1 00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:04,338 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,049 This is the third time we've been here in two weeks, Sam. 3 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:08,884 Any idea why you're having so many fights? 4 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:11,637 Yeah. Yeah. Ever since that biker bar closed down, 5 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:13,305 we're getting these big apes coming in here. 6 00:00:13,472 --> 00:00:14,723 What are we supposed to do? 7 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,225 Be grateful. 8 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:21,813 You know something, if you'd get over here when I called you, 9 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,398 none of this would have happened. 10 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,109 Aw, look at this. Woody. 11 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,694 Aw, man, are you all right? 12 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:28,946 Yeah, I'm okay. 13 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,406 See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. 14 00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,408 We're gonna have to file an injury report. 15 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,285 You bet you are. Tell him. Tell him what happened. 16 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:38,080 I was downstairs getting a case of scotch, 17 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,165 and there's that one low beam. 18 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,668 What happened here? 19 00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:33,635 Can you believe this guy winning 12 million bucks in the lottery? 20 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,220 I mean, talk about beating the odds. 21 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,472 Yeah. You want to talk about beating the odds, 22 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,601 my Uncle Spence fell 20,000 feet from an airplane 23 00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,477 and hit the only pile of hay for two miles. 24 00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:45,647 Jeez. He must be the luckiest man on Earth. 25 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,692 Well, not really. He went through the propeller first. 26 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,617 There's the scariest human being I've ever seen in my life. 27 00:01:57,326 --> 00:02:01,496 Boy, yeah. Remind me to congratulate the doctor who created him. 28 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:02,789 Who's Sam? 29 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,500 Yeah, that's me. Are you Tiny? I'll be right with you. 30 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,085 Uh, Sam, you ought to think about 31 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,920 wearing those reading glasses all the time. 32 00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:10,047 That guy's huge. 33 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,385 No, no, no. It's his name. Tiny's his name. 34 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,429 He was the bouncer at that biker bar. 35 00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,431 I figure if we're going to have that crowd in here, 36 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,683 I might as well have him around. What do you think? 37 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,144 Oh, please, Sam. If I promise to feed him, 38 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,270 can I keep him? 39 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,689 I'll ask him. Hey, Tiny, 40 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,776 why don't you fill out this application so I can start checking your references? 41 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:33,195 That's nuts. Sam's wasting his money. 42 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,572 I could have done that job. 43 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:38,158 Sure. I'm taking karate down at the Y-- 44 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,618 The Y. 45 00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,665 So, Tiny, huh? 46 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,041 That's a pretty funny nickname, 47 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,292 given, you know, how big you are. 48 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,087 Why? You making fun of my name? 49 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,005 You think I got a joke name? 50 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,591 You think I'm some kind of joke? 51 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,927 Tell Vera I loved her. 52 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,054 Hey, wait. Whoa. Excuse me here. 53 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:00,764 Tiny, there, my main man. 54 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,432 Step into my office. 55 00:03:02,599 --> 00:03:03,725 I'll take care of this, Normie. 56 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,269 You see, Tiny, uh, you know, 57 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,147 calling you Tiny, a guy of your, you know, girth, 58 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,275 is what we in the comedy profession call a juxtaposition. 59 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,947 Okay? Juxtaposition. 60 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:20,200 See, it's, uh... calling a bald guy Curly, 61 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,410 fat guy Slim, 62 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:22,953 tall guy... 63 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,206 Shorty, see? 64 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,666 I like that. You're smart. 65 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,543 Why, thank you. 66 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,254 No. That's your new nickname. Get it? 67 00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:33,505 I made a joke. 68 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,884 And a fine joke it is, too, sir. 69 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,430 Hey, guys. 70 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,265 Now, I know you sent me out for snack food, 71 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:45,767 but I found this place called The Healthy Alternative. 72 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,145 They have all your favorite munchies, only organic, 73 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,731 with tofu and soy and that sort of thing. 74 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,484 So I drove right past it, went to the grocery store 75 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:55,986 and got you a big box of Fiddle Faddle. 76 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:03,702 Lilith, I'm so jealous of you. 77 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,245 Excuse me? 78 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:07,456 I saw you outside. 79 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,040 After seven years of marriage, 80 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:10,709 how do you guys keep your relationship so hot? 81 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:12,419 I don't know what you mean. 82 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,547 Outside, I saw you in the car. 83 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,507 You were all over him. 84 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,301 God, it was great. 85 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:20,802 You were steaming up the windows 86 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,345 like a couple of teenagers. 87 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,097 Well, I've just won five games in a row. 88 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,390 When you're hot, you're hot! 89 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,602 Oh, hi, Buttercup. 90 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,228 Now that's odd. 91 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,314 He's here. I just saw you two out in the... 92 00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:33,607 Oh, my God. 93 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,777 What's the matter? 94 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,738 Nothing. Rebecca and I just have to have a little talk in the office. 95 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,072 - It's private. - Oh, my God. 96 00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:42,574 Anything I can help with? 97 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,367 No. I can handle it ably on my own. 98 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,619 Well, I'm here if you need me. 99 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,997 Lilith, I don't want to hear this. 100 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,415 Calm down, Rebecca. 101 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,709 I've got enough to deal with without you going berserk on me. 102 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,503 Yes, that was me you saw in the car, 103 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,463 and obviously the man with me was not Frasier. 104 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,340 Lilith, you are having an affair! 105 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,634 It isn't an affair. It was a one-time fling. 106 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,345 I've been working side by side with this man for months, 107 00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:06,556 and I'm afraid our latent desires just got the better of us. 108 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,643 It's the old story, one moment we were feeding the lab rats, 109 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,270 and the next thing we knew, we were in a hotel room. 110 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,943 What you saw was me saying good-bye to him. 111 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,611 Well, then he must be hard-of-hearing. 112 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,488 You had his ear in your mouth. 113 00:05:24,199 --> 00:05:26,034 We both know it was a mistake. 114 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:27,619 It will never happen again. 115 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,621 What are you gonna do now? 116 00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,164 There's only one thing I can do. 117 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,624 I have to tell Frasier. 118 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:36,753 Now until I find the time to tell him in my own way, 119 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,382 you must promise me you're not going to say anything to him about this. 120 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,968 How the hell am I going to do that? 121 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,427 What? 122 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,555 Because this is juicy stuff. 123 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,182 The more I'm sitting here thinking that I should keep my mouth shut, 124 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,726 the more I want to just go out there and blab it all over. 125 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,187 I know that's wrong, but it's just me. 126 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,190 Please, Rebecca, you only have to control yourself for a little while. 127 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,277 Frasier and I are going to have dinner with another couple up at Melville's, 128 00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,071 and as soon as it's over, I'll break it to him. 129 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,656 Lilith, you have a big problem. 130 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:08,368 Yes, I know. My entire marriage is on extremely shaky ground. 131 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,496 No, I mean you only have about an hour until I blow. 132 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,800 Hi. Welcome to Cheers. 133 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:26,177 You want to feel the plate in my head? 134 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,680 I can make it move. 135 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:33,310 No. We're just looking for friends, and they're not here. So bye. 136 00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:37,564 Sammy, that guy's making me a little nervous, okay? 137 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,107 What are you talking about? The guy's great. 138 00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,444 He's already stopped two fights, keeping everybody in line. 139 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:45,030 Best of all, he thinks minimum wage is $2.00 an hour. 140 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:50,619 What? You're cheating him out of 50 cents an hour? 141 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,080 Boy, I'll tell you, having Tiny in this bar 142 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:57,167 is about the most exciting thing that's happened around here in a long time. 143 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:00,712 Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. 144 00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,923 I think the most exciting thing, 145 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,424 contrary to your belief, Carla, 146 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,968 was when Sammy fiddled around with the cable box, 147 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:10,221 and we were able to get the playboy channel all day long. 148 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,891 Well, you know, some people that didn't know any better 149 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,935 might think that that was interesting. 150 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:19,481 How about last week when Phil told us that he did time? 151 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,818 - That was juicy. - Yeah. 152 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,654 Oh, yeah. Real juicy. 153 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,656 I don't think so. 154 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,368 What are you trying to say, Rebecca? 155 00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,120 I'm trying to say that I have got major dish 156 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,540 bottled up inside me, and it's just dying to get out. 157 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,793 All right. Here it comes. I can feel it. 158 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,962 It's coming up through my chest. 159 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,464 I feel it in my throat. 160 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:45,674 It's-- 161 00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,929 Lilith is having an affair. 162 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,646 So, Phil, what did you do time for? 163 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,440 I held up a Piggly Wiggly. 164 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:06,903 Can I now get on with my life, please? 165 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,535 Is the, uh, TV too loud for you folks? 166 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:17,163 Tiny, TV's not actually on. 167 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:21,167 Then why do I keep hearing the Kill 'Em, Tiny Show? 168 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,342 Sammy, you heard that. 169 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,302 The guy is nuts. 170 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,596 Maybe you're right. Maybe I should just talk to him. 171 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:35,223 Tiny, can I talk to you for a second? 172 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:36,266 Yo. 173 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,643 How are you doing? 174 00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,228 Uh, great, Sam. 175 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:41,771 Listen, don't you worry. 176 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,690 There won't be trouble in here while I'm around. 177 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,442 I just hope somebody tries. 178 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,445 You want me to tell you what I'm gonna do if somebody starts some trouble? 179 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,321 Uh, no, actually, 180 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,240 I don't think I want to hear that, man. 181 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:55,785 Okay. But I did draw you a picture. 182 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,955 Well, okay. 183 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,833 Oh, my God. 184 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,501 Uh... 185 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:07,130 So did you want to tell me something? 186 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:08,882 Uh, no, no. 187 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,009 Uh, just, uh, carry on, carry on. 188 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,719 Okay. 189 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,514 Carla. 190 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,142 Look what this guy drew. 191 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,102 That's nothing. 192 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,979 I got worse than that on my refrigerator. 193 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:27,442 Here is my question. 194 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:31,279 I had the seafood salad. You had the poached salmon. 195 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,615 Neither of us had any appetizers. 196 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,617 They had appetizers and soup 197 00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,577 and the lobster special, 198 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,454 and yet we split the meal 50-50. 199 00:09:39,621 --> 00:09:41,748 Now, am I wrong or did we just get royally ripped? 200 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,667 Frasier, we need to talk. 201 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:47,212 You're darn right we do. I don't know if I want them as friends anymore. 202 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:50,048 No, I mean I have to tell you something that's rather serious. 203 00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,132 What is it, Lilith? 204 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,718 In fact, I dare say you're gonna find it extremely upsetting. 205 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,761 All right. 206 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,262 Well, I think we should discuss it at home. 207 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,680 No, no, Lilith. 208 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,641 You just don't tell someone that you're going to upset them 209 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:00,975 and then just let them dangle. 210 00:10:00,975 --> 00:10:02,018 Whatever it is, just tell me right now. 211 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,854 I'll be upset, then I'll get over it, we can go on with our lives. 212 00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:06,481 Please, let's just go home. 213 00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:08,733 No, Lilith, I want to know right now. 214 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:12,904 All right, if you must know immediately, I'll tell you. 215 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,322 Have a seat. 216 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,159 Oh, great. It's "have a seat" bad. 217 00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:24,624 Just give me a minute to brace myself. 218 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:29,712 I know. I'll simply imagine the worst thing you could possibly tell me, 219 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:33,925 and whatever your news is, it will pale by comparison. 220 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:37,512 In fact, whatever it is, it'll be a relief. 221 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,222 Okay. Okay, uh... 222 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,432 what is the worst thing I can imagine? 223 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,312 All right. I've got it. Lilith, your news, please. 224 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:53,945 This afternoon, in a moment of extreme weakness... 225 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,448 I cheated on you. 226 00:10:57,448 --> 00:11:00,410 That was it! That was the worst thing! 227 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,911 Try to remain calm. 228 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,789 How can I remain calm when you tell me you've slept with another man? 229 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,624 You slut! 230 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,131 I-- I-- I can't believe that. 231 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,971 I knew the whole time. 232 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,682 I have known it for over an hour, 233 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,767 and I didn't say a word to anybody. 234 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,770 I kept the secret 235 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:28,855 I kept-- 236 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,399 Tragic, isn't it? 237 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,457 You're still angry, aren't you? 238 00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,125 How can you tell? 239 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,502 The fact that this park bench 240 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,338 used to be chained to that cement block 241 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:56,007 next to the Statue of George Washington. 242 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,968 I wanted to be alone. 243 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,392 This is a very serious matter, Frasier. 244 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,937 Yes, it is serious, Lilith. 245 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:12,649 However, I will refrain from indulging in the clichéd reactions... 246 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:17,654 The rage, the crying, the screaming, the hurling of epithets, 247 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:21,407 tramp, whore, slut, floozy, bitch, ad infinitum. 248 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,495 You did call me slut. 249 00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:29,332 Yes, but I didn't call you a tramp, whore, floozy, or bitch. 250 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:33,211 I have too much respect for you, even though you have been a slut. 251 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:39,467 Of course you deserve to know everything that happened, and why. 252 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:40,885 All I want to know is who. 253 00:12:41,052 --> 00:12:43,513 Who it is doesn't matter. This is about us. 254 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,599 The identity of the other person is irrelevant. 255 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,601 Fine, Lilith. I respect that. 256 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,729 It'll be just one more... secret between us, 257 00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,773 one more brick in the wall. 258 00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:55,692 All right. 259 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,153 It was my colleague, 260 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,658 the distinguished research scientist Dr. Louis Pascal. 261 00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:05,451 The bald guy? 262 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,661 Frasier... 263 00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:12,792 I never meant to hurt you, but for so long now, I have felt so alone. 264 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,878 It seems we can't talk without getting into a fight. 265 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,048 Even the smallest conversation erupts into bickering. 266 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,801 - Just goes on... - I see what's going on here! 267 00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,511 I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner. 268 00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:24,762 I'm such a dope! 269 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,681 What are you talking about? 270 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,058 - You're in your mid-30s, right? - Yes. 271 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,020 It's perfectly natural for you to be examining your life right now. 272 00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:35,148 You're comparing the expectations you had of yourself in the past 273 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,567 with what you've actually achieved up to now. 274 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:40,236 - Frasier, that-- - Wait. Let me finish. 275 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:43,406 And how many years have we been married? Seven. 276 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:48,119 Perfect time for you to be re-examining our relationship. 277 00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:50,288 You're practically a cliché! 278 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:51,831 Frasier, I am not a cliché. 279 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,915 - I'm talking about-- - Oh, please! 280 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,167 You got hit with the old double whammy. 281 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:57,045 Of course you had a fling! And why wouldn't you? 282 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,255 Thank God! For a while, I thought we had a problem! 283 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,007 Frasier, you're not listening to me. 284 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,800 "You're not listening to me.' Right out of the textbook. 285 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,761 I can't tell you how annoying this is. 286 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:08,097 Of course you can. Volumes have been written on how annoying analysis can get. 287 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:09,974 Frasier, I'm gonna ask you one more time. 288 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:12,935 This is our marriage we're talking about, our lives. 289 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,481 Stop being a psychiatrist and start being my husband. 290 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,111 All right, Lilith. 291 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,530 I'll be your husband. 292 00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,375 For seven years now, 293 00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:37,752 we've tried to build something together, 294 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,463 and I think we've done a pretty good job. 295 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,132 It's not worth throwing it all away 296 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:46,594 on something so empty, meaningless, and unfulfilling. 297 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:48,805 Actually... 298 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,431 Look, I don't want to hear it! 299 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,310 Frasier, don't you see that this incident 300 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,688 is symptomatic of much larger problems? 301 00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,982 We can work on that. 302 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,402 We owe it to our marriage. 303 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:06,364 But you must march over to Pascal 304 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:09,992 and tell him in no uncertain terms that you will never see him again. 305 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,248 Very well. 306 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:16,958 I'll go now. 307 00:15:19,794 --> 00:15:22,588 Certainly you're being very rational about this, 308 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,048 very civilized. 309 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:28,010 Well, I'm nothing if not civilized. 310 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,096 By the way, 311 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:32,056 this Pascal... 312 00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,016 is he married? 313 00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,226 No. 314 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,145 Why? 315 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,232 I thought I could bag his wife, even the score. 316 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,777 I'm sorry. I'm venting. 317 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,737 Go. 318 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:58,332 People. Sheesh! 319 00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:01,169 Think they'd never seen a blowtorch scar before. 320 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,548 Who took a blowtorch to you? 321 00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,633 I did. I let myself down. 322 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,218 Nobody lets Tiny down. 323 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,181 Sammy, you've got to get rid of that guy. 324 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,640 All right. All right. 325 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,892 Let him go. 326 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:16,976 I'll fire him. 327 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,482 Say, Tiny, 328 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,275 could you step over here for a second? 329 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,196 Listen, I want to talk to you about the job for a minute. 330 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,780 I want you to know 331 00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,741 it's not that we don't like having you here, 332 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:34,702 It's just that... Well... 333 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:36,037 Knock knock. 334 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,460 I'm sorry. What? 335 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,336 Knock knock. 336 00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:46,464 Who's there? 337 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,590 The dead guy. 338 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,259 Oh, boy. 339 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,889 The, uh, dead guy who? 340 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,475 The dead guy that I killed. Get it? 341 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,689 I thought I'd heard them all, man. 342 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:09,237 So, uh... what were you saying about the job? 343 00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,822 Uh, well... it's just that, uh... 344 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:14,617 We-- we were all... talking... 345 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:21,457 We have decided to make you the employee of the month. 346 00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,335 Thank you. 347 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:26,128 Yeah. All right. 348 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,464 Sam, what gives? 349 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,841 I been working my butt off for you for seven years, 350 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,678 and you're making Tiny the employee of the month? 351 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:37,098 Not now, man. I'm trying to figure a way to get rid of him. 352 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,809 Boy, you're one fickle guy. 353 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,522 All right, please. Please. Help me out here. 354 00:17:44,689 --> 00:17:47,066 Can I just be the voice of reason here 355 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:50,152 and suggest that we keep Tiny? 356 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:54,282 Personally, I think he's a welcome addition to the Cheers family. 357 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,742 Please. We got to do this, Carla. 358 00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,745 I get it. This is an ego thing, huh? Right? 359 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:02,248 A handsome man comes into this bar, 360 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,543 and you just can't stand it, can you? 361 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,379 Wait. Hold it. I've got an idea. 362 00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:10,298 I got an idea. Listen, come here. 363 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,925 What we do is we tell him that Cheers is built 364 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,386 on an ancient burial ground, and we scare him out of here. 365 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,054 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 366 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,514 I got one. 367 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,641 No, this is very popular nowadays. 368 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,977 We tell him we got a radon gas, very deadly, 369 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:25,313 seeping up through the floorboards, and we're all goners anyways. 370 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,814 What about a bomb threat? 371 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:29,275 What about treating him like a human being with feelings? 372 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,778 No, that would never-- 373 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,531 Aw, man. I'm sorry. 374 00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,741 We never, we... 375 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,786 I'm big, not deaf, and I'll go now. 376 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,413 Nice working with you folks. 377 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,511 Greetings, all. 378 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,597 Hey, Frasier. what can we get you? 379 00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:02,016 Uh... just a scotch, please, Sam. 380 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,685 Boy, what a day I've had. 381 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:05,686 I'd like to unwind. 382 00:19:05,853 --> 00:19:06,812 I think I've earned it. 383 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,814 Coming right up, Dr. Crane. 384 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,240 I've really earned it, Woody. 385 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:23,788 I mean this was a real bad day. 386 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,000 I'll tell you when to stop, Woody! 387 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,967 One more, Woody. 388 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,844 One more for the... 389 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,681 The big stooge. 390 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,600 One more for the big loser. 391 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,228 One more for the big boob. 392 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:51,232 Hey, hear that? Frasier wants to buy you guys a drink. 393 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,655 Woody, Woody. Come to me for a moment here. 394 00:19:58,739 --> 00:19:59,907 Listen... 395 00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:03,285 When you go home tonight to your wife Kelly, 396 00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,788 you treat her right. 397 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,040 You promise me... 398 00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,167 Treat her right. 399 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,128 Hell of a woman. 400 00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,965 If I wasn't married, I'd be all over her like white on rice. 401 00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:21,011 That perky little caboose of hers! 402 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,516 Here you go. 403 00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:26,892 What's this? 404 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,269 That's black coffee on the house. 405 00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:30,271 Very generous. 406 00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:35,317 You guys are true friends to stand by me in my hour of need. 407 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,445 Frase, come on, we all know what you're going through. 408 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,030 Oh. Oh, do you, Norm? 409 00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,658 What if you found out Vera was sleeping with another man? 410 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:45,286 Yeah, right. And what if it rained beer? 411 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:50,666 I want you all to know I'm not blaming her. 412 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:52,626 It's because of me 413 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:54,545 that my life is in the arms of another man. 414 00:20:54,712 --> 00:20:57,339 Oh, you mean wife, don't you, Dr. Crane? 415 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,258 What? You said "life." 416 00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:02,219 "It's because of me my life is in the arms of another man." 417 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:04,722 That's a Freudian slip, there, Wood. 418 00:21:04,889 --> 00:21:06,182 What's a Freudian slip? 419 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,267 That's when you say one thing 420 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:10,227 when you're actually thinking about a mother. 421 00:21:14,982 --> 00:21:16,484 Frasier? 422 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,405 I need to speak with you in private. 423 00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:23,699 Oh, no, you don't. 424 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,786 I want everyone here to hear what I've got to say to you. 425 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,370 Lilith, I realize 426 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,415 that it is I and not you who are to blame. 427 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:33,709 Whatever you've done... 428 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,254 I'm sure I gave you ample reason for it. 429 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:42,384 I've been... arrogant, overbearing, 430 00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,762 selfish, self-absorbed. 431 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,597 I've spent way too much time in this place. 432 00:21:46,597 --> 00:21:48,724 I really think we should go somewhere else to discuss this. 433 00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,976 No, Lilith, so you had a fling. So what? 434 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:52,770 I've put all that behind me. 435 00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,606 I forgive you. 436 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:59,276 And I... I take you back with open arms. 437 00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,071 I'm sorry, Frasier. 438 00:22:02,238 --> 00:22:04,532 I wanted to break it off with Dr. Pascal, 439 00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:06,659 but I'm afraid it's more serious than I thought. 440 00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,286 I think I'm in love with him, 441 00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,956 and I'm leaving you. 442 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,507 Well, this is... 443 00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:23,592 Twice today that I've... 444 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,553 publicly made a fool of myself. 445 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,721 Aw, you get used to it, Doc.