1 00:00:02,834 --> 00:00:04,436 Oh, what are you guys doing together, 2 00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:05,958 Just the two of you? We're gonna raise money 3 00:00:05,959 --> 00:00:07,552 On the quad to help with the oil spill. 4 00:00:07,553 --> 00:00:10,481 We're making this display to show how serious the problem is. 5 00:00:10,482 --> 00:00:12,703 Oh, yeah. Each drop represents 6 00:00:12,704 --> 00:00:15,458 10,000 gallons of oil. 7 00:00:17,339 --> 00:00:18,851 Ooh! Oh... 8 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,843 I'm so glad this tragedy overshadowed haiti. 9 00:00:20,844 --> 00:00:22,011 I didn't have any ideas for that. 10 00:00:22,012 --> 00:00:23,819 Yay to having fun in pairs! 11 00:00:23,820 --> 00:00:25,445 What up, party people? 12 00:00:25,446 --> 00:00:26,956 Oh, you got a band-aid on your arm. 13 00:00:26,957 --> 00:00:28,144 You should be more careful shaving. 14 00:00:28,145 --> 00:00:30,739 I wax, dummy. This is from a blood test. 15 00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,382 Oh, no...I knew it. 16 00:00:32,383 --> 00:00:33,642 Things are going too well for you. 17 00:00:33,643 --> 00:00:35,560 Oh, no, no. Just a physical. 18 00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:37,558 Even a ferrari needs a tune-up. 19 00:00:38,015 --> 00:00:39,320 You guys moonshiners now? 20 00:00:39,321 --> 00:00:40,951 No, just the two of them. 21 00:00:40,952 --> 00:00:42,610 We're raising money for the oil spill. 22 00:00:42,611 --> 00:00:43,917 Did you even know there was one? 23 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:46,296 Uh, yeah, I have the aol home page bookmarked. 24 00:00:46,297 --> 00:00:47,786 Did you even know about the ostrich 25 00:00:47,787 --> 00:00:49,249 That raised the tiger cub? 26 00:00:51,681 --> 00:00:54,185 - Troy, what's wrong? - I just saw a dead body. 27 00:00:54,833 --> 00:00:56,771 I told you not to use the east stairwell. 28 00:00:56,772 --> 00:00:58,474 My pastor said it's meth season. 29 00:00:58,501 --> 00:01:00,400 You know I'm living with Pierce now, so... 30 00:01:00,830 --> 00:01:02,748 This morning I went to do laundry in the garage, 31 00:01:02,749 --> 00:01:05,214 And I found his mom... dead. 32 00:01:05,215 --> 00:01:07,832 - oh! - Troy, that's terrible! 33 00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:10,276 Well, she had been in bad shape for a while. 34 00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:13,340 So I guess she crawled out there to die like a cat. 35 00:01:15,115 --> 00:01:16,982 I've never been that close to a dead body before. 36 00:01:16,983 --> 00:01:18,577 - oh! - Oh, pumpkin! 37 00:01:19,573 --> 00:01:21,441 She was so cold and gray. 38 00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:23,748 I saw her underwear! 39 00:01:33,818 --> 00:01:35,986 Jeez... who died? 40 00:01:35,987 --> 00:01:39,021 Pierce, we're so sorry to hear about your mom. 41 00:01:39,022 --> 00:01:40,454 - why? - Losing a loved one 42 00:01:40,455 --> 00:01:41,991 Is always difficult. 43 00:01:41,992 --> 00:01:44,277 What? My mom isn't dead. 44 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,711 But when Troy found her, he said that... 45 00:01:45,712 --> 00:01:48,123 well, her heart, lungs, kidneys, and brain 46 00:01:48,124 --> 00:01:49,211 Stopped working. 47 00:01:49,212 --> 00:01:51,694 And another way of saying that would be... 48 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,343 she's used up her organic body. 49 00:01:53,344 --> 00:01:56,539 By...dying in it. 50 00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:59,232 Wrong. She's alive. 51 00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:02,236 Mom was a part of my buddhist church. 52 00:02:02,683 --> 00:02:05,020 She's a level five laser lotus, same as me. 53 00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,291 When a level five's body stops functioning, 54 00:02:07,292 --> 00:02:09,580 It's vaporized in the temple of renewal 55 00:02:09,581 --> 00:02:11,991 And stored in an energon pod. 56 00:02:11,992 --> 00:02:14,642 In a few years, when our technology advances, 57 00:02:14,643 --> 00:02:16,099 They'll extract her body vapors 58 00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:17,894 And recondense it to a solid state. 59 00:02:17,895 --> 00:02:18,959 And before you know it, 60 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:22,566 Mom'll be back in the kitchen making Troy and me sandwiches. 61 00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:24,662 Ha. 62 00:02:27,365 --> 00:02:29,769 Pumpkin! It's okay! 63 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:35,914 Did you guys hear about that turtle in china? 64 00:02:36,521 --> 00:02:38,125 Two packs a day. 65 00:02:39,144 --> 00:02:42,266 * give me some rope, time in a tree 66 00:02:42,267 --> 00:02:45,462 Give me the hope to run out of steam 67 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:48,860 Somebody said we could be here 68 00:02:48,921 --> 00:02:52,969 We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year 69 00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:57,112 I can't count the reasons I should stay 70 00:02:57,948 --> 00:03:02,472 One by one they all just fade away 71 00:03:02,893 --> 00:03:06,913 Sync by YYeTs.net 72 00:03:09,897 --> 00:03:11,615 look, if you guys just let me get to the can opener, 73 00:03:11,616 --> 00:03:12,664 I can feed you. 74 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:13,993 We have to do something about Pierce. 75 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,090 He really thinks his mom isn't dead. 76 00:03:16,261 --> 00:03:18,012 He's gone crazy. 77 00:03:18,189 --> 00:03:19,043 -...er? 78 00:03:19,044 --> 00:03:21,296 He won't even let us have a memorial service. 79 00:03:21,552 --> 00:03:23,149 I was halfway done with the collage. 80 00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:24,822 He hasn't cried yet, and from what I've been told, 81 00:03:24,823 --> 00:03:27,279 That's not normal. Who's normal, Abed? 82 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,299 Well, baptists are, but that's beside the point. 83 00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:31,635 Everybody has some sort of service for the departed... 84 00:03:31,636 --> 00:03:34,067 Eskimos, witch doctors, jewish people. 85 00:03:34,068 --> 00:03:35,346 Oh, cool. We made the list. 86 00:03:35,347 --> 00:03:38,034 The point being, death needs to be coped with, 87 00:03:38,035 --> 00:03:40,145 Not ignored, otherwise, why did mankind 88 00:03:40,146 --> 00:03:41,830 Concoct all these religions? 89 00:03:41,831 --> 00:03:44,863 - you wanna rephrase that? - Oh, I'm sorry... humankind. 90 00:03:44,864 --> 00:03:45,958 You think you're real smart, don't you? 91 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,329 Guys, guys, guys. Did we learn nothing 92 00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:49,566 From last christmas? 93 00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:51,873 I don't see much difference between Pierce's religion 94 00:03:51,874 --> 00:03:53,029 And anybody else's. 95 00:03:53,030 --> 00:03:54,027 Well, then you're not listening, 96 00:03:54,028 --> 00:03:55,582 Because his has lasers. 97 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:58,389 Look, you guys make fun of me for not caring about religion, 98 00:03:58,390 --> 00:04:00,782 But at least I'm dedicated enough to not caring 99 00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:03,102 To let you have your own beliefs. 100 00:04:04,232 --> 00:04:05,604 Can't Pierce have his? 101 00:04:06,464 --> 00:04:07,926 Can't you be cool like me? 102 00:04:09,676 --> 00:04:10,497 Hello? 103 00:04:10,805 --> 00:04:12,915 He ends so many of his speeches that way. 104 00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:16,761 - morning, guys. - Morning, Pierce. 105 00:04:17,077 --> 00:04:18,968 How's mom? - terrific. 106 00:04:18,969 --> 00:04:21,109 Her body's being vaporized as we speak. 107 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:22,665 What does that feel like? 108 00:04:22,666 --> 00:04:24,170 They say it's the greatest feeling ever. 109 00:04:24,171 --> 00:04:27,375 Like the second when the fudge on your sunday is still hot 110 00:04:27,376 --> 00:04:30,380 Or when you're the first one to break in a new boob job. 111 00:04:30,381 --> 00:04:33,096 Also, you're free from the burden of your earthly body. 112 00:04:33,097 --> 00:04:34,155 It is a burden. 113 00:04:34,156 --> 00:04:37,155 Greetings, class! I am dr. Ian duncan. 114 00:04:37,156 --> 00:04:39,948 Now, I don't normally teach anthropology, 115 00:04:39,949 --> 00:04:43,283 But apparently professor bauer tried to strangle mr. Winger 116 00:04:43,389 --> 00:04:45,790 And has been put on administrative leave with pay. 117 00:04:45,791 --> 00:04:50,161 So...what is anthropology? 118 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,904 Seriously, does anyone know? 119 00:04:55,597 --> 00:04:58,573 - you, in the boobs. - It's the study of humanity. 120 00:04:58,678 --> 00:04:59,606 Wow! 121 00:05:00,259 --> 00:05:02,866 Wow. I thought psychology was a racket. 122 00:05:03,847 --> 00:05:05,246 Well, well. 123 00:05:06,309 --> 00:05:08,645 I heard there was a drunk limey 124 00:05:08,646 --> 00:05:09,864 Teachin' this class. 125 00:05:09,865 --> 00:05:11,892 I'm not actually drunk, and I can prove it. 126 00:05:11,893 --> 00:05:14,362 I blew beneath the legal limit just this morning. 127 00:05:14,363 --> 00:05:15,404 That's reassuring. 128 00:05:15,405 --> 00:05:17,369 Also, I would like everyone here to know 129 00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:20,149 That this man assaulted me last year. 130 00:05:20,150 --> 00:05:22,121 And I have a restraining order 131 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,983 So I can have him expelled if he comes within... 132 00:05:24,984 --> 00:05:26,562 25... 133 00:05:26,633 --> 00:05:27,675 feet. 134 00:05:28,467 --> 00:05:29,728 - Abed. - Yep. 135 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,756 Proceed, dr. Teeth. 136 00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:47,678 It is the single largest disaster in recorded history. 137 00:05:47,679 --> 00:05:51,204 It is worse than 50 exxon valdez spills! 138 00:05:51,205 --> 00:05:52,980 You don't have to yell at us. 139 00:05:52,982 --> 00:05:55,654 Nobody is on the other side of this issue. 140 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,216 And the pelicans are covered in oil. 141 00:05:59,217 --> 00:06:01,803 Everyone likes pelicans. They bring babies. 142 00:06:01,922 --> 00:06:04,140 - that's storks. - Oh, right. 143 00:06:04,153 --> 00:06:06,533 Well...we still like them! 144 00:06:07,432 --> 00:06:08,691 Yeah, we do. Um... 145 00:06:09,012 --> 00:06:10,244 I'm gonna give you... 146 00:06:10,827 --> 00:06:12,713 Another 20. - oh! 147 00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:14,947 Thank you so much! 148 00:06:18,188 --> 00:06:19,701 I'm here for my test results... 149 00:06:19,954 --> 00:06:21,674 If you haven't framed them yet. 150 00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:23,850 - Hi, gorgeous. - Jeff. 151 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,076 You have something very infectious. 152 00:06:26,383 --> 00:06:27,838 What? - charm! 153 00:06:28,848 --> 00:06:30,138 You got me, jackie. 154 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,163 Seriously, everything looks great. 155 00:06:32,164 --> 00:06:33,672 You're an incredible specimen. 156 00:06:33,673 --> 00:06:36,026 Even your moles look like little hearts. 157 00:06:36,207 --> 00:06:37,471 The only thing I would suggest... 158 00:06:37,472 --> 00:06:39,141 Go see a doctor and get a prescription 159 00:06:39,142 --> 00:06:41,043 For cholesterol medication. 160 00:06:42,950 --> 00:06:44,451 Your cholesterol's a little high. 161 00:06:44,452 --> 00:06:46,563 It's no big deal. Eat some egg whites. 162 00:06:46,564 --> 00:06:48,625 But I-I don't understand. 163 00:06:48,626 --> 00:06:51,382 Wait, did I accidentally tell you you have aids? 164 00:06:51,383 --> 00:06:52,504 'cause I've done that before. 165 00:06:52,505 --> 00:06:53,605 - it doesn't... I mean- - It doesn't... 166 00:06:53,606 --> 00:06:55,235 I treat my body like a temple! 167 00:06:55,236 --> 00:06:57,282 Well, I can't be the first person to tell you 168 00:06:57,283 --> 00:06:59,355 That the temple doesn't last forever. 169 00:06:59,407 --> 00:07:01,022 I mean, it's made of hamburger. 170 00:07:01,023 --> 00:07:03,291 This is a... this is a temple of doom. 171 00:07:03,430 --> 00:07:05,439 And you know what? Like the real temple of doom, 172 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,435 It represents the inconvenient fact 173 00:07:07,436 --> 00:07:08,720 That all good things... 174 00:07:08,721 --> 00:07:11,338 Be they people or movie franchises... 175 00:07:11,339 --> 00:07:14,446 Eventually collapse into sagging, sloppy, 176 00:07:14,447 --> 00:07:16,948 Rotten piles of hard to follow nonsense. 177 00:07:17,442 --> 00:07:18,651 I need to be alone. 178 00:07:21,217 --> 00:07:23,540 Uh...you can do that by leaving. 179 00:07:28,159 --> 00:07:29,539 Whoo. Okay. 180 00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:30,791 Let's get goin'! 181 00:07:30,976 --> 00:07:32,927 Those paps aren't gonna smear themselves. 182 00:07:33,862 --> 00:07:37,742 There is no god! 183 00:07:37,994 --> 00:07:40,367 Tell us how you really feel. Am I right? 184 00:07:48,662 --> 00:07:49,602 Morning, Jeff. 185 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:50,890 Did you get the results of your blood test? 186 00:07:50,891 --> 00:07:52,908 - I'm fine. - I figured. 187 00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,541 Thank you for wising us up yesterday. 188 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:57,867 We were being judgmental about Pierce's religion. 189 00:07:57,868 --> 00:07:59,032 But the fact is, jesus... 190 00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:01,131 the fact is, everyone's dying. 191 00:08:02,143 --> 00:08:03,452 And we all have these little notions 192 00:08:03,453 --> 00:08:04,581 That we're the exception, 193 00:08:04,582 --> 00:08:06,654 But we're as wrong as we are dead. 194 00:08:10,867 --> 00:08:11,995 That's nice. 195 00:08:15,089 --> 00:08:16,958 How's it going with the little side project 196 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:18,764 That just the two of you are doing? 197 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:21,863 It's great. I made $236, 198 00:08:21,864 --> 00:08:23,038 Plus Britta's makes... 199 00:08:23,039 --> 00:08:26,383 Well, all totaled, we're close to 250, right, Britta? 200 00:08:27,265 --> 00:08:29,084 Greendale cares about this issue. 201 00:08:29,085 --> 00:08:30,749 Yeah. I don't think that's it. 202 00:08:30,838 --> 00:08:32,597 - what do you mean? - Come on, annie. 203 00:08:32,598 --> 00:08:33,829 You know guys are giving you money 204 00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:36,529 Because of the whole sexy schoolgirl routine. 205 00:08:36,908 --> 00:08:38,848 - I have a routine? - Yeah. 206 00:08:38,849 --> 00:08:41,676 You know, the one where you use posture as an excuse 207 00:08:41,677 --> 00:08:42,903 To stick out your chest 208 00:08:42,904 --> 00:08:45,169 And you laugh at guys' unfunny jokes, 209 00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:46,298 Pretending not to know 210 00:08:46,299 --> 00:08:48,812 That they have a sock at home with your name on it. 211 00:08:49,603 --> 00:08:52,297 Um...that's me, 212 00:08:52,631 --> 00:08:54,576 And if a guy wants to make a puppet of me, 213 00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,124 That's hardly your concern. 214 00:08:56,125 --> 00:08:57,991 Well, I just may be an outsider here 215 00:08:57,992 --> 00:08:59,972 Because I was never called to participate, 216 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,962 But it seems to me that Britta's upset 217 00:09:01,963 --> 00:09:04,482 Because she's raising less money than you. 218 00:09:04,483 --> 00:09:05,669 Yeah, I'm raising less money 219 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:08,260 Because I'm not jump-starting date rapists. 220 00:09:09,973 --> 00:09:10,996 Bitter much? 221 00:09:10,997 --> 00:09:12,844 Say "Bitter much" Much? 222 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:16,558 Say say "Bitter much much" Much? 223 00:09:20,737 --> 00:09:23,145 It's not my fault. I used to wear a back brace. 224 00:09:23,292 --> 00:09:24,282 That's why. 225 00:09:25,868 --> 00:09:27,274 What's with the lava lamp? 226 00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:31,138 It's not a lava lamp. It's my mom. 227 00:09:31,139 --> 00:09:32,782 Ha ho ho! Snap! 228 00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:34,172 Wait...what? 229 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:36,778 The temple finished vaporizing her. 230 00:09:36,933 --> 00:09:38,813 This is mom's energon pod. 231 00:09:39,524 --> 00:09:41,411 And that's her vapor in those little bubbles. 232 00:09:41,412 --> 00:09:43,131 I'm sure that thing was free, right? 233 00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:45,240 Energon doesn't grow on trees, Jeff. 234 00:09:45,241 --> 00:09:48,275 It's harvested by super bees in a buddhist meteor crater. 235 00:09:48,276 --> 00:09:49,898 Which is at the foot of mount sky mall 236 00:09:49,899 --> 00:09:51,498 In the sharper image valley? 237 00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:53,850 Sorry, I overslept. 238 00:09:53,851 --> 00:09:56,630 The sidewalk is more comfortable than it looks. 239 00:09:56,631 --> 00:09:58,762 Drunk. Glug, glug, glug. 240 00:09:58,763 --> 00:10:01,252 Shut up. So where did we get to yesterday? 241 00:10:01,253 --> 00:10:02,661 You are drunk and stupid. 242 00:10:02,662 --> 00:10:05,067 Actually, ben, I do have a wee big of a headache, 243 00:10:05,068 --> 00:10:06,294 So if you could just... 244 00:10:11,735 --> 00:10:13,790 Isn't that interesting? 245 00:10:13,791 --> 00:10:15,491 I have a right to be here, sir. 246 00:10:15,513 --> 00:10:16,770 Oh, you do, you do, 247 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:20,384 And I do hope you have very good hearing. 248 00:10:22,234 --> 00:10:23,347 Bastard! 249 00:10:25,243 --> 00:10:27,480 So, where did we get to yesterday? 250 00:10:27,481 --> 00:10:29,176 We were talking about humanity, 251 00:10:29,177 --> 00:10:32,872 Which starts with birth and ends with death. 252 00:10:32,873 --> 00:10:33,734 True. 253 00:10:33,735 --> 00:10:36,409 All life ends in death, which we, as a species, 254 00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:39,547 Are cursed with knowing, resulting in... 255 00:10:40,929 --> 00:10:43,193 Something. 256 00:10:43,808 --> 00:10:46,638 Again, this is really not my field. 257 00:10:46,639 --> 00:10:48,479 Professor, what would you say 258 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,184 Might be the difference between 259 00:10:50,185 --> 00:10:52,826 A religion and...A cult? 260 00:10:52,827 --> 00:10:55,037 Why don't we open that question to the floor, 261 00:10:55,038 --> 00:10:56,081 Since I don't know 262 00:10:56,082 --> 00:10:58,051 And the book for this class is expensive? 263 00:10:58,052 --> 00:11:00,720 Well, I would say a cult might, for instance, 264 00:11:00,721 --> 00:11:03,228 Sell you a tube of jell-o 265 00:11:03,415 --> 00:11:06,196 And tell you your mother is in it. 266 00:11:06,197 --> 00:11:08,517 - Jeffrey! - I see... are we thinly veiling 267 00:11:08,518 --> 00:11:10,487 A personal conflict and passing it off as a lesson? 268 00:11:10,488 --> 00:11:12,127 'cause if so, please continue. 269 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,216 Reformed neo-buddhism is not a cult! 270 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:17,244 It is a new way of looking at the world, 271 00:11:17,245 --> 00:11:18,884 Emphasizing empowerment. 272 00:11:19,076 --> 00:11:21,255 - like a video game? - Yes, Troy. 273 00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:22,656 Very much like a video game. 274 00:11:22,738 --> 00:11:24,768 You gain levels, and at a certain point, 275 00:11:24,769 --> 00:11:27,310 You actually can eat a ghost. 276 00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:29,184 What? I wanna eat a ghost! 277 00:11:29,185 --> 00:11:31,525 No. No, do not let him pollute your brain 278 00:11:31,526 --> 00:11:32,635 With this crap, Troy. 279 00:11:32,636 --> 00:11:35,533 - it's okay to ask questions. - I have a question. 280 00:11:35,534 --> 00:11:37,739 You said your mother went from a solid to a vapor. 281 00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:39,674 Do people in your religion ever take liquid form, 282 00:11:39,675 --> 00:11:40,687 Like the creatures in the abyss 283 00:11:40,688 --> 00:11:41,837 Or children's tylenol? 284 00:11:42,379 --> 00:11:43,330 That's a good question. 285 00:11:43,331 --> 00:11:45,895 Actually, when buddha returns, 286 00:11:45,896 --> 00:11:47,400 We all take liquid form 287 00:11:47,401 --> 00:11:50,913 And merge into a shimmering ocean of knowledge. 288 00:11:51,342 --> 00:11:54,473 Which, according to scripture, tastes like hawaiian punch. 289 00:11:54,474 --> 00:11:56,691 I do like hawaiian punch. 290 00:11:56,692 --> 00:11:57,705 Hey, if you're really curious, 291 00:11:57,706 --> 00:11:59,861 Come to my church's open hive tomorrow. 292 00:11:59,862 --> 00:12:02,981 You know, wine, beer, free credit checks. 293 00:12:02,982 --> 00:12:04,571 How much wine and beer per person? 294 00:12:04,572 --> 00:12:06,581 - oh, come on! - We're having a con... what? 295 00:12:06,582 --> 00:12:09,099 Excuse me. Is this anesthesiology? 296 00:12:09,970 --> 00:12:11,742 Yes. Yes, it is. 297 00:12:11,743 --> 00:12:12,912 Just go with this. 298 00:12:13,038 --> 00:12:15,643 It's really sad. Anything helps. 299 00:12:15,644 --> 00:12:17,640 So just anything you could give would be... 300 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:24,150 hey! 301 00:12:24,151 --> 00:12:27,138 I like need you to save the pelicans. 302 00:12:27,139 --> 00:12:29,590 They're all feathery and pelicany. 303 00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:31,478 I wuv them. 304 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:34,679 Thank you! 305 00:12:36,628 --> 00:12:39,381 Wow. It really is easy to raise money 306 00:12:39,382 --> 00:12:40,942 When you sell out your gender. 307 00:12:42,112 --> 00:12:43,409 I'm sure it's even easier 308 00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,263 When you're not standing next to this. 309 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,593 Hey, jerk! You're stupid! 310 00:12:47,594 --> 00:12:49,230 Gimme money. I know more than you. 311 00:12:49,231 --> 00:12:51,200 Oh, I don't know anything. 312 00:12:51,201 --> 00:12:52,856 I need boys. 313 00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:55,311 Saving the planet makes my back hurt. 314 00:12:55,312 --> 00:12:57,354 Oh, I obviously don't need guys for anything. 315 00:12:57,355 --> 00:13:00,041 That's why I wear stripper boots during the day 316 00:13:00,042 --> 00:13:02,181 And eat only celery and mustard for lunch! 317 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:05,154 - oh, I never stop smiling. - I never start! 318 00:13:05,155 --> 00:13:07,090 My sweaters keep shrinking! 319 00:13:07,091 --> 00:13:10,872 I get up an hour early to ever-so-slightly curl my hair. 320 00:13:16,341 --> 00:13:18,449 Yeah, you're both so different. 321 00:13:18,450 --> 00:13:19,740 Skinny bitches. 322 00:13:19,761 --> 00:13:21,680 Hello, billionaire boys club. 323 00:13:22,639 --> 00:13:24,584 Mind if I ask what happened in class today? 324 00:13:24,585 --> 00:13:27,283 You pulled 40 minutes of anesthesiology out of your ass. 325 00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:28,452 Yeah, I did. 326 00:13:28,735 --> 00:13:31,172 But, uh, I meant your elderly friend. 327 00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:35,828 Do you know how many times I haven't eaten a donut? 328 00:13:35,829 --> 00:13:37,567 - I do not. - How much I got teased 329 00:13:37,568 --> 00:13:40,134 In grade school for dabbing my pizza with napkins? 330 00:13:40,699 --> 00:13:41,723 I've suffered. 331 00:13:42,127 --> 00:13:43,828 I've denied myself. - mm-hmm. 332 00:13:43,829 --> 00:13:46,064 Because the rules said if I did that, 333 00:13:46,065 --> 00:13:47,543 I would live longer. 334 00:13:47,544 --> 00:13:49,562 But then, halfway through the game, 335 00:13:49,728 --> 00:13:53,090 I get this little update that it doesn't matter what I do. 336 00:13:53,156 --> 00:13:54,765 I could eat powdered bran every day 337 00:13:54,766 --> 00:13:56,239 While you suck down figgy pudding, 338 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,267 And I still might die first. 339 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,692 It's unfair! I want my donuts back. 340 00:14:01,836 --> 00:14:05,350 Well, I think you're being a little childish, and... 341 00:14:06,389 --> 00:14:08,133 Hold on a sec. I need to use my force field 342 00:14:08,134 --> 00:14:09,744 To prevent chang from getting food. 343 00:14:39,940 --> 00:14:42,339 Where were we? Look... 344 00:14:42,379 --> 00:14:45,158 The way I see it, while claiming to have no religion, 345 00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:47,897 You were actually devoutly worshipping yourself. 346 00:14:47,898 --> 00:14:50,499 And now that your god has high cholesterol, 347 00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:53,185 You're trying to kick Pierce's in the balls. 348 00:14:55,950 --> 00:14:56,909 You're right. 349 00:14:57,005 --> 00:15:00,323 All I've been trying to do is crush Pierce's faith 350 00:15:00,324 --> 00:15:01,938 To feel better about dying. 351 00:15:01,939 --> 00:15:02,866 And... 352 00:15:02,928 --> 00:15:04,886 and now that I realize that that was my goal... 353 00:15:04,887 --> 00:15:05,756 mm-hmm? 354 00:15:06,263 --> 00:15:08,567 I can really roll up my sleeves 355 00:15:08,568 --> 00:15:09,530 And get it done. 356 00:15:09,531 --> 00:15:10,809 - there it is. - Thank you! 357 00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:11,794 You're welcome. 358 00:15:12,323 --> 00:15:15,495 No, that wasn't what I- actually, I don't care. 359 00:15:18,199 --> 00:15:19,983 He girls, guess who found buddha. 360 00:15:19,984 --> 00:15:21,011 - hey. - Hi. 361 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:24,047 We're on our way to Pierce's buddhist open hive. 362 00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:26,082 But first I'm taking these fellows for ice cream 363 00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:28,792 As an apology for questioning Pierce's faith. 364 00:15:28,837 --> 00:15:31,531 Pierce says there's this 69th flavor I need to try. 365 00:15:31,532 --> 00:15:32,818 I am excited. 366 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,495 Hey, guys, my car's over there. 367 00:15:34,739 --> 00:15:35,539 Cool. 368 00:15:36,404 --> 00:15:37,284 Guess what. 369 00:15:37,766 --> 00:15:39,504 I'm not actually taking them for ice cream. 370 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,648 I am taking them to the county morgue 371 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,870 Where I have confirmed that Pierce's mother's 372 00:15:43,871 --> 00:15:45,698 Very un-vaporized corpse 373 00:15:45,699 --> 00:15:48,079 Will be lying on a stainless steel slab 374 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:49,233 For all to see. 375 00:15:49,234 --> 00:15:51,804 Surprise! Welcome to reality. 376 00:15:51,805 --> 00:15:53,048 Welcome to death. 377 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,482 - have fun. - Good luck. 378 00:15:54,925 --> 00:15:55,904 Wow. 379 00:15:56,181 --> 00:15:57,760 You guys are real downers. 380 00:15:57,795 --> 00:15:59,414 I can't believe I made out with both of you. 381 00:15:59,932 --> 00:16:00,838 Ugh. 382 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,421 I'll check the basket. 383 00:16:04,142 --> 00:16:05,245 Sorry. 384 00:16:05,246 --> 00:16:07,029 I almost arched my back a little. 385 00:16:07,030 --> 00:16:08,346 I know you hate that. 386 00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:10,980 No, I should count it. Since I'm a calculating bitch. 387 00:16:10,981 --> 00:16:12,536 No, I should, since I'm the one 388 00:16:12,537 --> 00:16:14,219 Who's whoring out our gender! 389 00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:15,978 Give that back to me. I'm gonna count it! 390 00:16:15,979 --> 00:16:17,758 Let go! - gimme that! 391 00:16:25,633 --> 00:16:27,190 Oh, yeah? Think this is funny? 392 00:16:27,191 --> 00:16:29,194 You think it's funny? Get off of me! 393 00:16:29,195 --> 00:16:31,696 You little brat! - oh! 394 00:16:33,831 --> 00:16:34,863 I hate you! 395 00:16:35,581 --> 00:16:38,208 Now, this is why I came to america. 396 00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,276 Maybe we should listen to some music. 397 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:42,551 No problem. 398 00:16:42,678 --> 00:16:44,661 I brought the jam book from the Pierce mobile. 399 00:16:44,662 --> 00:16:46,035 I could play some of the old stuff, 400 00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:47,575 But you guys would make fun of me. 401 00:16:48,613 --> 00:16:49,393 So... 402 00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:53,036 I'll throw ya...A bone and put in some loggins. 403 00:16:53,037 --> 00:16:54,740 This ice cream place is far. 404 00:16:54,804 --> 00:16:56,800 Trust me. It's worth it. 405 00:16:57,957 --> 00:16:59,030 What's this? 406 00:16:59,031 --> 00:17:00,535 This is mom's handwriting. 407 00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:03,001 Is that what you were doing in the garage, 408 00:17:03,002 --> 00:17:04,121 You silly goose? 409 00:17:04,122 --> 00:17:08,579 She spent her last moments alive making a cd? 410 00:17:09,204 --> 00:17:10,975 That's gangster! 411 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:14,282 Pierce, you found the CD, 412 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,697 Which means...i'm dead. 413 00:17:16,698 --> 00:17:17,424 Vaporized. 414 00:17:17,425 --> 00:17:20,903 I'm not vaporized. I'm gone, Pierce. 415 00:17:21,284 --> 00:17:23,057 Gone forever and... 416 00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:25,679 That's how I like it. 417 00:17:26,819 --> 00:17:30,781 Life is only worth a damn because it's short. 418 00:17:31,225 --> 00:17:34,685 It's designed to be consumed, used, 419 00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:38,146 spent, lived, felt. 420 00:17:38,147 --> 00:17:40,658 We're supposed to fill it with every mistake 421 00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:43,244 And miracle we can manage. 422 00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:46,489 And then we're supposed to let go. 423 00:17:46,759 --> 00:17:50,730 I can't force you to do that for yourself, Pierce. 424 00:17:51,077 --> 00:17:54,364 But you can't force me to stay. 425 00:17:54,653 --> 00:17:58,096 And if you unscrew the top of that stupid thing, 426 00:17:58,097 --> 00:18:00,628 You'll see it was made in china. 427 00:18:01,170 --> 00:18:02,401 I love you, son. 428 00:18:03,275 --> 00:18:04,410 Good-bye. 429 00:18:05,499 --> 00:18:07,489 I'll play myself out. 430 00:18:16,106 --> 00:18:17,095 Whew. 431 00:18:17,217 --> 00:18:18,596 Well, that proves one thing. 432 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,890 That woman was really losing her marbles 433 00:18:21,948 --> 00:18:23,100 Toward the end. 434 00:18:28,287 --> 00:18:31,475 You...seriously still think she's in there? 435 00:18:31,476 --> 00:18:32,569 Why wouldn't I? 436 00:18:36,336 --> 00:18:37,359 No reason. 437 00:18:41,489 --> 00:18:43,641 So...where's this ice cream place? 438 00:18:43,642 --> 00:18:45,806 - yeah. - Oh...um... 439 00:18:45,998 --> 00:18:48,267 You know, the... I think I... 440 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,986 Actually saw a better one back there. 441 00:18:49,987 --> 00:18:53,665 The place I was gonna take you was... kinda depressing. 442 00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:59,029 Oh, can we get a little more sawdust on that storm gutter? 443 00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:00,071 Thank you! 444 00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:04,419 I'm sorry... - I'm sorry too. 445 00:19:04,420 --> 00:19:06,110 I just got jealous of you. 446 00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:08,242 No, but you totally called me on what I was doing, 447 00:19:08,243 --> 00:19:10,475 And... I only kissed Jeff 448 00:19:10,476 --> 00:19:11,765 Because I wanted to see if I could do it 449 00:19:11,766 --> 00:19:13,983 Because I wanna be cool and sexy like you. 450 00:19:13,984 --> 00:19:15,464 I can't believe how gross I am. 451 00:19:15,465 --> 00:19:17,917 I only slept with Jeff because I hate myself, 452 00:19:17,918 --> 00:19:20,029 And that's why I got after you for raising money. 453 00:19:20,030 --> 00:19:21,513 I'm twice as gross. 454 00:19:21,514 --> 00:19:23,585 And you know the reason 455 00:19:23,586 --> 00:19:26,605 That we raised more money in five minutes of oil wrestling 456 00:19:26,606 --> 00:19:28,473 Than we did in two days of fundraising? 457 00:19:28,474 --> 00:19:30,586 Because... men are even grosser? 458 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:33,394 And when we forget that, they win. 459 00:19:37,598 --> 00:19:38,775 Yeah. All right. 460 00:19:38,776 --> 00:19:40,008 All right, all right. 461 00:19:40,671 --> 00:19:41,860 Yeah, do it. 462 00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,902 Oh, so you got actual ice cream. 463 00:19:43,903 --> 00:19:46,124 Yeah. With peanut butter and hot fudge. 464 00:19:46,404 --> 00:19:49,108 What the hell, right? Nobody lives forever. 465 00:19:49,707 --> 00:19:50,718 No offense. 466 00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:53,080 Nah, think what you want. It's a free country. 467 00:19:53,534 --> 00:19:55,376 I barely saw you this week, Abed. 468 00:19:55,377 --> 00:19:56,622 What have you been up to? 469 00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:58,843 - not much. - Hmm. 470 00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:00,801 What? 471 00:20:00,802 --> 00:20:02,773 Whoa! Busted! 25 feet! 472 00:20:02,774 --> 00:20:04,997 Which puts you in violation 473 00:20:04,998 --> 00:20:07,971 Of this restraining order I filed against you 474 00:20:07,972 --> 00:20:10,926 For abusing me with your restraining order! 475 00:20:13,371 --> 00:20:16,057 Mutually assured destruction. 476 00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:19,426 Well played, Chang. 477 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,441 Thank you. 478 00:20:20,606 --> 00:20:21,506 Uh... 479 00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:24,270 That means a lot. 480 00:20:24,271 --> 00:20:25,750 Do you mind getting a quick photo of me 481 00:20:25,751 --> 00:20:27,290 With the oily coeds? 482 00:20:27,307 --> 00:20:28,456 Center button. - okay. 483 00:20:28,457 --> 00:20:30,371 - you're the man. - Yeah, no problem. 484 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,610 Wha-whaaaat? 485 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,137 It was a mislead. 486 00:20:58,178 --> 00:21:00,026 That's the whole point of inception. 487 00:21:00,027 --> 00:21:01,752 Subversion of reality. 488 00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,219 He hasn't seen it yet! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net