1 00:00:00,757 --> 00:00:02,054 All: ♪ to you ♪ 2 00:00:02,119 --> 00:00:04,321 [horns tooting] 3 00:00:04,389 --> 00:00:06,323 - That was weird--how come we only sang the last two words? 4 00:00:06,391 --> 00:00:08,325 What happened to the happy birthday part? 5 00:00:08,392 --> 00:00:10,026 - Well, you know troy's a jehovah's witness. 6 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:11,027 - He doesn't celebrate birthdays. 7 00:00:11,095 --> 00:00:12,228 - Annie and I did our best 8 00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:13,797 To keep the language on the cake compliant. 9 00:00:13,865 --> 00:00:15,366 - "hello during a random dessert, 10 00:00:15,434 --> 00:00:18,303 "the month and day of which cocide numerically 11 00:00:18,371 --> 00:00:21,038 With your expulsion from a uterus." 12 00:00:21,106 --> 00:00:23,574 Yoguys, I never cry, but... 13 00:00:23,641 --> 00:00:25,042 - All right. Happy expulsion, troy, 14 00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:27,946 But after cake, we cram for realsies. 15 00:00:28,014 --> 00:00:29,581 Guys, finals are coming up. 16 00:00:29,648 --> 00:00:31,348 - Yeah. This group is starting to use special occasions 17 00:00:31,416 --> 00:00:32,815 To avoid studying. 18 00:00:32,883 --> 00:00:35,050 Last week we had fondue and played boggle 19 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:36,885 Because shirley's niece took her first bath. 20 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:39,254 - With bubbles. - Thank you. It's a milestone. 21 00:00:39,322 --> 00:00:41,056 - Funny, because last week was my birthday, 22 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,225 And nobody noticed and nobody cared. 23 00:00:45,228 --> 00:00:47,063 - Pierce... 24 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,096 You don't remember the huge party we threw? 25 00:00:50,164 --> 00:00:51,898 We need to talk about those pain killers you're taking 26 00:00:51,965 --> 00:00:54,367 Because don't think you're remembering anything. 27 00:00:54,434 --> 00:00:55,601 - That was a huge party. [overlapping chatter] 28 00:00:55,669 --> 00:00:56,869 - It was the best party of my life! 29 00:00:56,936 --> 00:00:59,071 - Gotcha! [chattering stops] 30 00:00:59,139 --> 00:01:01,606 [chuckles] of course I remember my birthday. 31 00:01:01,674 --> 00:01:04,442 What a party. [clicks tongue] 32 00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,077 - Yeah, you still owe me for the cake deposit. 33 00:01:06,145 --> 00:01:09,014 - Oh, you think I don't know that? 34 00:01:09,082 --> 00:01:10,916 - Troy... 35 00:01:10,984 --> 00:01:12,018 - Troy. 36 00:01:14,653 --> 00:01:18,190 - ♪ give me some rope, time in a tree ♪ 37 00:01:18,257 --> 00:01:21,360 ♪ give me the hope to run out of steam ♪ 38 00:01:21,427 --> 00:01:24,261 ♪ somebody said we could be here ♪ 39 00:01:24,329 --> 00:01:28,531 ♪ we could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year ♪ 40 00:01:28,599 --> 00:01:33,736 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 41 00:01:33,804 --> 00:01:37,939 ♪ one by one they all just fade away ♪ 42 00:01:37,940 --> 00:01:40,700 Synced By YesCool www.addic7ed.com 43 00:01:40,776 --> 00:01:43,877 - Kick puncher: Detroit! No way! 44 00:01:43,944 --> 00:01:45,578 This is sold out everywhere! - Not everywhere. 45 00:01:45,646 --> 00:01:46,779 I got a cousin in detroit. 46 00:01:46,847 --> 00:01:48,280 They're not crazy about it up there. 47 00:01:48,348 --> 00:01:51,416 - This is how you turn 20. Thanks! 48 00:01:51,484 --> 00:01:52,618 - Ooh, there's strawberries under there. 49 00:01:52,685 --> 00:01:54,319 - Here, let me, uh, help you with that. 50 00:01:54,387 --> 00:01:55,787 - I broke my legs, not my gender. 51 00:01:55,855 --> 00:01:57,122 - Okay. 52 00:01:57,189 --> 00:01:59,924 - Whilwe're... Watching this unfold, 53 00:01:59,992 --> 00:02:03,127 Some birthday facts to enjoy. 54 00:02:03,195 --> 00:02:05,329 Troy's birthday is tomorrow, December 4th. 55 00:02:05,397 --> 00:02:07,130 Also born that day, tyra banks... 56 00:02:07,198 --> 00:02:08,565 - Ugh. - Marisa tomei... 57 00:02:08,633 --> 00:02:11,434 And french cinematographer claude renoir. 58 00:02:11,502 --> 00:02:12,902 - [whispers] yes! Jackpot! 59 00:02:12,970 --> 00:02:14,603 - On the chinese calendar, troy is a horse. 60 00:02:14,671 --> 00:02:16,472 Like me. 61 00:02:16,539 --> 00:02:18,774 "purposeful, self-possessed, and gregarious." 62 00:02:18,841 --> 00:02:20,942 - No. I'm pretty sure I'm a snake. 63 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,911 I remember because I'm determined, self-possessed, 64 00:02:22,979 --> 00:02:24,145 And mendacious. 65 00:02:24,213 --> 00:02:25,813 - Pierce, what is this? What are you doing? 66 00:02:25,881 --> 00:02:27,181 Explain yourself. 67 00:02:27,249 --> 00:02:29,150 - Who made this crappy cake anyway? 68 00:02:29,218 --> 00:02:30,485 - A cake maker. At a cake store. 69 00:02:30,552 --> 00:02:31,652 - They did it wrong. 70 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,787 - Troy, we're 1990. We're horses. 71 00:02:33,855 --> 00:02:34,855 - I was born in '89. 72 00:02:34,923 --> 00:02:36,156 - Then... 73 00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:38,191 You were born 21 years ago. 74 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:39,659 - Which would make me 20, 75 00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:42,662 Because everyone is 10 for two years. 76 00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:45,764 Because fifth grade is really hard for every...One. 77 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,833 [yelling] mom, how many lies have I been living! 78 00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,635 - Troy, do you realize at midnight you are turning 21 79 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:53,170 As in "the legal drinking age"? 80 00:02:53,238 --> 00:02:55,205 - Whoa! 81 00:02:55,273 --> 00:02:57,474 - This party just became unacceptable--we're going out. 82 00:02:57,542 --> 00:02:58,942 - Yep! - But you guys were just 83 00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:00,277 Complaining about us having too many parties. 84 00:03:00,344 --> 00:03:01,778 - Too many lame ones. This is real. 85 00:03:01,846 --> 00:03:03,913 - Well, what makes it real? - Well, shirley, think of it 86 00:03:03,981 --> 00:03:05,481 As troy taking his first bath, 87 00:03:05,549 --> 00:03:07,149 Only the bubbles are his manhood. 88 00:03:07,217 --> 00:03:09,151 - Yes. I wanna bathe in manhood. 89 00:03:09,219 --> 00:03:10,952 Together: Oh! 90 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,620 - I'm taking you to l street. 91 00:03:12,687 --> 00:03:14,454 - [scoffs] douche street. 92 00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:16,188 - Oh, of course you hate cool bars. 93 00:03:16,255 --> 00:03:18,756 I don't suppose you've ever even been to l street. 94 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,458 - No. But I also haven't been to beirut. 95 00:03:21,526 --> 00:03:24,527 But I'm sure I will go one day, 96 00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:27,564 Because I hear they have lots of important cultural-- 97 00:03:27,631 --> 00:03:29,798 [groaning, overlapping comments] 98 00:03:29,866 --> 00:03:32,100 Unlike l street, which is douchey. 99 00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,035 - All right, let's hear your great suggestions. 100 00:03:34,102 --> 00:03:36,170 - The red door. - Oh, yeah, the red door! 101 00:03:36,238 --> 00:03:38,006 The red hipster. - Not hipster. 102 00:03:38,074 --> 00:03:39,141 Hipsters haven't discovered it yet. 103 00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:40,643 It's underound. 104 00:03:40,711 --> 00:03:43,645 - Why don't we go someplace fun like peg leg pablo's? 105 00:03:43,713 --> 00:03:44,846 They serve virgin mudslides. 106 00:03:44,914 --> 00:03:46,247 - Those are milk shakes, shirley. 107 00:03:46,315 --> 00:03:48,215 - You guys! All you think about is yourselves. 108 00:03:48,283 --> 00:03:51,151 Think about me. I'm 19. I can't get into bars. 109 00:03:51,219 --> 00:03:52,219 - Well... - [fakes crying] 110 00:03:52,286 --> 00:03:55,388 - Yeah, sorry. - Okay, well... 111 00:03:55,456 --> 00:03:56,422 Have fun. 112 00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:58,924 - [sighs] 113 00:03:58,992 --> 00:04:00,693 Fine. I'll get annie an I.D. 114 00:04:00,761 --> 00:04:02,195 - A fake I.D.? - It will be real. 115 00:04:02,263 --> 00:04:03,429 It just won't be yours. 116 00:04:03,497 --> 00:04:05,164 I will see you at the red door. 117 00:04:05,232 --> 00:04:06,833 - Nice try. We're not going to red poet's society. 118 00:04:06,900 --> 00:04:08,567 - Well, we're not going to douche street either. 119 00:04:08,635 --> 00:04:10,635 - Fine. Count of three, name the least offensive bar 120 00:04:10,703 --> 00:04:12,236 You've ever been to. 121 00:04:12,304 --> 00:04:13,404 One, two, three. 122 00:04:13,472 --> 00:04:14,972 Together: Flannahan's hole. 123 00:04:15,039 --> 00:04:16,673 Done. Troy, you ride with me? 124 00:04:16,740 --> 00:04:17,941 - Do you even have to ask? 125 00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,009 - Pierce, do you wanna ride in my van? 126 00:04:20,077 --> 00:04:21,210 - I'm not a disabled. 127 00:04:21,278 --> 00:04:23,111 I don't need people helping me 128 00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:24,813 Do normal things and doting over me... 129 00:04:24,881 --> 00:04:26,747 Why don't you just leave-- 130 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,251 Okay! I'll beat you there. 131 00:04:30,318 --> 00:04:32,887 - I don't think this girl looks very much like me. 132 00:04:32,954 --> 00:04:34,788 - Come on. She's a white brunette. 133 00:04:34,856 --> 00:04:37,257 - So is anne hathaway. - Go on? 134 00:04:37,324 --> 00:04:38,524 - What's your friend doing 135 00:04:38,592 --> 00:04:39,992 With a stack of other people's I.D.S? 136 00:04:40,060 --> 00:04:42,094 - I don't know-- sometimes people sell their I.D. 137 00:04:42,161 --> 00:04:43,895 When they're leaving the state and need cash. 138 00:04:43,963 --> 00:04:45,763 - So she's a drifter. 139 00:04:45,831 --> 00:04:46,931 A floater. 140 00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:49,034 An urchin. 141 00:04:49,101 --> 00:04:51,669 Caroline decker from corpus christi, texas. 142 00:04:51,737 --> 00:04:53,537 Texas? Do I need an accent? 143 00:04:53,605 --> 00:04:55,272 - You don't need an accent. 144 00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:57,974 - Howdy, y'all. I'm caroline decker. 145 00:04:58,042 --> 00:04:59,409 - Please don't do that. 146 00:04:59,476 --> 00:05:00,877 - I guar-un-tee! 147 00:05:00,945 --> 00:05:02,144 - That's cajun. - [giggles] cajun. 148 00:05:02,212 --> 00:05:04,046 - I should research corpus christi. 149 00:05:04,114 --> 00:05:05,080 - Annie, relax. 150 00:05:05,148 --> 00:05:07,015 I'm not a relaxed person, britta. 151 00:05:07,082 --> 00:05:08,349 I think ahead. I prepare. 152 00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:11,285 I don't improvise my life like...Caroline decker, 153 00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:12,686 Who probably has really bad credit 154 00:05:12,754 --> 00:05:14,587 And an unfinished mermaid tattoo. 155 00:05:14,655 --> 00:05:15,755 [cell phone rings] 156 00:05:15,823 --> 00:05:17,923 - What? - Flannahan's hole is closed. 157 00:05:17,991 --> 00:05:20,258 That's not a-- I-I'm not being clever. 158 00:05:20,326 --> 00:05:21,960 I mean it's out of business. 159 00:05:22,027 --> 00:05:24,295 - Well, that's what they get for trying to please everyone. 160 00:05:24,363 --> 00:05:26,297 So now what? - Well, there's a place 161 00:05:26,365 --> 00:05:27,632 At third and water. 162 00:05:27,699 --> 00:05:30,300 It's fun, divey, but not staph infection divey. 163 00:05:30,368 --> 00:05:34,237 It's either got a gross name or an ironically fancy one. 164 00:05:34,305 --> 00:05:36,572 Possibly both. - Oh. The ballroom. Good. 165 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,940 - Go to third and water. - Wait--what? 166 00:05:39,008 --> 00:05:41,143 That wasn't the deal! - Shirley's pushing back. 167 00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:43,145 - Why, because they don't have plastic menus and milk shakes? 168 00:05:43,213 --> 00:05:45,414 - Why, because they don't-- - don't repeat that, you goon! 169 00:05:45,481 --> 00:05:48,583 Jeez. Look, just-- the women are your problem, 170 00:05:48,651 --> 00:05:50,318 And the men are going to the ballroom. 171 00:05:50,385 --> 00:05:52,119 And now I guess I am being clever. 172 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,788 [muzak playing] 173 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,522 - So...Plastic menus are bad? 174 00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:59,258 See, this is the kinda stuff I need to learn. 175 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,993 Plastic menus seems like a great idea to me 176 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:02,928 For when you spill something on them, 177 00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:04,329 And then your mom says, "hey, troy, 178 00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,130 You're ruining fuddruckers for everyone." 179 00:06:06,198 --> 00:06:08,332 - Troy...You're entering the next chapter of your life. 180 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,334 Sadly, it's the final chapter, 181 00:06:10,401 --> 00:06:11,969 But it's also the longest. 182 00:06:12,036 --> 00:06:13,837 And if you play it right, the best. 183 00:06:13,905 --> 00:06:16,139 You and I... We're just two guys now. 184 00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:18,374 Peers. Equals. 185 00:06:18,442 --> 00:06:19,942 - So awesome. 186 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,943 Maybe later you'll let me drive your car. 187 00:06:22,011 --> 00:06:24,178 - [chuckles] 188 00:06:24,246 --> 00:06:26,847 [both laughing] 189 00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:31,251 [laughter] 190 00:06:33,420 --> 00:06:36,388 - Hello, former enemy. 191 00:06:36,456 --> 00:06:38,023 - He's 21 at midnight. Cool? 192 00:06:38,091 --> 00:06:39,024 - Yeah. Happy birthday. 193 00:06:39,091 --> 00:06:40,558 - Thanks. 194 00:06:40,626 --> 00:06:42,393 - Uh, I-I don't like this place. 195 00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:44,395 - Ugh. You made that clear, shirley. Oy vey. 196 00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:46,897 - Caroline decker from corpus christi. 197 00:06:46,965 --> 00:06:48,232 - Annie, you don't need an accent. 198 00:06:48,299 --> 00:06:50,367 - If my I.D. Says texas, they'll be suspicious. 199 00:06:50,434 --> 00:06:51,901 - They're not gonna question your I.D. 200 00:06:51,969 --> 00:06:53,102 Because you're a hot girl. 201 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:54,403 We're good for business. 202 00:06:54,471 --> 00:06:55,504 The hotter you are, 203 00:06:55,572 --> 00:06:57,139 The more they'll risk the fine. 204 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:02,143 - Howdy? 205 00:07:02,211 --> 00:07:03,978 - Go ahead. 206 00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:07,247 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 207 00:07:13,387 --> 00:07:14,921 Can't be too careful. 208 00:07:14,989 --> 00:07:18,190 - I understand. 209 00:07:18,258 --> 00:07:20,259 Hey, hey, shirley! 210 00:07:20,327 --> 00:07:21,827 Welcome back! 211 00:07:22,962 --> 00:07:25,263 - You don't know me. Hmm? 212 00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:26,597 Okay? 213 00:07:26,665 --> 00:07:27,665 - [quietly] yeah. 214 00:07:27,732 --> 00:07:29,466 - You don't...Know me. 215 00:07:35,799 --> 00:07:36,898 - This place is all right! 216 00:07:36,966 --> 00:07:38,299 - Yeah. It's okay. 217 00:07:38,367 --> 00:07:40,300 - These pictures must be of all the regulars. 218 00:07:40,367 --> 00:07:42,235 You think someday I can make it up to this wall? 219 00:07:42,302 --> 00:07:44,570 - I don't say this often, troy, but... 220 00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:46,472 Dream a little smaller. 221 00:07:48,708 --> 00:07:50,242 - Can I get you guys anything? - Oh! 222 00:07:50,309 --> 00:07:52,843 I-I'm okay! - Another macallan. Neat. 223 00:07:52,911 --> 00:07:55,345 - Vodka. Neat. Four olives. - I'm waiting till midnight. 224 00:07:55,413 --> 00:07:56,813 All: Aw! 225 00:07:56,881 --> 00:07:58,648 - Sweetie? 226 00:07:58,716 --> 00:08:00,183 - Water! 227 00:08:00,251 --> 00:08:01,250 - Oh, where's that accent from? 228 00:08:01,318 --> 00:08:03,486 - Corpus christi. Texas. 229 00:08:03,553 --> 00:08:05,020 78418. 230 00:08:05,088 --> 00:08:06,188 - What are you doin' here in town? 231 00:08:06,256 --> 00:08:07,889 - Not much, I reckon... 232 00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:09,757 Just driftin', floatin', 233 00:08:09,825 --> 00:08:12,059 Spittin' in the wind. 234 00:08:12,127 --> 00:08:13,760 General waywardness. 235 00:08:13,828 --> 00:08:15,595 - All righty. 236 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:17,531 - Annie, you're in the bar. 237 00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,166 You don't have to be from texas anymore. 238 00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,234 - I don't know how it works. I'm not a barfly, britta. 239 00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,002 - They have asteroids. Slide out. 240 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,504 - O-okay. Oh! Oh! Okay. 241 00:08:25,571 --> 00:08:28,272 I-I'm gonna go take a little look around. 242 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,607 - Me too. - Annie. 243 00:08:29,674 --> 00:08:31,408 Don't accept any drinks. 244 00:08:31,475 --> 00:08:34,443 - Or invitations to the bathroom. 245 00:08:34,511 --> 00:08:37,112 - So what are you gonna order for your first legal drink? 246 00:08:37,179 --> 00:08:38,947 - What should I get? - Whatever you want. 247 00:08:39,015 --> 00:08:40,915 - No wrong answers. - I like beer. 248 00:08:40,983 --> 00:08:42,517 - Don't order beer. - You've had beer. 249 00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:44,551 - W-what should I get? 250 00:08:44,619 --> 00:08:46,753 - Well, what do you think you might like? 251 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:47,921 I mean, it's your world now. 252 00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:50,090 - Follow your heart. - My uncle carl 253 00:08:50,158 --> 00:08:51,959 Played a big role in my life. 254 00:08:52,027 --> 00:08:53,260 He taught me how to throw a football. 255 00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:55,762 He...He passed away this year. 256 00:08:55,830 --> 00:08:59,031 His favorite drink was a seven and seven. 257 00:08:59,099 --> 00:09:00,866 - Don't order that. - That's an awful drink. 258 00:09:00,933 --> 00:09:02,067 - You're better than that. 259 00:09:02,134 --> 00:09:03,468 - That's a high school drink for girls. 260 00:09:03,536 --> 00:09:04,769 - Actually, I'll have a root beer 261 00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:06,403 Instead of that water. 262 00:09:06,471 --> 00:09:08,939 - Sure thing. - Thank you kindly. 263 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:12,042 Y'all are so nice in this town. 264 00:09:12,109 --> 00:09:14,977 I'm caroline. From corpus christi. 265 00:09:15,044 --> 00:09:18,180 Grew up on a trout farm. 266 00:09:18,247 --> 00:09:21,115 Deedly-do. ♪ doo doo doo doo ♪ 267 00:09:22,184 --> 00:09:23,317 - Oh, careful. 268 00:09:23,385 --> 00:09:25,118 You score any higher on this thing, 269 00:09:25,186 --> 00:09:26,419 The rylans are gonna recruit you 270 00:09:26,487 --> 00:09:28,121 To fight against the ko-dan empire. 271 00:09:28,189 --> 00:09:29,556 - The last starfighter. 272 00:09:29,624 --> 00:09:31,658 Did you get the 25th anniversary blu-ray? 273 00:09:31,726 --> 00:09:34,494 - Was scorpius half-scarran, half-peacekeeper? 274 00:09:34,562 --> 00:09:37,029 Frell, yes, I got starfighter on blu-ray. 275 00:09:38,732 --> 00:09:42,000 - You're a fan of the sci-fi original series farscape. 276 00:09:42,068 --> 00:09:43,634 - Can I buy you a drink? 277 00:09:50,575 --> 00:09:52,742 - You got some id? 278 00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,643 - Very funny, punk. 279 00:09:54,711 --> 00:09:56,011 Get outta my way! 280 00:09:56,079 --> 00:09:57,479 [muttering] people trying to-- 281 00:09:57,546 --> 00:10:00,314 I don't know how people like you even get jobs today. 282 00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:01,749 - Hey, do you need help, man? - Oh... 283 00:10:01,816 --> 00:10:03,484 You'd like that, wouldn't you? Ha ha! 284 00:10:03,552 --> 00:10:05,452 A little turning of the tables. 285 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,719 Ha. 286 00:10:07,787 --> 00:10:09,454 - The turning of what tables? 287 00:10:09,522 --> 00:10:10,654 - I don't know! Leave me alone! 288 00:10:10,722 --> 00:10:11,822 [blows into tube] pffttt! 289 00:10:11,889 --> 00:10:12,823 [bang] 290 00:10:12,890 --> 00:10:15,458 [crash, bang] 291 00:10:15,526 --> 00:10:16,993 - [exaggerated accent so I punched her 292 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:17,994 Right in the face. 293 00:10:18,061 --> 00:10:20,195 - Your probation officer? 294 00:10:20,263 --> 00:10:21,496 Didn't you get in trouble? 295 00:10:21,564 --> 00:10:23,465 - Hell, yes, I got in trouble! 296 00:10:23,532 --> 00:10:26,167 Wasn't the first time. Won't be the last. 297 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,536 I'm not exactly known for my sound judgment. 298 00:10:28,604 --> 00:10:32,373 Back in corpus christi, they call me capricious caroline. 299 00:10:32,441 --> 00:10:34,942 - What's capricious mean? 300 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,178 - Probably means I'm... 301 00:10:37,245 --> 00:10:40,848 Too busy livin' life to be learnin' $5-words. 302 00:10:40,916 --> 00:10:43,651 Ha ha! Hot damn! 303 00:10:43,719 --> 00:10:45,520 - With an aged scotch, never use ice. 304 00:10:45,587 --> 00:10:46,888 - Never use ice. Got it. 305 00:10:46,956 --> 00:10:48,956 Why? - Destroys it. 306 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:51,857 At most, what you want-- two drops of spring water. 307 00:10:51,925 --> 00:10:53,292 Activates the flavor. - Good lord. 308 00:10:53,359 --> 00:10:56,194 Do they have the rules to high-maintenance poser drinker 309 00:10:56,262 --> 00:10:57,829 On the wall at l street? 310 00:10:57,897 --> 00:10:59,731 - Do they? - Poser drinking? 311 00:10:59,798 --> 00:11:01,932 Hey, miss vodka, need four olives. 312 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,001 What's that called, the too-cool-to-care-tini? 313 00:11:04,068 --> 00:11:05,368 - Is it? 314 00:11:05,436 --> 00:11:07,570 - I bet the forced starkness of that drink order 315 00:11:07,638 --> 00:11:09,872 Turns a lotta horn-rimmed heads at the red door. 316 00:11:09,939 --> 00:11:12,206 - I can't wait to understand these arguments! 317 00:11:12,274 --> 00:11:13,507 - Hey, y'all, 'nother round for ya. 318 00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:14,840 Everybody holdin' up? 319 00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:18,042 I'll be back in two shakes of a rabbit's ass. 320 00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,641 - Who the hell was that? 321 00:11:21,074 --> 00:11:22,208 - I gotta go see a woman 322 00:11:22,275 --> 00:11:24,142 About the female equivalent of a horse. 323 00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:26,311 - Classy. Way to show troy the ropes. 324 00:11:26,378 --> 00:11:28,278 - Shut up, l street. 325 00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:32,215 - That woman is a hurricane. 326 00:11:32,282 --> 00:11:34,217 - Yeah. 327 00:11:34,285 --> 00:11:36,053 - Hurricanes are bad, troy. 328 00:11:36,121 --> 00:11:37,555 - I know. 329 00:11:41,227 --> 00:11:42,894 - I always thought it's possible 330 00:11:42,962 --> 00:11:44,695 That the wormhole crichton fell through 331 00:11:44,763 --> 00:11:46,664 Moved him across not only space but also time, 332 00:11:46,731 --> 00:11:48,866 Which would suggest that the sebaceans are our future selves 333 00:11:48,933 --> 00:11:51,067 And crichton is longing for a planet that no longer exists. 334 00:11:51,135 --> 00:11:54,470 - Ha. Hey, you're really nursing that beer. 335 00:11:57,006 --> 00:11:58,340 - Ahh. Which would make sense, 336 00:11:58,408 --> 00:11:59,974 Because what kind of wormhole would it be 337 00:12:00,042 --> 00:12:01,743 If it could only move from one place to another 338 00:12:01,810 --> 00:12:03,344 Within the same galaxy on the same day? 339 00:12:03,412 --> 00:12:04,745 - You know, speaking of wormholes, 340 00:12:04,813 --> 00:12:07,080 Uh, whaddaya say we use one to... 341 00:12:07,148 --> 00:12:10,517 Teleport this conversation someplace a little more private? 342 00:12:10,584 --> 00:12:11,918 - That doesn't make any sense. 343 00:12:11,985 --> 00:12:14,119 Wormholes and teleportation are two different things. 344 00:12:14,187 --> 00:12:16,088 That's what I've been talking about this whole time. 345 00:12:16,155 --> 00:12:18,056 - I noticed. - Cheers. 346 00:12:18,124 --> 00:12:20,625 - I followed that band phish-- spells it with "ph". 347 00:12:20,692 --> 00:12:22,793 I just lived in parking lots wherever they played. 348 00:12:22,861 --> 00:12:24,028 I don't even like their music. 349 00:12:24,095 --> 00:12:25,362 Just did it to see if I could do it. 350 00:12:25,430 --> 00:12:26,897 And guess what. I could! 351 00:12:26,964 --> 00:12:28,265 - So what now? - I dunno! 352 00:12:28,333 --> 00:12:30,533 Even if I planned it, plans just fall off me 353 00:12:30,601 --> 00:12:33,269 Like chicken crap off an armadilla. 354 00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:35,804 [chuckles] annie's the one that plans things, not me. 355 00:12:35,872 --> 00:12:38,740 Annie's my friend. She goes to school here. 356 00:12:38,808 --> 00:12:41,275 Thinks she's got it all figured out. 357 00:12:41,343 --> 00:12:43,210 She wants to major in healthcare management. 358 00:12:43,278 --> 00:12:45,245 What does that even mean? 359 00:12:45,313 --> 00:12:46,780 - No idea. 360 00:12:46,847 --> 00:12:48,281 - I'll tell you what it means. 361 00:12:48,348 --> 00:12:50,649 It means a master's degree followed by an internship. 362 00:12:50,717 --> 00:12:52,784 She's got the next 15 years of her life 363 00:12:52,852 --> 00:12:54,386 All mapped out, and all she gotta do now 364 00:12:54,453 --> 00:12:57,288 Is just follow it or screw it up. 365 00:12:57,356 --> 00:12:58,289 - Another soda? 366 00:12:58,357 --> 00:13:00,491 - Actually, gimme a screwdriver. 367 00:13:00,558 --> 00:13:02,492 I got no place to be. 368 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:05,161 What am I...Annie? 369 00:13:05,229 --> 00:13:07,296 - The first season, when you watch it the second time, 370 00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:09,164 Is better than the third season, and the fourth season, 371 00:13:09,232 --> 00:13:10,532 When you watch it the fifth time-- 372 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,267 - Okay. Um... What's your name? 373 00:13:12,335 --> 00:13:13,268 - Abed. - Abed, I'm robert. 374 00:13:13,336 --> 00:13:14,436 - Hey, robert. 375 00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:17,105 - Abed, would you like to have... 376 00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:19,841 Gay sex...With me? 377 00:13:19,909 --> 00:13:22,276 - No, thank you. - Wow. 378 00:13:22,344 --> 00:13:24,545 Okay, so... What is wrong with you 379 00:13:24,612 --> 00:13:26,814 That you can sit here this whole time 380 00:13:26,881 --> 00:13:30,283 And never pick up on the fact that a man is hitting on you? 381 00:13:30,350 --> 00:13:32,117 - Oh, I actually did pick up on it after a while. 382 00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:33,118 - You actually-- 383 00:13:33,186 --> 00:13:34,353 And? 384 00:13:34,421 --> 00:13:36,488 - I really, really like talking about farscape. 385 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:42,460 It's a really good show. 386 00:13:42,528 --> 00:13:43,827 - Stargate's better. 387 00:13:46,497 --> 00:13:47,830 [blowing] 388 00:13:47,898 --> 00:13:49,565 Electronic voice: Battery depleted. 389 00:13:49,632 --> 00:13:51,667 - Oh, man. 390 00:13:51,734 --> 00:13:53,835 Aw... 391 00:13:55,338 --> 00:13:57,072 [laughter] - that is wrong! 392 00:13:59,074 --> 00:14:00,140 Wait. 393 00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:01,141 - Oh! 394 00:14:01,209 --> 00:14:02,609 - Hey, there! 395 00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,244 What you been up to? 396 00:14:04,312 --> 00:14:05,579 - I was just, uh, 397 00:14:05,647 --> 00:14:08,348 Praying for these poor souls in these photographs. 398 00:14:08,416 --> 00:14:09,949 - Oh, that's nice, but, uh... 399 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,850 You missed one. 400 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,852 I found it in the ladies room. 401 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,521 - Uh...Give that to me? 402 00:14:16,588 --> 00:14:18,522 - No, no, come on! Don't feel bad. 403 00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:21,291 This makes us like you way more. 404 00:14:21,359 --> 00:14:22,759 - You think this is really funny. 405 00:14:22,826 --> 00:14:23,760 - Yeah. - Yeah, a little. 406 00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:26,329 - I had some bad years. 407 00:14:26,396 --> 00:14:27,963 With a chaser. 408 00:14:28,031 --> 00:14:29,331 - Come on. It's a funny picture, 409 00:14:29,399 --> 00:14:31,333 Because you act so perfect all the time. 410 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,334 And because you look like a zombie, 411 00:14:33,402 --> 00:14:35,302 But it's not funny when you're sad. 412 00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:36,636 We're on your team. Relax. 413 00:14:36,704 --> 00:14:38,138 Sit down. It's my birthday. 414 00:14:38,205 --> 00:14:39,805 - Give it to me. 415 00:14:39,873 --> 00:14:40,940 Give it to me. 416 00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:44,442 See you all on Monday. 417 00:14:45,444 --> 00:14:46,877 - Sheesh. - Oh... 418 00:14:46,945 --> 00:14:49,346 Britta: Blue town. 419 00:14:49,414 --> 00:14:51,615 Jeff: Shirley. Wait. 420 00:14:52,617 --> 00:14:54,017 - What? 421 00:14:54,085 --> 00:14:55,385 - Nothing. Get out of my way! 422 00:14:55,453 --> 00:14:57,354 - I can't get out of your way. 423 00:14:57,421 --> 00:14:59,789 I'm stuck in this pl-- the chair broke-- 424 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:02,325 I mean, I can't get-- 425 00:15:02,392 --> 00:15:05,227 Could you p-please help me? 426 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,963 Pretty please? 427 00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:09,798 Thank you, shirley. 428 00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,933 - You're welcome, jackass. 429 00:15:14,103 --> 00:15:16,270 - Hey, um, it's my birthday, 430 00:15:16,338 --> 00:15:18,171 And technically, I'm not allowed to drink 431 00:15:18,239 --> 00:15:20,509 For another 45 seconds. 432 00:15:20,576 --> 00:15:21,910 Well, actually, it'll be 30 seconds 433 00:15:21,978 --> 00:15:23,878 By the time I'm done saying this. 434 00:15:23,946 --> 00:15:25,380 But can I have a seven and seven? 435 00:15:25,447 --> 00:15:28,149 - It's on the house. Happy birthday, kid. 436 00:15:32,953 --> 00:15:35,221 Britta: I prefer that to avatar. 437 00:15:35,289 --> 00:15:37,823 I'd rather have my eyes gouged out. 438 00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,658 Jeff: Imagine the hurt locker as radio play. 439 00:15:39,725 --> 00:15:41,559 Britta: It would be fascinating and thrilling! 440 00:15:41,627 --> 00:15:43,761 Jeff: Go see the other play! 441 00:15:47,399 --> 00:15:49,733 - Big boy. Big, big boy. 442 00:15:49,801 --> 00:15:51,569 You're my big boy. 443 00:16:14,215 --> 00:16:16,016 - Troy. 444 00:16:16,084 --> 00:16:18,520 I think I owe you a birthday. 445 00:16:18,587 --> 00:16:20,154 - I'm cool. 446 00:16:20,222 --> 00:16:22,023 I actually always wanted to drive this thing. 447 00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:24,491 - What? Oh. 448 00:16:24,559 --> 00:16:26,193 This is my car? 449 00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:28,194 Don't crash it. - I'm not gonna crash it! 450 00:16:28,262 --> 00:16:29,595 - [slurring] crash it, troy. 451 00:16:29,663 --> 00:16:30,930 - Go to sleep, britta. Go to sleep. 452 00:16:30,998 --> 00:16:32,598 - Crash his car, troy! 453 00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:35,200 - Seems like a really dark chapter in our group story. 454 00:16:35,268 --> 00:16:37,635 - Go to sleep, abed. - Cool. 455 00:16:37,703 --> 00:16:39,170 - [gasps] hey, that's the place 456 00:16:39,238 --> 00:16:41,172 That we shoulda gone to tonight! 457 00:16:41,239 --> 00:16:42,506 - Yeah, l street. Exactly. 458 00:16:42,574 --> 00:16:45,142 - It's the red door, stupid! 459 00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:47,477 You see a sign that says l street? 460 00:16:47,545 --> 00:16:48,878 - L street is too cool to have a sign. 461 00:16:48,946 --> 00:16:51,348 It's called l street after the street it's on. 462 00:16:51,415 --> 00:16:52,849 - [laughs] 463 00:16:52,916 --> 00:16:55,184 The red door's on l street. 464 00:16:55,252 --> 00:16:57,553 - L street has a red door. [both laughing] 465 00:16:57,620 --> 00:16:58,887 [brakes screech] 466 00:16:58,955 --> 00:17:00,155 - Aah! - Hey! 467 00:17:00,223 --> 00:17:02,390 - It's the same bar? 468 00:17:02,458 --> 00:17:05,025 You two have been saying one bar is lame 469 00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:08,594 And the other one is awesome all night... 470 00:17:08,662 --> 00:17:11,730 And it's the same bar? 471 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,935 - Well, he probably was around Friday nights, 472 00:17:16,003 --> 00:17:17,203 Which was lame. 473 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:18,237 - You wish! 474 00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:19,571 - Stop. Just stop. 475 00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,739 I just spent the last two years 476 00:17:21,807 --> 00:17:24,208 Thinking that you guys knew more than me about life, 477 00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:27,711 And I just found out that you guys are just as dumb as me. 478 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,213 - Duh-doy. 479 00:17:30,281 --> 00:17:33,549 - Yeah. Duh-doy. 480 00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:35,217 - Got it. 481 00:17:35,285 --> 00:17:38,486 Duh-doy. 482 00:17:38,554 --> 00:17:39,854 Duh-doy. 483 00:17:39,922 --> 00:17:41,221 - You can take me home first. 484 00:17:41,289 --> 00:17:43,089 I only live a few blocks from here. 485 00:17:43,157 --> 00:17:44,424 - You do? 486 00:17:44,491 --> 00:17:46,859 - Hey, this is a really terrible neighborhood. 487 00:17:46,927 --> 00:17:48,227 - Yeah. 488 00:17:50,729 --> 00:17:53,562 - This is my apartment. 489 00:17:53,630 --> 00:17:55,764 Weird night, huh? 490 00:17:55,832 --> 00:17:58,232 - Yeah. Alcohol makes people sad. 491 00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,701 It's like the lifetime movies of beverages. 492 00:18:00,768 --> 00:18:02,903 - I pretended to be a different person tonight. 493 00:18:02,971 --> 00:18:04,873 - Abed does that like three times a week. 494 00:18:04,941 --> 00:18:07,343 - But I did it because I didn't wanna be me. 495 00:18:07,411 --> 00:18:10,278 I-I did it because 496 00:18:10,345 --> 00:18:11,612 I'm not sure who I am. 497 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,614 Admit it--we went to school together for four years, 498 00:18:13,682 --> 00:18:15,716 And you didn't even know me. 499 00:18:15,784 --> 00:18:18,252 - Yeah, but... I know you now. 500 00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,720 You're annie. 501 00:18:19,788 --> 00:18:21,521 You like puzzles and... 502 00:18:21,589 --> 00:18:23,122 Little monsters on your pencil 503 00:18:23,190 --> 00:18:25,157 And some guy named mark ruffalo. 504 00:18:25,225 --> 00:18:28,259 You're a fierce competitor and a sore loser. 505 00:18:28,327 --> 00:18:32,129 And you expect everybody to be better than who they are 506 00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:35,433 And you expect yourself to be better than everyone. 507 00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:37,468 Which is cool. 508 00:18:37,536 --> 00:18:39,336 [laughs] 509 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,308 Good night. 510 00:18:48,611 --> 00:18:50,279 - Guess everyone's gonna be pretty embarrassed 511 00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:51,480 On Monday, huh? 512 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:54,415 - Naw. Everybody just got a little bit drunk. 513 00:18:54,483 --> 00:18:56,450 Nobody did anything that bad, right? 514 00:19:02,355 --> 00:19:04,289 - [slurring] no, wait, wait, wait. 515 00:19:04,357 --> 00:19:06,757 What are we doing? 516 00:19:06,825 --> 00:19:08,726 - Yeah. What are we doing? 517 00:19:08,794 --> 00:19:10,895 - This is a bad idea, right? 518 00:19:10,963 --> 00:19:12,730 - Yeah. 519 00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:21,371 - Okay. 520 00:19:23,307 --> 00:19:26,208 I flew off the handle earlier. 521 00:19:26,276 --> 00:19:28,810 I apologize. 522 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,013 - They were making out. 523 00:19:33,081 --> 00:19:34,914 - Abed! - Abed, why would you say that? 524 00:19:34,982 --> 00:19:36,415 - Why would you do it in front of me? 525 00:19:36,483 --> 00:19:37,850 I'm not a coat rack. 526 00:19:37,918 --> 00:19:39,285 - Abed. - Mm-hmm. 527 00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,920 - No one likes a tattle tail. 528 00:19:43,156 --> 00:19:46,258 - Happy birthday, troy. 529 00:19:46,325 --> 00:19:47,826 - Thanks. 530 00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:51,362 - You're a man now. 531 00:20:03,489 --> 00:20:05,857 - I don't think this is gonna be big enough. 532 00:20:05,925 --> 00:20:07,726 - Just try it--we're so close! - All right. Breathe in. 533 00:20:07,793 --> 00:20:08,726 - [inhales] 534 00:20:08,794 --> 00:20:10,727 - All right. 535 00:20:10,795 --> 00:20:12,062 - [gasps] 536 00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:13,430 - Arms. 537 00:20:13,497 --> 00:20:15,164 There we go. There we go, yeah. 538 00:20:15,232 --> 00:20:19,501 - Ah! [panting] 539 00:20:19,569 --> 00:20:21,203 - 157! - We did it! 540 00:20:21,271 --> 00:20:23,739 - Yes. [cell phone rings] 541 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:26,207 That you? - Yeah. 542 00:20:26,275 --> 00:20:28,242 [ringing] little help? 543 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,744 Hurry. I think it's a girl! 544 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,745 - Left side or right side? - Left side. 545 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:33,447 - Got it. Tell me when I'm clo. 546 00:20:33,515 --> 00:20:34,414 - Okay. 547 00:20:34,415 --> 00:20:39,900 Synced by YesCool www.addic7ed.com