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00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:04,463
Cheers is filmed
before a live studio audience.
2
00:00:06,256 --> 00:00:09,676
Oh, Sammy, look who's here--
Harry The Hat.
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,096
Man, how many times am I gonna
have to chase that guy out of here?
4
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:15,015
Grab your wallets, everybody.
5
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,309
- Hello, Harry.
- Hey, Sam.
6
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:20,020
What you doing, trying to sell
some bogus watches,
7
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,773
some knock offs to my customers
and try to cheat them?
8
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:25,484
Sam, that hurts.
This is no knock off.
9
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,529
That's a $5,000 Rolex,
but it's on sale for 2,500.
10
00:00:28,737 --> 00:00:30,989
- Is this a real Rolex, Harry?
- Yeah.
11
00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:32,991
Well...
12
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Hey, sounds like a Rolex, doesn't it?
13
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Oh, look at that.
14
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It's still ticking, too.
15
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Sam--
16
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Hey, do me a favor.
17
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Just take your bogus goods
18
00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:45,837
and peddle them someplace else,
will you?
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00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:48,465
So, Harry, are you interested
in buying a watch?
20
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,928
No, but I think my friend Sam might be.
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All right, but now,
the band I'm looking for
22
00:02:09,504 --> 00:02:10,464
is gonna have to be able to do
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All the old Irish standards.
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Yeah, "Danny Boy," 'Galway Bay,"
"When Irish Eyes Are Smiling."
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That kind of thing.
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Do you think you can you handle that?
27
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All right then.
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Okay, I'll get back to you.
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Yeah, adios, to you, too, Manuel.
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Bye-bye.
31
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Oh, well,
32
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:32,319
I see you're getting an early jump
on St. Patrick's Day.
33
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,820
Yeah, that's right. You know,
34
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,864
this time tomorrow
when Gary's still decorating
35
00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,407
Olde Towne Tavern,
this place is gonna be open.
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People are gonna be flooding in.
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It's a good idea, Sam.
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You're damn right.
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00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,872
Finally for the first time
on St. Patrick's Day,
40
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:47,417
Cheers is gonna do more business
than Gary's Olde Towne Tavern.
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- Yes!
- Yes!
42
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,253
I wouldn't be to sure about that.
43
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He's beaten you ten years running.
44
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I know, but I got a feeling.
45
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You know, lucky 11.
46
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:58,929
We can't lose this time, Dr. Crane.
We're pulling out all the stops.
47
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,431
We got two-for-one special.
48
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:04,184
We got balloons.
We got a live Irish band.
49
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,019
We got Mr. Peterson
50
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,646
mixing up some green beer.
51
00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:08,814
Oh, hey,
52
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,316
how's that beer coming, Normie?
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You want it fast, or you want it good?
54
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,905
Come on, you've been working on it
for three hours.
55
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And I'm prepared to work on it
all night long, Sam,
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because, damn it, I care.
57
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Normie, watch this.
58
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,623
Hey, Carla, are you through in there?
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00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,875
Hold your horses. I'm coming.
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00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,843
Shut up, everybody.
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00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,179
Hey, look, everybody,
it's our little leprechaun, Brill O'Head.
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Keep talking, Clavin.
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You'll lose your left blarney stone.
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00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:50,313
Sam, this outfit is ridiculous.
65
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,232
I mean, I want to beat Gary
as much as the next guy,
66
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,067
but I'm not wearing this, okay.
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00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:55,694
I think it kinda looks nice.
68
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,989
- Yeah, I think it looks kind of sexy.
- That's it.
69
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,200
Please, please.
70
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,828
Hi, everybody. I've got great news.
71
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:07,038
I applied to the Boston
League of Businesswomen.
72
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,540
And they might let me join.
73
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,708
Oh, who are they?
74
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,835
It's this very prestigious organization
75
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:14,212
that helps raise the stature
of women in society
76
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,715
and that kind of crap.
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00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,176
Sam, I need a couple hours off tomorrow
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00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:20,802
because they want to interview me.
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00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,345
Honey, it's the busiest day of my year.
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00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,931
What difference does it make?
She doesn't do anything anyway.
81
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,852
You know what?
Why don't you take the whole day off?
82
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:30,729
You're a peach.
83
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,398
Hi, everybody.
84
00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:34,858
Boo! Boo! Boo!
85
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,903
What the hell do you want here, Gary?
86
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:40,030
Well, in the spirit of St. Patrick's Day,
87
00:04:40,197 --> 00:04:42,699
I thought I'd come over here and give
you guys a chance to call off our little bet
88
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,118
and save yourselves
the supreme humiliation.
89
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,787
I'll tell you what, Gary.
90
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,039
We're going to win
this lousy bet this year.
91
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,457
Not only that, we're going to make
92
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,292
ten times more money than you.
And you know why?
93
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,376
Because we got a strategy.
94
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,378
If you're so sure of yourself, Malone,
95
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,339
maybe you'd like to raise the stakes
a little bit,
96
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,800
make it something more interesting
than the usual 100 bucks.
97
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,343
What you got in mind?
98
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,303
Just a little something
that the loser has to do.
99
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:05,514
What are you doing?
100
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,142
Oh, I don't know, Gary.
101
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,019
But...
102
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,021
Okay, well, if you're going
to be a chicken about it.
103
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:15,357
No, I'm not being chicken,
because we're gonna win anyway.
104
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:17,567
So, we got a deal.
105
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,569
All right, all right, yeah.
But wait a minute.
106
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,322
What are the ground rules?
107
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,658
Malone, there's only one rule.
No rules.
108
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,785
Just the way I like it.
109
00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,328
Great. May the best man win.
110
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Sam, may I have a word with you?
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Yeah.
112
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:33,542
I strongly urge you to reconsider.
113
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Listen, why do you think
Gary's so willing to up the stakes?
114
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,088
It stands to reason that he thinks
he's going to win.
115
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,214
No, no, he's bluffing.
116
00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,799
What makes you think that?
117
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,717
Well, he's beat us ten times in a row,
118
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,719
and not one of those times
has he raised the stakes.
119
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,305
He's running scared.
120
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:49,349
Well...
121
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,601
Don't I feel stupid?
122
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,603
All those degrees really don't do much,
123
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,565
do they, Dr. Crane?
124
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,029
Sammy, what's up?
125
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,656
I thought you wanted
to get an early jump on Gary.
126
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:07,826
- Yeah, I did. That's why I'm here at 9:00.
- 9:01, Sam.
127
00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,035
Some of us were here at 9:00.
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Relax, will you? It's in the bag.
129
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,874
I fixed it so Gary can't ever win.
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00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,208
- Yeah?
- Yeah? What'd you do?
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You're gonna love this.
132
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You know that sign he's got
outside his window--
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"50 cent beer,
St. Patrick's Day special?"
134
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,840
Yeah? Well, I added a zero.
135
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,467
I mean, who's gonna pay
$5.00 for a beer?
136
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Good one, Sam.
137
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,430
Yeah. Sometimes I scare myself.
138
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:30,098
It's 9:02, Sam. Let's go. Let's go.
139
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Oh, right. Sorry.
140
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:33,143
$5.00 Beer.
141
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,355
Let's see him top that, huh?
142
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,153
See, now,
143
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That's not right.
144
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,075
Gary did it to us again.
145
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,161
Walled off from the keg.
146
00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,748
I want him dead, Sam.
147
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,333
His family--
Dead.
148
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:58,418
His friends--
Dead.
149
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,462
Oh, no, see,
150
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:02,672
this is the lowest thing
a person can do.
151
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,549
This is pure evil.
152
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,759
Yeah.
153
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,969
Why can't we think like that?
154
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,596
Tell me about it.
155
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,014
I thought you left Woody here
156
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,016
to guard against things like this.
157
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,352
Sorry, Sam. I fell asleep.
158
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:23,068
They walled Woody in the bar!
159
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,863
Hey, Woody, you all right in there?
160
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,658
Well, I'm feeling lightheaded
and woozy, Sam.
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That's the way I want to feel.
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Somebody tear this thing down!
163
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,502
New Armani. New hair.
164
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,463
Am I ready for the Boston
League of Businesswomen
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00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,090
Or what?
166
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I just have to get my resume,
and then I'm on my way.
167
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:57,018
Is this in any way my fault?
168
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,687
No, sweetheart.
169
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Okay, then wish me luck. Bye-bye.
170
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,320
Well, crisis solved.
171
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,947
Where'd you get the beer?
172
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,616
I got a few squirreled away
around the bar, for emergencies.
173
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,036
I always kind of figured
it would be a nuclear thing,
174
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,080
but I think this qualifies.
175
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,878
Where would you like us
to set up, Mr. Malone?
176
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,171
Oh, hi, fellas.
177
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,424
Ac-- Yeah, why not?
178
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,260
I tell you what. Right over there.
Thank you very--
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00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:31,469
Hey, Norm, come here.
Carla...
180
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,304
Listen, we can still
win this thing, right?
181
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,557
We got the green beer.
We got the band.
182
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,350
All we got to do is get rid
of this wall somehow
183
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,310
and hustle like there's no tomorrow.
184
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,147
All we need is a little
winning attitude, right?
185
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:43,606
A little positivity.
186
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Fellas, do me a favor,
187
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,776
play us little something
to get us in the mood.
188
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:50,488
They broke into our Dublin home
189
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,366
The dirty English dogs
190
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,660
They took away my sister
191
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:59,080
And they beat my da with logs
192
00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:00,874
Limey scum
193
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:01,958
Limey scum
194
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,460
I toss a bomb
195
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,003
But still they come
196
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:06,296
Everybody!
197
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:07,756
Limey scum
198
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,090
Limey scum
199
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:10,341
I toss a bomb...
200
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:16,181
And everywhere I looked
201
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,476
Was death, death, death
202
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:22,145
Everywhere I looked
203
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:24,856
Was death, death, death
204
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,863
And now...
205
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,865
For a sad song.
206
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:38,995
'Twas a baby's crib
207
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,205
That floated--
208
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,247
No, no!
209
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,374
No baby's cribs! Stop it!
210
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,793
Get the hell out of here, will you?
211
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,252
Take your money. Go on, get out.
212
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,463
Go to hell.
213
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,678
Let's face it. It's over, huh?
214
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,806
Might as well tally up
and see what we got there.
215
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,224
Yeah, Woody, what's the total?
216
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,226
Well...
217
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,064
One million,
five hundred thousand.
218
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,566
Decimal point, Woody.
219
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,610
Hold everything.
220
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,196
$150 even.
221
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,408
Hey, guys, bad news.
222
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,827
Just came from Gary's.
223
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,496
He's raking in the money hand over fist.
224
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:22,872
Then again, why shouldn't he?
225
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,874
I mean, he's charging five bucks a beer.
226
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,003
Looks like we lost again.
227
00:10:29,254 --> 00:10:32,715
Well, Sammy, guess you're going
to have to fork over that 150 to Gary.
228
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,469
Actually, we raised the stakes,
remember, fellas?
229
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,139
- Oh, yeah, how much do you have to pay?
- Well, it's not money.
230
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,350
It's... more like
a little favor, actually.
231
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,935
Oh, yeah? What is it?
232
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,603
It's something that...
233
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:46,980
...people do every day.
234
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,648
I'm going to...
235
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:52,068
...need you three guys
to help me out here.
236
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,280
Hey, just once I'd like
to be included, huh?
237
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,906
All right, Paul. You're in.
238
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,284
Hey, thanks. I owe you, Sammy.
239
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,120
So what do we have to do?
240
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,622
It's no big thing really, Norm.
241
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,749
We just got to go over to Gary's and...
242
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:09,878
What?
243
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,588
It's no big deal.
244
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:12,881
Fellas, all we got to do is...
245
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,257
ls let him...
246
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:17,468
All right?
247
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:18,887
What?
248
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:21,347
Just get your coats and follow me.
I'll tell you on the way over.
249
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:22,515
Sam, what's the big deal?
250
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,559
Why don't you just tell us
what we have to do.
251
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,727
Alright, you gotta...
252
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,521
- Ohh!
- Aah! Ohh!
253
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,074
Well, what do you think?
254
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,451
Let's get it over with.
255
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,536
Yeah, yeah, all right, Gary, go on, go on.
256
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,788
Okay, I want to see some big smiles.
257
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,876
Ladies and gentlemen,
258
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,128
Gary's Olde Towne Tavern
has the privilege
259
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,631
of presenting an act so humiliating,
260
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:56,966
so embarrassing, so degrading,
261
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,093
that it could only happen
to the men of Cheers.
262
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,511
Let's hear it for them!
263
00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:05,433
Gentlemen...
264
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,355
Oh, yeah!
265
00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:13,441
Whoo!
266
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,611
Whoo! Whoo!
267
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,083
And three...
268
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,668
And four and...
269
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,337
Getting to know you
270
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:38,341
Getting to know all about you
271
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:41,302
Getting to like you
272
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,722
Hoping that you'll like me
273
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:47,558
Haven't you noticed?
274
00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:52,522
Suddenly I'm bright and breezy
275
00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:56,359
Because of all the
276
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:58,278
Beautiful and new
277
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:02,824
Things I'm learning about you
278
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,076
Day
279
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,995
By
280
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:08,830
Day
281
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,957
Yeah!
282
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:19,674
That was the low point in my life.
283
00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:23,428
Never, ever have I been naked
284
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,430
and not had fun.
285
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,767
I tell you, it was degradation.
286
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,270
I thought we were a lot tighter
the second show.
287
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,817
How am I ever going
to show my face in here again?
288
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,778
Paul, it's not your face that's burned
into my memory right now.
289
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,616
You know,
290
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,745
I kind of found the whole thing
quite exhilarating.
291
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,372
Exhilarating?
292
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,416
I meant humiliating.
293
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,338
It was really humiliating.
294
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,632
Guys, you've been really good to me,
295
00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,384
so I'm going to be good to you.
296
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:05,386
You need a finish.
297
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,181
Oh, yeah, that's real funny.
That's real funny.
298
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,432
I'll tell you something, man.
299
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,641
I'm going to get you.
300
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,310
I don't care how long it takes,
301
00:14:12,477 --> 00:14:13,227
how much money it costs,
302
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:14,812
how many lives are lost.
303
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,190
I'm going to get you, Gary,
once and for all.
304
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,359
Ooh, I hope not,
because I'm still shaking
305
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,235
from that terrifying
five-dollar-beer prank.
306
00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:24,280
Yeah, well, I'm still going to get you.
307
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,074
Sammy, let's give it up.
308
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,658
No, never!
309
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,160
I tell you, I'm going to get that guy.
310
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:30,912
I don't give a--
Oh, you know...
311
00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:33,331
Oh, yes. Yes, yes.
312
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,458
There's one guy who can
help us out here, fellas.
313
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,710
I'm calling in Harry the Hat.
314
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,379
Ah, yeah.
315
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,172
Now he's thinking.
316
00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,257
You know,
my underwear's a little tight.
317
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,550
That's funny.
318
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,677
You know, mine's a little loose.
319
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,429
- Aah!
- Aah!
320
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,018
Let me get this straight.
Over the years,
321
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,020
Gary has put sheep in your office,
322
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:58,147
had exterminators shut you down,
323
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,191
and then yesterday he built
a brick wall around the bar
324
00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,276
and had you perform naked?
325
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:05,071
Listen, we need your help bad, man.
326
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,240
I'm sorry, Sam. I'm not interested.
327
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:08,783
Oh, all right. Fine, fine.
328
00:15:08,950 --> 00:15:10,410
What is your price?
329
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:11,828
No, I don't want your money, Sam,
330
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:14,414
besides, if I did, I could take it.
331
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,541
I kind of like you guys,
332
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,292
so let me give you a piece of advice.
333
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,169
Stop trying to top Gary.
334
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:21,629
You're never gonna beat him.
335
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,798
Face it, you're a bunch of losers.
336
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,261
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
It's your nature.
337
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:29,929
You know, it's the way God made you.
338
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,305
You're part of his master plan.
339
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:32,557
If it weren't for you guys,
340
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,392
how would we know
who the winners were?
341
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,521
Well, well, we're not losers.
342
00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,606
All right, fine. Have it your way.
343
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,608
Woody, get me a beer.
344
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:43,901
Sure.
345
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,154
But don't forget to charge him, Woody.
346
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,530
Get some money out of him.
347
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,365
Yeah, all right,
what do I owe you, Woody?
348
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,075
Well, that'll be two dollars.
349
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,618
You know, I got a lot of change here.
350
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,162
Will you take all this?
Give me a 20.
351
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,247
Well...
352
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,623
Be careful there, Woody.
353
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,208
I think he's us pulling a flimflam,
354
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:00,960
- short change thing here.
- Really?
355
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,295
Yeah, yeah. Count the money.
356
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,297
Oh...
357
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,631
No, this isn't right.
358
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,841
Yeah, see?
359
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:07,925
You gave me too much.
360
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:08,926
Huh?
361
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,261
That's your tip, Woody.
362
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,804
Oh, no. I'm not falling for that.
363
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:14,307
I'll just keep the $2.00 for the beer.
364
00:16:15,766 --> 00:16:18,269
Yeah. You see, Harry?
365
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,354
We're not as stupid as you think we are.
366
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:21,939
No, I guess you're not.
367
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,733
Here's your wallet, Cliff.
368
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,737
Wow, he's good.
369
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,363
He's very good.
370
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,282
Who are we kidding, you guys?
371
00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,201
We might as well just quit.
372
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,286
Hey, wait--
Wait a minute.
373
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,787
Well, what are you saying?
374
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:38,372
You mean after what Gary's done to us,
375
00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,957
you're just going to roll over and die?
376
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:43,169
You're going to walk away,
you're gonna be a quitter, Sam?
377
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,379
Yeah, Carla.
That's exactly what I'm gonna do.
378
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:48,132
I'm going to quit.
I'm tired of losing to the guy.
379
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,800
Tomorrow I'm gonna go over there.
380
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,302
I'm gonna make my peace
with him once and for all.
381
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:53,971
Go, but I'm not letting him
off the hook.
382
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:55,681
This is personal now,
383
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,350
and I don't know what, I don't know,
384
00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,353
but I swear I'm going
to do something to that guy.
385
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,230
Come on, Carla,
we're willing to give in.
386
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:03,397
You should, too.
387
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,566
It's not like you had
to dance naked over there.
388
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:08,319
No, but I had to look at it on videotape.
389
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:11,864
Gary's selling videotapes?
390
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,743
No. He's giving them away
with every $5.00 beer.
391
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,374
Can you believe it?
392
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:22,833
The League rejected me.
393
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,293
Why?
394
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,212
Because they said
I was too self-involved
395
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,464
and that I wasn't
community-minded enough.
396
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,132
So now I have to spend
the next six months
397
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:33,386
doing community service...
Yawn.
398
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,805
Woody, get me a charity on the phone.
399
00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:38,849
- Which one?
- Well, how the hell do I know?
400
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,726
Just make sure it's close by.
401
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:44,355
And I don't want one
that's real depressing.
402
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:46,649
And no weekends.
403
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,515
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
404
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,103
Oh, God.
405
00:18:24,270 --> 00:18:25,438
Oh, God.
406
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,106
Oh, God.
407
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,066
Oh, Carla.
408
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,867
Carla...
409
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,661
I just came back from Gary's.
410
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,455
Wh-What were you thinking?
411
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:44,123
Are you crazy?
412
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,334
I really got him good, didn't I, Sam?
413
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,629
Got him good? Honey,
we're in serious trouble here.
414
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:51,672
What are you talking about?
415
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,924
Malone, you went way too far this time.
416
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,176
You're gonna go to jail for this.
417
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,012
I swear to God, Gare,
we had nothing to do with it.
418
00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,555
What are you talking about?
419
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:00,765
Just yesterday you swore
in front of witnesses
420
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:03,142
that you were going to ruin me.
You said you'd do anything.
421
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,102
That's true, Sam. I was there.
422
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,396
What the hell were you thinking, Malone.
423
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,148
Did you think you were gonna
get away with this?
424
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,484
Well, forget about it.
I'm gonna call the cops.
425
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,735
Cops? Wait a minute.
426
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:15,905
Putting a rat in a heating system
isn't even a misdemeanor.
427
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,949
Sweetheart, please.
You're just making things worse.
428
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:20,826
Hey, my bar is ruined.
429
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,120
Please, man, don't bring
the cops into this.
430
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,956
Listen, I'm begging you.
I'm on my knees here.
431
00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,333
No, you're not.
432
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,545
Oh...
433
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,008
Please, Gary.
434
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,219
Oh, and this is supposed to be enough?
435
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,137
Help me out here, will you, fellas?
436
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,764
Come on.
437
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:42,807
All right.
438
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:44,892
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
439
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,188
Sam...
440
00:19:49,438 --> 00:19:50,356
Ha ha! Gotcha!
441
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,274
That's news.
442
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,822
- What's-- What's going on here?
- You fell for it. It was a trick.
443
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,616
What do you mean, a trick?
I saw your bar being bulldozed.
444
00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,785
Somebody bulldozed your bar?
445
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,328
I bulldozed my bar.
446
00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:06,497
You see, I sold my property
to a commercial developer.
447
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,624
He's gonna put a shopping center
on my old spot.
448
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:09,959
I'm getting a million bucks for it.
449
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,419
But the best part is
450
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,170
You guys have humiliated yourselves
451
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,298
at the feet of the master
one last time.
452
00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,842
Well, the joke's on you.
453
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:21,011
We happen to need
a shopping center in this area.
454
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,597
Sam, hey, I hope you don't mind,
455
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,516
but since I don't have a bar anymore,
456
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,686
I invited the developer over here
to, you know, help me celebrate.
457
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,072
Sam, I'd like you to meet
your new neighbor--
458
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,866
Rutherford Cunningham.
459
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,576
Real nice place you have here.
460
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:47,872
Nice to meet you.
Sam, is it?
461
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,790
Yeah.
462
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,625
A bottle of your finest champagne.
463
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,794
Cheers.
464
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:56,464
Oh, Gary, phone's for you.
The bank.
465
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,674
Oh, Sam, do you mind if I take that
in your office?
466
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,593
It's big business, that sort of thing.
467
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,428
Sure.
468
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:06,223
The bank's not used to
million-dollar deposits. Ha ha ha!
469
00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:07,808
Well, Sam,
470
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,477
good to see you again.
471
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:13,022
Now, what's that I heard
about the finest champagne?
472
00:21:13,189 --> 00:21:14,523
Did you do this?
473
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,525
Did you destroy his bar?
474
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,693
No, I didn't.
475
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:20,029
Gary did.
476
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:21,781
He's the one who hired the bulldozer.
477
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:23,908
Me, I'm just an interested land developer
478
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,117
who's going to come up
479
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,495
a little short on funds.
480
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:30,080
Say about a million bucks short.
481
00:21:30,581 --> 00:21:33,125
I have the same problem
with the decimal point.
482
00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:37,296
Aah!
483
00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:39,048
Excuse me.
484
00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:41,175
I believe that's the sound
of my check bouncing.
485
00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:45,429
Mr. Cunningham?
486
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:49,225
Where's... Mr. Cunningham?
487
00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,018
He left.
488
00:21:51,185 --> 00:21:52,686
Why, Gary?
489
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,522
Oh, no reason.
490
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:58,317
Oh, man.
491
00:21:58,484 --> 00:21:59,860
Oh, you are terrific.
492
00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:01,278
Ohh!
493
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:07,952
You guys ever need any more help,
494
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:09,203
you just give me a call.
495
00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:10,496
Oh, thank you, Harry.
496
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,289
Don't mention it.
497
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:15,000
I guess I've always had a soft spot
for you lunkheads.
498
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:17,336
How are we ever gonna pay you back?
499
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,505
Sam, you already have.
500
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:20,840
Aw,
501
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,008
what a guy, huh?
502
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:26,387
Wonder what he meant by
we already have paid him back.
503
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:27,763
Oh, I don't know.
504
00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:30,391
Probably that warm spirit,
the camaraderie.
505
00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,142
You know, stuff like that.
506
00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,436
Yeah, yeah. He stole all my money.