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Previously on Childrens Hospital...
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- Hey, Robin.
- Hey.
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How's the house hunting going?
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Well, the prices are right,
finally,
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but we're gonna have trouble selling
our current house in this market.
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Mm-hmm. Yeah. And loans aren't
so easy to get anymore either.
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I just wish someone would admit
that we're going through a recession.
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Robin: Tell me about it.
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Never really understood
any of that stuff away.
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[Dr. Fiscus chuckles]
Who does?
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[both chuckle]
Ahh.
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Come back to the police force.
I need my partner back.
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Owen: I wish I could, but I can't.
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Not after the tragic events
of September 11, 2001.
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And there you go.
Looks pretty easy, huh?
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Well, try it with a
few cocktails in ya.
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[laughs]
Oh!
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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[Blake sighs]
Calling it.
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Time of death... 1:59 P.M.
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Looks like we lost another one, huh?
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I guess it takes more than the healing power
of laughter to perform a successful operation.
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Yeah, sometimes it takes
actual medical procedure.
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Sometimes.
Sometimes.
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What happened to you, Dr. Downs?
[Blake sighs]
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Hey!
What are you, a savage?!
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[echoing]
Shut the door!
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- Blake? Blake!
- Yeah?
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I want you to take a
look at the girl in 319,
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and I don't want to tell you why
because you always laugh
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and I think it's inappropriate.
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Yeah, I don't know what
you're talking about.
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[Chief sighs]
She's covered in bruises.
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Afraid of her father.
Claimed she fell down the stairs.
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Yeah, just say it.
I promise I won't laugh.
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Okay.
I suspect child abuse.
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[Blake snickers]
Blake.
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- Okay.
- 319, now get over there right a...
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- You know what tomorrow is?
- The anniversary of 9/11, right?
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- So, what does that make today?
- 9/11 Eve?
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Bingo.
Doing anything special?
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Probably just get a piñata,
throw some ribs on the grill.
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- Sure, sure.
- How about yourself?
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The usual.
Make my tobacco bread.
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- Rob Schneider film fest.
- Rob Schneider. Send me an evite, will you?
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- You got it.
- Hey. You gonna rewrite this again, okay?
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- I can't read your writing.
- A simple "please" would be nice.
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[tinkling]
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[Blake sighs]
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[sighs]
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[indistinct shouting]
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[girl laughing]
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Attention, staff.
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The white zone is for immediate loading
and unloading of passengers only.
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There is no stopping in the red zone.
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[laughter continues]
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- What the balls is this?
- That's Nate Schachter,
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best damn leukemia doctor
in all of Saskatchewan.
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Yeah?
What's with the schtick-a-la?
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He believes in the healing
power of laughter.
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Well, I'm not laughing.
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[girl laughs]
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Glenn: You have a dick on your face.
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To catch a terrorist,
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you need to think like one,
act like one.
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Terrorize someone.
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I work for the
National Terrorism Strike Force,
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San Diego division.
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Am I a white knight?
Or a black checker?
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- Perhaps... I'm like Jenga.
- Tell me your future thoughts!
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All I know is
if you have to ask...
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- Trick or treat.
- you're on the wrong side.
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- I quit!
- I don't negotiate with terrorists...
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because I am one.
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National Terrorism Strike Force:
San Diego: Sport Utility Vehicle.
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Tonight, a very special episode
of Childrens Hospital.
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Hi. I am, of course,
Cutter Spindel.
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I play Dr. Blake Downs
on Childrens Hospital.
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My name is David Wain. I am one of
the producers of Childrens Hospital.
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Today we have an episode that
can be described only as, uh...
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- I don't know the word... different.
- Different, yes.
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-Yeah.
- That's a great way to describe it.
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I like that a lot...
"Different," you know?
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I like that a real lot, because
it really does describe the episode.
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- "Different"... I like that.
- Well, I mean...
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the reason why is this episode is told
entirely from the point of view
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of a visiting colleague
from Puerto Rico,
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- Who just happen...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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Actually, you know what?
Let's not spoon-feed it to them.
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- We want to let the audience use their brain.
- I like that.
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Yes, because that's what television's
all about... using your brain.
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And what's very exciting is this
episode is written and directed
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- by our very own Cutter Spindel.
- Guilty.
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- In his directorial debut.
- Uh, not exactly.
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Um, I did direct, uh,
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.
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That one I did not see
and I do not care for.
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Please enjoy this very special
episode of "Childrens Hôpital."
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Directed by Cutter Spindel.
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I wonder when that
visiting doctor is gonna get here.
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- I don't see him anywhere.
- Excuse me. Is this the fifth floor?
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The numbers in the elevator
are too high up for me to see.
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- Oh, my God! You're a midget!
- And you're Puerto Rican.
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- What?
- And you got a little piece of food right here.
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That's just some hot sauce
left over from my burrito.
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I'm Chief, the chief here.
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Uh, we do things a little bit
differently here at Childrens,
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doctor, but hopefully, there are
some techniques that you can
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pick up and bring back home to Havana.
[Owen chuckles]
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Bring our techniques back to
Puerto Rico, not our white women.
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Okay?
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I do hope that I can
teach you some of our
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new advances in
Puerto Rican medicine.
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Oh, I'd always wanted to learn
how to breed fighting chickens.
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"Dear Papi, you'd like it
here at Childrens Hospital."
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It's chaos, sure, but organized chaos.
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It's like a graceful ballet...
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or like that funeral we had
for one of our dogs.
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First off, there's the chief.
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Get this, Papi...
a woman is the chief!
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[alarm ringing]
Oh. Uh-oh.
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Looks like it's time to
turn off the MRI machine.
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It smells like Thanksgiving
in here... but bad.
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"You'd love the doctors here, Papi.
They work hard."
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Time of death, 5:59.
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Time of dry humping
in the supply closet, 6:01.
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Sorry. Was that your fist?
What was that?
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[giggling]
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[both chuckle]
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"But you get all the doctors
here in one room,
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and you understand why
they all work so well together.
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They are much like
our own family, Papi,
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only they don't have a jeep."
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- Jefe, check this out.
- No, but I got to...
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My mustache is now a mess.
Where is the mirror?
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I must oil it again.
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[laughter, indistinct conversations]
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[farts]
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[Rob gasping]
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- Rob, what's going on?
- I had that dream again.
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- What dream?
- The one about the Childrens Hospital.
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- Ohh.
- It all took place inside
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- a Puerto Rican midget's fart.
- Well, it's just a dream.
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- It doesn't make any sense!
- Rob, go back to sleep.
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Don't forget to set the snow globe.
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- You're right, Megan Mullally. Good night.
- Good night, Rob Corddry.
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[David chuckles]
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- Wow.
- Thank you.
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Very powerful.
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I mean, when did you get the
idea that this whole world of
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this whole world of
Childrens Hospital takes place
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inside this Puerto Rican
midget's fart?
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I... I think we've always known.
You know?
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So, uh, as I was writing it,
it occurred to me that the
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that the Puerto Rican midget
is almost a character itself.
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Well, I mean, he really,
literally was a character in the...
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- in the story.
- Right, right, right.
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It sort of had that feeling,
so why not write it?
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He really, literally was
a character in... in the show.
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And that's the feeling
I wanted to bring to it.
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Huh. Well, thanks, everyone,
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for tuning in to this special episode
of Childrens Hospital.
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Tune in next week for a regular one.
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Uh, I have a real treat
for fans of the show.
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Uh, I have with us here,
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uh, the actual person
upon whom the character
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Dr. Blake Downs was based.
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Uh, so without further ado,
ladies and gentlemen,
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the real Dr. Blake Downs,
Dr. Blake Downs.
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I think he's asleep.
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Okay, I have another treat for you.
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Um, you'll notice
in that last episode,
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David Wain, one of the producers
of Childrens Hospital,
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uh, presents me, without the
makeup on, as Cutter Spindel,
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the actor that plays Dr. Blake Downs
in the series.
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I know it's very confusing,
but, uh, I actually have here
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the person that Cutter Spindel
was based on, as well.
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So, ladies and gentlemen, the
real Cutter Spindel, David Wain.
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- Wait a minute. You're talking about me?
- Yes.
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- You're saying Cutter Spindel was based on me?
- No, no, no, Cutter Spindel
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was based on the character
you were playing in that episode.
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- I was playing David Wain.
- Right.
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- Oh, so Cutter Spindel is based on David...
- "David Wain."
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[David chuckling]
Pretty cool.
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It's very, uh... It's very out there.
Very heavy.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com