1
00:00:00,420 --> 00:00:01,820
I had to get up
so early for my bus,
2
00:00:01,888 --> 00:00:03,955
I caught the tail end of what
cinemax gets up to at night.
3
00:00:04,623 --> 00:00:05,923
Subscription canceled.
4
00:00:05,991 --> 00:00:07,325
I got that channel for
eddie murphy movies,
5
00:00:07,393 --> 00:00:08,559
Not stimulation.
6
00:00:08,627 --> 00:00:09,594
Wait, why are you taking the bus?
7
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:10,661
What happened to your minivan?
8
00:00:10,729 --> 00:00:11,896
My ex-husband needed it.
9
00:00:11,964 --> 00:00:14,399
The person he's dating
works at a club.
10
00:00:14,466 --> 00:00:15,900
An hour from the city.
11
00:00:15,968 --> 00:00:17,468
Ah, well, I'll play
a violin for them,
12
00:00:17,536 --> 00:00:19,170
And maybe she can strip to it.
13
00:00:19,238 --> 00:00:21,205
Kind people are
always kind, britta,
14
00:00:21,273 --> 00:00:22,407
Not just when it's easy.
15
00:00:22,474 --> 00:00:26,010
As we stand once
again upon the deadline
16
00:00:26,078 --> 00:00:27,912
To drop or add classes,
17
00:00:27,980 --> 00:00:31,182
I hereby present this
semester's jeff winger pick
18
00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:33,418
For ultimate blow-off class:
19
00:00:33,485 --> 00:00:35,153
Beginner pottery.
20
00:00:35,220 --> 00:00:36,888
- I don't know-
- your last "blow-off" class
21
00:00:36,955 --> 00:00:38,489
Ended up teaching me
to live in the moment,
22
00:00:38,557 --> 00:00:40,892
Which I will always
regret and never do again.
23
00:00:40,959 --> 00:00:43,061
This one's different.
I researched.
24
00:00:43,128 --> 00:00:44,729
You don't even have
to make a good pot.
25
00:00:44,797 --> 00:00:48,232
You get an art credit
for participation.
26
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,935
This class is like a
redhead that drinks scotch
27
00:00:51,003 --> 00:00:51,936
And loves die hard.
28
00:00:52,004 --> 00:00:53,938
I suggest you all get her number.
29
00:00:54,006 --> 00:00:55,940
Ahoy!
30
00:00:56,008 --> 00:00:57,942
Guess which class I signed up for.
31
00:00:58,010 --> 00:00:59,944
Singing with tennille?
[everyone chuckles]
32
00:01:00,012 --> 00:01:01,412
Ha ha ha hee ha ha ho ho hey.
33
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,680
Sailing.
34
00:01:02,748 --> 00:01:04,816
But the nearest body of
water is 2 1/2 hours away.
35
00:01:04,883 --> 00:01:05,950
Leagues, abed.
36
00:01:06,018 --> 00:01:08,119
We don't measure water by hours.
37
00:01:08,187 --> 00:01:09,487
It's a one-week intensive
38
00:01:09,555 --> 00:01:10,955
That gives you hands-on experience
39
00:01:11,023 --> 00:01:12,657
On a real boat
40
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,725
Right here in the parking lot.
41
00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:16,327
I'd rather learn boats than pots.
42
00:01:16,395 --> 00:01:17,995
I was going to take a
class on how to put together
43
00:01:18,063 --> 00:01:19,163
An online dating profile,
44
00:01:19,231 --> 00:01:20,898
But I think sailing
in the parking lot
45
00:01:20,966 --> 00:01:21,899
Is less pathetic.
46
00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:23,568
A black person on a sailboat?
47
00:01:23,635 --> 00:01:25,803
I gotta see this. I'm in.
48
00:01:25,871 --> 00:01:27,738
How 'bout you,
abed? Wanna sail with us?
49
00:01:27,806 --> 00:01:29,107
There's black people.
50
00:01:29,174 --> 00:01:30,541
Mm-hmm, there's two.
51
00:01:33,946 --> 00:01:35,713
All right.
52
00:01:35,781 --> 00:01:37,882
Hello, ladies.
What are you guys making,
53
00:01:37,950 --> 00:01:39,650
Big balls here?
54
00:01:39,718 --> 00:01:42,086
Oh, yeah. You guys getting dirty?
55
00:01:42,154 --> 00:01:43,688
What are you looking at?
56
00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:44,989
Heh, all right.
57
00:01:45,057 --> 00:01:47,258
Hey, laura ingalls.
58
00:01:47,326 --> 00:01:48,559
Home depot guy.
59
00:01:48,627 --> 00:01:49,827
Who's making pots?
60
00:01:49,895 --> 00:01:51,095
Huh?
61
00:01:51,163 --> 00:01:52,630
Let's participate this thing.
62
00:01:52,698 --> 00:01:54,198
Let's do this.
63
00:01:54,266 --> 00:01:55,500
Ladies, I don't know
why you're laughing.
64
00:01:55,567 --> 00:01:58,503
I really do want to
make my mom an ashtray.
65
00:01:58,570 --> 00:02:00,404
[laughter]
66
00:02:02,908 --> 00:02:06,010
Hello, my precious blueberries.
67
00:02:06,078 --> 00:02:07,678
Hello.
68
00:02:07,746 --> 00:02:08,946
[giggles]
69
00:02:09,014 --> 00:02:11,516
All right, let's spin
those wheels and play.
70
00:02:11,583 --> 00:02:13,518
With some clay. [giggles]
71
00:02:13,585 --> 00:02:16,454
Now there's one, and only one,
rule in this class.
72
00:02:16,522 --> 00:02:18,523
I will tolerate no reenacting,
73
00:02:18,590 --> 00:02:20,258
Whether it's ironic or sincere,
74
00:02:20,325 --> 00:02:22,160
Of the patrick swayze, demi moore
75
00:02:22,227 --> 00:02:23,961
Pottery scene in ghost.
76
00:02:24,029 --> 00:02:26,731
Ever since that movie
was released in 1990,
77
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:30,801
I have seen every
conceivable variation
78
00:02:30,869 --> 00:02:33,471
Of what I call "ghosting."
79
00:02:33,539 --> 00:02:36,407
This could be guy-on-girl,
girl-on-guy...
80
00:02:36,475 --> 00:02:40,278
The hilarious guy-on-guy. [giggles]
81
00:02:40,345 --> 00:02:41,412
[all laugh]
82
00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,281
[makes explosive sound]
83
00:02:43,348 --> 00:02:46,250
So, since it never stopped,
84
00:02:46,318 --> 00:02:51,923
I had to adopt a zero ghost
tolerance policy.
85
00:02:51,990 --> 00:02:53,558
If you so much as hum three notes
86
00:02:53,625 --> 00:02:55,593
From that righteous brothers song,
with god is my witness,
87
00:02:55,661 --> 00:02:57,361
I will come at you.
88
00:02:57,429 --> 00:02:58,696
With everything I've got.
89
00:02:58,764 --> 00:02:59,897
[high-pitched] okay?
90
00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:01,365
Let's have a great time!
91
00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:02,600
[slams clay down]
92
00:03:02,668 --> 00:03:04,869
[classical music]
93
00:03:04,937 --> 00:03:06,237
I'm making falafel.
94
00:03:06,305 --> 00:03:07,471
[slurping] mmm.
95
00:03:07,539 --> 00:03:09,173
Not edible.
96
00:03:12,077 --> 00:03:13,711
What are you making?
97
00:03:13,779 --> 00:03:15,046
A vase.
98
00:03:17,015 --> 00:03:18,115
- Hey, guys.
- Yep?
99
00:03:18,183 --> 00:03:19,884
Look what I made.
100
00:03:19,952 --> 00:03:23,087
Participant badge.
101
00:03:23,155 --> 00:03:24,455
- [whimpers]
- oh, god.
102
00:03:24,523 --> 00:03:25,556
[overlapping chatter]
103
00:03:25,624 --> 00:03:26,691
Look at this.
104
00:03:26,758 --> 00:03:27,758
I don't know how.
105
00:03:27,826 --> 00:03:28,759
I mean, I just--
106
00:03:28,827 --> 00:03:30,061
I stuck my hands into the clay
107
00:03:30,128 --> 00:03:31,062
And it happened.
108
00:03:31,129 --> 00:03:33,264
You look at me.
109
00:03:33,332 --> 00:03:35,132
[whispers] you have a gift.
110
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,402
Jeff's competitive
side had come out before.
111
00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:40,204
He had even displayed envy.
112
00:03:40,272 --> 00:03:41,772
But on that first day of
pottery class, he discovered--
113
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:42,773
- Abed.
- Yeah.
114
00:03:42,841 --> 00:03:43,774
What did we discuss?
115
00:03:43,842 --> 00:03:45,977
No voiceover. Sorry.
116
00:03:46,044 --> 00:03:47,311
It is kind of a crutch.
117
00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:52,850
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
118
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:57,088
[metallic pounding]
119
00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:58,289
I've never been on a boat before.
120
00:03:58,357 --> 00:03:59,457
I didn't know what to wear.
121
00:03:59,524 --> 00:04:01,592
Yeah, it's intimidating.
122
00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:03,427
We're in pierce's world now.
123
00:04:03,495 --> 00:04:04,962
He's got all the boat clothes.
124
00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:06,163
Look at him christen.
125
00:04:06,231 --> 00:04:09,433
That were me, I would
have broken the bottle.
126
00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,335
I'm professor slaughter.
127
00:04:11,403 --> 00:04:15,439
Welcome aboard the s.
S. Nose candy,
128
00:04:15,507 --> 00:04:17,275
Recently purchased through
government auction.
129
00:04:17,342 --> 00:04:18,609
Oh, that's nice.
130
00:04:18,677 --> 00:04:20,144
- It's not nice-
- it's your only weapon
131
00:04:20,212 --> 00:04:21,712
Against the raging sea.
132
00:04:21,780 --> 00:04:23,180
You don't know how to use her,
you're dead.
133
00:04:23,248 --> 00:04:25,316
Together, you will
work as one crew.
134
00:04:25,384 --> 00:04:27,251
You will succeed or
fail as one crew.
135
00:04:27,319 --> 00:04:29,820
You will consider this
parking lot the ocean.
136
00:04:29,888 --> 00:04:31,522
Whatever you drop, you lose.
137
00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:33,791
Mishandle the sails-
you capsize and die.
138
00:04:33,859 --> 00:04:35,026
Oh.
139
00:04:35,093 --> 00:04:36,527
Now, does little
miss nice have a name?
140
00:04:36,595 --> 00:04:38,462
Sh-shirley bennett.
141
00:04:38,530 --> 00:04:40,231
Well, now you're
captain shirley bennett.
142
00:04:40,299 --> 00:04:41,332
Oh!
143
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:42,366
Aw, man!
144
00:04:42,434 --> 00:04:44,302
You will follow her every order.
145
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:45,369
Oh.
146
00:04:46,705 --> 00:04:48,406
I've never been a captain before.
147
00:04:48,473 --> 00:04:49,707
I have.
148
00:04:49,775 --> 00:04:52,376
I commanded a jet ski
through an electrical storm
149
00:04:52,444 --> 00:04:54,712
And only had one casualty.
150
00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:56,514
Jet skis only hold two people.
151
00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:58,549
Exactly. Saved half the crew.
152
00:04:58,617 --> 00:04:59,984
Pottery's much
cooler than I thought.
153
00:05:00,052 --> 00:05:01,485
And harder!
154
00:05:01,553 --> 00:05:03,254
Well, except for that guy rich.
155
00:05:03,322 --> 00:05:04,588
He's, like, a natural.
156
00:05:04,656 --> 00:05:06,090
Yeah, I'm worried
about the effect
157
00:05:06,158 --> 00:05:07,258
That it's having on jeff, though.
158
00:05:07,326 --> 00:05:08,526
- Mm.
- Heh, yeah.
159
00:05:08,593 --> 00:05:10,828
Someone call a shrink. What?
160
00:05:10,896 --> 00:05:12,363
Well, you're
usually the cool one.
161
00:05:12,431 --> 00:05:14,932
Abed... You understand the point
162
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,168
Of a blow-off class
is to blow it off,
163
00:05:17,235 --> 00:05:20,271
Not to be cool, making
really important mud pies.
164
00:05:20,339 --> 00:05:22,073
You're not willing
to admit he's talented?
165
00:05:22,140 --> 00:05:23,974
No, because he's not.
166
00:05:24,042 --> 00:05:26,177
I mean, if I were ever to
make an effort in that class,
167
00:05:26,244 --> 00:05:27,745
You'd think I was the
cat's pajamas too.
168
00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:30,915
Cat's pajamas? Okay, pierce.
169
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:33,517
Wow, somebody's mommy
170
00:05:33,585 --> 00:05:34,752
Gave him too much praise.
171
00:05:34,820 --> 00:05:37,288
Man, so did someone's
psyche teacher.
172
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:42,827
[gasps]
173
00:05:42,894 --> 00:05:44,195
Señor chang.
174
00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:47,698
Yes, I was robbed at the ymca.
175
00:05:47,766 --> 00:05:48,866
Again.
176
00:05:48,934 --> 00:05:51,836
[peaceful classical music]
177
00:05:51,903 --> 00:05:53,804
¶ ¶
178
00:05:53,872 --> 00:05:55,973
All right.
179
00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:58,175
Let's do this.
180
00:06:08,653 --> 00:06:11,155
Jeff, do you know what you are?
181
00:06:11,223 --> 00:06:12,890
You're special.
182
00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:14,992
You're very special, jeff.
183
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:18,763
You're the most special
little boy in the world.
184
00:06:22,701 --> 00:06:25,603
[ominous classical music]
185
00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:27,638
¶ ¶
186
00:06:27,706 --> 00:06:29,573
[blowing whistle]
187
00:06:29,641 --> 00:06:31,742
Take her back to harbor!
188
00:06:31,810 --> 00:06:34,578
Flank the sheets and,
uh, trim the head sail.
189
00:06:34,646 --> 00:06:37,615
- Aye-aye.
- Aye-aye.
190
00:06:37,682 --> 00:06:40,451
Eyes on me for a moment.
191
00:06:40,519 --> 00:06:41,652
I don't see students here.
192
00:06:41,720 --> 00:06:42,787
I see seamen.
193
00:06:42,854 --> 00:06:44,655
And I didn't create them.
194
00:06:44,723 --> 00:06:46,557
From the moment you climbed aboard,
195
00:06:46,625 --> 00:06:48,325
I saw seamen inside you.
196
00:06:48,393 --> 00:06:50,594
More importantly,
you've stopped giggling
197
00:06:50,662 --> 00:06:51,896
At the word "seamen."
198
00:06:51,963 --> 00:06:53,631
And that's the mark
of a real seaman.
199
00:06:53,698 --> 00:06:55,966
All right, as you were.
200
00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:57,034
Okay, then.
201
00:06:57,102 --> 00:06:59,336
Crew, make fast the topping lift.
202
00:06:59,404 --> 00:07:02,306
- I'll get the rope.
- Oh!
203
00:07:02,374 --> 00:07:04,842
- Oof!
- Oh, my god!
204
00:07:04,910 --> 00:07:06,277
Damn, he's ghost riding the jib.
205
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:08,112
- I--
- pierce, hang on!
206
00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:10,014
Agh! Ack.
207
00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:11,649
That hat's gone. Lost at sea.
208
00:07:11,716 --> 00:07:12,950
I might be able to reach it!
209
00:07:13,018 --> 00:07:15,019
It landed on that hyundai.
210
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:18,155
I mean, mermaid's car.
211
00:07:18,223 --> 00:07:19,990
Get back on this boat!
212
00:07:20,058 --> 00:07:21,292
- Ohh!
- No, no, no.
213
00:07:21,359 --> 00:07:22,993
Well, I spoke too soon.
214
00:07:23,061 --> 00:07:24,328
Everybody gets a "d."
215
00:07:24,396 --> 00:07:26,230
[all groan]
216
00:07:26,298 --> 00:07:27,965
If I'd have chosen to hit
you with a storm just then,
217
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:29,567
You all would have failed.
218
00:07:29,634 --> 00:07:30,734
You better get your
crew in line, captain.
219
00:07:30,802 --> 00:07:33,370
[grunting]
220
00:07:33,438 --> 00:07:35,739
Ahem. Permission to speak!
Mm-hmm.
221
00:07:35,807 --> 00:07:38,042
You really screwed the
pooch on that one, captain.
222
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,411
[grunting] and I can't swim.
223
00:07:41,813 --> 00:07:42,847
So you see, ladies,
224
00:07:42,914 --> 00:07:45,182
It's actually a working fountain.
225
00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:46,650
With a bird.
226
00:07:46,718 --> 00:07:47,651
[whistling like a bird]
227
00:07:47,719 --> 00:07:49,553
[all laugh]
228
00:07:49,621 --> 00:07:51,088
Hey, jeff, ready to make some art
229
00:07:51,156 --> 00:07:52,156
In the shape of a vase?
230
00:07:52,224 --> 00:07:53,991
No, I can't.
231
00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:56,093
Ooh, ouch. Let me take a look.
232
00:07:56,161 --> 00:07:57,194
Uh, come on, rich.
233
00:07:57,262 --> 00:07:58,295
Being good at beginner pottery
234
00:07:58,363 --> 00:07:59,897
Doesn't mean you can heal people.
235
00:07:59,965 --> 00:08:01,131
That's true.
236
00:08:01,199 --> 00:08:03,734
But my medical degree does.
I'm a doctor.
237
00:08:03,802 --> 00:08:04,735
A doctor?
238
00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:06,504
I just take pottery to unwind.
239
00:08:06,571 --> 00:08:08,105
Haven't lost a patient
in five years.
240
00:08:08,173 --> 00:08:09,673
Puts a lot of pressure on a person.
241
00:08:09,741 --> 00:08:12,676
So the good news is this is
neither sprained nor broken.
242
00:08:12,744 --> 00:08:14,478
Oh, thank god.
243
00:08:14,546 --> 00:08:15,713
But I'll have to get
a second opinion
244
00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:17,882
From a guy in my
basket weaving class.
245
00:08:17,949 --> 00:08:19,583
[laughs]
246
00:08:19,651 --> 00:08:21,418
That's great. That's funny.
247
00:08:21,486 --> 00:08:23,721
Good to see you
getting along with rich.
248
00:08:23,788 --> 00:08:25,956
What's he like?
249
00:08:26,024 --> 00:08:27,157
[whispering] he's a ringer.
250
00:08:27,225 --> 00:08:29,126
A what?
251
00:08:29,194 --> 00:08:30,494
You know, a conman. A grifter.
252
00:08:30,562 --> 00:08:32,162
A ringer.
253
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:34,431
He's an expert potter who
signs up for novice classes
254
00:08:34,499 --> 00:08:35,900
To impress people.
255
00:08:35,967 --> 00:08:37,034
But if he wants
to impress people,
256
00:08:37,102 --> 00:08:38,202
Why join a pottery class?
257
00:08:38,270 --> 00:08:40,170
Why not just say,
"hi, I'm a doctor."
258
00:08:40,238 --> 00:08:42,573
Because he's crazy.
259
00:08:42,641 --> 00:08:44,575
And fancy jobs don't
impress people.
260
00:08:44,643 --> 00:08:46,377
I mean, you weren't
impressed I'm a lawyer.
261
00:08:46,444 --> 00:08:47,878
Well, anyone could be a lawyer.
262
00:08:47,946 --> 00:08:49,280
You can even represent yourself.
263
00:08:49,347 --> 00:08:50,447
You can't do surgery on yourself.
264
00:08:50,515 --> 00:08:52,182
It's illegal. You'd get arrested.
265
00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:54,118
And then you'd get a free lawyer.
266
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,220
Rich just showed me how to
make a flared lip on my pot
267
00:08:56,288 --> 00:08:57,521
And check for breast lumps.
268
00:08:57,589 --> 00:08:58,556
[squeals]
269
00:08:58,623 --> 00:09:00,291
I don't know how
270
00:09:00,358 --> 00:09:01,492
And I don't know when,
271
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,761
But one day,
that guy is gonna slip up.
272
00:09:03,828 --> 00:09:04,828
And when that happens,
273
00:09:04,896 --> 00:09:06,463
I am gonna be there to expose him.
274
00:09:06,531 --> 00:09:07,598
Jeff, check it out.
275
00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:09,033
If your finger's still bugging you,
276
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:11,869
Just get creative.
277
00:09:11,937 --> 00:09:13,504
I wanna kiss you on the mouth.
278
00:09:13,572 --> 00:09:15,072
I'm sorry?
279
00:09:19,866 --> 00:09:22,468
[car alarm beeps] - hey, rich. Hey!
280
00:09:22,536 --> 00:09:23,736
Don't run so fast.
281
00:09:23,804 --> 00:09:24,904
You're among friends.
282
00:09:24,972 --> 00:09:26,305
How you doing, jeff? What's up?
283
00:09:26,373 --> 00:09:27,974
Oh, not much. Nada mucho.
284
00:09:28,041 --> 00:09:29,775
Noddily...Merchant.
285
00:09:29,843 --> 00:09:32,111
I just wanted to thank you,
doc pottery-wood,
286
00:09:32,179 --> 00:09:33,779
For taking a look at my finger.
287
00:09:33,847 --> 00:09:35,281
Anytime.
288
00:09:35,349 --> 00:09:37,750
Doc pottery-wood. I like it.
289
00:09:37,818 --> 00:09:39,652
Yeah. Have you taken
many pottery classes?
290
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:41,387
No, this is my first.
291
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:42,788
- Of the year?
- Ever.
292
00:09:42,856 --> 00:09:43,956
No pottery at doctor's school?
293
00:09:44,024 --> 00:09:45,224
- Medical school?
- Pottery school.
294
00:09:45,292 --> 00:09:47,560
- Pottery school?
- Oh, pottery school; how long?
295
00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,762
You know, jeff,
it's kind of weird.
296
00:09:49,830 --> 00:09:51,430
I feel like I'm being interrogated,
297
00:09:51,498 --> 00:09:52,765
But by someone who doesn't
really want to know
298
00:09:52,833 --> 00:09:54,166
Anything important.
299
00:09:54,234 --> 00:09:56,202
[both laughing]
300
00:09:56,269 --> 00:09:58,404
Oh, hey...New mexico.
301
00:09:58,472 --> 00:09:59,639
Long way from home.
302
00:09:59,706 --> 00:10:02,141
Yeah, well, I did my
residency in santa fe.
303
00:10:02,209 --> 00:10:03,142
Santa fe?
304
00:10:03,210 --> 00:10:05,411
Yeah. Can I give
you a lift somewhere?
305
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,346
Oh...No, thanks.
306
00:10:07,414 --> 00:10:08,648
I'm gettin' there.
307
00:10:08,715 --> 00:10:11,651
Well, of course, yes,
he'd be in college.
308
00:10:11,718 --> 00:10:13,686
[indistinct voices approaching]
309
00:10:13,754 --> 00:10:16,789
[mumbling indistinctly] - four? No!
310
00:10:16,857 --> 00:10:18,391
Did you sleep here?
311
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,259
Only for a few hours.
312
00:10:20,327 --> 00:10:22,762
Guess where rich is from.
313
00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:24,263
Couldn't have been crazy town.
314
00:10:24,331 --> 00:10:25,464
You'd have gone to
high school together.
315
00:10:25,532 --> 00:10:28,267
Santa fe, new mexico.
316
00:10:28,335 --> 00:10:29,702
Nobody gets out of santa fe
317
00:10:29,770 --> 00:10:30,870
Without learning how to make a pot.
318
00:10:30,937 --> 00:10:32,538
45% hispanic,
319
00:10:32,606 --> 00:10:34,707
Fifth highest native
american population.
320
00:10:34,775 --> 00:10:37,610
They eat and breathe clay there.
321
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:38,678
I think some of this research
322
00:10:38,745 --> 00:10:40,146
May have been done on wikipedia.
323
00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:41,514
You're mocking me?
324
00:10:41,581 --> 00:10:43,315
You? No, no.
325
00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:44,717
Fine, fine, fine.
Go ahead--mock me.
326
00:10:44,785 --> 00:10:46,619
Oh, jeff... You're goldbluming.
327
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:47,620
I'm goldbluming?
328
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:50,189
Heh, I, uh...
329
00:10:50,257 --> 00:10:52,058
I-I-I don't know what that means.
330
00:10:52,125 --> 00:10:54,827
Look, I have work to do,
before class,
331
00:10:54,895 --> 00:10:57,196
Because I want to catch
rich when he slips up.
332
00:10:57,264 --> 00:10:59,565
Who even cares if he's
pretending to be a beginner?
333
00:10:59,633 --> 00:11:01,367
Pottery cares.
334
00:11:01,435 --> 00:11:02,401
Integrity cares.
335
00:11:02,469 --> 00:11:03,536
Look, I don't care.
336
00:11:03,603 --> 00:11:06,305
I just care that he cares.
337
00:11:06,373 --> 00:11:07,506
It's lame that he cares.
338
00:11:07,574 --> 00:11:09,375
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My shoelace came untied.
339
00:11:09,443 --> 00:11:10,476
It could happen to anybody.
340
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:11,744
That's your excuse?
341
00:11:11,812 --> 00:11:13,145
Britta weighs five pounds,
troy can't swim,
342
00:11:13,213 --> 00:11:14,346
And I've never even seen the ocean.
343
00:11:14,414 --> 00:11:16,816
Uh, I can swim, racist.
344
00:11:16,883 --> 00:11:17,883
You listen to me, pierce.
345
00:11:17,951 --> 00:11:19,385
On my boat, the crew comes first.
346
00:11:19,453 --> 00:11:20,586
No single person is above it.
347
00:11:20,654 --> 00:11:22,221
You either shape up
or ship the hell out.
348
00:11:22,289 --> 00:11:23,422
[scoffs]
349
00:11:23,490 --> 00:11:25,725
Now I know what the "c"
in "captain" stands for.
350
00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:27,326
- [gasps]
- crabapple.
351
00:11:27,394 --> 00:11:29,161
Shirley, I thought you said
352
00:11:29,229 --> 00:11:30,896
That kind people were always kind.
353
00:11:30,964 --> 00:11:33,099
Yes, and strong people change.
354
00:11:33,166 --> 00:11:34,867
If the sea was always
still and calm,
355
00:11:34,935 --> 00:11:35,868
Nobody would respect her.
356
00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:36,936
I'm like the sea.
357
00:11:37,003 --> 00:11:38,404
- Hey!
- Hmm?
358
00:11:38,472 --> 00:11:39,872
Cuckoo birds, do you mind?
359
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,774
This is important.
360
00:11:41,842 --> 00:11:43,843
College is where most mental
health problems are activated.
361
00:11:43,910 --> 00:11:46,045
I hope I get
multiple personalities.
362
00:11:46,113 --> 00:11:48,581
I get lonely in long showers.
363
00:11:51,418 --> 00:11:54,120
Barometer's dropping.
Temperature's warm.
364
00:11:54,187 --> 00:11:57,423
We're heading into a
high pressure flow.
365
00:11:57,491 --> 00:12:00,426
That's a perfect storm.
366
00:12:00,494 --> 00:12:02,695
Reef the mainsail and furl the jib!
367
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:05,097
Is that nautical
talk or urban speak?
368
00:12:05,165 --> 00:12:06,766
We have to turn back.
369
00:12:06,833 --> 00:12:07,900
Accidental jibe!
370
00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:10,202
Hit the deck!
371
00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:11,704
Oof! [shouts]
372
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:13,439
- Ohh!
- Man overboard!
373
00:12:13,507 --> 00:12:15,374
Oh, my god, pierce is dead!
374
00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:16,942
No, wait. His stomach is moving.
375
00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:18,611
Oh, my god. Pierce!
376
00:12:18,678 --> 00:12:19,945
Gah!
377
00:12:20,013 --> 00:12:21,447
Ohh! That's it.
378
00:12:21,515 --> 00:12:22,581
Pull me in!
379
00:12:22,649 --> 00:12:24,617
The storm is
overtaking you, captain.
380
00:12:24,684 --> 00:12:26,152
We don't have time.
381
00:12:26,219 --> 00:12:27,419
I'm trying as hard as I can.
382
00:12:27,487 --> 00:12:28,654
I have skinny arms
for a quarterback.
383
00:12:28,722 --> 00:12:31,891
I said we don't have time.
384
00:12:34,361 --> 00:12:35,928
What? No.
385
00:12:35,996 --> 00:12:37,096
Wha--wait.
386
00:12:37,164 --> 00:12:39,298
Pull me in.
What do you mean "time"?
387
00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:41,200
I--that's it.
388
00:12:45,272 --> 00:12:46,705
Wha--
389
00:12:46,773 --> 00:12:49,275
No! Nooo!
390
00:12:49,342 --> 00:12:50,976
Bring the boom amidship.
391
00:12:52,212 --> 00:12:53,612
Nooo!
392
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:55,614
Nooo! [bell ringing]
393
00:12:55,682 --> 00:12:58,284
What in god's name have we done?
394
00:12:58,351 --> 00:13:00,085
[whimpering]
395
00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:02,521
[horn tooting] - hey,
hey, hey, hey!
396
00:13:02,589 --> 00:13:05,090
Get out of my parking spot,
dip-wad!
397
00:13:05,158 --> 00:13:06,959
Security!
398
00:13:07,027 --> 00:13:08,961
I mean, take an
intermediate class
399
00:13:09,029 --> 00:13:10,796
If you're intermediate.
400
00:13:10,864 --> 00:13:13,599
Don't come in here making
your fear of failure
401
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:14,967
Our problem.
402
00:13:15,035 --> 00:13:16,435
I mean, it's crazy.
403
00:13:16,503 --> 00:13:17,970
It's crazy.
404
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:19,371
I mean, he's a crazy person.
405
00:13:19,439 --> 00:13:21,207
[whispering] I'm scared.
406
00:13:21,274 --> 00:13:22,575
It's okay. This is good for him.
407
00:13:22,642 --> 00:13:24,176
He's confronting his
own limitations.
408
00:13:26,046 --> 00:13:28,013
Busted!
409
00:13:28,081 --> 00:13:29,982
Fatal mistake, richy boy.
410
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:32,418
You...Are...Busted.
411
00:13:32,485 --> 00:13:33,552
I am?
412
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:34,954
You just used
413
00:13:35,021 --> 00:13:36,889
The throwing off the hump method.
414
00:13:36,957 --> 00:13:39,491
That's an advanced
pottery technique,
415
00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,994
Which I know, because last night,
416
00:13:42,062 --> 00:13:45,331
I read the entire encyclopedia
of pottery.
417
00:13:45,398 --> 00:13:48,400
What are you talking about?
418
00:13:48,468 --> 00:13:50,436
You are no beginner...
419
00:13:50,503 --> 00:13:52,004
Santa fe.
420
00:13:52,072 --> 00:13:55,007
Hey, what is going on,
my blueberries?
421
00:13:55,075 --> 00:13:56,709
Show him what you did.
422
00:13:56,776 --> 00:13:58,777
- No.
- I rest my case.
423
00:13:58,845 --> 00:13:59,912
What case?
424
00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:03,515
Throw the freakin' hump,
imposter!
425
00:14:03,583 --> 00:14:04,650
Hey!
426
00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:06,018
- No! What are you--
- heeey!
427
00:14:06,086 --> 00:14:08,020
It's the hilarious guy-on-guy.
428
00:14:08,088 --> 00:14:11,357
One rule I asked
you to follow. One.
429
00:14:11,424 --> 00:14:12,858
Look! - [gasps]
430
00:14:12,926 --> 00:14:14,526
I had it made before he died.
431
00:14:14,594 --> 00:14:16,061
It's not in bad taste.
432
00:14:16,129 --> 00:14:17,529
Out, winger!
433
00:14:17,597 --> 00:14:18,864
Fine.
434
00:14:18,932 --> 00:14:21,333
That's fine. No, that's fine.
435
00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:22,768
[gasps]
436
00:14:22,836 --> 00:14:24,503
Congratulations.
437
00:14:24,571 --> 00:14:26,071
You failed a class so easy
438
00:14:26,139 --> 00:14:27,640
That people pass it in the hallway
439
00:14:27,707 --> 00:14:29,174
Get a contact credit!
440
00:14:29,242 --> 00:14:31,477
¶ oh ¶
441
00:14:31,544 --> 00:14:33,345
¶ my love ¶
442
00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:34,747
¶ my darlin' ¶
443
00:14:34,814 --> 00:14:36,248
You son of a--
444
00:14:36,316 --> 00:14:39,051
¶ I've hungered for your touch ¶
445
00:14:39,119 --> 00:14:41,020
No! Nooo!
446
00:14:41,087 --> 00:14:42,621
This is abuse!
447
00:14:42,689 --> 00:14:45,224
This is abuse! Stop it!
That is a satanic sound!
448
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:48,578
Pierce, do you
still have the number
449
00:14:49,146 --> 00:14:50,947
Of that private
investigator you used
450
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,882
When you thought ross perot
was sleeping with your mom?
451
00:14:52,950 --> 00:14:54,951
Is this about that guy
in your pottery class?
452
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,486
- Yeah.
- Face the facts, jeffrey.
453
00:14:56,553 --> 00:14:58,888
This kid's got some natural
talent you just don't have.
454
00:14:58,956 --> 00:14:59,956
How would you know?
455
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,124
It's all over the school.
456
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:04,560
Great.
457
00:15:04,628 --> 00:15:06,596
Why aren't you in sailing class?
458
00:15:06,664 --> 00:15:07,897
Uh, they drowned me.
459
00:15:07,965 --> 00:15:09,298
- Why?
- For a better grade.
460
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:12,969
Look, weren't we discussing
your flaws, jeff?
461
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,671
I mean, why are you letting
this guy get to you so much?
462
00:15:14,738 --> 00:15:16,639
What's really going on?
463
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,907
I made a bad pot.
464
00:15:20,778 --> 00:15:22,879
For some reason, I always
thought that I was special
465
00:15:22,946 --> 00:15:24,814
And different.
466
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:28,151
And I guess I just
have a really hard time
467
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:30,620
When I want to be
good at something,
468
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:31,654
And I suck.
469
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:35,258
Uh-huh.
470
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,393
Ohh. Here, give me a hand.
471
00:15:37,461 --> 00:15:38,995
Ohh. What are you doing?
472
00:15:39,063 --> 00:15:40,997
I'm going back to
my sailing class.
473
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,498
After they murdered you?
474
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,500
Jeffrey, when I was born,
475
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,636
I got my umbilical cord
wrapped around my neck,
476
00:15:46,704 --> 00:15:48,504
Both arms, and one of my ankles.
477
00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,273
Mom said that there came a point
478
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:51,641
When the doctors
stopped delivering me
479
00:15:51,709 --> 00:15:52,709
And just started laughing.
480
00:15:52,776 --> 00:15:54,010
[chuckles]
481
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:57,680
I mean, if I ever let being
bad at something stop me,
482
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,348
I wouldn't even be here.
483
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:01,851
That thing some men call failure,
484
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,020
I call living.
485
00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:05,788
Breakfast.
486
00:16:05,856 --> 00:16:09,292
And I'm not leaving till
I've cleaned out the buffet.
487
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:12,161
Now, how 'bout a shove?
488
00:16:12,229 --> 00:16:13,730
[grunts]
489
00:16:18,635 --> 00:16:19,635
Good luck, pierce.
490
00:16:19,703 --> 00:16:22,271
Don't need it. Never had it.
491
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,311
Britta, trim the boom flat.
492
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,913
Troy, sit windward
to heal the boat.
493
00:16:30,981 --> 00:16:33,516
My, the sea has
a worthy opponent.
494
00:16:33,584 --> 00:16:36,185
Oh, my god.
495
00:16:36,253 --> 00:16:37,553
It's pierce.
496
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:46,028
Man, that guy's
life is one, big joke.
497
00:16:46,096 --> 00:16:49,565
[grunting]
498
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:50,733
I mean, I feel bad for him,
499
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,335
But things have been
running smoother
500
00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:53,636
Since he drowned.
501
00:16:53,704 --> 00:16:55,104
I bet he gets that all the time.
502
00:16:55,172 --> 00:16:58,074
[grunting] son of a... Uhh.
503
00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,175
[snap]
504
00:16:59,243 --> 00:17:01,377
Oh! Oh! Hey!
505
00:17:01,445 --> 00:17:03,613
- Oh, my god.
- Hey! I'm going down!
506
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,748
Pierce is going to
be the only person ever
507
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,750
To drown in a parking lot.
508
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,385
Twice.
509
00:17:09,453 --> 00:17:11,521
[laughter]
510
00:17:11,588 --> 00:17:12,588
Help!
511
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:13,756
Damn the storm!
512
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:14,957
We're going after pierce.
513
00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:16,092
Jump the halyard.
514
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,426
Star-burns, you get down there
515
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,427
And you man the iron jenny.
516
00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:19,562
There's a man overboard!
517
00:17:19,630 --> 00:17:21,464
That's an order!
518
00:17:21,532 --> 00:17:22,765
I'm gonna sink!
519
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,734
I am about to get the only "a"
520
00:17:24,802 --> 00:17:26,102
I will ever get,
521
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,403
And pierce isn't even dying.
522
00:17:27,471 --> 00:17:30,072
- Bailing!
- You don't have to do this.
523
00:17:30,140 --> 00:17:31,207
I know.
524
00:17:31,275 --> 00:17:32,441
But I'd rather be kind
525
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,443
And get stepped on
every once in a while
526
00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:37,780
Than be a hard-ass and
turn my back on a friend.
527
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,582
Hoist the mains. - S.O.S.!
528
00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:41,751
Beep beep! Help!
529
00:17:41,819 --> 00:17:44,854
[whimpering] I don't
wanna go this way.
530
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:49,091
[adventurous music]
531
00:17:49,159 --> 00:17:51,427
We're coming, pierce!
532
00:17:51,495 --> 00:17:53,262
Help!
533
00:17:53,330 --> 00:17:55,131
How's it looking?
534
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,632
We gotta go faster!
535
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:58,067
Okay, come on, star-burns!
536
00:17:58,135 --> 00:17:59,735
It's filling with water!
537
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,180
It's going down!
538
00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:13,449
Pierce, we're coming!
539
00:18:13,517 --> 00:18:14,584
Dear god.
540
00:18:14,651 --> 00:18:16,185
Dear god.
541
00:18:21,024 --> 00:18:23,292
Oh, yeah. Oh, britta.
542
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:24,827
Troy. Ohh.
543
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:27,263
[whimpering]
544
00:18:27,331 --> 00:18:28,664
Here you go.
545
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:29,799
We got you. Here you go.
546
00:18:29,867 --> 00:18:30,800
Okay.
547
00:18:30,868 --> 00:18:32,835
[giggling]
548
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,171
You okay? - You all right?
549
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,106
You just steered
your boat into a storm.
550
00:18:37,174 --> 00:18:38,641
Any last words?
551
00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:42,144
The sea may be
cold and unforgiving,
552
00:18:42,212 --> 00:18:43,279
But I'm not.
553
00:18:43,347 --> 00:18:46,582
The ship might go down, but, uh...
554
00:18:46,650 --> 00:18:48,517
At least she'll go down with honor.
555
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:51,020
I'll take your captain's hat.
556
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,388
'cause I'm promoting
you to admiral.
557
00:18:52,456 --> 00:18:53,990
You all get an "a." - ohh!
558
00:18:54,057 --> 00:18:55,858
Admiral shirley. I like that.
559
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:56,993
Well, it means nothing, really.
560
00:18:57,060 --> 00:18:58,160
The class is over.
561
00:18:58,228 --> 00:18:59,328
But you deserve it.
562
00:18:59,396 --> 00:19:02,031
Hey, somebody has to to this.
563
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,299
I'm king of the wo--
564
00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:05,468
[whistle blowing]
565
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:07,236
Don't ruin a perfect week.
566
00:19:09,873 --> 00:19:12,875
I'm--I'm not gonna
spoon you again.
567
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:13,976
I appreciate that.
568
00:19:14,044 --> 00:19:15,211
Yeah, I can't...
569
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,779
Fully explain my behavior.
570
00:19:16,847 --> 00:19:18,080
I mean, I'd love to blame booze
571
00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:19,849
Or demon possession,
but-- - you know what?
572
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:20,850
Don't even worry about it.
573
00:19:20,918 --> 00:19:22,218
I'm bad at holding grudges.
574
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,786
Well, I'm bad at pottery.
575
00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:26,889
I'm an amateur pottery enthusiast
576
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,257
Trying as hard as I can
577
00:19:28,325 --> 00:19:30,059
At something I suck at.
578
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:31,160
It's great.
579
00:19:31,228 --> 00:19:32,695
And the teacher said I can stay,
580
00:19:32,763 --> 00:19:35,531
If I don't have any
more ghostbursts.
581
00:19:35,599 --> 00:19:36,532
Fantastic.
582
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:37,934
Well, good luck.
583
00:19:38,001 --> 00:19:40,603
Don't need it.
584
00:19:42,239 --> 00:19:45,374
Jeff, you're a normal person.
585
00:19:45,442 --> 00:19:47,910
There's nothing very
special about you at all.
586
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,880
You're going to be
great at a few things,
587
00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:53,082
But really crappy at many more.
588
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,518
And that takes a lot
of the pressure off,
589
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:58,387
So you can live a full, happy life.
590
00:19:58,455 --> 00:20:02,224
Oh, and sorry it took me
so long to tell you that.
591
00:20:02,292 --> 00:20:04,360
And it was only in
your imagination.
592
00:20:04,428 --> 00:20:05,494
My bad.
593
00:20:05,562 --> 00:20:07,096
Kind of a sloppy mom.
594
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,931
That's okay, mom.
595
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,433
Nobody's perfect.
596
00:20:11,768 --> 00:20:13,235
I'm still scared.
597
00:20:13,303 --> 00:20:16,072
A clay ashtray.
598
00:20:16,139 --> 00:20:17,239
You're an idiot.
599
00:20:17,307 --> 00:20:19,709
Why do you have time
to make pottery?
600
00:20:19,776 --> 00:20:23,779
Couldn't you use a little
more practice being a doctor?
601
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:26,949
Not that it'll ever bring
your brother back to life.
602
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:30,686
It was supposed to be you on
that roller coaster, richard.
603
00:20:30,754 --> 00:20:33,456
It was supposed to be you!
604
00:20:36,244 --> 00:20:37,178
Whoo!
605
00:20:37,245 --> 00:20:38,479
Ooh, ah.
606
00:20:38,547 --> 00:20:39,880
Ohh.
607
00:20:41,483 --> 00:20:43,450
Oh, come on!
608
00:20:43,518 --> 00:20:44,919
Again?
609
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:54,920
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
610
00:21:04,206 --> 00:21:08,108
Good grief.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net