1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:05,733 We was camping, and we was eating, 2 00:00:06,111 --> 00:00:09,185 and it was a mountain lion jump all the way down and eat my leg. 3 00:00:10,325 --> 00:00:13,685 I think a mountain lion jump down and eat someone's grammar. 4 00:00:13,686 --> 00:00:15,152 The auto-tune remix is way better. 5 00:00:15,153 --> 00:00:16,956 Go to related videos. - Uh-huh. 6 00:00:16,957 --> 00:00:21,849 We was... we was camping, camping, we was eeeeeeating, eating... 7 00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:24,345 - Professor? - Oh, Annie, please don't start. 8 00:00:24,346 --> 00:00:25,394 We've been through this. 9 00:00:25,395 --> 00:00:27,780 Anthropology is the study of humanity. 10 00:00:27,781 --> 00:00:29,107 Nothing is off topic. 11 00:00:29,282 --> 00:00:31,215 No, it's just, I've seen this one. 12 00:00:31,270 --> 00:00:33,879 Put in "car crash camel toe." 13 00:00:33,884 --> 00:00:38,839 Wait, wait, wait, wait. "Ski lift ninja crotch rip." 14 00:00:38,942 --> 00:00:41,323 Whoo! I'm a ski lift ninja! 15 00:00:41,324 --> 00:00:42,535 Oh! 16 00:00:46,553 --> 00:00:48,568 Look, Dolly Parton eating a hot dog. 17 00:00:48,668 --> 00:00:50,153 - Stop that! - Yeah. 18 00:00:50,514 --> 00:00:51,829 I can do what I want. 19 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,340 Uh, what happens if you type in "God"? 20 00:00:54,341 --> 00:00:55,634 Boo! 21 00:00:56,961 --> 00:00:58,546 No, no, no, no, no. Do not boo her. 22 00:00:58,547 --> 00:01:01,692 This subject's lack of definition cuts both ways. 23 00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:04,294 If farts are fair game, so is God. 24 00:01:04,918 --> 00:01:06,699 Top hit, "God of farts." 25 00:01:08,064 --> 00:01:10,082 - You ask for it... - It balances out. 26 00:01:12,046 --> 00:01:13,909 That's blasphemous. Who wants to see that? 27 00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:17,087 - 17 million people. - Oh. 28 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,919 There were nine people at my church last night. 29 00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:26,361 Auto-tune God of farts. - Yeah! 30 00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:28,418 Yeah!... way ahead of you. 31 00:02:06,907 --> 00:02:08,967 Abed, guess who's got two thumbs 32 00:02:08,968 --> 00:02:11,034 and has an exciting career opportunity for you? 33 00:02:11,754 --> 00:02:12,768 This guy. 34 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,383 I'm pointing my thumbs at God. 35 00:02:15,513 --> 00:02:17,193 I'm using one thumb to say that's great. 36 00:02:17,194 --> 00:02:19,014 Um, I told my pastor about YouTube 37 00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:20,456 and how there's no light there for the kids, 38 00:02:20,457 --> 00:02:21,809 and our church wants to sponsor 39 00:02:21,810 --> 00:02:23,916 the making of a viral video with a Christian message. 40 00:02:23,917 --> 00:02:26,010 Ha! What are you gonna do, "rapping Jesus"? 41 00:02:26,011 --> 00:02:27,119 Pierce, please just step aside 42 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,529 and make room for a new generation. 43 00:02:28,921 --> 00:02:31,789 Um, Abed, would you like to make a Christian YouTube? 44 00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:32,782 I know you're Muslim. 45 00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:33,935 As a Muslim, I'd be happy to do it. 46 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,254 As a filmmaker, no way. 47 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,630 I'm a storyteller, not a preacher. 48 00:02:36,631 --> 00:02:39,710 Well, the Bible has been called the greatest story ever told. 49 00:02:39,940 --> 00:02:41,918 Ben Lyons said the same thing about I am legend. 50 00:02:42,213 --> 00:02:45,008 Oh, well, I'll have to rent that, then. 51 00:02:45,946 --> 00:02:47,872 - Whoa. - What? 52 00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:49,849 That's a lot of pasta for no veggies. 53 00:02:49,850 --> 00:02:51,428 You're not in charge of what I eat. 54 00:02:51,429 --> 00:02:53,139 That's true. Britta! 55 00:02:57,426 --> 00:02:59,643 And some damn broccoli, please. 56 00:02:59,911 --> 00:03:01,837 Pierce has been acting out a lot lately. 57 00:03:01,838 --> 00:03:03,159 Maybe you should talk to him. 58 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:05,582 How is that my job? 59 00:03:06,016 --> 00:03:07,670 Aren't you, like, the dad? 60 00:03:07,671 --> 00:03:09,934 Would the dad walk away from this conversation? 61 00:03:10,355 --> 00:03:11,267 No? 62 00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:12,574 Ah! 63 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,080 You're having cookies for lunch? 64 00:03:18,081 --> 00:03:20,320 - Yeah. - Hey, you didn't pay for those. 65 00:03:20,363 --> 00:03:21,632 Call a cop. 66 00:03:24,457 --> 00:03:25,858 Heads up, gay wads. 67 00:03:25,859 --> 00:03:27,963 - Hey! - Cookies! 68 00:03:28,213 --> 00:03:30,124 *** 69 00:03:31,937 --> 00:03:33,498 What are you looking at? 70 00:03:33,942 --> 00:03:34,987 Your face. 71 00:03:34,988 --> 00:03:37,157 That's what you're supposed to look at. 72 00:03:37,709 --> 00:03:38,392 So? 73 00:03:38,393 --> 00:03:40,050 So? You gonna sit down or what? 74 00:03:40,051 --> 00:03:43,527 Oh, no, I usually sit with the younger people. 75 00:03:43,528 --> 00:03:46,020 Well, la de da de da. 76 00:03:46,021 --> 00:03:47,974 No, no, we watch videos on "youtune," 77 00:03:47,975 --> 00:03:50,446 and you guys probably don't even know what that is. 78 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:51,491 We don't care. 79 00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:52,613 Pierce, are you looking for us? 80 00:03:52,614 --> 00:03:54,416 We're sitting over there. I can see! 81 00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,929 Sheesh! Did you take your pills? 82 00:03:56,930 --> 00:03:59,227 - Ooh! - Mama's boy. 83 00:03:59,228 --> 00:04:01,718 We're having a private conversation here. 84 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:03,606 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Um, hi. 85 00:04:03,607 --> 00:04:06,244 I'm... I'm Britta, Pierce's... Pbbt! 86 00:04:07,495 --> 00:04:09,638 Very nice meeting you guys. 87 00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:14,377 "Very nice meeting you guys." 88 00:04:16,913 --> 00:04:18,041 She's a lesbian. 89 00:04:26,189 --> 00:04:27,300 - Shirley. - Hmm? 90 00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,789 - I read the new testament. - The whole thing? 91 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,159 You know, being raised by TV and movies, 92 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:32,872 I always thought that Jesus just walked on water 93 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,299 and told people not to have abortions, 94 00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,804 but it's so much cooler than that. 95 00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:38,800 He was like E.T., Edward Scissorhands, and Marty McFly combined. 96 00:04:39,652 --> 00:04:41,132 I would love to make a Jesus movie. 97 00:04:41,133 --> 00:04:43,165 Oh, Abed, that's wonderful! 98 00:04:43,171 --> 00:04:44,409 What do you think we should do? 99 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,094 It needs to be cool and addictive, 100 00:04:46,095 --> 00:04:48,385 like that video of the kitten falling asleep. 101 00:04:48,386 --> 00:04:49,301 Absolutely. 102 00:04:49,302 --> 00:04:50,347 But the story's been told to death, 103 00:04:50,348 --> 00:04:51,790 so I want to approach it in a new way. 104 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:54,465 We need a Jesus movie for the post post-modern world. 105 00:04:54,776 --> 00:04:57,830 Like Jesus as a rapper? 106 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:58,707 No. 107 00:04:59,564 --> 00:05:00,778 I want to tell the story of Jesus 108 00:05:00,779 --> 00:05:03,381 from the perspective of a filmmaker exploring the life of Jesus. 109 00:05:03,382 --> 00:05:06,332 That sounds very appealing to filmmakers. 110 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:08,491 See, in the filmmaker's film, Jesus is a filmmaker 111 00:05:08,492 --> 00:05:09,973 trying to find God with his camera. 112 00:05:09,974 --> 00:05:12,075 But then the filmmaker realizes that he's actually Jesus 113 00:05:12,076 --> 00:05:13,646 and he's being filmed by God's camera. 114 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,127 And it goes like that forever in both directions, 115 00:05:15,128 --> 00:05:15,987 like a mirror in a mirror, 116 00:05:15,988 --> 00:05:17,343 because all of the filmmakers are Jesus, 117 00:05:17,344 --> 00:05:20,698 and all their cameras are God, and the movie is called Abed. 118 00:05:21,970 --> 00:05:23,194 All caps. 119 00:05:23,195 --> 00:05:26,224 Filmmaking beyond film. A metafilm. 120 00:05:26,337 --> 00:05:27,666 My masterpiece. 121 00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:32,035 - But I don't like it. - Well, that's okay. 122 00:05:32,036 --> 00:05:34,022 You know, you're reacting the way the world did to Jesus. 123 00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:36,403 I'm reacting the way the world does 124 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,922 to movies about making movies about making movies. 125 00:05:38,923 --> 00:05:40,140 I mean, come on, Charlie Kaufman, 126 00:05:40,141 --> 00:05:42,013 some of us have work in the morning, damn. 127 00:05:42,022 --> 00:05:43,642 Does this mean you don't want to work on the movie? 128 00:05:44,217 --> 00:05:45,823 This means there is no movie. 129 00:05:52,263 --> 00:05:53,836 This is the movie. 130 00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,616 The game is Jacks and deuces wild. 131 00:05:57,617 --> 00:06:00,712 Except if the dean comes in, and then it's bingo. 132 00:06:03,678 --> 00:06:05,421 Keep it. I've got another one. 133 00:06:06,316 --> 00:06:10,327 If you get caught with that, just say it's your 90th birthday. 134 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:12,095 Suddenly, it's adorable. 135 00:06:13,251 --> 00:06:14,221 That's right. 136 00:06:14,225 --> 00:06:17,066 All right, now. What is this again? 137 00:06:17,783 --> 00:06:19,390 B-19. 138 00:06:19,391 --> 00:06:21,305 No. B-19, my butt. 139 00:06:21,306 --> 00:06:23,710 I told you guys no poker, all right? 140 00:06:23,711 --> 00:06:25,630 Shut this down! 141 00:06:25,631 --> 00:06:28,192 Shut your mouth down, fruit. 142 00:06:28,193 --> 00:06:31,228 Oh, hey, unacceptable, and none of your business, 143 00:06:31,229 --> 00:06:32,501 and barely the whole truth. 144 00:06:32,502 --> 00:06:34,929 All right, everyone go home. 145 00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:37,461 - Excuse me, mister? - What, Pierce? 146 00:06:38,130 --> 00:06:39,118 What year is it? 147 00:06:39,119 --> 00:06:40,016 What? 148 00:06:40,684 --> 00:06:42,656 Poker helps him remember. 149 00:06:43,714 --> 00:06:44,710 Veronica. 150 00:06:55,119 --> 00:06:56,970 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 151 00:06:56,980 --> 00:06:58,052 You are okay, kid. 152 00:06:58,053 --> 00:06:59,525 Go ahead and deal. Let's go. 153 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,932 Jesus, did you really die for our sins? That's dopey. 154 00:07:02,933 --> 00:07:04,539 Oh, uh, dope. 155 00:07:04,540 --> 00:07:08,338 Ooh, freudian slip, perhaps due to my feeling kind of dopey. 156 00:07:08,339 --> 00:07:09,749 Do the line, atheist. 157 00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:12,077 Jesus, did you really die for our sins? 158 00:07:12,078 --> 00:07:13,511 That's dope. 159 00:07:14,188 --> 00:07:15,559 You think that's dope? 160 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,051 Check out these... beatitudes. 161 00:07:25,965 --> 00:07:28,092 Blessed be the peacemakers, word to the meek, 162 00:07:28,093 --> 00:07:32,546 the kingdom of heaven is open all week, Jesus and me were... oh! 163 00:07:32,859 --> 00:07:34,425 I have arrived! 164 00:07:34,426 --> 00:07:37,224 I am watched, as I am watching. 165 00:07:37,685 --> 00:07:41,188 I am audience and creation. 166 00:07:43,150 --> 00:07:45,303 The earth shall know my power! 167 00:07:45,454 --> 00:07:47,193 Abed, what are you doing? 168 00:07:47,194 --> 00:07:49,615 Oh, great! You blew the take! 169 00:07:49,616 --> 00:07:51,890 No, no, keep rolling. 170 00:07:53,237 --> 00:07:54,763 This can all be part of it. 171 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,562 There are no takes. 172 00:07:57,759 --> 00:07:59,098 There is no viewer. 173 00:07:59,851 --> 00:08:01,294 The film is the story. 174 00:08:01,295 --> 00:08:02,795 The story is us. 175 00:08:03,318 --> 00:08:05,435 We are the film. 176 00:08:05,436 --> 00:08:06,666 It's totally meta. 177 00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:09,495 Well, let's get back to our non-meta production, shall we? 178 00:08:09,496 --> 00:08:11,624 Come on. - No, I want to watch this. 179 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,960 Troy, there's no time. 180 00:08:13,513 --> 00:08:15,855 Then, we quit. Right, Britta? 181 00:08:15,856 --> 00:08:18,987 I don't even believe in God, but I love me some Abed. 182 00:08:18,988 --> 00:08:20,003 Yeah. 183 00:08:21,121 --> 00:08:22,223 Wait, wait. 184 00:08:36,278 --> 00:08:39,091 "The story of the story is the story." 185 00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:41,342 Sure, that'll play in poughkeepsie. 186 00:08:41,483 --> 00:08:44,275 I heard some theaters are gonna show it in reverse. 187 00:08:44,276 --> 00:08:46,910 I heard it's the same movie backward and forward. 188 00:08:46,911 --> 00:08:49,195 I heard the deleted scenes are the scenes 189 00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,409 and the scenes are the deleted scenes. 190 00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:53,462 I heard Jesus died for our sins. 191 00:08:54,151 --> 00:08:55,198 Oh, hey, guys, 192 00:08:55,624 --> 00:08:58,175 the director's answering questions in the cafeteria, 193 00:08:58,176 --> 00:09:00,829 and it both is and isn't part of the movie! 194 00:09:00,830 --> 00:09:02,148 - Ah! - Get a table! 195 00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:08,267 Abed, are we all in the movie right now? 196 00:09:09,705 --> 00:09:12,905 We are all in a movie, even when there are no cameras. 197 00:09:13,876 --> 00:09:15,693 When will the movie be released? 198 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,751 When is life released? 199 00:09:18,807 --> 00:09:20,739 Every minute of our lives is a world premiere, 200 00:09:20,740 --> 00:09:22,603 and my father has already bought the popcorn. 201 00:09:22,608 --> 00:09:23,806 Whoa! 202 00:09:24,401 --> 00:09:27,898 Excuse me, Abed, but you aren't actually trying to say 203 00:09:27,899 --> 00:09:30,466 that you're Jesus, are you? 204 00:09:30,727 --> 00:09:32,761 I am who you say I am. 205 00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:35,084 Oh, man. 206 00:09:35,573 --> 00:09:39,056 Okay, yeah, ooh, it's meta now. 207 00:09:39,057 --> 00:09:40,460 Except here's the thing. 208 00:09:40,461 --> 00:09:42,708 I'm a devout Christian, and you guys 209 00:09:42,709 --> 00:09:45,651 are feeding into this poor boy's delusions. 210 00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:49,245 So cool! She's atual real life pharisee! 211 00:09:49,308 --> 00:09:51,828 Hey, bitch, why don't you go back to your temple? 212 00:09:51,829 --> 00:09:52,748 Yeah! 213 00:09:53,519 --> 00:09:56,088 Why don't you all stop confusing Jesus 214 00:09:56,089 --> 00:09:59,228 with an egotistical filmmaking lunatic? 215 00:10:02,124 --> 00:10:03,353 I forgive her. 216 00:10:20,144 --> 00:10:22,730 So, how's your film going, Abed? 217 00:10:22,731 --> 00:10:23,959 Blasphemously. 218 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,330 It's not blasphemy to say that we are God, Shirley. 219 00:10:27,149 --> 00:10:28,502 First Corinthians: 220 00:10:28,769 --> 00:10:32,991 "He who unites himself with the lord is one with him in spirit." 221 00:10:32,992 --> 00:10:34,839 Did you just scripture me, Muslim? 222 00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:36,307 Jesus was Jewish. 223 00:10:36,308 --> 00:10:38,003 Are you ever gonna let that go? 224 00:10:38,061 --> 00:10:40,302 Hey. No religious talk. 225 00:10:42,582 --> 00:10:43,808 Somebody's late. 226 00:10:44,350 --> 00:10:45,862 What is that in your pocket? 227 00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:48,716 Jeff, Britta, Pierce is smoking cigars. 228 00:10:50,580 --> 00:10:52,145 What's it to you, butt-breath? 229 00:10:52,669 --> 00:10:53,791 Look at your eyes. 230 00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:55,212 Have you been out all night with those hipsters? 231 00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:56,270 Hipsters? 232 00:10:56,271 --> 00:10:58,345 That pack of old people that hang out in the cafeteria. 233 00:10:58,346 --> 00:11:00,423 People call them hipsters 'cause they all have hip replacements. 234 00:11:00,424 --> 00:11:01,806 They do not. 235 00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:04,047 Leonard could probably kick your ass. 236 00:11:05,049 --> 00:11:06,004 Leonard? 237 00:11:06,629 --> 00:11:08,192 You're hanging out with Leonard? 238 00:11:08,574 --> 00:11:09,626 You know I hate him. 239 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,873 So? Everybody hates him. 240 00:11:11,874 --> 00:11:13,219 That's why he's cool. 241 00:11:14,188 --> 00:11:15,416 You people don't get it. 242 00:11:15,417 --> 00:11:17,670 Well, Pierce, I'm not sure that I want to get it, 243 00:11:17,671 --> 00:11:19,085 and I think you ought to take a break 244 00:11:19,086 --> 00:11:20,167 from these new friends of yours. 245 00:11:20,168 --> 00:11:21,719 They've got you all riled up. 246 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,174 That's what Leonard said you'd say. 247 00:11:23,175 --> 00:11:25,894 Well, Leonard is not a part of this study group, 248 00:11:25,895 --> 00:11:27,882 so you apologize right now to... 249 00:11:28,204 --> 00:11:29,410 what? Ah! 250 00:11:29,568 --> 00:11:30,758 I'm not your father! 251 00:11:30,759 --> 00:11:32,033 I never said you were! 252 00:11:32,336 --> 00:11:34,127 - Where are you going? - Out! 253 00:11:35,627 --> 00:11:37,772 When did Pierce become awesome? 254 00:11:37,773 --> 00:11:39,799 I am gonna shut you down, you know that? 255 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,529 - I do. - Oh! Oh, I get it! 256 00:11:41,530 --> 00:11:42,659 I'm supposed to shut you down. 257 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,990 Well, I'm not gonna do it. Don't. 258 00:11:43,991 --> 00:11:45,324 - I won't. - Good. 259 00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:46,387 I am gonna shut you down. 260 00:11:46,388 --> 00:11:47,287 Good. 261 00:11:52,981 --> 00:11:54,363 You should have seen his face. 262 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,309 He was terrified. 263 00:11:56,745 --> 00:11:59,106 You're his worst nightmare now. 264 00:11:59,107 --> 00:12:00,899 You're old and you don't give a damn. 265 00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:01,906 Booyah! 266 00:12:09,893 --> 00:12:11,937 Don't make eye contact, and we'll be fine. 267 00:12:14,188 --> 00:12:15,632 Mmm, here comes the boss! 268 00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:19,272 - The dean has got a date. - What a lovely couple. 269 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:21,022 Please, give us a break, will you? 270 00:12:21,023 --> 00:12:23,579 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh! 271 00:12:24,463 --> 00:12:26,599 I don't want to see you hipsters when I come back out here! 272 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,406 Go! Run, run. We made them angry. 273 00:12:28,407 --> 00:12:30,973 We've made them angry. Hey, he left his keys. 274 00:12:30,974 --> 00:12:33,137 Ooh, who's up for a joyride? 275 00:12:33,138 --> 00:12:35,410 - Hell yeah. - Oh, I don't know. 276 00:12:35,411 --> 00:12:37,353 We could get into some serious trouble here. 277 00:12:37,354 --> 00:12:38,303 Oh, come on. 278 00:12:38,304 --> 00:12:41,726 We get caught, we can just pretend we're disoriented, 279 00:12:41,727 --> 00:12:43,374 and he can give us a ride home. 280 00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:46,957 Where am I? What year is it? 281 00:12:48,956 --> 00:12:50,257 But we've all been drinking. 282 00:12:50,258 --> 00:12:52,463 Oh, grow a schmekel. 283 00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:56,797 Okay, everyone, this is the last scene. 284 00:12:56,893 --> 00:12:59,193 I want to thank you all for contributing in your small way 285 00:12:59,194 --> 00:13:01,588 to the greatest film ever made. 286 00:13:01,589 --> 00:13:04,996 And on the seventh day, Shirley shut down production. 287 00:13:04,997 --> 00:13:06,510 Abed, Shirley has informed me 288 00:13:06,511 --> 00:13:07,862 that you are using school equipment 289 00:13:07,863 --> 00:13:10,530 on school property to make a religious film. 290 00:13:10,531 --> 00:13:12,550 She has filed an official complaint, 291 00:13:12,551 --> 00:13:14,996 invoking the separation of church and state. 292 00:13:14,997 --> 00:13:16,963 I pointed out the irony to her already. 293 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,646 Don't give a crap. Let's be ironic. 294 00:13:18,647 --> 00:13:19,538 Shut it down. - Okay. 295 00:13:19,539 --> 00:13:22,485 Abed, are you making a religious film? 296 00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:24,662 All movies are religious to me. 297 00:13:24,902 --> 00:13:28,252 Nice. But is it a movie about Jesus? 298 00:13:28,253 --> 00:13:30,623 Is the matrix? Is Robocop? 299 00:13:30,791 --> 00:13:32,428 Is superman returns? 300 00:13:32,618 --> 00:13:35,258 All stories are about death and resurrection. 301 00:13:35,259 --> 00:13:37,332 I've got one. Wrath of Khan, hmm? 302 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,124 That's a good one. 303 00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:40,756 Spock sacrifices himself for the crew and gets reborn. 304 00:13:40,757 --> 00:13:43,504 How captivating was Ricardo Montalban in that? 305 00:13:43,505 --> 00:13:46,929 Except in Abed's film, the character's name isn't Spock! 306 00:13:47,239 --> 00:13:50,035 That's true. It's Abed. 307 00:13:50,036 --> 00:13:53,374 Oh. I'm getting creative goose bumps here. 308 00:13:53,386 --> 00:13:55,174 I love Charlie Kaufman. 309 00:13:55,175 --> 00:13:56,731 I need to run into editing for one second, 310 00:13:56,732 --> 00:13:58,046 but if you want, we can grab you a chair 311 00:13:58,047 --> 00:13:59,326 and you can watch a take. 312 00:14:00,380 --> 00:14:02,130 I would love that. 313 00:14:02,416 --> 00:14:03,953 I've never watched a take before. 314 00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:06,210 This is exciting. - Uh, you... 315 00:14:07,848 --> 00:14:11,498 say what you will about Abed, but the man cannot be killed. 316 00:14:13,451 --> 00:14:15,199 I mean, it's almost like he's Jesus. 317 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,572 I got it. 318 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:18,657 I don't think we should be driving. 319 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:21,877 I mean, we're all, you know, old and groggy. 320 00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:23,908 God, stop worrying. 321 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:26,253 Richard flew zeroes during the big one. 322 00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:28,194 What do you mean, "flew zeroes"? 323 00:14:28,195 --> 00:14:29,238 He's not Japanese. 324 00:14:29,239 --> 00:14:31,722 Well, what did you fly during the big one, rich? 325 00:14:32,141 --> 00:14:33,387 Where am I? 326 00:14:33,388 --> 00:14:34,942 Oh, come on. Stop farting around. 327 00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:37,254 Seriously, I don't know where I am. 328 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:39,228 What year is it? 329 00:14:41,016 --> 00:14:42,200 How do I drive? 330 00:14:59,362 --> 00:15:00,375 Let's bail. 331 00:15:00,793 --> 00:15:02,133 Wait a minute. What about Richard? 332 00:15:02,134 --> 00:15:04,567 Screw Richard! It's every man for himself! 333 00:15:13,169 --> 00:15:14,526 Richard, are you all right? 334 00:15:14,993 --> 00:15:18,009 Well, am I Richard? 335 00:15:18,432 --> 00:15:19,253 Yes. 336 00:15:19,254 --> 00:15:20,438 Then I'm fine. 337 00:15:20,513 --> 00:15:23,029 But who were those people that ran away? 338 00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:24,282 Our friends? 339 00:15:25,227 --> 00:15:26,495 That's a good question. 340 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:27,599 Oh. 341 00:15:29,399 --> 00:15:30,478 What is? 342 00:15:35,058 --> 00:15:37,826 There are no takes. There is no viewer. 343 00:15:38,781 --> 00:15:41,552 The film is the story. The story is us. 344 00:15:42,243 --> 00:15:44,295 We are the film. 345 00:15:46,093 --> 00:15:48,329 So, what do you think? 346 00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:50,890 I need to take a walk. 347 00:16:05,269 --> 00:16:08,362 Dear God, my movie is the worst piece of crap 348 00:16:08,363 --> 00:16:10,061 I have ever seen in my entire life. 349 00:16:11,465 --> 00:16:12,931 How could I have been so blind? 350 00:16:13,616 --> 00:16:15,296 It's a self-indulgent, adolescent mess. 351 00:16:15,297 --> 00:16:16,682 I can barely sit through it. 352 00:16:18,466 --> 00:16:19,363 And now, with all this hype, 353 00:16:19,364 --> 00:16:21,035 I've got a real snakes on a plane brewing. 354 00:16:22,506 --> 00:16:23,647 The critics are gonna crucify me. 355 00:16:23,648 --> 00:16:25,602 My career will be over before it begins. 356 00:16:26,859 --> 00:16:29,815 God, if you're out there, I know I don't deserve it, 357 00:16:29,816 --> 00:16:31,135 but I need your help. 358 00:16:31,197 --> 00:16:32,942 Please take this project away from me. 359 00:16:33,585 --> 00:16:36,061 Make it rain, send a meteor, 360 00:16:36,713 --> 00:16:39,038 anything. Please? 361 00:16:40,053 --> 00:16:41,222 Now? 362 00:16:45,828 --> 00:16:48,514 Okay, I get it. This is what I deserve. 363 00:16:50,581 --> 00:16:51,845 I'll finish it up. 364 00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:53,165 Hi, I'm Pierce Hawthorne's emergency contact. 365 00:17:53,166 --> 00:17:54,539 - You're here to pick him up? - No, no. 366 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,956 I'm here to be removed as his emergency contact. 367 00:17:57,171 --> 00:18:00,640 - One second. - Hey, I got a class! 368 00:18:01,533 --> 00:18:02,630 Where is everybody? 369 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,374 Is anyone coming to get Leonard? 370 00:18:05,027 --> 00:18:07,511 No. Nobody comes for him anymore. 371 00:18:07,745 --> 00:18:09,886 His kids asked us to stop calling them. 372 00:18:11,199 --> 00:18:12,787 Why do you think he acts like that? 373 00:18:18,173 --> 00:18:19,621 So we're in prison, right? 374 00:18:21,932 --> 00:18:23,080 All right, bring him out. 375 00:18:24,599 --> 00:18:26,830 Over here, Pierce. Come on. Book. 376 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:29,737 Hey. 377 00:18:29,738 --> 00:18:30,949 Go wait in the car. 378 00:18:31,586 --> 00:18:32,395 It wasn't my fault. 379 00:18:32,396 --> 00:18:34,945 Go. Wait. In. The. Car. 380 00:18:37,609 --> 00:18:38,596 Ooh!... 381 00:18:41,055 --> 00:18:42,514 you want me to change that or not? 382 00:18:42,515 --> 00:18:43,684 I guess not. 383 00:18:44,411 --> 00:18:45,935 Uh, but, um, could you do me a favor? 384 00:18:45,936 --> 00:18:48,810 Could you add Britta Perry as a contact? 385 00:18:48,822 --> 00:18:50,461 P-e-r-r-y. 386 00:18:50,683 --> 00:18:52,517 And would you give her a call a couple of times a week? 387 00:18:52,518 --> 00:18:54,079 She gets pretty worried about him. 388 00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:57,371 And, uh, she works days, so make sure you call at night. 389 00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:17,370 Everyone thinks what you did was destined to happen, 390 00:19:18,122 --> 00:19:20,176 that it was proof that God was making my movie, 391 00:19:20,269 --> 00:19:21,918 a movie so good, it could never exist. 392 00:19:22,284 --> 00:19:24,301 They think I'm a genius, and they think you're a villain. 393 00:19:27,987 --> 00:19:29,172 You heard me praying. 394 00:19:29,922 --> 00:19:31,388 I don't know what you mean. 395 00:19:32,618 --> 00:19:34,330 Oh, this is gonna be good! 396 00:19:34,331 --> 00:19:38,703 Abed sent me a new link, and that man knows his video virality. 397 00:19:38,704 --> 00:19:42,438 So you're just gonna drop all pretense of actually teaching us? 398 00:19:42,439 --> 00:19:44,091 Yeah. Here we go. 399 00:19:44,628 --> 00:19:47,352 Blessed be the peacemakers, word to the meek, 400 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,326 the kingdom of heaven is open all week. 401 00:19:50,327 --> 00:19:51,813 You finished my movie. 402 00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:53,521 I don't know what you mean. 403 00:19:59,037 --> 00:20:00,059 You humble me. 404 00:20:01,168 --> 00:20:02,616 You humble me too. 405 00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:14,729 Okay, open your books, because Abed has broken the Internet. 406 00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:23,930 Great. 407 00:20:23,993 --> 00:20:28,294 So which one of us is gonna head home and change? 408 00:20:31,614 --> 00:20:32,787 Hilarious. 409 00:20:32,788 --> 00:20:34,943 So you guys bought one of my outfits 410 00:20:34,944 --> 00:20:38,929 and then staked out my apartment every day until I wore it? 411 00:20:38,964 --> 00:20:40,457 That's not pathetic. 412 00:20:40,804 --> 00:20:41,702 Okay. 413 00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:43,257 Well. 414 00:20:43,774 --> 00:20:45,102 Good job. 415 00:20:45,425 --> 00:20:47,842 I guess I'm heading home to change now. 416 00:20:49,322 --> 00:20:51,418 Oh, I hit traffic. Did I miss it? 417 00:20:51,618 --> 00:21:01,818 Sync by YYeTs.net www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net