CAR RADIO PLAYS: "Sex Bomb" by Tom Jones and Mousse T
HUM OF CONVERSATION
She's on the game!
Speaker in every door!
I saved up.
If I save up, all I can afford's a nightie! >
SPEECH DROWNED OUT BY CAR RADIO
Broke his nose and wrist. God!
I ended up going to Halifax, reloading stock with the police, driving it back here myself,
then I was in here half the night.
Oh, you should have phoned.
I'm doing the drinks - want one? No, but bring yours.
What's going on?
Three wagons down. One in an accident, one in for servicing and one with a cracked axle which is...
..Your fault. YOU manage transport.
If we can't deliver... We CAN deliver!
It's OK. How did it get like this?! A cracked axle isn't my fault!
That wagon missed two service checks. It was still checked!
You missed a weak axle? What does one look like? ..You counterclaimed on the insurance for that.
Which was knocked back because the service record isn't up-to-date.
They don't want to cover us now!
They're bound to hike up the premium. You'd think that.
They don't want the business! Three more weeks, we're not insured.
Sort it out, and don't sit round there finishing your coffee! Where?
The office. Have you got a problem with me drinking coffee in Trudy's office?
SPEECH INAUDIBLE
Isn't that scraping the barrel?
Apparently, yeah, but I'm hoping he'll see past my faults!
Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you,
but this is really good for me.
Hiya. Is she not home yet?
Any time now. She's gone for a swim, which is Trudy-speak for a nervous breakdown.
If he talks to me like that again, I'll smack him one!
He's always been a bit protective.
Can I borrow that Jigsaw top? You'll have to pay for it.
I'm only going for a quick drink. You'll go halves!
She looked better without it!
Hey, I knew a bloke who always did that -
"Don't you reckon my wife's arse looks great in that?"
You never know what to say!
We're off down the Rose And Crown.
What's he like?
What about the bedroom? It's too far to walk.
Why not split Transport off as a separate company?
Insurance would smell it a mile off.
What if it was a separate company run by you?
What? And instead of just transport manager, you owned the rigs.
Do you know how much a rig costs?
I do now.
What are you on about?
Not on your own - you and me.
I don't have that kind of money and I never will have.
New companies don't use THEIR money. They borrow it. Against what?
Property.
If you moved in here, you could use the money from your flat.
They were two separate thoughts originally.
I think we're getting on really well.
I don't know how long you're meant to leave it before you make a move.
I'm making a move.
Mack! Oh.
What's up? ..Oh.
Can we set another place here? I said 'we'.
I thought you meant 'we'. Hiya.
Thank you.
Where will your money come from?
The bank have given us the nod. We'll get tax breaks as a new company.
What's in it for me? On-site haulage and you don't pay the overheads.
I'm being completely looked after!
My transport manager does such a crap job the insurance company shuts the policy down,
then bounces to the rescue by taking the fleet! It's my lucky day(!)
You're going into business together? You and him? Why not?
Neither of us wants to leave the job we do now. That's good of you(!)
The bank won't fund you outright. We'd use capital. Yours or his? Same each.
Where's Romeo getting his from?
You should've kept this place. I need money to invest. Trudy's rich.
How do you work that out? Come on - dead dad! You know shit, Kev.
In six months, you'll be on Pot Noodles, begging me for the sofa!
Shit! What's in it?
Sue! Eddie! Come here, mate! How's it going?
Big. Hot. Busy. Is Martin in?
I thought you were in Sheffield. Where's Stuart?
Few complications but... Is he in? Kev? Where the hell are you? Here!
Bloody hell! I know!
No Stuart?
Hiya! Look who we found!
Hello!
I'm here to help - most I'm up to is a kettle.
Kettle's on anyway. Come in.
Hiya, Eddie. ..God, size of you! Size of both of you! You on your own?
Stuart was due parole last Friday. He got into a fight with another prisoner. Parole cancelled.
We've to wait for the next board - six weeks. God, I'm sorry!
Oh, it's nobody's fault... Well, it is, of course it is!
But it's like talking to the wall.
Are you back in your own house? Yeah, got back on Thursday.
Eddie was missing the family, and I could do with them around if...
The baby's not turned yet - panicking a bit.
But you and Martin! People have only just twigged, which is a miracle.
Weird for you - me sweeping up your castoffs!
He deserves somebody more like you than me. I could take that the wrong way!
He talks in his sleep! >
Which would be interesting if he knew any dirty words, but he's blank. He's boring as shit!
How does that look?
Different in your house.
I haven't rushed you into this?
Or the business?
I'm unrushable! Give me a week, and I'll have myself believing it was MY idea.
That was a bit weird - Sue.
But not a problem for anybody?
No.
Furniture's in, then? We just about managed without your help, thanks(!)
Are you OK about it? Why shouldn't he be?
He should be scared to death!
Cos I'm here till I know what I'm doing, and we're not the Brontes!
This needs a bottle of wine. Are you coming down or shall I bring it up?
CHEERING
Back in your cages! You up in court?
Secret bash for posh gay blokes? Where's he going?
If you knew half what I know, you'd be dangerous. Gormless git!
Kept that quiet, didn't they? Not so as you'd notice.
When did YOU know about them?
A couple of months back.
Selling the property or borrowing against it? Selling.
Sign at the bottom there.
You're going to try running this business from the streets? >
No...
We've moved in together.
I see. Partners in every sense.
Martin, I give you this ring as a token of our love and our marriage.
all that we now share.
A symbol of... all that we now share.
It is my privilege to say that you are now husband and wife.
Yes. ..No, I make that £748 for the gingham.
And the daisy print came out on Tuesday.
Do you wish we'd told people?
No.
I bet you never thought you'd have a honeymoon like this! I never thought I'd have one at all.
Why's that? I hate weddings. I can't stand being looked at.
Yeah, I'm like that.
Did it feel businessy?
That was the point.
You want to tell people now, don't you? No, No. I'm rock solid with secrets, me.
This is for the transfer of vehicles. This is the contract to supply Mackintosh Ltd -
12 months renewable, with the option in Mackintosh's favour. Oh, yeah?
OK?
You have discussed that? It doesn't need discussing.
If they screw up, I need an option to contract elsewhere.
Nobody's reaching for the moon. Trudy's in the same chair and Martin's in a portakabin outside!
Anyway, right.
Cheque in full payment for rolling stock.
Big one. This is one cheque I don't hand to you for banking.
We'll soon find out what's going on. Relax, there's no bad news.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
We couldn't say until the paperwork was done, but as of today, if you want it,
you work for me...
and Trudy. Graham-Leach.
Graham-Leach. It's a new company handling just the freight.
No change in practice, same pay, same everything...apart from the name on the wages cheques.
You thought you were getting dumped?
He was gonna burn your house down. I was gonna cut your brake pipes.
Come back for champagne! Yeah... You should do that together.
You sure? Yeah, I've loads to do.
Congratulations. Have a nice night. You, too, Mack.
See you! Thanks, Peter!
Can you give me a lift back? No, you're taking me out to get pissed.
As dates go, you're pretty consistent with my last three.
Have you and Mack ever slept together?
Do you need an answer to that?
Graham-Leach? Er, Trudy Graham, Martin Leach. Ah!
Point to your name. ..Like that.
Get closer...!
Get out of the way, you tit!
I'm doing my jacket.
Relax!
Say "cock"! ALL: Cock!
I'm jealous.
What are your shares worth?
Offer him a bed, you get 50%!
215A, 215B...
PHONE RINGS
Just a sec, Margaret.
Graham-Leach Partnership.
I'll just transfer you.
BELL RINGS
Graham-Leach. First phone call. Who is it? I forgot to ask.
Martin Leach. Are you a new company? Yeah. Ten years of experience, though.
Sorry, Margaret.
Mainly UK, some Northern Europe. South Coast? When for?
Regular Fridays. Yeah, we've got a Friday slot. Dorset. Dorset's fine.
Fax me an outline of volume. What's your fax number? I'll just get it.
Sorry, Margaret. ..Looking for the fax number? Where is it? Behind you.
0161-496-4000.
I'll be five minutes. When I get that I'll get back to you. Cheers.
How much can you draw for that?
It's not a massive contract, but they've a distribution deal with ICI and need reliable sub-contractors.
So no promises, but you never know.
Well done! He looks about 12 when he smiles like that!
No, it's, "Well done, Trudy".
YOU pinned the price down. Janice has never paid tax in her life.
To her, "doing the books" is filing receipts for stuff bought in Kendals!
Only thin people in this section, madam. Hiya! Hiya!
I lost undies in the move, so I've spent the last few days wearing none!
How's Eddie? Better now he's back in his own school. So you think Sheffield was wasted?
Whenever we went to the prison, Stuart was all over us, determined to get out and put things right.
But that's all it amounted to - talking about it.
MOBILE RINGS
Mum.
Why, where are you?
Two minutes. ..No, two minutes, honestly.
She's on double yellows.
I'll see if Eddie fancies coming to the match on Saturday. That'd be brilliant. ..See you.
See you.
Marks and Spencers. Done. Three wagons - one today, two tomorrow.
Calibrand? Went out this morning.
Hewitts of Glasgow. Er, next Monday.
They asked to move it to Friday.
That's three wagons. Is it a problem?
No. Good.
Has he seen our orders? They're on my computer.
Did you take the call from Hewitts? No! I'd have warned you.
I think he's shafted us. Come on, he wouldn't. He's not that bad.
He bloody would. He has. How come you normally deal with Hewitts and now he's taking the calls?
Ask them who suggested Friday.
What do we do about that new contract? Dunno.
I've promised now.
Graham-Leach Partnership.
Hang on, I'll check.
No, we're based at Trencherfield. Different company, same premises. We're just renting space.
13th looks fine. I'll transfer you to Mr Leach.
I was gonna make us a coffee, but there isn't a socket free.
Have we got an adapter?
ANSWERPHONE MESSAGE PLAYS
Hiya.
Er, what was it you wanted again? Four more sockets on that wall. But can you give us 10 minutes?
Er...yeah, sure.
This isn't going to work if you behave like a child. What me?
You told Hewitts it'd have to be Friday as next week was busy.
Martin's got enough on his plate without your games.
It's not a game.
It will crop up sooner or later - two jobs, one slot.
So you thought you'd put him in training for his benefit?
He works for you for free, you miserable sod!
You don't make a brilliant pair, you know.
That's none of your business.
30-year-old bachelor who has never committed a single self-driven decision in his life.
So what's in it for you?
This came about because it was good for all of us.
You'd have no deliveries if Martin hadn't solved your insurance problem.
Yeah, only cos he was told to...
..by you.
Do you know what?
Bugger off!
PHONE RINGS Get a temp in to answer that. Trudy!
ANSWERING MACHINE PLAYS
PHONE RINGS
Graham-Leach Partnership.
How did you hear about us? (Are you OK? I'm fine!)
Give me your name and address. I'll send you a brochure.
Yeah.
Lengthways, or people won't be able to get out.
Hiya. You look nice. Thank you.
What's SHE drinking?
Am I carving? Not yet. It's got to stand for ten minutes. Get the meat plate.
I'll put the potatoes on it. Have you done the gravy? You didn't say gravy.
I said, "Save the stock for the gravy." You didn't say it to ME.
Sorry. We overslept.
All right, I did!
Janice. Does this make my tits look wonky?
Where's the stock for the gravy? In the Pyrex jug. The Pyrex jug's in the sink with the washing-up!
Sod off!
Are we late? You're joking!
HER fault.
HIS fault!
I filled it up last time!
No, he didn't! Brilliant, thanks!
Sue? I'd love a glass of water.
Babs?
A glass of wine, please.
Oh, the oven.
Kev. Barry.
You look great. Thanks. I don't know how. I got ready in ten minutes!
You all right for a drink, Sue? No.
Trude, Sue hasn't got a drink!
HUM OF CONVERSATION
There's nothing clever about VAT. Cheers! Unpaid tax collectors. That's what I said.
I was charging VAT for two years before I realised you had to earn enough.
They made me pay it all back!
Kev, can you pass this along?
Can you do the kids' hair?
Course! Bring them in!
Er, can I just say something?
We're here to wish Martin and Trudy success with the new business.
They've both been fantastic to all of us in different ways.
We should be cooking for them!
Um...Trudy and Martin.
ALL: Trudy and Martin.
Cheers, Sue.
I'm no good at speeches so I'm not even gonna try. But me and Trudy also have an announcement.
And it's a big one... so hang onto your chairs.
The gravy is granules and it's Janice's fault! Martin!
Typical!
Why did you have to do that?!
THEY ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
Was that custard a bit runny? >
Who fancies a bouncy castle?
ALL: Me!
Right, coats on, outside.
Do that again and you're out on your ear!
For God's sake!
What is it?
Can I bounce on it?
If you don't, I will! You're mental!
I'm paying maintenance to her!
That's your level, Kev. No brain, can't talk, legs spread!
Yeah, AND it can cut hair.
Shut up, you!
He's never gonna change. In fact, it gets worse.
Our first foster parents dumped us because of his gob!
I thought they were OK, but him and Stuart couldn't stick them.
They got caught shoplifting so we'd get a case review. ..Kev!
Ten Turkish Delights! Jam double album. Which I got the blame for!
Kev never talks about that. There's nothing to tell.
I bet everybody says that you'll love having kids. >
Not really, no.
I bet they do. They'd be wrong. >
Everyone I've thought that about has been crap with kids. What are you saying?
Steer clear of parenting. Just borrow kids from time to time.
Well, mine... This world is short of baby-sitters.
Isn't it hard bringing two up alone?
You don't always have a say. Come on. We're not Dark Ages.
I never wanted just one child anyway.
Why not? Because.
Truth or dare. You wouldn't be pregnant, with a fella where yours is, if you had the choice.
Truth or dare, you wouldn't dump an accountant for a security guard.
I wasn't being personal. You were! OK, but only cos I've had a few. I wasn't, honest!
You got more beer? Yeah. Anybody else want one? ALL: Me!
I think I'd better have some water.
Why am I the only one shifting?
Cos you're gorgeous!
Yeah, right(!)
You are.
I did think twice about it.
The doctor said he understood if I wanted a termination.
Then I got a consultant,
The minute he said yes, I was like, "Who are you doing this for?"
I can imagine.
Next thing I knew, I was on my way home.
Am I right in thinking that's March?
PHONE RINGS
No! April. Have you got it there?
I can't answer that right now.
CRASH
I've said I'm sorry. ..Have you?
So your machine doesn't pick up my messages? It's been trained not to.
Shift back upstairs. I'll buy you a cappuccino machine. I hate coffee.
A foot spa for under your desk?
I know I behaved badly and I'm sorry.
You OK? Everything's...
No.
All right, Freda? Yep. ..Oh, hiya, Trudy. Freda.
I'll leave you to it. ..I'll phone you about the thingy, Sue.
OK, thanks, Freda. See you at work, then, Trudy. Ta-ra.
You know she uses fabric from work? Well, yeah, but only from wastage.
Do you mind? Course we do. I've been deducting £15 a week from her wages.
She's yet to notice, so she must be doing well. Good luck to her.
If it doesn't turn soon, I might end up with a Caesarian,
which isn't the end of the world but it's just more hassle.
If it was Stuart's baby, you wouldn't consider aborting. What do you mean?
Look at me.
The minute you mentioned abortion, I knew it.
A lot of people THINK about aborting. You're not everybody.
Neither is Stuart. You've had to fight for him.
Does Martin know it's his?
Oh, God!
It was only when I had the first scan.
Four weeks further on than I thought.
You came back for Martin.
I knew nothing about you two.
If I'd made it back for Kev's wedding, or...
I might have known, but I didn't,
so I just thought...
Stuart's screwed his parole up twice.
I don't think he can face coming home.
With three weeks to go, I panicked.
I've said nothing to anybody else.
I've just made a fool of myself. It can stay like that.
You two are dead right for each other.
You are. I've watched you.
I'm not gonna open my mouth now.
You can trust me.
That's not good enough though, is it?
Please don't tell him.
He doesn't need to know.
I worked it out. Martin's a long way off stupid.
DOOR SHUTS
Trude?
Your phone's off. Flat battery.
Hungry? Sue wants to see you.
..What? She wants to talk to you.
What about? ..Tonight, if possible.
Oh, right.
There's a reason she didn't phone. Why don't you nip round?
Is it about Stuart? Go and see her.
Mack?
Our Janice has gone to see a film. I don't know who else to ring.
At home.
..I was wondering if you could come over.
Hiya. ..Trudy said you needed me.
Come in.
This timing is...
Are you certain it's mine?
You've moved on, Martin.
You've moved in with Trudy.
How come I'm the last to know?
Nobody knows.
Trudy, and I didn't tell her, she guessed.
Why are you telling me?
I'm the last person Martin would want to know.
I need good advice, Mack. You're talking like you've lost everything.
He's got everything he wants somewhere else.
You don't know that. He won't walk away from a child. You didn't need to tell him!
You don't know him. You wouldn't lie to him. You and truth!
You can't avoid it! Sue was capable of keeping all this to herself.
Sorry you've ended up in this shit, but did you have to ask the questions? Yes!
No, I could've carried on, lying awake the next ten years, waiting for Martin to find out, then losing more!
We're not all like you, Mack.
What I'm like suits me. Fine. I can't live like that.
Would it have lasted ten years? You just don't like him.
Honest question.
I don't know.
Yes.
I'm curious, that's all.
You've never jumped into anything.
One minute it's a date, next it's a business,
next thing you're moving him in.
What was the rush? You're the only one who thought it was a rush.
Only I am qualified to comment.
You think I did all this to give you a good hiding?
A bit of me does, yeah.
You're wrong.
You're not jealous. You're just pretending to be because you want what somebody else has got.
Maybe. But I'm only being excluded cos I once...
..ONCE turned you down,
and I wish I hadn't.
So it's not everything.
You won't have lost everything.
You need to know that.
DOOR OPENS
Martin.
What's he doing here? I was invited.
I can't believe you did that.
I'd better go. Did you tell him?
I've come as a friend. Suddenly.
The Scotch is communal.
I needed someone to talk to. Mess, innit?
I'd feel better if it was someone's fault.
How do you want to handle this money...business...stuff?
I don't know.
We'll need some advice. You've put most money in, so...
That's it? ..You can do that, can you?
Make decisions for me? Pack the bags and get somebody to go over the paperwork?
What am I meant to say? Do you love me or not?!
Martin, don't make this worse for me.
What the hell did you think getting married was about? Tax relief?!
YOU didn't want it talking about. Says who? Well, who've you told?
You asked me not to! I said... You asked me not to! Before we did it!
Who the hell do you think I am?!
You went through with it thinking I'd marry you for tax?
You should be ashamed of yourself!
I thought you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me, not bail out at the first problem!
Yeah, but it's not just a problem. She's pregnant and it's yours.
Yeah, and I only found out because she wishes it was somebody else's!
But I know you. You won't leave her to struggle on her own.
I won't leave her struggling,
but I won't throw all this away cos she decided to lie to Stuart!
She's waited eight months for Stuart. I was Plan B. Again!
I won't go in there playing baby-sitter for Stuart, or Sue, or Kev, or anybody else!
Cos that's been my life - making sure every other fucker was OK.
"Let Martin sort it out." Look at me!
I'm 30.
I've waited a long time for this, Trudy.
I married you cos I love you. It's the only reason I COULD have married you!
Martin...
She's seen the last of our Stuart, so it'll take money to help her out,
which you're bound to resent, but we will make money,
despite what Mack the Knife thinks.
No - BECAUSE of what Mack The Knife thinks.
I'm bloody determined! And nobody gets to know about the baby. Promise me. Of course.
For Sue's sake. Not our Kev, not your Janice.
I promise... Martin...
I'm really, really sorry.
You won't be.
Hiya, you all right?
You're not supposed to see each other. It's bad luck.
First blow job you get, she'll bite it off!
Subtitles by Caroline Tosh BBC Scotland - 2001
Email us at subtitling@bbx.co.uk