1
00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,421
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,096
Hi, this is Cheers.
3
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,974
Well, it isn't actually Cheers.
It's Woody Boyd.
4
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:19,144
Cheers is actually the bar and, as such,
it couldn't be expected to talk.
5
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:20,521
Woody, start again.
6
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,064
Why? I'm doing fine.
7
00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:25,234
Anyway, there's no one here
to take your call right now.
8
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,653
Actually, if you called right now,
we could take your call,
9
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:30,656
- but if you call when you--
- Woody, would you cut it out?
10
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,324
- You're sounding stupid.
- I am not.
11
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,618
Why do you always treat me
like I don't know what I'm doing?
12
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,162
- It sounds stupid, Woody!
- Does not!
13
00:00:39,081 --> 00:00:41,333
Hi, Sam, this is Woody.
14
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,710
Guess you were right.
It does sound stupid.
15
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,547
I'll change it tomorrow.
16
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:01,246
Hey, everybody. How's it going?
17
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:02,497
Hey, Norm, look at this.
18
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,583
Just got myself
a brand-new video camera.
19
00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,918
Nice one. It looks kind of expensive.
20
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,337
It is, it is.
21
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,297
But it'll pay for itself
in no time at all.
22
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,216
Yeah, I plan to stage some footage
23
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,011
for those programs like
America's Funniest Home Videos,
24
00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:18,847
Rescue 911, Nightline, stuff like that.
25
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,976
Cliff, I don't think Nightline
is staged.
26
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,937
You are so naive.
27
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,108
Good afternoon, everybody.
28
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,777
- Hey, doc.
- Hey.
29
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,779
So, what's new?
30
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,198
Got a message for you here, Frase.
31
00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,241
Here we go. Shauna called you.
32
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:42,037
Settle down, class.
33
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,081
Shauna is my secretary.
34
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:47,584
My temporary secretary.
35
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,253
She's all of 21 years old,
for God's sake.
36
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:54,341
Come on, stop, you guys.
Have a little class, will you?
37
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:56,093
So you going to try and bag her?
38
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,140
No, I am not.
39
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,143
Although it's not entirely
out of the realm of reality.
40
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:07,646
Does seem that the lass has a...
41
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,607
...a thing for Dr. Crane.
42
00:03:12,109 --> 00:03:13,151
Good for you.
43
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,112
Well, I mean, after all,
it's not so hard to believe.
44
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,530
I've been keeping myself
in pretty good shape.
45
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,573
I've been NordicTracking it every night.
46
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,576
Don't you worry, Peter.
47
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,454
Your parents' 50th anniversary party
will go off without a hitch.
48
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:25,706
We'll provide everything you need.
49
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,624
The food, the drinks,
the decorations, the works.
50
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,126
Sign here.
51
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:31,128
I can't thank you enough
for all your help.
52
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,796
Good. And we'll see you
on Sunday afternoon.
53
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,048
You'll find every detail
will be perfect.
54
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,843
Terrific!
Now all I need is a photographer.
55
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,095
Hey! Hey!
56
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,389
Excuse me there, buddy boy.
57
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,599
I couldn't help overhearing.
Are you looking for a photographer?
58
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:46,560
- That's right.
- Well, you are in luck.
59
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,894
I'm Clifford Clavin.
60
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,689
One of the best camcorder jockeys
in all of Boston.
61
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:54,317
If you're in the video business,
why are you dressed as a mailman?
62
00:03:58,447 --> 00:04:00,741
Costume party down
at the Director's Guild.
63
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,617
Yeah.
64
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,662
So, what do you say? You want me
to do your party for 50 clams?
65
00:04:05,829 --> 00:04:08,415
Sounds terrific. Guess I'm
pretty lucky to have run into you.
66
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,375
- I'll see you Sunday.
- You betcha.
67
00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,421
What do you think, Norm?
68
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,090
It's the beginning
of a whole new career.
69
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,467
Yeah.
70
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:21,344
Speaking of which,
I could use an assistant
71
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:23,096
for my video endeavors.
72
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,892
What do you say?
I could start you off at 20... 15 bucks.
73
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,062
15 Bucks.
I could use the money.
74
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,190
Got to get Vera a Christmas present.
75
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:38,153
Christmas was a couple of weeks ago.
76
00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:41,823
Oh, my.
77
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:46,912
Hi, Dr. Crane.
78
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,247
Hello, Shauna.
79
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:56,505
You... left some papers on your desk,
and they looked important,
80
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,508
so I thought I'd bring them over.
81
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,427
You didn't really, I mean,
these weren't that important.
82
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,721
There's no need.
These could have waited.
83
00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,891
I don't mind.
I wasn't doing anything, anyway.
84
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:11,520
Besides, it gives me a chance
to see you outside of the office.
85
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,523
I think you look even better in here.
86
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:16,858
Yes...
87
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,944
Dank basements flatter me.
88
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,201
Dr. Crane.
89
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,453
Can I ask you a question?
90
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,372
Well, yes. Go right ahead.
91
00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:32,874
Well, this is probably
against the rules,
92
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:37,963
But would you be
at all interested in, you know,
93
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:41,424
seeing each other
outside the office sometime?
94
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,346
Well...
95
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:49,724
Gosh, Shauna, I...
96
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,520
I'm terribly busy, and, of course,
there is my son to think of.
97
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,565
Hey, listen, I don't want
to make you feel uncomfortable.
98
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:58,900
Tell you what,
99
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,735
let me just go check and
see if you have any messages,
100
00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,863
and then I'll be on my way.
101
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:13,915
Are you crazy?
102
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,167
Did I just hear you turn down
a date with that girl?
103
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:17,460
Come on, man. Reel her in.
104
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,254
Sam, you don't seem to understand.
105
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,756
Look, I just came off
a seven-year marriage.
106
00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:25,635
It's hard to think of replacing Lilith.
107
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,805
Just go to the morgue
and open any drawer.
108
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,728
Listen, listen, listen.
109
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,856
I'm not saying you got
to replace the corpse--
110
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,649
Replace Lilith.
111
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,360
All I'm saying is ask her out on a date.
112
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:46,573
Well... perhaps.
In a few days, maybe.
113
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,075
No, come on. Do it now.
Ask her right this--
114
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,995
I'll tell you, if you don't,
I'm going to ask her out.
115
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:54,998
You got one minute
on the old Sammy clock.
116
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,751
All right, by George,
I'll do it right this minute.
117
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:58,710
Atta boy.
118
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,629
Frasier Crane is back in the game.
119
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,424
No messages.
120
00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:05,634
Shauna...
121
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,638
What you were saying before...
122
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,432
...about our seeing each other.
123
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,684
Well...
124
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,937
To put it this way...
125
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,605
About, you know, you and me...
126
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,691
You got about 30 seconds.
127
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,197
Would you...
128
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:28,698
...really like to go out with me?
129
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,368
You bet I would.
130
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,495
You know, I have an idea.
131
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,080
Instead of going out,
132
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,750
why don't you come over to my place
for dinner on Sunday night?
133
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:40,835
Your place?
134
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:43,546
Well, I'd be delighted.
135
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,548
Can I bring anything?
Dessert, maybe?
136
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:49,135
No, Dr. Crane, don't bring dessert.
137
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,971
I'll take care of that.
138
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,852
You're going to get dessert!
139
00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,653
I told you we're closed.
140
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,154
It's a private party.
141
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,739
Employees only.
142
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,157
Please?
143
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,035
Carla, tell them I own the place.
I do it all the time.
144
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,912
For the last time, go home!
145
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,167
Carla, will you stop being rude
to the customers?
146
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,877
It was Paul.
147
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,714
I'm sorry.
I couldn't see through the glass.
148
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,217
Okay, here we are, Frederick.
149
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,220
Here's my pal Freddy.
150
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,264
- Go to your Uncle Sammy.
- There we go.
151
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:38,268
Listen, I can't thank you enough
for volunteering to fill in
152
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:39,769
when the babysitter canceled.
153
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,479
I mean, if you hadn't offered,
154
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,523
I wouldn't be able
to see sauna tonight.
155
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:45,275
I mean, I mean...
156
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,029
Shauna.
Boy, there's a slip for you!
157
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,699
It's my pleasure.
You're looking good, Freddy.
158
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,451
Okay, now,
I brought some of his toys here.
159
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,953
We got his choo-choo.
160
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,789
And his blankie.
161
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,125
And his toy soldier. Here you go.
162
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,252
And, well, let's see.
163
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,797
Bag full of educational crap
that Lilith got him.
164
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:13,845
And his favorite book,
The Runaway Bunny.
165
00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,181
You keep that book away from me.
166
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,891
How come, Carla?
167
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:21,186
I have eight kids.
I've read that book a thousand times,
168
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,938
and every time I read it,
I bawl like a baby.
169
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,774
No kidding.
170
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,027
- "Once there was a little bunny...'
- Stop it.
171
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:30,361
- "...who wanted to run away."
- Stop it!
172
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,072
- "So he said to his mother..."
- Stop it! Stop it!
173
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,199
- "I am running away.'
- Stop it!
174
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,118
Frasier, can I take Freddy a minute?
175
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,579
Well, of course.
You remember Auntie Rebecca.
176
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,081
- Hello.
- Good boy, Frederick.
177
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:42,582
Yeah, take 'em both.
178
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:43,958
Thank you.
179
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,170
All right, Sam, here's a list of numbers.
180
00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:50,673
Here's my beeper.
This is Shauna's house.
181
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,093
And this is Lilith at the eco-pod.
182
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,721
They got a telephone in the eco-pod?
183
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,264
Well, no, it's just for emergencies.
184
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,767
But listen, call her,
yank her chain for me.
185
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,685
I won't have a chance to do it tonight.
186
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,979
I'll see if I can get to it.
187
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:06,981
And one other thing
I need to discuss with you.
188
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,234
Very important. In private.
189
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,028
Could you just join me
in the men's room?
190
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,781
In the men's room?
That's a little weird, isn't it?
191
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,992
Oh, Sam, get your head out of
the 7th grade, for God's sake.
192
00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,495
We're just two men
having a private conversation.
193
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:21,955
All right, okay.
194
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,040
Don't go in with me!
How would that look?
195
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:31,881
All right, here you are.
Okay, everybody just relax.
196
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:34,259
Don't mind me.
Pretend like I'm not here.
197
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,469
There you are!
Everything's all set.
198
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,471
I took the liberty of making
nametags for everybody.
199
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:41,099
See? "Hello. My name's Rebecca."
200
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:44,477
And this one is for you, Peter.
201
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:45,895
And your name is?
202
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,105
We're all family.
203
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,399
We know each other's names.
204
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,401
Let me make one out for you, anyway.
205
00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:53,820
B-I-T-C...
206
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,323
Come on, man. I got a party out here.
207
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,951
All right, Sam, please,
this is very important.
208
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:17,886
What do you think?
209
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,263
It's super.
210
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,056
Really?
211
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,224
You're ser--
212
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,643
No, I'm sorry. No...
213
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,479
I can't lie to you, man. This is just...
214
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:30,899
Well, it's not you.
215
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,610
Damn!
216
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,279
It looked so good on the Styrofoam head.
217
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,617
Hell, Sam, who am I trying to kid?
218
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,702
This is ridiculous.
219
00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:45,330
I'm going to call Shauna and cancel.
220
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,081
Wait a second.
221
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:50,043
What are you doing, man? She likes you.
Didn't you hear what she said?
222
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:54,422
"No, Dr. Crane, Don't bring dessert.
I'll take care of that."
223
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,094
I'm just too old to be dating!
224
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,221
Stop it. Come on.
225
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,556
You were a ladies' man
before you met Lilith, weren't you?
226
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,308
- Well, yeah.
- Yeah, you were.
227
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,144
Look at that. Look at that.
You are a good-looking man.
228
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:11,231
Well, I'm not exactly a dog.
229
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:15,276
Come on, go over there. Enjoy yourself.
230
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,112
All you got to do
is bring a little champagne,
231
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:20,240
some flowers,
sweet talk her a little bit.
232
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,367
Before you know it,
it's time to go home.
233
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:24,911
Or maybe... you don't go home.
234
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,537
You know what I mean?
235
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,581
Is that the way most dates
go for you, Sam?
236
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,917
No. Now come on, don't do that.
See, this is not a test.
237
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:33,294
You're not expected
to perform at my level.
238
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:39,759
The thing is just
to enjoy myself as myself.
239
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,135
Yes.
240
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,221
Okay.
241
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:44,681
- Thanks, Sam.
- Yeah, yeah.
242
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:49,644
Now, Frasier Crane is going
to go get some before it gets cold.
243
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,693
- Everything okay in here?
- Yeah, no problem.
244
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,112
Just had to help
Frasier out with something.
245
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,448
We got bigger problems, Sam.
246
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,700
Those things are back!
247
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,228
Well, come on in, Dr. Crane.
248
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,604
Dinner's on the table.
249
00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:35,857
How old are you, like 90?
250
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,076
Okay, so this button is
the on-off button.
251
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:50,371
This button here
makes it louder or softer.
252
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:55,752
And these two buttons right here
make everything bluer or greener.
253
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,754
Those two are my favorite.
254
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,297
Have a ball there.
255
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,423
Poor kid.
256
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,967
They probably don't let him
watch enough TV at home.
257
00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:07,722
It's a wonder why
some people even have kids.
258
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,726
Great shot. Great shot.
259
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,355
Listen, ma'am, would you mind
holding this in your lap
260
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,732
and just tilt it up at an angle like that?
261
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:21,361
I want to do a slow tracking shot.
262
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,825
Hi, sexy.
263
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,244
What are you going to be doing
after work tonight?
264
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,663
Trying to forget you asked me that.
265
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,584
You do great work.
266
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:40,463
Look for your credits
in the end titles there, sweetheart.
267
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,927
Cliff ie, what's this
red blinking light mean?
268
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:47,762
It means the battery's dead.
269
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:50,181
Give me the spare.
I'll slap it in for you.
270
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:52,975
Actually,
I don't have a spare there, Norm.
271
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,311
Okay, no problem.
Just give me the power cord.
272
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,063
We'll find an outlet.
273
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,398
These come with power cords?
274
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,485
What are you--
What are you telling me,
275
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,862
That this camera's useless?
276
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:08,282
These people paid us good money, Cliff.
What are we gonna do?
277
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:12,286
Just relax, Norm.
We'll figure out some kind of a plan.
278
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:14,038
Well, you better come up with something.
279
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,040
All right. Here's what we'll do.
280
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,043
We'll just carry on and film
as though nothing's wrong.
281
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:20,670
We'll pretend the camera's working.
282
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,089
Then in a couple days
when they call us for the film,
283
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,426
We'll say, "We dropped it in the mail.
It must've gotten lost."
284
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:31,222
All right? We got the 50 bucks,
and nobody's the wiser.
285
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:34,016
Great. Great.
As long as you have a plan.
286
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,601
Norm, in a couple of weeks,
287
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:39,063
nobody here's going to remember
some stupid anniversary party.
288
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,483
Attention, everyone.
289
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:46,070
I've waited 50 years to say this.
290
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,406
Wait a minute, Dad.
Say it into the camera.
291
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,992
We want to preserve this moment forever.
292
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,327
Hey, guys, come on over.
293
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,374
Okay. Coming right up.
294
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:02,003
Come on, Norm, let's go
capture this moment on videotape.
295
00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:07,800
I don't know why it's taken me so long
to say this to you kids, but...
296
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,052
...I love you,
297
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,054
Every one of you.
298
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,730
Cliff, you got to tell them.
299
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:24,484
It's not my fault the guy took 50 years
to tell his kids he loved them.
300
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:28,529
What kind of father is that, anyway?
301
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,533
So there was one moment
in the whole thing. Big whoops.
302
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,160
You know,
with all the drinking and yelling,
303
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,912
nobody's going to remember anything.
304
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,124
Grandma! Grandpa!
305
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:43,461
I flew 34 hours in a marine cargo plane
to get here,
306
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,588
But it's worth it all just to say...
307
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:47,507
Happy anniversary! I love you!
308
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,972
Oh, Terry, my baby boy!
309
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,391
Thank God, we're getting this on tape!
310
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,477
Yeah, thank God.
311
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:03,105
My God, Terry, they wouldn't tell us
if you were alive or dead.
312
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,483
There's one thing kept me alive--
313
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,652
I was thinking about coming home to you.
314
00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,865
All right, Cliff, come on,
what are we going to do here?
315
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,116
You got to tell them.
316
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:15,535
All right, look, everybody,
317
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:17,870
my boss here
has an announcement to make.
318
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,290
Yeah, everybody...
319
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,919
I'm going to go on my break.
My assistant will take over.
320
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,841
All right now,
let's squeeze in tight, everybody.
321
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:41,978
So...
322
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,565
You're... Shauna's family.
323
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,818
When Shauna invited me for dinner,
she didn't mention
324
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:52,655
that we'd be having dinner
with her whole family.
325
00:17:56,158 --> 00:17:58,578
Interestingly enough,
many young people today
326
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,955
are choosing to move
back in with their parents.
327
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:04,041
We call it the full-nest syndrome.
328
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,585
It wasn't her choice.
329
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:10,423
Well, Shauna's made some bad decisions.
330
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,718
She's not real good on responsibility.
331
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:19,056
Well, I must say that she
handled herself
332
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:20,808
quite well this week at my office.
333
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,977
Thank you, Dr. Crane.
334
00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,478
See?
335
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,981
Oh, yeah, a doctor,
336
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:29,233
I forgot I was getting
a professional opinion.
337
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,776
Where did you go to school?
338
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,028
Harvard.
339
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,113
Well, la-dee-da.
340
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:39,035
And is this what
they taught you at Harvard?
341
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,661
How to take advantage of my daughter?
342
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,956
Sir, I am not taking advantage.
343
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,834
I was merely invited
for an innocent little dinner.
344
00:18:47,001 --> 00:18:48,753
Just an innocent little dinner?
345
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,631
- Mind if I check your wallet?
- There's no need for that!
346
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,678
I don't like this, Shauna.
347
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:58,929
But why not, Daddy?
348
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,891
Isn't this the kind of guy
that you always wanted me to date?
349
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,351
Is this the choice you give me?
350
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,103
Either some silver-spooned egghead
or that hippie?
351
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,563
Why are you bringing up Rick?
352
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,441
I thought I was forbidden to see Rick.
353
00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:13,486
Rick?
354
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,738
That's her old boyfriend.
355
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,240
Okay. I get it.
All right. Thank you, Shauna,
356
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,534
for inviting me to be a little pawn
in your game.
357
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,244
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'll just be going.
358
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,246
Oh, no, please stay, Dr. Crane.
359
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,790
Everything is fine.
360
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,416
Everything is just fine.
361
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,378
Tater tots?
362
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:33,964
I don't know why you like Shauna.
363
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,300
She's only big up there 'cause she stuffs.
364
00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,928
Shut up, Todd!
365
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:40,930
He would have found out...
366
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,807
In, like, a year.
367
00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,184
Make him shut up!
368
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:51,273
And whom else have we invited
for dinner tonight, Shauna?
369
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,776
If I'm right and this is, in fact,
the worst night of my life,
370
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,194
it would be Rick.
371
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:58,489
You know that dropout's
not allowed in this house.
372
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,241
Shauna!
373
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:03,744
Rick! You came for me!
374
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:05,246
You really do love me!
375
00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:06,747
Oh, please!
376
00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,250
That's it. I'm calling the police.
377
00:20:09,417 --> 00:20:13,254
Daddy, why can't you like Rick?
Can't you see that we're in love?
378
00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:16,215
Don't you run out on me, Shauna!
I'm your father!
379
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,134
Don't lock that door!
Don't lock that door!
380
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,510
Don't lock that door!
381
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,013
I think I'll just be going now.
382
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:26,726
Why? Everything is just fine.
383
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,561
It's just fine.
384
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:32,982
Now, who's got room for dessert?
385
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:45,202
So I guess, Freddie,
what they're saying is
386
00:20:45,369 --> 00:20:48,497
that wherever the baby bunny goes,
the mommy bunny is...
387
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,668
...is there waiting for him
to take care of him.
388
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:58,632
I guess I must have touched my eye
with some of that salt from the peanut.
389
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:01,969
Me, too.
390
00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,514
That's it, yeah.
Let's see those good-byes now.
391
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,309
Wave, yes.
You had a good time.
392
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,644
We're going to need
a lot of copies of this.
393
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,605
Oh, yes, sir. You'll get them.
394
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,775
Don't worry, sir.
You'll get those copies all right.
395
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,318
We're going to jail, Norm.
396
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,821
What do you mean "we"?
I'm only the assistant here.
397
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:25,701
Everybody, I have something to say.
398
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:30,414
I want you all to know
that you have given me the strength...
399
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:32,082
...to do this.
400
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:49,099
This is too much, Cliff.
401
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:52,353
Either you tell them now,
or I'm going to.
402
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:56,148
I guess I better
before Bigfoot walks in here
403
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,275
and starts singing
"The Anniversary Waltz."
404
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,571
I guess if you give me the tape,
we'll be going.
405
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:05,574
So you want the tape right now?
406
00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:09,036
I'll tell you what.
How about if I take a shot from up here?
407
00:22:09,203 --> 00:22:11,914
One last shot. Norm?
Everybody, over here.
408
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:13,499
Turn this way.
409
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,793
Let me see those pearly whites.
410
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,629
Everybody smile.
Just back it up here, Norm.
411
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:19,922
Back it up.
412
00:22:20,089 --> 00:22:21,715
Open the door, Norm.
413
00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,592
Let's back it up. That's good. Okay.
414
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:27,137
We're just going to back it up.
Everybody wave.
415
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:28,889
Run like hell!
416
00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,487
Yahtzee!