1
00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:04,379
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:31,049
Hey, Cliff ie, take away that beard,
and you know who I'd swear that is?
3
00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,970
Oh, yeah, you took the words
right out of my mouth, Normie.
4
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,764
Mr. D.B. Cooper himself.
5
00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,603
Yeah, I've been tracking him
for 20 years now.
6
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:45,731
Now he's found me. The supreme irony.
7
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,610
No, Cliff,
I was going to say Robin Colcord.
8
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,696
Yeah. Hey, you're right.
9
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:55,574
Isn't that something?
Well, my search continues.
10
00:01:56,491 --> 00:02:00,037
Glass of ice water.
And, by the way, hello, Sam.
11
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,040
Hello, boys. I'm back.
12
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,876
Robin.
13
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,004
Robin Colcord. I'll be damned.
14
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:10,297
How you been?
15
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,507
Look at you. Why are you...
16
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,217
Why are you dressed like that?
17
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,928
Well, my friends, I'm not the same
Robin Colcord you once knew.
18
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,472
I'm penniless.
19
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:22,225
Robin, you left here
with six million bucks.
20
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:24,561
Remember you had it hidden
in that money belt in the office?
21
00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:26,146
Well, I gave it away.
22
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,774
And now I'm a drifter,
searching the world without a dime,
23
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:31,401
and finally liking
what I find inside me.
24
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,946
Well... great.
25
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,994
Seriously, Robin,
what have you been up to?
26
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:42,663
I've been living.
27
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,666
I walked through Europe.
I worked a kibbutz in Israel.
28
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,042
Joined the merchant marine.
29
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,753
Had the great honor
to be blessed by the Pope.
30
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,464
But listen to me going on about myself.
31
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,466
What have you fellows been up to?
32
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,515
Hitler moved into my building.
33
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:05,769
And how's Rebecca?
Is she still luscious?
34
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,730
No, actually, she's slimmed down.
35
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,402
My Rebecca. I can't tell you
how I've missed her.
36
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:14,778
And now to see her again,
37
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,988
to look into those amber eyes,
38
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,408
to hear that crystal bell of a voice.
39
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:23,245
Crap, Sam, your desk smells
like somebody puked in it.
40
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:25,872
Rebecca,
41
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,124
I'm back.
42
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,459
Robin.
43
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,795
My sweet baby!
44
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,256
- Is it really you?
- Yes.
45
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:36,007
I knew you'd come back for me!
46
00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:37,718
I quit!
47
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,180
I'm out of here.
No more petty job for Rebecca Howe.
48
00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:45,767
No more hanging out with you
poor pathetic, boring losers all day.
49
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,185
My prayers have been answered.
50
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,312
Robin's come back for me,
and I'm rich, I'm rich!
51
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:52,941
Why are you dressed like that, Robin?
52
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:54,776
Well, I've taken a vow of poverty.
53
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,654
I have only what I'm wearing
and what I'm carrying in my rucksack.
54
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:00,615
Well, that's very sweet.
55
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,786
Did I just call you guys
a bunch of names a few minutes ago?
56
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:05,912
Yeah.
57
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,875
I'm sorry. I just have these episodes
when I'm around rich people.
58
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:13,754
Sort of like a blackout.
No harm done, 'kay?
59
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,925
Robin, listen, you know,
I'm really interested in hearing
60
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,427
all about what's been
happening with you.
61
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,305
So, what say you and I go to
dinner tonight, just the two of us?
62
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,140
I'm afraid it would
have to be your treat.
63
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:26,349
Of course it would.
64
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:29,060
Splendid. I'll just go and wash up.
65
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:32,314
Poor guy.
66
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,317
It's a real come-down, isn't it?
Seems happy, though.
67
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,194
Of course he's happy.
68
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,029
He's lying.
69
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,907
I'm afraid of the rest of this.
70
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,117
Sam, don't you see it? He's testing me.
71
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,410
Remember the last time before he left?
72
00:04:45,577 --> 00:04:47,329
He pretended like he was poor
and I rejected him,
73
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,831
then it turns out he wasn't poor,
he was rich?
74
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,334
Well, he's testing me again.
He wants to see if I've matured.
75
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,044
And I'm going to make damn sure
76
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,838
that he knows that material wealth
means nothing to me.
77
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,840
Then he'll marry me and take me away
78
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:02,302
and I won't have to spend any more time
with you poor, pathetic, boring losers...
79
00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:05,680
...day after day after day...
80
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,391
Honey, it's happening again.
81
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,602
What? What's happening?
82
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,861
Hello, everyone. So, what's new?
83
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,864
Hey, Doc, you better settle in.
Have we've got a surprise for you.
84
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,074
Really?
85
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,368
Oh, yeah. Yeah, a real shockeroo.
86
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:27,953
You'll never guess who's back.
87
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,288
It's Lilith, isn't it?
88
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,836
Thank God. She wants me back.
89
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,130
Everything's gonna be okay now!
90
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:42,968
I'll fall to my knees and tell her
what a living hell my life has been!
91
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:46,888
At last, the long nightmare
is finally over!
92
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,516
Where is my beautiful girl?
93
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,978
Hey, Doc, actually, it's Robin Colcord.
94
00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:03,154
Good! I wouldn't take
that broad back if you paid me!
95
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,453
How'd it go?
96
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,123
He's testing me,
but I'm passing with flying colors.
97
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,500
Sam, I hate to trouble you,
98
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:19,087
but you think I could sleep
in your storage room tonight?
99
00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:20,463
Sure.
100
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,007
Robin, don't be silly.
101
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,383
You're not gonna sleep
in a storage room.
102
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,635
I have a perfectly good apartment.
You're gonna stay with me.
103
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,220
Rebecca, you are an angel.
104
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,973
So, Rob, tell me the truth.
105
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,142
You really don't miss
having the big bucks?
106
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:33,685
Not a bit of it.
107
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,146
Money makes people greedy,
and greed is a disease.
108
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,689
I was a miser.
109
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:41,443
A sick little squirrel hiding money belts
filled with millions of dollars
110
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,944
all over the world.
111
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,030
You mean there were other ones
112
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,657
besides that one you hid
in the desk in Sam's office?
113
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:51,536
I used to hide them in pairs, backups,
in case someone found the first one.
114
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,039
Thank God I'm no longer
obsessed by money.
115
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:57,250
Now all I need is happiness
and companionship.
116
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,003
Do you mind, darling?
I've been walking since Tuesday.
117
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,338
Can we go home now?
118
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,549
Yes. You are inspiration.
119
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,135
And I, too, feel money
is the root of all evil.
120
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,220
And that friendship is true gold.
121
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:12,766
That's why I value your friendship
so much, Robin.
122
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,603
Money, money, money, money, money!
123
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:24,527
So, did anyone else hear Robin say
that he hides money belts in pairs?
124
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,072
I did.
125
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,492
Yeah, but he only walked out of here
with one of them.
126
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:32,327
You don't suppose...
127
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:35,080
Come on. Give me a break, you guys.
I know what you're thinking.
128
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:38,875
There's no way in hell that he put
another money belt in this place.
129
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:40,126
It's ridiculous.
130
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,586
Yeah.
131
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,546
You're right, Sam, I guess.
132
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,967
You're damn right I am.
Okay, closing time! Everybody out!
133
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,727
Come on, I mean it, we're closed.
Get out.
134
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,604
Sammy, it's only ten after eight.
135
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,356
Yeah, well, I'm really tired.
136
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,775
Come on, let's go. Everybody out.
137
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:07,445
Sam Malone, you know,
you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
138
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:12,242
As soon as money enters the picture,
you try to kick out all your friends.
139
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,911
Now, who was there for you
when Diane left you?
140
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,747
Who was there for you
when this bar burnt down?
141
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,959
Us, your friends, that's who.
142
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,962
I'm not kidding. Get out.
143
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,383
Don't forget, Sam,
that's not your money.
144
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,720
If one of us finds it and tries to keep it,
145
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,347
the others can blow the whistle.
146
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,976
You guys would really send me to jail?
147
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,395
In a heartbeat.
148
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,233
Okay, but here's the deal.
149
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,901
This is my bar.
150
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,821
Whoever finds it, I get half.
151
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,906
What do you say?
152
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,493
All right, sounds reasonable.
153
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,038
And then the other half
will be divided among ourselves.
154
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,958
I suggest that we split into teams
to expedite the search.
155
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,710
Sounds good to me.
156
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:06,546
Of course it sounds good to him.
He gets half.
157
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,299
What do you think you're doing, Sam?
158
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:12,177
I'm gonna read my paper
until one of you brings me my half.
159
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,387
All right. Let's get to work.
160
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,306
Yeah. Let's get to work.
161
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:18,558
Say, Normie...
162
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,479
does Sammy get half of what we find...
163
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,606
or half of what we claim to find?
164
00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:26,691
What we claim to find.
165
00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:29,319
- After all, the guy's not a mind reader.
- Yeah, yeah.
166
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:32,781
So, we find something
that's got six million in it,
167
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,866
we only give him three million.
168
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:37,202
Yeah, we call it a finder's fee,
shall we?
169
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,579
My man, yeah.
170
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:46,044
Let's just call it a finder's fee,
shall we?
171
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,347
I want money
172
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,728
I want money
173
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:08,149
I need cash
174
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,236
A whole bunch of cash
175
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,574
I want money
176
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,166
Here you go.
177
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,626
I'll get you a couple more pillows,
178
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:29,170
and then you'll be
just as comfy as you can be.
179
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:30,630
That's good of you, Rebecca.
180
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,632
It must be awkward for you.
181
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,717
After all, we have a history.
182
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,511
Robin, please don't bring up the past.
183
00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,930
I just feel so ashamed of the way I used to be.
184
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:43,184
I was so bratty and so greedy,
185
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:44,894
and I'd just rather not talk about it.
186
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,773
Why don't you get that,
and I'll be right back.
187
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:51,943
Howe residence.
188
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,195
Hello, Frasier.
189
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,239
I was just thinking about
how you mentioned
190
00:10:56,406 --> 00:11:00,952
that you used to use hidden money belts
as financial security.
191
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:05,957
Well, it just so happens
that I have some valuables
192
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,668
that I'd like to hide.
193
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,461
But where?
194
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,882
So... I'd like to pick your brain
if I could.
195
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:17,510
I know that you favored
the underside of desk drawers,
196
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,096
but I thought you might throw out
some more ideas.
197
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,390
Pretend that you're the old Robin.
198
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:24,893
Frasier, would you just hold on
for a minute?
199
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,811
I have another call coming in.
200
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,188
Hello?
201
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,273
Oh, yeah. Robin, listen...
202
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:34,944
Found some sort of money belt,
and I assume it's yours here.
203
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:38,740
I hate to cause any problems
in case it's not, so...
204
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,200
Okay, I got it.
205
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,076
Why don't you tell me where you hid yours,
206
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:44,245
and I'll tell you
if that's where I found this one.
207
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:50,335
Cliff, I must admit that I had a penchant
for hiding them in duct work.
208
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:53,129
They'd be easy to get to
and impervious to damage.
209
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:56,257
Well, great, great.
Well, I guess this isn't yours.
210
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,134
Frasier.
211
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,303
Robin, hi. Yeah, that's okay.
212
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,059
Duct work, you say.
213
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,268
Good-bye.
214
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,938
It's in the ducts.
We're rich, we're rich!
215
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:11,231
Who was that?
216
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,358
Your friends. They're tearing apart
your place of work,
217
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,109
looking for one of my money belts.
218
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,862
Don't be too hard on them.
219
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:22,742
The sad part is, two years ago,
I would have been right over there with them.
220
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,537
You got to admit,
a million dollars is pretty tempting.
221
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:28,373
But you're not tempted anymore?
222
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,124
Oh, no, no, no. Not me.
223
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,878
Well, I mean, yes.
It would be nice
224
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:36,172
because of the good you could do with it.
225
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,385
I would love nothing more than
than to be able to spend
226
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,887
a lot of money on my favorite charity.
227
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:44,305
Which one is that?
228
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,307
That's the Children's Boston...
229
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,685
...something-something.
230
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:50,687
You're wonderful.
231
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,564
You know, you really are
a lovely woman, Rebecca.
232
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,276
And, Robin, you are the most
handsome, charming,
233
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,528
sophisticated man I've ever met.
234
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,405
Thank you. Now, if you'll excuse me,
235
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,700
I must go wash out my underwear
in the bathroom sink for tomorrow.
236
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,539
Robin?
237
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:14,752
You didn't by any chance hide one of
those money belts over here, did you?
238
00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,880
If I did, you be sure to have found it by now.
239
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:21,134
You have cleaned up in the past two years,
haven't you?
240
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,719
Of course I have.
241
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:30,768
Be cool, be cool.
242
00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:42,530
That's it. There's nothing in the ducts.
243
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,950
We checked the office,
the pool room, the rest rooms.
244
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,452
I don't get it.
245
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,874
Unless you two are lying.
246
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,295
Just going along with this duct thing,
247
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,922
waiting for us to keel over with exhaustion.
248
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,050
Oh, yeah?
249
00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:04,761
How do we know
that you two aren't lying?
250
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,804
That's it, Clavin. You're history, man.
251
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,474
Come on, Tortelli. Take your best shot.
252
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,850
I never liked you anyway.
253
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:13,061
I only pretended to
because you liked me, obviously.
254
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:14,854
Why, I oughta--
255
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,439
No, Carla.
256
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,108
Carla, no, no. Stop it. Stop it.
257
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,819
Don't you see?
Greed's turning us into animals.
258
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,822
We've got to behave
like civilized human beings.
259
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:26,115
All right.
260
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,367
All right.
261
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,160
Now...
262
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:34,290
I've got some sodium pentothal in my car.
263
00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:38,836
If one of you is lying,
264
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,338
we'll know it.
265
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,842
Are you sure you've looked in all the ducts?
266
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,846
Yeah, we looked in all of 'em unless
they were the ducts that burnt up in the fire.
267
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,516
What are you saying,
six million bucks went up in smoke?
268
00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:52,517
That doesn't make any sense.
269
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,936
I cleaned up most of that rubble myself.
270
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:56,521
There would have been some traces--
271
00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:59,273
A buckle, some burnt pieces
of money, something.
272
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,860
Sam, you're--
you're certain you were alone,
273
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:05,530
and you saw nothing.
274
00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:08,449
Listen, go back in your mind's eye.
275
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:09,951
All right. Yeah,
276
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,536
I came running in.
277
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,746
Everything was charred and moist,
278
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,207
and sweeped up a little bit.
279
00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:21,546
There was...
some wood, some glass, metal...
280
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:24,674
Oh, yeah, then a fire captain came in.
281
00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,050
The fire captain?
282
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,178
Oh, yeah. Captain Dobbins.
283
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:31,556
He was there when I came in
in the morning.
284
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:33,391
Ok, well, I think we have our answer.
285
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,146
Hi. Let me speak to Captain Dobbins.
286
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,065
Oh, he retired, did he?
287
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,528
Six months ago?
288
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:47,071
Thank you.
289
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:53,035
Apparently the Good Captain has come
into some money.
290
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,787
Crook stole our dough.
291
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:56,330
We got to get him down here.
292
00:15:56,831 --> 00:16:00,251
How? We just can't just give him a call
and ask him to drop on by.
293
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,587
Yeah, what are we going to do?
294
00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:03,754
Leave this to me, Sam.
295
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:06,090
I happen to know some people
296
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:08,759
that can handle this kind of thing,
no questions asked.
297
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:11,721
Might cost a little, but they do good work.
298
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,600
Hi. It's Mommy.
Wake up your brothers.
299
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:24,692
Robin, do you ever think about us?
300
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,737
Well, I have to admit, Rebecca, yes,
301
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,238
sometimes I do.
302
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,617
I have to tell you, since we broke up,
303
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,037
a day has not gone by
I haven't regretted it.
304
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:37,747
It was the biggest mistake of my life.
305
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,082
- Do you really feel that way?
- Yeah, I do.
306
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:41,959
Robin, take me back.
307
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,420
Please? I want to be with you.
308
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,298
I know you don't have any money,
and that's fine.
309
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:48,966
Let's just go around the world together.
310
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:50,968
I don't want to have any material things.
311
00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,264
I'll just pack a bag
of a few meager things
312
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,683
and some makeup essentials...
313
00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,311
and then we'll travel around together.
314
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,855
You'd really give up everything for me?
315
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,440
Oh, you bet your booty I would.
316
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:05,983
I wouldn't make that mistake twice.
317
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:09,320
Rebecca, I'd love to have you
share my journeys with me.
318
00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,613
Robin!
319
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,281
Ohh...
320
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:15,326
But there's just one thing I have to tell you.
321
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,078
How much? I mean, go ahead.
322
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:23,376
You see, occasionally I supplement
my meager lifestyle by stealing.
323
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,419
I did some time for that in Louisiana.
324
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,005
We may have to run from the police,
sleep under bridges,
325
00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,674
eat out of garbage cans...
326
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,093
Oh, Robin, cut the crap.
327
00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,262
I said I'd go away with you...
328
00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:35,763
Now, let's get real.
329
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,391
Um, what are you talking about?
330
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,644
You wanted to know if I'd still love you
if you were poor.
331
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,646
And I would, so we've settled that.
332
00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:47,149
So how much money do you have?
30 million? 40 million?
333
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,152
All this time you thought I was still wealthy,
334
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,529
And that's why you've been so kind to me.
335
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:54,490
You haven't changed a bit, have you?
You haven't matured.
336
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,867
You're still the same selfish gold-digger
you always were.
337
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,829
I'm poor, do you understand? Destitute.
338
00:17:59,996 --> 00:18:01,664
I have to shoplift for food.
339
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,667
Sometimes I even have to beg for money.
340
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:05,835
Ten million?
341
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,046
Zero.
342
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,506
I'm poor,
343
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,758
and I have no desire ever to be rich again.
344
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,219
- You're not kidding, are you?
- No, I'm not kidding.
345
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:16,721
If my prediction is correct,
346
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,682
You'll find that your affection
for me has suddenly disappeared.
347
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:20,933
Oh, no, it has not.
348
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,476
I still care a great--
349
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:27,607
Who am I kidding?
350
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:30,192
How...
351
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,527
God.
352
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:34,071
I haven't changed one bit in two years.
353
00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,700
Well, I can't say I'm not disappointed.
354
00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,578
Robin, I'm so sorry. Please--
355
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,830
Goodbye. Goodbye, Rebecca.
356
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,171
Goodbye, Robin.
357
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,430
Thanks, kids.
358
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,307
Wipe down the car, ditch it,
359
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,893
and get right to bed.
It's a school night.
360
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,022
Oh, Sam. Thank God.
361
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:10,358
Do you know this person?
362
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,026
Shut up, moneybags.
363
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,779
Sammy, guess who's living
364
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:17,114
in a brand-new house.
365
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,783
Oh, a new house and retirement?
366
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,118
You've got a lot of explaining to do, buster.
367
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:22,828
What are you talking about?
368
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,497
Maybe you would like to tell us
369
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,208
how you got rich six months ago.
370
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,294
My grandmother passed away.
371
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:31,379
Do you mind?
372
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:35,424
We happen to know there was a money belt
hidden in one of those air ducts
373
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,926
in that wall that burned down.
374
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:40,137
That money disappeared
right around the same time
375
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:43,307
your grandma so conveniently checked out.
376
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,769
So, what do you got to say, there...
377
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,021
Mr. Trump?
378
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,272
This is ridiculous.
379
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:52,858
I don't know anything about a money belt.
380
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:56,946
I have half a mind
to call the police on all of you.
381
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,242
Aw, Captain, Captain,
382
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:03,661
I think we can straighten this all out.
383
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:07,123
Why don't you and me just take
a little walk into the office?
384
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,416
What are you doing?
385
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,253
Go on in there with Carla.
386
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,964
What are you doing?
387
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,844
My God, look at you people.
388
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,512
Robin.
389
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,180
Look at your bar, Sam.
390
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:26,517
In your greedy desire to obtain
a nonexistent money belt,
391
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,436
you've destroyed
what was most important to you.
392
00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:30,146
Excuse me...
393
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,606
What was that word right
before money belt?
394
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:34,400
Nonexistent.
395
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,819
Fictitious. Mythical.
396
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:38,654
Nothing?
397
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:41,365
Not even, like, a small change purse?
398
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,784
Nothing. And here you've torn apart your bar.
399
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,661
I bet you've turned on each other, too.
400
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:48,456
How many side deals did you have going?
401
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:58,132
Oh, Robin, man,
how could you do this to us?
402
00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:00,468
To show you what money can do to a person.
403
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,512
You all despised me when I was wealthy.
404
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,599
You didn't understand
that I was victim of an illness, greed.
405
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,225
But now you understand.
406
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:11,395
Because all of you here tonight
have fallen victim to that same illness.
407
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:13,522
Hopefully you've all learned something,
408
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,608
And that's why I did what I did.
409
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:18,402
Plus...
410
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,112
I never really liked you.
411
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:21,739
Ta.
412
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:28,829
Yeah, I have to admit,
Robin's right.
413
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,166
Look what we've done to this place,
414
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,502
to each other.
415
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:37,755
Look what we've become.
416
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,759
Yeah. I tell you.
417
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,303
Money makes people
do strange things, doesn't it?
418
00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,889
Has anybody seen Robin?
419
00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,058
Yeah. He just left.
420
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:52,603
Honey, it turns out there wasn't
a money belt.
421
00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:54,021
He really is poor.
422
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,774
He tried to tell me that, too,
and I almost bought it.
423
00:21:57,441 --> 00:22:00,277
Goodbye, you poor,
pathetic, boring losers.
424
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,863
I'm a-movin' on up.
425
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:07,576
Well...
426
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,913
I suppose we should
try to clean up this mess
427
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,581
and put all this nonsense behind us.
428
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,668
I suppose we all learned something, huh?
429
00:22:16,710 --> 00:22:18,921
No harm came of it, though, I guess.
430
00:22:19,797 --> 00:22:22,258
A few things got broken,
but no one really got hurt.
431
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,221
That's hot!
432
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:36,105
Robin, you are so good.
433
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:39,108
What are we really waiting for, a limo?