1
00:00:00,917 --> 00:00:01,951
- [blowing]
2
00:00:02,017 --> 00:00:02,851
Okay, you can
hear this? okay.
3
00:00:02,917 --> 00:00:04,584
Good morning.
4
00:00:04,650 --> 00:00:07,917
I'm here to kick off
the first day of new tradition
5
00:00:07,984 --> 00:00:10,784
At our school called
"green week."
6
00:00:10,851 --> 00:00:12,751
- what?
7
00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:14,283
First, we give a month
to black history,
8
00:00:14,350 --> 00:00:16,118
Now we're blowing
seven days on the irish.
9
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,484
- all this week,
greendale college
10
00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:20,884
Is becoming so earth-smart
11
00:00:20,951 --> 00:00:23,984
That we're changing
our name to envirodale!
12
00:00:24,051 --> 00:00:26,118
[sparse clapping]
13
00:00:26,184 --> 00:00:29,051
- but we were already
called greendale.
14
00:00:29,118 --> 00:00:30,383
[chuckles]
15
00:00:32,218 --> 00:00:36,283
Well, there's, um,
also going to be
16
00:00:36,350 --> 00:00:38,684
A free
rock and roll concert
17
00:00:38,751 --> 00:00:42,550
By a certain band
called green day.
18
00:00:42,617 --> 00:00:44,517
[more clapping,
whistling]
19
00:00:44,584 --> 00:00:45,917
Huh?
that make you happy?
20
00:00:45,984 --> 00:00:47,184
- eh, no. not really.
21
00:00:47,250 --> 00:00:49,050
- [whispering] okay,
we need to redo these.
22
00:00:49,117 --> 00:00:50,384
- we printed 5,000.
23
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,050
- well, print 5,000 more.
24
00:00:52,117 --> 00:00:53,217
I'm trying to save
the planet, here.
25
00:01:01,817 --> 00:01:03,750
- pencils down.
26
00:01:18,850 --> 00:01:20,351
[clears throat]
27
00:01:36,967 --> 00:01:40,300
I want you all to write
a one-page essay,
28
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:43,101
in espanol, entitled,
annie's mistake.
29
00:01:46,068 --> 00:01:48,600
- why doesn't annie
have to write it?
30
00:01:48,667 --> 00:01:52,534
- okay, two pages,
entitled,
31
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,967
the consequences
of questioning authority.
32
00:01:55,034 --> 00:01:56,801
- this is spanish 101.
33
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:57,967
I know how to say
"hello," "tomorrow,"
34
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,068
And that tables
are female.
35
00:01:59,134 --> 00:02:00,300
That's the only spanish
you taught us.
36
00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:04,967
- oh, six pages
on ignorance.
37
00:02:05,034 --> 00:02:07,168
- guys,
put your hands down.
38
00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:10,467
Senor chang, please continue.
we respect your authority.
39
00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:11,734
- thank you, britta.
40
00:02:11,801 --> 00:02:14,267
20 pages on ass kissing!
41
00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:16,101
Due on monday.
42
00:02:16,168 --> 00:02:17,600
- this monday?
43
00:02:17,634 --> 00:02:23,801
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:26,034
- you know, if senor chang
gets any crazier,
45
00:02:26,101 --> 00:02:28,068
He's gonna win
one of those grammy awards.
46
00:02:28,134 --> 00:02:29,767
[laughing]
47
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:34,101
- i've already
reported him to the dean.
48
00:02:34,168 --> 00:02:35,600
He said they've been trying
to fire him for three years,
49
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:37,068
But nobody wants his job.
50
00:02:37,134 --> 00:02:39,500
- mm-mm, i can't write
a 20-page paper.
51
00:02:39,567 --> 00:02:41,333
I got a presentation
in my marketing class on friday
52
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,101
And public speaking gives me
the nervous sweats.
53
00:02:44,168 --> 00:02:45,500
- i can help you
with that.
54
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,034
- i accept.
55
00:02:47,101 --> 00:02:48,767
That's how messed up
things are.
56
00:02:48,834 --> 00:02:50,467
- well,
we're screwed too.
57
00:02:50,534 --> 00:02:52,734
We're three days behind
on our biology lab.
58
00:02:52,801 --> 00:02:54,034
- the reason it's taking so long
is because troy's afraid--
59
00:02:54,101 --> 00:02:56,333
- i'm not afraid, abed.
60
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,667
I choose not to be around rats
because they are unpopular.
61
00:02:59,734 --> 00:03:01,467
Same goes for centipedes
and lakes.
62
00:03:01,534 --> 00:03:02,901
- there's only one solution.
63
00:03:02,967 --> 00:03:05,300
Someone has to go to chang
and talk to him.
64
00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,333
- i vote we all look at jeff
at the same time.
65
00:03:11,168 --> 00:03:14,068
- in a way,
all of you are right.
66
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,034
Okay, what
was i tuning out?
67
00:03:16,101 --> 00:03:18,634
- you have to get chang to
call off some of this homework.
68
00:03:18,701 --> 00:03:19,934
You're the one
with the silver tongue.
69
00:03:20,001 --> 00:03:22,067
- yeah, go tongue chang.
70
00:03:22,134 --> 00:03:24,234
- guys, what makes you think
i can convince chang of anything
71
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,900
If i can't even convince you
not to make me do it?
72
00:03:26,967 --> 00:03:28,267
- i guess it sounds crazy.
- oh...
73
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:30,067
- jeff does raise a good point.
- i don't get it.
74
00:03:30,134 --> 00:03:31,868
- wait,
you are convincing!
75
00:03:31,933 --> 00:03:33,167
- [gasps]
76
00:03:33,234 --> 00:03:34,634
- you just made us change.
you could do it.
77
00:03:34,701 --> 00:03:37,534
- you want me
to risk the "c"
78
00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:39,200
That i'm pulling
in that psycho's class
79
00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:40,801
By putting myself
on his radar?
80
00:03:40,868 --> 00:03:41,801
I mean, that guy
goes any more nuts,
81
00:03:41,868 --> 00:03:43,100
He's gonna win a grammy.
82
00:03:43,167 --> 00:03:44,300
[laughter]
- you are hilarious.
83
00:03:44,367 --> 00:03:45,768
- that's very funny.
- he's funny.
84
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:46,967
- what is it,
the chair?
85
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:47,601
- jeff, how do you think
86
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:49,267
You're gonna keep pulling
a "c" in that psycho's class
87
00:03:49,334 --> 00:03:51,000
If he keeps assigning
this much work?
88
00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:55,300
- because
i have you guys.
89
00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:57,768
- well, guess what,
handsome hobo.
90
00:03:57,834 --> 00:04:00,434
Your gravy train's
leavin' the station.
91
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:03,501
[imitates train]
92
00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:05,634
- ignore what she's doing.
we are serious.
93
00:04:05,701 --> 00:04:08,267
- fine. i'll do it.
94
00:04:08,334 --> 00:04:11,601
But when you find my body,
don't believe the suicide note.
95
00:04:16,933 --> 00:04:19,967
- hmm. this better not
awaken anything in me.
96
00:04:20,033 --> 00:04:21,768
- [knocks]
green day's here.
97
00:04:21,834 --> 00:04:23,234
- oh, wow.
98
00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,768
Okay,
what's this about, now?
99
00:04:30,834 --> 00:04:34,367
- we're greene daeye.
100
00:04:34,434 --> 00:04:35,601
- oh.
101
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:38,401
- [knocks]
102
00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:39,667
- what do you want,
winger?
103
00:04:39,734 --> 00:04:41,067
Here to complain
about the homework
104
00:04:41,134 --> 00:04:43,801
On behalf of the class?
105
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,801
- can i ask you a personal
question, senor chang?
106
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:49,200
- [laughs]
okay, freud.
107
00:04:49,267 --> 00:04:52,834
Sure. you try to penetrate
my psychological armor, and--
108
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:53,967
- did your wife
leave you?
109
00:04:54,033 --> 00:04:56,534
- holy--
[gasps]
110
00:04:56,601 --> 00:04:58,567
How did you know?
111
00:04:58,634 --> 00:05:00,100
- well, when you
pick juries,
112
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:02,300
You learn to read
the little stuff.
113
00:05:02,367 --> 00:05:03,667
Same shirt
twice in one week.
114
00:05:03,734 --> 00:05:06,834
teaching us the word
"esposa" means "liar."
115
00:05:06,900 --> 00:05:08,534
The picture of you
with a woman
116
00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:11,234
With a post-it note
dialogue balloon above her head
117
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:14,134
That says, "enjoy it
while it lasts."
118
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,801
- we met at a salsa club.
119
00:05:17,868 --> 00:05:19,267
- mm.
120
00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:19,901
- and, um...
121
00:05:22,168 --> 00:05:24,834
she loved
the way i danced.
122
00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:27,767
But...i mean,
you know how it goes.
123
00:05:27,834 --> 00:05:29,268
Just--get a job...
124
00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:31,567
- stop salsa dancing.
of course i know.
125
00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:34,333
- you make no mistake
about this, winger.
126
00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,001
I pleasured
that woman greatly.
127
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:38,967
- yeah. you look like
you would have to.
128
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:40,667
I'm not surprised
you said that.
129
00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:49,234
- i like you, winger.
130
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:55,567
Pickled bull testicle?
131
00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:59,168
- uh, are you offering
or collecting?
132
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:01,001
[air hisses]
133
00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:05,734
- * mary had a little lamb *
134
00:06:05,801 --> 00:06:08,400
* little lamb,
little lamb... *
135
00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:11,534
- * row, row,
row your boat *
136
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,300
- * somewhere out there *
137
00:06:15,367 --> 00:06:16,801
Troy, sing.
138
00:06:16,867 --> 00:06:19,067
The assignment is to train a rat
to respond to a specific song.
139
00:06:19,134 --> 00:06:20,600
- yeah, did you
have to pick a duet?
140
00:06:20,667 --> 00:06:23,101
Hmm?
- hmm?
141
00:06:25,801 --> 00:06:30,367
Both:
* somewhere out there *
142
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:33,534
* beneath
the pale moonlight *
143
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,567
- he did it!
good boy, fievel.
144
00:06:35,634 --> 00:06:37,700
Commencing reward.
i have to open the cage.
145
00:06:37,767 --> 00:06:39,201
- yeah, you don't have
to warn me; i'm not afrai--
146
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:41,867
[screams]
147
00:06:41,934 --> 00:06:43,867
[screaming]
148
00:06:43,934 --> 00:06:45,634
[laughter]
149
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:46,634
- fievel.
150
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,934
- everybody shut up!
151
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,667
I'll kick all your asses!
152
00:06:51,734 --> 00:06:55,134
But y'all have
to come up here!
153
00:06:55,201 --> 00:06:58,400
- [laughs]
dude, you are gonna be fine.
154
00:06:58,467 --> 00:07:00,834
- ah. yeah.
- you just have to move on.
155
00:07:00,901 --> 00:07:03,101
And if you hang out
with me sometime,
156
00:07:03,168 --> 00:07:05,667
You will see how great
single life can be.
157
00:07:05,734 --> 00:07:07,734
- yeah?
- yeah.
158
00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:08,667
- what about tonight?
159
00:07:09,734 --> 00:07:11,567
- absolutely.
160
00:07:11,634 --> 00:07:14,001
Oh, shoot.
161
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:17,734
My spanish study group has to
get together every night now.
162
00:07:17,801 --> 00:07:18,967
You know,
you have been really
163
00:07:19,034 --> 00:07:20,333
Letting us have it
with this homework.
164
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,534
- i really have,
haven't i?
165
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,433
- yeah.
166
00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:24,834
- tell you what.
167
00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:27,967
For my new buddy jeff,
essay canceled. sha-clackey.
168
00:07:28,034 --> 00:07:32,168
- fantastic. that is fantastic.
everybody will be so happy.
169
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:35,101
- oh, oh,
i didn't say everybody.
170
00:07:35,168 --> 00:07:37,734
It's for
my new friend jeff.
171
00:07:37,801 --> 00:07:39,168
I mean, you're the one
coming out with me, right?
172
00:07:39,234 --> 00:07:41,201
- right. yeah.
173
00:07:41,268 --> 00:07:44,201
- i suppose it will put you
in an unenviable
174
00:07:44,268 --> 00:07:45,967
And uncomfortable
position, and want to be--
175
00:07:46,034 --> 00:07:47,234
- here's your jacket.
let's do this.
176
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,333
- [knocks]
177
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,634
- is there a rat in here?
178
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:53,901
- i have no idea
what you're talking about.
179
00:07:53,967 --> 00:07:55,168
- abed.
180
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:06,634
- well, did you
talk to chang?
181
00:08:06,701 --> 00:08:09,767
- yeah, but it didn't
do any good.
182
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:11,334
My head still hurts
from all the yelling.
183
00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:13,601
And my pupils are
more sensitive to light
184
00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:15,133
Because he yelled
at me so much.
185
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,033
- oh, now i feel bad
that we made you do that.
186
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,101
Maybe we can help
with your essay.
187
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:23,468
- oh, that's okay.
i'm working on mine by myself.
188
00:08:23,534 --> 00:08:25,000
You could do
my homework next time.
189
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:27,733
See you in class.
190
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:28,734
- he's hiding something.
191
00:08:29,701 --> 00:08:31,667
- britta, jeff suffered for us.
give him a little credit.
192
00:08:31,734 --> 00:08:33,367
- yeah. you can be
pretty cold.
193
00:08:33,434 --> 00:08:34,467
- troy?
194
00:08:34,534 --> 00:08:37,267
Damn. Here comes Abed.
he needs my help.
195
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:38,234
I got to get out of here.
196
00:08:38,500 --> 00:08:40,600
- troy?
197
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:42,500
Have you guys seen a rat?
198
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:45,300
Troy knocked over
fievel's cage and he escaped.
199
00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:47,300
- oh, abed, i'm sorry.
200
00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:49,600
He probably
found more rats
201
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:51,434
And is very happy
living with them.
202
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:54,634
- try to join the rest of us
in reality, britta.
203
00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:57,500
- [trembling voice]
i believe that, uh,
204
00:08:57,567 --> 00:09:00,534
Fusing brownies
with the, uh, internet
205
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,534
Is going to create
the next napster
206
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,134
[clears throat]
for brownies.
207
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:05,801
- yawn!
208
00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:07,600
- can't i just
write it on cards?
209
00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:09,834
- no.
210
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:13,068
Do you know anybody
who reads from cards?
211
00:09:13,134 --> 00:09:16,367
No, you don't,
and that's why.
212
00:09:16,434 --> 00:09:19,434
Also you might
consider a darker top.
213
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:20,534
- note taken.
214
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,734
- oh, and...
[laughs]
215
00:09:22,801 --> 00:09:24,200
Don't--don't, uh,
lock your knees.
216
00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:25,600
Never lock your knees.
217
00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,168
You know what happens
when you lock your knees?
218
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,634
You die.
219
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:29,801
Second,
220
00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:31,767
When you want
to drive home a point,
221
00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:33,200
Hand them a sandwich.
222
00:09:33,267 --> 00:09:35,367
Try it.
hand them a sandwich.
223
00:09:35,434 --> 00:09:36,801
- hand them a sandwich.
224
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,967
- yeah, except you just dropped,
uh, the sandwich,
225
00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:41,100
As opposed
to handing it to them.
226
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:42,801
- hand them--oh, okay.
- right. so yeah.
227
00:09:42,868 --> 00:09:45,868
And try attention-grabbing words
to wake up the audience
228
00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:47,157
Such as, uh,
"multiple orgasm."
229
00:09:47,234 --> 00:09:49,367
- oh, no, no,
i don't think that would
230
00:09:49,434 --> 00:09:50,767
Really fit into my message.
231
00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:53,567
Maybe we should focus,
uh, more on, um, uh...
232
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,967
- yeah, and about these
filler words of yours.
233
00:09:56,034 --> 00:09:59,034
I mean, nobody wants to buy
brownies from somebody who says,
234
00:09:59,101 --> 00:10:01,134
"um," and "like."
235
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,734
I have a method for fixing that.
start from the top.
236
00:10:03,801 --> 00:10:05,434
- okay.
[clears throat]
237
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,101
These brownies are, um--
238
00:10:07,168 --> 00:10:08,934
- uh!
239
00:10:09,001 --> 00:10:10,101
- they, um--
240
00:10:10,168 --> 00:10:12,267
- uh!
241
00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:14,233
- these brownies are...
242
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,267
Delicious.
243
00:10:16,333 --> 00:10:18,567
They taste like--
- like!
244
00:10:18,634 --> 00:10:19,767
- that's not a filler word.
245
00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:21,434
- whatever, valley girl.
246
00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:26,934
- the difference
between usted and tu
247
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,734
Is a matter of formality.
248
00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:32,667
pepe, usted es viejo.
249
00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:35,434
"you are old."
250
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:39,701
alberto, usted es feo.
251
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:41,967
"you are ugly."
252
00:10:42,034 --> 00:10:43,734
- no, you're not, abed.
- thanks.
253
00:10:43,801 --> 00:10:45,400
Shakira...
254
00:10:45,467 --> 00:10:46,767
Shakira...
255
00:10:46,834 --> 00:10:50,200
y tupaco...
256
00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:53,701
ustedes estan sucios.
257
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:55,901
"you are dirty."
258
00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:56,967
- dirty?
[gasps]
259
00:10:57,034 --> 00:10:58,901
- still formal,
but plural.
260
00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:01,300
Because,
while both are dirty,
261
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,200
Neither are my friends.
262
00:11:03,267 --> 00:11:04,333
Okay?
263
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,867
And, on another subject,
264
00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:07,934
Hope you guys are working hard
on your essays.
265
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,034
Because that's gonna be
30% of your grade.
266
00:11:10,101 --> 00:11:11,233
[all gasp]
- no.
267
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,567
- jeff...already turned in
his essay.
268
00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:15,567
Great job.
269
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,001
- thanks.
270
00:11:17,068 --> 00:11:19,367
- as soon as you turn in
your essays on monday,
271
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:21,300
There's gonna be
a big-ass quiz.
272
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,967
So study hard.
class dismissed.
273
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,301
Ahh.
274
00:11:28,368 --> 00:11:29,400
- [laughing]
hey, dude.
275
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:31,834
- crazy night
last night, man.
276
00:11:31,901 --> 00:11:33,934
- hey, when you go out with me,
it gets crazy.
277
00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:36,067
That's the winger guarantee,
huh?
278
00:11:36,134 --> 00:11:38,034
- dude, let's do it again.
279
00:11:38,101 --> 00:11:39,734
- ooh, yeah, i want to.
280
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,567
It's just the quiz,
you know?
281
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,334
Study, study.
282
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,001
- well, how 'bout this?
283
00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:47,301
Bling.
284
00:11:47,368 --> 00:11:48,533
A-plus.
285
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,967
Nice work, winger!
286
00:11:50,034 --> 00:11:52,034
- you know, i knew i could do it
if i applied myself.
287
00:11:52,101 --> 00:11:53,234
[both laughing]
288
00:11:53,301 --> 00:11:54,734
- cher--cherry daiquiri.
289
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,700
- [laughing]
cherry daiquiri!
290
00:11:56,767 --> 00:11:57,634
- daiquiri.
291
00:11:59,667 --> 00:12:01,800
- [weakly] uh-huh.
292
00:12:01,867 --> 00:12:03,001
Later.
293
00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:04,433
- you devious clump
294
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,268
Of overpriced fabric
and hair product.
295
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:07,634
- speaking
as one of the meek,
296
00:12:07,700 --> 00:12:09,234
As soon as i inherit
the earth, you a dead man.
297
00:12:09,301 --> 00:12:11,634
- you got a weird forehead.
298
00:12:11,700 --> 00:12:13,167
- we're all
very disappointed.
299
00:12:13,234 --> 00:12:14,767
- all right, dial it back
a little, britta.
300
00:12:14,834 --> 00:12:16,533
- if anyone should
be disappointed, it's me.
301
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:18,867
What kind of a group
threatens to kick someone out
302
00:12:18,934 --> 00:12:20,301
Unless he helps them?
303
00:12:20,368 --> 00:12:22,433
- what kind of a person
is asked to help other people
304
00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:23,600
And then helps himself!
305
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:24,533
- yeah.
- mm-hmm.
306
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:26,167
- helps himself?
307
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:28,167
I don't think i like
being talked to that way!
308
00:12:28,234 --> 00:12:31,334
- he's using fake outrage
to justify leaving.
309
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:33,634
- fake outrage?
justify my--
310
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,334
Yeah, that's it.
i'm out of here.
311
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,700
- oh, you're breaking up
with the group?
312
00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,400
- that's what you guys want.
313
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,533
- it's all right,
i've been divorced seven times.
314
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,800
Don't answer your phones
315
00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:45,167
And bury all your money
in the backyard.
316
00:12:45,234 --> 00:12:45,834
- here you go.
317
00:12:45,901 --> 00:12:47,467
Look at pierce's paragraph
from unit two.
318
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:52,400
- let's see. "I took a computer class..."
319
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,600
The apple store.
320
00:12:53,667 --> 00:12:54,967
Adorable.
- keep going, keep going.
321
00:12:55,034 --> 00:12:59,734
- and the saleswoman
had manzanas gigante.
322
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,001
Ruined it.
323
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,500
- can you imagine
being married to him?
324
00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:03,901
- seven times!
325
00:13:03,967 --> 00:13:07,001
Seven different women
agreed to marry that guy.
326
00:13:07,067 --> 00:13:08,400
- it's cra--
[laughing]
327
00:13:08,467 --> 00:13:13,134
- [high-pitched sobbing]
328
00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:14,600
I'm so alone.
329
00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:16,867
I'm so lonely!
330
00:13:16,934 --> 00:13:17,467
I want to die.
331
00:13:17,533 --> 00:13:19,734
- come on man, it--
come on, don't do that.
332
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,400
- [catching his breath]
333
00:13:22,467 --> 00:13:24,201
I...
334
00:13:24,268 --> 00:13:26,667
Just miss her so much.
- yeah.
335
00:13:26,734 --> 00:13:28,334
- [sobbing] i'm sorry.
336
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,634
This is so stupid.
- no, no, it's fine.
337
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,067
It's just--buddy,
you know...
338
00:13:32,134 --> 00:13:35,567
- it's dumb!
- i can see that you're hurting.
339
00:13:35,634 --> 00:13:37,001
Um, but i have to get
to accounting.
340
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:38,301
And it's not like i'm hitting
strip clubs
341
00:13:38,368 --> 00:13:39,467
With professor whitman.
342
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:41,800
- you better not be!
- what?
343
00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:43,901
- all i ask [sniffles]
344
00:13:43,967 --> 00:13:46,467
Is for you to keep
filling the void in my soul.
345
00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:49,001
- well, i'll have
to think of something.
346
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:52,002
Let me rest gently on your pecs.
347
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:56,401
- best closer to a presentation,
a nicholson quote.
348
00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:59,234
Uh, you take a phrase
from one of his films
349
00:13:59,301 --> 00:14:00,700
And you tailor it
to your product.
350
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:02,834
You can't handle
a moist towelette!
351
00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:04,534
Something like that,
you know?
352
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,800
But you can't use that one.
that's--that's mine.
353
00:14:06,867 --> 00:14:08,201
- thanks, pierce.
- sure.
354
00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:10,000
- i'm just gonna
write it on some cards.
355
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,367
- okay.
356
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:15,468
Just don't let anybody know
i was involved.
357
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,000
- why do you care so much?
358
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:32,234
- i don't.
359
00:14:32,301 --> 00:14:33,501
- because fievel's
going to die.
360
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,568
- i'd rather die than listen.
361
00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:37,000
- who's going to die?
- yeah.
362
00:14:37,067 --> 00:14:38,234
- the dean says
the exterminator is coming
363
00:14:38,301 --> 00:14:39,600
Because of our rat.
364
00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,900
- i'd like to exterminate
this conversation.
365
00:14:41,967 --> 00:14:43,434
- what are you doing?
366
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:44,501
- he's sitting
in jeff's chair,
367
00:14:44,568 --> 00:14:45,434
So he's trying
to act like jeff.
368
00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:47,568
All: oh!
369
00:14:47,633 --> 00:14:50,000
[groaning] ohh.
370
00:14:50,067 --> 00:14:51,733
- oh, an email.
371
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:52,400
- i thought you might
want to help me out
372
00:14:52,467 --> 00:14:54,001
Because we are friends.
373
00:14:54,068 --> 00:14:55,801
- abed, take it from
a former prom king.
374
00:14:55,867 --> 00:14:58,567
real friends
help me with things.
375
00:14:58,634 --> 00:14:59,701
Not vice versa.
376
00:14:59,767 --> 00:15:01,634
- i would face my fears
to help you.
377
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,567
- exactly!
'cause you're my friend.
378
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:06,834
- am i?
379
00:15:06,901 --> 00:15:08,834
* somewhere *
380
00:15:08,901 --> 00:15:11,434
* out there *
381
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:12,934
- oh, abed.
382
00:15:13,001 --> 00:15:13,834
- * beneath the pale... *
383
00:15:13,901 --> 00:15:14,568
- he gets any nuttier,
384
00:15:14,633 --> 00:15:15,468
they're gonna
put him on the view.
385
00:15:15,534 --> 00:15:17,167
[laughter]
386
00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:18,501
- that works, yeah.
387
00:15:18,568 --> 00:15:20,633
- what are we gonna do?
we gonna study?
388
00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:21,800
- oh, my--
389
00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:23,434
- fievel?
390
00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:25,167
Fievel?
391
00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:26,134
Fievel?
392
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:29,867
[whispers] fievel.
393
00:15:29,934 --> 00:15:31,867
- whoo! whoo! whoo!
394
00:15:31,934 --> 00:15:33,434
[laughs] okay, thank you.
395
00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:35,700
Green week
was a rousing success
396
00:15:35,767 --> 00:15:38,501
Here at greendale.
[laughs]
397
00:15:38,568 --> 00:15:40,568
And now for our band,
greene daeye!
398
00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:41,934
By the way, they're not
the real green day.
399
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,034
Thought we should just
rip that band-aid off quickly.
400
00:15:44,101 --> 00:15:45,867
Okay!
401
00:15:45,934 --> 00:15:48,468
[audience groans and boos]
402
00:15:48,534 --> 00:15:50,167
- [laughing] hey!
what's up?
403
00:15:50,234 --> 00:15:51,334
Just got your text, man.
404
00:15:51,401 --> 00:15:53,201
Wanna hang out?
405
00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:55,201
'cause if you don't,
i will fail you.
406
00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:58,633
- actually, i had an idea
for an extra credit project.
407
00:15:58,700 --> 00:15:59,967
- [irish accent]
we've been asked
408
00:16:00,034 --> 00:16:02,568
To dedicate
our first song
409
00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:06,367
To senor and senora chang.
410
00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:07,534
- [gasps]
411
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,367
She said she didn't
want to talk to me.
412
00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,934
- i didn't tell her
you wanted to talk.
413
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:18,301
- estimation
of market value
414
00:16:18,367 --> 00:16:20,800
Of--of--of brownies has--
415
00:16:20,867 --> 00:16:23,733
Ahem! i, uh--
target group--
416
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,301
- ms. bennett, i'm afraid
i have to ask you
417
00:16:26,367 --> 00:16:27,600
To put down the cards.
418
00:16:30,301 --> 00:16:33,534
- * somewhere *
419
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,667
* out there *
420
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:40,700
* beneath the pale moonlight *
421
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,834
- uh...
422
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,633
I--i--
- * someone's *
423
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:48,867
* thinking of me *
424
00:16:48,934 --> 00:16:55,568
* and loving me tonight *
425
00:16:55,633 --> 00:16:58,633
[up-tempo irish jig]
426
00:17:01,733 --> 00:17:05,134
- * somewhere *
427
00:17:05,201 --> 00:17:07,900
* out there *
428
00:17:07,967 --> 00:17:13,401
* someone's saying a prayer *
429
00:17:13,468 --> 00:17:15,800
- they are...wonderful.
430
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:18,468
We all love...brownies.
431
00:17:18,534 --> 00:17:20,934
- * one another *
432
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,934
- if you love brownies,
you love life.
433
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,667
- * somewhere out there *
434
00:17:27,134 --> 00:17:29,501
* and even though i know *
435
00:17:29,568 --> 00:17:34,000
* how very far apart we are *
436
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,967
* it helps to think
we might be wishing *
437
00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:40,167
* on the same bright star *
438
00:17:40,234 --> 00:17:43,134
* and when the night wind
starts to sing *
439
00:17:43,201 --> 00:17:46,334
* a lonesome lullaby *
440
00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:48,700
* it helps to think
we're sleeping *
441
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,201
* underneath
that same big sky *
442
00:17:51,267 --> 00:17:52,633
- * aah *
443
00:17:55,201 --> 00:17:57,900
- * somewhere *
444
00:17:57,967 --> 00:18:00,201
* out there *
445
00:18:00,267 --> 00:18:06,201
* if love can
see us through *
446
00:18:06,267 --> 00:18:08,534
- here's brownie!
447
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:13,034
- * then we'll be together *
448
00:18:13,101 --> 00:18:15,468
* somewhere out there *
449
00:18:15,534 --> 00:18:19,301
* out where dreams *
450
00:18:19,367 --> 00:18:24,201
* come true *
451
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:28,401
- [high-pitched screaming]
aah, it's on my leg!
452
00:18:28,468 --> 00:18:30,000
It's on my leg!
it's on my leg!
453
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,468
Aaaaah!
454
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:36,568
Disgusting!
455
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:39,967
- thank you.
456
00:18:40,034 --> 00:18:42,900
- what's chang doing?
457
00:18:42,967 --> 00:18:44,234
[cheers and applause]
458
00:18:44,301 --> 00:18:46,434
- uh...
459
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,700
He's getting a refill
on his void.
460
00:18:48,767 --> 00:18:51,000
- i got an "a"
on my presentation,
461
00:18:51,067 --> 00:18:52,633
And a lot of the credit
goes to pierce.
462
00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:54,934
- heh.
and i had a great sandwich.
463
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,468
- we found the stupid rat.
464
00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:58,067
And abed's gonna
shut up about it now.
465
00:18:58,134 --> 00:19:01,000
- it's true.
466
00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:01,800
- i have something to say.
467
00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,900
I've been
a horrible husband.
468
00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:07,067
And i've been
a horrible teacher.
469
00:19:07,134 --> 00:19:09,600
And i'd like to thank
my student jeff winger
470
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:11,000
For showing me that
471
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,900
And helping me
fix my marriage.
472
00:19:12,967 --> 00:19:16,401
No more 20-page essays
due on monday!
473
00:19:16,468 --> 00:19:18,201
- oh, that's nice!
- thank you.
474
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:20,600
- although, winger,
475
00:19:20,667 --> 00:19:22,900
You should write
a one-page essay called
476
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:26,468
taking advantage
of the emotionally-vulnerable.
477
00:19:26,534 --> 00:19:27,401
[thud]
booyah.
478
00:19:30,401 --> 00:19:33,201
- you did that for us?
479
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:35,267
- mm, kinda.
480
00:19:35,334 --> 00:19:37,267
[irish jig playing]
481
00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:39,201
You know, i thought
hanging out with you guys
482
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:40,800
Was the worst way
to pass spanish.
483
00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:41,800
I was wrong.
484
00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:43,434
- uh, we're the best.
485
00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:46,667
- jeff, i'm sorry i called you
a handsome hobo.
486
00:19:46,733 --> 00:19:48,468
If you need help
with that essay,
487
00:19:48,534 --> 00:19:50,301
You can rejoin the group.
488
00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:51,600
- thanks.
489
00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,600
What are you guys
talking to me for?
490
00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:54,667
You go dance!
491
00:19:54,733 --> 00:19:56,067
- [squeals]
492
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,434
- i know your secret.
493
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:04,434
I know about the chair.
494
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:20,284
- whoa, what model
did you get?
495
00:20:20,351 --> 00:20:22,184
- it's the tsunami 3000
anniversary edition.
496
00:20:22,251 --> 00:20:23,184
You?
497
00:20:23,251 --> 00:20:24,750
- the devil's drench xj-11.
498
00:20:24,817 --> 00:20:26,284
This is gonna be awesome.
499
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:27,483
We should establish
base camps.
500
00:20:27,550 --> 00:20:28,850
What part of the library
do you want?
501
00:20:28,917 --> 00:20:30,217
- i'll take the northeast.
502
00:20:30,284 --> 00:20:31,784
Northeast is closest
to the drinking fountain--
503
00:20:31,850 --> 00:20:33,850
- all right, guys,
are we gonna do this thing?
504
00:20:33,917 --> 00:20:35,784
- [laughing] pierce.
505
00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:37,284
I hope that's the tiny gun
506
00:20:37,351 --> 00:20:38,750
That you throw at us
to confuse us
507
00:20:38,817 --> 00:20:40,051
While you grab
the giant gun
508
00:20:40,117 --> 00:20:41,483
That's duct-taped
to your back.
509
00:20:41,550 --> 00:20:42,717
- seriously, this hardly
seems like a fair fight.
510
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:45,284
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
511
00:20:45,351 --> 00:20:48,017
Oh, it's pepper water!
oh, it's pep--
512
00:20:48,084 --> 00:20:49,717
Who puts pepper in water?
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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