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Previously on
Childrens Hospital...
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Well, your daughter has 20/20 vision,
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but it's actually your eyes
I'm concerned about.
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What shade of awesome
are those things,
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because I am drowning, girl?
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- See this mark on the ulterior colon?
- Mm-hmm.
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It moves here...
Then here.
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- Are you trying to...
- Yes.
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This poop chute is haunted.
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My best friend,
Dr. Lola Spratt, is dead.
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I want a dinosaur doctor!
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He's got the rarest case of
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advanced aging disease I've ever seen.
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Hi.
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You had sex with my son?!
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What? You prefer I have sex
near your son or above your son?
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My private practice
went out of business today.
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It's okay. I'm sure Childrens Hospital
will take me back.
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The end.
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Soon it will be the end.
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But not yet.
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Hey. Aren't you Cat's
boyfriend's mother?
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Yeah, I was.
But after he died,
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- I got a job here as a nurse.
- He died?
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She's losing blood.
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The baby's coming fast!
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Cat!
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Right now, it's the
opposite of the end.
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The actual end begins
about a week ago.
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My boyfriend Nicky's advanced
aging disease is getting worse.
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Is he staying active?
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I play mahjongg every morning
with the girls at the home.
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And on Tuesdays, there's
a live one-man band! Ha-cha!
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Nicky's dementia
is getting worse, too.
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It's hard to tell what's senility
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and what's normal six-year-old behavior.
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Plus, I think he's a little retarded,
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so let's just call a spade a spade, okay?
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I'm only doing this so that
we can have a little privacy.
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I can read lips.
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I hear that you're considering
not keeping the baby.
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I hear that you're a crazy cat lady.
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Nicky's in no condition to
give me support,
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and what if the disease is hereditary?
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- That makes good sense.
- Hats make good tents!
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This whole confusing
confusion about whether to keep
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the baby or not has me so confused.
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Cat, you have to stop
thinking about yourself.
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You have to think about
Nicky right now.
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He is in pain.
Nicky will die very soon.
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Cat, you have to stop
tinkling on the shelf.
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You have to start thinking
about sticky icky icky now.
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The rain in Spain!
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Nicky will die very soon.
Wait, what?! Hold on!
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Come here.
Come here.
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Wait. What are you doing?
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Well, sorry.
Didn't you and Lola have a thing?
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Didn't ebola have a Rin Tin Tin?
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Didn't you and Lola have a thing?
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Didn't ebola have a Rin Tin Tin?
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No.
Lola's dead.
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That's not what I hear.
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I hear her ghost still haunts
the old haunted locker room.
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I know you're here, Lola.
Reveal your spirit to me.
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Man, this locker room isn't haunted.
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"Brazil's Most Haunted Locker Rooms."
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Last time I go to that stupid
half-priced bookstore. That's for sure.
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Goodbye, Lola.
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Hello, Owen.
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- A g-g-g-g-ghost!
- No, I'm not a ghost.
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Well, then how come I can
put my hand right through you?
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Okay, all right, all right,
all right, all right.
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Owen, stop it.
I'm not a ghost.
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I faked my own death.
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This is exactly what the
ancient scrolls said you would say.
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I'm gonna announce my return
in a couple minutes at the staff meeting.
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It's gonna be awesome. I can't wait.
I'm so restless!
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I've always wanted to have sex
with a restless spirit.
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Take off your ghost clothes.
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A g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost!
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Attention staff,
there has to be more to life than this.
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Lastly, I'm happy to announce that
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as a result of my recent surgery, not only have I
been made even more gorgeous,
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but I no longer need...
these crutches.
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Good riddance.
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Check it out, people! Whoo!
Yeah! Feel like I'm flying!
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Well, I would like to announce
that Lola is back from the grave.
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Reveal yourself, ghost!
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A g-g-g-g-g-g-ghost!
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- Oh, God!
- Ow. Ow. Oh. Ow. Ow.
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Ghost, tell us...
is rain really God's tears?
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Why does it always rain
in Seattle, never L.A.?
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Break my fall, you sexy son of a bitch!
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Ghost!
I want to talk to you!
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I am not a ghost.
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If you're not a ghost,
then prove it right now.
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- How?
- Pee on me.
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Wh... how does that
prove that I'm not a ghost?
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I've been peed on so many times,
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if you're a ghost, I'll feel the difference.
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Is it really so crazy that I faked my own death
because I had too many e-mails?
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God, it was horrible.
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I get it now.
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You're here to take Cat's dying,
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retarded boyfriend to the other side.
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Oh, my God!
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So, what do you
want to read tonight?
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I want to read the ancient scrolls!
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- Again?
- Mm-hmm.
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- Okay.
- Uh-oh. I forgot to take my pills for my ticker.
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Okay.
Wait... what's this?
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This is Viagra.
This is the wrong pill.
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This is a direct conflict with
your cholesterol medication.
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And now we have to go to the hospital,
or else you're gonna die.
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My ticker's getting hard.
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You did this for me, didn't you?
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You took the wrong pill so that
we could make love again
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one last time before you died.
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Okay.
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- Did I make?
- You're about to make.
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My wiener's out.
Boy. Oh. Ha.
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Ooh, my heart is beating so fast.
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- Yeah, that's 'cause you're feeling it.
- Yeah, it's beating too fast! Ow!
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- What?
- I'm dying over here!
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Oh, God. It's happening so fast.
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Oops. I got to get that.
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Chello. Yeah, I've got time.
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Uh, female,
between the ages of 25 and 35.
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Satisfied.
Extremely satisfied.
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I got fudge in my veins.
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You're welcome. Bye.
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What?
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- I can see my grandma.
- You can?
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- And she's not judging anybody.
- Shh.
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Go gentle into that good night.
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Oh. All right.
Well, I got to poop this kid out.
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But after he died,
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- I got a job here as a nurse.
- He died?
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Her water just broke!
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She's losing blood!
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This is it... The end that
I was talking about before.
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We're losing her.
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Advanced aging disease is hereditary.
The baby's too big!
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Her vagina's too small!
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Oh, Lola.
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Are you here to take
me to the other side?
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No! I am not dead!
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Can you kiss me the
kiss of life and save me?
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- Cat, I need you to push!
- Oh, Lola.
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Push. Damn it.
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Is it a boy or a girl?
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Lives end just like stories.
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Time of death 10:00 P.M.,
9:00 Central.
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Our voices stop, but
our stories live on.
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Dr. Cat Black is gone for good,
and no one will ever replace her.
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I'm Valerie Flame,
Dr. Cat Black's replacement.
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- What can I do?
- Ooh, girl, whatever you want.
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- Mmm!
- Ha-cha-cha!
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- Whee! Whee! Whee!
- There we go.
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- I'll wash the child.
- Uh-oh, I got a baby boner.
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Goodnight, pussycat.
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I'm back!
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My private practice is over,
and I'm ready to... Wow!
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Phew, that is horrible.
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I mean, come on!
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It's like a bomb went off in that thing.
Ugh, it's like a Vietnam movie.
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Wow!
I'm talking about her vagina.
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- That's enough.
- Wow! You guys should see this thing!
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And new stories begin.
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Life is death and rebirth
and love and blood.
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We all have a story to tell.
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Some stories are just better than others,
more interesting and prettier.
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Some stories are blond with
Scandinavian features.
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And all stories come to a beginning.
So...
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...The beginning.
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are you my grandma?
I was. I work here now.
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That's confusing.
Sorry.
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I have a real treat
for fans of the show.
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I have the actual person upon whom
the character Dr. Blake Downs,
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the character that I play
on the show, was based.
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So, uh, without further ado,
the real Dr. Blake Downs,
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Dr. Blake Downs.
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I have a question. Um, tell me...
What was the real Chief like?
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Oh, uh, the Chief was a very funny woman
who I worked with at the real hospital.
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I feel like this is just
not gonna work at all.
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It's your show.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com