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Previously
on Childrens Hospital...
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Your son's operation is over.
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- And?
- What do you think?
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00:00:05,909 --> 00:00:07,845
- How did it go?
- How do you think it went?
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I don't know.
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- You were in there.
- Or maybe I wasn't.
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I mean, you got to think this
stuff over before you start
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running off at the mouth.
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Owen, a word with you,
if I might.
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Is this about me sleeping
with your sister again, Sy?
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Oh, yes.
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But now I'm begging you
to reconsider.
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Look, she's going through
a tough dry spell.
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She could really use it.
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No can do, bro.
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You know my rule.
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Yes, you don't sleep with
girls who look like Ray Liotta.
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Bingo!
And your sister is Totes Liotts.
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Ugh!
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Glenn, you cannot leave your
dirty socks in the fridge!
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You are such a neat freak!
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I pity the fool who ends up being
your boyfriend, you bitch.
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Kiss me already.
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Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Oh, who forgot to clean
out the coffee grinder?
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Sorry. That was me.
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You know how I am before I
have my coffee in the morning.
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Ohh!
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Blake, you have to wear pants if
we're all in the kitchen together.
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I'm sorry.
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You know how am I before I put
on my pants on in the morning.
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Oh, come on, guys!
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Who got chocolate sauce
all over the counter?
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That's my blood, actually.
Sorry.
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Oh, yeah?
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Ugh!
Guys, this is crazy.
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We have to work out a system
for the mornings so
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that we're not all on
top of each other.
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Guys, I think we're avoiding
the larger issue here:
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That our apartment
isn't big enough for us.
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Guys, to put it another way,
there's too many of us for the apartment.
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Guys, which means that one of us...
will have to move out.
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He's right.
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It's the only way.
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It's settled then.
Who's it gonna be?
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Blake.
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Oh, wait!
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It can't be me.
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My dad co-signed the lease.
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Well, can't be me.
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I'm under house arrest.
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What about Valerie?
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No, you guys
are too afraid of me.
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Did we try Blake?
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Oh.
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Yeah, we did.
Remember?
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Oh.
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- Oh, what about Owen?
- No, not me.
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Yeah, he's got a point.
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Hey, did we try Blake?
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Yeah.
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I don't think so.
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Well, think about it.
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I guess it has to be one of us.
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Owen. O-ski.
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Listen, the kid in 311 has terminal cancer,
and the Dying Wish Foundation has
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granted him one last wish.
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I'm giving that to you.
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Dying Wish Foundation?
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Weren't they caught organizing
a dogfighting ring?
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- No, that was Michael Vick.
- Oh, yeah.
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I always get them confused.
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Yeah.
So his death... In your hands.
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Cool.
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I don't really know how
to end this conversation.
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So... High five?
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- Sure.
- Yeah.
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Hi, Dr. Flame.
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I thought maybe you would like to
know that I'm going home for lunch.
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You want a medal?
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No, but, really?
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What, you think you deserve an award
for going home and eating lunch?
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Is that what you think?
Is that what you think?
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Suck on it.
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Oh.
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- How's my main man?
- Good.
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I'm gonna help you forget
that you'll soon be dead.
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I'm allowed to grant you one wish.
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- Cool.
- Yeah.
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Thanks, Dr... Maestro?
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Oh.
Don't thank me, kid.
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You can thank the Dying
Wish Foundation.
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Now, what's it gonna be, sport?
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I wish for... unlimited wishes.
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- You little son of a bitch.
- Suck it, Maestro.
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That's against wish protocol.
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Let's refer to the text, douche bag.
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What the...
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The wish benefactor,
hereafter called the party of
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the first part, shall not incur
nor be denied of limited
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liability of wishes,
either casually, temporarily,
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permanently, or on secondment.
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Now get me an order of Peking
duck from China, and I want a
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pregnant nurse to sit over there looking
sad wearing an American-flag bikini.
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- What kind of nurse?
- Pregnant.
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I don't see any way around it.
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We'll flip a coin to see who
has to leave the apartment.
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Wait, wait.
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We can move in together,
share a room.
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That would free up space,
and everybody would be happy.
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Glenn, I love you, but I'm just...
I'm not sure I'm
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ready to give up my place...
You know, between your room and the john.
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Plus, if we move in together,
then the other roommates would
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know that we're dating.
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Right, and we're not
ready to tell them yet.
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It's our little secret.
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Now, pet the goat like you like it.
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Like you love it!
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I don't think you're
supposed to have goats in here.
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Call the Globetrotters.
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I want to watch Jeopardy!
with them today.
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Aren't you supposed to be dying?
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When do you think that's gonna happen?
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Make out with it.
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- I'm not gonna make...
- Yes, now!
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I'm allergic to goats.
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I'm so sorry.
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I was just on my way home.
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I have the rest of the day off.
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Get out.
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- That's crazy.
- Yeah.
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Let me call a press conference.
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- Shave off one of your eyebrows.
- Shave off one of my eyebrows?
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♪ Oh, won't you be
good to yourself? ♪
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♪ And don't you feel
like coming home? ♪
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♪ It'll be good. ♪
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♪ It'll be like coming home. ♪
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♪ Blend all your days into weeks. ♪
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- Hey.
- Hey.
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Oh, my gosh.
Are we alone?
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Yeah.
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That never happens.
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What are you doing?
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I'm catching up
on Black Hospital.
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Ah.
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This show is so unrealistic.
147
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Hey, let's do it.
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Sure.
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00:05:54,949 --> 00:05:56,548
Can we wait till commercial?
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I am sorry that I
am not as smart as you!
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00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,454
You always out-emotion me!
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I can't even have my own feelings because
you are always feeling so much more!
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Fine!
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We'll go to your parents'
house for Thanksgiving.
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I had an abortion, Glenn!
An abortion!
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Look at us.
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This is tearing us apart.
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I miss you.
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I really need to take a dump.
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Hey, anybody up for
a mustache contest? I win.
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Well, well, well.
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If it isn't my old partner,
Detective Chance Briggs.
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Aren't you a sight for sore eyebrow?
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I came as soon as you called.
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What's the problem?
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Can you arrest a
little kid for being a dick?
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If he's a Muslim.
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Listen to this.
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I called the Dying Wish Foundation.
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I got no answer.
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I'm beginning to think something's up.
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Wait a minute.
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- This kid, is he about yea big?
- That's the one.
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You're being scammed, Owen.
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00:06:54,243 --> 00:06:56,677
That's Johnny "The Dying Kid" McCloud.
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He pretends he's terminal in order to
steal wishes from unsuspecting hospitals.
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00:07:00,683 --> 00:07:02,483
There is no Dying Wish Foundation.
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Yes, there is.
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00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:05,586
He plays Q.B. for the Philadelphia Eagles.
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00:07:05,655 --> 00:07:07,688
You're thinking of Michael Vick.
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00:07:07,723 --> 00:07:10,958
We got to stop this kid.
Come on.
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You live in an
out-of-order bathroom?
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Uh-huh.
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Come with me.
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00:07:30,213 --> 00:07:33,047
It's as if I'm not supposed to
be a guy anymore.
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Dude, as your best friend in the whole wide
world, let me just tell you something.
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You're turning into a chick!
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Here's what you got to do.
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00:07:39,856 --> 00:07:42,490
Dress as a woman, become her
best friend for six to eight months,
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00:07:42,559 --> 00:07:45,593
get her to talk some smack about you,
and then nail her on it!
191
00:07:45,662 --> 00:07:46,627
Foolproof plan!
192
00:07:46,663 --> 00:07:48,195
That's a great idea.
193
00:07:48,231 --> 00:07:50,664
Oh, but she has a best friend already.
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I thought I knew him.
195
00:07:52,201 --> 00:07:54,467
But all he wants to do is control me.
196
00:07:54,536 --> 00:07:56,669
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
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00:07:56,705 --> 00:07:57,737
Probably.
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00:07:57,772 --> 00:07:59,939
- Vegas!
- Murder him and molest his dead body!
199
00:08:00,008 --> 00:08:02,174
- What?
- Vegas!
200
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:04,644
Bro, you do not want
to end up like me.
201
00:08:04,713 --> 00:08:07,848
Look at me: Two kids, great job,
solid retirement plan, and
202
00:08:07,883 --> 00:08:11,753
guess what kind of car I surround my
awesome portable DVD system with.
203
00:08:11,822 --> 00:08:13,822
- What?
- Minivan.
204
00:08:13,857 --> 00:08:15,991
How's the sex?
205
00:08:16,027 --> 00:08:17,560
Amazing.
206
00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:20,096
That is the part that always works.
207
00:08:20,131 --> 00:08:22,666
That's the part that's gotten stale.
208
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:23,633
We're in a rut.
209
00:08:23,668 --> 00:08:25,568
She refuses to play with my balls.
210
00:08:25,637 --> 00:08:28,905
You can't expect her to like
bowling as much as you.
211
00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,540
How's the sex?
212
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:31,741
You should dump him.
213
00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:33,109
You got to be your own woman.
214
00:08:33,845 --> 00:08:35,912
You could come with
me to oral-sex rehab!
215
00:08:35,981 --> 00:08:36,980
Road trip!
216
00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:39,082
Maybe you're right.
217
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:40,517
Thanks for talking with me, Pat.
218
00:08:40,553 --> 00:08:41,618
You're my best friend.
219
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:43,254
Great advice, Pat.
220
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:44,822
You're my best friend.
221
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:47,725
Aww!
222
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:50,896
- Can we talk about me sometimes?
- No.
223
00:08:50,932 --> 00:08:53,633
This is the kid's
room right up here!
224
00:08:53,668 --> 00:08:56,236
No, no, no, no, no!
225
00:08:56,271 --> 00:08:57,804
He took everything!
226
00:08:57,839 --> 00:08:58,605
Son of a bitch!
227
00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:00,073
He can't have gotten far.
228
00:09:00,108 --> 00:09:02,642
Let's be after him.
229
00:09:03,812 --> 00:09:05,178
There he is!
230
00:09:05,247 --> 00:09:06,446
Wish thief!
231
00:09:06,514 --> 00:09:06,813
Aah!
232
00:09:06,848 --> 00:09:08,180
You're under arrest!
233
00:09:08,249 --> 00:09:10,516
And now it's my
turn to make a wish.
234
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,150
Arrest this kid.
235
00:09:11,185 --> 00:09:12,985
Okay. You're under arrest.
236
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:15,720
And also, I wish that, one day,
when you're actually dying,
237
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:19,090
that you look back on all
the people that you screwed
238
00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:22,727
over and you feel
really bad about it.
239
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:24,162
I mean real bad.
240
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:24,896
Arrest him.
241
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,865
- Again?
- Nope.
242
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:28,634
Keep going with the one
that you're doing.
243
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:33,706
You're all the
way under arrest.
244
00:09:36,945 --> 00:09:38,778
My Lola.
245
00:09:41,016 --> 00:09:45,585
Oh, Glenn.
246
00:09:52,861 --> 00:09:54,860
Glenn!
247
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,028
I'm ready now.
248
00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:59,598
Lola.
249
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,666
Guys, we have an announcement to make.
250
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:04,135
- Lola and I have been dating.
- Surprise!
251
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,573
The look on your faces...
It's priceless!
252
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,775
Anyway, we're moving in
together into my room.
253
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:13,511
And that leaves an
extra room in our apartment.
254
00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,947
And I found a perfect way
to use that space.
255
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,849
I know what you're thinking.
256
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:21,219
We put a TV and treadmill in there so
we can watch shows while doing cardio.
257
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,120
Oh, yeah!
258
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,554
That's a great idea!
259
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:23,955
I love it.
260
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:27,125
Well, I guess that solves
our overcrowding issue.
261
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,293
Yay!
262
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:35,301
Whoo!
263
00:10:35,336 --> 00:10:38,037
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
264
00:10:38,073 --> 00:10:40,039
Whoo! Yeah!
265
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,142
♪ I drew a picture and
painted with my fingers. ♪
266
00:10:43,211 --> 00:10:45,845
♪ You could do it, too, if you want. ♪
267
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:46,846
♪ Just come on over, ♪
268
00:10:46,881 --> 00:10:49,315
♪ be my friend, ♪
269
00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:54,653
♪ and we could do the things we do, ♪
270
00:10:54,689 --> 00:10:57,923
♪ and maybe with all the
things you know too well. ♪
271
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:02,728
♪ You're just my favorite person. ♪
272
00:11:03,667 --> 00:11:06,001
Attention, hospital staff:
You know how they say
273
00:11:06,037 --> 00:11:07,670
home is where the heart is?
274
00:11:07,738 --> 00:11:11,374
Well, in our case, the heart is
in a cooler on the third floor,
275
00:11:11,443 --> 00:11:12,542
because we're a hospital.
276
00:11:12,577 --> 00:11:14,444
That is all.