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Previously on
"Childrens Hospital"...
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I just wish we could hit rewind.
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Life's not a VCR.
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I know.
Goodbye, Blake.
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Goodbye, Freckles.
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You're fired, Dr. Spratt,
because I'd rather be liked than right.
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- You're not fired. You're re-hired.
- Sweet.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Babies.
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Somewhere under all the masks we
acquire, we're just babies...
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Unwritten upon, innocently
pooping in public places.
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Where did you
come from, little one?
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Oh, what's this?
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"Please help me. My real parents
can't take care of me.
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They can barely take
care of themselves.
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Please find me a home."
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I'll try, little one.
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I'll try.
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Then we grow up and
change until we realize that the
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people we thought we knew were
just more babies wearing masks.
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You can't judge a book by its cover.
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Unless, of course,
it's a Mexican novella.
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You pretty much know what you're
getting there... I mean,
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a peasant girl is gonna get
raped by a wealthy landowner.
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What are you gonna do?
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Whoa, Dr. Maestro!
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You know hospital
policy on sunglasses.
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Heart surgeons only.
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Take 'em off.
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Dr. Maestro,
what happened to you?
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It's nothing, Dori.
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I fell down a flight of...
fists.
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Listen, Owen, I had a...
friend who was always making
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excuses for her bruises.
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Turned out it was her husband
who had been beating her.
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A "friend," huh, Dori?
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And what happened to this "friend"?
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She got a job as a nurse
in a children's hospital
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and went on to help other people who were
suffering, as she had once suffered.
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But then her nursing company moved
her to Santa Fe and we lost touch.
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She was kind of a bitch anyway
so she probably deserved it.
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But the same exact
thing happened to me.
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The relocation.
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Not the beating thing.
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I got a 10-year-old
with severe knuckle trauma!
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Owen, meet me in room 4, now!
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Go, go, go!
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Sometimes we're all
alone in our pain, and sometimes
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we're just all alone and
there's nothing to...
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You can't think of anything to...
Talked about the "book by its cover" thing,
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the masks, the whole
peasant-girl dealie... Uhh...
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Oh!
There's something happening in here.
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I'm honored, Senator,
that you would choose come to me.
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You seem to understand the delicate
nature of this request, Dr. Spratt.
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The pro-life stance is essential
to my re-election bid.
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But my wife really
needs this abortion.
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I can't have a baby right now, Doctor.
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My dancing career is
too important to me.
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I understand.
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And, Daniel, you're okay with this?
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I don't want to be aborted.
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You knock it off!
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Now, I do have to point out,
just medically speaking,
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that your son is well beyond the
traditional age for an abortion.
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I'm a Christian.
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I'm not interested in your
medical-school scientific
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information proof left-wing
voodoo mumbo-jumbo.
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My wife wants to be a better
jazz dancer, and we need to get
rid of Daniel.
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- This is not brain surgery.
- But it is a surgery.
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Wow, heavy.
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Oh, here's something else I
can watch and comment on.
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Sometimes the worst in people
brings out the best in others.
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Hey.
What is this?
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Sy, someone
left an orphan here.
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Get rid of it.
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Speaking of masks,
Sy hasn't been himself lately.
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Valerie, do you mind?
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Oh, you...
You can see me.
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- Yeah, uh...
- Sy.
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- Hmm?
- What has happened to you?
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You used to be so kind.
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Yeah, but now I'm
living for myself, now.
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Screw the others.
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Took me a long time to
get in that spotlight.
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Feel the light?
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Huh, do you feel that?
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And now that I'm here...
I'm staying. Wah!
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I see what's happened,
and it's all my fault.
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I encouraged you to spread your wings,
and then you went too far.
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It's as if I offered you one drink,
and you've become an alcoholic.
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Oh, my God.
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I'm an alcoholic.
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That's what it is!
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- Eh, just...
- Help! Help!
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I'm a slave to the demons of alcohol!
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I'll find a home
for you, wee one.
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Hold still, please!
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Owen, get over here!
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Give me a hand, will you?
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Come on, he's gonna lose this fist!
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Come here! Restrain him!
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I'm sorry, Blake...
I can't do this!
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What the hell's the matter with you?!
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Hey, Owen.
You're not going anywhere!
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Hey, Owen. Hey, Owen. Hey, Owen.
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You're not going anywhere!
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Hey, Owen.
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Justin.
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I'm just going to work.
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You're not going anywhere!
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I'm a doctor! I'm a doctor!
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I'm a grown-up!
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I don't like children.
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Life is like chess.
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And sometimes, if you want to
shake up the board, you've got
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to move your pieces around.
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Blake to Lola 7.
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Lola, Blake here used to
perform a lot of abortions.
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Now you guys talk.
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Oh, is that true, Blake?
Were you an abortionist?
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- Oh, hells yeah.
- Why'd you stop?
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This is a very
complicated issue, you know.
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With a lot of different sides,
a lot of different viewpoints.
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Plus, it just stopped being fun.
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I'm unsanitary!
I'm an alcoholic!
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I just wish it were
a black-and-white issue.
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You know, I mean, there are
times when abortion is a valid
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option, like in cases of rape or
incest or if the mother's an a-hole.
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Right.
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But other times, it's such a gray area,
like when the baby is sixteen years old.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey.
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At the end of the day, it's a
woman's right to choose,
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and nothing trumps
my respect for women.
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You got to do what's in your heart.
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That's not my heart.
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I know.
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I know.
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I just don't know what to do.
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You got to go with your gut.
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That's not my gut.
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Oh, I know.
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I know that.
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If the senator wants an abortion,
then that's his choice,
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and I should just respect that.
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"Keep your laws off my body."
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That's the kind of thing these
pinkos say all the time in
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hospitals just like this one.
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But I say that abortion is
unacceptable in any case! Questions.
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Senator, please...
The question was about your wife
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and her jazz-dance career.
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Where was I?
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Oh, yeah, this whole thing.
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Gasoline!
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Is there something you
want to talk about, Owen?
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I'm okay.
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I once had a friend who
needed to get something off her
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chest really badly but couldn't,
so she turned to a friend who
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had had a similar experience.
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That friend ended up helping
my friend get through it.
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Was that friend you, Dori?
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Yes.
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And I was also the other friend.
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Wait, what?
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Well, well, well.
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Dr. Maestro, finally ready to
help me with this kid or what?
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Go for it.
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Ow!
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Blake, I have a confession to make.
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I'm a battered doctor, and every day
before work, this man beats me up.
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You mean boy,
because he's not a man... He's ten.
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It almost seems that way, doesn't it?
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No, it is that way,
because he is ten years old.
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You would think he's ten.
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You would know he's ten,
because he is.
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- Bet you he's eleven.
- What are we arguing about?
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Let's wake him up and
ask him if he has pubic hair.
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- Let's never do that.
- I bet he drives a car.
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- Bet he doesn't.
- He probably has a full-time job.
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- He goes to school full-time.
- Maybe he's from the future.
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Why would that explain anything?
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Looks like you two
have a lot to talk about.
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Like the fact that he's only ten.
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No, he's not.
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Attention.
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Neurology rules, oncology drools.
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Suck it, oncology.
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Suck... it.
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This is quite a moral conundrum.
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Dr. Spratt!
I'm calling it off!
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My wife and I want to keep Daniel!
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I don't understand.
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I'm gonna be a grandfather.
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Daniel is pregnant!
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Senator, that's impossible,
because Daniel is a...
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Boy, am I happy for you.
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My son is with child!
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Come here!
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My son is with child!
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I fooled my parents into
thinking I'm pregnant.
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But what happens when no baby arrives?
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They'll be sure to abort me then.
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I think I might have a
solution that benefits everybody.
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Take this baby.
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Great.
Thanks.
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Okay.
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Look, I'm sorry.
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Don't be.
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I beat you up all the time,
and it's super-embarrassing
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because I'm only ten.
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Why do you do it?
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I have a dark but socially
relevant situation at home.
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It doesn't justify my
aggressions towards you, but
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nevertheless, it's my source of rage.
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Long story short, my old man
used to smack me on the head
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with a sledgehammer.
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- You mean a sledgehammer just like this one?
- No way.
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I carry it around with me
everywhere I go to remind me
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of the terrible and humiliating
things my father used to do to me.
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You see, we're not so
different after all.
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Yeah.
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Ow!
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Babies.
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That's all we are.
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You know I can't hear you, right?
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Books without covers...
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Dead air.
That's all I'm getting.
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Just... Long pause while
you're staring at me.
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Stories without endings...
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Still doing it?
Yeah.
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Well, I guess that's her thing.
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Tales filled with tragedy...
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I'm gonna drink myself to
death right here in this hotel
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room, at this second,
right now, watch.
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Oh, my God, I don't know how
people can drink this stuff.
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Tales filled with beauty...
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You did it!
Oh, it's a boy!
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Fairy tales filled with whimsy
and childlike wonder... And that's the end.
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Or maybe it's the beginning.
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What the hell happened here?
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A sledgehammer.
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Or maybe it's a little bit of both...
A beginning and an end.
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A begending.
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So, the begend.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Attention.
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I'm on a seafood diet.
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I only eat seafood.