376 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,975 a poetess. 377 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:40,406 Well, Mr. Missouri Synod, you demanded to see me? 378 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,409 Yeah, Kelly... would you please sit down here? 379 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,411 I have something very important to tell you. 380 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:48,873 Listen... 381 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:53,544 What's gone on these last few days has affected me very deeply. 382 00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:55,296 I love you, Kelly. 383 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,549 That's why I'm now a member 384 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,634 of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, 385 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:01,677 just like you. 386 00:21:01,844 --> 00:21:03,804 Oh, Woody. 387 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,098 You've saved our marriage. 388 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,560 What a wonderful sacrifice. 389 00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,645 Now when we die and go to heaven, 390 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:15,733 we won't be separated by barbed wire and barking dogs. 391 00:21:18,652 --> 00:21:21,280 What was it exactly that saved you, Woody? 392 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,407 It was something Dr. Crane said. 393 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:27,244 That thing about how true love can overcome all differences? 394 00:21:28,412 --> 00:21:30,122 Not exactly. 395 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:32,792 He took me aside and said I'd better get used to giving in to you 396 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,418 on every point for the rest of our lives 397 00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:36,378 if I ever wanted to see you naked again. 398 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:41,842 Well, he is a PhD, you know. 399 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:44,595 Yes, dear. 400 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,639 Shall we resume our honeymoon? 401 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,265 Yes, dear. 402 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,100 Woody... 403 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,561 Today you are a man. 404 00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,647 Yes, dear. 405 00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:59,276 Hey, Carla, I'm so glad you're back. 406 00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:01,070 Yeah, me, too, Sammy. 407 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,198 Why won't you tell me why you left that place? 408 00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:06,951 Sammy, believe me, you're better off not knowing. 409 00:22:08,369 --> 00:22:11,163 Just swear to me you'll never go back in that bar. 410 00:22:12,331 --> 00:22:14,041 You're talking like there was some sort of 411 00:22:14,208 --> 00:22:15,960 psycho killer there or something. 412 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:17,962 If only. 413 00:22:19,547 --> 00:22:22,132 Sammy, just swear to me you won't go back. 414 00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:24,009 Okay, I won't go. 415 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,553 I'm just glad you're here. 416 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,513 Yeah, isn't it funny how things work out? 417 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,849 I mean, you know, if I'd stayed at Mr. Pubb's, 418 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:31,350 I would have made a lot more money, 419 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:33,561 but I never would've met my date for tonight. 420 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:34,979 Your date? 421 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,235 Ready to go, sweetheart? 422 00:22:43,404 --> 00:22:45,489 Last straight broad in America 423 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:47,241 and Bernard's got her.