Let's get on the bus!
LAUGHTER
Whoo-oo-oo!
Back seat, back seat! No, these are taken!
We're saving this one for Freda. She needs the aisle. Footballer's knee.
TV IS ON
'What are your fashion predictions? Body warmers will be in and pedal pushers will be out.
'I think you should just be original and not follow everything, because you never know what'll be in...'
Come 'ere. Hold me hand.
SHE RINGS DOORBELL
Carol, tell her thanks a lot! I should've left 15 minutes ago. Who?
Our Lyndsay. She's not here. When did she go? Last time I saw her was February. She owed me 20 quid.
I had a go at her. She left. She doesn't know anyone else round here. Not surprising, if she does that.
Come on.
Where are we going? We're going back home.
- Why aren't we going to Mum's house? - Stop asking questions.
Have you got your mobile on you? No.
Can I borrow your mobile? Why don't you get one of your own?
Cos I can't afford it and I don't want brain damage. Well, you won't want mine. It's cheap and lethal.
Gemma's got whisky. Has she?
PHONE RINGS
Yeah?
What the hell are you doing at home? We're waiting to go, Freda!
Our Lyndsay hasn't come home. Well, where is she? I don't know.
I'll kill her, Julie. She's not gonna do this to me twice. You'll have to go without me.
SHE SOBS
# Can't throw your grannie off the bus... #
Whoo-whoo!
# No, you can't throw your grannie off the bus... #
Whoo-whoo!
# Oh, you can't throw your grannie cos she's mammy's... #
What you doing? Why haven't you gone?
Has she shown up? Sort yourself out. I'll be a minute.
They're both in my bed.
What're you gonna do? I'll have to sleep down here. No, I mean, something might've happened to her.
Last time, I had the police out. They took a photo to stick in the paper.
She turned up on the Tuesday saying she'd been in a car accident in Cheetham Hill.
I said, "But you were supposed to be working at the Irish Club."
She just went ballistic, giving me a mouthful about not trusting her.
Arm in a sling on the Tuesday. By weekend, she was back at the club like it never happened. Bloody hell!
She's left nothing behind. They've not even got pyjamas.
Dumps her own kids, without even...
Where's the husband?
Can I get a drink of water?
Chips and curry twice, and chips and gravy, please.
Salt and vinegar? Yes, please.
Need forks? No, thanks. Chips and curry, dressed like that, and no forks!
MAN LAUGHS
YOU go to bed smelling of fish. What's HE laughing for?
Wide awake now, aren't you?
Are you sure it's not dangerous? Nah. I've done it lots of times.
Jesus, no! Gary, come down!
Gary! I'm all right, Nan. Come down, Gary!
Go on.
Oh!
MUSIC THROBS IN A NEIGHBOUR'S FLAT
When did she go before?
You were babies. It wasn't for long, though.
Oh-h!
She has been taking 'em. Well, they're not with her now, are they?
Get your pyjamas and some games.
Tell her she'll need to get a sick note in.
She's got an appointment later. She hasn't been to the doctor's, but she knows it's tonsillitis? Yeah.
No.
Yes, she's had it before. And she can phone you, but not me?
LOUD MUSIC PLAYS
Tony.
Oh, look who it isn't!
Can I talk to you?
I'm gonna have to finish this, or I'm gonna get pasted. Freda, you're bang in the way. Go the bar.
So, where do I come into it? They're your kids. It's debatable.
Not that you'd know 'em. I didn't get access. You never paid her. Cos I didn't have access.
Not drunk at two in the morning, no. Or whatever. Well, I can't have 'em.
I'm crashed at a mate's flat. I'm working. I can't look after 'em.
Anyway, his landlord's kicking him out, so I don't know how long I'm there for. Come on, Tony, you're on!
I'm gonna need money for a child minder. Ring Benefits. You'll be entitled to all sorts, at your age.
If I ring Benefits, they'll involve Social Services. Problem solved. They'll be after you for thousands.
I'll make sure they are. Like I said, I never know where I'm living. Only took me an hour or so to find you.
You're getting on me tits now, Freda.
They say, look at the bride's mother if you wanna see the future.
Any wonder I legged it?
Don't you talk to me like that, creep!
If you didn't want kids, you should never've had 'em. You make me sick!
Where's she off? I thought we were playing cards!
Not in the mood, obviously.
Yeah, but she's got the cards.
Julie!
Reckon they'll fit? Steve!
No, I just... I'm only testing what... This is from the waste skip, so I haven't used anything...
Company materials, company power.
What's it meant to be?
Pyjamas and a nightie.
Freda's grandkids... OK, I didn't see you. I swear to God, I've done 'em in me lunch break. I can tell.
Mmm. Your throat looks really bad from here, Freda. It's all a bit of a mess, to be honest, Mack.
I'll be back in as soon as I can.
Come here.
You all right? Yeah, we're fine thanks, mate. ..You have got a spare, haven't you?
In the boot. Could you help her get the spare out? Thanks, pal. No trouble.
Great cars, these. I had one myself for years, never let me down.
They cost nothing to fix. There's not many you can say that about. Has it got air in it? Looks OK.
Me bag!
He's got me bag off the back seat!
How do you know your daughter's not in a ditch somewhere? She isn't. Have you told the police? She isn't.
Unless you go to the authorities... They'll whip the kids into care. Don't you look at me like that.
We can't all live like you do. I'll WALK 'em home. Freda, don't be daft.
Hop in.
Come on.
What hours CAN you do?
9.30's the earliest I could get in. Until I can sort some after-school, I'd have to clock off by 2.30.
I'll have to get somebody in part-time to bookend you. That messes you about. Well, yeah.
Make sure you get the spare tyre fixed and change your locks. Your address is bound to be in your bag.
Here's £100 sub. I'll deduct it from your wages when you're back full time. Take it.
See you tomorrow?
Day after?
Can you give us two days?
Yeah, OK. I'll see you.
Come on, let Mack get home.
Thanks, Mack.
Come on, hurry up!
Stop sulking! Come on.
# I wanna see... Mama told me not to come
# Mama told me not to come... #
I don't really like this. You don't really have a choice.
CRIMEWATCH IS ON TV
You don't have to go out in 'em. Cheers.
Do you mind if I just wear the bottoms?
And no talking. I could hear you till gone eleven last night.
- He says we're getting bunk beds. - I told you not to tell her. I don't know if we are yet.
Straight to sleep.
"Solid pine bunk beds, immaculate condition, quality Ikea mattresses. £150, ono."
Go on.
"Beech-effect bunk beds, will collapse as two singles, need new mattresses..."
"Beech effect". That's like "nearly plastic".
Here we go. "Pine bunk beds, quality sprung mattresses. £325, or £10.85 a week."
What's the delivery?
Three weeks! I can't sleep on that sofa three more nights, never mind three weeks.
I'll lend you the money if you want the ones in Loot. No.
Have a look in me handbag. What?
There's an Abbey National book. Have a look how much I've saved. I don't want to know. Just look.
Where's all this from? Wages.
Since when? Well, I haven't got a life, Freda. Me mum only takes 25 a week off me.
I know what kind of life I'd have with this much! What's £675, June 18th?
I booked a holiday. Right.
Lanzarote.
Right. Who with?
On me own.
Right.
I'm not showing off. Just borrow what you think you can pay back. I'm not in a hurry.
Can we get anything? Headboards.
Hiya. Hiya.
Can you manage that?
Is there any petrol money in this?
No, Kev. Swearword, "Favour". No, shifting the gear's the favour. Who's covering petrol? You are.
Oh, good lad. Cheers. Cheers.
What do they call you? Gary. Could you pass us that Allen key, Gary?
Thanks. Which one's gonna be yours, Gary? Top one! Good lad.
Never let girls sleep on top. They get too bossy. Gary, his wife's got him round her little finger.
Sure. He drives a clapped-out old van and she drives an S-reg Micra.
A clapped-out van's better than a soft-top Golf. Soft-top GTI, classic motor.
Gay. Stylish. Closet.
# ..spy on me, baby, use satellite
# Infrared to see me move through the night
# Aim, gonna fire, shoot me right
# I'm gonna like the way you fight. # And I love the way you fight.
# Now you've found the secret code I use
# To wash away my lonely blues, well
# So I can't deny or lie, cos you're the only one to make me fly... #
I know what you are. You are... # Sex bomb, sex bomb
# You're my sex bomb
# You can give it to me when I need to come along
# Sex bomb, sex bomb You're my sex bomb
# And baby, you can turn me on
# Sex bomb, sex bomb You're my sex bomb... #
Don't pull 'em. Just take the weight. I am taking the weight.
Keep going.
Wait!
Ready...
- Wo-oh! - What d'you think?
Brilliant! Tops!
- OK, test drive. - YEAH-EAH! I'm on top!
Any talking tonight, I'm gonna take 'em apart and send 'em back.
Yeah, sure! I will! Now say thanks to Julie for giving me a hand.
Thanks, Julie. Bigger than that.
BOTH: Thanks, Julie!
I could've just opened a window. Like, hot air goes sideways! It goes upwards. And what's upwards? Kids!
Anyway, you should've packed in at your age. YOU smoke! Half what you do, and I'm a lot younger.
Sod off. I could go under a bus tomorrow. If you did, nobody'd want your lungs. I'm not offering.
Did you see much of the kids before?
Not as much as I wanted to. She'd arrange to come for tea, and then "forget".
I know she's your daughter, but I want to punch her lights out.
Morning.
What is it? Dinosaur. Why've they made 'em look like dinosaurs if they're made of chicken?
Chicken?
Don't you like chicken? I don't know. But you like dinosaurs? Yeah.
We're having dinosaurs. If you can find a pan, you can open the beans.
They look all right cooked, don't they? Yeah, sure!
Hey!
Is that what you do for a living? Qualified machinist, yeah. I work at Mackintosh. Oh, right.
Since I were 16. They look bought. I know. I'm dead chuffed with 'em.
You wouldn't mind if I used the same fabric. Give over! Compliment!
Freda!
How much of it did you eat? Of the dinosaur?
- Just the head. Oh, Jesus! - What're you doing?
"DO NOT COOK FROM FROZEN". I only bought 'em this morning.
YOu got 'em out the bloody freezer box! I could've poisoned 'em.
The freezer box doesn't work. It never has.
Thanks. Come on.
It's raining.
Why didn't you come in? I'm barred.
What for? Well, not barred.
I'm just not welcome.
Woman opposite wanted to know how much I'd paid for them curtains. I told her they cost me 45 to make.
She wants a pair doing. Well, you can't. I said yeah. Why not?
I nicked the... I nicked the fabric from work. So?
If we're caught, we're dead. Ideally, she wants the same fabric.
Ideally, she'll get what she's bleedin' given.
What's this?
Stick it in your bag. Sod off! Put it in yours. I can't.
It's full of bobbins of cotton. Not full ones, they're half-used.
Don't be soft. They won't be missed.
It's not a girl's pink, but you don't want anything they'll outgrow like that and you've wasted your money.
I don't know, really. I found a really sharp pink and I loved it,
but our Charlotte said, "Nana, it's a bit babyish." She said "babyish"!
I was gutted, obviously, cos I had me heart set on it.
It's a more mature pink, this.
"If you come anywhere near me with that stuff, my powers completely vaporise," he said...
I thought SHE was the one with the magical powers.
("If you come anywhere near me with that stuff, my powers completely vaporise.")
He said, looking at Fliss, his face rubbery with fear, "Don't leave me on my own, will you?"
She just smiled. "You'll never be alone if you trust the mirror."
Colin turned to the curly gilt mirror to see what Fliss meant.
Instead of freckles and fear, he saw bravery.
Instead of William, he saw a warrior. He turned back to Fliss and smiled.
But she'd gone, like that!
For ever?
No, this was just the beginning of their secret.
Here we go.
SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT
Angela Marshall, that is not what we're here for!
Ooh!
Don't let your guard drop, Charlotte! Whack it. Go on!
Fantastic!
Run, Charlotte, run!
Keep going!
And again. You're all right. You're all right. And again!
Out!
Hang on!
Never! You ARE joking, aren't you? How was that out? How was that out? Close call, but she was out.
Come on, Charlotte. Close call, but she touched base first!
Come on, Charlotte. You were ROBBED! Come on, Cocker, never mind.
Sisters? Nope.
Brothers? Brother. Frank. He works in Hong Kong. Have you ever been?
I've been invited. It's a long way, though.
- Hi, Nana. - Hiya! Hi, Nan.
How's it gone? OK at first, but this machine keeps snagging. Did you win? No. But they should've.
If she got proper coaching - not a PE teacher with more make-up than sense - she could be stunning.
She plays like I used to. We've decided we're having bangers and mash, Freda. You into that?
Onion gravy? I can have a go, yeah.
Twist.
Sticking.
Twist.
Bust.
Twist. Twist.
How many times is that? Four times.
I only win when we're not playing for money.
Watch yourself there, Brian. Can you manage? Yeah, if you shift. Come on. Out the way.
Mind the step.
This isn't for keeps, you know. I know.
They're being stored for stand-by. If Mack finds out, it's your idea.
Cup of tea? Aye, if it's a fizzy one. I'll have a look.
Can one of you straighten that cable for me?
Cheers, good lad.
Do you two want to play upstairs? No, I'll tell you what, go and nip to the shop and get yourself an ice cream.
Can I have a KitKat? No, it'll wreck your teeth, go on. And mind the road!
You been lumbered with them two, then?
Who told you?! You.
She got company car now?!
Only us. Hiya.
God, it's like being at work! Hi, Brian. Hi, Sylvia. Julie. I'm not stopping. Just dropping her. Right.
Does Mack know you've got this? No! I'll need to switch that adapter over. Be back in a sec. Right.
Woman at the back... Curtains? Her sister collared me at school. Just moved into a new house.
Six main windows, wants the lot doing. I can have the job if I can do 'em by next weekend.
You won't have time. They're big windows. A lot more than 45 a pair. I could if you give me a hand.
You make curtains? I do now. Do you fancy earning a few bob, Sylvia? Involving what?
TV:
'People are losing confidence in the democratic institutions.
'We have very low turnouts...'
Ah, shut your face.
'Those people don't have much confidence in the political process. I met hundreds of pensioners...'
You can talk, an' all!
Why don't you just turn it off?
I like it. Why can't we have a bit of music? I've only got two tapes and I'm sick to death of 'em.
I've got some in the car. Brilliant.
I don't want any rap!
MUSIC: "This Time" by Dina Carroll
I'm glad it's weekend. Like you can tell! Kids are at Steve's mum's.
He's out on the booze, so I get breakfast in bed tomorrow.
How d'you work that out? Guilt, usually. More he drinks, the bigger the breakfast.
Is Steve a good cook?
I said "cook"! Better than me.
I can do family meals, but if it's a proper meal, that's Steve's territory.
I've never had breakfast cooked for me by a bloke. Not ever. Have you asked? No. I wouldn't.
There you go, then.
Neither have I.
Have you got a husband?
No. Have you ever had one? Of course! How d'you think I ended up with a daughter?!
You didn't need to have been married. I don't believe in kids out of wedlock. I'm Catholic.
Too many people churn kids out without thinking how they'll pay for 'em. Where's your husband now?
Dead, I hope.
Here they are. All done.
This is too much. Your wages, and half of what I owe you.
Oh, you can pay me that any time. Cheers. Did they look good up?
They looked gorgeous. I noticed a flaw on one of the lengths. She didn't. They looked spot on.
She admitted she'd been quoted double for that job. I'm undercharging.
Uh...you didn't buy equipment, you're not running a business and you're not even paying for t'fabric.
How come you're not paying for t'fabric?
You haven't nicked it?
Oh, for God's sakes!
Only from wastage. My husband's management. I could get him fired!
I thought you'd sorted it all out through Mack. It only gets chucked away. It doesn't. It gets sold.
See! Well, I didn't know.
Hiya. Hiya, Kirsty. I've brought a few swatches. Come in. Fabric's gone up a bit. I had to change suppliers.
Ten minutes, wait here.
Hey-y! Dad!
You not talking to me? Get your kit together. I've got a taxi waiting.
I'm Julie. Freda's just across the road... Shove stuff in a bag - school stuff, whatever.
Here you are. Shove it in there.
Have you got Freda in there? Yes.
A bloke's in there, taking the kids - their dad. Oh, God!
Is this yours? Yeah.
This yours?
Yeah.
This? Yes. What're you doing? What's it look like? You can't.
It's what you wanted. Lyndsay's coming back tonight.
- Is she? - She might be. I don't know. Tony, don't!
Look at her. She's scared. She doesn't know you. Who am I?
Dad.
There you go. Just come and talk to me. Come and talk to me, please!
You've no rights. Your only blood connection with them has pissed off abroad. We don't know that.
I do. Greece. Flew from Manchester on a Tuesday, week before last.
And I know who she's gone with, cos he was down Victoria Park recruiting barmaids.
Come downstairs and talk to me. I've got a taxi on waiting time. I'll pay your taxi.
Five minutes. ..What you haven't packed gets left behind. Right?
You told me you'd nowhere to live. It's being sorted. You've no money. It's being sorted.
They're better off here. I've sorted the room out, they've got mates and you're on probation for drugs.
Four minutes! Why d'you want 'em? You've never had anything to do with them. What school do they go to?
One with railings. Leave 'em here, Tony.
Please, don't. I don't want any money off you, I'll support 'em meself...
You're up in court, aren't you? You've buggered up your probation.
If you've got the kids, you think they won't send you down? Three minutes! You selfish bastard!
Oy! Oh, yeah?
NOW!
Come on!
Charlotte!
Down NOW, or I'm coming up.
Stop it, you're scaring her!
Come on, sweetheart. It'll only make it worse if he has to come up.
I don't like him. I don't like him.
I swear to God, I'm gonna find your mum.
I'm gonna find out where she is and she'll be straight back and...
Charlotte, come on, because...
Hey, I've got pictures with you sitting on his knee laughing your head off when you were little.
It's only cos you haven't seen him for a bit.
All right.
I thought you were paying for this.
What am I supposed to feed 'em on?
See you tomorrow, sweetheart. Bye-bye, take care.
"We sent a representative from the embassy to the Paradise Bar in Paphos.
"The staff denied any knowledge of Mrs Lyndsay Townsend. I'm sorry we can't be of more assistance.
"Best wishes in your difficult task." Well, what the hell does that mean?
It's 85 degrees, she's behind a bar with the pick of the Brits, getting her fanny tanned. Bev, shut up.
She'll have got the staff to lie for her. Bev, come on. Do I care? No.
Am I sick of hearing about it? Back teeth! It's all right, I'm going.
Listen, why don't you just go home?
I don't want to go home. It's worse at home. I'll come round tonight. Let's go for a drink.
Kirsty's taking me down the club for a couple of hours. Kirsty from over the road.
MUSIC THROBS
Can I come in?
I meant, in private.
Tell you what. Your bag looks a lot more shaggable than you are.
How much you got in there? £500.
Liar.
Ransom money? Yeah. For the kids?
Yeah.
I could grab it and run. Grab it and run, then.
MUSIC OFF
Me dad's a copper.
Right, yeah. No, he is.
I didn't mean...
He doesn't know you. Not by name, anyway, but...
he reckons you don't stand a chance these days, trying to use kids against a custodial sentence
cos magistrates don't take any of that stuff into account, not with your track record.
I'm not trying to threaten you, Tony. It's not gonna work.
What do they call you? Julie.
Well, cheers for that, Joolie.
D'you want to piss off now?
If you're that sure you don't want to go back to prison, what're you hanging round here for?
And the 500?
Yours if you go.
Give it here, then. How do I know you will?
How d'you know I won't just come back?
Hiya.
Have you heard anything? No. Well, yeah. A mate of hers reckons a bunch shifted from Greece to Turkey.
I don't know if Lyndsay went. Seen the kids? I went round last night.
He didn't want to let me in, but the kids heard me at the door. They seemed OK, but...
Steve!
That's twice in an hour! I'm bloody sick of it! It's not fixed! I bloody said it wasn't fixed!
Anyone seen Brian? What? Sort this before Julie takes your knees out.
Hiya.
'Freda Wilson to the office, please. Freda Wilson to the office.'
What's up? That was the school. Nobody's been to pick the kids up. Where's he?
Nobody knows. They took 'em home, but there's nobody in and the flat's been emptied. Bastard!
I don't care too much for money cos money can't buy me love. B'bum!
You could do worse than Barry.
Who? Barry, from our place!
He's a security guard.
So?
He's a loser with two kids. What kind of a prospect is he?
LAUGHTER
Yes! Yes!
Who-hoo!
Yes! Get in! Get in!
According to MARTIN, Barry's had a bit of a windfall.
What kind of a windfall? A lot of money.
Subtitles by Dorothy Moore BBC Scotland 2001
E-mail us at subtitling@bbc.co.uk