1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,505 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:08,133 Hey, holy moly, guacamole! 3 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:09,760 - Normie. - Huh? 4 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,887 See that guy down there? 5 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:14,515 I think that might be Spanky McFarland from the old Little Rascals. 6 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,767 - Yeah, I think so. - Really? 7 00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:19,228 I'll go ask him. I'll go check it out. 8 00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,153 Hey, how you doing, sir? 9 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,364 - Hi. - Hey, my name's Cliff Clavin. 10 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,615 Hello, Cliff. 11 00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:34,993 You know, I know you've probably heard this a thousand times before, 12 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,789 but you do resemble that child actor Spanky McFarland from The Little Rascals. 13 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:40,541 - Well, that's because-- - 'Cause I'm one of the biggest 14 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,543 Little Rascals fans that ever was. 15 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,795 I mean, I got every episode on tape. 16 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:47,839 You know, well, except Free Eats and Captain Spanky's Showboat. 17 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,967 - That's great-- - Yeah, Alfalfa, 18 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,219 Darla, Buckwheat. Heh! 19 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,639 You know, I got to confess, I had quite a big crush on Darla. 20 00:00:55,806 --> 00:00:57,975 I got to tell you, you know, if you were Spanky, 21 00:00:58,141 --> 00:01:00,352 boy, I could sit here and chew on your ear for hours 22 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:03,438 about Happy Birthday, Mr. Hood 23 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:05,941 and the He-Men Women-Haters Club. 24 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:08,485 And, hey, remember the sound the cake made coming out of the oven? 25 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,113 Waaa-ohh. Huh? 26 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,115 So... Are you Spanky? 27 00:01:13,282 --> 00:01:14,491 Nope. 28 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,493 Ah! Take care. 29 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,203 Catch you later. 30 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,414 You are Spanky, aren't you? 31 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,332 Oh, yeah. 32 00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,550 Oh, no. Who's this guy? 33 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:17,804 Oh, well, that's Mr. Kevin Fogerty, our city councilman. 34 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,098 He's been there for three consecutive terms. 35 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:23,226 Running for re-election now. Nobody dares run against him. 36 00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,854 He's also very, very rude to voters 37 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:29,316 who call with perfectly normal and good suggestions. 38 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,236 Okay, Mr. Clavin, remember the rules. 39 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,113 You have to keep at least 50 feet 40 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,032 from Mr. Fogerty at all times. 41 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:40,285 I know. All right, all right. 42 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,204 Just to be safe, I better go back in the poolroom. 43 00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,499 I remember Fogerty. 44 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,459 He was here a couple of years ago trying to get our votes. 45 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:50,462 Oh, yeah. He bought me a beer. 46 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:51,880 Did you vote for him? 47 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,507 He bought me a beer. 48 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,220 Something has to be done, and the time is now. 49 00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,888 There he goes, 50 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:02,516 spouting a bunch of meaningless platitudes, 51 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,893 and sure enough, the people are lapping it up like milk. 52 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:08,313 The mentality of the voter in this country fascinates me. 53 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,524 Someday I ought to do a paper about it. 54 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,610 What's your problem with Fogerty? He's not a bad guy. 55 00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,488 Oh. All right, Sam. Why don't you ask him a question? 56 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:18,323 I'll bet you ten bucks all he gives you is 57 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,908 some meaningless politician's rhetoric. 58 00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,660 Yeah, all right. 59 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,662 Come on. You're on. 60 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,997 Excuse me, Mr. Fogerty, sir. 61 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:27,999 Can I speak to you for a second? 62 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,001 I'm Sam Malone. I'm the owner of the bar. 63 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:32,003 Got a question for you. 64 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,047 I'm a small businessman, and I was just wondering, 65 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,508 when is this economy gonna turn around? 66 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:38,176 I'm glad you asked that. 67 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,429 I say now is the time 68 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,806 to roll up our shirt-sleeves and get to the bottom of this. 69 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,183 The only way we're going to defeat this thing 70 00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:46,685 is if we all do it together. 71 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,856 I think you owe me ten bucks. 72 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,027 Hi. Kevin Fogerty, City Council. 73 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,488 Kevin Fogerty, City Council. 74 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,032 I hope I have your vote on election day. 75 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:04,244 And why exactly should I vote for you, Mr. Fogerty? 76 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,496 Well, because I'm a hard worker. 77 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:07,998 I take a stand. 78 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,458 On what, exactly? 79 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,209 The issues of the day. 80 00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:12,502 Which are? 81 00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:16,214 The things that concern you and your family the most. 82 00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,972 I think you're making an ass out of yourself. 83 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,143 I am not! I simply want the councilman 84 00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,145 to say one concrete thing. 85 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,522 Yes, I understand. You don't trust me. 86 00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:34,524 A lot of people don't trust politicians. 87 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,568 I know how it is. I have been out there. 88 00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,361 What does that have to do-- 89 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,988 May I finish, please? 90 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,784 Maybe we need someone to blame. 91 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:47,412 Maybe if we pick some faceless person at City Hall 92 00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:50,415 to be responsible for all our problems, 93 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:52,876 then we won't have to accept any responsibility at all. 94 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,212 Well, people, I say now is the time 95 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,214 to start looking in the mirror, 96 00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,591 because if this thing is going to work, 97 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,551 we are all going to have to make it work, 98 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,346 the way a bunch of people made something work 99 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:06,973 at Lexington and Concord. 100 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,351 You may remember it. It's called... 101 00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:10,602 America. 102 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,896 Yes! Bravo! 103 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:14,523 Whoo! 104 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,985 But he didn't say anything! 105 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,031 Thank you, people, for proving my point. 106 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,783 The voters of Boston are sheep. 107 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,160 No, I thought that was just a Hanover thing. 108 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,415 Look, all I'm saying is that when it comes to voting, 109 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:35,043 people just shut off their brains. 110 00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:37,420 I submit we could put a chimpanzee on the ballot 111 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,422 and garner ten percent of the vote. 112 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,425 Ho ho! Two Hanover things in one day? 113 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:45,136 You're exaggerating a little bit, aren't you? 114 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,680 No, Sam, I'm not. 115 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,682 Look, you know what? I'll go you one better. 116 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,309 I'll bet we could put Woody on the ballot and get ten percent of the vote. 117 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,520 Yeah, all right. I'll take ten dollars of that. 118 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,896 All right. You're on. 119 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,523 You know, come to think of it, 120 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,900 this'll make a fascinating study of voter psychology. 121 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,529 I submit if we just put Woody's name on the ballot, 122 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:05,532 circulate a few posters of his attractive, smiling face 123 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,910 over some meaningless slogan, come election day, 124 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,037 we'll get ten percent of the vote. 125 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,581 Come on, man. 126 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:14,165 Oh, okay, I'll prove it to all of you. 127 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,750 I'll start the process by getting his name 128 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,752 on the ballot this very afternoon. 129 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,754 I don't know, Dr. Crane. I'm not so sure 130 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:21,131 I want to get mixed up in all this. 131 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,383 Mixed up in what, Woody? 132 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,760 Oh, Dr. Crane wants me to run for City Council. 133 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,387 Oh, Woody, that's a wonderful idea. 134 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,307 - It is? - I'd be so proud if you were a politician. 135 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:34,686 Oh, Kelly, I'm not going to get mixed up in politics. 136 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,688 You live your life in a fishbowl, 137 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,315 everybody hates you, 138 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,317 the press is always criticizing you. 139 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,277 There's no way I'm running for public office. 140 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,279 All right, Mr. Stubborn. 141 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,281 From now on, you can dance naked 142 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,825 in front of the lava lamp all by your lonesome. 143 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,455 Well, maybe just one term. 144 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,880 Well, step one of my plan is complete. 145 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:05,467 Woody Boyd is now on the ballot for City Council. 146 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:06,968 I'll be damned. How'd you do that? 147 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,595 Well, it was really no trouble at all. 148 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,221 I simply stood out in front of a supermarket 149 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,222 with a petition. 150 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,683 When people asked me who I was supporting, I said, 151 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,603 "Woody Boyd, the man who stands for the American way." 152 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,731 Well, the sheep couldn't sign their names fast enough. 153 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:25,362 I also put up about three hundred of these guys here. 154 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,864 Three hundred? You think that's gonna be enough? 155 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,240 Well, there's no need to go crazy. 156 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,451 I only need to get ten percent of the eligible vote. 157 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:32,827 Well, in that case, why don't you just 158 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,288 put them up on Carla's headboard? 159 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,834 Oh... 160 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:43,463 Clavin, Clavin, Clavin. 161 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:46,466 When are you going to learn? 162 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,469 You see, now, I have to retaliate. 163 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,471 No, you don't have to, Carla. 164 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,473 You know, we could just pretend I didn't say anything 165 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,850 and just forget all about it, huh? 166 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,103 I can't forget. You know that. 167 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,940 All right. Well, just get it over with fast, then, will you? 168 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:04,859 All right. Thank you. 169 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:06,486 No, that's for even asking. 170 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:09,322 You can't hurry an artist. Ha ha ha ha! 171 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,409 Woody Boyd? 172 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:13,785 Right here. 173 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,787 Holly Matheson, Boston Herald. 174 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,415 I understand you're running for City Council. 175 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,541 - Yes, ma'am. 176 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:21,167 - You mind if I ask you a few questions? 177 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,962 Oh, I guess that would be okay. 178 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,382 Ha ha! Here's where your great experiment hits the wall, pal. 179 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,217 Well, maybe, maybe not. 180 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,511 It's all part of the experiment. 181 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,180 Let's start with our police force-- 182 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,182 Morale is at an all-time low. 183 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,184 Officers are underpaid and overworked. 184 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,853 What do you plan to do? 185 00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,646 Well, I don't know much about big city stuff. 186 00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:44,441 I was raised on a farm. 187 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:47,444 Oh, I get it. This is your hook. 188 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,447 You're the innocent farm boy telling the big city slickers 189 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,116 to clean up the barn and all that farm crap. 190 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,035 Well, no, it's not crap. 191 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,871 If you don't clean up the barn, you get rats. 192 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,373 Yes, yes. 193 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,293 So, in other words, it's time to clean up City Hall. 194 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:07,005 Well, I'm just saying that if you let the rats go, 195 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,383 then, you know, pretty soon you don't have a barn. 196 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:14,721 You just have kind of a... A rat place. 197 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,936 Okay, so if we don't do something now 198 00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,189 we'll loose our fair city. Blah, blah, blah. 199 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:28,943 You know my Grandpa Boyd caught a rat the size of a pig 200 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,738 or was it a pig the size of a rat? 201 00:09:33,531 --> 00:09:36,659 Well either way, it was a big hit at the county fair. 202 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,039 So what you're saying is, 203 00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,249 there are no easy answers. 204 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,543 Well, not for me, there aren't. 205 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:53,468 You really believe this farm stuff, don't you? 206 00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,095 All my heart. 207 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,722 Well, it's kind of a cornball message, 208 00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,475 but you just might be the kind of guy who can sell that stuff. 209 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:01,935 Oh, thanks, ma'am. 210 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:07,732 Woody, that was absolutely brilliant. 211 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,359 Ha. Some reporter. 212 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:12,195 She didn't even want to ask me about politics. 213 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,160 Oh, listen to this. 214 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,538 "Race in District Three is the one to watch 215 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,873 between incumbent Kevin Fogerty 216 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,960 and his idealistic young challenger, Woody Boyd. 217 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,587 Even this cynical reporter 218 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,340 was impressed by Boyd's simple, straightforward approach." 219 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:33,800 Ha ha ha! 220 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:37,345 Well, according to the latest poll, 221 00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:41,391 candidate Boyd now stands at eight percent. 222 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,268 Now, do I need to go for the two remaining percent, 223 00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:45,103 or have I proved my point? 224 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,188 You have proved your point. You win. 225 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,190 Ha ha ha! Very well. Thank you very much. 226 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:51,067 I guess I can put an end to this farce. 227 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,819 I'll take the posters down tomorrow. 228 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,320 Hey, hey, turn on the news. 229 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,865 Fogerty just got arrested for public drunkenness. 230 00:10:57,031 --> 00:11:00,493 - You're kidding. - Good God, this will be a major scandal. 231 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,412 You know, this could really rock his campaign. 232 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:06,374 I bet the person who's running against him is pretty happy. 233 00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:15,425 You know, I bet if we just 234 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,427 printed up a few more posters... 235 00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:20,430 Yeah. Maybe some door-to-door canvassing... 236 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,516 Yeah. Make some personal appearances... 237 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,893 We're going for it! 238 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,519 Yay! Yeah! 239 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,146 Whoo! 240 00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:30,398 Going for what? I missed a step. 241 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:41,326 Hi. I'd like to tell you about candidate Woody Boyd. 242 00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,952 He's challenging the status quo 243 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:44,704 and he's listening to the voters for a change. 244 00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,331 And while I have you on the phone, 245 00:11:46,497 --> 00:11:49,167 could I get two large pizzas with everything? 246 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:54,214 So... You don't plan to vote for Woody Boyd? 247 00:11:55,173 --> 00:11:59,677 Now according to the phone book your address is 151 Richmond? 248 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:03,640 Do your children like to run and play? 249 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,186 No, it's Boyd. B-O-Y-D. 250 00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,355 Well, he's destined for greatness. 251 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:12,357 He's one of the sharpest young political minds 252 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,359 to come along in quite a long time. 253 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,110 He's absolutely brilliant. 254 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,278 Me? 255 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:21,741 Well, I am... I'm 26. 256 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,494 You're not 26. 257 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,497 If Woody can be brilliant, I can be 26. 258 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:33,294 Well, never seen all you guys work so hard. 259 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:35,922 Yeah, well, Paul, you see, 260 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,926 most of us guys who hang around here day in, day out, 261 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,887 now, we frankly don't have much going for ourselves, 262 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:47,558 and Woody here has a shot at actually making the big time. 263 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:50,311 It's like he stands for all of us losers. 264 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,729 Even me? 265 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,523 Especially you, Paul. 266 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,608 Wow. 267 00:12:57,652 --> 00:13:01,489 Everyone, I'd like your attention, please. 268 00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:04,617 As you know, it's just 48 hours 269 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,828 until the big election day. 270 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:09,455 And I've been charting our progress up until now, 271 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:13,209 and I'd like to say with all confidence that I'm going to win! 272 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,837 We're going to win! 273 00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,255 Woody Boyd is going to be 274 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,215 the next city councilman of this fair district! 275 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,303 Gosh, Dr. Crane-- 276 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,804 Not now Woody, I'm talking 277 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:27,140 Now listen. I know we're not in the lead 278 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:29,309 but I can smell victory. 279 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,311 Now I just want you all to keep up the heat. 280 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:34,022 Let's not stop until we reach the victory party! 281 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:41,279 Well, Carla, I see you retaliated. 282 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:48,244 Yeah, it turns out she slipped me a mickey 283 00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,497 so I'd fall asleep in the poolroom. 284 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:56,127 As it turns out, I woke up to find that she had tied my shoelaces together. 285 00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:02,008 Fortunately, I noticed it before I took my first step. 286 00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,427 Good try, Carla. 287 00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,387 Better luck next time. 288 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:09,098 Excuse me. I have to go do my route now. 289 00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:18,274 Excuse me. Kevin Fogerty, City Council. 290 00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:20,902 I just wanted you to know 291 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,279 that I have always supported you people. 292 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,577 Too little, too late, Fogerty. 293 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:32,538 Woody Boyd. 294 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,165 Hi, Mr. Fogerty. 295 00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:36,542 So you're the young man everyone is talking about. 296 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,545 Well, it's nice to finally meet you in person. 297 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,965 You know, you remind me of a bright young comer 298 00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,927 that took this town by storm 30 years ago. 299 00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:48,888 His name was... Kevin Fogerty. 300 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,598 Any relation? 301 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,517 Ah! Ha ha! 302 00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:55,603 Boy, I'm looking forward to our debate tomorrow. 303 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,397 Debate? 304 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,607 Of course. On Channel Six. 305 00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,609 It's a tradition whenever there's a challenger. 306 00:15:01,776 --> 00:15:05,071 I think the voters deserve to hear our stands on the issues, don't you? 307 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,281 Oh, yes, of course we do, and we'll be there, sir. 308 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,908 Good. 309 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,828 I'm really looking forward to hearing your opinions. 310 00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,666 I don't know if I can handle a debate, Dr. Crane. 311 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,668 I'm not very good at rendering my opinion. 312 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,128 Nothing to worry about, Woody. 313 00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:21,712 Just tell some more of those farm stories. 314 00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:23,297 People seem to love those. 315 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,008 If that doesn't work, just say the word "change" about 100 times. 316 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,678 Come on, let's go to my place and work on it. Trust me, Woody. 317 00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:31,889 With my brains and your smile, who knows how high we can go? 318 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:34,475 Congressman, senator... 319 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,477 Who knows? 320 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,367 Would you please raise your right hand 321 00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,911 and repeat after me? 322 00:15:54,078 --> 00:16:00,001 I, Woodrow Tiberius Boyd, do solemnly swear... 323 00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:03,588 I, Woodrow Tiberius Boyd, do solemnly swear... 324 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:05,590 That I will faithfully execute 325 00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,176 The Office of the President of the United States 326 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,803 and will to the best of my ability 327 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,222 preserve, protect, and defend 328 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,808 The Constitution of the United States. 329 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,269 That I will faithfully... 330 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,981 Faithfully... 331 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:22,982 Execute. 332 00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:24,984 Execute... 333 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,360 The... 334 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:27,987 The... 335 00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,614 - Office... - Office... 336 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:30,990 - Of... - Of... 337 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,617 - The... - The... 338 00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:35,244 - President of the-- - I got that. 339 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,622 The President of the United States... 340 00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:41,042 And will to the best of my ability 341 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:43,211 preserve and protect and defend 342 00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:46,214 The Constitution of the United States. 343 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,591 Oh, boy. 344 00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:50,218 And... 345 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:51,844 And... 346 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,763 - Will... - Will... 347 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,307 - Protect... - Protect... 348 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,644 Oh, yeah? Well, I'm calling your bluff. 349 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,104 I'm firing my missiles, too. All of them! 350 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,650 Who was that, Woody? 351 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,652 How the hell should I know? 352 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,987 The phone rings, I answer it. 353 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,331 Aah! 354 00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,884 Woody! Thank God I got to you in time. 355 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,886 I got to talk to you. 356 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,888 What are you reading? 357 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,515 I'm boning up on The Constitution 358 00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,725 in case I ever decide to run for congreff. 359 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,271 It's congress, Woody. 360 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:47,358 In colonial times, the S's looked like F's. 361 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,985 Oh. Well, if I'm elected, 362 00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,486 that's the first thing I'm going to change. 363 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,197 Yes. Woody, I'm sorry. 364 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:55,283 There's one thing I've got to tell you. Listen. 365 00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:56,951 You have got to withdraw from the election. 366 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,536 What do you mean, Dr. Crane? 367 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,997 Well, aside from the nagging feeling that your election 368 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:04,292 Might actually mean the extinction of all life as we know it, 369 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,919 you're just not a politician. 370 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,213 Yeah, but you said it would be easy. 371 00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,299 In fact, you said not being a politician was my hook. 372 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,467 I know, Woody. I'm sorry. Listen, I-- 373 00:18:13,634 --> 00:18:16,220 I shouldn't have led you on. I guess I was just... 374 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,598 ...drawn in by the promise of power. 375 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,641 Oh, but Dr.-- 376 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,477 No "but, Dr. Cranes." Now, Woody, just listen to me. 377 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,106 Listen, the right to vote is far too sacred 378 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:31,110 to cheapen by some vain, psychological experiment. 379 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,945 I mean, your winning an election 380 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,114 without knowing anything at all about politics 381 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,491 would just make a mockery of the entire democratic process. 382 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,036 Woody, you have to withdraw. 383 00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,956 Well, there's no sense in arguing with you, Dr. Crane. 384 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,584 I mean, next to Mr. Clavin, 385 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,044 you're the smartest guy I know. 386 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,174 Well, what about the debate? 387 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,009 They're expecting me to go over there. 388 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,928 Woody, you'll just have to make a simple speech 389 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,889 and gracefully bow out. 390 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:03,392 Oh. I guess you're right, Dr. Crane. 391 00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,061 I got to do what I got to do. 392 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,605 It's too bad, though. 393 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,983 I was really looking forward to being a good city councilman 394 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:13,944 and working hard to make sure that 395 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,989 every person in my district was insured... 396 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,034 Life, liberty... 397 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:23,120 And the purfuit of happineff. 398 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:34,340 Welcome to the District Three City Council candidates' debate. 399 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,718 To my immediate right is councilman Kevin Fogerty. 400 00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:40,262 Boo! Boo! Boo! 401 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,974 To his right is the challenger, Woodrow Boyd. 402 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,560 Yay! Yay! 403 00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:48,979 Before we begin the questions, 404 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,357 each candidate will make a brief opening statement. 405 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,858 Mr. Boyd? 406 00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:58,614 Well, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. 407 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:02,618 As much as I've enjoyed getting to know you all, I... 408 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:05,413 I have to bow out of the race. 409 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,081 What the hell? Huh? 410 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:10,042 The fact is, I'm really not much of a politician. 411 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,796 In fact, I really don't know much about anything. 412 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:18,050 I just-- I just wanted to-- 413 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:22,763 I thought it'd be nice to be a city councilman. I mean... 414 00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:26,142 I'd do a good job, too. I promise. 415 00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,019 How bad could I screw up? 416 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:33,149 I mean, it's not like a councilman can declare war or anything. 417 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:35,151 I couldn't, could I? 418 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:40,448 It's just one vote. I mean, would it kill you to vote for me? 419 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:43,033 Oh, don't cry, Woody. 420 00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,036 Oh, well, this is my wife Kelly, 421 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:48,497 and she deserves better than just a simple bartender. 422 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,416 Oh, it's all right. 423 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,792 I love you, Woody. 424 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,836 I love you, too, Kelly. 425 00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,672 In fact, we both love you. 426 00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,299 Both? 427 00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,092 Yes. 428 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:03,846 This probably isn't the ideal time to tell you, but... 429 00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:07,224 You're going to be a daddy. 430 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:10,895 I'm gonna be... 431 00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,980 I'm gonna-- Oh! 432 00:21:13,147 --> 00:21:15,483 Did you hear that, everybody? I'm going to be a daddy! 433 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:16,859 Ha ha ha ha! 434 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:20,362 I love this country! 435 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,998 W-A-D-Wis now projecting a winner in District Three. 436 00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,834 Challenger Woody Boyd has been elected to City Council. 437 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,924 All right! Way to go, Woody! Hey, congratulations. 438 00:21:40,090 --> 00:21:41,300 I am so proud of you! 439 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,885 Oh, Sam. 440 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:45,930 Hey, good luck, all right? 441 00:21:46,096 --> 00:21:47,306 Don't forget that little talk we had 442 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,933 about extending unemployment benefits. 443 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:50,768 Consider it done, Mr. Peterson. 444 00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:56,315 Oh, hey, Dr. Crane, listen... 445 00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,943 I just wanted to thank you, you know. 446 00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:00,945 Without you, I couldn't have done this. 447 00:22:01,111 --> 00:22:02,947 In fact, you're directly responsible. 448 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,949 No one can prove that. 449 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:07,576 I know you don't have a lot of faith in me, Dr. Crane, 450 00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,203 but I'm going to prove you wrong. 451 00:22:09,370 --> 00:22:11,539 I'm going to study hard on all the issues 452 00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,166 and I'm going to be a great city councilman 453 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,335 and maybe this is just the first rung 454 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:17,837 on a very long ladder, 455 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,630 and you're the man who made it happen.