1
00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,070
Hey. Haven't seen you all day.
2
00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:05,504
[sighs] I've been really busy.
3
00:00:05,572 --> 00:00:07,473
Plus I had to find, like,
30 extra chairs for my classroom,
4
00:00:07,540 --> 00:00:08,707
Since it's family day.
5
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:10,334
Oh, speaking of,
I was going to invite my mom
6
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:11,563
So you could meet her,
7
00:00:11,631 --> 00:00:13,113
But, uh, she still
thinks I'm a lawyer.
8
00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:14,356
- [laughing]
- oh, look!
9
00:00:14,424 --> 00:00:15,932
The human being has a
little human with it--
10
00:00:16,006 --> 00:00:17,812
How blood curdlingly adorable.
11
00:00:17,879 --> 00:00:19,422
Jeff. We need to talk.
12
00:00:19,489 --> 00:00:21,199
What's wrong?
Are you breaking up with me?
13
00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:22,436
Oh. [giggles]
14
00:00:22,504 --> 00:00:25,779
Maybe we don't need to talk.
15
00:00:25,847 --> 00:00:28,287
I'm so excited for
everybody to meet my sons.
16
00:00:28,355 --> 00:00:29,590
Hope they're not twins.
Twins freak me out.
17
00:00:29,657 --> 00:00:30,759
They always know what
the other one is--
18
00:00:30,826 --> 00:00:32,096
- Thinking?
- Yeah.
19
00:00:32,164 --> 00:00:33,265
And they're always
finishing each other's--
20
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,768
- Pie.
- Exactly. It's creepy.
21
00:00:34,836 --> 00:00:36,706
It's gonna be nice
spending time with them.
22
00:00:36,774 --> 00:00:38,876
I don't get to see him that
much since I started school.
23
00:00:38,944 --> 00:00:41,282
My sister likes to joke that
they don't recognize me anymore,
24
00:00:41,349 --> 00:00:42,984
And I like to joke
that she's just jealous
25
00:00:43,052 --> 00:00:44,455
Because she's barren. - Mm.
26
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:45,957
My dad's bringing my cousin abra.
27
00:00:46,024 --> 00:00:47,660
She's visiting from gaza.
28
00:00:47,727 --> 00:00:49,296
Does she look like you
but in a wig and lipstick?
29
00:00:49,363 --> 00:00:50,931
No, that's halle berry.
30
00:00:50,999 --> 00:00:52,033
Abra wears a full burka in public,
31
00:00:52,102 --> 00:00:53,269
So she just looks like someone
32
00:00:53,337 --> 00:00:54,871
Covered head to toe
in black fabric.
33
00:00:54,939 --> 00:00:56,039
Can't believe my grandma's
34
00:00:56,108 --> 00:00:57,809
Rolling her old bones down here.
35
00:00:57,877 --> 00:00:59,479
I gotta pick a cabinet to hide in.
36
00:00:59,546 --> 00:01:00,547
You hide from her?
37
00:01:00,615 --> 00:01:01,915
Yeah. She's crazy.
38
00:01:01,983 --> 00:01:03,484
Troy...
39
00:01:03,552 --> 00:01:06,021
Society programs us to
dispose of the elderly
40
00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:07,724
Because they don't
work or buy things.
41
00:01:07,791 --> 00:01:10,227
But don't be blind to
your grandmother's value.
42
00:01:10,295 --> 00:01:11,529
You need to cherish her.
43
00:01:11,596 --> 00:01:12,697
You cherish her.
44
00:01:12,765 --> 00:01:13,932
I'm sure I will.
45
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:15,701
You know she's not gonna
be around forever.
46
00:01:15,769 --> 00:01:17,270
I wanna believe
you're right, britta.
47
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,940
But you never quite are, are you?
48
00:01:20,007 --> 00:01:21,342
Sorry I'm late.
49
00:01:21,410 --> 00:01:24,079
Was somebody canoodling
with a certain professor?
50
00:01:24,146 --> 00:01:27,049
Actually, no. She dumped me.
51
00:01:27,117 --> 00:01:28,518
- [gasps]
- oh, no!
52
00:01:28,585 --> 00:01:30,052
That's so sad.
53
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,521
I'll give jeff a
shoulder to cry on,
54
00:01:31,589 --> 00:01:32,622
And you boys go put a dead bird
55
00:01:32,690 --> 00:01:33,790
In that bitch's glove compartment.
56
00:01:33,858 --> 00:01:34,925
- Got it.
- Guys.
57
00:01:34,993 --> 00:01:36,427
Guys, sit.
58
00:01:36,495 --> 00:01:38,430
Shirley, I don't need to cry,
I'm fine.
59
00:01:38,497 --> 00:01:41,768
Jeff, we're your friends.
Let it all out.
60
00:01:41,836 --> 00:01:43,337
There's nothing to let out.
61
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,339
I'm just glad I didn't
have to do the dumping.
62
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,275
I mean, then I'd have to
lay low for three weeks
63
00:01:47,343 --> 00:01:49,745
To look sensitive and to
avoid questions of overlap.
64
00:01:49,813 --> 00:01:51,982
But as the dumpee... [scoffs]
65
00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:53,585
I can start making out with
66
00:01:53,652 --> 00:01:55,087
Every girl on campus right now.
67
00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:56,990
And all anyone will
feel for me is sorry.
68
00:01:57,058 --> 00:01:58,860
Ew! Not anymore.
69
00:01:58,928 --> 00:02:00,329
Your heart's desensitized, jeff.
70
00:02:00,397 --> 00:02:03,333
Like a machine,
it feels no love--just sex.
71
00:02:03,401 --> 00:02:06,105
You're like the booty-nator.
72
00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:07,240
You know, the booty-nator--
73
00:02:07,307 --> 00:02:08,541
Like, "I'll be back,
" but with booty?
74
00:02:08,609 --> 00:02:10,411
Why would the booty-nator
be back with booty?
75
00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:11,879
Wouldn't he just try and kill it?
76
00:02:11,947 --> 00:02:13,949
Well, maybe he kills it and
then brings it back as a trophy.
77
00:02:14,017 --> 00:02:16,319
- Why would you want dead booty?
- I want pirate's booty.
78
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,987
- Because you're hungry?
- Guys...
79
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,623
I'll be back.
80
00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:21,658
But with booty. All: Ooh!
81
00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:22,792
- Jeff.
- Nice.
82
00:02:22,860 --> 00:02:25,562
- That's beneath you.
- Gross.
83
00:02:27,299 --> 00:02:29,134
Well, you're too
gorgeous to be a teacher,
84
00:02:29,201 --> 00:02:31,399
And you're too happy
to be a student.
85
00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:32,965
Take me to where
your car broke down.
86
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:34,896
I'm here for family day.
87
00:02:34,964 --> 00:02:36,894
I'm looking for my family.
88
00:02:36,962 --> 00:02:38,395
Oh, well,
I'm sure at the very least
89
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:40,230
I can fill in for a creepy uncle.
90
00:02:40,298 --> 00:02:42,065
Jeff. - Amber.
91
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:43,634
- There she is!
- Hey.
92
00:02:43,701 --> 00:02:45,435
Look at you, all grown up.
93
00:02:45,503 --> 00:02:47,604
Jeff, this is my
stepdaughter, amber.
94
00:02:47,672 --> 00:02:49,139
- Small world.
- No, actually,
95
00:02:49,207 --> 00:02:50,274
It's a very big world
96
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:52,142
With five billion
other women in it.
97
00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:54,345
[laughing] good luck.
98
00:02:54,412 --> 00:02:56,480
Come on, I'll show you around.
99
00:03:01,687 --> 00:03:02,987
[sighs]
100
00:03:03,055 --> 00:03:04,189
I'm back.
101
00:03:04,256 --> 00:03:06,124
- Without booty.
- Now I feel sorry for you.
102
00:03:06,192 --> 00:03:08,026
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
103
00:03:08,094 --> 00:03:10,662
* I can't count the reasons *
104
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:14,834
* I should stay *
105
00:03:14,902 --> 00:03:17,903
[soft chatter]
106
00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:22,474
- Hands in the air!
- Homeland security!
107
00:03:22,542 --> 00:03:24,476
Boys, leave that man alone.
108
00:03:24,544 --> 00:03:27,546
- Orange alert!
- Sorry, they're just excited.
109
00:03:27,614 --> 00:03:29,781
You're abed's father? I'm shirley.
110
00:03:29,849 --> 00:03:31,917
And that's elijah,
like the prophet,
111
00:03:31,984 --> 00:03:34,152
And jordan, like the
14 time nba all-star.
112
00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:36,588
- Gubi nadir.
- Is that how you say hello?
113
00:03:36,656 --> 00:03:38,457
That's my name.
114
00:03:38,524 --> 00:03:40,058
Oh!
115
00:03:40,126 --> 00:03:41,993
I'm sorry. You're
like a black ghost.
116
00:03:42,061 --> 00:03:43,728
This is my cousin. Abra.
117
00:03:43,796 --> 00:03:45,030
Greetings.
118
00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:46,898
[speaking arabic]
119
00:03:46,966 --> 00:03:48,400
Over the course
of seven marriages,
120
00:03:48,467 --> 00:03:50,035
I've amassed some 32 stepchildren.
121
00:03:50,102 --> 00:03:52,304
And obviously, amber's my favorite.
122
00:03:52,371 --> 00:03:54,939
Yeah, there was something
about his mass emails
123
00:03:55,007 --> 00:03:57,742
That made me certain this
would be a family reunion.
124
00:03:57,810 --> 00:03:59,844
Sure is, sweetie.
125
00:03:59,912 --> 00:04:01,846
She's going to photography school.
126
00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:04,315
- Oh, that sounds interesting.
- Keep it in your pants, winger.
127
00:04:04,383 --> 00:04:05,616
You're embarrassing yourself.
128
00:04:05,684 --> 00:04:07,652
She may be hot,
but she's my princess.
129
00:04:07,719 --> 00:04:10,554
Step-princess.
130
00:04:10,622 --> 00:04:12,756
Okay. Family day.
131
00:04:12,824 --> 00:04:14,858
Let's see what we got here.
132
00:04:14,926 --> 00:04:18,927
Wow, I can't believe
star-burns isn't a virgin.
133
00:04:18,995 --> 00:04:21,529
But judging from that
bluetooth headset, his son is.
134
00:04:21,597 --> 00:04:23,331
Cha-ching!
135
00:04:23,398 --> 00:04:26,066
Winger. Too cool for family?
136
00:04:26,134 --> 00:04:28,068
Everyone here is my family.
137
00:04:28,136 --> 00:04:30,770
All: [boos] - weak.
138
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,138
Where's your family, el tigre?
139
00:04:32,206 --> 00:04:34,840
Ugh, my older brother
will be at the barbeque.
140
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:38,543
And it's none of your business,
but I ate my twin in utero.
141
00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:39,778
Oh.
142
00:04:39,845 --> 00:04:41,579
Eh, phantom menace,
143
00:04:41,647 --> 00:04:43,280
How's the trade embargo
with the naboo?
144
00:04:43,348 --> 00:04:45,249
Anyways, ah...
145
00:04:45,316 --> 00:04:47,250
Looks like pierce
broke the piggy bank
146
00:04:47,318 --> 00:04:48,818
At the escort service this time.
147
00:04:48,886 --> 00:04:50,486
Hey! Duck sauce, that was rude.
148
00:04:50,554 --> 00:04:53,322
The call girls I frequent
are not nearly as attractive
149
00:04:53,390 --> 00:04:55,223
As my daughter.
150
00:04:55,291 --> 00:04:57,425
Stepdaughter.
151
00:04:57,493 --> 00:05:00,428
Technically ex-stepdaughter.
152
00:05:00,495 --> 00:05:03,530
You know, your mother April...
153
00:05:03,598 --> 00:05:04,765
Wanda. Her name's wanda.
154
00:05:04,832 --> 00:05:06,032
Was it wanda? Yes.
155
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:08,167
Hold on one second. Excuse me.
156
00:05:08,235 --> 00:05:10,536
Jeff, jeffrey.
157
00:05:10,604 --> 00:05:12,571
The cards are on the table, jeff.
158
00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:15,206
Amber's the best
shot I'll ever have
159
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:17,609
At something like a real daughter
160
00:05:17,676 --> 00:05:19,010
And I'm striking out.
161
00:05:19,077 --> 00:05:20,644
Have you told her she's
prettier than a hooker?
162
00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:23,213
If you come to the barbeque--
163
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,115
And I know you'd never
think of touching her--
164
00:05:25,182 --> 00:05:28,751
Maybe you could say a couple
of cool things about me.
165
00:05:28,819 --> 00:05:32,421
You want me to wingman you
with your ex-stepdaughter?
166
00:05:32,489 --> 00:05:36,124
I'm sorry. I got a thing.
167
00:05:36,191 --> 00:05:38,192
You have a thing?
168
00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:39,560
Yeah, and it's on the rebound.
169
00:05:39,628 --> 00:05:40,861
I'm not subjecting it to a night
170
00:05:40,929 --> 00:05:42,195
With a hot girl that I can't have.
171
00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:44,130
You can't holster
it for a friend?
172
00:05:44,198 --> 00:05:46,232
Please, pierce
is barely a friend,
173
00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:48,266
And he's no more related
to amber than you are,
174
00:05:48,334 --> 00:05:50,301
And he was a total jag
about shutting me down.
175
00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:52,603
- How much effort do I rate?
- For you?
176
00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:55,771
Um, I'd break a light sweat.
177
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:57,272
Good, I need a favor.
178
00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:59,140
Help pierce with his stepdaughter?
179
00:05:59,207 --> 00:06:01,808
You're becoming dangerous, annie.
180
00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:03,276
It's those doe eyes.
181
00:06:03,344 --> 00:06:04,543
Disappointing you is like
182
00:06:04,611 --> 00:06:06,778
Choking the little mermaid
with a bike chain.
183
00:06:06,846 --> 00:06:09,513
Mm.
184
00:06:09,581 --> 00:06:12,849
[gasps] is this nana barnes?
185
00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:15,117
Troy didn't mention you
were such a knockout.
186
00:06:15,184 --> 00:06:17,085
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Oh...
187
00:06:17,153 --> 00:06:19,687
Come on, I'm sure you've broken
a few hearts in your time.
188
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,088
Oh.
189
00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:24,858
Tell me, how many men do
you think I've laid with?
190
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,229
- Who are you?
- I am britta.
191
00:06:29,297 --> 00:06:31,099
And I have offended you.
192
00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:34,306
And I am sorry. Is there
anything I can get you?
193
00:06:34,374 --> 00:06:35,709
Yes.
194
00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:37,911
You can get me a switch.
A what now?
195
00:06:37,979 --> 00:06:39,946
She's not family, nana.
196
00:06:40,014 --> 00:06:41,414
You can't make her
get you a switch.
197
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:44,617
She can make me get it,
I just have to know what it is.
198
00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:47,319
A switch is a stick she
can use to whup you with.
199
00:06:50,456 --> 00:06:53,724
Cherish, britta. Cherish.
200
00:06:53,792 --> 00:06:55,125
[laughing]
201
00:06:55,193 --> 00:06:57,061
Well, it was wonderful
meeting your brother.
202
00:06:57,128 --> 00:07:00,263
Adios, señor chang.
Shalom, rabbi chang.
203
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:01,998
And to both of you, sayonara.
204
00:07:02,065 --> 00:07:04,133
Right? [laughing]
205
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,867
Don't go.
206
00:07:05,935 --> 00:07:08,670
- Señor chang?
- Yeah.
207
00:07:08,737 --> 00:07:10,637
Ben, do you realize how
ridiculous that sounds?
208
00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:12,805
Okay, that is who I am.
209
00:07:12,873 --> 00:07:14,340
So drop it! - I'm dropping.
210
00:07:14,408 --> 00:07:15,475
I'm dropping!
211
00:07:15,543 --> 00:07:16,976
Whoa! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
212
00:07:17,044 --> 00:07:19,579
Amber alert, you are
allergic to peanuts.
213
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,848
That might be a
different stepkid.
214
00:07:21,915 --> 00:07:23,515
My flight actually leaves,
so let's--
215
00:07:23,583 --> 00:07:27,352
Your flight actually leaves
after I tell you a story
216
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:30,388
Called "pierce takes
on the school bully."
217
00:07:30,456 --> 00:07:33,224
Oh. [self-satisfied chuckling]
218
00:07:33,292 --> 00:07:35,659
- Are you a ninja?
- Oh, baby.
219
00:07:35,727 --> 00:07:36,760
Don't be rude.
220
00:07:36,828 --> 00:07:38,095
Oh, she's wearing a burka.
221
00:07:38,163 --> 00:07:39,930
It's a way for women to
express their modesty.
222
00:07:39,998 --> 00:07:41,131
They're like islamic turtlenecks.
223
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:42,866
Ask her if she wants
to play with us.
224
00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:46,669
[speaking arabic]
225
00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:52,140
...Bouncy house.
226
00:07:56,311 --> 00:07:57,611
[both speaking arabic]
227
00:07:57,679 --> 00:07:58,879
That sounds heated.
228
00:07:58,947 --> 00:08:00,614
Did she call him a pig's
anus or something?
229
00:08:00,682 --> 00:08:02,183
[speaking arabic]
230
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:04,952
She's saying she's old enough
to jump in a giant balloon.
231
00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:06,586
[both speaking arabic]
232
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:11,390
She's saying he's overprotective.
233
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,624
Now she says he's a pig anus.
234
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,559
Mm, that fight made
me crave a hot dog.
235
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,895
Stay put, boys. I'll be back.
236
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,396
Hey, give me.
237
00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:20,265
Agh!
238
00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:23,167
Hey. You are a bad mother.
239
00:08:23,235 --> 00:08:24,902
Control your children.
240
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:28,606
I have to go back to my car
and get my emergency shirt.
241
00:08:28,673 --> 00:08:31,875
And I don't even like that shirt!
242
00:08:31,943 --> 00:08:33,443
Not only did he join a band,
243
00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:34,911
They got jealous and booted him.
244
00:08:34,979 --> 00:08:36,546
Get out.
245
00:08:36,613 --> 00:08:38,581
That's exactly what they said.
246
00:08:38,649 --> 00:08:42,851
Off to the bathroom. Stepdad.
247
00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:44,319
I've never been called "stepdad."
248
00:08:44,387 --> 00:08:45,787
I don't think anyone has.
249
00:08:45,855 --> 00:08:47,789
Listen, when she gets back...
250
00:08:47,856 --> 00:08:49,857
Come up with some reason why
you have to leave, okay?
251
00:08:49,925 --> 00:08:51,525
And I'll beg you to stay,
but you don't.
252
00:08:51,593 --> 00:08:52,993
In fact, why don't
you just leave now
253
00:08:53,061 --> 00:08:54,027
And cut our work in half?
254
00:08:54,095 --> 00:08:56,329
Good luck, buddy.
255
00:09:03,603 --> 00:09:04,903
You're leaving.
256
00:09:04,971 --> 00:09:08,272
My...Girlfriend... Is pregnant.
257
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,606
Pierce said you were gay.
258
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:13,109
He-- yep, as the sunrise.
259
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,477
And I'm deeply ashamed.
260
00:09:14,545 --> 00:09:16,612
I'm just glad I have friends
like pierce to keep--
261
00:09:20,383 --> 00:09:22,217
Honest.
262
00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:28,292
This is slightly wrong.
263
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,325
- Too much tongue?
- Oh, just enough.
264
00:09:30,393 --> 00:09:32,060
But it's pierce.
265
00:09:32,128 --> 00:09:34,062
You mean the guy who
decided he doesn't want men
266
00:09:34,129 --> 00:09:35,429
Touching his ex-stepdaughter,
267
00:09:35,497 --> 00:09:37,364
But divorced my mom
for our housekeeper?
268
00:09:37,432 --> 00:09:39,399
Could be the same guy, yeah.
269
00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:43,903
Amber? Amber, there you are.
270
00:09:43,971 --> 00:09:45,070
Why are you here, jeff?
271
00:09:45,138 --> 00:09:46,338
I go to school here, remember?
272
00:09:46,406 --> 00:09:47,739
[chuckling] [clears throat]
273
00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:50,574
There's a pictionary tournament
in the student lounge.
274
00:09:50,642 --> 00:09:52,343
Sounds fun. Is jeff joining us?
275
00:09:52,410 --> 00:09:54,177
I don't know if he can. Can you?
276
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:55,545
- I can't.
- No, come on.
277
00:09:55,613 --> 00:09:56,613
Stay. - Stay.
278
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,814
I can't.
279
00:09:57,882 --> 00:10:01,217
Maybe I shouldn't either.
280
00:10:01,285 --> 00:10:02,852
- Stay, would you?
- Do you think I should?
281
00:10:02,919 --> 00:10:04,053
I think you have to.
282
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,520
- I'll stay.
- Me too.
283
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:07,822
[chuckling] oh, good, family day.
284
00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:12,460
No.
285
00:10:14,696 --> 00:10:15,863
- Whatcha doin'?
- Mm.
286
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:18,198
Getting nana a switch.
287
00:10:18,266 --> 00:10:20,233
Britta, stop pretending that
288
00:10:20,301 --> 00:10:21,401
My mean old nana is awesome.
289
00:10:21,468 --> 00:10:23,002
I'm not pretending.
290
00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:24,270
I think it's cool that
291
00:10:24,337 --> 00:10:25,904
She's got her own
style of discipline.
292
00:10:25,972 --> 00:10:27,873
Nana's old school.
293
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:30,341
Yeah, my mom told me there'd
be white people that did this.
294
00:10:30,409 --> 00:10:32,777
With pocket watches,
and coffee grinders,
295
00:10:32,844 --> 00:10:34,511
And pretending to
be into steam boats.
296
00:10:34,579 --> 00:10:37,114
But let's get this straight.
297
00:10:37,182 --> 00:10:40,617
This is real life.
My nana's gonna whup you.
298
00:10:40,684 --> 00:10:43,719
Not unless I find her a switch.
299
00:10:43,787 --> 00:10:47,021
[gasps]
300
00:10:47,089 --> 00:10:48,889
How about this?
301
00:10:48,957 --> 00:10:50,857
Yeah, that's a
great switch, britta.
302
00:10:50,925 --> 00:10:52,859
Very hip. It should hurt a lot.
303
00:10:52,926 --> 00:10:55,393
Where's elijah and jordan, abed?
304
00:10:55,461 --> 00:10:57,129
Oh, what a surprise
that you lost them.
305
00:10:57,196 --> 00:10:58,797
- They're playing hide 'n' seek.
- Where?
306
00:10:58,865 --> 00:11:00,298
I don't think
that's how it works.
307
00:11:00,366 --> 00:11:01,699
Stop screwing around, abed.
308
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:03,968
Hey, you want to yell at someone?
309
00:11:04,036 --> 00:11:06,470
Go find your crazy kids.
My boy's disciplined.
310
00:11:06,538 --> 00:11:08,472
It's not his job to-- - all right!
311
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,740
You got me, gubi. I'm a bad mother.
312
00:11:10,808 --> 00:11:12,875
But at least I let my kids be kids,
313
00:11:12,943 --> 00:11:14,376
Instead of acting
like a jail warden.
314
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:15,711
Ah, you don't like a burka.
315
00:11:15,778 --> 00:11:17,279
I'm not talking about the burka.
316
00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:19,848
I'm talking about her
never having any fun.
317
00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:22,616
Now abra, you look me in the eyes,
and you tell me...
318
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,118
Um...
319
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,419
I'm sorry.
320
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,920
I seem to have
forgotten the napkins.
321
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,088
Do you mind?
322
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:33,224
Fine. Now I'm the napkin man.
323
00:11:47,803 --> 00:11:49,237
Oh!
324
00:11:49,304 --> 00:11:51,005
Circle.
325
00:11:52,374 --> 00:11:53,507
Circle with a squiggly line.
326
00:11:53,575 --> 00:11:55,242
A squiggly line circle.
327
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:56,910
You've--you did hear
me say "circle"?
328
00:11:58,746 --> 00:12:01,014
Smiling...Sideways vagina.
329
00:12:01,081 --> 00:12:03,515
- No.
- Happy...Sideways vagina.
330
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,617
No.
331
00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:07,318
Happy face.
332
00:12:07,386 --> 00:12:08,619
And that's a clam?
333
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:09,653
"as happy as a clam."
334
00:12:09,721 --> 00:12:10,920
Yes!
335
00:12:10,988 --> 00:12:12,722
"as happy as a clam"? What a--
336
00:12:12,789 --> 00:12:14,489
Gay guess. Idiot.
337
00:12:14,557 --> 00:12:16,090
Pierce, you're up.
338
00:12:16,158 --> 00:12:18,892
Eat my dust, winger.
339
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,129
You do know we're
on the same team?
340
00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:24,765
Go!
341
00:12:26,334 --> 00:12:29,335
All right, here we go, uh...
342
00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:35,539
Look, I don't, uh...
343
00:12:35,607 --> 00:12:37,842
Pierce, you have to add more.
You have to draw more.
344
00:12:41,479 --> 00:12:42,680
Stop.
345
00:12:42,747 --> 00:12:44,582
Stop circling the same thing.
346
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:47,785
Well, guess something,
you girlfriendless geek!
347
00:12:47,853 --> 00:12:49,854
What are you drawing?
348
00:12:49,922 --> 00:12:51,323
You're supposed to know, stupid.
349
00:12:51,391 --> 00:12:53,660
Relax...
350
00:12:53,728 --> 00:12:55,931
I'll get this.
351
00:12:55,999 --> 00:12:58,166
[neck cracking]
352
00:12:58,234 --> 00:12:59,701
I think they'll
both drop charges,
353
00:12:59,769 --> 00:13:01,237
But we gotta take statements.
354
00:13:01,304 --> 00:13:02,338
It's gonna be a while.
355
00:13:02,405 --> 00:13:04,106
And I may just be a simple cop,
356
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,641
But people need to know.
357
00:13:05,709 --> 00:13:07,242
This isn't gonna
stop until pictionary
358
00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:09,177
Bans the word "windmill."
359
00:13:09,245 --> 00:13:11,445
Pierce. We'll meet
you at the gala.
360
00:13:11,513 --> 00:13:12,713
We're gonna go get some coffee.
361
00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:16,148
Is "coffee" code for sex?
362
00:13:16,216 --> 00:13:17,582
Is it?
363
00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:19,217
Both: No.
364
00:13:19,284 --> 00:13:22,719
Nana, here's your switch.
365
00:13:22,787 --> 00:13:27,290
Bring it here.
366
00:13:27,358 --> 00:13:28,525
Oh, I'll make do.
367
00:13:28,593 --> 00:13:30,661
Okay. Let me have it.
368
00:13:30,729 --> 00:13:32,796
I ain't no nun. Bend over.
369
00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:38,668
Drop your pants and
get over my lap.
370
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,303
[whispers] all you
have to do is walk away.
371
00:13:56,283 --> 00:13:59,219
What are you doing?
She's respecting her elders.
372
00:13:59,286 --> 00:14:01,221
See, troy, did you
think I was a hypocrite?
373
00:14:01,288 --> 00:14:02,589
That I wouldn't really-
[whipping noise]
374
00:14:02,656 --> 00:14:03,990
Okay, ow, that really--
375
00:14:04,058 --> 00:14:05,792
Whoo! Okay, that really--
376
00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:08,829
[crying]
377
00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:12,065
[crying] I don't
understand you, britta.
378
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:16,269
I don't understand you at all.
Both: [sobbing]
379
00:14:16,337 --> 00:14:19,572
You know what?
Totally wrong room.
380
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:20,874
Will you get the door? - Mm-hmm.
381
00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:24,310
[screaming] - she's had enough!
382
00:14:24,378 --> 00:14:26,379
[sobbing] she's had enough!
383
00:14:32,385 --> 00:14:35,186
Let's focus on you,
the forbidden fruit
384
00:14:35,254 --> 00:14:37,820
That is the ex-stepdaughter
of a casual acquaintance.
385
00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:39,821
Oh, oops. Don't wanna lose that.
386
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:44,255
Why do you have a $25,
000 check from pierce?
387
00:14:44,323 --> 00:14:46,955
Tuition, for fashion school.
388
00:14:47,022 --> 00:14:48,255
Not photography school?
389
00:14:48,323 --> 00:14:50,157
[giggles]
390
00:14:50,225 --> 00:14:52,292
Mm, you caught me.
391
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,294
Uh, maybe I'll just buy a car.
392
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,095
You just do that, huh?
393
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,596
Well, it helps that
394
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,265
He's kind of desperate and stupid.
395
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,632
Did you wanna be a
good person right now?
396
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,702
Or did you wanna be with me?
397
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,612
Oh, there you are.
Thanks a lot, pollyanna.
398
00:15:10,679 --> 00:15:12,913
You made me hang out with
pierce and his stepdaughter.
399
00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:15,448
She's grifting him. - She's what?
400
00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:17,183
She's taking a bunch
of money from him.
401
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,984
He thinks it's for school,
but it's for...Grifting.
402
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,686
Did you tell him?
403
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:23,554
[sighs] it's not that simple.
404
00:15:23,621 --> 00:15:26,122
It's not?
405
00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:28,122
Oh, my--jeff!
406
00:15:28,189 --> 00:15:29,957
[slaps] gross!
407
00:15:30,024 --> 00:15:32,125
You're gross! You did it with her?
408
00:15:32,193 --> 00:15:34,861
Yeah, but not twice.
I wanted to do it twice.
409
00:15:34,928 --> 00:15:37,563
That's gross!
You met her this morning,
410
00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:40,932
You're faster than some bacteria.
411
00:15:40,999 --> 00:15:42,900
Are you just doing this
because slater hurt you?
412
00:15:42,968 --> 00:15:44,669
What? No, I'm not hurt.
413
00:15:44,737 --> 00:15:46,004
And amber threw herself at me.
414
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,505
Well, you still
have to tell pierce
415
00:15:47,573 --> 00:15:49,740
She's taking advantage of him,
don't you?
416
00:15:49,808 --> 00:15:54,077
Well, when you think about it,
nobody's getting hurt.
417
00:15:54,145 --> 00:15:56,279
Pierce is getting a daughter,
amber's getting an allowance,
418
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,280
I'm getting--well,
we already talked about it.
419
00:15:58,348 --> 00:15:59,948
But don't forget, this is pierce.
420
00:16:00,016 --> 00:16:02,217
He's a racist,
homophobic, old goof.
421
00:16:02,284 --> 00:16:03,718
He does bad stuff all the time.
422
00:16:03,786 --> 00:16:06,353
Well, it sounds like you've
got it all figured out.
423
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:10,055
So why are you talking
to me about it?
424
00:16:10,123 --> 00:16:11,256
Because... [sighs]
425
00:16:11,324 --> 00:16:13,959
You're...You know...
426
00:16:14,026 --> 00:16:15,727
- A decent person?
- Maybe.
427
00:16:15,795 --> 00:16:16,895
And you knew that
talking to me about it
428
00:16:16,962 --> 00:16:18,630
Would make you feel
like a bad friend?
429
00:16:18,697 --> 00:16:20,331
And you wanted to feel
like a bad friend,
430
00:16:20,399 --> 00:16:22,066
Because you wanna be a good friend?
431
00:16:22,134 --> 00:16:24,802
You really suck, you know that?
432
00:16:27,672 --> 00:16:30,373
[electronic pulse] - mm-mm-mm-mm.
433
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,608
Go get you and your brother
some ding dongs and calm down.
434
00:16:32,676 --> 00:16:34,943
- 'sup?
- Oh, abed!
435
00:16:35,011 --> 00:16:36,445
Did your family take off? - Yeah.
436
00:16:36,513 --> 00:16:37,813
Thanks for distracting my dad
437
00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:39,281
While we helped abra
get back in her burka.
438
00:16:39,349 --> 00:16:41,216
Well, if a young lady wants
to go in the bouncy house,
439
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:42,384
She should go.
440
00:16:42,451 --> 00:16:43,785
It was a noble thing you did.
441
00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:45,019
Oh, I didn't do it.
442
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,354
No, it was jordan
and elijah's idea.
443
00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:47,855
They're good kids.
444
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,923
If they weren't, they
wouldn't be able to help abra.
445
00:16:49,991 --> 00:16:52,292
I see why you were so
excited for me to meet them.
446
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,661
You should be proud of them.
You're a good mom.
447
00:16:54,728 --> 00:16:56,028
Oh, come on.
448
00:16:56,096 --> 00:16:57,263
[tapping]
449
00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:58,330
Mm. - Hey, mom.
450
00:16:58,398 --> 00:16:59,464
Look what I got.
451
00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:03,501
Ding dongs are my favorite.
452
00:17:03,569 --> 00:17:05,302
[soft band music]
453
00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:08,271
[laughing] pretty rough, huh?
454
00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:10,640
Mm, you were right.
Nana's a monster.
455
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,308
What did you say?
456
00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:14,543
I said you were a monster, ma'am.
457
00:17:14,611 --> 00:17:18,680
And you said troy was right.
458
00:17:18,748 --> 00:17:19,847
Get me a switch.
459
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:22,649
Okay.
460
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,921
Hey, stranger.
461
00:17:27,988 --> 00:17:29,889
Wanna pick up where we left off
462
00:17:29,957 --> 00:17:32,025
After I log some time
with daddy warbucks?
463
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,927
No, amber.
464
00:17:33,994 --> 00:17:35,661
I thought about it.
465
00:17:35,729 --> 00:17:37,630
And what I want is for you
to tear up that check,
466
00:17:37,697 --> 00:17:39,331
And go dance with your stepdad.
467
00:17:39,399 --> 00:17:42,066
Are you trying to
get me to cut you in?
468
00:17:42,134 --> 00:17:43,468
You don't have leverage.
469
00:17:43,535 --> 00:17:46,370
If I walk over there and
tell him everything,
470
00:17:46,438 --> 00:17:47,604
Guess who he'll forgive.
471
00:17:47,672 --> 00:17:49,072
You.
472
00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:51,374
But I'd rather be the bad guy
than watch you siphon him.
473
00:17:51,442 --> 00:17:52,708
How about this?
474
00:17:52,776 --> 00:17:55,410
I walk away,
and if the check clears
475
00:17:55,477 --> 00:17:58,279
I won't make problems for you.
I'll stay gone.
476
00:17:58,346 --> 00:18:00,147
Come back whenever you want.
477
00:18:00,215 --> 00:18:02,882
But be good to him when you do,
because I'll be around.
478
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,684
And I'm his friend.
479
00:18:04,752 --> 00:18:07,720
And you can be his
stepdaughter...Or not.
480
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,625
Yeah. I'll take the 25 grand.
481
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:17,461
Over him, I'd take 25 cents.
482
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:19,396
Bye.
483
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,936
Oh, jeff.
484
00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:27,371
Have you seen amber? - Yeah.
485
00:18:27,438 --> 00:18:30,176
Listen, pierce,
I gotta tell you something.
486
00:18:30,244 --> 00:18:31,978
She's not coming, is she?
487
00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:34,079
I wrote her a pretty big
check this afternoon.
488
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,715
I had a feeling she might...
Take it and run.
489
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,848
You want me to
help you cancel it?
490
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:40,183
Oh, hell, she earned it.
491
00:18:40,251 --> 00:18:43,185
You're lucky, jeff.
It's not too late for you.
492
00:18:43,253 --> 00:18:46,687
Have a family, share your life.
493
00:18:46,755 --> 00:18:48,521
That and understanding computers
494
00:18:48,589 --> 00:18:52,090
Are two things you just
can't knock out at the end.
495
00:18:52,158 --> 00:18:54,091
Pierce.
496
00:18:54,159 --> 00:18:56,326
Who did you call last week
after you farted on vaughn?
497
00:18:56,393 --> 00:18:57,760
[laughing] you.
498
00:18:57,828 --> 00:19:00,528
And who did abed call after
that squirrel stole his hot dog?
499
00:19:00,596 --> 00:19:03,297
- Me.
- That's sharing your life.
500
00:19:03,365 --> 00:19:05,600
If you have friends,
you have family.
501
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,572
Jeffrey.
502
00:19:12,575 --> 00:19:15,043
Aw, come here, son.
503
00:19:22,218 --> 00:19:23,886
Are we hugging or dancing?
504
00:19:23,953 --> 00:19:26,022
You know, if the
roles were reversed,
505
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:28,759
I would've had sex with
your ex-stepdaughter.
506
00:19:28,827 --> 00:19:30,361
I did.
507
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:34,698
Chip off the old block.
508
00:19:34,766 --> 00:19:36,934
It was either that or deal
with your actual pain.
509
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:39,169
What pain?
510
00:19:39,237 --> 00:19:40,771
12:00.
511
00:19:40,838 --> 00:19:44,174
Oh, are you kidding me?
512
00:19:47,844 --> 00:19:49,779
[sniffles] - it's okay.
513
00:19:49,846 --> 00:19:51,847
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
514
00:19:51,915 --> 00:19:53,215
[whimpering]
515
00:19:53,283 --> 00:19:54,917
Let it out, let it out.
516
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:57,987
We always used to watch the
shows she wanted to watch.
517
00:19:58,055 --> 00:19:59,756
I hate glee.
518
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:02,124
I'm not crazy about glee either.
519
00:20:02,192 --> 00:20:04,260
[sobbing] I hate it.
520
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,329
I don't understand
the appeal at all.
521
00:20:09,754 --> 00:20:10,987
Why did we do this again?
522
00:20:11,055 --> 00:20:12,322
We thought it looked fun.
523
00:20:12,390 --> 00:20:13,890
Is your cell phone in your pocket?
524
00:20:13,958 --> 00:20:16,125
Yeah, but I can't reach it.
I can only move my right arm.
525
00:20:16,193 --> 00:20:17,760
Okay, there's money
already in there.
526
00:20:17,828 --> 00:20:19,429
Slide your arm through
that bottom slot,
527
00:20:19,496 --> 00:20:20,930
And press the buttons g-14.
528
00:20:20,997 --> 00:20:22,598
When the snack is selected,
the mechanical lever
529
00:20:22,666 --> 00:20:23,966
That's holding it will
be thrust forward,
530
00:20:24,034 --> 00:20:25,467
Thereby knocking your cell
phone out of your pocket
531
00:20:25,535 --> 00:20:26,668
And into the receptacle below,
532
00:20:26,736 --> 00:20:27,835
Where you can pick it
up and call for help.
533
00:20:27,903 --> 00:20:29,470
Here we go.
534
00:20:29,538 --> 00:20:31,238
[groaning]
535
00:20:31,306 --> 00:20:34,308
[whirring noise]
536
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:38,746
Troy?
537
00:20:38,814 --> 00:20:40,383
I think I hit g-13.
538
00:20:40,384 --> 00:20:43,384
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net