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Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
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00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:06,632
- Woody's a married man, huh?
- Yeah.
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Yeah, what a lucky guy.
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Indeed, he is.
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There's nothing like wedded bliss.
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Plus, he's got that wedding ring.
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Now, that is a real babe magnet.
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Please, it's an old wives' tale.
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- Not so.
- Yeah?
10
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Oh, it's been scientifically proven
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that women are
more attracted to married men.
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The whole notion is ridiculous.
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Look, I'll... I'll prove it to you.
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You see those two attractive
young females over there?
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I'll go over and hit on them relentlessly,
all the while displaying my wedding ring.
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See how long it takes them
to give me the cold shoulder.
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Hi.
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You two ladies
need some company?
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Oh, sure, I'm married, but,
you know, I'm not dead.
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I figure, well...
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Lilith is here, isn't she?
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- Sam Malone.
- Yeah, over here.
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- GNS Amusements.
- Oh, great.
24
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Sign here, please.
25
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Hey, fellas, listen up, you know how
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I've been trying to hustle up
more business for the bar?
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Well, I think this baby's just the ticket.
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Cheers is now the proud owner
of a blood pressure tester.
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That's... that's great, Sammy.
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I think we ought to get
some velvet ropes outside
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to handle the lines.
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No, no, come on, will you?
Lighten up here, this could be fun.
33
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,549
What the hell is this?
They sent me a slot machine.
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Well, I lived kind of a
sheltered girlhood, but offhand,
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I'd say this looks like
a Gametime model 36X
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with remodeled sprockets,
triple-action tumblers.
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"The Big Boy."
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A slot machine.
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I've never played one of these,
but I've always wanted to.
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Hey, hey, come on, no, don't...
don't do that, please, it's illegal.
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This is the last thing
this bar needs.
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I'm gonna call
and tell them to take it back.
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It's just as well, Rebecca.
44
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These are the devil's own machines.
45
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They systematically rob you
of your cash and your dignity,
46
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one nickel at a time.
Allow me to demonstrate.
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Oh, hey, come on,
Frasier, don't do that.
48
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,173
No, relax, Sam.
This is merely for educational purposes.
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Good-bye, nickel.
50
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Free money!
51
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The doctor is hot!
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Excuse me, sir. I represent
a market research company.
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- We're doing a survey.
- Oh, I'm really not interested.
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- Thanks.
- Okay.
55
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:56,153
- How about you, sir?
- Okay.
56
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,364
We're looking for volunteers
to taste several brands of beer.
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00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:02,033
Excuse me, Paul,
we were having a conversation here.
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You were saying?
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00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,788
Well, if you're available,
just come to this address
60
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- at 2:00 this afternoon.
- 2:00, sure.
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Hey, listen, what exactly do I do?
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Well, you'll be in a room
with several other volunteers,
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00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,257
and you'll be tasting
several varieties of beer.
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We'll pay you for your time.
65
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:19,760
Excuse me, sir.
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00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,305
This is gonna sound
like an odd question, but...
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...by any chance,
were you born in a manger?
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You've been selected
to take part in this study
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00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,780
due to your ages
and your drinking preferences.
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00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,992
Norm, there seems to be a typo
here on your average beer intake.
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00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:48,830
Wow.
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00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,250
Now, gentlemen,
I'd like you to each take a sip
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from sample A
and give me your impressions.
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00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,632
Ray, what do you think?
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00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,217
Would you serve this beer
in your home?
76
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,676
Yeah, sure.
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00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,055
- And Chuck?
- Very tasty...
78
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,474
Good aftertaste, too.
79
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:10,101
- And Norm.
- I don't know.
80
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,395
Didn't you just drink some?
81
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,856
Yeah, but it wasn't in my mouth
long enough to really taste it.
82
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,985
Hold it in your mouth a little longer.
83
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,738
Try savoring it for a second,
and then swallow it.
84
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,327
This is great.
85
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,497
Wow, does anyone else know
about this savoring thing?
86
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,504
Now try to describe the taste.
87
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:42,509
Well, it's kind of sweet,
but kind of tangy, too.
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00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,594
- You know what I mean?
- Yeah... very observant.
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00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,263
- Yeah.
- What about sample B?
90
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,394
It's kind of tart.
91
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,022
Actually, I thought
it was kind of sweet.
92
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:59,192
No, no, fellas. It's really... it's...
it's more of a smoky thing.
93
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,652
- Right again.
- Yeah.
94
00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:02,863
That's the new mash
that they're using.
95
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,364
You're amazing, Norm.
96
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,243
- What about, sample C?
- Let's see.
97
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,582
Now, this one misses for me, okay?
98
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,292
It's like the carbonation is...
99
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,919
Is fighting the flavor,
and the flavor is losing.
100
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:20,338
This is really getting too easy for me.
101
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,549
You want to challenge me a bit here?
102
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,635
Okay.
103
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,179
Let's try samples D through V.
104
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,390
Oh, D through V.
Now, hang on a second.
105
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,309
I may need to cleanse my palate.
106
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:33,977
Do you have any pizza?
107
00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:46,156
Oh, Carla, you're not supposed
to be playing that, it's illegal.
108
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So is watering drinks.
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Good luck to you.
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Come to mama.
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00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,508
Come on, come on, come on.
112
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,094
Darn it, this machine hates me!
113
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,597
Say, Rebecca, can I give it a try?
114
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,642
Go ahead, Paul.
It's obviously empty.
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Hey, hey.
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Wow!
117
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Nine nickels.
118
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,365
Hey, I wonder, if those chicks
over there saw me win, huh?
119
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:29,824
Yeah, Paul.
120
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,453
I'm sure the lack of that 45 cents
is what kept you out of that ménage.
121
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,709
Come on... come on.
122
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Be there, be there.
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Damn!
124
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What is wrong with this machine?
125
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,718
Frasier won, Paul won, Carla won.
126
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Maybe it just hates women.
127
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- Afternoon, everybody.
- Norm!
128
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What's the story, Norm?
129
00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,603
Boy meets beer.
Boy drinks beer.
130
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,146
Boy gets another beer.
131
00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,817
In this performance, the role of the boy
will be played by Norm Peterson.
132
00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,904
Sammy, I want you to pour a round
for the house and put it on my tab.
133
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,323
Oh, thank you.
134
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,616
What's the occasion there, big guy?
135
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:12,784
Well, I think I got a job.
136
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,244
- Hey, all right, Normie.
- All right, everybody.
137
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,579
Stand back,
I'll take care of this.
138
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,208
All right, mister, I don't know
what pod you crawled out of...
139
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,628
...but you're not welcome
in our world.
140
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,714
Now, go in peace
and give us our Normie back.
141
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:30,176
Seriously, remember that beer
tasting survey group?
142
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Turns out they value
my opinion so much,
143
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,471
they want me to try
out at the brewery.
144
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:34,806
All right.
145
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,183
Who'd have thought I have
a knack for something?
146
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,853
Okay, now, listen up, you.
147
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:45,108
This is my last nickel.
Now, I'm not asking for a lot.
148
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,318
I just want you to hit, just once.
149
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,570
Please... for me.
150
00:08:54,743 --> 00:08:57,287
Why do you hate me?
151
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,748
- Becs.
- What?
152
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:01,708
- Come here.
- What do you want?
153
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,046
You are acting crazy.
154
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,715
You're standing there
talking to a machine,
155
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,426
pretending like it cares
who's feeding it nickels.
156
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,220
It doesn't have anything
against you personally.
157
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,556
You're right. Thank you.
158
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,807
And why are you whispering?
159
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:21,394
I don't want it to hear
me talking to you.
160
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,074
Pardon me, are you Mike?
161
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,825
Hey, you must be
the new guy, Norm?
162
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,702
- Yeah, hi.
- Yeah, I'll be your supervisor.
163
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:38,703
Oh, great.
164
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,164
I was looking over
your sample comments,
165
00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:44,292
and, well, must say
they're very impressive.
166
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,961
- Thank you.
- Now, remember, this is just a trial,
167
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,630
but I think you're gonna do great.
168
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:51,049
- Thanks, sir.
- The job's very simple.
169
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,260
You'll drink random samples of beer
off the line and give us your opinion.
170
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,345
That's it.
171
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,347
Well...
172
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,641
You ready to see
the brewery, Norm?
173
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,935
Oh, I've been ready for 43 years, sir.
174
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,650
You'll be sampling beer
175
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,735
and submitting your comments
to the master brewer
176
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,446
who will evaluate them,
and in turn, he'll...
177
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,784
Are you... are you crying, Norm?
178
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:21,955
Nah, just got something
in my eye there.
179
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:23,832
I'll get you a Kleenex.
180
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,676
Honey, I'm home.
181
00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:23,850
Hey, Mike.
182
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,686
Look, if you don't mind,
I'm gonna knock off for lunch, okay?
183
00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:27,729
Yeah, sure.
184
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,689
You had a great first week, Norm.
185
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:33,526
You don't have to tell me, sir.
It was the happiest week of my life.
186
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:36,487
- Here you go, Norm.
- Huh? What's this?
187
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:37,906
It's your paycheck.
188
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,782
Oh, no, sir, I couldn't.
189
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,327
No, no, absolutely not, not for this.
190
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:43,995
- Go ahead, take it!
- Really?
191
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:45,914
You've earned it.
You know, you were right
192
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,124
about that timer being off
on number three tank.
193
00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:49,250
That's...
194
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,544
That's something our computer
should have picked up a long time ago.
195
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,255
Well, sir, a computer can't love.
196
00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,300
As far as I'm concerned,
the job is yours.
197
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:58,760
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
198
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,678
- There's just one more thing.
- Yeah?
199
00:12:00,845 --> 00:12:02,222
- It's mostly a formality...
- Yeah.
200
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,766
...but, well, you have
to meet with Mr. Hoff me yer,
201
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,226
the president of the brewery.
202
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,853
Now, if Hoff me yer likes you,
well, you're all set.
203
00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:11,898
- What kind of guy is he?
- Oh, he's... a bit of a tough cookie,
204
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:15,318
but if you take your work seriously,
you'll do just fine.
205
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:16,986
Okay. Well, I'd be glad to meet the guy.
206
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:18,738
- Good.
- Listen, if you don't mind right now,
207
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,531
I've been tasting beer
all morning, okay?
208
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:23,284
So, I'm just gonna take a break,
change my clothes
209
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,661
and go over to Cheers
and hoist a few.
210
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,579
You're...
211
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,206
You're kidding, right?
212
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:29,832
Yeah. These clothes will be fine.
213
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,302
Come on. Big money.
214
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:50,103
Come on. Big money.
215
00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,398
Oh, show me I'm not a loser.
216
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,984
Can't believe
you're still playing this thing.
217
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,570
Sam, I have pulled
that handle 578 times,
218
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,322
and this machine
has given me nothing.
219
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,949
Well, may... maybe it's broken.
220
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,701
Let me try it here. Give me that.
221
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,128
No. No. It's you, all right.
222
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,597
Come on. Big money.
223
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,559
I hate to see her beating
herself up like that.
224
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:30,768
Yeah, I agree.
225
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:34,022
If there was just some way
that she could win, even once.
226
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:38,818
It might serve to break her fatalism
and bolster her self-esteem.
227
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:43,406
Plus, maybe then I'd get a shot,
cause I am hot, hot, hot!
228
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,243
Well, there must be some way
we can fix that machine
229
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,828
so you can win just one time.
230
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,330
Now you're good
at this stuff, Carla.
231
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,957
- Can't you rig it?
- Why should I?
232
00:13:53,124 --> 00:13:56,044
Well, because she'd
feel better about herself,
233
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,545
you know, maybe even feel happy.
234
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,756
No, really. Why should I?
235
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:05,511
Because there's
a $20 bill in it for you.
236
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,554
Deal.
237
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,433
I'd have done it for ten.
No wonder you're going out of business.
238
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,605
- Afternoon, everybody.
- Norm!
239
00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,357
A little bus man's holiday, Norm?
240
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:19,734
No. None of those fancy drinks
for me, Sammy.
241
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:20,818
Just give me a beer.
242
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,279
See this, boys? Huh?
243
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:24,989
An actual paycheck.
244
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,116
Tell you what, Sammy.
245
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,952
Earning a salary does something
for a guy's self-esteem.
246
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:34,123
For the first time in years,
I'm actually making an honest living.
247
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,250
Oh, look at that.
248
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,503
This says Norm Peterman.
249
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,589
That's cause Norm Peterson
is still drawing unemployment, thank you.
250
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,218
Well, Norm, I must say
I've never seen you look happier
251
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,969
- or more fulfilled.
- Well, thanks, Fras.
252
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,763
I still don't have
the job officially yet.
253
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,223
I got to meet the
president of the brewery.
254
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,309
But I tell you what,
I feel like I've found my calling.
255
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,852
That's a wonderful feeling, isn't it?
256
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,896
You know, I remember
the first day I decided
257
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,023
to go into the healing arts.
258
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,652
Yeah, just the thought
of helping my fellow man...
259
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,031
...it gave me a sense of purpose,
a mission in life.
260
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,451
Oh, surprise, surprise!
261
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,954
Mrs. Davis.
"I had a bad childhood."
262
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,164
Join the club, sister!
263
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,251
I'm all out of nickels.
Does anybody have a nickel?
264
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:20,628
Hey, hey, where's
that tip jar of Carla's?
265
00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:23,506
- No.
- Well, I would pay her back.
266
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,716
Going a little bit
overboard here, aren't you?
267
00:15:25,883 --> 00:15:27,802
After all, it's just
a silly little machine.
268
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:31,514
It's not a silly machine, Norman.
It is... It is a metaphor for life.
269
00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,974
It is. Everybody gets
to pull the handle,
270
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,768
and sometimes they win,
and sometimes they lose.
271
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,854
But I always lose.
272
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:42,483
I pull the handle,
and I get cherry, lemon, bell!
273
00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,571
Rebecca, has it ever occurred
to you that maybe the reason
274
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,990
you always lose is because
you think you're going to lose?
275
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,284
Oh, don't give me that crap!
276
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,202
I tried that positive thinking stuff,
277
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,621
and I knew it wouldn't work,
and sure enough, it didn't!
278
00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:58,499
You are overanalyzing things.
279
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:01,878
You got to live in the moment.
Take life as it comes, okay?
280
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,255
You start thinking too much,
everything falls apart.
281
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,967
Norm, how do you not
think too much?
282
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,262
You're getting ready
for the biggest interview of your life!
283
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:14,098
If I were you,
I would be a nervous wreck.
284
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,144
You know, I had a shot at my dream job.
285
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:19,437
Yeah?
286
00:16:19,604 --> 00:16:21,314
And I did really, really well.
287
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:25,026
And then it came time for me
to meet the big boss, and I choked.
288
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,613
I went in, and I complimented him,
289
00:16:28,779 --> 00:16:30,823
and then I realized,
"Oh, God, I'm kissing up."
290
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,200
So I took back the compliment,
291
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,202
and then it looked
like I was insulting him.
292
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,873
So then I started telling jokes,
and they were really bad.
293
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,834
And then, the next thing I knew,
294
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,253
I was singing
295
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,715
"knick Knack Paddy Whack" song.
296
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:53,429
And I was just singing
and singing at the top of my lungs.
297
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:57,767
And I just kept burying myself
deeper and deeper.
298
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,937
And I lost my dream job.
299
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,607
And when I walked out
300
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,320
of that House of Pancakes,
I felt two inches tall.
301
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,454
Well, Rebecca, that's about
the most depressing thing
302
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:19,789
I've ever heard in my life.
303
00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:22,667
Hey, don't... Norm, don't listen to me.
304
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,336
It'll just bring you down.
And you know what?
305
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,089
I've been a jinx my entire life,
306
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,716
but that's me, that isn't you.
307
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,345
- You're gonna do great.
- Thanks.
308
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,515
- Good luck.
- Well, thanks a lot, Rebecca.
309
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,309
And for what it's worth,
I don't think you're a jinx, all right?
310
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,602
Thanks.
311
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:01,747
Ah, Norm.
312
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,417
Mr. Hoffmeyer's on his way.
313
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,502
Now remember,
this is just a formality.
314
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,337
He's heard all kinds
of good things about you,
315
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,715
and, well, I'm sure
that as soon as he meets you,
316
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,258
you'll be a permanent part
of this brewery.
317
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,510
You seem a little nervous.
Are you, Norm?
318
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,137
No. No.
319
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,681
Oh, Mr. Hoff me yer,
320
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:20,850
I'd like you to meet
our star taster, Norm.
321
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,268
Norm, Mr. Hoff me yer.
322
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,979
Norm, I hear you're doing
excellent work for us.
323
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,355
Thank you very much, sir.
324
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,192
Nice pants.
325
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:33,821
I can't believe I just said that.
326
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,906
Look, I'm not trying to kiss up, sir.
327
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,242
I take back what I said
about those pants, okay?
328
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,412
Not that they're not nice pants.
I mean, of course they are.
329
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,623
They're great pants, you know.
I just don't want you to think
330
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,708
that all I'm doing is
looking at your pants.
331
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:47,960
I'm also looking at your face, sir,
332
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,963
and your shirt, your tie,
all of which are lovely.
333
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,758
Like a manly kind of lovely.
You know what I mean?
334
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,802
Good Lord, I'm not making
much sense, am I, sir?
335
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,763
Let me just start all over again.
336
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:00,473
Hello. My name is Norm Pants.
337
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:03,976
That didn't come
out right, either, did it?
338
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,395
I'm gonna laugh
about that one tonight, sir.
339
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,813
And I'm sure you will, too,
340
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,899
when you take those
pants off tonight.
341
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:13,861
Not that I'm thinking about you
taking your pants off, sir!
342
00:19:14,028 --> 00:19:15,738
Nothing could be
further from the truth!
343
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,239
I mean, well, now,
don't get me wrong.
344
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:19,867
It's not like I would be grossed out
if you took your pants off.
345
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,912
Go ahead, run around
naked for all I care!
346
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:24,830
After all, you'll do
whatever you want to do.
347
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,957
You're Mr. Hoff me yer,
for crying out loud!
348
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,586
Oh, come on, lighten up, will you?!
349
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:32,254
Why are you such a sourpuss?
350
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:35,841
Come on. What's it going to take
to put a smile on that face, huh?
351
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,011
With a knick knack paddy whack,
Give a dog a bone
352
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,848
This old man came rolling home!
353
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,478
Sorry about the job there, Norm.
354
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:49,897
Oh, don't worry about it, Cliff.
What are you going to do?
355
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,525
I had my dream job
for a week, and I lost it.
356
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,236
But you've got to look on the...
on the bright side, you know.
357
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,987
I mean, somebody could
walk up to me tomorrow,
358
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,114
tap me on the shoulder, say,
359
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,950
"Hey, we want you to sample
various types of pretzels."
360
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:02,785
You know?
361
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,161
Or pizza.
362
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,122
Could happen.
363
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,082
Maybe, big guy.
364
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:11,460
Well, I did it.
I rigged the machine.
365
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,087
The next person who pulls that handle
366
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,005
is going to be up
to their knees in nickels.
367
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:16,257
All right, now, don't you feel good?
368
00:20:16,424 --> 00:20:18,092
I mean, doesn't it
make you feel happy
369
00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,010
to know you did something
for a fellow human being?
370
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,012
Isn't that what life's
really all about?
371
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,390
You don't have
my 20 bucks, do you, Sam?
372
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,100
It's been kind of
a slow week, honey. I...
373
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:28,018
Now, wait, wait, wait.
374
00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:31,897
Norm.
375
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:36,986
I just wanted to tell you how sorry
I am about this afternoon.
376
00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,905
Rebecca, for the hundredth
time, please relax.
377
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,198
It wasn't your fault.
378
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,409
I did it myself.
I choked under pressure.
379
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:47,830
Well, I felt so guilty that I went out
and got us this quart of ice cream.
380
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,173
This is what we losers do, Norm.
381
00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,428
We just drown our sorrows in ice cream.
382
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:05,514
But you know what?
383
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,975
At least we're not alone.
384
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:09,935
We have each other.
385
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,021
You're not going to
kiss me again, are you?
386
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,607
Cause I still have to drive home.
387
00:21:17,193 --> 00:21:18,277
Oh! Hey, look at that.
388
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:20,613
These are nickels, I guess, huh?
389
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,365
Say, why don't you play
the slot machine one more time?
390
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:25,826
Because I will lose.
Where have you been all week?
391
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,328
No. You know,
I feel good about this.
392
00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,205
Why don't you give it
one more shot?
393
00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:30,790
- No.
- Oh, come on!
394
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,500
What's it gonna take
for you to understand
395
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:33,959
that I will never win?
396
00:21:34,752 --> 00:21:36,170
- All right, fine, fine.
- Come on.
397
00:21:36,337 --> 00:21:40,424
Everybody step up while Lady Luck
thumbs her nose at Rebecca Howe.
398
00:21:50,684 --> 00:21:52,269
I got my nickel back.
399
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,814
I thought that thing
was supposed to pay off.
400
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,399
It's been paying off all week.
I guess it's empty.
401
00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,860
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Sorry?
402
00:22:01,070 --> 00:22:03,113
This has never
happened to me before.
403
00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:07,451
I broke even.
404
00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,038
I've never broken even before.
405
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:13,207
I'm not a loser.
406
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:15,709
I'm a break-evener.
407
00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:20,047
Norm is a loser.
See him eating his ice cream?
408
00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:25,636
You know what this means?
It means that my life isn't so terrible.
409
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:28,013
It's... It's so-so!
410
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:31,350
Isn't this great?!
411
00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:33,727
Hey, guys,
412
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:35,896
did Rebecca call me a loser?
413
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,691
I'm afraid so, Norm.
414
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,860
Good. I thought she said,
"Leave me some."