1 00:00:00,191 --> 00:00:02,451 Previously on "Childrens Hospital"... 2 00:00:02,979 --> 00:00:04,124 Hey, I want to show you something. 3 00:00:04,124 --> 00:00:05,651 Tell me what this makes you think of. 4 00:00:05,651 --> 00:00:07,030 Okay. A penis. 5 00:00:07,515 --> 00:00:09,681 Huh. Okay let's try another one. 6 00:00:09,693 --> 00:00:13,057 - Penis. - Interesting. One more. 7 00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:15,993 - Penis. - Very cool. 8 00:00:19,374 --> 00:00:20,584 - You're there, you're there, you're there. - No! 9 00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,550 Oh my God! Oh my God! 10 00:00:22,567 --> 00:00:24,668 Hi, I'm Chief. The chief surgeon. 11 00:00:25,314 --> 00:00:26,864 I can cure you. 12 00:00:26,984 --> 00:00:29,518 If he does that, you might lose your sexy strut. 13 00:00:29,541 --> 00:00:32,461 I give you the new Chief. 14 00:00:32,529 --> 00:00:35,688 I'm gonna try and cure you the old-fashioned way, 15 00:00:35,711 --> 00:00:37,658 using the healing power of laughter. 16 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,594 Why don't you try the healing power of medicine? 17 00:00:40,606 --> 00:00:42,129 I don't have a brain tumor. 18 00:00:42,136 --> 00:00:44,242 I just couldn't think of a reason to break up with you. 19 00:00:44,238 --> 00:00:45,688 That's just the brain tumor talking. 20 00:00:45,722 --> 00:00:47,893 I want to operate on your nonexistent tumor. 21 00:00:48,137 --> 00:00:49,749 I did extract the brain tumor, 22 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,169 using only the healing power of laughter, 23 00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:53,530 so that was a success. 24 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:56,100 And she died. Sorry. 25 00:00:56,335 --> 00:01:02,847 You might say I'm headed for a bit of a nervous Blake Down...s. M.D. 26 00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:03,779 Coming this fall. 27 00:01:03,802 --> 00:01:05,552 - How old is Nicky? - Six. 28 00:01:05,569 --> 00:01:06,955 I like turtles! 29 00:01:06,978 --> 00:01:10,645 He's got the rarest case of advanced aging disease I've ever seen. 30 00:01:10,669 --> 00:01:13,356 - Hi! - He got you pregnant? 31 00:01:13,379 --> 00:01:15,995 It's immoral! I'm disgusted! 32 00:01:17,377 --> 00:01:20,430 Totally kidding. It's fine. 33 00:01:20,442 --> 00:01:22,614 - Have any names picked out? - We're not telling anyone yet. 34 00:01:22,626 --> 00:01:24,155 - Tobey Maguire! 35 00:01:30,746 --> 00:01:32,484 I dread the future. 36 00:01:32,604 --> 00:01:35,797 It's been so much less experienced than the past. 37 00:01:35,917 --> 00:01:40,996 I wish I aged backwards, like Merlin, or Bruce Springsteen, or anyone from the Planet Ork. 38 00:01:41,116 --> 00:01:44,951 Some people say the past is not past, or even over. 39 00:01:44,974 --> 00:01:47,404 Those people are pretentious. 40 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:50,369 I see it everywhere, the past. And it looks like Lola. 41 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,384 Lola! Oh. 42 00:01:57,762 --> 00:02:01,107 But it's not her. It's never her, 43 00:02:01,227 --> 00:02:05,259 because my best friend, Dr. Lola Spratt, is dead. 44 00:02:05,553 --> 00:02:08,914 But in my memory, she lives. 45 00:02:13,248 --> 00:02:17,381 But as time goes by, even the memory of her face becomes fuzzy. 46 00:02:24,619 --> 00:02:27,909 But some days, I can feel her with me... 47 00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:33,371 In the smile of a child or in the innocence of one of God's more gentle creatures. 48 00:02:33,394 --> 00:02:36,294 Everything ends. 49 00:02:36,414 --> 00:02:39,204 But what do you call an ending that begins all over again? 50 00:02:40,259 --> 00:02:41,645 A beginding. 51 00:02:42,324 --> 00:02:45,656 All righty. Let's begind at the beginding. 52 00:02:45,656 --> 00:02:47,382 Hi. You must be Cat. 53 00:02:47,406 --> 00:02:50,287 - I'm so happy you could join us. - Sorry I'm late. 54 00:02:50,311 --> 00:02:54,380 - God. Sarcastic much? - I wasn't being sarcastic. 55 00:02:54,403 --> 00:02:58,249 - I'm thrilled that you're here. - Wow, there was traffic. I have my period. 56 00:02:58,273 --> 00:03:01,873 I totally understand. If you've got pain, take the day off. 57 00:03:01,884 --> 00:03:05,721 Oh, my God. Are you done, Don Rickles? What's the deal with this guy? 58 00:03:05,841 --> 00:03:07,607 Meet the new fuehrer, Sy Mittleman. 59 00:03:07,727 --> 00:03:11,212 He runs the insurance company that owns the hospital now. Total suit. 60 00:03:11,235 --> 00:03:13,117 - What does the chief think about this? - Oh, she doesn't care. 61 00:03:13,129 --> 00:03:16,379 She's totally in love with him but pretending to hate him so that we think she's cool. 62 00:03:16,414 --> 00:03:20,550 Go back to your corporate penthouse cubicle, Don Rickshaws. 63 00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:25,882 Ladies and gentlemen, we have got to find new ways to raise revenue for this hospital. 64 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:32,829 I'm so sorry. Some of my butterflies got out of my collection this morning. 65 00:03:33,284 --> 00:03:36,552 He collects butterflies? Typical suit. 66 00:03:36,672 --> 00:03:39,820 You know what? Why don't we just get out there and save some lives? 67 00:03:40,468 --> 00:03:41,185 Wow! 68 00:03:41,842 --> 00:03:45,885 Attention, all staff... Buzzed surgery is the same as drunk surgery. 69 00:03:46,801 --> 00:03:50,116 Chief, I'm so glad I happened to run into you. 70 00:03:50,128 --> 00:03:53,448 I am glad that I happened to run into you, too, 71 00:03:53,471 --> 00:03:56,030 By accident. Oh. 72 00:03:57,991 --> 00:04:02,997 Yeah, I got it. I'm on it. 73 00:04:03,486 --> 00:04:06,785 Sorry. My staff hates you, so I have to pretend that I do, too. 74 00:04:06,799 --> 00:04:09,457 That must be hard, suddenly not being the boss anymore. 75 00:04:09,465 --> 00:04:13,739 Sy, last year, I was riddled with muscular and neurological disease. 76 00:04:13,859 --> 00:04:16,828 I had an operation that transformed me 77 00:04:16,948 --> 00:04:20,621 into the beautiful, healthy creature you see before you. 78 00:04:23,810 --> 00:04:27,027 Oh. Here she comes. Yeah. 79 00:04:29,211 --> 00:04:30,484 I'm good with change. 80 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:36,738 I'm also good at changing in and out of various outfits... 81 00:04:36,858 --> 00:04:39,015 Costumes, if you will. 82 00:04:40,432 --> 00:04:42,206 Yeah! Whoo! 83 00:04:42,326 --> 00:04:44,335 Ah! This is fun. 84 00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:46,437 - You want to do another pass? - Absolutely. 85 00:04:46,448 --> 00:04:48,609 Oh, my God. I almost forgot. 86 00:04:49,008 --> 00:04:52,577 There's something extremely, extremely urgent I need to tell you. 87 00:04:52,811 --> 00:04:55,512 The future of this hospital depends on it. 88 00:04:55,515 --> 00:04:59,297 Oh, my God. You tell me right now, you son of a bitch. 89 00:04:59,907 --> 00:05:01,798 Don't leave me hanging. 90 00:05:06,423 --> 00:05:10,625 Coming up next on "Blake Downs M.D.," Dr. Downs has big news. 91 00:05:10,637 --> 00:05:13,980 I discovered a syndrome, and they're naming it after me: 92 00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:15,806 "Dr. Downs syndrome." 93 00:05:15,829 --> 00:05:18,053 You know what syndrome they should name after you? 94 00:05:18,064 --> 00:05:20,302 The "never makes the bed syndrome." 95 00:05:20,336 --> 00:05:24,306 The New York Times says this show will never get cancelled. 96 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:27,642 Watch "Blake Downs, M.D." Tonight after "Childrens Hospital." 97 00:05:28,043 --> 00:05:33,307 Hey, hey, hey. And how is Morgan's terminal cancer? 98 00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:35,157 I'm not feeling very good at all. 99 00:05:35,181 --> 00:05:38,457 Great. Well, my medical advice would be "keep on truckin'." 100 00:05:42,561 --> 00:05:44,863 Gotcha, you son of a bitch. 101 00:05:48,263 --> 00:05:53,558 I'm hungry. 102 00:05:53,828 --> 00:05:57,755 Hungry? 103 00:05:57,779 --> 00:06:00,468 Give me that thing. 104 00:06:05,258 --> 00:06:08,708 Attention... Now that I have your attention, that is all. 105 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:12,938 Hi! We went to The Cheesecake Factory. I had a accident. 106 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:14,859 I quit. Get another nanny. 107 00:06:14,864 --> 00:06:17,224 Not this again. Look, Gladys, 108 00:06:17,459 --> 00:06:19,772 I'm sorry if you have a problem with our unconventional relationship. 109 00:06:19,784 --> 00:06:24,070 I don't care about that. I've dated plenty of guys twenty-five years younger than me. 110 00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:26,090 Really? Did they have advanced aging disease like Nicky? 111 00:06:26,114 --> 00:06:29,082 I don't think anybody has advanced aging disease like Nicky. 112 00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:32,252 Look, our relationship is on the rocks. I can't do this without you. 113 00:06:32,264 --> 00:06:35,610 I just can't clean up grown-man poop anymore. 114 00:06:35,621 --> 00:06:37,325 I ate all of Gladys' cigarettes! 115 00:06:37,337 --> 00:06:41,674 Gladys! Come back. You can't leave me here. He's dying. 116 00:06:41,686 --> 00:06:43,127 I'm gonna go to doggy heaven. 117 00:06:43,139 --> 00:06:44,738 - You're dying, girl. - What? 118 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:48,085 I'll tell you something my uncle used to say to me back home in Sweden. 119 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:53,425 - "Figure out your life." - "Figure out your life." 120 00:06:54,412 --> 00:06:55,727 So cryptic. 121 00:06:56,066 --> 00:06:59,004 - I'm pooping again. - Clip it off! 122 00:07:04,663 --> 00:07:07,012 There you are, boo-boo. 123 00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:10,194 - I cured cancer, you dick. - What? 124 00:07:10,205 --> 00:07:12,704 I c'd the big c, you f'ing d. 125 00:07:12,718 --> 00:07:18,570 Glenn, I know that you know that cancer is an amalgam of... of complicated, unique conditions. 126 00:07:18,577 --> 00:07:25,669 - It's almost impossible to find one cure. - Oh, yeah? Check it out, honky. Boom! Haha! 127 00:07:26,884 --> 00:07:27,964 Dick. 128 00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:30,078 - How? - Butterfly goop. 129 00:07:30,090 --> 00:07:32,772 - Okay, so let's start killing some butterflies. - No, no, no. 130 00:07:32,784 --> 00:07:38,144 I would gladly sacrifice all my beautiful friends if it cured one case of cancer, 131 00:07:38,156 --> 00:07:41,499 but don't you think we should run tests first? 132 00:07:41,619 --> 00:07:45,409 - Yeah, you might be right. - Is it the bile? Is it the blood, the mucus, the semen? 133 00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:48,350 - But who're we gonna get to jack off all these butterflies? - I would do that. 134 00:07:49,450 --> 00:07:51,458 Well, uh, if... If no one else was available, 135 00:07:51,578 --> 00:07:54,726 I would gladly volunteer. I would... I would... 136 00:07:55,342 --> 00:07:57,596 Why don't we just run some tests? 137 00:07:58,054 --> 00:08:00,825 And if you actually did this, Glenn, 138 00:08:01,119 --> 00:08:05,071 you have done more than just solve the financial problem of this hospital. 139 00:08:08,283 --> 00:08:12,451 Next on "Blake Downs, M.D.," America loses a dear friend. 140 00:08:12,768 --> 00:08:15,861 My private practice went out of business today. But it's okay. 141 00:08:16,092 --> 00:08:19,603 It's okay. I'm sure Childrens Hospital will take me back. 142 00:08:19,627 --> 00:08:21,915 In a dramatic final episode... 143 00:08:21,927 --> 00:08:24,120 I didn't mean for her to kill it. 144 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,879 I just wanted it to be quiet! 145 00:08:27,278 --> 00:08:29,849 He's doing Hawkeye's monologue from the "MASH" finale. 146 00:08:29,872 --> 00:08:35,886 It was a baby! She smothered her own baby! 147 00:08:36,006 --> 00:08:39,442 Coming up tonight after "Childrens Hospital." 148 00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:43,026 - Dr. Jim Stansel, please report to post-op. - Well, Cat... 149 00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:49,821 Baby's a little bit on the big side, but other than that, I would say that everything looks great. 150 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,716 Really great. Can I just tell you? 151 00:08:51,728 --> 00:08:54,497 It is so nice to see your vagina again. 152 00:08:54,503 --> 00:08:57,802 Thanks for seeing me. You know, I can't see my normal Ob-Gyn anymore. 153 00:08:57,814 --> 00:09:01,145 What's wrong? The guy doesn't like looking at engorged vaginas? Sounds like a jerk. 154 00:09:01,168 --> 00:09:04,829 Owen, I can't keep this baby. I'm not even in love with Nicky anymore. 155 00:09:04,852 --> 00:09:08,937 I'm so afraid of my future. 156 00:09:08,971 --> 00:09:10,165 What are you laughing at? 157 00:09:10,285 --> 00:09:13,846 Oh, I was just remembering how normal your vagina used to look compared to now. 158 00:09:13,863 --> 00:09:15,380 Owen! 159 00:09:15,403 --> 00:09:17,383 - It's like an open-faced reuben. - I can't keep this baby. 160 00:09:17,947 --> 00:09:20,882 - Can you help me? - Cat, listen to me. 161 00:09:21,263 --> 00:09:22,682 You're full-term now, 162 00:09:22,802 --> 00:09:27,457 and the risk to your life, not to mention the baby's, are just too great to consider termination. 163 00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:31,902 - But you're an old friend, so I'll think about it. Yep. - Oh, God! Thank you! Thank you. 164 00:09:31,926 --> 00:09:33,558 Wow! 165 00:09:33,572 --> 00:09:34,678 - Hey! - Had to get a quick pic. 166 00:09:34,702 --> 00:09:38,463 Gosh, it's like the mouth of a fish if you yank the hook out too fast. 167 00:09:38,477 --> 00:09:39,792 - Oh. - Really weird. 168 00:09:39,816 --> 00:09:41,307 - Hey, O? - Yeah, babe? 169 00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:43,374 Why is there an Ob-Gyn clinic in a children's hospital? 170 00:09:43,381 --> 00:09:46,288 Babies are having babies nowadays. Read the papers. 171 00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:53,130 July 11th, 3:00 A.M. 172 00:09:53,691 --> 00:09:58,589 I've extracted blood, bile, tears, breast milk, and mucus from the insect... 173 00:09:58,709 --> 00:10:02,406 And nothing. Thirteen hours and I've only learned one thing... 174 00:10:03,419 --> 00:10:05,802 You can't jack off a dead butterfly. 175 00:10:08,949 --> 00:10:10,605 Oh, I need coffee. 176 00:10:30,737 --> 00:10:35,828 Sync By YesCool www.addic7ed.com 177 00:10:51,902 --> 00:10:54,766 My body's more broken than the American healthcare system! 178 00:10:58,683 --> 00:11:04,724 Doctor, Doctor, give me the news. I've got a bad case... of meningitis.