1 00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:04,588 Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience. 2 00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:10,802 Oh! Good thing I set my watch. Otherwise I would've forgotten something 3 00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,013 very important I have to do right at this very minute. 4 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,431 Yeah? What's that, Wood? 5 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:20,020 Did you need to take some medication? 6 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:21,813 No. 7 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:26,527 Well, maybe you're supposed to call somebody, huh? 8 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,570 No. No. 9 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,531 Perhaps you had an appointment. 10 00:00:31,490 --> 00:00:34,326 Maybe if I just don't think about it, it'll come to me. 11 00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:37,079 I wouldn't worry about it, Wood. 12 00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,581 As you get older, you know, the memory starts to go a bit. 13 00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,042 Myself, I was thinking about maybe signing up 14 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,710 for one of those memory classes. 15 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,837 That's it! My memory class. 16 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,342 Today's graduation. 17 00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:55,055 Oh, where did I park? 18 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,933 Oh. Oh, yeah. See? It's working. 19 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:46,982 - Evening, everybody. - Norm! 20 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:48,984 How's life treating you, Norm? 21 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,570 You know, Sammy, it's not, so I sure hope you are. 22 00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:53,697 Where's Woody? 23 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:57,200 His father-in-law took him and Kelly to see the Boston Symphony. 24 00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,162 Probably thought Woody needed a little musical culture. 25 00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,956 The Boston Symphony is offering Mahler's "Third" this evening. 26 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,000 One of my absolute favorites. 27 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:08,211 It always brings salt water to Lilith's eyes... 28 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,424 ...tears to you and me, saline secretions to her. 29 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:16,887 Mahler's "Third" takes over an hour and a half by itself. 30 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,389 The adagio alone is endless. 31 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:23,018 I beg your pardon. 32 00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:25,270 Since when do you know anything about classical music? 33 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,189 Since I was two years old. 34 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:29,524 My mother was a concert cellist. 35 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,943 I used to turn the pages for her while she was practicing, 36 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:33,695 and I loathe Mahler. 37 00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:37,074 Well, it must've been very enriching to have a mother who played the cello. 38 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,493 Like hell. Her food tasted like rosin, 39 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,953 and every time I tried to sit on her lap, I fell through. 40 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:48,377 Hey, Cliff ie, how you doing? 41 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,462 Not well, Sam. Boy, am I mad! 42 00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,382 I've never been this upset. 43 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,467 Three words, fellas. 44 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:57,928 Three words. Dames is grief. 45 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,808 - Fighting with Ma, huh? - Oh, and how. 46 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:07,270 Seems like that's all we do anymore. You think it would be a perfect setup, 47 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:09,815 a mother and grown son living in a one-bedroom apartment. 48 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:10,899 But no. 49 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,361 Reality check, gentlemen. 50 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,488 Life is not like the movies, I guess, huh? 51 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,950 I'm sure it'll all blow over, Cliff ie. 52 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,702 No, Sammy, not this time. 53 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,412 I tell you, the broad's pushed me too hard. 54 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:24,663 Too hard I tell you. 55 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,748 It's about time I started pushing back. 56 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,834 She's just gone and created a monster, that's all, 57 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:32,546 but this monster is not going to lie in some tomb of ice. 58 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,714 No, sirree. 59 00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:37,509 My anger will melt that ice so that I might rise up 60 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:39,886 and crush the Tokyo, the buildings there... 61 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,473 - ...beneath the talons of my animosity. - Cliff... 62 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:47,102 Cliff, we all appreciate how hard you're working on this metaphor, 63 00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:48,311 but we get the idea. 64 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,863 What a majestic composer that Mahler was. 65 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,489 What a piece of work. 66 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,659 I'll go upstairs and see if Melville's is still serving dinner. 67 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:06,747 Kelly, you go to a lot of those classical concert things. 68 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,583 - Do you really enjoy them? - Oh, I love them, Sam. 69 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:13,170 I just sit there and let my mind become a total blank. 70 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,466 - How do you do that? - How do I do what? 71 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:22,387 You have a nice dinner, Kelly. 72 00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:26,141 Why don't you order some protein, sweetheart? 73 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,352 That opening piece... 74 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:33,565 That gorgeous Dvorák cello concerto in... 75 00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:35,108 - ...what was that? - B-minor. 76 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,985 Yes. I thought that was... 77 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,698 Why, Miss Howe, I'm flabbergasted. 78 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,200 B-minor's correct. 79 00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,534 Believe me, I know. 80 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:46,661 My compliments. 81 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,079 Obviously when you've worked at the house, 82 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,165 I've failed to appreciate your depth. 83 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,833 Not to mention her width. 84 00:04:56,338 --> 00:05:00,008 You know, I've always thought that Mahler was an acquired taste. 85 00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:01,718 You can say that again. 86 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,137 You know, it was a shared love for music 87 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,473 which first attracted me to my ex-wife. 88 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:10,060 Really? 89 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,396 Do you know Mahler's "Fourth"? 90 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:16,525 It's only my fave, that's all. 91 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,694 Hey, Woody, how did it go, man? 92 00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,071 Sam, you were right. 93 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,448 Soon as those lights dimmed, I was sound asleep. 94 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,034 These things really came in handy. 95 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,538 Here, give me those. 96 00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,832 Yeah, I tell you, these things bailed me out quite a few times. 97 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,877 Got me through a lot of heart-to-heart pillow talk with Diane. 98 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:41,550 That cello concerto, it gets everyone. 99 00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,219 I stole a look at the young people during the allegretto, 100 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:48,723 and I must admit even Woody was displaying unusual intensity. 101 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:54,229 Woody, they say we can still eat if we order right now. 102 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,567 You know, Miss Howe, I know this is late notice, 103 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,485 but are you free this Saturday night? 104 00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,863 I'm having some people in to listen to classical music. 105 00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,072 This Saturday? 106 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:07,242 - If you're busy... - No, no! I'm... I'm available. 107 00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:10,579 Oh. Splendid. Shall we say around 7:00? 108 00:06:10,745 --> 00:06:11,913 7:00. 109 00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:15,834 Oh, my God. 110 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:17,836 Did you just hear what happened? 111 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,421 I certainly did. 112 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:22,799 This incredibly rich man asked me out, 113 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:25,802 and all this time, he's been there, right in front of my nose. 114 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,179 Well, congratulations, honey. 115 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,390 I think he loves me. 116 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,685 Oh, slow down, will you? Just slow down. 117 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,478 All he did was ask you for a date. 118 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,481 All Charles did was ask Diana if she wanted a cup of tea, 119 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,817 and look how that turned out. 120 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,777 Their marriage is in shambles. 121 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,697 "Shambles'? She got three castles and 80 mil. 122 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,240 I call that "happily ever after." 123 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,536 I forgot my purse. 124 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:53,747 Kelly. 125 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:57,083 Kelly, is your dad seeing anyone special? 126 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,752 No, and I wish he were. 127 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,546 Since the divorce, he just mopes around the house. 128 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:03,757 I sure wish he'd meet someone wonderful. 129 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,300 Oh, so do I. 130 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,302 For you, I mean. 131 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,304 You know, Kelly, 132 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:14,351 isn't it rough on you not having a mother around? 133 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,979 I mean, you don't even have a stepmother, 134 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:23,193 somebody to chat with and to share things with, 135 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:27,489 to confide and tell all your special little secrets to. 136 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,366 Boy, I'll say. 137 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,993 Like there's this thing Woody does when we make love. 138 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,620 Now tell me if you think this is normal. 139 00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,413 Let's just save it. 140 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,873 I think your soup's getting cold. 141 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,084 Come on, honey. Go on upstairs. Bye-bye. 142 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,469 Hey, Carla, give me a quick coffee, will you? 143 00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,054 I got some major driving to do. 144 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,515 Cliff ie, where have you been the past few days? 145 00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:55,225 Getting my nerve up. 146 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:56,393 For what? 147 00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:57,894 Something drastic. 148 00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,562 You and your mom still fighting? 149 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,855 No, that's... 150 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:03,400 ...not a problem anymore. 151 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,194 Well, why, Cliff? Why not? 152 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,363 Well, because I had all I could take. 153 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,701 Something unpleasant had to be done. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't easy, but... 154 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,828 ...she won't be bugging me anymore. 155 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,542 So, what's been going on around here? 156 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,131 Cliff, your Ma's still at your place, isn't she? 157 00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:29,426 No, she's... out in the car. 158 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,221 Why didn't you bring her in? 159 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:37,767 Everybody's getting kind of nosy around here, huh, don't you think? 160 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,145 Can we talk about something else, please? 161 00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,938 You love talking about your Ma. 162 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,190 Hey, subject closed, all right? 163 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,401 Ah, forget it. 164 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:48,820 Maybe there aren't so many Ma lovers out in the woods. 165 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:57,704 I knew this day would come. Clavin whacked his mother. 166 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,041 Come on, Carla, he said she was out in the car. 167 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,293 Yeah, and soon she'll be out in the woods. 168 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,463 Maybe she's just getting her own place, you know? 169 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,548 Yeah, she's probably getting a lot of places, 170 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,092 especially after the bears dig her up. 171 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:15,305 Oh, knock it off, Carla. Cliff didn't kill anybody. 172 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,390 Why not? 173 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,100 What do we really know about him? 174 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,519 We know he is weird. 175 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:24,230 Okay, he's weird, but he's not that weird. 176 00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,607 Look, to kill his mother, he'd have to be 177 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:29,319 some kind of slobbering, degenerate, dual-personality psychopath. 178 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,237 Anybody got a problem with that? 179 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,240 I can't believe I'm hearing this. 180 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,409 If you really think Cliff is capable of murdering his mother, 181 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,036 why do you remain his friends? 182 00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:39,829 He's my ride. 183 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,343 Well, here we are. 184 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,012 Oh, Ma, look at this. 185 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,389 Even better than the picture in the brochure. 186 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:01,059 Yes, I expect I'll be perfectly delighted 187 00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:03,728 once I stop weeping and feeling carsick. 188 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,772 Oh, come on, Mom. The ride wasn't that bad. 189 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,858 You drive too fast. All young people do. 190 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,820 I've often said a lot of needless accidents 191 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:16,032 could be avoided if they'd just raise the legal driving age to 50. 192 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,576 Well, I was just in a hurry 193 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,037 to get you to this beautiful retirement community. 194 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:24,040 - I'll say. - Talk about luxury, huh? 195 00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:27,669 That bed, that's practically king-sized. 196 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,964 King Richard III. Wasn't he the dwarf? 197 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,718 Well, what do we got here? 198 00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,720 Look at this, Ma. 199 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,265 You got a beautiful view of the woods here. 200 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:41,808 Boy, oh, boy. 201 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,978 When I see a place like this, I almost wish I was retired. 202 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:49,524 Clifford, are you sure we can afford a place like this? 203 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,068 Oh, yeah, Ma. Don't worry. Your insurance policies will cover it. 204 00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,486 Oh, that's convenient. 205 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,156 You'll have money left for hooch and slatterns. 206 00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,074 Oh, come on, Ma. 207 00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,951 You know I'm just doing what's best for you. 208 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:04,414 Come on, Ma, we both got to be strong about this. 209 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,210 I suppose you're right. 210 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,171 You're darn tooting I'm right. 211 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,339 I mean, you're going to have a lot of fun here, Ma. 212 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,633 The brochure says the day's crammed with activities. 213 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,886 You'll play bingo to your heart's content. 214 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:21,139 You'll make new friends. These are your golden years. 215 00:11:21,306 --> 00:11:22,640 Oh, bless your heart. 216 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,018 You've given me what every mother dreams of... 217 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,605 a tastefully furnished room in which to die among strangers. 218 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,190 Ma, come on. 219 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,651 We're going to be strong, remember? Now, is there anything you need? 220 00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:35,028 Well... 221 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,530 You could keep my garden up. 222 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,366 I think there were a couple of bags left 223 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,411 of that steer manure you gave me last Mother's Day. 224 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,664 Okay. I'll go do that now. 225 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:47,832 Bye-bye. 226 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,381 - Ma, will you stop that? - All right. Good-bye. 227 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:00,803 Ma! 228 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,224 - What? I'm just standing here. - You're making those noises. 229 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:07,143 I don't hear any noises. It must be your guilty conscience. 230 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,478 You run along. 231 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:12,023 I expect they'll be here any minute to prep me for my lobotomy. 232 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,277 Ma, you're not going to make me feel guilty. 233 00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:19,822 Now I'm going to leave, and I'll see you next visitor's day. 234 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,366 Bring cigarettes. 235 00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,618 They're money in these places, you know. 236 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:31,834 Presto. 237 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,962 Wow, that's a nifty gizmo for cracking locks, Carla. 238 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,046 Where'd you get it? 239 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,298 My kid made it in shop for Mother's Day. 240 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:42,345 I don't feel right breaking into Cliff's place like this. 241 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:44,472 We got to do it now while he's out driving. 242 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:45,890 It's the only way we're going to find out 243 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,350 what happened to his mother. 244 00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,435 Yeah, besides, it's kind of exciting, isn't it? 245 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:53,564 You know, I always used to dream of being a sophisticated international jewel thief, 246 00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,109 leaping catlike from balcony to balcony. 247 00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:02,073 We got to see if we can find any trace of that poor woman. 248 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,492 Look at this place. It gives me the creeps. 249 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,704 Look, Paul, go see what's in there, okay? 250 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,123 Just the head. 251 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:12,500 Oh, relax. 252 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,253 It's another word for bathroom. It's an old navy term. 253 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,088 You were in the navy? 254 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:20,049 Mess cook. That dream came true. 255 00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:22,510 Go snoop around in there. 256 00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,929 See if you can find any intimate feminine stuff. 257 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,139 Aye, aye. 258 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,225 There's a jar of bubble bath. 259 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:31,102 Ah, no, that's Cliff's. 260 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,231 He uses it because he thinks it keeps dogs from biting him on his route. 261 00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,359 Biting him on his what? 262 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,449 When he's out delivering mail, doofus. 263 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,118 Is there anything else in there? 264 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,455 Just guy stuff, 265 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:53,624 soap, toothpaste, aftershave. 266 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:58,129 You know what's weird about this? This closet has all Cliff's stuff 267 00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,631 but not even a trace of any of Ma Clavin's stuff. 268 00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,300 Yeah? What about this skirt? 269 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,093 That's Cliff's. 270 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:07,430 That's a kilt. He wore it to the Postman's Ball, remember? 271 00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,599 "A Night in Glasgow" was the theme. 272 00:14:10,892 --> 00:14:12,226 This is fiendish. 273 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:15,271 It's like he's just eliminated all traces of her. 274 00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:16,939 It's as though she never existed. 275 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:19,067 You're right. It is beginning to get suspicious. 276 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,943 Hey, wait a minute. 277 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,570 What's this? 278 00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:24,614 Oh, no. That's the mail. Come on, that's private. 279 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:27,617 Right. Like Cliff's never read anyone else's mail. 280 00:14:29,577 --> 00:14:34,415 "Dear Mr. Clavin, I am forwarding you all your mother's insurance policies 281 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,042 under separate cover." 282 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:40,004 - This is the smoking gun. - Let's get out of here. 283 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,298 Too late. He's coming up the stairs. 284 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,258 Get in the closet. 285 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,885 There's not enough room in here. 286 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,304 Everybody take a deep breath. 287 00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,315 Well... 288 00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,484 I hope you're satisfied, Clavin. 289 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,491 You done it now... 290 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,284 ...the dirty deed. 291 00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:13,996 There's no going back. 292 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,666 So long. 293 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:17,917 Arrivederci. 294 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,585 Sayonara. 295 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,380 Jak się masz? 296 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,176 Oh, who am I kidding? 297 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,388 I can't just pretend to go on like nothing's happened. 298 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,558 I got to talk to somebody, 299 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:36,477 somebody who will understand me... 300 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,522 Somebody who won't condemn me. 301 00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,151 Ma, I'm going down to Cheers. 302 00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,237 Get me. 303 00:15:53,911 --> 00:15:54,829 Hey... 304 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,583 Well, sounds pretty bad for Ma Clavin. 305 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,002 - Let's get out of here. - Wait a minute. 306 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:05,214 No one is going anywhere until I find out who had their hands on my butt. 307 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:10,219 All right. That was me. I thought you had gum. 308 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,387 You... 309 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,021 How do I look? 310 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,856 Dressed a little fancy, aren't you, 311 00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:24,108 to go to some guy's house and listen to some music? 312 00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:28,988 First of all, it is not a house. It is a stately mansion. 313 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:33,659 And secondly, it's not some guy. It is Mr. Gaines, the man I adore. 314 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,955 Adore? Come on. What are you doing? 315 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,416 You don't even know the guy's first name, do you? 316 00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:41,626 It's Mister. 317 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,129 And if I play my cards right tonight, 318 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,465 I might just become Mrs. Mister Gaines. 319 00:16:48,674 --> 00:16:49,967 Just think of it, Sam. 320 00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:54,514 Starting tonight, I am no longer the old Rebecca Howe. 321 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,934 I am the new Rebecca Howe. This is going to be the start... 322 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:00,353 - ...of a whole new life for me. - Of a whole new life for me. 323 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,941 - Have I said that before? - Only about a thousand times. 324 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:06,025 Well... 325 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,610 - ...this time is different. - This time is different. 326 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:15,159 Hon, you're doing it again. You're going completely overboard. 327 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,745 You do this time and time again, and I just... 328 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,497 I don't want to see you get hurt. 329 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:23,584 You're right. 330 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,379 I'm rushing into things again, aren't I? 331 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,547 Yeah. 332 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:31,300 Listen, listen, it's just a simple date, right? 333 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:34,220 You're going over to the guy's house, and you'll listen to a little music. 334 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,180 That's right, I'm just listening to a little music. 335 00:17:36,347 --> 00:17:37,223 Yeah. 336 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,517 And I do like some classical music. 337 00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,937 Maybe they'll play Wagner. I like Wagner. 338 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:45,189 What's that catchy little tune that he has that I like? 339 00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,357 Oh, I know. 340 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,655 You're impossible. You're doing it... 341 00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,079 - Sam, you busy? - Who is it? 342 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,040 - It's Cliff. - Then, yeah. 343 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,502 Thanks, Sam. 344 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:11,007 Well, I... 345 00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:14,552 I'm really upset about something. I just need your advice, pal. 346 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:19,807 Cliff, they make fun of you because they love you, okay? 347 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:26,522 Thanks, Sam, but that's not really why I came in here. 348 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:28,733 Oh, then, why? 349 00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,902 Well, Sam, I want to talk about Ma. It's... 350 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:38,618 We've been fighting a lot lately, and we've decided that... 351 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,995 she should go live at a retirement community, 352 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:44,498 and, oh, Sammy, I'm the worst son in the world. 353 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,251 Oh, now, hey... 354 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,962 Listen, all families... 355 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,964 Do me a favor. You want to sit on the desk? 356 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:54,925 Thank you. 357 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,803 All families go through this, Cliff ie. 358 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,056 You know, I think you're doing the right thing. 359 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:04,101 I'll bet she's going to be real happy, right? 360 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,062 I mean, you picked a nice place. 361 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:09,607 Oh, yeah, a real nice place. Famous, too. 362 00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:11,484 It was profiled on "60 minutes." 363 00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:18,366 You know, a couple weeks later, they went back and did a follow-up. 364 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,701 Well, there you go, Cliff. 365 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,912 Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right, Sam. 366 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,247 I still feel a little bit guilty. 367 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,375 Yeah, well, you know, there's no need for that. 368 00:19:27,541 --> 00:19:29,126 I think you're doing the right thing, pal. 369 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,128 Oh, hey, Sam? Listen... 370 00:19:31,295 --> 00:19:35,132 I appreciate it if you didn't spread it around, this little talk we had. 371 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:37,635 I only told you because we're best friends. 372 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,304 Well, fair enough. You know, but... 373 00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,848 ...maybe we shouldn't spread that around, either. 374 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:46,727 - I'm with you, Sam. - All right. 375 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:51,440 I'll be back in a while there, Woody. 376 00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:54,819 Just remembered a job I have to take care of at home. 377 00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:56,445 All right, Mr. Clavin. 378 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:57,655 Hey, Cliff ie. 379 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,618 Oh, it's nice to see you guys, too. 380 00:20:03,494 --> 00:20:04,829 - Yeah. - So, where you been? 381 00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:07,123 Here, there, everywhere, you know. 382 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,999 Yeah. We didn't hear anything. 383 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,585 Oh, yeah. Save a beer for me, will you? 384 00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,047 Hey, where's he going? 385 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,258 He said he had a job to take care of at home. 386 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,636 Oh, yeah. A little digging in the backyard, maybe. 387 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,179 Get rid of the murder weapon. 388 00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:25,182 Come on, Carla. I can't believe you people are still pursuing 389 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,309 that paranoid fantasy about Cliff. 390 00:20:27,476 --> 00:20:29,228 It's no fantasy, Frasier. 391 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,105 And isn't it interesting 392 00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:33,357 that you're the one who keeps defending him? 393 00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,317 I'm not defending him. I'm merely saying... 394 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,862 Where is Lilith these days anyhow? 395 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,991 Has anyone here heard from Lilith lately? 396 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:43,534 Oh, come on, Carla. Lay off. 397 00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,244 And what about Vera, Norm? 398 00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:47,246 - Where is Vera? - Carla... 399 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:50,291 Has anyone ever seen Paul's alleged ex? 400 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,042 You're all sick. 401 00:20:52,543 --> 00:20:56,046 It's an evil conspiracy, a bunch of frustrated men 402 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,466 who slaughter women and then chop up their bodies 403 00:20:58,632 --> 00:20:59,842 in the dead of night. 404 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,053 Oh, man. 405 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,724 I better have a date pretty soon, or I'm going to start turning weird. 406 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:28,412 Why, Miss Howe, I was just beginning to worry about you. 407 00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:31,081 Oh, please. Call me Rebecca. 408 00:21:31,248 --> 00:21:33,042 What a lovely home you have. 409 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,086 So many possibilities. 410 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:37,254 Why, thank you. 411 00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:39,089 You should enjoy yourself this evening. 412 00:21:39,256 --> 00:21:40,674 We're having an all-Mahler program. 413 00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,676 - Oh, wonderful. - Yes. 414 00:21:43,469 --> 00:21:45,471 I've hired a very gifted German baritone. 415 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,599 He'll be performing Mahler's "Kindertotenlieder," 416 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:50,309 "Songs on the Death of Children." 417 00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,729 Well, if we don't have fun tonight, we never will. 418 00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:57,191 And you should be able to hear adequately from your station, 419 00:21:57,358 --> 00:21:58,943 where you'll be performing your duties. 420 00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,237 My station? 421 00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,280 Yes, you'll be tending bar just through that door. 422 00:22:03,447 --> 00:22:05,699 You know, we didn't have a chance to discuss your wages. 423 00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,786 - Now, I want to be fair. - My station? My duties? 424 00:22:08,953 --> 00:22:10,204 Hives here has your apron. 425 00:22:10,371 --> 00:22:11,330 Hives... 426 00:22:11,497 --> 00:22:12,623 He'll explain your duties. 427 00:22:12,790 --> 00:22:14,291 I'll start off with a white wine. 428 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:17,419 My station? My duties? My apron? 429 00:22:17,586 --> 00:22:19,171 Fancy dress. 430 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:22,258 Hives, I think there's been a terrible mistake here. 431 00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:24,301 You see, I think I was supposed to be... 432 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,679 ...Mr. Gaines' date for this evening. 433 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,013 Really? 434 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,307 Oh, they'll love that in the kitchen. 435 00:22:33,519 --> 00:22:34,603 Thank you. 436 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,106 You're very kind. 437 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:54,290 Oh, honey, I'm sorry to hear that. 438 00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,500 I'll be over as soon as I can. 439 00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:58,586 - Shoot. - Who was that? 440 00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:01,171 Ah, it was Rebecca. She's all upset. 441 00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:02,882 Your father-in-law invited her 442 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:06,260 over to his place to listen to a musicale tonight. 443 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,888 She thought she was supposed to be his date, 444 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:10,723 got all dressed up in a fancy dress. 445 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,559 Turns out she's only there to tend bar. 446 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:15,728 How could she make that mistake? 447 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:18,397 Come on, Woody. Put yourself in her position. 448 00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:20,816 An attractive guy asked you over to his place 449 00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:23,235 to listen to some music, wants you to wear a fancy dress. 450 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,070 - You'd go, wouldn't you? - Oh, no. 451 00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,865 No, my high school drama teacher tried that one on me. 452 00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:30,159 Once bitten, twice shy, my friend. 453 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,853 Maybe I'm misreading this. 454 00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:01,023 Maybe this really is a date. 455 00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:05,444 No, it isn't! 456 00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:09,239 Two red wines... 457 00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,785 And do try to pour them evenly this time. 458 00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:16,622 Do try to pour them evenly. 459 00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:01,375 Oh, sweetheart, sweetheart. 460 00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:03,377 I came as soon as you called, honey. 461 00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:07,464 Baby, I don't blame you for being disappointed. 462 00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:09,466 - I'm not disappointed! - Well... 463 00:25:09,633 --> 00:25:11,176 I'm humiliated! 464 00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,345 I thought... 465 00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,472 I'm going to tell you what really hurts me. 466 00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:18,976 I thought that he really liked me. 467 00:25:21,186 --> 00:25:24,064 Oh, Sam, you need to stand in for me tonight. 468 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:26,608 Please? I'm too embarrassed to go out there again. 469 00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:29,028 I know. I know. All right. I'll tell you what. 470 00:25:29,653 --> 00:25:31,447 Let me just collect some empties. 471 00:25:31,613 --> 00:25:32,614 Here we go. 472 00:25:33,741 --> 00:25:35,284 I'll take over as soon as I get back. 473 00:25:35,451 --> 00:25:36,660 Thank you. 474 00:25:43,667 --> 00:25:45,544 You're kidding, Sam. 475 00:25:45,711 --> 00:25:47,629 Miss Howe thought this was to be a date? 476 00:25:47,796 --> 00:25:48,714 Yes, sir. 477 00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:51,383 And to tell you the truth, sir, I heard what you said, 478 00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,343 and I thought the same thing. 479 00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:54,511 You did? 480 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,722 My Lord. 481 00:25:57,431 --> 00:26:00,017 Although, and I don't mean this in any way personally, 482 00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:03,187 you'll have to admit you are far from the brightest person in the world. 483 00:26:03,896 --> 00:26:06,565 True. That's... that's very true, sir. 484 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,070 You know, Rebecca's been looking forward to this evening 485 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,906 the whole week and, between you and me, sir, 486 00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:15,407 she finds you very attractive, 487 00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,785 and I think she thought the feeling was mutual. 488 00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:20,954 Miss Howe is attracted to me? 489 00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:22,081 I had no idea. 490 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:26,210 You see, Sam, I'm not exactly what you'd call a ladies' man. 491 00:26:28,045 --> 00:26:29,713 Well, if you don't mind, sir, 492 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,508 have you ever considered that it might be your hair? 493 00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:39,139 Sam, why don't you go in the bar and relieve Rebecca? 494 00:26:39,306 --> 00:26:41,433 Send her out here, and I'll try to make it up to her 495 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,893 by having her as my guest. 496 00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:45,354 Oh, thank you, sir. That's the right thing to do. 497 00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:46,688 We'll talk later. 498 00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:54,488 Okay. Everybody stand up straight. 499 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,324 What are you doing? 500 00:26:57,866 --> 00:27:00,452 Well, I'm taking some of the wine out of these bottles, 501 00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:02,788 so that when I pour them in the glasses they'll be even. 502 00:27:05,749 --> 00:27:07,126 How much have you had to drink? 503 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,086 In my life or tonight? 504 00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:11,421 Tonight. 505 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:13,090 Well, that's hard to say 506 00:27:13,715 --> 00:27:15,926 because I've been drinking. 507 00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:19,763 Oh, boy, oh, boy. 508 00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:21,223 Oh, boy, oh, boy, what? 509 00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:25,519 Mr. Gaines just realized his mistake, and he wants you to be his date 510 00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:26,728 for the rest of the evening. 511 00:27:27,354 --> 00:27:28,355 He does? 512 00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:30,899 Oh, he loves me again. 513 00:27:34,695 --> 00:27:37,781 - My ship has come in. - Not yet it hasn't. 514 00:27:37,948 --> 00:27:39,575 We're going to have to sober you up, sweetheart. 515 00:27:39,741 --> 00:27:41,285 Okay, then. Give me a Tic Tac. 516 00:27:41,451 --> 00:27:42,828 No, no, no, no, no. 517 00:27:43,954 --> 00:27:46,290 We're... we're way beyond Tic Tacs. 518 00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:47,541 - We are? - Yeah. 519 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:48,917 Oh, God. Oh, no. 520 00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:50,752 You're going to have to help me here because... 521 00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:54,381 I can't let Mr. Gaines see me like this because he's gonna think I'm drunk. 522 00:27:54,882 --> 00:27:56,341 Now, you have been drunk before. 523 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:58,760 What did you use to do when you used to try and get sober? 524 00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:00,262 Well, I had... 525 00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:02,681 Yeah. Actually, I did have this little trick. 526 00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,559 It kind of hurts, but it works. 527 00:28:08,103 --> 00:28:09,146 Okay, what is it? 528 00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:17,487 Honey, I got to get some coffee in you. 529 00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:20,073 I'll be right there. 530 00:28:26,747 --> 00:28:28,874 - Well, Norm? - Well, nothing. 531 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:31,001 I just keep getting Cliff's answering machine. 532 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:34,671 No word of his Ma or any forwarding address or anything. 533 00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:35,756 Well, that's weird. 534 00:28:37,674 --> 00:28:40,719 You know what's weirder is the outgoing message. 535 00:28:40,886 --> 00:28:42,638 You know, for years, how it was Cliff and his Ma 536 00:28:42,804 --> 00:28:44,389 singing "Come On-A My House"? 537 00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:47,809 Well, now it's just Cliff, 538 00:28:48,310 --> 00:28:50,187 and I got to tell you, I miss that harmony. 539 00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:52,981 Come on, you guys. 540 00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:55,567 You can't really believe that Cliff killed his mother. 541 00:28:57,778 --> 00:28:58,946 Hey, everybody. 542 00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:07,913 What's in the sacks, Cliff? 543 00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:11,208 Just some old things of Ma's. I'm getting rid of them. 544 00:29:13,210 --> 00:29:16,129 I just can't stand to have them around the house anymore. 545 00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:18,382 Cliff... 546 00:29:20,259 --> 00:29:23,428 You've been acting a little strange lately. 547 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:24,429 Is there... 548 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,766 Is there anything on your mind that you'd like to dis... 549 00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:31,687 Say, is that dirt underneath your nails? 550 00:29:33,397 --> 00:29:34,314 Yeah. 551 00:29:35,399 --> 00:29:37,442 I've been spending a lot of time in the garden lately. 552 00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:41,822 Can't get my hands clean. 553 00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:44,574 I wash them and wash them. 554 00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:47,035 Yes, but... 555 00:29:48,578 --> 00:29:53,250 Cliff, is there anything on your mind that you'd like to talk to me about? 556 00:29:54,209 --> 00:29:55,460 I don't want to talk, Doc. 557 00:29:56,753 --> 00:30:00,507 I want to watch television, see if there's anything on the news. 558 00:30:05,262 --> 00:30:06,346 Dare you to look inside. 559 00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:08,598 Dare you. 560 00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:11,101 Somebody's got to look. 561 00:30:11,268 --> 00:30:14,313 Not me. I've seen enough body parts to choke a horse. 562 00:30:16,023 --> 00:30:17,399 Literally in one case. 563 00:30:32,247 --> 00:30:33,165 Miss Howe. 564 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:35,292 I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. 565 00:30:35,459 --> 00:30:38,003 No misunderstanding taken. 566 00:30:39,796 --> 00:30:41,840 Everyone, may I have your attention, please? 567 00:30:42,007 --> 00:30:45,052 I'd like to introduce my date for this evening, Miss Rebecca Howe. 568 00:30:45,218 --> 00:30:47,888 Hello. Good evening. 569 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:50,557 Thank you for dropping by. 570 00:30:51,475 --> 00:30:53,769 You're looking very lovely this evening, Rebecca. 571 00:30:53,935 --> 00:30:55,479 And so are you, mister. 572 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:07,908 Well, shall we begin our kindergarten teeter-tooter? 573 00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:11,203 Delightful. 574 00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:12,556 Look, look, I'm sorry. I cannot concentrate! 575 00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:13,807 I can't, either. 576 00:32:13,974 --> 00:32:16,685 Now, listen, let me just tell you people one thing. 577 00:32:17,227 --> 00:32:20,021 Raymond Burr came a long way to entertain us. 578 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:26,987 And I think, out of courtesy to him, we should keep our mouths shut! 579 00:32:27,154 --> 00:32:29,281 Miss Howe, you are obviously inebriated. 580 00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:31,533 Now you're embarrassing yourself, you're embarrassing me. 581 00:32:31,700 --> 00:32:33,326 I am going to have to ask you to leave. 582 00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:37,873 No, no, no, please don't do that. This means so much to me. 583 00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:41,293 Please. I've heard this a million times, and, I don't know, it's just so catchy. 584 00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:42,836 I never noticed before. 585 00:32:43,587 --> 00:32:45,922 Please, please, just let me stay. 586 00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:48,467 I promise if you let me stay, I won't sing one more note. 587 00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:52,804 Very well. 588 00:33:13,783 --> 00:33:16,036 No, I tell you, Carla, Rebecca's doing great. 589 00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:18,872 I was a little worried, too, but she's fitting right in. 590 00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:22,626 I would not be surprised if you heard wedding bells. 591 00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:24,753 Do me a favor, will you? 592 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:27,255 You got to cover me for a while at the bar. 593 00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:31,551 No. There's no way you could drag Rebecca out of here. 594 00:33:33,136 --> 00:33:34,513 Oh. Hey, fellas. 595 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:35,889 Hold on a sec. 596 00:33:36,556 --> 00:33:37,390 How you doing? 597 00:33:39,100 --> 00:33:40,352 The whole point of the... 598 00:33:41,478 --> 00:33:43,688 The... the whole... Hold on. 599 00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,815 The dogs are making a racket here. 600 00:33:47,025 --> 00:33:47,943 You know... 601 00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:50,320 Boy, they're really chasing someone out there. 602 00:33:52,531 --> 00:33:54,950 You know, from here it almost looks like... 603 00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:57,994 Oh, my God. 604 00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:09,881 Eyewitness news including the latest sports 605 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,633 and weather right after this. 606 00:34:12,342 --> 00:34:14,219 Cliff, listen, just one more time, 607 00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:17,764 are you sure there's not something you'd like to get off your chest? 608 00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:23,395 Oh, all right, Doc. I might as well tell you. 609 00:34:24,271 --> 00:34:25,188 I... 610 00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:29,484 I sent Ma off to a retirement community. 611 00:34:30,277 --> 00:34:31,653 A retirement community. 612 00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:34,990 Yeah, yeah. One hell of a son, huh? 613 00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:37,325 Boy. I don't know why did I do it? 614 00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:38,368 You know... 615 00:34:39,786 --> 00:34:42,247 ...I think I'm gonna go down there today and bring her back home. 616 00:34:42,414 --> 00:34:43,832 I mean, that's if she'll have me. 617 00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:47,711 Good for you, Cliff. Retirement home. I knew it. 618 00:34:48,378 --> 00:34:49,754 And you guys thought he'd killed his mother! 619 00:34:51,298 --> 00:34:53,550 - Thought what? - Nothing. 620 00:34:54,467 --> 00:34:55,302 What? 621 00:34:56,511 --> 00:34:57,387 Well... 622 00:34:57,887 --> 00:34:59,472 I guess we ought to tell him. 623 00:35:00,724 --> 00:35:03,143 Cliff ie, you're going to get a kick out of this, actually. 624 00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:06,980 See, what we thought was that... 625 00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:09,566 Oh, hell, what's the best way to put this, guys? 626 00:35:09,733 --> 00:35:12,277 We thought you killed your mom and cut her up into little pieces. 627 00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:13,278 Beer? 628 00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:17,282 Boy, this is terrific. 629 00:35:17,449 --> 00:35:19,284 You're supposed to be my friends. 630 00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:20,869 How could you think of something like that? 631 00:35:21,036 --> 00:35:23,371 - Come on, Cliff. - We're sorry, Mr. Clavin. 632 00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:24,789 That's a real rotten thing! 633 00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:26,625 Oh, Cliff. In the bottom of our hearts, 634 00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:29,002 none of us really thought you actually killed your mother. 635 00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:31,880 - No. God! - Come on, I mean... 636 00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:33,923 How could we think that? You're our buddy. 637 00:35:34,090 --> 00:35:35,592 We love you, Cliff ie. 638 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:38,845 This just in... 639 00:35:39,679 --> 00:35:42,182 Gardeners have just discovered human remains 640 00:35:42,349 --> 00:35:43,475 in the middle of Lexington Common. 641 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:44,934 Get him! 642 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:48,730 Authorities believe the remains may be those of a minuteman 643 00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:51,191 who fought in the Revolutionary War. 644 00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:52,442 Hey! 645 00:35:53,777 --> 00:35:56,112 That's just a sample of how much we love you! 646 00:36:03,787 --> 00:36:04,746 Excuse me. 647 00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:06,289 My name's Clavin. 648 00:36:06,456 --> 00:36:08,416 I brought my mother in here earlier today. 649 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:10,669 And now you're having pangs of remorse. 650 00:36:11,586 --> 00:36:12,504 Yeah. How'd you know? 651 00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:14,923 It's a common reaction. 652 00:36:15,090 --> 00:36:16,132 It's quite normal. 653 00:36:16,299 --> 00:36:17,175 Yeah. Yeah. 654 00:36:17,342 --> 00:36:20,637 Well, I guess I'll be taking my ma home now. 655 00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:21,846 I'm sorry to hear that. 656 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:25,684 I just went over to her room there, and she wasn't around. 657 00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:29,020 She's in the Starlight Lounge. There's a dance tonight. 658 00:36:40,907 --> 00:36:43,326 I don't remember the last time I saw Ma dancing. 659 00:36:44,744 --> 00:36:47,288 People often seem to come out of their shells here. 660 00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:49,874 Hey, look at that. A guy just cut in on her. 661 00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,793 That silver-haired fox! 662 00:36:52,669 --> 00:36:56,339 Yes. I was watching your mother in the hot tub earlier. 663 00:36:57,716 --> 00:36:59,926 She seemed to be quite popular with the gentlemen. 664 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:03,430 - You... you have a hot tub? - Oh, yes. 665 00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:05,515 Our residents find it quite invigorating 666 00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:07,517 after the softball tournament. 667 00:37:07,684 --> 00:37:08,977 Softball tournament. 668 00:37:09,144 --> 00:37:10,979 In fact, this afternoon, 669 00:37:11,146 --> 00:37:13,815 your mother was chosen most valuable player. 670 00:37:14,607 --> 00:37:17,610 She went four for four at bat, but I think it was 671 00:37:17,777 --> 00:37:20,488 the hook slide into third that really won their hearts. 672 00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:23,867 My mother's never played softball in her life. 673 00:37:24,033 --> 00:37:25,702 Maybe she never had the chance. 674 00:37:31,875 --> 00:37:34,794 Well! Hey, come here, look at this. 675 00:37:35,628 --> 00:37:37,130 She's doing a tango. 676 00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:40,300 She's got a rose in her teeth and everything. 677 00:37:41,301 --> 00:37:43,011 I just hope she doesn't fall off that table. 678 00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:44,679 That's okay. 679 00:37:44,846 --> 00:37:47,098 She's got eight guys waiting to catch her if she does. 680 00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:50,685 Oh, boy. I've never seen her so happy. 681 00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:56,733 I... I got to say, I feel kind of foolish. 682 00:37:56,900 --> 00:37:59,944 Don't. You just wanted what was best for your mother. 683 00:38:00,111 --> 00:38:01,571 Yeah. Well, I... 684 00:38:01,738 --> 00:38:04,115 I always thought her world revolved around her son, 685 00:38:04,282 --> 00:38:06,785 that she couldn't ever get along without me. 686 00:38:06,951 --> 00:38:08,578 Perhaps that's what you wanted to think. 687 00:38:10,705 --> 00:38:11,790 Yeah. 688 00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:14,876 Now I can see she's happier than she's ever been. 689 00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:20,340 Say, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention that I was here. 690 00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:21,758 I understand. 691 00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:24,219 I guess I won't be taking her home after all. 692 00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:25,804 I thought not. 693 00:38:26,554 --> 00:38:27,889 I'll just go have another peek. 694 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:30,350 Oh, and Mr. Clavin, 695 00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:31,643 while you're here, 696 00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:35,104 your mother's insurance doesn't entirely cover her expenses. 697 00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:37,899 I assume that you'll want to take care of the remainder. 698 00:38:38,066 --> 00:38:39,818 Yeah, sure thing. Just send me the bill. 699 00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,820 Well, here's what it comes to for the first year. 700 00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:46,616 Honestly, the cost of running this place just keeps going up and up. 701 00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:49,494 Well, you can't put a price on a mother's happiness. 702 00:39:02,549 --> 00:39:03,550 Clifford! 703 00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:05,260 Put me down! What are you doing? 704 00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:07,262 I'm getting you out of this hellhole, Ma! 705 00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:14,102 - There you go. - Thank you, Sam. 706 00:39:17,522 --> 00:39:18,523 Feeling better? 707 00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,653 I have never been so humiliated in my life. 708 00:39:23,820 --> 00:39:25,780 I can't believe I did that. 709 00:39:26,739 --> 00:39:28,032 Do you know what I am? 710 00:39:28,199 --> 00:39:29,200 I'm a phony. 711 00:39:29,826 --> 00:39:31,870 I'm a great, big phony. 712 00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:37,292 Pretending like I liked Mahler just so some rich guy would ask me out. 713 00:39:37,458 --> 00:39:39,002 I don't even know his first name. 714 00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:40,962 Gustav... Gustav Mahler. 715 00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:51,014 Do you know that I don't really even like Mr. Gaines? 716 00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,975 And yet I allowed myself to just fall all over him 717 00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:55,602 just because he's rich. 718 00:39:56,519 --> 00:40:01,399 As God is my witness, Sam, I am never, ever 719 00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:04,944 going after another rich man as long as I live. 720 00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:09,532 Well, as far as I can see, Normie, we're sitting pretty. 721 00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:12,535 I don't foresee any problems, unless... 722 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:16,164 Well, unless, of course, there's a second wave of Martians. 723 00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:19,876 Then... 724 00:40:20,043 --> 00:40:23,254 Then, my friend, I think we've got some pretty serious defense problems. 725 00:40:24,464 --> 00:40:27,425 Well, what the heck. I'll go into that some other time. 726 00:40:31,387 --> 00:40:32,805 Want a refill, Norm? 727 00:40:34,307 --> 00:40:35,391 Norm. 728 00:40:35,558 --> 00:40:36,517 Hey, Norm. 729 00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:48,988 There you are, Miss Howe. 730 00:40:49,155 --> 00:40:50,865 Oh, Mr. Gaines... 731 00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:52,784 I have to apologize. 732 00:40:52,951 --> 00:40:56,913 No. Don't say a thing. I admit, I was upset 733 00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,247 by what happened earlier this evening, 734 00:40:58,414 --> 00:41:01,000 but after I cooled down, I realized it was all my fault. 735 00:41:01,501 --> 00:41:04,253 I was unclear about my intentions. Now, I'd like to make it up to you. 736 00:41:04,420 --> 00:41:06,714 I thought we could have dinner sometime together, 737 00:41:06,881 --> 00:41:08,091 just the two of us. 738 00:41:09,676 --> 00:41:12,345 - Just you and me? - Yes. 739 00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:15,598 I'd be delighted to have dinner with such an attractive woman. 740 00:41:26,359 --> 00:41:27,735 I'm sorry, Mr. Gaines. 741 00:41:30,279 --> 00:41:33,074 I'm very flattered, but I have to tell you 742 00:41:33,241 --> 00:41:35,201 that the only reason I would have dinner with you 743 00:41:35,368 --> 00:41:40,206 is because you're so rich, and that wouldn't be fair to you, 744 00:41:40,373 --> 00:41:41,874 and it wouldn't be fair to me. 745 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:43,751 I see. 746 00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,047 Very well, Miss Howe. 747 00:41:49,048 --> 00:41:51,300 - Good-bye. - Good-bye. 748 00:41:57,598 --> 00:42:00,435 Well, Rebecca, I must say, I'm impressed. 749 00:42:00,601 --> 00:42:02,228 This could be a big turning point in your life. 750 00:42:02,395 --> 00:42:04,564 At last your actions fit your words. 751 00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:07,442 Yeah, I'm with Frasier. I'm really proud of you, sweetheart. 752 00:42:07,984 --> 00:42:09,444 Thank you. I appreciate it. 753 00:42:10,153 --> 00:42:11,988 Sam, can you come here and do me a favor? 754 00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:13,281 Sure, honey. What? 755 00:42:14,032 --> 00:42:15,867 Can you stop me from going after him? 756 00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:18,828 I'm having a hard time stopping myself. 757 00:42:20,913 --> 00:42:22,457 And you're going to need Cliff and Norm. 758 00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:27,712 Frase, you want to help me here? 759 00:42:28,921 --> 00:42:29,839 Mister? 760 00:42:30,965 --> 00:42:31,924 Mister? 761 00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:33,176 I'm coming, mister. 762 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:34,635 Mister? 763 00:42:35,303 --> 00:42:36,220 Mister?