1 00:00:00,132 --> 00:00:02,422 Previously on Childrens Hospital... 2 00:00:02,542 --> 00:00:05,533 - Blake! - Blake? 3 00:00:05,653 --> 00:00:10,388 No, no, I'm not Blake. I'm his brother Sir Tinkle Button. 4 00:00:10,406 --> 00:00:13,206 You're a sellout! You're a Ronald McDonald... 5 00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:15,790 - Paint job! - Hey! 6 00:00:15,813 --> 00:00:17,375 I don't like the "P" word. 7 00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:21,582 Sync, corrected by icephoenix www.addic7ed.com 8 00:00:22,334 --> 00:00:26,114 - Is this your card? - No. 9 00:00:26,139 --> 00:00:28,516 I know. I know it's not. 10 00:00:28,540 --> 00:00:30,241 Can I have your attention, please? 11 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:31,852 I have got great news for you. 12 00:00:31,854 --> 00:00:34,888 All of you are gonna make twice as much money as you did last week. 13 00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:36,456 Yeah! 14 00:00:36,458 --> 00:00:40,894 Because you all get to work the night shift. 15 00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:41,928 What?! 16 00:00:43,765 --> 00:00:45,622 You have to work the night shift 17 00:00:45,634 --> 00:00:47,734 because we had to fire the night-shift staff. 18 00:00:47,736 --> 00:00:50,136 We caught them betting on a patient death pool. 19 00:00:50,138 --> 00:00:51,771 Wish you'd die in a pool. 20 00:00:54,243 --> 00:00:55,709 This is a thing 21 00:00:56,174 --> 00:00:58,245 you need to prepare for if you're going to work... 22 00:00:58,247 --> 00:00:59,880 Night shift. 23 00:00:59,882 --> 00:01:01,348 Oh, this is perfect timing. 24 00:01:01,350 --> 00:01:03,316 Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Veelam Geza. 25 00:01:03,318 --> 00:01:05,318 He is the night-shift supervisor. 26 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,987 He's gonna show you the ropes. 27 00:01:06,989 --> 00:01:12,959 It is my pleasures to look at your faces and make your hands shake. 28 00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:17,130 What before my wondering eyes do appear? 29 00:01:17,132 --> 00:01:18,899 Are you a little brown like me? 30 00:01:18,901 --> 00:01:21,737 Um, my mother's father is a quarter Armenian, 31 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,136 so he's a little brown. 32 00:01:23,138 --> 00:01:26,373 Well, then I would gamble a farm that your swarthy grandpapa 33 00:01:26,375 --> 00:01:28,942 had beautiful eyes and full breasts, too. 34 00:01:28,944 --> 00:01:30,110 Yes. 35 00:01:30,112 --> 00:01:32,412 Well, then, come with me... 36 00:01:32,414 --> 00:01:38,218 And let me introduce you all to the night... 37 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:39,834 Shift. 38 00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:45,325 - Nurse, more I.V. -- Stat. - More I.V. Coming up. 39 00:01:45,327 --> 00:01:48,495 But where do you want me to stick the I.V., doctor? 40 00:01:48,497 --> 00:01:51,064 We don't schedule operations at night. 41 00:01:51,066 --> 00:01:51,731 What is this? 42 00:01:51,733 --> 00:01:54,768 - What's wrong with me, Dr. Filth? - Dr. Filth? 43 00:01:54,770 --> 00:01:58,371 You have H.B.S.: Hot Boobs Syndrome. 44 00:01:58,373 --> 00:02:00,941 I'm gonna need to take your temperature with my man-ometer. 45 00:02:01,476 --> 00:02:04,911 Look how many C.C.s that man-ometer is. 46 00:02:04,913 --> 00:02:08,315 Where are you gonna stick that thing? Here? 47 00:02:08,317 --> 00:02:11,651 Here? Or in between these? 48 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:15,689 You see, this is a rectal man-ometer, so... 49 00:02:15,691 --> 00:02:16,890 Oh! Oh, yeah! 50 00:02:16,892 --> 00:02:18,925 - Oh! Oh, yeah! - Oh, my God! 51 00:02:21,239 --> 00:02:24,264 - Are you nuts? Hold it! - Whoa! Cut! 52 00:02:24,266 --> 00:02:24,531 Cut! 53 00:02:24,533 --> 00:02:28,201 - What is your problem, man?! - I said you could use the supply closet. 54 00:02:28,203 --> 00:02:31,271 I said you could use the morgue. I didn't say anything about the O.R. 55 00:02:31,273 --> 00:02:35,241 Yeah, and I told you we shoot where we want, or you don't get paid. 56 00:02:35,243 --> 00:02:38,178 Make sure my stupid brother doesn't find out about this, either, okay? 57 00:02:38,180 --> 00:02:40,880 Your brother is Blake, right? 58 00:02:40,882 --> 00:02:44,351 Yeah. 59 00:02:44,353 --> 00:02:46,753 I just sense something -- 60 00:02:46,755 --> 00:02:49,889 A presence I haven't smelled in a long, long time. 61 00:02:49,891 --> 00:02:53,960 What you are seeing with your eyes' balls is humanity's dregs. 62 00:02:53,962 --> 00:02:55,417 I can't believe I have to say this, sir, 63 00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:56,896 but you can't shoot your son with a crossbow. 64 00:02:56,898 --> 00:02:58,398 Well, tell him to stop eating my candy. 65 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,600 It reminds me of the war in my home country. 66 00:03:00,602 --> 00:03:02,702 You ever see anyone get killed? 67 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:05,939 Only the whole entirety of my family's people. 68 00:03:05,941 --> 00:03:08,874 I was in the hospital, saving lives for babies, 69 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,276 when I heard the shots. 70 00:03:10,278 --> 00:03:12,779 The rebels had come down from the hills. 71 00:03:12,781 --> 00:03:15,880 By the time I had run with my foots and toes home, 72 00:03:15,892 --> 00:03:18,785 the rebels had killed with guns and swords 73 00:03:18,787 --> 00:03:22,455 my children and parents and even my wife. 74 00:03:22,457 --> 00:03:26,326 So what did you do? 75 00:03:26,328 --> 00:03:29,367 Using my bare hands covered only in skin, 76 00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:33,333 I dug holes and put my family's body insides of them. 77 00:03:33,335 --> 00:03:34,701 Oh, my God. 78 00:03:34,703 --> 00:03:38,038 I pour premium unleaded gasoline on top 79 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,440 and let the flames lick my face like puppies dog. 80 00:03:40,442 --> 00:03:42,375 This just got super-dark. 81 00:03:42,377 --> 00:03:45,779 For ten days, I went into state of blackout rage and 82 00:03:45,781 --> 00:03:50,083 became killing machine like "Rambo" or "Rambo 2." 83 00:03:50,085 --> 00:03:52,318 I am wet. 84 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,155 Now I will show you the night nursery. 85 00:03:55,157 --> 00:03:57,590 Because I love-a da babies! 86 00:04:09,271 --> 00:04:11,237 Hey, there, crying lady. 87 00:04:11,239 --> 00:04:14,474 You're super-sexy and full of self-loathing: A killer combo. 88 00:04:14,476 --> 00:04:17,677 How about I make you a thousandaire? 89 00:04:27,389 --> 00:04:28,755 I knew it. 90 00:04:28,757 --> 00:04:32,459 I thought I smelled chardonnay, sweat, and menthol cigarettes. 91 00:04:32,461 --> 00:04:35,762 What's that smell? I think it's arrogance mixed with sarcasm. 92 00:04:35,764 --> 00:04:36,863 If only I could bottle it. 93 00:04:36,865 --> 00:04:38,965 Well, then, by your logic, it smells sweet. 94 00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:41,835 Okay, so why would I make it, if no one wants to buy... 95 00:04:41,837 --> 00:04:43,703 - Yeah. - Fine. 96 00:04:43,705 --> 00:04:45,638 You've bested me at wordplay. 97 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:47,902 But there's one thing you can't beat me at: 98 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:51,344 Making money off of things that you don't approve of. 99 00:04:51,346 --> 00:04:54,748 I'm shooting a porno in your hospital. 100 00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:56,783 What are you up to, Tinkle Button? 101 00:04:56,785 --> 00:05:00,019 I just -- I just told you. I'm shooting a porno in the hospital. 102 00:05:00,021 --> 00:05:03,690 Mm. 103 00:05:03,692 --> 00:05:06,459 I'll figure it out. 104 00:05:06,461 --> 00:05:08,795 It's only 11:30? I'm so ti-ti. 105 00:05:08,797 --> 00:05:09,763 I am not. 106 00:05:09,765 --> 00:05:12,098 I'm always on Eastern European time. 107 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:15,435 Hoo! I am full-moon horny tonight! 108 00:05:15,437 --> 00:05:16,536 Hey. 109 00:05:16,538 --> 00:05:18,838 - Is this your card? - No. 110 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,106 No, it's not. 111 00:05:20,108 --> 00:05:21,875 - Hey. - What? 112 00:05:21,877 --> 00:05:25,945 I know just what we need to make it through the night shift. 113 00:05:31,457 --> 00:05:33,753 All right, you screw-heads! That's a wrap! 114 00:05:34,890 --> 00:05:36,723 Et tu, Brute? 115 00:05:36,725 --> 00:05:38,825 That means "And you?" 116 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:41,294 Blake, I'm just raising money for the hospital. 117 00:05:41,296 --> 00:05:43,163 Out! I'm ashamed of you! 118 00:05:43,165 --> 00:05:44,197 Get out of here! 119 00:05:44,199 --> 00:05:44,931 All of you! 120 00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:47,133 - Take five. - Doctors wear shirts! 121 00:05:47,135 --> 00:05:49,636 And you -- 122 00:05:49,638 --> 00:05:50,370 Joanna! 123 00:05:50,372 --> 00:05:51,638 Hey, it's Blake. 124 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:55,975 Yeah, my Nana volunteers with your grandma at the library on Saturdays. 125 00:05:55,977 --> 00:05:57,911 - Oh. - Yeah, yeah! 126 00:05:57,913 --> 00:05:59,512 So, what are you doing at a porn shoot? 127 00:05:59,514 --> 00:06:03,283 Oh, um... I forget. 128 00:06:03,285 --> 00:06:06,386 - A D.P. - A D.P., huh? 129 00:06:06,388 --> 00:06:07,620 That sounds crazy. 130 00:06:07,622 --> 00:06:10,523 Do you need a swimsuit for a D.P.? 131 00:06:10,525 --> 00:06:14,294 - It's double [Bleep] - What?! 132 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:23,136 Hi. I'm sorry our movie made you cry. 133 00:06:23,138 --> 00:06:27,040 It's okay. Come here. 134 00:06:27,042 --> 00:06:30,810 It's okay. It's okay. Shh. Let the poison out. 135 00:06:31,713 --> 00:06:33,746 The kid in room 4 is crashing! 136 00:06:33,748 --> 00:06:37,083 Dr. Spratt, nurse, grab the kid and meet me there. 137 00:06:37,085 --> 00:06:38,852 I'm on it! 138 00:06:38,854 --> 00:06:41,321 Nurse, hurry up! 139 00:06:41,323 --> 00:06:42,589 Diet pills? 140 00:06:42,591 --> 00:06:43,723 I knew you were fat. 141 00:06:43,725 --> 00:06:45,658 These are speed, you dumbass. 142 00:06:45,660 --> 00:06:47,293 Give me some of these. 143 00:06:47,295 --> 00:06:49,462 Hey, maybe I'll finally start writing that novel tonight. 144 00:06:49,464 --> 00:06:52,398 I'm gonna punch a kid's appendix right out of his body! 145 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,400 - Let's roll! - Aaah!! 146 00:06:55,637 --> 00:06:57,203 The sun is dead! 147 00:06:57,205 --> 00:06:59,205 Long live the night team! 148 00:06:59,207 --> 00:06:59,873 Hyah! 149 00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:02,876 It's bad enough that you've defiled this hospital, 150 00:07:02,878 --> 00:07:06,412 but somehow, you've roped in my Nana's best friend's granddaughter! 151 00:07:06,414 --> 00:07:08,348 I also happen to be a famous porn star. 152 00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:10,283 You are such a clown. 153 00:07:10,285 --> 00:07:12,785 You better mean clown in the sense that we are both 154 00:07:12,787 --> 00:07:14,354 clowns with the makeup and so forth! 155 00:07:14,356 --> 00:07:17,177 No. I meant it in the idiomatic sense: 156 00:07:17,191 --> 00:07:20,627 That you're foolish, a hapless, silly individual. 157 00:07:20,629 --> 00:07:23,096 You clown of a bitch! 158 00:07:23,098 --> 00:07:25,098 We're losing him, Dr. Spratt! 159 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,699 - Nurse, give this child C.P.R.! - What? 160 00:07:26,701 --> 00:07:28,368 - Hurry up! - But I'm not -- 161 00:07:28,370 --> 00:07:31,204 Do it! Hurry, nurse! 162 00:07:31,206 --> 00:07:33,539 Clear! 163 00:07:33,541 --> 00:07:35,742 Doing good. Flawless technique, nurse. 164 00:07:35,744 --> 00:07:38,678 You could take a lesson, Dr. Spratt. 165 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:39,479 Oh! 166 00:07:39,481 --> 00:07:43,082 Your face is like that of my deads wife's face. 167 00:07:43,084 --> 00:07:45,618 That's weird... And sexy. 168 00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:49,289 I want you to get me mouth-pregnant. 169 00:07:50,759 --> 00:07:53,359 Oh, yeah, cup the balls! 170 00:07:53,361 --> 00:07:55,295 Whoo! 171 00:07:55,297 --> 00:07:56,930 This is the most fun I've ever had! 172 00:07:56,932 --> 00:07:57,597 Superfun! 173 00:07:57,599 --> 00:08:00,066 - Take two. - Two more? 174 00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:06,072 - Hit me in the face. - Feel your hair! 175 00:08:06,074 --> 00:08:07,073 ♪ Superfun! ♪ 176 00:08:07,075 --> 00:08:08,174 ♪ Super-confident! ♪ 177 00:08:08,176 --> 00:08:10,143 ♪ Super-confident! Superfu-- ♪ 178 00:08:16,851 --> 00:08:17,984 Owen, wake up! 179 00:08:17,986 --> 00:08:19,986 Owen, wake up! Owen! 180 00:08:34,836 --> 00:08:37,437 - You're hitting yourself! - I'm not hitting myself! 181 00:08:37,439 --> 00:08:39,906 You know I hate little smacks! 182 00:08:39,908 --> 00:08:41,674 Aah! Aah! 183 00:08:41,676 --> 00:08:42,775 Oh, yeah! 184 00:08:42,777 --> 00:08:44,610 Owen's having a heart attack! 185 00:08:44,612 --> 00:08:49,782 - Come on! Let's move! - Come on! 186 00:08:49,784 --> 00:08:51,150 There's your nipple! 187 00:08:51,152 --> 00:08:55,788 We're coming, Owen! 188 00:08:55,790 --> 00:08:58,925 No, no, no, not today. Not today. 189 00:09:02,497 --> 00:09:04,464 - Clear. - Don't touch him! 190 00:09:04,466 --> 00:09:08,185 - Oh. - Oh, the shock killed her. 191 00:09:13,070 --> 00:09:15,453 - He's dead. - What? 192 00:09:15,477 --> 00:09:19,746 - Oh, my God. - No. 193 00:09:19,748 --> 00:09:23,716 Oh, my God! Owen's de-a-a-a-a-a-ad! 194 00:09:29,057 --> 00:09:31,424 ♪ It's the thrill ride. ♪ 195 00:09:31,426 --> 00:09:35,128 ♪ It's a little like a sky dive. ♪ 196 00:09:35,130 --> 00:09:41,734 ♪ Come alive with you. ♪ 197 00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,803 ♪ It's the spotlight. ♪ 198 00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:47,573 ♪ It's the magic in the first bite. ♪ 199 00:09:47,575 --> 00:09:51,911 ♪ If you only knew... ♪ 200 00:09:51,913 --> 00:10:02,021 ♪ The way you swoop into ♪ 201 00:10:02,023 --> 00:10:04,624 ♪ every little move. ♪ 202 00:10:04,626 --> 00:10:10,797 ♪ Come alive with you. ♪ 203 00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:12,465 ♪ Come a-- ♪ 204 00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:14,567 Delivery for Dr. Valerie Flame. 205 00:10:14,569 --> 00:10:15,601 That's me. 206 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:22,842 Ha ha! Smoke! 207 00:10:22,844 --> 00:10:25,211 But, Owen, how? 208 00:10:25,213 --> 00:10:26,879 We're carrying your dead body. 209 00:10:26,881 --> 00:10:29,015 Are you? 210 00:10:30,852 --> 00:10:35,221 - Is that your card? - Yeah. 211 00:10:37,325 --> 00:10:39,692 Oh, my God! 212 00:10:43,598 --> 00:10:45,965 Unbelievable. 213 00:10:45,967 --> 00:10:52,538 ♪ Come alive with you. ♪ 214 00:10:52,540 --> 00:10:56,017 - So, you got a baby in there? - Supposedly. 215 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:58,344 You know, if you ever want to make some extra cash, 216 00:10:58,346 --> 00:10:59,957 there's a lot of dough in preggo porn. 217 00:10:59,981 --> 00:11:02,396 Give me 10 grand and I'll jerk off a horse. 218 00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:05,478 All right. All right. 219 00:11:05,502 --> 00:11:07,111 Attention, hospital staff: 220 00:11:07,135 --> 00:11:10,159 Everyone who promised they were coming to my improv show last Friday 221 00:11:10,182 --> 00:11:12,002 and didn't is a dick.