1 00:00:05,223 --> 00:00:06,608 *** 2 00:00:06,915 --> 00:00:08,557 .........bus driver, right? 3 00:00:08,558 --> 00:00:09,932 Because you been travelin' all day? 4 00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:11,599 Because I'm taking your butt to school. 5 00:00:14,565 --> 00:00:15,404 Nice. 6 00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:17,161 Cool, I'm up. 7 00:00:17,162 --> 00:00:18,911 Nuh-uh. Game's to 15. 8 00:00:18,912 --> 00:00:20,552 - Since when? - Since you scored 11. 9 00:00:20,553 --> 00:00:22,505 Sorry, Abed, I have to finish kicking Troy's butt 10 00:00:22,506 --> 00:00:23,513 before I can get to yours. 11 00:00:23,514 --> 00:00:25,328 See? All that angry talk about butts. 12 00:00:25,329 --> 00:00:27,061 "Kick your butt. Stomp your butt. 13 00:00:27,062 --> 00:00:27,836 Punch your butt." 14 00:00:27,837 --> 00:00:29,173 Do they say, "punch your butt"? 15 00:00:29,174 --> 00:00:31,612 Point being hatred of each other's butts. 16 00:00:31,613 --> 00:00:34,028 Men play sports so they can seek out and destroy 17 00:00:34,029 --> 00:00:35,377 their own sensitivity. 18 00:00:35,378 --> 00:00:37,487 Oh! I never thought about it that way. 19 00:00:37,488 --> 00:00:38,996 Do you think we'll learn about stuff like that 20 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:40,376 in our women's studies class? 21 00:00:40,377 --> 00:00:41,212 Hell, no! 22 00:00:41,213 --> 00:00:42,870 We're gonna find our roots in that class. 23 00:00:42,871 --> 00:00:45,275 And stop defining our gender by theirs. 24 00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:46,199 Well, I feel bad saying it, 25 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,634 but it will be nice to get away from the boys 26 00:00:47,635 --> 00:00:49,322 and take a class with just us. 27 00:00:49,323 --> 00:00:52,870 Amen. Or "a-wo-men." 28 00:00:53,164 --> 00:00:54,133 Am I right? 29 00:00:54,134 --> 00:00:55,851 Bring it in for a boob bump, ladies. 30 00:00:55,852 --> 00:00:58,035 Uh... Nope? 31 00:00:58,158 --> 00:00:59,311 We'll get there. 32 00:00:59,706 --> 00:01:00,924 Hey, guys. 33 00:01:01,083 --> 00:01:02,158 Remember last week when you were 34 00:01:02,159 --> 00:01:03,875 playing with those remote control cars 35 00:01:03,876 --> 00:01:05,454 and you thought you were real cool? 36 00:01:05,455 --> 00:01:06,802 Well, turns out you're not. 37 00:01:07,929 --> 00:01:10,236 Draganflyer, bee-otch. 38 00:01:11,083 --> 00:01:12,307 Yep, uh, four propellers. 39 00:01:12,308 --> 00:01:14,406 It's got a built-in spy cam. 40 00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,673 100 yards. 41 00:01:16,742 --> 00:01:19,034 And it'll strangle your stupid cars' little butts. 42 00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,835 - Pierce, we're in a game. - Yeah. 43 00:01:21,142 --> 00:01:22,969 And we're really not into R.C. anymore. 44 00:01:22,970 --> 00:01:25,501 What? It's... it's a draganflyer. 45 00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:31,703 Come on, Pierce, man. This is a school. 46 00:01:31,704 --> 00:01:33,157 - I can't control it. - Watch it. 47 00:01:33,158 --> 00:01:34,436 There's a little pilot in there. 48 00:01:34,437 --> 00:01:35,756 - It's not funny, Pierce! - Propellers are sharp! 49 00:01:35,757 --> 00:01:36,709 Stop it! 50 00:01:39,868 --> 00:01:41,279 Knuckle walkers! 51 00:01:41,406 --> 00:01:42,640 Ahh. 52 00:01:42,719 --> 00:01:44,072 Sorry, it was an accident. 53 00:01:44,073 --> 00:01:45,494 So was the "y" chromosome, 54 00:01:45,495 --> 00:01:47,607 but you don't see us throwing stuff at it. 55 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:48,927 Oh, ho-ho-ho. 56 00:01:51,768 --> 00:01:52,809 Where you guys going? 57 00:01:52,810 --> 00:01:54,783 Away from your symbolically invasive balls 58 00:01:54,784 --> 00:01:56,567 to a women's studies class. 59 00:01:57,674 --> 00:01:59,066 Which women's studies class? 60 00:01:59,076 --> 00:02:01,343 Feminist representations in media. 61 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,383 - I'm in. - Oh, uh, Abed, 62 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:05,530 we kind of thought this would be something just for the girls. 63 00:02:05,531 --> 00:02:06,608 Sounds like it. 64 00:02:06,609 --> 00:02:08,130 I'd love to learn more about you. 65 00:02:08,131 --> 00:02:10,128 I'll change out of my sports clothes and meet you there. 66 00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:12,357 - Uh... - We...Um... 67 00:02:15,258 --> 00:02:16,713 * You just lost 68 00:02:16,967 --> 00:02:22,323 you just lost a game you just lost you just lost a game 69 00:02:22,522 --> 00:02:24,387 with Troy * - Uhh! 70 00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,072 Hey, sore loser. 71 00:02:29,343 --> 00:02:30,632 Yeah...Proud of it. 72 00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:31,883 I want a rematch. 73 00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:29,009 Hey, guys. 74 00:03:29,010 --> 00:03:30,504 I raced here so I could save us four seats. 75 00:03:31,429 --> 00:03:32,525 Thanks, Abed. 76 00:03:32,526 --> 00:03:35,922 But...Annie can't see the board from this far back. 77 00:03:35,923 --> 00:03:37,332 She lost her glasses. 78 00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,371 I've never seen you wear glasses. 79 00:03:38,372 --> 00:03:39,659 Yeah, I usually wear contacts, 80 00:03:39,660 --> 00:03:42,256 but I couldn't find them... Without my glasses. 81 00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:43,700 Which I wear. 82 00:03:44,245 --> 00:03:45,359 Cool-cool-cool. 83 00:03:46,248 --> 00:03:47,293 Are we bad people? 84 00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:48,844 No. I love Abed. 85 00:03:48,845 --> 00:03:50,392 But sometimes he can't take a hint. 86 00:03:50,393 --> 00:03:52,445 We told him... this is a girl thing. 87 00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:53,649 Ahem. 88 00:03:53,768 --> 00:03:54,773 'Scuse me. 89 00:03:55,075 --> 00:03:56,114 We were gonna sit there. 90 00:03:56,115 --> 00:03:57,951 Oh, uh, sorry. We didn't know. 91 00:03:57,952 --> 00:04:01,362 But now we're sitting here, so... That's the problem. 92 00:04:01,363 --> 00:04:03,626 You don't seriously expect us to get up 93 00:04:03,627 --> 00:04:05,428 and change seats for you? 94 00:04:05,429 --> 00:04:08,542 Well, if you're further in back, less people will see your roots. 95 00:04:08,662 --> 00:04:10,590 Um...Excuse me? 96 00:04:10,591 --> 00:04:13,173 Oh, the way you excuse your little moustache hairs? 97 00:04:13,174 --> 00:04:14,971 Uh, you know what? 98 00:04:14,972 --> 00:04:15,843 We're good people. 99 00:04:15,844 --> 00:04:17,846 So we will find seats elsewhere. 100 00:04:17,847 --> 00:04:19,273 It's called the high road. 101 00:04:19,274 --> 00:04:20,974 I hope it leads to a salon. 102 00:04:25,631 --> 00:04:26,402 You're back. 103 00:04:26,403 --> 00:04:28,277 I've seen 'em before. The leader's name is Meghan. 104 00:04:28,278 --> 00:04:30,187 Of course! Why name your daughter Meghan? 105 00:04:30,188 --> 00:04:31,941 Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage? 106 00:04:31,942 --> 00:04:32,781 Which one's Meghan? 107 00:04:32,782 --> 00:04:33,990 The one with the hole in her sweater's armpit, 108 00:04:33,991 --> 00:04:35,297 or the one whose tight sleeves are pushing her fat 109 00:04:35,298 --> 00:04:36,686 toward her elbows? 110 00:04:37,852 --> 00:04:39,835 No, those are her cronies. 111 00:04:39,836 --> 00:04:40,830 So Meghan's the one with the crooked ears 112 00:04:40,831 --> 00:04:43,011 - and no ankles? - Ha! Damn. 113 00:04:43,012 --> 00:04:44,553 Sorry, I over-described again? 114 00:04:44,554 --> 00:04:45,653 Oh, no, Abed. 115 00:04:45,654 --> 00:04:47,844 Describe those girls all you want. 116 00:04:47,845 --> 00:04:49,626 Yeah. In fact, what are you doing for lunch? 117 00:04:49,627 --> 00:04:51,481 It's Wednesday. Sometimes I eat in Jeff's car. 118 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:52,862 Don't tell him. 119 00:04:55,638 --> 00:04:57,058 Troy, where are you? 120 00:04:58,072 --> 00:05:00,704 You would go this far to avoid a rematch? 121 00:05:05,883 --> 00:05:06,848 Jeff! 122 00:05:07,198 --> 00:05:08,491 What is this thing? 123 00:05:08,746 --> 00:05:11,939 In my line of work, a multimillion dollar injury suit. 124 00:05:12,664 --> 00:05:14,642 I thought schools got rid of these things. 125 00:05:15,350 --> 00:05:17,133 I can't believe Greendale allows it. 126 00:05:17,259 --> 00:05:18,606 Greendale doesn't. 127 00:05:19,116 --> 00:05:20,484 That's why it's hidden. 128 00:05:21,142 --> 00:05:22,476 Who else saw you come in? 129 00:05:22,477 --> 00:05:23,618 If we say nobody, 130 00:05:23,619 --> 00:05:26,080 are you doing to stab us with your bush scissors? 131 00:05:26,661 --> 00:05:27,895 Of course not. 132 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:29,843 I'm Joshua. 133 00:05:30,116 --> 00:05:32,868 And this is a place of peace and balance. 134 00:05:32,869 --> 00:05:34,368 A place of nourishment. 135 00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:37,002 A place free from darkness. 136 00:05:37,106 --> 00:05:38,732 Because there's a trampoline? 137 00:05:38,894 --> 00:05:42,257 There is something cool about being up here, Jeff. 138 00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:45,261 I mean, at first I was just jumping, but then... 139 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,753 But then you started bouncing... 140 00:05:47,342 --> 00:05:49,000 Like a baby on the knee of a goddess. 141 00:05:49,001 --> 00:05:49,961 Yes! 142 00:05:50,176 --> 00:05:51,202 Yes. 143 00:05:51,311 --> 00:05:53,365 Jeff, get on. 144 00:05:53,366 --> 00:05:55,588 Ah, one at a time, please. 145 00:05:55,643 --> 00:05:58,009 I must as you to adhere to two simple principles. 146 00:05:58,010 --> 00:06:02,305 First, for this place to survive, it must stay secret. 147 00:06:02,548 --> 00:06:03,652 And second... 148 00:06:04,418 --> 00:06:06,855 No double bounces. 149 00:06:11,451 --> 00:06:12,849 Feet shoulder width apart. 150 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:14,578 Knees bent. 151 00:06:15,079 --> 00:06:16,299 And just breathe. 152 00:06:16,775 --> 00:06:19,204 At the apex of each bounce there is a moment, 153 00:06:19,205 --> 00:06:23,695 outside of time, outside of words... Outside of everything. 154 00:06:24,023 --> 00:06:27,046 A perfect moment. A silent moment. 155 00:06:34,371 --> 00:06:36,334 I call it the world's whisper. 156 00:06:36,551 --> 00:06:38,869 Wow...You're right. 157 00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:43,154 And I don't mind admitting you're right, which is weird. 158 00:06:44,456 --> 00:06:47,450 30 seconds on this thing, and I already feel... Jeff... 159 00:06:48,122 --> 00:06:49,860 You've been up there for an hour. 160 00:06:57,641 --> 00:06:58,486 Yes. 161 00:07:03,044 --> 00:07:05,457 Okay, Abed, girl in the pink... go. 162 00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,362 Her forehead hangs over her head like a canopy. 163 00:07:07,375 --> 00:07:09,925 She missed a belt loop, and her stomach spills over her shorts. 164 00:07:10,642 --> 00:07:13,414 - Target destroyed. - What brutality. 165 00:07:13,415 --> 00:07:15,319 It's called a muffin top, Abed. 166 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,266 Like a muffin? Clever. 167 00:07:17,762 --> 00:07:19,634 But you guys said it's rude to focus on imperfections. 168 00:07:19,635 --> 00:07:20,927 This the stuff I'm supposed to filter, right? 169 00:07:20,928 --> 00:07:21,921 Absolutely, Abed. 170 00:07:21,922 --> 00:07:23,353 It's just kind of a guilty pleasure 171 00:07:23,354 --> 00:07:25,332 to hear it about... certain girls. 172 00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:27,616 Like Meghan and her friends, because they're bitches. 173 00:07:28,575 --> 00:07:31,202 That's nice. Uh, who needs a soda? 174 00:07:31,203 --> 00:07:32,305 I'll get it... I'm making you guys so happy, 175 00:07:32,306 --> 00:07:33,266 I want to keep it going. 176 00:07:33,267 --> 00:07:34,584 Aww... 177 00:07:35,753 --> 00:07:38,228 Okay, I love Abed so much. 178 00:07:38,229 --> 00:07:40,063 I know, it's like he's one of the girls. 179 00:07:40,064 --> 00:07:41,305 Uh, guys. 180 00:07:43,988 --> 00:07:46,259 Yeah, do you mind not looking at me? 181 00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:47,810 I don't know, do you mind that your face makeup 182 00:07:47,811 --> 00:07:49,008 doesn't match your neck? 183 00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:50,791 When I squint, you look like a circus clown. 184 00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:55,977 Okay, I beg your pardon, geek... 185 00:07:56,099 --> 00:07:58,157 I don't even know your peanut-headed ass. 186 00:07:58,158 --> 00:07:59,005 You're right, we've never met. 187 00:07:59,006 --> 00:08:00,301 Like your hair and dandruff shampoo. 188 00:08:00,431 --> 00:08:03,382 Hoo hoo! Filet of Meghan, service for one. 189 00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:06,267 Okay, Abed, let's get back to the table. 190 00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:08,932 Yeah, Abed. Go with your skank. 191 00:08:08,933 --> 00:08:11,121 Or keep going. Up to you. 192 00:08:11,122 --> 00:08:13,221 Keep going about what, her uneven bra padding? 193 00:08:13,222 --> 00:08:15,020 You look like you're smuggling a lime and a coconut. 194 00:08:15,021 --> 00:08:17,077 - Ooh! - Go away, loser. 195 00:08:17,078 --> 00:08:18,921 Good one... tell that to the stitching on your ratty panties, 196 00:08:18,922 --> 00:08:20,464 or wear higher jeans on laundry day. 197 00:08:21,608 --> 00:08:24,346 Damn, that diss made me snarf, yo! 198 00:08:24,391 --> 00:08:26,083 You know what? You're dead. 199 00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:27,491 You're bowlegged. 200 00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,831 Bye. See ya. 201 00:08:29,832 --> 00:08:31,242 Women of Greendale! 202 00:08:31,243 --> 00:08:34,819 This cafeteria has been declared a bitch-free zone! 203 00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:35,914 Yeah! 204 00:08:55,376 --> 00:08:57,203 Can't tell you how great I feel right now. 205 00:08:57,266 --> 00:08:59,756 I wasn't sure that you would take to the trampoline's ways. 206 00:08:59,757 --> 00:09:00,928 Some can't. 207 00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,897 And some are just natural jumpers. 208 00:09:06,157 --> 00:09:07,248 See you tomorrow, Joshua. 209 00:09:07,786 --> 00:09:08,997 We better bounce. 210 00:09:14,599 --> 00:09:15,418 Whoa. 211 00:09:16,011 --> 00:09:17,268 That's Sharice. 212 00:09:17,269 --> 00:09:19,261 I had sociology with her last year. 213 00:09:19,262 --> 00:09:21,553 She told me I walk like a dude. 214 00:09:21,554 --> 00:09:24,104 That's awful! Abed, you got anything? 215 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,445 I might have something to say about those jeans she's wearing. 216 00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,379 But you guys are sure it's not bad? 217 00:09:28,408 --> 00:09:30,642 Bad isn't that bad when you're doing it to bad girls. 218 00:09:30,643 --> 00:09:32,169 Yeah, and you're really good at it. 219 00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:33,343 You're like a machine. 220 00:09:33,344 --> 00:09:36,114 - Like Robocop. - Exactly like rowboat cop. 221 00:09:36,115 --> 00:09:39,633 Sharice is a bad rowboat. Sink her. 222 00:09:40,553 --> 00:09:41,643 Affirmative. 223 00:09:54,621 --> 00:09:55,604 They're bad.... 224 00:09:56,019 --> 00:09:56,862 bad. 225 00:10:05,768 --> 00:10:09,380 Hey...You dudes ready to shoot the rock after study group? 226 00:10:09,381 --> 00:10:11,963 I'm gonna slit your butt's throats. 227 00:10:13,868 --> 00:10:15,433 Nice catch, losers. 228 00:10:15,946 --> 00:10:16,959 Go get it. 229 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,136 Sorry, Pierce. 230 00:10:18,179 --> 00:10:20,035 We're not really into basketball anymore. 231 00:10:20,096 --> 00:10:21,075 What? 232 00:10:21,295 --> 00:10:22,717 What's up with you guys? 233 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:24,655 Why are you acting like that? 234 00:10:24,656 --> 00:10:25,642 Like what? 235 00:10:26,746 --> 00:10:28,527 Ah! Gay boots! 236 00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,502 Lady boots! 237 00:10:30,121 --> 00:10:31,425 He's a gaywad. 238 00:10:32,121 --> 00:10:33,941 Are those as comfortable as they look? 239 00:10:34,122 --> 00:10:36,216 They're like wearing a pair of dreams. 240 00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:39,146 I'm sure your shoes are fine, though. 241 00:10:40,494 --> 00:10:41,598 You know what? 242 00:10:42,037 --> 00:10:43,099 They are. 243 00:10:43,252 --> 00:10:45,778 Something's up with you two, and I want to know what it is. 244 00:10:46,038 --> 00:10:47,273 Are you on weed? 245 00:10:47,802 --> 00:10:49,689 Give me some... I'll smoke you two under the table. 246 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,753 Oh, man, I feel so good. 247 00:10:51,754 --> 00:10:53,541 It's like the whole campus is a gutter 248 00:10:53,542 --> 00:10:55,235 and we're just spraying it clean. 249 00:10:55,236 --> 00:10:56,914 Abed, I may need you to come to the bank with me 250 00:10:56,915 --> 00:10:59,624 to have words with a certain something at window four. 251 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,755 We'll take 'em down. 252 00:11:00,756 --> 00:11:02,331 We'll take all these bitches down. 253 00:11:02,332 --> 00:11:04,059 Ladies, are you okay? 254 00:11:04,550 --> 00:11:05,595 Take it easy. 255 00:11:05,596 --> 00:11:08,536 Um, did you just tell us what to do? 256 00:11:08,537 --> 00:11:09,593 Here's the thing. 257 00:11:09,594 --> 00:11:10,329 It's a little rule. 258 00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:11,596 Maybe you're not familiar with it. 259 00:11:11,597 --> 00:11:13,631 Nobody tells me what to do... ever. 260 00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:16,172 Whoa, whoa, cowboy. I surrender. 261 00:11:16,173 --> 00:11:17,417 Abed, did you hear that? 262 00:11:17,418 --> 00:11:18,838 - Jeff a bitch too? - Yes. 263 00:11:18,839 --> 00:11:19,972 - Take him down. - Cool. 264 00:11:19,973 --> 00:11:21,534 Hey, Jeff, what's with the boots? 265 00:11:21,535 --> 00:11:23,341 2008 called to tell you that, even in 2008, 266 00:11:23,342 --> 00:11:25,747 those were tacky. Oh, you go, girl! 267 00:11:25,748 --> 00:11:27,754 Daaamn. 268 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:30,323 Hey, you guys, why don't we just all 269 00:11:30,324 --> 00:11:33,702 take a deep breath and... Find some center. 270 00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:35,621 Okay, that is it! 271 00:11:35,722 --> 00:11:37,014 What are you hiding from me? 272 00:11:37,015 --> 00:11:38,806 They're keeping relaxation secrets. 273 00:11:38,807 --> 00:11:41,797 Tell me how to get this laid back, or I'll kill your families! 274 00:11:41,798 --> 00:11:43,640 Okay, this place is lame. 275 00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:44,861 Girls, Abed. 276 00:11:44,862 --> 00:11:45,962 Toodles. 277 00:11:48,548 --> 00:11:49,839 I'm watching you two. 278 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,102 24, 2010. 279 00:11:54,070 --> 00:11:56,529 These balls on your butts. 280 00:11:59,986 --> 00:12:01,277 Quick bounce before lunch? 281 00:12:01,278 --> 00:12:02,326 Absolutely. 282 00:12:02,327 --> 00:12:04,662 Let me just make sure that Pierce isn't hovering around. 283 00:12:08,415 --> 00:12:09,575 Coast is clear. 284 00:12:41,905 --> 00:12:43,675 What did you see, my pretty? 285 00:12:45,151 --> 00:12:45,998 Wait. 286 00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:47,459 Back, back... freeze it. 287 00:12:48,251 --> 00:12:50,643 Can you blow that up a little? Enhance. 288 00:12:51,039 --> 00:12:52,070 Enhance. 289 00:12:52,985 --> 00:12:54,399 Enhance. 290 00:12:54,798 --> 00:12:56,053 Stop! That's it. 291 00:12:56,745 --> 00:12:57,826 Blow it up. 292 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,514 There it is. 293 00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,166 Um, excuse me, girls. 294 00:13:05,167 --> 00:13:06,671 You're sitting in our seats. 295 00:13:06,672 --> 00:13:08,452 I'm sorry. What did you say? 296 00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:10,394 Oh! I didn't know you were deaf. 297 00:13:10,395 --> 00:13:13,123 I suspected you were blind from the outfit. 298 00:13:15,777 --> 00:13:16,681 Toodles. 299 00:13:18,020 --> 00:13:19,073 See ya. 300 00:13:21,359 --> 00:13:22,297 Wait a minute. 301 00:13:22,426 --> 00:13:24,049 Why were you mean to them? Did they insult you? 302 00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:26,787 No, but that top insulted our retinas. 303 00:13:27,603 --> 00:13:29,182 Go, girl. 304 00:13:30,362 --> 00:13:33,236 Bad isn't that bad when you're doing it to bad girls. 305 00:13:38,090 --> 00:13:39,999 Annie, when you laugh like that, you snort like a piglet. 306 00:13:40,676 --> 00:13:43,119 - Careful, Abed. - Be careful with your skin. 307 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,106 Your face is so puffy right now, 308 00:13:44,107 --> 00:13:45,446 your eyes look like sewn-on buttons. 309 00:13:45,447 --> 00:13:47,427 You need to check that attitude at the door, Abed. 310 00:13:47,428 --> 00:13:49,072 You need to check the door before you go through it, Shirley. 311 00:13:49,073 --> 00:13:50,393 What? What? 312 00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:53,283 Abed, you cannot talk to us that way. 313 00:13:53,284 --> 00:13:55,295 Someone has to. You guys are being bitches. 314 00:13:55,971 --> 00:13:57,377 We're not bitches! 315 00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,586 We were just joking. 316 00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,725 If that makes us bitches, we're all bitches. 317 00:14:00,726 --> 00:14:02,779 - Mm-hmm. - That's a good point, Annie. 318 00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:03,730 You told him. 319 00:14:03,731 --> 00:14:05,455 Affirmative. You're all bitches. 320 00:14:05,568 --> 00:14:07,317 Nice shirt. It would look better on a girl. 321 00:14:08,190 --> 00:14:09,119 Pick a bronzer. 322 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,731 You're not fooling us with that band-aid... we knew it's a zit. 323 00:14:10,732 --> 00:14:12,228 You're all bitches. Triple bitches. 324 00:14:12,229 --> 00:14:13,402 - Ohh! - Bitch, bitch, bitch. 325 00:14:13,403 --> 00:14:14,883 Hey, bitch. Bitch. You bitch. 326 00:14:14,884 --> 00:14:16,201 I'm a bitch. You're a bitch. 327 00:14:24,024 --> 00:14:25,056 Pierce! 328 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:26,619 Ha ha! 329 00:14:27,798 --> 00:14:29,103 How did you find us? 330 00:14:29,104 --> 00:14:30,669 Draganflyer, bee-otch. 331 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,328 So this is the big secret, huh? 332 00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:35,625 You two sneak out here and hang out on the big, gay trampoline. 333 00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:37,199 Lower your voice, Pierce. 334 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,115 This is our place of peace. 335 00:14:39,116 --> 00:14:41,913 Yes. And now it's mine too. 336 00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:44,607 Mine. 337 00:14:49,913 --> 00:14:51,376 Oh, this is great! 338 00:14:52,536 --> 00:14:53,864 I wanna go higher! 339 00:14:55,844 --> 00:14:58,514 Pierce...Please... You're doing it all wrong. 340 00:14:58,515 --> 00:14:59,755 I wanna go higher! 341 00:14:59,841 --> 00:15:01,665 Troy, get up here and double bounce me. 342 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:03,412 That's not how we do things here. 343 00:15:03,413 --> 00:15:05,142 You get up here and double bounce me, 344 00:15:05,143 --> 00:15:07,138 or I'll tell everybody about this place! 345 00:15:07,338 --> 00:15:08,315 Come on! 346 00:15:10,124 --> 00:15:12,262 God is my witness, I will tweet it! 347 00:15:17,493 --> 00:15:18,601 Double bounce me! 348 00:15:18,602 --> 00:15:20,648 Why are you doing this? 349 00:15:21,067 --> 00:15:22,468 Double bounce me! Do it! 350 00:15:22,469 --> 00:15:24,084 Pierce, that's enough. 351 00:15:24,085 --> 00:15:25,465 I hate you. 352 00:15:26,036 --> 00:15:27,567 I hate you! 353 00:15:27,568 --> 00:15:29,275 Double bounce me! 354 00:15:30,307 --> 00:15:31,372 Aah! 355 00:15:31,613 --> 00:15:33,165 Father... 356 00:15:37,092 --> 00:15:38,725 My legs! Ohh! 357 00:15:38,802 --> 00:15:42,559 Oh, my legs, I... illegal trampoline! 358 00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:45,024 They have an illegal trampoline back there! 359 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,775 Whoa, black jeans? Nice try, Michael Penn. 360 00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:53,386 Those bangs aren't covering anything, five-head. 361 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,689 Pegged jeans. Sweater balls. Crows feet. 362 00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:56,618 What's it called when your back hair 363 00:15:56,619 --> 00:15:58,118 grows into your neck hair grows into your regular hair? 364 00:15:58,119 --> 00:15:59,457 Look it up, because you have it. 365 00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:01,785 Hmm. 366 00:16:05,333 --> 00:16:07,463 Nice. Who taught you how to be a juice box? Hmm. 367 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:20,244 Don't worry. I come in peace. 368 00:16:21,036 --> 00:16:22,359 And whatever medicated shampoo you're using 369 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,564 seems to be doing the trick. 370 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,237 Oh. What do you want? 371 00:16:25,238 --> 00:16:26,723 To restore the natural order. 372 00:16:27,651 --> 00:16:28,809 What are these? 373 00:16:28,883 --> 00:16:30,187 Destruct codes. 374 00:16:39,077 --> 00:16:40,661 Well, that seems a little excessive. 375 00:16:42,949 --> 00:16:43,998 Joshua. 376 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,645 We were looking for you all over. 377 00:16:46,950 --> 00:16:48,087 Where you going? 378 00:16:48,088 --> 00:16:49,791 I got fired. I'm leaving. 379 00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:52,031 Joshua, we are so sorry. 380 00:16:52,677 --> 00:16:54,011 Don't apologize. 381 00:16:54,064 --> 00:16:55,314 It's my fault. 382 00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:58,317 Guess that's what I get for trusting some black guy. 383 00:16:59,966 --> 00:17:00,989 What? 384 00:17:01,075 --> 00:17:02,235 When you found the trampoline, 385 00:17:02,236 --> 00:17:04,981 I thought the only way to protect it was to let you use it. 386 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:07,351 Guess it goes to prove what I already knew: 387 00:17:07,621 --> 00:17:10,035 non-whites ruin everything. 388 00:17:12,773 --> 00:17:13,952 Oh, my God. 389 00:17:14,758 --> 00:17:16,632 Joshua was racist. 390 00:17:16,799 --> 00:17:18,310 That came out of nowhere. 391 00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:21,609 Did it? 392 00:17:23,277 --> 00:17:25,492 A place free from darkness. 393 00:17:25,895 --> 00:17:28,383 And some are just natural jumpers. 394 00:17:29,545 --> 00:17:31,195 It's going to be a maze. 395 00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,698 Maybe I just didn't want to believe it. 396 00:17:37,308 --> 00:17:38,888 Maybe that's the lesson here. 397 00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,771 Purity that demands exclusion... 398 00:17:42,157 --> 00:17:43,857 Isn't real purity. 399 00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:46,729 Maybe paradise is a lie. 400 00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:47,948 Not exactly. 401 00:17:49,734 --> 00:17:51,454 Paradise exists. 402 00:17:51,975 --> 00:17:53,130 Right here. 403 00:17:53,545 --> 00:17:56,015 For once... he's actually right. 404 00:17:57,497 --> 00:17:59,025 Let me buy you some ice cream. 405 00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:01,427 My white guilt is doing somersaults. 406 00:18:02,445 --> 00:18:03,660 Worth it. 407 00:18:12,885 --> 00:18:15,058 Ahh, paradise. 408 00:18:15,725 --> 00:18:17,955 Hey! Horse-neck. 409 00:18:18,751 --> 00:18:21,254 So...What's with the clothes? 410 00:18:21,255 --> 00:18:24,316 I mean, you look like a toddler who got dressed in the dark. 411 00:18:24,317 --> 00:18:26,073 Aww, snap! 412 00:18:26,074 --> 00:18:27,706 Here it comes, y'all! 413 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,012 Look at your face. 414 00:18:29,013 --> 00:18:32,738 It's like your mom was a lizard who got raped by a muppet. 415 00:18:34,567 --> 00:18:36,371 And that burn was brought to you by the letter "s," 416 00:18:36,372 --> 00:18:37,826 as in snap! 417 00:18:38,557 --> 00:18:39,621 What? 418 00:18:39,622 --> 00:18:41,435 Too hurt to respond? 419 00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:44,210 Uhh! That's right. 420 00:18:44,211 --> 00:18:45,991 You don't have feelings. 421 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:48,273 See, the rest of us feel ashamed of ourselves, 422 00:18:48,274 --> 00:18:51,368 so we act like bitches to make ourselves feel better. 423 00:18:51,369 --> 00:18:52,984 But you did it to fit in. 424 00:18:52,985 --> 00:18:54,808 And no matter how hard you try, 425 00:18:55,246 --> 00:18:56,709 you never will. 426 00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,405 Snap. Snap! 427 00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:02,172 Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap! 428 00:19:02,173 --> 00:19:04,600 Give it up! Ooh! Ooh! Snap! Snap! 429 00:19:05,860 --> 00:19:06,975 Yeah! Snap! Snap! 430 00:19:06,976 --> 00:19:10,781 Snap, snap, snap! Woof! Woof! 431 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:16,805 Abed, are you okay? 432 00:19:16,806 --> 00:19:18,375 That was so cruel. 433 00:19:18,441 --> 00:19:19,568 I deserved it. 434 00:19:19,646 --> 00:19:22,415 I should have never been mean to anybody, least of all you guys. 435 00:19:22,489 --> 00:19:24,419 I was trying so hard to fit in that I took it too far. 436 00:19:24,421 --> 00:19:25,523 We took it too far. 437 00:19:25,524 --> 00:19:27,286 We became the kind of women that we hate, 438 00:19:27,287 --> 00:19:28,905 and we turned you into a monster. 439 00:19:28,906 --> 00:19:31,297 The kind of monster that makes outlandish statements 440 00:19:31,298 --> 00:19:32,686 about someone's weight. 441 00:19:32,687 --> 00:19:33,990 Those kind of things hurt. 442 00:19:33,991 --> 00:19:35,401 Even when they're not true. 443 00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:37,306 And all because we were insecure. 444 00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:38,166 Everyone is. 445 00:19:38,167 --> 00:19:39,877 Even Tom Cruise knows he's short and nuts. 446 00:19:40,162 --> 00:19:42,185 We're at the mercy of each other and ourselves. 447 00:19:42,284 --> 00:19:44,285 That's why there has to be forgiveness on both sides. 448 00:19:44,358 --> 00:19:46,520 - Aww... - Abed... 449 00:19:47,156 --> 00:19:49,186 Oh, my goodness. What happened to Pierce? 450 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,479 Long story. 451 00:19:50,867 --> 00:19:51,978 Men. 452 00:19:51,995 --> 00:19:53,011 Yeah. 453 00:19:55,622 --> 00:19:57,382 Damn it, Pierce, will you knock it off? 454 00:19:57,428 --> 00:19:59,912 I told you, I'm not controlling it. 455 00:20:00,345 --> 00:20:02,205 There's a little man inside. 456 00:20:03,865 --> 00:20:05,580 - Hi. - Pierce! 457 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,357 Listen, I wanted to let you know, Pierce, 458 00:20:08,358 --> 00:20:12,518 it's okay to exceed the recommended daily dosage. 459 00:20:12,871 --> 00:20:15,719 And don't let anybody tell you different! 460 00:20:18,787 --> 00:20:21,464 Who's going to be in charge of making sure he doesn't O.D.? 461 00:20:23,324 --> 00:20:25,759 What? What... When did we start doing that? 462 00:20:28,678 --> 00:20:31,989 Aaaaaaa Troy and Abed in the mornin' 463 00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:33,394 and we're back with Greendale's 464 00:20:33,395 --> 00:20:35,536 resident animal expert, star-burns. 465 00:20:35,628 --> 00:20:36,804 My name's Alex. 466 00:20:36,805 --> 00:20:39,541 Star-burns joins us with his pet turtle, Shelly. 467 00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:42,185 Now, I understand Shelly can eat over five mice a day. 468 00:20:42,186 --> 00:20:45,207 - That's impressive. - Turtles don't eat mice. 469 00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:47,538 - What do they eat? - I don't know. 470 00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:49,617 Pellets? I have no idea. 471 00:20:49,630 --> 00:20:51,025 - That's disappointing. - That's not good. 472 00:20:51,026 --> 00:20:52,448 Look, what is going on here? 473 00:20:52,449 --> 00:20:54,322 I was studying for my econ midterm. 474 00:20:54,323 --> 00:20:56,318 You guys walk in, you hand me this turtle, 475 00:20:56,319 --> 00:20:58,644 and then you tell me to smile for the folks at home. 476 00:20:58,645 --> 00:21:00,352 What folks at home? 477 00:21:01,258 --> 00:21:03,753 - Ohh. - Star-burn... 478 00:21:03,754 --> 00:21:06,206 These things give you salmonella, you know. 479 00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:08,137 Let's go to Gary with a check on the weather. 480 00:21:08,337 --> 00:21:18,537 Sync by YYeTs.net www.addic7ed.com