1 00:00:01,441 --> 00:00:03,075 welcome back! 2 00:00:03,143 --> 00:00:05,877 - Hi. - Hello. 3 00:00:05,945 --> 00:00:07,279 What did you do over break? - Hi. 4 00:00:07,346 --> 00:00:08,546 - Oh, it was so awesome. 5 00:00:08,614 --> 00:00:09,679 Me and abed played this video game. 6 00:00:09,747 --> 00:00:11,641 It is so dope. It's a whole city. 7 00:00:11,708 --> 00:00:13,196 - You can drive anywhere. - You can rent an apartment. 8 00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:14,224 - You could do your taxes. - But don't get audited 9 00:00:14,292 --> 00:00:15,454 'cause that's bad. 10 00:00:15,522 --> 00:00:16,752 - You could even enroll in community college. 11 00:00:16,815 --> 00:00:19,277 - Right now it sounds as boring as real life, 12 00:00:19,345 --> 00:00:20,677 But it is not. 13 00:00:20,744 --> 00:00:22,839 - Vacations are wasted on the young. 14 00:00:22,906 --> 00:00:25,538 You guys gotta get out there and see the world at some point 15 00:00:25,605 --> 00:00:27,867 Or you're gonna miss your entire lives. 16 00:00:27,935 --> 00:00:30,133 - Where did you go, britta? - Amsterdam, I think. 17 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:31,832 I'll know more when I find my camera. 18 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,098 - Guess what happened to me. 19 00:00:34,166 --> 00:00:36,762 - Oh, pierce, you became a grandfather? 20 00:00:36,829 --> 00:00:38,429 - No, I became even cooler. 21 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,529 These ironic tee shirts are all the rage. 22 00:00:42,096 --> 00:00:43,761 - Let's get one thing straight. 23 00:00:43,829 --> 00:00:45,062 I wish I was still a lawyer. 24 00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:46,795 I'm only here because I'm hot for britta, 25 00:00:46,863 --> 00:00:50,297 And I don't want to be anybody's friend. 26 00:00:50,365 --> 00:00:51,964 Just kidding. 27 00:00:52,032 --> 00:00:54,600 Bring it in here, ya knuckleheads! 28 00:00:57,537 --> 00:00:59,936 You know, I gotta say I took a look back 29 00:01:00,004 --> 00:01:01,738 At the guy I was last semester, 30 00:01:01,804 --> 00:01:04,604 And I realized that guy was a drag. 31 00:01:04,672 --> 00:01:05,938 - No... - Aww... 32 00:01:06,006 --> 00:01:07,439 - Good to hear you admit it, jeff. 33 00:01:07,507 --> 00:01:09,040 - No, the truth is this is a new semester, 34 00:01:09,107 --> 00:01:10,407 A new jeff. 35 00:01:10,475 --> 00:01:11,907 Greendale is where I am, 36 00:01:11,975 --> 00:01:13,708 And I am gonna make the best of it. 37 00:01:13,776 --> 00:01:14,808 - That is nice. 38 00:01:14,876 --> 00:01:15,943 - You're like hawkeye on m.A.S.H. 39 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,110 He kept his upbeat humor and charm 40 00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,544 Even in the 11th year of the korean war. 41 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:20,945 - Yeah, well, don't go changing too much, jeff. 42 00:01:21,012 --> 00:01:23,647 I think we all like you just the way you were. 43 00:01:23,714 --> 00:01:26,648 - Well, I appreciate that, but-- 44 00:01:26,716 --> 00:01:27,882 Did you just teleport here? 45 00:01:27,950 --> 00:01:32,318 - No, I snuck in during the group hug. 46 00:01:32,386 --> 00:01:34,219 You guys don't remember me? 47 00:01:34,287 --> 00:01:36,654 Buddy...From spanish class? 48 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:40,222 - I've never seen you before in my life. 49 00:01:42,224 --> 00:01:43,691 - I've seen buddy before. 50 00:01:43,758 --> 00:01:45,324 He sits in the corner next to the dead plant. 51 00:01:45,392 --> 00:01:46,825 - Thank you, abed. 52 00:01:46,893 --> 00:01:49,293 Sometimes I have a tendency to melt into the background. 53 00:01:49,361 --> 00:01:50,561 It's just my body type. 54 00:01:50,629 --> 00:01:52,495 But I definitely know you guys 55 00:01:52,563 --> 00:01:55,797 From watching you all last semester grow together. 56 00:01:57,699 --> 00:01:59,832 - "f." "f"-minus. 57 00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,900 - Did you say "s"? 58 00:02:01,968 --> 00:02:03,702 - He said "f." 59 00:02:03,769 --> 00:02:07,071 - Who cheated? - I did it. 60 00:02:07,138 --> 00:02:11,007 - Britta cheated? But why? 61 00:02:11,074 --> 00:02:13,308 - Gimme back my bra, annie. 62 00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:16,211 - I'm not even wearing a bra. - Oh! 63 00:02:19,715 --> 00:02:21,880 - I don't even care who wins. 64 00:02:21,948 --> 00:02:23,348 - What? 65 00:02:23,416 --> 00:02:24,616 - I sleep a lot in class. 66 00:02:24,683 --> 00:02:25,750 That one might have been a dream. 67 00:02:25,818 --> 00:02:27,851 - Well, buddy, as you know, 68 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:29,452 We haven't had spanish class yet. 69 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:31,053 So this meeting was more just for catching up... 70 00:02:31,121 --> 00:02:32,388 Between friends. 71 00:02:32,455 --> 00:02:36,657 - I heard that. Let's do it! 72 00:02:36,725 --> 00:02:39,625 - Well-- - so--sorry, britta. 73 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,091 I'll go first. 74 00:02:41,159 --> 00:02:44,560 Uh, I'm sure you guys have a natural rapport and timing, 75 00:02:44,628 --> 00:02:47,629 And, you know, you're scared that adding a new member 76 00:02:47,697 --> 00:02:49,997 Might throw everything off of its natural... 77 00:02:50,065 --> 00:02:56,335 - ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 78 00:02:58,171 --> 00:02:59,204 - ...Rhythm. 79 00:02:59,271 --> 00:03:00,972 I feel like I know you guys already. 80 00:03:01,039 --> 00:03:03,273 So you know, let me in. Just tell me the rules, 81 00:03:03,341 --> 00:03:04,841 And I will follow. 82 00:03:04,908 --> 00:03:07,242 - Well, you already broke the only rule I have. 83 00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:09,210 The rule about worrying about rules. 84 00:03:09,278 --> 00:03:12,079 - That's what I'm saying too! 85 00:03:12,147 --> 00:03:13,346 Yeah! 86 00:03:13,414 --> 00:03:15,348 ♪ spanish studyin' is better ♪ 87 00:03:15,416 --> 00:03:17,450 ♪ when you're buddyin' ♪ 88 00:03:17,517 --> 00:03:25,322 ♪ around, yeah ♪ 89 00:03:31,427 --> 00:03:33,695 - Excuse me, I received a text message 90 00:03:33,762 --> 00:03:35,429 About free sephora samples. 91 00:03:35,497 --> 00:03:37,664 - Ha ha! It was me. 92 00:03:37,732 --> 00:03:40,666 Sorry about the ruse, but I have something better 93 00:03:40,734 --> 00:03:43,868 Than exfoliating soap to rub on you. 94 00:03:43,936 --> 00:03:46,904 An opportunity. Mm. 95 00:03:46,972 --> 00:03:49,140 As you can see, I am resurrecting 96 00:03:49,207 --> 00:03:51,542 The greendale gazette journal mirror! 97 00:03:51,609 --> 00:03:53,209 And we need a student editor. 98 00:03:53,277 --> 00:03:55,110 Someone with real world savvy 99 00:03:55,178 --> 00:03:56,912 That extends beyond how to huff the ink. 100 00:03:56,979 --> 00:03:59,046 - Actually, dean, I'm resolved to spend this semester 101 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,214 Being more... 102 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,482 - This would be your office. 103 00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:07,085 - Relaxed...And awesome. 104 00:04:07,153 --> 00:04:08,553 This is the first desk I've seen in six months 105 00:04:08,621 --> 00:04:10,388 That doesn't have "zeppelin rules" carved into it. 106 00:04:10,455 --> 00:04:12,056 - And you get an english credit. 107 00:04:12,123 --> 00:04:14,391 - Well, that ain't bad neither. I'm in. 108 00:04:14,459 --> 00:04:18,261 - Guys, meet your new editor! 109 00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:20,262 Mr. Winger is very excited to help you bring a voice 110 00:04:20,330 --> 00:04:21,597 Back to the campus. 111 00:04:21,665 --> 00:04:24,566 - Jeff, I need to take your picture. 112 00:04:24,634 --> 00:04:26,101 - We got it. - Okay. 113 00:04:26,168 --> 00:04:28,669 You guys knock yourselves out! 114 00:04:28,737 --> 00:04:30,838 - This is my article on the school's new water heater. 115 00:04:30,906 --> 00:04:33,307 - You got chops, kid, but we need your talent 116 00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,075 On a bigger story. 117 00:04:35,143 --> 00:04:37,877 Pizza wars--who's got the best slice in town? 118 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,112 Start with big nick's. Bring us a large, with sausage. 119 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:43,115 You. I heard a rumor that riley's liquor is 120 00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,316 Selling to underage students. 121 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,318 I need an undercover expose. 122 00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:48,119 Find out how much they'll sell you 123 00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:49,420 Of anything cold and imported. 124 00:04:49,488 --> 00:04:52,123 - You expect me to watch you do that 125 00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:53,324 Without telling on you? 126 00:04:53,392 --> 00:04:55,359 - That's a hard-hitting question, annie. 127 00:04:55,427 --> 00:04:56,627 Are you a reporter? 128 00:04:56,695 --> 00:04:58,428 - No, they've got me editing the crossword 129 00:04:58,496 --> 00:04:59,696 Because I'm a girl. 130 00:04:59,764 --> 00:05:01,031 And because I love crosswords. 131 00:05:01,098 --> 00:05:02,866 - Well, now you love the streets. 132 00:05:02,934 --> 00:05:04,434 You're my ace news hound. 133 00:05:04,502 --> 00:05:05,802 - Ace? You can do that? 134 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,271 - We can do anything we want. It's greendale. 135 00:05:08,339 --> 00:05:11,307 Now go find me that story. 136 00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:14,009 - This character reboot is really gelling for you, jeff. 137 00:05:14,077 --> 00:05:15,210 That was all classic hawkeye. 138 00:05:15,278 --> 00:05:16,578 Sending soldiers out for liquor. 139 00:05:16,646 --> 00:05:18,680 Slyly sidestepping the problematic scrutiny 140 00:05:18,747 --> 00:05:20,915 Of annie "hot lips" edison. 141 00:05:20,983 --> 00:05:23,317 I should build you a still for making hawkeye martinis. 142 00:05:23,384 --> 00:05:25,652 - Of all your pop culture fixations, 143 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:27,621 This is one I can work with, abed. 144 00:05:27,688 --> 00:05:30,523 - Call me radar. - When you've earned it. 145 00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:33,993 Now, I know the news of senor chang's death 146 00:05:34,061 --> 00:05:36,395 Over winter break was a shock to us all. 147 00:05:36,463 --> 00:05:39,431 But we should take comfort in the fact 148 00:05:39,499 --> 00:05:41,066 That he did not suffer 149 00:05:41,134 --> 00:05:43,135 When his moped hit the side of that arby's. 150 00:05:43,202 --> 00:05:45,003 - So sad. 151 00:05:45,071 --> 00:05:47,706 But best semester ever. 152 00:05:50,576 --> 00:05:53,243 Feliz ano nueva, chicas! 153 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:57,012 beat it. All right. 154 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,247 That was a professional actress. 155 00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:02,717 I am a man who can never die. 156 00:06:02,785 --> 00:06:04,352 And this has been your first taste 157 00:06:04,419 --> 00:06:05,919 Of spanish 1-0- dos-- 158 00:06:05,987 --> 00:06:10,657 The semester I get inside your cabesas! 159 00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:29,739 ♪ ♪ 160 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,174 - I saw that coming. 161 00:06:32,242 --> 00:06:34,743 - Hey, guys, see you in study group. 162 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:36,911 Hoo-ah! 163 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:38,380 Ah! 164 00:06:38,447 --> 00:06:42,384 - Uh, jeff, can he really just decide he's one of us? 165 00:06:42,452 --> 00:06:44,119 - He throws off our balance. 166 00:06:44,187 --> 00:06:46,054 We've got three chicks, three dudes, 167 00:06:46,122 --> 00:06:47,722 And now two weirdos. 168 00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:49,156 Sorry, abed. 169 00:06:49,224 --> 00:06:50,491 - Not all weirdos are bad. 170 00:06:50,559 --> 00:06:51,825 But he might be a puckish agent of change 171 00:06:51,893 --> 00:06:52,893 That changes our lives for the better 172 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:53,893 Through a musical montage. 173 00:06:53,961 --> 00:06:55,361 - Or he could have a row of jars 174 00:06:55,429 --> 00:06:56,596 Waiting for our genitals. 175 00:06:56,663 --> 00:06:58,263 - Yo, I need my genitals. 176 00:06:58,331 --> 00:07:00,432 - You know who you guys sound like? 177 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,133 Me, from last semester. 178 00:07:02,201 --> 00:07:04,302 Cynical, elitist, 179 00:07:04,370 --> 00:07:06,170 Rakishly good-looking. - Thank you. 180 00:07:06,238 --> 00:07:07,605 - Well, we should at least get together 181 00:07:07,673 --> 00:07:09,606 To talk about membership policies, right? 182 00:07:09,674 --> 00:07:11,008 - Hey, don't ask me. 183 00:07:11,075 --> 00:07:13,543 Dealing with problems ain't my job no more. 184 00:07:13,611 --> 00:07:16,312 My new job is hanging out, having fun, 185 00:07:16,379 --> 00:07:17,613 And cracking wise. 186 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:18,780 - Oh, it must be nice. 187 00:07:18,848 --> 00:07:20,282 Suppose I decide that's my job. 188 00:07:22,551 --> 00:07:25,886 - 'cause you're hilarious! 189 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,757 - Jeff, I hope you've got an army of raisins 190 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,559 Because I've got a major scoop. 191 00:07:33,626 --> 00:07:34,860 In October, 192 00:07:34,928 --> 00:07:36,795 There was a free toni braxton concert on the quad. 193 00:07:36,863 --> 00:07:37,863 - You don't need to remind me. 194 00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:38,897 - And when a last-minute mix-up 195 00:07:38,965 --> 00:07:40,498 Shifted the show time by an hour, 196 00:07:40,566 --> 00:07:41,866 An anonymous text message went out 197 00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:43,267 Alerting students of the change. 198 00:07:43,335 --> 00:07:45,669 - Okay. - Not okay. 199 00:07:45,737 --> 00:07:47,671 Because the text message was sent exclusively 200 00:07:47,738 --> 00:07:49,105 To black students... 201 00:07:49,173 --> 00:07:51,974 And one french kid named lebron. That's profiling. 202 00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:53,475 This is front-page juice. 203 00:07:53,543 --> 00:07:55,544 Just gotta find out who sent the text. 204 00:07:55,612 --> 00:07:57,212 - Have you called the number that sent it? 205 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:01,883 - Well...Nobody's that stupid, right? 206 00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:05,919 - Aw... 207 00:08:05,987 --> 00:08:09,590 Hello? Um... 208 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:13,527 wrong number. 209 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,998 No, that-- that was a good cover. 210 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:21,567 - So whoever it is keeps hanging up, 211 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,669 But he can't hide forever. 212 00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:27,672 - Annie the reporter. Good times. 213 00:08:27,739 --> 00:08:30,874 Listen up. I just want to say 214 00:08:30,942 --> 00:08:34,311 Thank you guys real much-- much--real much? Duh! 215 00:08:34,378 --> 00:08:37,213 Thank you guys very much for this. 216 00:08:37,281 --> 00:08:39,182 It's a dream come true. 217 00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:40,983 Oh... 218 00:08:41,051 --> 00:08:42,051 - Now let's study some spanish. 219 00:08:42,118 --> 00:08:45,753 - So for the essay, we conjugate... 220 00:08:45,821 --> 00:08:50,191 - Conjugate. Conjugal visit! 221 00:08:50,258 --> 00:08:51,892 lame. 222 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,327 Okay, stick and move. Stick and move. 223 00:08:54,395 --> 00:08:58,431 - Okay, so for the essay portion... 224 00:08:58,499 --> 00:09:01,000 - ♪ annie got an essay portion ♪ 225 00:09:01,068 --> 00:09:03,569 ♪ annie gonna move her luscious fanny ♪ 226 00:09:03,637 --> 00:09:05,671 ♪ all day long ♪ 227 00:09:05,739 --> 00:09:07,807 - Hey, buddy can sing, you guys. 228 00:09:07,875 --> 00:09:09,175 Wow, that's great. 229 00:09:09,243 --> 00:09:13,280 Annie's pretty young. We try not to sexualize her. 230 00:09:13,347 --> 00:09:16,016 - I'm sorry. Whoa! 231 00:09:16,083 --> 00:09:17,783 Okay, look, I-- you know what, 232 00:09:17,851 --> 00:09:19,184 It's your study group, 233 00:09:19,252 --> 00:09:21,085 And I don't know if you perceive it 234 00:09:21,153 --> 00:09:22,085 As something that could be improved, 235 00:09:22,153 --> 00:09:23,186 But I do have some ideas. 236 00:09:23,254 --> 00:09:24,784 Here's the one right here. Boom. 237 00:09:24,852 --> 00:09:26,184 I was thinking, as a group, 238 00:09:26,252 --> 00:09:27,852 We could start saying, "you go, girl." 239 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,453 Not in a way that's, you know, 240 00:09:29,521 --> 00:09:31,922 "oh, I'm so cool saying "you go, girl." 241 00:09:31,989 --> 00:09:33,289 But in a way that we're kinda winking at it. 242 00:09:33,357 --> 00:09:37,559 Bottom line, you guys need a chubby, agile guy. 243 00:09:37,627 --> 00:09:39,760 Did anyone see paul blart: Marl co-- 244 00:09:42,430 --> 00:09:43,797 I'm like that, okay? 245 00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:47,533 I'm fat and I'm... Physical, okay? 246 00:09:47,601 --> 00:09:49,402 And I'm strong. Hmm? And I can kick. 247 00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:51,037 - Oh! 248 00:09:51,105 --> 00:09:53,239 Ow...Oh... - Ooh, sorry. 249 00:09:53,306 --> 00:09:55,708 Jeff-- - no, no, it's fine, it's fine. 250 00:09:55,776 --> 00:09:57,409 It's just a little nosebleed. 251 00:09:57,477 --> 00:09:58,544 I get 'em when it's dry 252 00:09:58,611 --> 00:10:00,245 And when my face gets kicked. 253 00:10:00,313 --> 00:10:01,980 - I'll get some paper towels. 254 00:10:05,450 --> 00:10:07,118 - Did someone say something about a meeting 255 00:10:07,185 --> 00:10:09,653 To discuss member policy? 256 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,180 Well, I think it's obvious to everyone 257 00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,382 That this buddy fellow has a few froot loops loose. 258 00:10:17,449 --> 00:10:18,616 So I think no matter what we do, 259 00:10:18,684 --> 00:10:20,918 We gotta do it with grace and caution. 260 00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:22,719 - I say we keep buddy in the group. 261 00:10:22,787 --> 00:10:24,387 - What? 262 00:10:24,455 --> 00:10:25,521 - I've given it a lot of thought, and frankly 263 00:10:25,589 --> 00:10:27,456 I like his in-your-face style. 264 00:10:27,524 --> 00:10:29,124 - I can't stop thinking about his high kick. 265 00:10:29,192 --> 00:10:31,325 His ratio of girth to hip flexibility 266 00:10:31,393 --> 00:10:32,926 Is mesmerizing. 267 00:10:32,994 --> 00:10:35,161 - I like his idea of ironically saying "you go, girl." 268 00:10:35,229 --> 00:10:36,695 - You go, girl. - You go, girl. 269 00:10:36,763 --> 00:10:38,896 - Wait, so you kick high enough and you get in the group? 270 00:10:38,964 --> 00:10:40,164 - If we're going to add people, 271 00:10:40,232 --> 00:10:41,898 I really think we should consider my friend gary. 272 00:10:41,966 --> 00:10:42,999 - I'm sorry, shirley, 273 00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:45,234 Your friend gary is so boring. 274 00:10:45,302 --> 00:10:46,870 - He was raised in finland. 275 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,339 He doesn't get our humor. 276 00:10:48,406 --> 00:10:49,473 - Well, if we're gonna add a chair 277 00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:52,145 For every bong-ripping good-time charlie 278 00:10:52,213 --> 00:10:53,714 With a song in his heart, 279 00:10:53,782 --> 00:10:55,316 I move we institute hazing. 280 00:10:55,384 --> 00:10:57,484 - Well, in the right stuff, the novel by tom wolfe-- 281 00:10:57,552 --> 00:10:58,718 - This is why we need new blood. 282 00:10:58,786 --> 00:11:00,386 I'm so bored of you pop culture references 283 00:11:00,454 --> 00:11:01,854 And your cigarette-legged jeans. 284 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,690 - My friend gary wears nothing but loose-fitting jeans. 285 00:11:04,758 --> 00:11:07,025 - Gary is off the table. He is a buzz kill. 286 00:11:07,093 --> 00:11:08,994 - He grew up in a land without sun! 287 00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:12,697 - Why don't you like my tight jeans? 288 00:11:12,764 --> 00:11:14,331 - Take a vote. 289 00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:15,332 - They'll probably vote him in. 290 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,700 - They won't. 291 00:11:16,768 --> 00:11:19,670 - Guys, guys, let's take a vote. 292 00:11:19,738 --> 00:11:21,805 - Secret vote. Everybody cover your eyes. 293 00:11:23,674 --> 00:11:25,942 - We won't know the result. - Well, say your vote out loud. 294 00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:27,443 - We'll know each other's voices. 295 00:11:27,511 --> 00:11:28,845 - Troy's got a point. 296 00:11:28,913 --> 00:11:30,380 - Holy crap. Wow. 297 00:11:30,447 --> 00:11:32,348 It says here some guy in seattle went nuts 298 00:11:32,416 --> 00:11:33,917 And killed his entire driver's ed class 299 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,852 With a meat tenderizer. 300 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:40,223 - Oh, no. We have to be careful. 301 00:11:40,291 --> 00:11:43,559 - Okay... On the count of three, 302 00:11:43,627 --> 00:11:45,628 Everybody who wants to keep buddy out, 303 00:11:45,696 --> 00:11:48,130 Raise your hand. 304 00:11:54,938 --> 00:11:56,205 - You lied about the guy in seattle 305 00:11:56,273 --> 00:11:59,108 With the meat tenderizer. 306 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,810 You put your thumb on the scale. 307 00:12:01,878 --> 00:12:02,945 But you did it with a smile, 308 00:12:03,012 --> 00:12:04,813 And you did it so you could keep smiling. 309 00:12:04,881 --> 00:12:05,814 You're hawkeye. 310 00:12:05,882 --> 00:12:07,883 - And with buddy gone, 311 00:12:07,951 --> 00:12:10,052 Staying that way will be a lot easier. 312 00:12:10,119 --> 00:12:12,054 - I am not racist! 313 00:12:12,121 --> 00:12:14,322 I had 20 minutes to let people know 314 00:12:14,390 --> 00:12:15,791 That toni braxton was starting early 315 00:12:15,858 --> 00:12:19,695 And 273 text messages left before my rate tripled. 316 00:12:19,762 --> 00:12:21,496 Racial profiling may not be right, 317 00:12:21,564 --> 00:12:22,831 But it can be economical. 318 00:12:22,899 --> 00:12:24,933 - Tell me, dean, when I refer to you in my article, 319 00:12:25,001 --> 00:12:26,635 Would you prefer "imbecile" or "incompetent?" 320 00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,970 - I prefer "incompetent," but what I really want-- 321 00:12:29,038 --> 00:12:30,304 - It doesn't matter what you want. 322 00:12:30,372 --> 00:12:32,840 The people want the truth. I have to give it to them. 323 00:12:32,908 --> 00:12:36,644 And I won't let anyone stand in my way. 324 00:12:36,711 --> 00:12:38,445 - Excuse me. 325 00:12:38,513 --> 00:12:41,114 - Okay. - Thank you. 326 00:12:41,182 --> 00:12:42,816 Jeffrey, I am the least racist person in the world. 327 00:12:42,884 --> 00:12:47,120 My best friend when I was six years old was a black man. 328 00:12:47,188 --> 00:12:48,955 Look, I've learned my lesson. I've got unlimited texting now. 329 00:12:49,023 --> 00:12:51,857 But if she runs that story, I will lose this job. 330 00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:54,592 And this job is my life. 331 00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:56,661 She listens to you. 332 00:12:56,729 --> 00:13:00,765 - Well, next time we're both hanging out having fun 333 00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:04,701 I could try cracking wise about it with her. 334 00:13:04,769 --> 00:13:05,869 - You do what you think is right. 335 00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:16,944 ♪ ♪ 336 00:13:17,012 --> 00:13:18,312 - That's enough. - Okay. 337 00:13:18,379 --> 00:13:20,546 - I'm just saying it's not exactly watergate. 338 00:13:20,614 --> 00:13:22,148 I mean, you like the dean. 339 00:13:22,215 --> 00:13:23,782 He's trying to help you transfer. 340 00:13:23,850 --> 00:13:25,717 - Yeah, and this time he might succeed. 341 00:13:25,784 --> 00:13:27,284 If this article breaks out, 342 00:13:27,352 --> 00:13:29,486 I can apply for journalism scholarships. 343 00:13:29,553 --> 00:13:31,086 Nobody will care about my time in rehab 344 00:13:31,154 --> 00:13:32,154 If they think I'm a writer. 345 00:13:32,221 --> 00:13:34,121 - Annie, as your upbeat friend, 346 00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:35,655 I gotta say let this go. 347 00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:39,124 - This is greendale, jeff. We can do whatever we want. 348 00:13:49,971 --> 00:13:53,106 - Didn't anyone tell buddy he was out? 349 00:13:53,174 --> 00:13:54,375 - I guess we thought you would. 350 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,515 - Milord, milady. You missed my apology song. 351 00:14:00,582 --> 00:14:02,916 - Yeah, I'll tell 'em about it later. 352 00:14:02,984 --> 00:14:05,217 - Jeff... 353 00:14:05,285 --> 00:14:07,719 I am so sorry about the other day. 354 00:14:07,787 --> 00:14:12,624 - Buddy, yesterday the group took a vote. 355 00:14:15,328 --> 00:14:18,663 - And you seem to have figured out the rest of it. 356 00:14:22,901 --> 00:14:25,969 Was it the high kick? Was it "you go, girl"? 357 00:14:26,037 --> 00:14:27,904 Oh, you guys think you're so cool. 358 00:14:27,971 --> 00:14:29,372 - No, we don't think we're cool at all. 359 00:14:29,439 --> 00:14:30,439 - A little bit. 360 00:14:30,507 --> 00:14:32,775 - I put myself out there for you! 361 00:14:32,842 --> 00:14:37,045 I laid my soul bare! 362 00:14:37,113 --> 00:14:40,181 I made you guys lemon squares with free-range eggs 363 00:14:40,249 --> 00:14:41,782 That I baked with my own hands. 364 00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:43,717 - Maybe a little less sugar next time. 365 00:14:43,785 --> 00:14:45,886 - Well, I'm not leaving. 366 00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:50,123 - Oh, come on. Be relaxed, like me. 367 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,291 Leave. - You're not relaxed. 368 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,359 You're an uptight puppet master, 369 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:55,360 And these are all your little puppets. 370 00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:03,600 - Buddy, just be reasonable and go. 371 00:15:03,668 --> 00:15:06,236 Make me...Hitler. 372 00:15:06,304 --> 00:15:08,805 - Okay, so since buddy's not leaving, 373 00:15:08,873 --> 00:15:12,074 He'll just be the person who we wish wasn't here 374 00:15:12,142 --> 00:15:13,275 While we study. 375 00:15:13,343 --> 00:15:16,077 Try getting that deal from hitler. Shall we? 376 00:15:18,547 --> 00:15:22,750 - I'm studying with you. - No, you're not. 377 00:15:22,817 --> 00:15:24,651 Everyone stop studying. 378 00:15:24,719 --> 00:15:26,286 - Okay. 379 00:15:26,354 --> 00:15:29,188 - You're not in the group. 380 00:15:29,256 --> 00:15:32,657 - Okay, then go study somewhere else. 381 00:15:32,725 --> 00:15:35,326 Hola, mi amigo. 382 00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:38,462 Donde estas la bibliota? 383 00:15:51,307 --> 00:15:54,075 No, no. No, no, no, no! 384 00:15:54,143 --> 00:15:55,610 No, no, no! 385 00:15:55,677 --> 00:15:57,411 No, I want to study spanish! 386 00:15:57,479 --> 00:15:59,647 No! 387 00:15:59,715 --> 00:16:02,750 Noooooooooo! 388 00:16:07,188 --> 00:16:10,690 Ah, I hate you! 389 00:16:10,758 --> 00:16:14,427 I hate your study group! I hate it! 390 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:17,963 You suck! Aah... 391 00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,698 I hate you! 392 00:16:23,368 --> 00:16:24,969 - And you are not running that story! 393 00:16:25,037 --> 00:16:28,172 - Why not? - Because I said so! 394 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,809 Does anybody have a problem with how that was handled? 395 00:16:31,877 --> 00:16:33,411 - It's exactly the way I would have done it, jeff. 396 00:16:40,198 --> 00:16:42,365 - Who are you kidding, abed? 397 00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:44,734 I just dragged a screaming, crying man 398 00:16:44,802 --> 00:16:47,903 Out of a library with his pants down. 399 00:16:47,971 --> 00:16:50,772 No. Martinis are for hawkeyes. 400 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,942 I'm the same uptight jerk I was last semester. 401 00:16:58,079 --> 00:17:00,580 - Jeff, what's your favorite episode of m.A.S.H.? 402 00:17:00,648 --> 00:17:03,616 - The one with, uh, the army. 403 00:17:03,684 --> 00:17:05,551 - That's what I thought. 404 00:17:05,619 --> 00:17:07,420 If you'd ever actually seen the show, 405 00:17:07,487 --> 00:17:08,421 You'd know that hawkeye doesn't just bed nurses 406 00:17:08,488 --> 00:17:09,655 And drink martinis. 407 00:17:09,723 --> 00:17:10,923 He also had blood sprayed on his face 408 00:17:10,991 --> 00:17:12,825 And barked orders when the choppers came in. 409 00:17:12,893 --> 00:17:15,628 If he didn't, people died. 410 00:17:15,695 --> 00:17:17,696 He was a leader, jeff. That's your job. 411 00:17:17,764 --> 00:17:20,265 - Ooh. What's in it for me? 412 00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:21,533 - Hey... 413 00:17:21,601 --> 00:17:24,870 - Annie, I'm sorry that I yelled. 414 00:17:24,937 --> 00:17:26,871 - I'm glad you did. 415 00:17:26,939 --> 00:17:28,874 It didn't even really occur to me what I was doing 416 00:17:28,942 --> 00:17:32,478 Until I saw how upset you were. 417 00:17:32,545 --> 00:17:33,945 And I never want to be the reason you're mad 418 00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:39,451 Because... You're jeff winger. 419 00:17:39,519 --> 00:17:43,054 So...Thanks... For getting mad. 420 00:17:43,122 --> 00:17:46,524 - Well, it was nothing. 421 00:17:48,962 --> 00:17:50,629 I guess that's the upside, isn't it? 422 00:17:58,907 --> 00:18:02,411 Thank you...Radar. 423 00:18:02,479 --> 00:18:04,547 - Ooh, you made me so happy I just peed a little. 424 00:18:07,284 --> 00:18:09,051 - I don't think violence is the answer 425 00:18:09,119 --> 00:18:10,052 When we make decisions about-- 426 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,153 - Oh! 427 00:18:11,221 --> 00:18:12,888 - Hi, guys. 428 00:18:12,955 --> 00:18:14,823 - Hi, buddy. Can you, um... 429 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:17,192 - Excuse us... 430 00:18:17,259 --> 00:18:20,130 - For one... Crazy stalker? 431 00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:26,404 - Listen up. 432 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,840 We outnumber this guy six to one. 433 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:32,077 Annie, you flash your breasts as a decoy for the bum rush. 434 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,945 - Pierce! - Don't be upset. 435 00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:36,248 I didn't pick you as a decoy 'cause your breasts are so old. 436 00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:38,283 - Why is he even here? Hello. 437 00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,118 - I invited him. 438 00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:46,125 Buddy's crime is thinking we're cool. 439 00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:47,727 But I get it. 440 00:18:47,795 --> 00:18:49,329 I mean, if I were him 441 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,364 And I missed out on you guys, 442 00:18:51,432 --> 00:18:54,067 I'd be sitting in that classroom, 443 00:18:54,135 --> 00:18:57,070 Watching, wondering. 444 00:18:57,138 --> 00:18:59,906 So how can I exclude someone from something 445 00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:01,741 That I'm so lucky to have? 446 00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:03,110 - Oh... 447 00:19:03,177 --> 00:19:06,447 - I say we let him in. 448 00:19:08,516 --> 00:19:10,551 Hi, buddy. 449 00:19:10,618 --> 00:19:13,053 Welcome to the group. 450 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:16,488 - Oh, yes! 451 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,089 You will not regret this. 452 00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:21,659 - There he is. 453 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:23,894 Speak of the devil, he's right there. 454 00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:26,964 - Hey, buddy. - Hmm? 455 00:19:27,031 --> 00:19:28,131 - The group thought about what you said. 456 00:19:28,199 --> 00:19:30,500 We took a vote, and you're in. 457 00:19:30,568 --> 00:19:34,337 - Oh ho, no way! I'm in the cool group? 458 00:19:34,404 --> 00:19:35,571 - Look at him. 459 00:19:35,639 --> 00:19:37,905 It's like christmas morning for the guy. 460 00:19:37,973 --> 00:19:39,340 Welcome. 461 00:19:39,408 --> 00:19:42,075 - Oh...This is-- 462 00:19:42,143 --> 00:19:45,044 Oh, this is awkward. 463 00:19:45,111 --> 00:19:47,446 You guys were my safe date. 464 00:19:47,513 --> 00:19:49,547 - Hey, buddy, you don't have to worry about them. 465 00:19:49,615 --> 00:19:51,082 You're with us now. Come on. 466 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:53,451 - Ha ha! Boom! 467 00:19:53,519 --> 00:19:56,353 - I love the kicks. - He's amazing! 468 00:19:56,421 --> 00:19:57,688 - The kicks are the best. 469 00:19:57,756 --> 00:19:59,289 He's just got that kind of-- 470 00:19:59,357 --> 00:20:01,825 You know when some people have it... 471 00:20:05,027 --> 00:20:06,927 - And that, ladies and gentlemen, 472 00:20:06,995 --> 00:20:08,495 Is why I voted to keep him. 473 00:20:08,563 --> 00:20:10,096 - It would have been nice to have 474 00:20:10,164 --> 00:20:11,497 Another person in the group. 475 00:20:11,564 --> 00:20:13,231 - I'll call gary. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net