*
BELL RINGS
Trudy, I'm off in a sec.
Night, Steve. But listen.
If I'm late tomorrow, tell Mack I'm at dentist's.
You can tell me now. Sorry, I thought you'd gone. Obviously.
See you first thing then, Steve.
There's enough here for a football team. Shift.
Oh, my God! He's bought champagne.
Hey, will you save us some? Out the way! I'm behind as it.
You too. I wanna Coke. Get one at your gran's, come on.
HORN TOOTS
In the cab. It's clocking money up! Hiya! Bugger off!
Hey! Has someone ordered a cab? What's going on? See you tomorrow. Night, Mum. Where you all off?
Gran's. Happy Anniversary.
To us.
I'm not asking for an answer.
You slept with someone, beginning of summer.
Sylv, I swear... Don't! Or I'll get my coat.
I don't want an answer because I don't want lies.
And I'm guessing I've got to work with whoever it is, so I'd rather look ignorant than stupid.
I wouldn't expect you to cope with knowing about any of my mistakes.
Mmm! Tastes good.
What mistakes? We'll just say quits.
Wipe the slate clean, start again.
Cos that's what all this is for, innit?
MUSIC PLAYS
God! Oh, where's this from?
Work.
Kev Leach.
SYLVIA LAUGHS
What's funny?
Got more body than he has.
Well, fair do's. Kev's fairly muscly, isn't he?
Chesty. Nice arse an' all.
Is it true what they reckon about Alan...whatsit, the driver?
Size of his thingy? Don't talk like that. You do. I can.
No, first guy I cheated with had a wanger this big.
Second - bit of a change - it was his bum. Tiny nipples and a bum this size.
You could nearly fit both cheeks in one bite. And his was this big?
No, no. Fairly normal on the wanger front.
Tongue like a lizard though.
I made one mistake...
and it WAS a mistake...
and it was horrible.
I'll never do it again, I swear to God.
I never wanna lose you.
If you're gonna swear to God...
swear to God you'll say it...
sober.
# Sweet heart, send me to sleep
# Pray to God our hopes to keep
# Take our fears and make us strong
# Lead us to where we belong
# And let it all go by... #
What are you doing? Oh, no! Don't move! We're not moving.
Don't move! It's all right. OK.
OK. Shut up.
Now, where's the money? You're standing on it.
You've got the money.
Just go.
OK?
Just go.
You bastard!
Don't stop! >
LAUGHING
It's not that cold, is it?
SIRENS WAIL
Leather, plastic...rubber?
Leather. Like driving gloves. You saw a lot when the lights were out.
I had his arm trapped in a door. I must've hurt him. Bloody hell!
Can't you check the hospitals? Look, revise all that. If you assaulted him, he could sue you.
It's cockeyed, I know, but... sad fact. Sarge? What you got?
How long you lived round here? Three years. You work?
Yeah. I'm a factory supervisor.
How else do you think I live here? I don't know, Steve, you tell me.
So?
What really happened here? I've said. What're you on about?
Listen, WE'VE just been robbed at knife-point, yeah?
What d'you think happened? A bit of draw. Chicken and egg. Which came first? D'you know this fella? What?
You knew him. Are you in some kinda deal with him? Listen, you thick bastard! Steve! Just calm down!
All right! Book him.
No forced entry, It's dark in there. You couldn't see him properly.
But he's...Caucasian?
White, yes. He had blue eyes.
I saw his eyes in the hallway mirror as he went through the front door.
All for half ounce of blow and a roach he found. This is ludicrous!
It was my anniversary, you daft sod! Steve, cut it out.
You arrest him for this much! Three kids in that house and he's messing with drugs. The kids are at my mum's.
Drugs?! Its just a bit of blow. They know bugger all about it.
They've never... Ecstasy tablets, middle bedroom, third drawer down. Your 16-year-old son's bedroom.
So where did this come from?
Either they're his and we drag him in. Or you hid 'em there.
In which case, it's more than personal use. Which are we going for, Steve?
I don't believe this is happening.
Oh, but it is.
CAR APPROACHES
Go OK?
Yeah, cos they never washed up.
- Where's Mum? - I was gonna go to school from Gran's, but I've left me homework.
Where's the telly gone?
Outside...now!
Where? They're not mine, I bought 'em for Moxey and Stringer.
Where? Dad, they're not mine.
Jake, I've never hit you, but I will if you don't bloody tell me.
WHERE?
Work.
Oh, Steve. Steve!
If the valances aren't ready, do you want us to start on fitted sheets...?
# So horny, I'm horny, horny, horny
# So horny, I'm horny... #
He's 16, you brainless bastard! Who is? My son!
Listen, I'll hurt you, so don't try it. I dunno what you're on about! You sold E's to Jake. Sold what?
Have they said that? Bring him here and ask him.
Bit of blow, now and again. And the only Robinson I sold any of that to is you! Get your facts right! Here.
Just put your foot on there. Forget it. No, really. Put your foot there.
God!
What is it? A dislocated knuckle.
Just give it a belt, please!
Aaargh!
Has it worked? Does it usually?
I don't care if you "only did it once".
If I ever catch you with it at work - selling it, taking it or showing it off - you won't just be sacked.
I'll march you to the police station meself! I want you in this office, first thing every morning.
You'll show me what's in your bag. You won't find anythin', I promise.
You're not gonna make me ask, you're gonna show me, aren't you, Lynette? Yeah.
Your dad can frisk you before work.
Now vanish, the pair of you.
I'm glad neither of 'em belongs to me.
What?
When last year? We were going off to Cyprus - Easter.
Easter. Caught him thieving bedding bails. I caught him. I sacked him.
Stocky fella? Blue eyes.
Ronson? Johnson?
Ronstadt! Kim Ronstadt. Mack was gonna prosecute till he worked out how much a case would've cost us.
Kim Ronstadt. What about him?
Oi! Twat!
DOORBELL RINGS
Hiya. Is Kim in? Hang on. ..Kim! For you.
Come here, you shit! Out! D'you know what he's done? Are you breaking in?
One more step, it'll be assault.
DOOR SLAMS
It's him. He's in there... Oh, it's you. Yeah, the one did our house last night, the one with the knife.
You just phoned us? Yeah. So's she. Reporting you for loitering. Kim Ronstadt. He robbed our house.
He used to work for Mackintosh. I'm a supervisor there. I sacked him. That's how...how I knew his voice!
You're sure about that? I'm sure. Right, stay there. I know this one.
Keep out of it, OK? You should've rung us earlier. Four-five.
Require assistance for apprehension of suspect. Over.
Ow!
Sylvia, get your things. We've arrested somebody. Can you try to pick him out?
Where's Steve? Down the station. Why didn't you say what happened last night? It got complicated.
Has my husband picked one out? Look at their faces. Take your time. It's your shout, Sylvia.
Number 5.
"Don't move. Where's your money?"
Number 3.
"Don't move. Where's your...?" Sorry, I swallowed me chewing gum.
"Don't move. Where's your money?"
You can all go,
except number 4.
Possession of drugs. Thanks, Steve!
It was our anniversary. We've been...recently, so I cooked a meal, we talked things through.
We smoked...a spliff and patched things up like teenagers. What harm were we doing? You've been charged.
Mack, it was THIS much, I promise you, it was this much.
You earn more than anybody on that shop floor. You earn the extra for "respect", for God's sakes.
It's going to court. My name gets dragged into this. How's that?
"Steven Robinson, 36, a production supervisor for Mackintosh Textiles,
"was convicted of drug abuse..." This much!
And we're THIS close to losing the Johnsons' contract already!
Competition's bad enough without me sticking my neck out for you, Steve.
You're not sacking me?! Oh, Jesus, Mack!
Please, you can't do this!
You two-faced bastard!
I've peeled you up after works do's and driven you home because you couldn't remember your own address!
For what?
If... If you say you're unemployed, and that's all that's in the papers,
and if we keep the Johnsons' order... How'd you know the copper? And if...
How do you know the copper? ..and if you keep your arm or hooter clean, there might be a job for you here.
His wife's a manager at the bank. So shut your mouth, behave yourself and you might stand a chance. OK?
You're not the only one with a tricky marriage. It's no excuse.
TANNOY: Freda Wilson to the office, please. Freda Wilson to the office.
Gran says we can have that telly from her back room. We can do without a telly for now.
I don't mind picking it up. You could give us a hand. Can we?
OK. After you've done the washing-up.
DOORBELL BUZZES
Hiya, is your dad in?
You are?
Martin and Kev from work.
Hiya. Hiya. What's up? Look...
I'm guessing here - you got the boot? Yeah?
Oh, no!
I can't believe this! If you need Kev to say he slipped you a bit. NOT sold. But you'll tell 'em that much.
They have to. Hey! We could blame Babs. Well, girlfriend.
She hasn't worked a day in her life. What can they do to her?
Joke! It wasn't. Mack's not gonna drag this out, is he? He can't leave Freda Wilson supervising for long.
Is that who he's replaced me with?
Oh, Jesus!
There's the mortgage, finance on the car...
God!
DOORBELL BUZZES
Hiya, Sylvia! Didn't recognise you with your clothes on. How'ya doin'?
Steve!
What? What?
You all right? Yeah. Sure?
I'll kill you, you bastard! Not from there you won't.
Got the time on you, mate?
Fried or boiled? Listen to me, shitface. You tell Ronstadt from me that when I see him...
Oi!
You got a job yet, Kim? We can take this bunch of tossers.
When I get you on your own, you're a dead man, Ronstadt.
Yeah, yeah.
Sleep well, Robinson.
He can do that and walk the streets? Is that all the protection we get?
Whether Ronstadt gets bail's not up to me. I want him arrested. We won't get fingerprints off that brick.
I'll complain about you. Forget it. People like you shouldn't wear that.
And you shouldn't tell other people what's "normal". We make a right pair, don't we? Look...
OK. The night I came to your house, I got you wrong.
You got me wrong. OK?
I didn't arrest you for anything you didn't do. I'm not that kinda bobby.
I know your boss. He speaks highly of you. So I'm 'OK' now because my boss says I am?
You're a joke, pal. Steve!
I'll have that bastard's job. He started this. Ronstadt first, him second. If anything did, she did.
Who's she? I don't know, you haven't told me yet, Steve. Christ, Syvlia!
If you hadn't been apologising and cooking, we'd never have ended up in bed and never have been burgled.
It's my fault! You only remembered this anniversary for YOU.
It's MY fault Ronstadt did us over. Thanks!
Anniversaries are no big deal. No! I said that, because YOU forget 'em!
I looked a prat 'cos I was the only one buying presents, while you organised collections at work.
Pat's birthday, Yvonne's fire, somebody leaving. You remember everybody else's! All right!
What was in this anniversary for me? You got to wipe the slate clean.
We did. We buried it. You said you forgave me. So why bring it up now? Cos I want to know who she is? No.
I WANT TO KNOW! No. You OK, love? She's fine, we're married, we're having a row. D'you mind?
Are you gonna tell me or not? What good will it do? Sylvia. Get off me! If she wants to go, let her go.
What you doin'?
Nothin'.
Sorry I screwed things up. I swear I never took anythin'. I bought 'em for Moxey... Moxey's the thick one.
He's a bit... Thick! ..ish.
But not as thick as you if he can get somebody else to buy it for him.
What's scarier... you knew where to get it.
Everybody does! You're not everybody, Jake.
I'm sorry.
Good!
Name. Steven Robinson.
Date of birth?
22nd January, 1964.
On the charge of possession of a class A restricted substance, how do you plead as charged?
Guilty.
My client is prepared to submit to a blood test to prove
that the only substance he's used is cannabis in minute proportions.
That would prove nothing except that the ecstasy...
My client is also prepared to submit bank accounts to show
that his debts and expenditure are proportionate to the salaries...
Yeah? Is it a pain keeping 'em clean? Keeping what clean?
BREAKING GLASS
Them. Oh, God! What...! Tell Kim I said hiya. What the...?!
Kim! Kim!
This is YOU, this is!
Nice one, Cameron. You should be on the five-a-side.
Mack won't touch me till I lose weight.
What did you get, Steve? 500 quid, suspended sentence.
Tough shit, mate.
Why's everybody so chuffed he got off? It IS drugs we're talking here.
£500 and a suspended sentence.
Whisky? I can't drink that. Get it down you! I can't. Can't I just have lager and lime? Right.
I'm not just being a miserable cow. He's management and I don't see what's clever about celebrating it.
Ronstadt? Oh, I know, yeah!
Used to go with Angela Womack?
Dunno.
He did, he's a creep.
Mind you, Angela's into wacky.
Hiya.
Hiya, Angela!
So what happens about the bloke who robbed you? We testify and hopefully he goes down. You nervous?
No chance. I can't wait... Yeah, nervous.
Steve, Brian reckons he could sort you today. What's it gonna cost me?
Depends. I just want an alarm. Yeah, but, "just takin' the piss" or Fort Knox. I wanna know if anybody's near.
How many bedrooms? Four.
400. 400 quid? I could get a security firm for that!
All right.
You've got main access sensors, front and back, keypad at the front door...
- Pint there for you, Steve. - Bell-box, you get what you pay for.
Brilliant timing, mate. I missed with the first one, hit the dustbin.
All right, 250. Hang on, hang on.
What're you on about, Kev? Got a drink, Steve? What's been going on?
It had nothing to do with me. You encouraged 'em. I hadn't a clue they were...
How come I get all the blame? Look, I didn't start this! Ronstadt started this!
But you can't resist finishing it! None of it's your fault, is it, Steve? Nothing ever is!
DOORBELL BUZZES
Don't open it! Don't open it.
OK.
Hiya, Mack.
Have I come at a bad time?
Come on, Freda.
Talk and work.
Steve. It's running too fast. It's not me. Look, it just keeps rouching.
Sylvia OK? Fine. Why? She looks knackered.
I don't think I'd dare go home if that happened to me. She's all right.
Now look, what you need to do...
MUSIC DROWNS OUT DIALOGUE
Steve.
Steve!
What was that?
Go to sleep.
BURGLAR ALARM RINGS
It's OK.
Go on, up you come. Dad. Dad!
CAR ALARM BLARES
Hey!
HORN TOOTS
I'll call the police! Don't! Hold on a minute, don't call the police!
If anybody did that to me, I wouldn't wait to get 'em in court.
No, you'd take your mam round there. Start waving your circuit-tester.
It's different for Steve.
Cos he's black?
Steve's not black. He can't sing, he can't play football. And the only time he skins up, he causes a riot.
And he's management. He's a stiff. He's nowhere near black!
If you heard Steve'd been having an affair, would you tell me? No.
My sake or his? I just wouldn't. What good would it do?
No. Cos he's management?
No. He'll tell me.
He hasn't yet...
Julie...but he will.
What'ya saying it like that for? How else do you want it saying?
What?!
Sylvia, get off me! I'm sick of being made a bloody fool of!
You two-faced cow! Get off me!
Sylvia, for Christ's sake! What's the matter with you?
Get off her! Get off her!
Sylvia, you're wrong. Leave it out! Liar! Why can't you just admit it?
Sylvia, let go of her!
If you want him, have him! But just admit it! Jesus!
Julie had nothing to do with it. Do you hear me?
Get her out of here. Julie, shut up.
Right. Back to work.
Robbo, cutting room, now. Get off!
Mum! Back to work, all of you, before Mack finds out. Come on!
Brilliant! It's given me an 'ard on.
She just came at me.
To do with what? Talk to Steve.
If you know it's not Julie, then you know who it is. Talk to Steve.
He swore to me, Trudy. It wasn't anybody I had to work with.
Maybe he's telling the truth.
BANGING
..Use the other! Let me in!
How come SHE knows who you slept with and I don't?
I can't walk through that sewing room another day thinking someone's looking at me all the time
You're making a total bloody fool of me and I want to... Katherine.
What?
Katherine Mackintosh.
Mack's wife?
Oh, my God!
If you really wanna hurt me back, Sylvia, go and tell him.
But that's your job, my job, Jake's job.
That's all we've got.
I think one of you two'd best apologise to Julie.
Julie knew what she was up for.
Mooching round you all the time. She's not the only one. I watch 'em do it and I watch you let 'em.
For your information, Sylvia, Julie's more likely to try mooching round you than him.
CLINKING
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
HORNS TOOT
Sylvia?
Don't do this.
You've forgiven me once.
It's not like you caught me in the middle of something. I told you.
That's because you knew I knew.
And I bet you didn't start THAT, either, did you, Steve?
For the record, no. But I'm not the only bloke Mack's wife screwed around with. I'm way down the line.
You talk to Trudy if you want the truth about Katherine Mackintosh.
Tell her I told you to ask.
ICE-CREAM VAN JINGLE: "Teddy Bear's Picnic"
Jake, innit? What're you doin' round here? I'm just... Honest,
I didn't know you lived round here. I walked me mate home. I...
Get the police! Get the police!
If Kim Ronstadt had never been in this house and done what he did that night, would you still go?
If we hadn't had all this shit, would you still go? I don't know.
Katherine Mackintosh isn't worth chucking 19 years away for.
Subtract her and the rest is just... weird.
We've never had to go through weird before. We've managed to avoid that.
And we've got all this, for Christ's sakes!
Once Ronstadt's put away, all the shit's gonna disappear.
If you've absolutely made up your mind - and, please, don't -
I'd say, "Right, yeah, we call it all my fault."
But if you're not sure, Sylvia, I beg you, stop and go over things.
It's not me.
It's not all me.
You know, if it wasn't her, it might've been somebody else.
It won't. How do I know? How do YOU?
Because I've tried it and it does nothing for me.
Nothing does it for me like you do it when I know you're interested.
Which isn't always.
Two-way traffic, Steve.
I get months dragging on when all you've done for me is make me feel like a...parent.
I don't feel sexy, I don't feel funny.
I don't feel interesting...
not to you.
I'm just three kids and payday.
Well, that's what the anniversary was all about! Not Katherine bloody Mackintosh!
I wanted a bit of you and me.
You were never funny.
I was funny.
You were sexy...and interesting.
You still are...a lot.
What'ya doin' round here?
I just wanted to talk to you, Kim, that's all. Yeah?
You started this! Yeah. Me dad nearly lost his job cos of you! Your dad's a loudmouthed prick.
Leave us alone! Why can't your dad do his own errands? He doesn't know I'm here. You scrapped the car.
Why can't you leave it at that? They stitched him for 500 quid. He's got a record. Yeah?
Security caught you nicking. If Dad hadn't sacked you, Mack would have. Mack's one thing, your dad's another.
Your mam and dad ID'd Kim.
They're saying he robbed your house. That never happened.
Well, no. They could've made a mistake.
It was dark. They couldn't really tell.
Tell 'em they've got till Monday to UN-identify him. Yeah?
I will, OK. I swear. I'll say, "It was dark, how can you be sure you got the right bloke?"
They can't, can they? How can they? Tell your dad, the last time he saw Kim was when he gave him his P45.
Yeah. Yeah? I will.
And your mam. I will.
Kim, don't.
Please, don't. Don't, Kim, Please! Kim! I've never done nothin' to you.
Please, Kim!
See you down there, Jake.
SIREN WAILS
What's the matter, son?
This lad's been cut. ..Black male, late teens.
It's not mine. Drop the weapon! It's not mine!
# Sweet heart, the sun has set
# All red and primitive above our heads
# Bloodstained on an ageless sky
# Wipe your tears and let the salt stains dry
# Let them all run dry
# All run dry. #
DOOR SLAMS
Mack's wife - sneaky bitch! She comes early just cos he's enjoying himself!
Mack!
We could've been at that petrol station in two minutes.
She's an out-and-out and out-and-out COW! Never done a day's work!
And shaggin' anything that moves!
I'm meeting Suzy. I just wanna hook.
You bitch! You selfish, rotten bitch!
Fine! But I've done nothing wrong, Mack. I don't just want a bloke!
But I love her! I know you do.
Subtitles by Roger Young BBC Scotland - 2000