1
00:00:01,939 --> 00:00:03,807
You're a sellout!

2
00:00:03,841 --> 00:00:05,575
You're a Ronald McDonald
paint job!

3
00:00:05,610 --> 00:00:06,610
Hey!

4
00:00:06,644 --> 00:00:08,044
I don't like the "p" word.

5
00:00:08,079 --> 00:00:09,446
Oh! Sorry, nurse.

6
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,381
We thought the new doctor
was coming in.

7
00:00:11,415 --> 00:00:12,682
She did just come in.

8
00:00:12,717 --> 00:00:14,985
First of all, you mean
"he" just came in.

9
00:00:15,686 --> 00:00:19,322
No, I most definitely
did not mean "he."

10
00:00:19,357 --> 00:00:21,758
- I'm an Aquarius.
- You're an aquarius.

11
00:00:21,792 --> 00:00:22,826
What a coincidence.

12
00:00:22,860 --> 00:00:23,693
I'm bisexual.

13
00:00:23,728 --> 00:00:26,329
And that's why I'm leaving
Childrens Hospital.

14
00:00:26,364 --> 00:00:27,797
And I will never, ever return.

15
00:00:27,832 --> 00:00:30,734
And so I would like to take this
chance to say...

16
00:00:30,768 --> 00:00:31,701
Insecure slut.

17
00:00:31,736 --> 00:00:32,969
I know you're bulimic.

18
00:00:33,004 --> 00:00:34,104
You're my Nemesis.

19
00:00:34,138 --> 00:00:35,572
Don't really know you.

20
00:00:35,606 --> 00:00:36,940
I've always loved you.

21
00:00:36,974 --> 00:00:40,377
And last but not least...

22
00:00:40,411 --> 00:00:41,778
Pass.

23
00:00:47,685 --> 00:00:50,587
Hey, did you guys hear
about that thing about sports?

24
00:00:50,621 --> 00:00:51,454
Yeah.

25
00:00:51,489 --> 00:00:52,922
Ugh!

26
00:00:52,957 --> 00:00:54,591
I hate men.

27
00:00:54,625 --> 00:00:57,060
On the way here, some guy asked
me to flash my breasts.

28
00:00:57,094 --> 00:00:59,929
- Did he have a video camera?
- Not even.

29
00:00:59,964 --> 00:01:02,298
Oh, then I'm just as
mad as you are.

30
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,534
I'm just...
I'm tired of being objectified.

31
00:01:04,568 --> 00:01:06,436
You know what you should do?

32
00:01:06,470 --> 00:01:07,437
You should get naked.

33
00:01:07,471 --> 00:01:08,638
You'd be making a statement,

34
00:01:08,673 --> 00:01:09,673
reclaiming your nudity.

35
00:01:09,707 --> 00:01:11,441
You know what?
You're right.

36
00:01:11,475 --> 00:01:16,746
I... I am no longer going to be
shackled by these objects of...

37
00:01:16,781 --> 00:01:18,381
of oppression.

38
00:01:18,416 --> 00:01:23,687
From now on,
this emperor has new clothes.

39
00:01:23,721 --> 00:01:25,321
Skin clothes.

40
00:01:28,659 --> 00:01:30,427
- Hey, Val.
- Hi.

41
00:01:30,461 --> 00:01:33,096
Can I crash here for a while?

42
00:01:33,397 --> 00:01:36,866
Um...

43
00:01:36,901 --> 00:01:37,701
Sure.

44
00:01:37,735 --> 00:01:39,469
Oh, God.

45
00:01:39,503 --> 00:01:40,870
Um, funny story.

46
00:01:40,905 --> 00:01:43,873
Uh, I got a new landlord,
and she doesn't like clowns.

47
00:01:43,908 --> 00:01:46,476
Weird. I mean,
who doesn't like clowns?

48
00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:49,012
Anyway, there's a special sink
for you in the corner,

49
00:01:49,046 --> 00:01:50,513
you and all your clownfolk,
if they ever come over,

50
00:01:50,548 --> 00:01:52,716
which you have to run by us,
of course.

51
00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:54,484
- And the answer is no.
- Cool.

52
00:01:54,518 --> 00:01:56,820
Hey, did you guys hear about
that thing about sports?

53
00:01:56,854 --> 00:01:59,122
- Follow me, Blake.
- Okay, thanks.

54
00:01:59,156 --> 00:02:01,491
Hey, totally unrelated.
Are you naked right now?

55
00:02:01,525 --> 00:02:05,995
Okay, you're gonna feel
a little pinch.

56
00:02:06,030 --> 00:02:06,896
Ow!

57
00:02:06,931 --> 00:02:09,866
Righteous.

58
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:13,670
I'm looking for Dr. Lola Spratt:

59
00:02:13,704 --> 00:02:15,438
Tall, skin like an airbrushed centerfold,

60
00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:19,409
legs that go all the way up to
make an ass out of themselves.

61
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:20,510
Huh.

62
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:23,046
Lola is a girl's name.

63
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,848
I thought girls can't be doctors.

64
00:02:24,882 --> 00:02:29,853
Maybe I'm looking for
a girl to play doctor.

65
00:02:29,887 --> 00:02:31,521
What happened?

66
00:02:31,555 --> 00:02:33,490
You left here out of the blue.

67
00:02:33,524 --> 00:02:35,492
Well, I'm back now.

68
00:02:40,998 --> 00:02:41,865
I'm back now.

69
00:02:41,899 --> 00:02:43,633
You should be careful.

70
00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:49,539
Once you come back,
you never go back.

71
00:02:49,573 --> 00:02:51,741
Hey, did you hear about
that thing about politics?

72
00:02:51,776 --> 00:02:52,642
Don't even.

73
00:02:52,676 --> 00:02:54,878
Hey, you guys didn't
use my concealer, did you?

74
00:02:54,912 --> 00:02:56,846
Yeah. Sorry.
I used a little on my back.

75
00:02:56,881 --> 00:02:58,348
Speaking of makeup,

76
00:02:58,382 --> 00:02:59,849
how are we gonna
get Blake out of here?

77
00:02:59,884 --> 00:03:01,284
I know.

78
00:03:01,318 --> 00:03:03,787
I mean, I feel kind of bad not
letting him use the front door,

79
00:03:03,821 --> 00:03:05,388
but that's just
the way things are.

80
00:03:05,422 --> 00:03:06,489
I don't feel bad.

81
00:03:06,524 --> 00:03:08,658
He wants to live here,
he follows the rules of society.

82
00:03:08,692 --> 00:03:09,826
He speaks only when spoken to,

83
00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:11,261
he's not allowed to vote,

84
00:03:11,295 --> 00:03:12,796
and he eats all his meals
under the kitchen table.

85
00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:14,864
- I'm gonna go take a shower.
- I'll join you.

86
00:03:14,899 --> 00:03:17,901
I'm gonna take a shower
on the way to work.

87
00:03:45,362 --> 00:03:47,964
Yeah.

88
00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:50,567
Looks like you've had
a pretty bad pinch here.

89
00:03:50,601 --> 00:03:51,801
Does it hurt when I do this?

90
00:03:51,836 --> 00:03:54,671
Ow!

91
00:03:54,705 --> 00:03:55,972
Hey.

92
00:03:56,006 --> 00:03:57,974
- I'm Dr. Brian.
- Hi.

93
00:03:58,008 --> 00:03:59,475
I used to work here,

94
00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:00,743
but I left several years ago to

95
00:04:00,778 --> 00:04:02,645
be a consultant on a
TV medical drama.

96
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,648
Oh, right, "Black Hospital,"
starring Marlon Wayans.

97
00:04:05,683 --> 00:04:06,683
I loved that program.

98
00:04:06,717 --> 00:04:07,383
Do you know him?

99
00:04:07,418 --> 00:04:08,618
- Wayans?
- Yeah.

100
00:04:08,652 --> 00:04:10,019
Taught him
everything he knows.

101
00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:13,423
That's funny.

102
00:04:13,457 --> 00:04:15,491
I'm sure you didn't teach him
everything he knows.

103
00:04:15,526 --> 00:04:16,759
I mean, you probably only taught

104
00:04:16,794 --> 00:04:17,894
him what it's like to be...

105
00:04:17,928 --> 00:04:18,695
a black doctor.

106
00:04:18,729 --> 00:04:19,796
You got me.

107
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,966
He knows way more than
just the black-doctor stuff.

108
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,335
Hey, do you want to
get a drink after work?

109
00:04:25,369 --> 00:04:26,736
You know, maybe I can show you

110
00:04:26,770 --> 00:04:30,807
some of the things that
Marlon Wayans taught me.

111
00:04:30,841 --> 00:04:32,675
About having sex.

112
00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:34,410
Oh!

113
00:04:34,445 --> 00:04:35,612
I... I can't.

114
00:04:35,646 --> 00:04:38,848
Lola's my friend, and, um,
I'm also pretty racist.

115
00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:40,650
- Hey!
- Hi.

116
00:04:40,684 --> 00:04:41,517
Hey.

117
00:04:41,552 --> 00:04:43,019
Hey, the women here off limits.

118
00:04:43,053 --> 00:04:44,754
You didn't see me on the set of

119
00:04:44,788 --> 00:04:47,390
"Black Hospital" trying to bang
Marlon Wayans, did you?

120
00:04:47,424 --> 00:04:48,725
We're not dating anymore.

121
00:04:48,792 --> 00:04:51,394
- You dated Marlon Wayans?
- I meant me and you.

122
00:04:51,428 --> 00:04:54,397
- Well, there is no me and you.
- That's what I just said.

123
00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:56,432
Well, yeah, but in a
roundabout kind of way.

124
00:04:56,467 --> 00:04:57,667
Then how about this?

125
00:04:57,701 --> 00:04:58,801
I can date whoever I want.

126
00:04:58,836 --> 00:04:59,535
Yeah?

127
00:04:59,570 --> 00:05:00,637
Well, I'm pretty well-liked
around here,

128
00:05:00,671 --> 00:05:01,871
and if I give the word,

129
00:05:01,906 --> 00:05:03,273
then you're gonna be on
the black list,

130
00:05:03,307 --> 00:05:06,843
if you get my double meaning.

131
00:05:06,877 --> 00:05:10,246
Blake, aren't you looking for
the multicolored rest room?

132
00:05:10,281 --> 00:05:11,014
Not today.

133
00:05:11,048 --> 00:05:14,284
Oh, my God!

134
00:05:21,592 --> 00:05:25,395
I know a bar that will
let anybody use their toilets.

135
00:05:25,429 --> 00:05:26,329
Let's go.

136
00:05:26,964 --> 00:05:28,865
I've never noticed that
about fat people.

137
00:05:28,899 --> 00:05:29,832
It's true.

138
00:05:29,867 --> 00:05:32,335
Hey, I really loved your show,
by the way.

139
00:05:32,369 --> 00:05:33,369
It really spoke to me.

140
00:05:33,404 --> 00:05:34,404
Thanks, man.

141
00:05:34,438 --> 00:05:35,705
Marlon Wayans has a real talent

142
00:05:35,739 --> 00:05:37,006
for the personalization of the

143
00:05:37,041 --> 00:05:37,907
struggleties of...

144
00:05:37,942 --> 00:05:39,275
Peoplehoodedness.

145
00:05:39,310 --> 00:05:41,344
- All right.
- Catchy slogan.

146
00:05:41,378 --> 00:05:43,279
- I wrote it.
- Mnh-mnh.

147
00:05:43,314 --> 00:05:44,914
I just wish I could live it.

148
00:05:44,949 --> 00:05:47,817
Oh, well, hey, at least
you're not a clown, right?

149
00:05:48,552 --> 00:05:49,786
I hope you're not

150
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:52,322
comparing the struggle of
black people to clowns.

151
00:05:52,356 --> 00:05:53,523
Brian, wake up.

152
00:05:53,557 --> 00:05:54,757
There's a black president.

153
00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:55,725
Your fight's over.

154
00:05:55,759 --> 00:05:57,760
Never been a clown president,
all right?

155
00:05:57,795 --> 00:06:00,330
Unless you count James Monroe,
and I don't.

156
00:06:00,364 --> 00:06:00,930
I do not.

157
00:06:00,965 --> 00:06:03,833
Blacks were enslaved for centuries,
tens of decades even.

158
00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:04,767
There's no comparison.

159
00:06:04,802 --> 00:06:06,803
Blacks and gays have
it easy now, okay?

160
00:06:06,837 --> 00:06:08,938
And black gays? Forget about it.
Look at Will Smith.

161
00:06:08,973 --> 00:06:11,274
You're not being very
righteous right now.

162
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:12,842
What are you gonna do,
Brian?

163
00:06:12,876 --> 00:06:13,910
Run for office against me?

164
00:06:13,944 --> 00:06:17,380
Well, maybe I'll tell
everybody your little secret.

165
00:06:17,414 --> 00:06:19,649
Oh. Yeah.

166
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:22,418
I've known you since the '70s,
blue and red.

167
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:26,789
I know what you're really hiding
under all that grease.

168
00:06:30,894 --> 00:06:32,695
I know Blake stole my shotgun.

169
00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:34,664
It's got to be here
somewhere in his stuff.

170
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:37,367
Cat, can I just say
that you look really,

171
00:06:37,401 --> 00:06:38,501
really empowered right now?

172
00:06:38,535 --> 00:06:40,770
Thanks, Val,
but I'm kind of cold.

173
00:06:40,804 --> 00:06:44,440
And there's no comfy place to
put your chap stick.

174
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:47,910
I guess that's just the price of
being empowered, you know?

175
00:06:47,945 --> 00:06:49,045
I just want to feel how

176
00:06:49,079 --> 00:06:52,648
empowered you are... with this.

177
00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:54,917
- Hey, check this out.
- Oh, wow.

178
00:06:55,886 --> 00:06:58,254
They're so cute when they're kids.

179
00:06:58,288 --> 00:06:58,821
Yeah.

180
00:06:58,856 --> 00:07:00,390
Too bad such an adorable kid can

181
00:07:00,424 --> 00:07:03,226
grow up to steal a shotgun and
probably kill us all with it.

182
00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:04,627
Hey, wait a second.
What's this?

183
00:07:05,696 --> 00:07:07,430
- His journal.
- Score.

184
00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:08,498
Oh.

185
00:07:08,532 --> 00:07:10,199
"Cat: 'Meow' is right.

186
00:07:10,234 --> 00:07:12,268
"Her handsome personality is only

187
00:07:12,302 --> 00:07:14,637
"overshadowed by her
radiant beauty.

188
00:07:14,671 --> 00:07:16,939
"I would never kill any of them."

189
00:07:16,974 --> 00:07:17,840
I feel terrible.

190
00:07:17,875 --> 00:07:21,711
I'll see your terrible feeling
and I'll raise it with a great idea.

191
00:07:21,745 --> 00:07:25,214
I know just how we can
make it up to him.

192
00:07:29,353 --> 00:07:30,653
So, I've just told all

193
00:07:30,687 --> 00:07:33,489
the women here that I will fight
them if they go out with you.

194
00:07:33,524 --> 00:07:35,425
It's not that important to me.

195
00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:37,927
Okay, I'll tell you why
I'm wearing clown makeup.

196
00:07:37,961 --> 00:07:38,995
I didn't ask.

197
00:07:39,029 --> 00:07:41,597
We decided to let Blake
join our little group.

198
00:07:41,632 --> 00:07:42,498
Jealous much?

199
00:07:42,533 --> 00:07:44,700
What happened to you,
Lola?

200
00:07:44,735 --> 00:07:47,270
You used to be sweet
and a little slutty.

201
00:07:47,304 --> 00:07:49,972
Now your heart is as black as...

202
00:07:50,007 --> 00:07:52,708
I don't know anything as black
as your heart.

203
00:07:52,743 --> 00:07:54,944
Well, you know what they say.

204
00:07:54,978 --> 00:08:00,416
Once you go black,
it's hard to think of anything...

205
00:08:00,451 --> 00:08:01,684
We can't.

206
00:08:01,718 --> 00:08:02,885
I can't.

207
00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:04,887
We're too different.

208
00:08:04,922 --> 00:08:07,223
We're like pandas and zebras.

209
00:08:07,257 --> 00:08:10,506
Blake's coming,
everybody!

210
00:08:10,517 --> 00:08:12,643
I have to go.

211
00:08:12,663 --> 00:08:14,630
This isn't over.

212
00:08:28,579 --> 00:08:30,613
I don't...
I don't get it.

213
00:08:30,647 --> 00:08:32,248
We accept you, Blake.

214
00:08:32,282 --> 00:08:33,716
You're one of us now.

215
00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:36,819
Or maybe we're one of you.

216
00:08:36,854 --> 00:08:39,622
Or maybe we're all the same.

217
00:08:39,656 --> 00:08:43,226
Or maybe we're just
not so different after all.

218
00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:45,528
You see, Blake?

219
00:08:45,562 --> 00:08:46,863
No.
I still don't get it.

220
00:08:46,897 --> 00:08:47,897
Why are you wearing makeup?

221
00:08:47,931 --> 00:08:48,931
We accept you,

222
00:08:48,966 --> 00:08:50,466
and this is symbolic of
our acceptance.

223
00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:51,200
Blah, blah, blah.

224
00:08:51,235 --> 00:08:53,369
Yeah, but why were you
clapping so slowly?

225
00:08:53,403 --> 00:08:54,670
You guys, forget it.

226
00:08:54,705 --> 00:08:55,538
Wait!

227
00:08:55,572 --> 00:08:57,840
Don't you guys want to know
Blake's real secret?

228
00:08:57,875 --> 00:08:59,742
Brian, what are you doing?

229
00:08:59,776 --> 00:09:00,209
No!

230
00:09:00,244 --> 00:09:02,845
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Brian, what are you doing?

231
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,247
See, guys?

232
00:09:04,281 --> 00:09:05,248
Look. It's me.

233
00:09:05,282 --> 00:09:07,850
I guess I'm not so
different now, am I?

234
00:09:07,885 --> 00:09:09,785
Oh, my God.
Blake's black.

235
00:09:10,621 --> 00:09:11,621
Say what?!

236
00:09:11,655 --> 00:09:12,488
Wait.

237
00:09:12,523 --> 00:09:13,589
I still don't get it.

238
00:09:13,624 --> 00:09:15,424
- Ugh!
- Oh, my God.

239
00:09:15,459 --> 00:09:16,659
That's confusing.

240
00:09:16,693 --> 00:09:17,627
That's confusing.

241
00:09:17,661 --> 00:09:18,861
You know what?

242
00:09:18,896 --> 00:09:20,429
I don't care if you're black.

243
00:09:20,464 --> 00:09:21,397
I'm pissed off.

244
00:09:21,431 --> 00:09:22,465
You're a jackass.

245
00:09:22,499 --> 00:09:24,200
<i>Well,
everything was resolved...</i>

246
00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:27,470
<i>Except Blake doesn't
understand what we're doing.</i>

247
00:09:27,504 --> 00:09:29,639
<i>I guess Brian and I
still have a lot to work out.</i>

248
00:09:29,673 --> 00:09:32,475
<i>There's some weird lesbian thing
going on between Cat and Val...</i>

249
00:09:32,509 --> 00:09:33,876
<i>Kind of in the middle of that.</i>

250
00:09:33,911 --> 00:09:36,379
<i>Was there something about a
shotgun missing?</i>

251
00:09:36,413 --> 00:09:37,513
<i>Oh, and Blake is black.</i>

252
00:09:37,548 --> 00:09:38,181
<i>Oh, no.</i>

253
00:09:38,215 --> 00:09:40,616
<i>Have I ever said the "n" word in
front of him?</i>

254
00:09:40,651 --> 00:09:43,686
<i>Eh, who cares?</i>

255
00:09:47,257 --> 00:09:49,358
Hello, I'm Matthew Perry.

256
00:09:49,393 --> 00:09:52,628
There's been a lot of talk about
race and identity here today.

257
00:09:52,663 --> 00:09:55,865
If you and your family want to
find out more,

258
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:59,435
please check out
www.racematters.net.

259
00:09:59,469 --> 00:10:00,870
And if you want to see any

260
00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:05,875
really raw hardcore lesbian porn,
go to femalehusband.net.

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00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:08,211
I've mentioned that I'm
Matthew Perry, right?

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00:10:08,245 --> 00:10:12,481
That's... That's all you really
need to know... I think.

263
00:10:17,721 --> 00:10:19,789
You did it again, Dr. black.

264
00:10:19,823 --> 00:10:23,893
You brought two different kinds
of people together and still

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00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,895
managed to solve a mystery.

266
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,697
How do you do it?

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00:10:27,731 --> 00:10:29,932
Well, I just... educated them

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00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:34,804
on the personalization of the
struggleties of peoplehoodedness.

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00:10:34,838 --> 00:10:36,772
- Oh.
- Yes.

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00:10:36,807 --> 00:10:38,407
Mm-mm-mm.

271
00:10:41,845 --> 00:10:45,214
<i>Attention hospital staff,
me so horny.</i>

272
00:10:45,249 --> 00:10:48,684
<i>That sounds racist,
but it's true.</i>

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00:10:48,685 --> 00:10:51,685
www.addic7ed.com