1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:02,299
So from now on,
2
00:00:02,424 --> 00:00:06,186
we'll refer to each other
by our Spanish nombres.
3
00:00:06,889 --> 00:00:08,039
It will be...
4
00:00:23,051 --> 00:00:26,247
Buenos días, Winger.
5
00:00:30,629 --> 00:00:31,781
Class dismissed.
6
00:00:38,677 --> 00:00:40,957
Look, I'm Annie's backpack.
7
00:00:41,657 --> 00:00:42,857
Stop it, Troy.
8
00:00:47,498 --> 00:00:50,935
Say there are two friends
and they're in the same class
9
00:00:51,060 --> 00:00:53,433
and one wants to ask the other one
out on a date.
10
00:00:53,558 --> 00:00:55,108
Like a grown-up date,
11
00:00:55,411 --> 00:00:58,411
but within biking distance
of his parents' house.
12
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:00,975
They could do something on campus.
13
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:04,795
Tomorrow there's a picnic
with live music on the East lawn.
14
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,720
They're calling it
"A night under the stars".
15
00:01:08,164 --> 00:01:11,114
Cool. I bet Randi
would love that type of thing.
16
00:01:11,322 --> 00:01:12,322
Randi?
17
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,048
I thought...
18
00:01:15,535 --> 00:01:16,575
You thought...
19
00:01:17,308 --> 00:01:19,679
Can't believe
I misled you like that.
20
00:01:19,804 --> 00:01:20,804
Listen...
21
00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:24,291
Randi can be the name
of a guy or a girl.
22
00:01:25,038 --> 00:01:27,586
And in this case,
it is definitely a girl.
23
00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:30,798
Thanks for your help.
24
00:01:31,728 --> 00:01:32,894
You're welcome.
25
00:01:33,019 --> 00:01:34,432
And I hate you.
26
00:01:34,557 --> 00:01:36,317
And I want to have your children.
27
00:01:36,442 --> 00:01:38,931
Damn, I picked the wrong couple
to follow out of class this morning.
28
00:01:39,056 --> 00:01:41,006
Jeff and Britta are dead air.
29
00:01:41,627 --> 00:01:45,040
Are you okay? It looks like
you have actual bed head this morning.
30
00:01:45,165 --> 00:01:47,413
In fashion,
I'm what's known as a tastemaker.
31
00:01:47,538 --> 00:01:50,164
And you missed an entire side
of your face shaving.
32
00:01:50,289 --> 00:01:52,496
And next month,
so will Gwen Stefani.
33
00:01:52,621 --> 00:01:54,238
Here comes Vaughn. Bye.
34
00:01:55,726 --> 00:01:57,074
- Crap.
- Vaughn?
35
00:01:58,132 --> 00:02:00,213
The guy with the tiny nipples
you did it with.
36
00:02:00,747 --> 00:02:02,580
Hi, Vaughn.
Can we talk sometime?
37
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,337
I'm sorry about how things ended.
38
00:02:04,462 --> 00:02:07,899
I'm sorry I can't accept your apology
'cause you're toxic, Britta.
39
00:02:08,922 --> 00:02:11,922
You're like the exact opposite
of an antioxidant.
40
00:02:13,329 --> 00:02:16,525
- I got band practice. Lates.
- Can't we still be friends?
41
00:02:16,650 --> 00:02:19,600
And isn't the word "later"
already short enough?
42
00:02:20,317 --> 00:02:22,167
Let me talk to him for you.
43
00:02:22,544 --> 00:02:23,651
Man-to-man is better.
44
00:02:23,776 --> 00:02:26,819
We won't think about our chubby thighs
or whether or not we can have babies.
45
00:02:26,944 --> 00:02:28,200
Don't talk to Vaughn.
46
00:02:29,314 --> 00:02:32,693
- Your hormones are clouding your...
- Don't talk to Vaughn.
47
00:02:36,022 --> 00:02:38,074
That is "girl" for "talk to Vaughn".
48
00:03:03,511 --> 00:03:06,061
You sure you don't want
a piece of that?
49
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,331
What is he doing?
50
00:03:10,528 --> 00:03:12,520
I know exactly what he's doing.
51
00:03:12,645 --> 00:03:14,355
My ex-husband
spent four weeks doing that
52
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,923
after his "innocent mistake"
of calling me Valerie.
53
00:03:17,773 --> 00:03:19,723
That boy's living in his car.
54
00:03:25,497 --> 00:03:28,343
I lived in my car
for a stretch in the '70s.
55
00:03:29,423 --> 00:03:31,209
Nothing like bedding a woman
56
00:03:31,334 --> 00:03:33,537
on the vinyl backseat of a Skylark.
57
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,842
Of course, we didn't have the same
safety standards back then so...
58
00:03:39,415 --> 00:03:40,678
No condoms.
59
00:03:40,847 --> 00:03:43,556
I tell you, before aids,
sex was like shaking hands.
60
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,585
Hands aids.
61
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:47,059
Brittles, I forgot to tell you,
I went and talked to Vaughn.
62
00:03:47,786 --> 00:03:50,207
The bad news is
I could not patch up things between you.
63
00:03:50,332 --> 00:03:51,856
You really did a number on him.
64
00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:54,610
Good news is
I'm the new keyboardist in his band.
65
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:57,706
So I asked you not to talk to him
and you completely ignored me.
66
00:03:57,831 --> 00:03:59,238
You're missing the headline.
67
00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:00,948
I'm in a rock band!
68
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:03,200
I'd like to be there
when the band finds out.
69
00:04:09,201 --> 00:04:11,250
We were just talking
about how in today's economy...
70
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,085
Living in your car.
You are living in your car.
71
00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:17,370
I'm sorry,
I'm not good at being coy.
72
00:04:17,748 --> 00:04:19,216
I'm not living in my car.
73
00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:21,958
I'm just sleeping in it
for a couple of days
74
00:04:22,083 --> 00:04:24,096
while I work at some problems
with my condo.
75
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:25,801
It's a very temporary issue.
76
00:04:25,926 --> 00:04:27,141
I've got to pay some fees
77
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,935
and then they'll put my locks
back on the door and that'll be that.
78
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,353
How you'll get the money?
79
00:04:32,081 --> 00:04:34,689
Believe me, kitten,
Winger's got moves.
80
00:04:35,248 --> 00:04:39,252
- Do you need a place to stay?
- I'd offer but my dad's kind of racist.
81
00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:40,487
Stay with me.
82
00:04:40,656 --> 00:04:43,282
My room has a bunk bed, which is
a misnomer because it's the real deal.
83
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,534
The next person
that offers me charity or pity
84
00:04:45,848 --> 00:04:48,454
will be mentioned by name
in my suicide note.
85
00:04:54,453 --> 00:04:56,656
Thanks for your advice
about "a night under the stars".
86
00:04:56,781 --> 00:04:58,860
Of course. Anytime. Ever.
87
00:04:58,985 --> 00:05:00,966
I got to figure out
what to bring to the picnic.
88
00:05:01,291 --> 00:05:04,553
This is my first college girl
so I really want to impress her.
89
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,348
Would you mind helping me
shop for this stuff?
90
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,892
- I'd love to.
- Really?
91
00:05:10,706 --> 00:05:11,906
Thanks. Later.
92
00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:18,067
Wanna see my place?
93
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,719
I can see it.
Two girls are making out on the hood.
94
00:05:20,844 --> 00:05:22,244
No, my real place.
95
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:28,034
The condo board's trying to bluff me
by listing my place as available.
96
00:05:28,441 --> 00:05:29,703
Look at those faucets.
97
00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,979
Handcrafted in Italy.
100% expensive.
98
00:05:33,626 --> 00:05:35,070
Those faucets are beautiful.
99
00:05:35,195 --> 00:05:37,419
You know what they would
go great with: a home,
100
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:38,829
which you no longer have.
101
00:05:38,954 --> 00:05:41,763
- You need to move on with your life.
- Yeah. Move on with my life.
102
00:05:41,888 --> 00:05:43,638
"Shmove shmon shmith shmy shmife. "
103
00:05:44,206 --> 00:05:46,389
This condo is all that's left of me.
104
00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,636
Every part of it is a part
of who I am.
105
00:05:48,761 --> 00:05:51,462
- Is that a bidet?
- That part's for resale value.
106
00:05:51,891 --> 00:05:53,591
And Saturday afternoons.
107
00:05:55,264 --> 00:05:59,099
You know, downgrading your lifestyle
is your chance to grow as a person.
108
00:05:59,224 --> 00:06:00,828
Maybe even become one.
109
00:06:00,953 --> 00:06:03,862
The less you have, the more you can be.
You know what I'm saying?
110
00:06:04,517 --> 00:06:07,167
There's a silver lining here,
isn't there?
111
00:06:07,863 --> 00:06:09,764
- You're attracted to bums.
- Good night.
112
00:06:09,889 --> 00:06:11,919
Come on. Why don't you have
dinner at my place?
113
00:06:12,044 --> 00:06:14,163
I got a hot plate
that plugs into a cigarette lighter.
114
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,458
Yeah, but your kitchen's
being towed.
115
00:06:18,371 --> 00:06:19,984
Stop! That's my house!
116
00:06:25,075 --> 00:06:26,176
Can I live with you?
117
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:28,761
Yeah. Cool.
You want the top or the bottom bunk?
118
00:06:29,303 --> 00:06:30,306
Top.
119
00:06:30,636 --> 00:06:31,636
Me too.
120
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:35,686
I win.
121
00:06:41,496 --> 00:06:44,056
Look, I really need
to liquidate some assets.
122
00:06:44,181 --> 00:06:46,081
It's an emergency situation.
123
00:06:46,872 --> 00:06:48,244
What kind of an offer is that?
124
00:06:48,369 --> 00:06:50,534
These are mint condition issues.
125
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,233
The premise alone is priceless.
126
00:06:52,358 --> 00:06:55,039
The guy has the powers
and strength of a spider.
127
00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:59,593
No, your incredulity
perplexes me, nerd.
128
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:05,424
Did I say anything in my sleep
about farm animals or Brian Williams?
129
00:07:05,915 --> 00:07:06,925
I don't think so.
130
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:14,461
- Lucky charms?
- How are you so satisfied all the time?
131
00:07:14,931 --> 00:07:17,895
Don't you ever want
anything more out of life than cereal?
132
00:07:18,901 --> 00:07:20,949
Sometimes I like to pour
hot cocoa mix into cold milk
133
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,863
and drink like it
like a cold hot chocolate.
134
00:07:22,988 --> 00:07:24,234
I call it "special drink".
135
00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:26,987
And some day you will know it
by its true name, "diabetes. "
136
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,200
You're Goldie Hawn, Jeff.
137
00:07:32,366 --> 00:07:34,244
- I'm sorry?
- You're Goldie Hawn.
138
00:07:34,739 --> 00:07:35,989
Is it the lips?
139
00:07:36,266 --> 00:07:38,308
In overboard, she was just like you.
140
00:07:38,433 --> 00:07:41,085
Wealthy, assertive, arrogant.
Got manicures all the time.
141
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,378
But she fell off her boat,
good thing for her because,
142
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,799
she realized she was happier being poor
and rising four boys with Kurt Russell.
143
00:07:47,306 --> 00:07:48,717
Can I not be Kurt Russell?
144
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:50,761
Do whatever you want.
You just have to know.
145
00:07:52,333 --> 00:07:54,233
For me, it's Lucky Charms...
146
00:07:54,894 --> 00:07:55,894
and tv.
147
00:07:59,116 --> 00:08:00,616
I could use a break.
148
00:08:03,021 --> 00:08:04,371
A picnic blanket.
149
00:08:04,694 --> 00:08:05,694
Genius.
150
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,652
I was gonna lay down on newspaper.
151
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,364
It's the blanket my grandmother used
to court my grandfather.
152
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,449
Yeah? That's pretty hot.
153
00:08:13,930 --> 00:08:14,930
Thanks.
154
00:08:17,817 --> 00:08:19,667
Tell that boy how you feel!
155
00:08:20,592 --> 00:08:21,642
It's scary.
156
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:24,585
If he's not interested,
I could lose the friendship too.
157
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:27,053
You could.
Love is a gamble always.
158
00:08:27,178 --> 00:08:30,456
But waiting won't change the dice.
You either roll them or lose your turn.
159
00:08:30,581 --> 00:08:33,338
I'm going to roll them.
I am. I just...
160
00:08:33,622 --> 00:08:35,372
I need a few more shakes.
161
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,715
Shake 'em in your mind, okay?
162
00:08:38,813 --> 00:08:40,739
Excuse me, Pierce's band is playing
163
00:08:40,864 --> 00:08:42,899
and I want to record
the train wreck.
164
00:08:43,024 --> 00:08:45,577
Kind of hoping
for a Michael Richards situation.
165
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,758
They're pretty good.
This isn't weird for you?
166
00:08:55,131 --> 00:08:58,203
Just want to show Vaughn some support
to help smooth things over.
167
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,080
Saying good-bye to Britta
168
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,101
was the hardest thing to do.
169
00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:06,128
But when someone's
a bitch and a liar,
170
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:09,091
there ain't nothing left to woo.
171
00:09:10,111 --> 00:09:12,829
I'm getting rid of Britta.
What am I doing?
172
00:09:12,954 --> 00:09:15,865
- I'm getting rid of the b.
- She's a no-good b.
173
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,307
I'm getting rid of Britta,
174
00:09:18,663 --> 00:09:21,852
- I'm getting rid of the b.
- She's a gdb.
175
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:26,516
Same as a 45-year-old,
except he doesn't get as tired.
176
00:09:31,456 --> 00:09:33,226
Great to have somebody
to watch stuff with.
177
00:09:33,351 --> 00:09:35,824
My dad never wanted to watch anything
so I was kind of raised by tv.
178
00:09:36,769 --> 00:09:38,467
Tv's the best dad there is.
179
00:09:38,592 --> 00:09:40,237
Tv never came home drunk.
180
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:42,362
Tv never forgot me at the zoo.
181
00:09:42,489 --> 00:09:44,539
Tv never abused and insulted me,
182
00:09:44,987 --> 00:09:46,787
unless you count Cop Rock.
183
00:09:47,259 --> 00:09:48,337
Cop Rock.
184
00:09:48,678 --> 00:09:50,380
- That sounds cool.
- Doesn't it?
185
00:09:54,642 --> 00:09:58,097
You guys are really
dorming it up in here, huh?
186
00:09:58,781 --> 00:10:00,758
In the last two days,
I spent a quarter.
187
00:10:00,883 --> 00:10:03,194
- We're having the time of our lives.
- See?
188
00:10:03,319 --> 00:10:05,169
Who needs platinum faucets?
189
00:10:05,737 --> 00:10:07,612
Do you guys even have
faucets in here?
190
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:10,051
There's a communal bathroom
down the hallway.
191
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,743
It actually helped me come to terms
with losing my condo.
192
00:10:13,484 --> 00:10:16,657
You don't sit on a toilet like that
until you've left the material world.
193
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,844
- Pavel!
- Hey, bros.
194
00:10:19,969 --> 00:10:21,988
This is Pavel. He lives next door.
He's from Poland.
195
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,417
I'm getting rid of Britta,
getting rid of the b.
196
00:10:27,983 --> 00:10:30,712
Excuse me,
I have a future murder victim to visit.
197
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,857
Guys, what the hell!
"Getting rid of Britta"?
198
00:10:51,333 --> 00:10:55,337
That song was disrespectful to me
and to the definition of "rhyme scheme".
199
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:59,232
If you don't like my song,
you don't have to listen, all right?
200
00:10:59,357 --> 00:11:01,785
I'm an artist
and I write what I feel.
201
00:11:01,954 --> 00:11:03,704
And I feel that you suck.
202
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,872
All right, hold on here.
203
00:11:06,285 --> 00:11:08,135
Can I have a word with you?
204
00:11:12,711 --> 00:11:14,873
Could you come here, please,
for a second?
205
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,312
What'd you say?
206
00:11:19,437 --> 00:11:21,908
I know Britta's your friend,
but my song is more important.
207
00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:26,637
Your song.
We wrote it together.
208
00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,249
- Are you trying to Garfunkel me?
- Maybe.
209
00:11:29,374 --> 00:11:31,940
Assuming to "Garfunkel" someone
is to keep putting up with them
210
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:35,902
even though they're a fat, lazy cat
who hogs the spotlight and eats lasagna.
211
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,446
I get it. You're jealous.
212
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:41,033
- What? Why?
- I don't know.
213
00:11:41,202 --> 00:11:44,661
Because when I were these skinny jeans,
my ass looks like a baby pumpkin.
214
00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,330
Or because I'm not a small-nippled,
215
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:49,206
credit-hogging jag
who only knows three power cords.
216
00:11:49,805 --> 00:11:51,752
My band, my song!
217
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,006
You want that?
How you like that?
218
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:00,802
You get on that horse.
219
00:12:07,023 --> 00:12:08,727
Did you just defend my honor?
220
00:12:11,543 --> 00:12:12,943
Oh, yeah, totally.
221
00:12:13,793 --> 00:12:15,743
And you'll light the candles.
222
00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,819
And you'll take a bite.
223
00:12:18,229 --> 00:12:20,829
And she'll take a bite.
And you'll laugh.
224
00:12:22,623 --> 00:12:24,668
And you'll offer her
your letter jacket
225
00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:28,331
after you notice this funny way
she shakes when she gets cold.
226
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:32,292
And she'll feel like
the luckiest girl in the world.
227
00:12:32,656 --> 00:12:33,656
Right.
228
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:37,671
I couldn't have done this
without your help.
229
00:12:37,796 --> 00:12:39,246
You're really nice.
230
00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:41,827
We should've hung out more
in high school.
231
00:12:42,485 --> 00:12:44,805
Remember when you pretended
to be my backpack?
232
00:12:48,542 --> 00:12:49,542
I'm funny.
233
00:12:51,927 --> 00:12:52,927
All right.
234
00:12:54,202 --> 00:12:55,702
I got to go get ady.
235
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:58,100
Troy, wait!
I have to tell you...
236
00:13:04,023 --> 00:13:06,201
- My appendix is bursting.
- What?
237
00:13:08,726 --> 00:13:10,414
My appendix is bursting.
238
00:13:15,221 --> 00:13:16,671
Two young students.
239
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,330
Think I've been
to this dance before.
240
00:13:19,455 --> 00:13:21,215
You guys are sexual partners, right?
241
00:13:22,713 --> 00:13:25,053
Us? No.
He's my very good friend.
242
00:13:25,586 --> 00:13:26,847
And I have appendicitis.
243
00:13:31,221 --> 00:13:33,121
Thanks for bringing me here.
244
00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:35,313
Guess I ruined your date, huh?
245
00:13:35,782 --> 00:13:37,566
Doesn't seem to be
anything wrong with you.
246
00:13:38,383 --> 00:13:40,527
Cool. I'll see you.
247
00:13:43,588 --> 00:13:45,888
- Where does it hurt?
- Everywhere.
248
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:49,161
Okay, we have to quarantine you.
We got to get you to a safe distance.
249
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:51,976
- My date's on the east lawn.
- East lawn. Perfect.
250
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,792
This a date?
You'll need these.
251
00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:58,103
Nice. I'll be thinking of you.
252
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:00,714
Okay, I need to go.
253
00:14:00,883 --> 00:14:03,278
No, we...
We have to observe you overnight.
254
00:14:03,412 --> 00:14:04,412
It's policy.
255
00:14:04,790 --> 00:14:07,728
We don't want another
"Vanessa Parsons" on our hand.
256
00:14:07,853 --> 00:14:10,098
She was the "typhoid mary"
of herpes.
257
00:14:11,232 --> 00:14:14,582
I'm kind of the hawkeye
around here so it's kind of a...
258
00:14:15,473 --> 00:14:16,729
Are you seeing anybody?
259
00:14:20,922 --> 00:14:24,111
- You guys weren't in spanish class.
- Knight Rider marathon.
260
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,046
Shadowy flight into the world of a man
who does not exist.
261
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,080
May I have a word?
262
00:14:38,818 --> 00:14:41,630
- Has this always been here?
- You need to take Jeff back.
263
00:14:42,099 --> 00:14:43,683
Never had him. Don't want him.
264
00:14:43,808 --> 00:14:47,084
Especially now.
He's got a real Phil Spector vibe going.
265
00:14:48,097 --> 00:14:49,813
He's like E.T.
He crashed in my place.
266
00:14:49,938 --> 00:14:52,647
And we're friends now,
it's great for me, but it's bad for him.
267
00:14:52,942 --> 00:14:55,811
- He needs to get back.
- What am I supposed to do about that?
268
00:14:56,344 --> 00:14:57,437
Use your lady parts.
269
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,274
Don't be naive. The charge between you
was keeping him going.
270
00:15:02,004 --> 00:15:04,052
Tell him you'll make love to him
if he takes a shower
271
00:15:04,177 --> 00:15:05,569
and finds a nice place to live.
272
00:15:05,782 --> 00:15:08,240
I'm heading back.
Pavel's making babka.
273
00:15:09,397 --> 00:15:10,598
Do it. Seduce him.
274
00:15:10,723 --> 00:15:14,079
Draw the tapeworm of Jeff out of him
with your sexuality.
275
00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:18,016
Then say good-bye to E.T.
276
00:15:20,671 --> 00:15:21,971
Abed, it's open!
277
00:15:36,188 --> 00:15:38,487
What are you doing?
That was the Jeffersons, honky.
278
00:15:38,612 --> 00:15:41,862
I was wrong, okay?
Material possessions are important.
279
00:15:42,307 --> 00:15:44,124
Think how much happier
the Jeffersons were
280
00:15:44,249 --> 00:15:45,652
than that family on good times.
281
00:15:46,097 --> 00:15:49,035
- But they had good times.
- Well, do good times really matter?
282
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,723
What about good cars, good lobster?
283
00:15:51,848 --> 00:15:52,993
What about that...
284
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:54,995
That sport where the British people
285
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,516
ride the horses
with the really long hammers?
286
00:15:57,641 --> 00:15:59,666
Jeez, you are way out
of your element here.
287
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:02,686
Yes, and I do not believe a single word
I am saying for me.
288
00:16:02,811 --> 00:16:05,123
But for you, maybe you're one
of those rare people
289
00:16:05,248 --> 00:16:06,996
with nothing underneath the surface.
290
00:16:07,121 --> 00:16:09,872
Maybe if you put
stain remover on a turd,
291
00:16:09,997 --> 00:16:11,214
you don't get a diamond.
292
00:16:11,339 --> 00:16:14,179
You just get a turd
with less direction in life.
293
00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:16,516
Thanks, coach.
Can you turn the tv back on?
294
00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:26,526
- Faucets.
- Italian faucets, handcrafted.
295
00:16:26,856 --> 00:16:28,233
These look like...
296
00:16:28,358 --> 00:16:29,358
Wait...
297
00:16:30,287 --> 00:16:34,291
I made this notch to indicate
optimal cleansing temperature
298
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,545
for combination skin.
299
00:16:37,534 --> 00:16:38,543
These were mine?
300
00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:40,998
For a fancy condo,
you've got awful security.
301
00:16:41,262 --> 00:16:43,379
Install those in a new apartment
so that every day,
302
00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:45,869
when you're spending
way too much time on your hair,
303
00:16:45,994 --> 00:16:47,587
you can look down and think,
304
00:16:47,712 --> 00:16:50,934
"I was a huge phony before.
I can do it again!"
305
00:16:55,505 --> 00:16:58,350
- You're into me.
- I beg your unbelievable pardon.
306
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:02,437
Look at all this work you're doing
just to have me around again.
307
00:17:03,517 --> 00:17:06,107
You were may more attracted to me
than you were willing to admit.
308
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:08,944
I was doing this all for Abed.
You are the worst.
309
00:17:09,885 --> 00:17:11,085
Yeah. Clearly.
310
00:17:20,530 --> 00:17:23,115
I just want you to know,
I haven't changed my mind.
311
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,240
I am out.
312
00:17:28,309 --> 00:17:31,109
Also, do me a favor,
will you lay off Britta?
313
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,056
She may walk like
she just got off a horse,
314
00:17:34,181 --> 00:17:36,742
but underneath
all that clown makeup,
315
00:17:36,867 --> 00:17:38,511
she's a good kid.
316
00:17:39,655 --> 00:17:40,955
No worries, man.
317
00:17:42,490 --> 00:17:43,690
I've moved on.
318
00:17:44,651 --> 00:17:46,578
- Lates!
- Lates. Okay.
319
00:17:47,342 --> 00:17:48,525
Snakes. What?
320
00:17:57,774 --> 00:18:00,845
Pierce, I don't need you in my band.
321
00:18:01,931 --> 00:18:04,748
I don't need your heart
or your hand.
322
00:18:05,961 --> 00:18:07,916
I am my own person,
323
00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:10,005
and, Pierce, you're a b.
324
00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:12,254
Yeah, you heard me say it.
325
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:15,203
Pierce, you're a b.
326
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:25,550
Before you two proceed,
I have one thing to say...
327
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,152
Did you... say it already?
328
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:34,028
I want my blanket back.
329
00:18:36,305 --> 00:18:37,655
Do you guys mind?
330
00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:39,330
Could you scoot over?
331
00:18:39,455 --> 00:18:41,036
It's an heirloom.
I want it back.
332
00:18:44,001 --> 00:18:45,001
Thank you.
333
00:18:45,649 --> 00:18:46,708
Have a nice date.
334
00:18:50,277 --> 00:18:53,377
I don't care what you think.
For me, that was huge.
335
00:18:53,723 --> 00:18:56,573
I know, sweetie.
Let's go find you some pants.
336
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,976
This song's for Pierce
'cause he's so old
337
00:19:02,101 --> 00:19:03,989
His body made of wrinkles and folds.
338
00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:06,049
Stupid and ugly,
he smell like a fart,
339
00:19:06,174 --> 00:19:08,146
the poo-poo in his pants
and poo-poo in my heart.
340
00:19:09,912 --> 00:19:12,275
Look who the cat
dragged out and licked clean.
341
00:19:12,756 --> 00:19:14,152
I saw how much you missed me,
342
00:19:14,538 --> 00:19:17,178
and smelled what happens
to Pavel on cabbage night,
343
00:19:17,303 --> 00:19:20,158
and realized the world
was better off with me in it.
344
00:19:22,469 --> 00:19:23,469
Thanks...
345
00:19:24,301 --> 00:19:25,301
For, uh...
346
00:19:26,419 --> 00:19:27,419
Caring.
347
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,238
You look like you moved out.
348
00:19:32,363 --> 00:19:35,263
I checked into a motel
and I'm looking for apartments.
349
00:19:37,629 --> 00:19:39,678
You would've been fine with me
staying there forever?
350
00:19:39,803 --> 00:19:40,804
Yep.
351
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,676
- You're pretty cool, Abed.
- You're a huge nerd.
352
00:19:44,176 --> 00:19:45,176
Thanks.
353
00:19:53,438 --> 00:19:54,488
I'm Pierce.
354
00:19:55,008 --> 00:19:56,608
Yeah. Song's about me.
355
00:20:26,773 --> 00:20:29,018
East side, west side,
North side, south
356
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,765
Vaughn's breath is so bad,
His butts mad at his mouth
357
00:20:31,890 --> 00:20:34,297
This rap is by Pierce,
Vaughn is dumb
358
00:20:34,422 --> 00:20:37,091
He wears diapers to bed,
And sucks his mothers thumb
359
00:20:37,216 --> 00:20:39,632
And when he wakes up,
Stupid wishing he was me
360
00:20:39,757 --> 00:20:42,522
He has a big poop breakfast,
With a glass of pee
361
00:20:42,748 --> 00:20:44,972
Then he goes to school,
Where he's stupid again
362
00:20:45,187 --> 00:20:47,654
And everybody hates him,
Even all his friends
363
00:20:47,857 --> 00:20:50,246
When you come after Pierce,
Then the battle is on
364
00:20:50,371 --> 00:20:52,815
So this rap goes out,
To stupid Vaughn
365
00:20:55,867 --> 00:20:57,226
Well payed Pierce.
366
00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:58,840
This isn't over.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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