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Previously on
Childrens Hospital...
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Two things... Number one,
I get hard when a woman cries.
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Number two, your daughter
will never walk again.
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Oh, my God.
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Lola's dead.
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I hear her ghost still haunts
the old haunted locker room.
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Is it really so crazy
that I faked my own death
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because I had too many e-mails?
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- We lost her.
- Listen, don't you blame yourself.
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- Well, I don't blame myself.
- Don't.
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- I don't. I'm serious.
- Don't you do that.
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Hey, does it look like I
was blaming myself,
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because I didn't want...
I shouldn't have given that impression.
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This is not on you.
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I'm not blaming myself!
Relax! It wasn't my fault at all.
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If anything, it was Beth's fault.
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Sitting there the whole time, like,
"Uh! I'm not a doctor! What do I do?"
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Attention, staff... I was
working in the lab late one night...
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Hey! Come on!
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My monster, from his slab,
began to rise, and suddenly,
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to my surprise, he did the mash.
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He did the monster mash.
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- The monster mash.
- Aaah!
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It was a graveyard smash.
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That is all.
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Happy Halloween.
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But then again,
what's so happy about it?
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For some,
it's all about dead people.
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Owen.
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Go away, ghost Lola,
before I call Bill Murray to bust you,
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or the black guy whose
name I can't remember.
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- Gaaah!
- I'm not dead.
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- No one believes me. And it's Ernie Hudson.
- They don't call you "Lola" in heaven?
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No, the black guy from "Ghostbusters,"
his name is Ernie Hudson.
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If you're not dead,
then prove it.
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No, I am not peeing on you again.
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Either way, I'm gonna
find a way to bone you.
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You want to bone me
even though I'm not alive?
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You are a ghost!
I knew it!
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Hey, Dr. Maestro.
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Lola's a ghost!
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Look, I know it's a
children's hospital,
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but it's Halloween,
and the real hospital is packed.
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Okay, what do you got?
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Okay, a sorority party bus
flipped over, so I got a sexy
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French maid, sexy schoolgirl,
sexy cop, sexy Alice in wonderland,
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sexy nurse, sexy stripper,
Chewbacca, sexy hot dog
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sexy homeless person,
and a sexy section of drywall.
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Okay, drywall.
Got it.
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Sexy handicapped doctor.
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I'd like to show her
my sexy costume.
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- Ew.
- Wh... Oh.
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No, I just really want to
show her my sexy costume.
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Not kill her.
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Whatever.
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I really want to have sex
with Lola, but she's a ghost,
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so the only way for me to do that is to
cross over to the spirit realm and find her.
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You got to flatline me.
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Owen, this isn't gonna work.
It's not the movies.
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Hurry up and kill me, Flame,
before I change my mind.
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How do I know when
to shock you back to life?
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You got a cellphone?
Let's set an alarm.
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- All right.
- Ten minutes.
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That'll give me more than
enough time to find her
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and make love to her several times.
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I'm fast. But I reset quickly,
it's one of my things.
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- Great.
- One more thing.
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When I'm under,
no peeking at my wiener, okay?
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If you do peek,
I'll tell you, it's intense,
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so don't look directly into its ey...
Aaah!
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Am I dead? Did I flatline?
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Attention, staff...
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At 4:00 P.M., we will all gather around
one of those big wooden old-timey radios
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to listen to President Roosevelt's
update on the war.
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Everyone is welcome,
except Japs.
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Roosevelt? Japs?
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I didn't die.
I time-traveled to 1987.
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Lola hasn't even been born yet.
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I can show these people modern
medicine and get totally laid.
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- Excuse me, black-and-white lady...
- Shh!
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It's Mulatto,
and no one's supposed to know that.
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If they find out
I have a white mother,
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they'll kick me out of nursing school.
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Excuse me, I'm from the future.
I need your help.
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Okay, sweetheart, you calm down
and come on with me.
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- We'll bring you to see a doctor.
- Okay.
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We need to get on the Internet.
Do you have a laptop?
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Yes. When I sit down.
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Nothing!
Aaah! Please don't hurt me!
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Wait, what are you doing here?
Owen's looking for you in the spirit world.
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I'm not a ghost!
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- Oh, yeah? Prove it.
- How?
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Drink this water, and we'll see
if it goes right through you.
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Done.
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Ha! See? I told you!
You're a ghost!
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No, I'm not a ghost.
I just have a really tiny bladder.
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All right. Well, totally
unrelated to the ghost thing,
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drink the rest while your dummy
sings "Camptown Races."
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All right.
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Look at me, Chief.
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You'll see me in
my sexy costume.
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Yes, you will.
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- Childrens.
- Have you checked the children?
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It's him again!
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Trace the call!
Come on!
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Well, that's gonna take about
thirty to fourty-five seconds
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to figure out if we've
checked those children.
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Got it! It's coming from inside the
hospital... The maternity ward!
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Wait, is this Max?
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Yeah, man.
Have you checked the children?
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'Cause I've been up here for an hour,
and nobody's been by to check them.
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Yeah, I'll send the chief up.
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All right.
Your cold sounds terrible, by the way.
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I'm coming, children!
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What the...?
This isn't the maternity ward.
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Max!
Hello?! Anyone here?!
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It's me, Chief!
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Murderer!
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Oh! My balls!
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Aah! Bedpans!
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Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
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Hundreds of mousetraps!
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Ow, ow, ow, ow, ooh,
ow, ow, ow, ooh, ooh!
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I just gave you a shot of
this new drug penicillin.
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It should calm you down. Or not.
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We don't know.
It might grow hair.
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Listen to me...
I'm not crazy.
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I'm from the future,
and we don't have much time.
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Together, we can save
millions of lives.
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Look, this proves it...
a cellphone from the future!
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Oh, it just vibrated!
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Oh, no.
That means I'm out of time.
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I have an appointment.
With the future.
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Well, I am off to buy a hot dog and
the late edition for a nickel.
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Take me now!
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I want to know how they make
whoopee in the future, spaceman!
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Spaceman?
Okay, but hold on just a second.
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I'm gonna write myself some stock tips
so I can get rich in the future.
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Microsoft, Cisco, E-Trade.
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Attention, hospital staff...
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the food in the cafeteria
is made of people.
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It's made of people.
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That is all.
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Okay. Here we go.
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What? Out of my way, drywall!
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Aah! Oh, God.
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Oh, geez Louise.
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Aah! Oh! Whoo! Whoa! Whoa! Aah!
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Okay, all right, everybody, we've
come to a decision on the costume contest.
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Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
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And the winner is a three-way
tie between the sexy French maid,
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sexy schoolgirl,
and little Ernie Hudson.
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Got to get away from him!
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And, of course, the only fair way to
settle this... The stripper pole!
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Yeah, you wait!
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Got to get away! Oh, God!
Got to get away from him!
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I know!
I'll shimmy up that pole!
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No! No, wait! Chief!
The pole isn't secure!
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No! Aaaah!
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I'm sorry I tormented you as a teen!
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Oh, no! No!
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Chief, it's me, Chet.
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Yeah, I wanted to show
you my sexy costume.
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Oh, my gosh.
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Thank God!
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Wait a minute, Chet.
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This is your costume?
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- I don't think it's very sexy.
- No, no.
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- This is my scary costume.
- Oh.
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This... is my sexy costume.
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Oh, that's nice.
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Oh!
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Folks, we have a winner.
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Sexy snake charmer!
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Apple, Google,
Amazon, eBay.
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Okay. Let's do this.
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That was quick.
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Come back! Come on!
I'll get naked!
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Stop zapping me!
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Aah! Oh, that hurts! Oh!
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Did you find Lola on the other side?
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I didn't go to the other side.
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I went back in time.
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The stock tips!
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Microsoft, Cisco, eBay.
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- Oh, wait.
- Owen.
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- Aah! Ghost Lola!
- I am not a ghost, okay?! I didn't die!
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But that day,
the surgery... I saw you!
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I'm just a gifted ventriloquist.
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Wait, my phone.
192
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Oh, my God, you guys.
I left my phone in the 1980s.
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Do you know at this means?
194
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Can it be... you?
195
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I waited... so long!
196
00:10:05,124 --> 00:10:07,798
It hasn't been very long for me.
It's been like a minute... oh!
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Okay. Whoa. But...
198
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Mmm!
You taste like vitamins.
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- You know, that's actually kind of hot.
- Wait till she sees his wiener.
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Chief, I have so many things
I want to show you.
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00:10:39,575 --> 00:10:42,842
- Like what?
- Just, like, all this stuff.
202
00:10:42,865 --> 00:10:44,039
Oh. Wow. Yeah.
203
00:10:44,063 --> 00:10:46,810
'Cause I decorated it myself,
and I'm pretty proud of it.
204
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- You have flair, mister.
- I... I guess so.
205
00:10:49,713 --> 00:10:51,827
- Yeah. Is that you?
- That is... as a baby.
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00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,964
Cute, little baby boy in his bath.
207
00:10:53,979 --> 00:10:57,384
- It's probably like one year old, maybe a little older.
- Yeah. It's nice. Great.
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00:10:57,404 --> 00:10:59,787
- Well, thanks for showing me your basement.
- Thanks for coming by.
209
00:10:59,797 --> 00:11:02,838
- I'm coming over here if there's a tornado, okay?
- Definitely. We can hang out.
210
00:11:02,859 --> 00:11:05,372
- All righty. Let's get back to the hospital.
- Good to see you.
211
00:11:05,387 --> 00:11:07,524
- See you, Chet!
- All right. Enjoy your weekend.
212
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:13,525
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com