1 00:00:01,458 --> 00:00:02,926 Happy last day before winter break, Greendale! 2 00:00:02,994 --> 00:00:04,661 Time to visit our loved ones. 3 00:00:04,729 --> 00:00:07,199 Some of you will travel as far as three Miles! 4 00:00:07,266 --> 00:00:10,134 Don't forget to visit our winter wonderland in the quad, 5 00:00:10,203 --> 00:00:11,971 where we're giving away catalogues 6 00:00:12,038 --> 00:00:13,407 of next semester's classes. 7 00:00:16,644 --> 00:00:19,146 Whoa, what's that sound? 8 00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:22,816 Is that the tippy-tapping of secular boots on the roof? 9 00:00:24,085 --> 00:00:26,720 Oh, well, it must be yet another sign 10 00:00:26,787 --> 00:00:29,322 that it tis the season, 11 00:00:29,390 --> 00:00:34,727 because rumor has it that non-denominational Mr. Winter 12 00:00:34,795 --> 00:00:37,230 is on his way to the student lounge! 13 00:00:37,297 --> 00:00:38,597 Unh! 14 00:00:38,665 --> 00:00:40,765 I'm so sick of the Dean jamming his PC 15 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:41,900 down my throat. 16 00:00:41,968 --> 00:00:43,501 Pierce, I'd like to commend you 17 00:00:43,568 --> 00:00:45,269 for letting that one go. 18 00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,003 "PC-ness." 19 00:00:47,071 --> 00:00:48,204 Now I get it. 20 00:00:48,272 --> 00:00:50,472 It sounds like "penis". I just got it too. 21 00:00:50,540 --> 00:00:52,474 Well, it's still Christmas to all of us, 22 00:00:52,541 --> 00:00:54,509 and I made you all a little gift, 23 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,410 because you're like my new family. 24 00:00:56,478 --> 00:00:58,246 "W-W-B-J-D"? 25 00:00:58,314 --> 00:01:00,048 If this stands for "What would Billy Joel do", 26 00:01:00,115 --> 00:01:02,950 I'll tell you right now... he'd write another crappy song. 27 00:01:03,018 --> 00:01:05,220 Yeah, in your face, Billy Joel. 28 00:01:05,288 --> 00:01:06,421 Who is that? 29 00:01:06,489 --> 00:01:07,856 It stands for "What would baby Jesus do?" 30 00:01:07,924 --> 00:01:09,825 And it's to remind us that the real meaning 31 00:01:09,893 --> 00:01:11,994 of this season is Christmas. 32 00:01:12,062 --> 00:01:14,231 Oh, well, thank you, Shirley. 33 00:01:14,298 --> 00:01:17,634 I'm gonna put that in the pocket closest to my heart. 34 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:20,204 No, no, no, it's a bracelet. You put 'em on. 35 00:01:20,271 --> 00:01:22,539 Everybody put 'em on. 36 00:01:30,449 --> 00:01:33,818 Hey. Hey! 37 00:01:33,886 --> 00:01:36,621 You took all the winter-doodles. 38 00:01:36,689 --> 00:01:37,689 What are you, a douche bag? 39 00:01:37,757 --> 00:01:39,058 They're for my friends. 40 00:01:39,125 --> 00:01:40,392 There's a lot of other cookies left. 41 00:01:40,460 --> 00:01:42,260 No, there's only macadamia nut cookies there, okay? 42 00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:43,395 I have a tree-nut allergy. 43 00:01:43,463 --> 00:01:44,430 You should probably stay away 44 00:01:44,497 --> 00:01:45,798 from Christmas-tree-shaped cookies. 45 00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:47,566 Ha ha! That did not even make allergic sense. 46 00:01:47,634 --> 00:01:49,602 What are you, an idiot? 47 00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:52,805 Okay, we get it. You and the A-team are awesome. 48 00:01:52,872 --> 00:01:54,206 Now beat it. 49 00:01:54,274 --> 00:01:55,373 Oh, look at that. 50 00:01:55,441 --> 00:01:57,843 Pretty boy standing up for bird face over here. 51 00:01:57,911 --> 00:01:59,044 Give me a winter-doodle. 52 00:01:59,112 --> 00:02:01,046 If you're trying to be menacing, 53 00:02:01,114 --> 00:02:02,747 maybe don't call the cookie by its name. 54 00:02:02,815 --> 00:02:06,217 Oh, you're funny. You're a funny man. 55 00:02:06,284 --> 00:02:07,718 Want to hear something funny, funny man? 56 00:02:07,786 --> 00:02:08,919 Knock, knock. 57 00:02:08,987 --> 00:02:10,854 My fist up your balls! 58 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:12,856 Who's there? 59 00:02:12,923 --> 00:02:18,228 Ha ha ha! Merry happy! 60 00:02:18,295 --> 00:02:20,096 This ain't over. 61 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,701 There won't always be a Dean around. 62 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,236 All right? 63 00:02:26,304 --> 00:02:28,005 Still waiting on those cookies, Abed. 64 00:02:28,006 --> 00:02:51,160 Sync by YesCool - Corrected by 4be1 www.addic7ed.com 65 00:02:55,197 --> 00:02:57,098 Jeff protected my honor. 66 00:02:57,166 --> 00:02:58,800 It was like my bodyguard, but I was the kid from meatballs, 67 00:02:58,868 --> 00:02:59,901 Jeff was the guy from full metal jacket, 68 00:02:59,969 --> 00:03:00,902 and the moustache guy was the brother 69 00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,303 of the guy on entourage. 70 00:03:02,371 --> 00:03:04,039 Thanks for dumbing that down for us. 71 00:03:04,106 --> 00:03:05,473 - You got it. - So what's the deal, Jeff? 72 00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:08,477 You leave your stones in your other suit? 73 00:03:08,544 --> 00:03:10,045 Why didn't you rap that guy in the face? 74 00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:11,480 For the same reason that I floss, 75 00:03:11,548 --> 00:03:13,181 have a bed frame, and keep my guitar in its case... 76 00:03:13,249 --> 00:03:14,583 I'm over 23. 77 00:03:14,651 --> 00:03:16,852 I'm proud of you for handling it peacefully, Jeff, 78 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:20,356 like a certain little birthday boy. 79 00:03:20,423 --> 00:03:23,727 Real men turn the other cheek. 80 00:03:23,794 --> 00:03:25,595 Let's see 'em. Nonsense. 81 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:26,897 Men were wired to fight each other 82 00:03:26,964 --> 00:03:28,966 so that women could choose the right mate. 83 00:03:29,034 --> 00:03:30,835 No, the real reason men fight 84 00:03:30,902 --> 00:03:32,771 is to release their pent-up gayness. 85 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:34,673 That guy wasn't gay. He had a moustache. 86 00:03:34,740 --> 00:03:36,508 You know what I have? Finals. 87 00:03:36,575 --> 00:03:38,242 Are we cramming for Spanish or not? 88 00:03:38,310 --> 00:03:40,612 I need a 65, or I'm gonna flunk the class. 89 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,814 Why didn't you do the extra-credit assignments 90 00:03:43,882 --> 00:03:44,982 if you knew that you were... 91 00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,150 failing? 92 00:03:46,218 --> 00:03:47,585 Because doing more than the minimum work 93 00:03:47,653 --> 00:03:49,620 is my definition of... 94 00:03:49,688 --> 00:03:51,189 failing. 95 00:03:51,256 --> 00:03:52,757 Quick question... Are you all coming 96 00:03:52,825 --> 00:03:54,559 to my Christmas party right after the final, 97 00:03:54,626 --> 00:03:55,960 or are you stopping home to change 98 00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,528 into your Christmas outfits? 99 00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:03,768 I guess I could wear one of my Hanukah sweaters. 100 00:04:03,835 --> 00:04:06,003 Uh, Annie... 101 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,705 I... I didn't know you weren't, um, Christian. 102 00:04:08,773 --> 00:04:09,939 Yep. 103 00:04:10,007 --> 00:04:12,541 One might even say I'm Jewish. 104 00:04:12,609 --> 00:04:15,144 Oh, t... that's good for you. T... that's wonderful. 105 00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,046 I respect all religions of the world. 106 00:04:17,114 --> 00:04:18,881 - I'm Muslim. - Jehovah's witness. 107 00:04:18,948 --> 00:04:21,150 - Atheist. - The Lord is testing me. 108 00:04:21,218 --> 00:04:23,319 Guys, this is a subject that breeds conflicts. 109 00:04:23,387 --> 00:04:25,622 - Can we please do... - What religion are you, Jeff? 110 00:04:25,689 --> 00:04:28,624 I'm agnostic. 111 00:04:28,692 --> 00:04:32,162 Agnostic... lazy man's atheist. 112 00:04:32,229 --> 00:04:33,830 - I'm born-again. - Oh. 113 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:35,131 Yeah, we had a re-birthing ritual 114 00:04:35,199 --> 00:04:36,666 in my friend's hot tub. 115 00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:40,636 I'm now a level-five laser lotus in my Buddhist community. 116 00:04:40,704 --> 00:04:42,538 Uh, that does not sound like Buddhism. 117 00:04:42,606 --> 00:04:43,840 Are you sure you're not in a cult? 118 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:46,209 Just by asking me that question, 119 00:04:46,276 --> 00:04:48,344 you've put me back down to a level four. 120 00:04:48,412 --> 00:04:50,980 You now owe me 2,000 Energon cubes. 121 00:04:51,048 --> 00:04:53,249 Do you know how foolish you sound right now? 122 00:04:53,317 --> 00:04:56,519 What else do you believe in, blood transfusions? 123 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:59,155 Jehovah's witnesses are a type of Christian, right, Troy? 124 00:04:59,224 --> 00:05:01,758 Yeah, but we don't celebrate birthdays or Christmas, 125 00:05:01,826 --> 00:05:03,060 and we can't drink. 126 00:05:03,127 --> 00:05:04,428 But it helps. 127 00:05:04,495 --> 00:05:05,763 So you're like a Muslim. Salaam alaikum. 128 00:05:05,830 --> 00:05:07,664 Shama-lama-ding-dong. 129 00:05:07,732 --> 00:05:10,100 Wow, don't we have a diverse little family. 130 00:05:10,168 --> 00:05:12,836 I say we open up this... this party to all faiths. 131 00:05:12,904 --> 00:05:14,337 I brought my star of Bethlehem, 132 00:05:14,405 --> 00:05:17,708 which led the wise men to the savior of all mankind. 133 00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:20,243 And you guys can bring a little trinket or doodad 134 00:05:20,311 --> 00:05:21,912 from your philosophies. 135 00:05:21,979 --> 00:05:23,046 Sounds good? 136 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:24,247 As an agnostic, 137 00:05:24,315 --> 00:05:26,215 I'm gonna bring my winning smile. 138 00:05:26,283 --> 00:05:27,650 That's not enough. 139 00:05:37,762 --> 00:05:41,432 Ugh! So boring. 140 00:05:41,499 --> 00:05:44,468 Done. Hee hee. 141 00:05:44,535 --> 00:05:46,236 Hee hee. 142 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:49,840 Hmm. Feliz Navidad. 143 00:05:49,908 --> 00:05:53,778 "True or falso or none of the above?" 144 00:05:53,846 --> 00:05:55,646 That doesn't make any sense. 145 00:05:59,851 --> 00:06:01,318 Hey, look at that. 146 00:06:01,386 --> 00:06:02,686 Forehead's taking a test. 147 00:06:02,754 --> 00:06:04,388 Why don't you get going, Chuck Norris? 148 00:06:04,456 --> 00:06:07,124 Did you just shoo me? 149 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,759 Why don't you just kiss him already? 150 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:11,262 Dude, I will shoo your nose down your throat! 151 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,230 Senor Chang, can you do something about this? 152 00:06:13,298 --> 00:06:16,433 I'll allow it. 153 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,936 Que pasa here, huh? 154 00:06:20,571 --> 00:06:23,006 It's usted, dude. Even I know that. 155 00:06:26,043 --> 00:06:28,745 You picked the wrong day to correct my Spanish, no sleeves. 156 00:06:28,813 --> 00:06:30,146 It's on! 157 00:06:30,214 --> 00:06:32,114 He's doing this for me. He's my bodyguard. 158 00:06:32,182 --> 00:06:34,083 - You wanna dance? - Maybe to some show tunes? 159 00:06:34,151 --> 00:06:35,518 No, I want to beat the crap out of you. 160 00:06:35,585 --> 00:06:37,119 And I'm gonna enjoy it, 161 00:06:37,187 --> 00:06:38,454 because you're just like this school. 162 00:06:38,522 --> 00:06:39,789 You're obnoxious, you're cramping my style, 163 00:06:39,856 --> 00:06:41,290 and you smell like French-fry oil. 164 00:06:41,358 --> 00:06:42,992 I don't get it! 165 00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,296 But not the one by the parking lot! 166 00:06:46,363 --> 00:06:48,665 Right! The one by the trash cans near the orange cones 167 00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:49,666 where they're building the wheelchair ramp! 168 00:06:49,733 --> 00:06:51,000 Yeah. 169 00:06:51,068 --> 00:06:53,737 Best exam ever. 170 00:06:53,804 --> 00:06:56,005 That guy's awesome, man. 171 00:07:00,076 --> 00:07:01,477 So help me if that jerk-weed made me fail. 172 00:07:01,544 --> 00:07:04,113 Well, I aced it, amigo. That means "cousin". 173 00:07:04,181 --> 00:07:05,748 So what's my role going to be in the fight? 174 00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,484 Is there a key moment where I finally stand up for myself 175 00:07:07,551 --> 00:07:08,585 and take revenge on the villain? 176 00:07:08,653 --> 00:07:10,888 Uh, maybe you should just hang back. 177 00:07:10,956 --> 00:07:12,990 Yeah I will. In his face! 178 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,024 Whatever you do, 179 00:07:14,092 --> 00:07:15,559 don't tell Shirley about the fight. 180 00:07:15,627 --> 00:07:19,063 She'll start in with all her mother-y, guilt-inducing powers. 181 00:07:19,131 --> 00:07:20,564 - You know what I mean? - No. 182 00:07:20,632 --> 00:07:23,067 I'm wearing this Jesus bracelet 'cause it gets me chicks. 183 00:07:23,135 --> 00:07:24,635 I know guys like this Mike. 184 00:07:24,703 --> 00:07:26,638 He used to be a nerd. Now he's a meathead. 185 00:07:26,705 --> 00:07:28,006 Dangerous combo. 186 00:07:28,074 --> 00:07:31,343 Tyson, Lou Ferrigno, Rosie O'Donnell. 187 00:07:31,411 --> 00:07:33,813 You're a pretty big dude. Probably got some moves. 188 00:07:33,881 --> 00:07:36,549 Yeah, I got some... theories. 189 00:07:36,617 --> 00:07:38,451 - You've never been in a fight? - Technically, no. 190 00:07:38,519 --> 00:07:40,086 I guess I'm too charming and likable. 191 00:07:40,154 --> 00:07:41,154 Call me a name. 192 00:07:43,057 --> 00:07:44,458 I can't. 193 00:07:44,526 --> 00:07:46,928 Are you telling me you've never been punched in the face? 194 00:07:46,996 --> 00:07:49,497 No, thank God. This is the moneymaker. 195 00:07:49,565 --> 00:07:50,999 First time I got punched in the face, 196 00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:53,002 I was like, "Oh, no!" 197 00:07:53,069 --> 00:07:56,271 But then I was like, "This is a story". 198 00:07:56,339 --> 00:07:57,739 And a good one. 199 00:07:57,807 --> 00:07:58,907 Yeah. 200 00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:00,141 Every man should be punched in the face. 201 00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:01,142 It's a rite of passage. 202 00:08:01,210 --> 00:08:03,178 In my day, Friday night was 203 00:08:03,246 --> 00:08:04,879 smoke a doobie, feel up a gal, 204 00:08:04,947 --> 00:08:07,215 and then get your teeth knocked out by a republican. 205 00:08:07,283 --> 00:08:09,184 Guys the plan here isn't for me to get hit. 206 00:08:09,252 --> 00:08:10,451 It's for me to hit him. 207 00:08:10,519 --> 00:08:11,819 Oh, then it's settled. 208 00:08:11,887 --> 00:08:13,688 We have to teach Jeffrey how to fight. 209 00:08:13,756 --> 00:08:15,289 I know a few moves. 210 00:08:15,357 --> 00:08:17,524 Troy, I assume you're handy with a switchblade. 211 00:08:17,592 --> 00:08:19,393 Abed, you get back to the family tent, 212 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:21,528 try to find a chicken for Jeff to Chase. 213 00:08:21,595 --> 00:08:24,530 Guys, I appreciate the enthusiasm, 214 00:08:24,598 --> 00:08:26,832 but, uh, I think I got this. 215 00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:28,901 Oh, well, look who it is. 216 00:08:28,968 --> 00:08:30,669 We got forehead, old head, 217 00:08:30,736 --> 00:08:34,172 dumb head, and, uh... the other head. 218 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,109 See you at 3:00, forehead. 219 00:08:37,176 --> 00:08:40,045 Give me a snowman, dork! 220 00:08:40,113 --> 00:08:43,783 See this, funny guy? Huh? 221 00:08:45,819 --> 00:08:49,055 Huh? 222 00:08:49,123 --> 00:08:50,590 Classic Rosie. 223 00:08:50,658 --> 00:08:52,292 Fight lessons in a half an hour? 224 00:08:52,359 --> 00:08:55,062 Good plan. 225 00:09:04,874 --> 00:09:07,209 Hello. Oh. 226 00:09:07,277 --> 00:09:09,646 Is this your Hanukkah holder? 227 00:09:09,713 --> 00:09:11,915 It's, uh... it's pretty. 228 00:09:11,983 --> 00:09:14,551 We'll just, uh... Let's just put it... 229 00:09:14,619 --> 00:09:16,419 There we go. That's nice. 230 00:09:16,487 --> 00:09:19,423 So I can't believe 231 00:09:19,490 --> 00:09:21,391 I never knew you were a Jew. 232 00:09:21,459 --> 00:09:24,862 I'd say the whole word next time. 233 00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:30,802 So, uh, do you think everyone will start arriving soon? 234 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,670 I think they're gonna come after Jeff's fight. 235 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:34,638 After Jeff's what now? 236 00:09:34,706 --> 00:09:37,275 Jeff wants to fight that bully. 237 00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,177 On Christmas? 238 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,847 Um, will you excuse me for a moment? 239 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:45,183 And can you finish the manger scene? 240 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:50,087 We know you were one of us. 241 00:09:55,060 --> 00:09:56,460 'Sup? 'Sup? 242 00:09:56,528 --> 00:09:57,795 'Sup! 243 00:09:57,863 --> 00:09:59,163 No, it's a question. 244 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:01,266 'Sup? 'Sup? 245 00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,901 Not a real question, a rhetorical one. 246 00:10:02,969 --> 00:10:05,170 You have the answer. He does not. 247 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,907 Okay, then you give him the forest Whitaker eye. 248 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,308 - That's pretty good. - Mm-hmm. 249 00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:10,610 Okay, hold that stare. 250 00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,178 There you go. Hold it. 251 00:10:12,246 --> 00:10:14,146 Then you look straight through his eyes 252 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,347 and deep into his soul. 253 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,315 And then you move to Vermont. 254 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:17,816 I am sick and tired 255 00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,418 of you saying that fighting is gay! 256 00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:20,853 She's got a point. 257 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,087 You know, in boxing, you fight for the purse and the belt. 258 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,588 I've gotta write a paper about that. 259 00:10:23,656 --> 00:10:24,756 All right, I've seen enough. 260 00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:25,857 Let's see what we're working with. 261 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,626 Go ahead, throw a few at the old paws. 262 00:10:30,562 --> 00:10:32,263 What are you, a North Korean seamstress? 263 00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:33,297 Not if that's bad. 264 00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:35,166 Get mad! Come on! 265 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,169 If it helps, think of me as somebody who annoys you. 266 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,539 Ooh, that's it! That's... that's good. 267 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:42,441 Britta, put your blouse back on. 268 00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,977 Oh! Ow! 269 00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:46,012 Boys, this is not a game. 270 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,147 You gotta be ready for anything. 271 00:10:47,215 --> 00:10:49,216 Dude, that is not cool! 272 00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:50,951 Well, that foxy Black girl thinks it is. 273 00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,786 Hmm? Ow! 274 00:10:52,854 --> 00:10:55,122 - What are you doing? - Why does she have to be black? 275 00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:56,824 What is going on? 276 00:10:56,891 --> 00:11:03,830 We're trying to get Jeff ready for the fiiiii...iiight. 277 00:11:03,898 --> 00:11:06,166 I couldn't think of another word. 278 00:11:06,234 --> 00:11:07,368 Idiot. 279 00:11:07,435 --> 00:11:10,370 He meant we were figh... 280 00:11:10,438 --> 00:11:12,005 ...ting. 281 00:11:12,073 --> 00:11:13,474 It is hard to think of another word. 282 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:15,075 You realize there's no other way for me to take this 283 00:11:15,143 --> 00:11:16,210 than as a giant middle finger 284 00:11:16,277 --> 00:11:17,544 to the most important day of the year. 285 00:11:17,612 --> 00:11:19,046 December 10th? 286 00:11:19,114 --> 00:11:22,116 It's our Christmas, and I'm having a party. 287 00:11:22,184 --> 00:11:24,551 Due to my divorce and my relatives picking sides, 288 00:11:24,619 --> 00:11:25,986 this will be the only Christmas party 289 00:11:26,054 --> 00:11:27,587 I throw this year. 290 00:11:27,655 --> 00:11:30,991 Will you be there, or will I have another family 291 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,425 letting me down? 292 00:11:32,493 --> 00:11:36,663 I told him not to fight. He wouldn't listen. 293 00:11:36,731 --> 00:11:40,133 I don't know what that is. 294 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:43,902 Jeffrey, 295 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,171 I have two boys. 296 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,006 And when we have a serious discussion, 297 00:11:48,074 --> 00:11:50,308 I find that a brownie helps them to relax. 298 00:11:51,810 --> 00:11:54,845 So why do you hate me and Jesus? 299 00:11:54,913 --> 00:11:57,248 I don't think my brownie's working. 300 00:11:57,315 --> 00:11:59,050 Please don't do something so ugly 301 00:11:59,117 --> 00:12:00,751 on a day so important to me. 302 00:12:00,819 --> 00:12:02,720 Again, it's December 10th. 303 00:12:02,787 --> 00:12:05,223 You think religion is stupid? 304 00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,323 No, no. 305 00:12:06,391 --> 00:12:08,592 To me, religion is like Paul Rudd. 306 00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:11,329 I see the appeal, and I would never take it away from anyone. 307 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,097 But I would also never stand in line for it. 308 00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:14,899 And look, Shirley, 309 00:12:14,967 --> 00:12:16,701 the die has been cast with this crazy bully guy. 310 00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,271 He picked on Abed, and he corrected my Spanish. 311 00:12:19,338 --> 00:12:22,208 So you go to your party, and I'll see you soon. 312 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:25,378 Jeffrey, I forbid you from fighting. 313 00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:28,715 Well, you don't get to. You're not my mom. 314 00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:29,950 You're right. 315 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,652 But if you show up for the fight, 316 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,454 don't show up for my party. 317 00:12:33,521 --> 00:12:34,655 Oh, come on, Shirley, don't be mad. 318 00:12:34,723 --> 00:12:36,823 I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. 319 00:12:36,891 --> 00:12:39,660 That's "mom" for mad. 320 00:12:44,258 --> 00:12:47,794 Oh, hash browns and applesauce... That's nice. 321 00:12:47,862 --> 00:12:50,296 Oh, what is that interesting smell? 322 00:12:50,364 --> 00:12:52,599 It's a traditional Muslim dish. 323 00:12:52,666 --> 00:12:54,400 It looks delicious. 324 00:12:54,468 --> 00:12:56,769 I'm guessing as a woman I won't be allowed to eat that. 325 00:12:56,837 --> 00:12:59,839 That's too bad. 326 00:12:59,907 --> 00:13:02,108 Oh, look, Britta brought what she believes in... 327 00:13:02,176 --> 00:13:03,710 nothing. 328 00:13:03,777 --> 00:13:05,612 Where should I put my Buddha incense holder? 329 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:08,815 I'm pretty sure that's a bong. 330 00:13:08,883 --> 00:13:09,916 Where's Jeff? 331 00:13:12,119 --> 00:13:14,787 I guess he made his choice. 332 00:13:14,855 --> 00:13:16,623 I want to go to Jeff's fight. 333 00:13:16,690 --> 00:13:18,285 As I told Jeff, no one that goes to the fight 334 00:13:18,352 --> 00:13:19,453 can come to my party. 335 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:20,454 He's dead to me. 336 00:13:20,521 --> 00:13:21,888 And if any of you leave, 337 00:13:21,956 --> 00:13:24,291 you'll be dead to me too. 338 00:13:24,358 --> 00:13:25,826 Let's sing. 339 00:13:25,893 --> 00:13:31,692 # Jesus is a friend of mine # 340 00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:31,898 everybody! 341 00:13:31,966 --> 00:13:33,967 # Jesus is a friend of mine # 342 00:13:34,035 --> 00:13:36,336 Come on, everybody. You don't know it? 343 00:13:36,404 --> 00:13:38,505 You're banning Jeff from the party? 344 00:13:38,573 --> 00:13:39,906 That doesn't seem very Christian. 345 00:13:39,974 --> 00:13:42,909 Well, that's an interesting point of view 346 00:13:42,977 --> 00:13:44,811 coming from an atheist. 347 00:13:44,879 --> 00:13:48,548 I did my best to create a special Christmas 348 00:13:48,616 --> 00:13:51,284 for my one intact family, and... 349 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:54,254 this is the thanks I get. 350 00:13:54,322 --> 00:13:57,390 Shirley, you are a guilt machine. 351 00:13:57,458 --> 00:13:58,859 And Annie knows a thing or two about guilt. 352 00:13:58,926 --> 00:14:00,126 Am I right, Jew? 353 00:14:00,194 --> 00:14:02,162 Say the whole word! 354 00:14:02,230 --> 00:14:04,931 Jewie? 355 00:14:04,999 --> 00:14:06,867 You would never catch a Jehovah's witness 356 00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:08,168 saying "Jewie". 357 00:14:08,236 --> 00:14:10,170 Tell it to the birthday cake you never got. 358 00:14:10,238 --> 00:14:12,005 You know, there's an old Buddhist saying 359 00:14:12,073 --> 00:14:13,240 in my vision group. 360 00:14:13,307 --> 00:14:15,008 You are not a Buddhist. You are in a cult. 361 00:14:15,076 --> 00:14:17,954 Suck it, Nietzsche! 362 00:14:18,022 --> 00:14:20,290 Guys, everyone's faith is weird. 363 00:14:20,357 --> 00:14:21,524 Let's just not talk about it. 364 00:14:21,592 --> 00:14:23,026 There's nothing weird about Christianity. 365 00:14:28,566 --> 00:14:31,167 Guys! Guys! Guys! Guys! 366 00:14:31,235 --> 00:14:34,471 Are we really gonna let religion divide us like this? 367 00:14:34,538 --> 00:14:36,639 I think there's one thing we can all agree on. 368 00:14:36,707 --> 00:14:38,808 - I get 72 virgins in heaven. - No. 369 00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:41,978 That we would all like to have Jeff at this party. 370 00:14:42,046 --> 00:14:43,680 - Mm-mm. - He can't come. 371 00:14:43,747 --> 00:14:45,448 - Shirley. - Mm-mm. 372 00:14:45,516 --> 00:14:46,549 Shirley, listen. 373 00:14:46,617 --> 00:14:47,884 I get that this is your first Christmas 374 00:14:47,952 --> 00:14:50,220 since your husband left you, and I don't know, 375 00:14:50,287 --> 00:14:52,489 maybe that's why you're being so stubborn, 376 00:14:52,556 --> 00:14:55,058 because you're trying so hard to re-create something 377 00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,727 that you're afraid that you've lost forever. 378 00:14:57,795 --> 00:15:00,497 But if you really want us to be your second family, 379 00:15:00,564 --> 00:15:03,233 then you've gotta start treating us like one, 380 00:15:03,300 --> 00:15:05,902 even if that means supporting us 381 00:15:05,970 --> 00:15:08,338 when we do things that you don't agree with. 382 00:15:08,405 --> 00:15:11,474 You can start by rooting for Jeff 383 00:15:11,542 --> 00:15:13,910 while he rolls around on the ground 384 00:15:13,978 --> 00:15:17,080 groping another man. 385 00:15:17,147 --> 00:15:19,883 That's what I'm gonna do. 386 00:15:30,199 --> 00:15:33,019 The cranberry sauce has real cranberries. 387 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,020 Look, if he doesn't show up, 388 00:15:35,677 --> 00:15:37,044 We're definitely going to Applebee's, right? 389 00:15:37,112 --> 00:15:38,479 Yeah. 390 00:15:38,547 --> 00:15:40,214 I'm getting into a fight no matter what today, dude. 391 00:15:40,282 --> 00:15:41,716 No matter what! 392 00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:43,785 Look who showed. 393 00:15:43,852 --> 00:15:47,688 Oh, check him out. Ahh...ahh! 394 00:15:47,756 --> 00:15:50,525 What's up, dude? No backup today? 395 00:15:50,592 --> 00:15:52,527 Huh? Looks like grandpa and weirdo 396 00:15:52,594 --> 00:15:54,228 couldn't show up to get their teeth knocked out, huh? 397 00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:55,830 Can I ask you a question? 398 00:15:55,898 --> 00:15:57,932 Are you perpetually on your way to the gym? 399 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,600 Dude, my life is a gym! 400 00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,469 - Well, 'sup? - 'Sup, man? 401 00:16:01,537 --> 00:16:02,770 - 'Sup? - 'Sup? 402 00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:04,172 - 'Sup? 'Sup? - 'Sup? 'Sup? 403 00:16:04,239 --> 00:16:06,007 - 'Sup? 'Sup? - 'Sup? 'Sup? 404 00:16:06,074 --> 00:16:08,075 'Sup? 'Sup? 405 00:16:08,143 --> 00:16:09,911 Whoa. 406 00:16:09,978 --> 00:16:11,746 Dude, what is that? 407 00:16:11,814 --> 00:16:14,415 All right, just one sec. These are very expensive. 408 00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,688 All right... 409 00:16:20,756 --> 00:16:21,689 Dude, you wear a bracelet? 410 00:16:25,794 --> 00:16:28,563 Your name's Mike, right? 411 00:16:28,630 --> 00:16:30,364 So? 412 00:16:30,432 --> 00:16:32,266 Mike, I'm not gonna fight you. 413 00:16:32,334 --> 00:16:34,702 I have a friend that believes this is the time of year 414 00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:36,170 where you put aside your differences, 415 00:16:36,238 --> 00:16:37,271 and you make peace. 416 00:16:37,339 --> 00:16:40,107 Me... I don't believe in any of that, 417 00:16:40,175 --> 00:16:41,532 but I do believe in friendship. 418 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,935 And as much as I hate you and the cast of breakin', 419 00:16:45,003 --> 00:16:46,170 I have to ask myself, 420 00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:48,038 what would Shirley do? 421 00:16:49,474 --> 00:16:50,841 - Oh! - What would Shirley do? 422 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:52,476 - I think... - What would Shirley do? 423 00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:55,246 That she would shake your hand 424 00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:57,014 and wish you a Merry Christmas. 425 00:16:57,082 --> 00:16:58,649 Daa! 426 00:16:58,717 --> 00:17:01,752 Jeffrey... 427 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,854 Kick his ass! 428 00:17:03,922 --> 00:17:05,456 Cavalry's here. Shirts off, boys! 429 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:07,792 Come on, I'm being punked, right? 430 00:17:07,859 --> 00:17:09,059 Come here. Come here. 431 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,455 Please, it's Christmas. 432 00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:41,292 It's December 10th! 433 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:44,028 Not the moneymaker. Not the moneymaker! 434 00:17:44,095 --> 00:17:45,563 Ow! Ow! 435 00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:48,265 Aah! 436 00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:51,902 You're welcome! 437 00:18:41,407 --> 00:18:43,742 Yeah! That was really good. 438 00:18:43,810 --> 00:18:45,911 - Yeah! - That was nice. 439 00:18:45,978 --> 00:18:47,213 Thank you, thank you. I get it, yes. 440 00:18:47,281 --> 00:18:48,848 It is I, Senior Chang. 441 00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:50,783 Shakira, hold this. 442 00:18:50,851 --> 00:18:55,555 So... I have finished grading everyone's finals, 443 00:18:55,622 --> 00:18:58,891 and all of you are moving on. 444 00:19:00,828 --> 00:19:02,695 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yes. 445 00:19:02,763 --> 00:19:05,698 Heh heh heh, except... for Jeff. 446 00:19:05,766 --> 00:19:07,900 Turns out you... 447 00:19:07,968 --> 00:19:11,270 pause for dramatic effect... 448 00:19:11,338 --> 00:19:14,373 will be seeing me next semester. 449 00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:16,409 Noooooooo! 450 00:19:16,476 --> 00:19:19,301 In Spanish 102! Heh heh heh. 451 00:19:19,369 --> 00:19:21,103 Because he passed, you know. 452 00:19:21,171 --> 00:19:22,505 And I'm the only Spanish teacher. 453 00:19:22,572 --> 00:19:23,873 Yay! 454 00:19:23,940 --> 00:19:26,075 I meant about Jeff passing. 455 00:19:26,143 --> 00:19:27,877 You being our Spanish teacher... 456 00:19:27,944 --> 00:19:29,111 Eh. 457 00:19:29,179 --> 00:19:31,647 Whoa. 458 00:19:31,715 --> 00:19:33,516 Man, Mike got you good. 459 00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,584 Actually, uh, that was my present to Jeff. 460 00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:39,188 I don't care. I got a Mountain to shred. 461 00:19:39,256 --> 00:19:42,792 Jeffrey, you're a man now. 462 00:19:42,859 --> 00:19:43,926 How's it feel? 463 00:19:43,994 --> 00:19:45,561 I got hit in the face, like, four times 464 00:19:45,629 --> 00:19:46,962 before you punched me. 465 00:19:47,030 --> 00:19:49,665 Some people just don't know how to say thank you. 466 00:19:49,733 --> 00:19:52,168 Pierce, thank you. 467 00:19:53,737 --> 00:19:56,438 And thanks to all of you 468 00:19:56,506 --> 00:20:00,276 for showing up and having my back 469 00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:02,845 when we fought those fly dancers. 470 00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:04,680 So, uh... 471 00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,350 - Merry... - No, no, no, no, no. 472 00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:10,286 Holiday. 473 00:20:10,353 --> 00:20:12,922 Actually, I was gonna say merry semester 474 00:20:12,989 --> 00:20:15,825 and happy new one. 475 00:20:15,892 --> 00:20:17,760 Here we go. Here we go. 476 00:20:17,828 --> 00:20:19,595 - Switch. - Switch, switch glasses. 477 00:20:19,663 --> 00:20:42,189 Sync by YesCool - Corrected by 4be1 www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net