1
00:00:03,708 --> 00:00:05,730
Guys, what happened?
2
00:00:05,855 --> 00:00:08,476
Apparently they found him
unconscious on a park bench.
3
00:00:08,797 --> 00:00:10,754
My God.
Is he okay?
4
00:00:10,879 --> 00:00:12,644
We don't know.
We just got here.
5
00:00:12,892 --> 00:00:15,779
He's ready for visitors now.
He's in 1023.
6
00:00:20,414 --> 00:00:22,057
Welcome, my old friends.
7
00:00:22,825 --> 00:00:23,731
Welcome.
8
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:25,231
Pierce, what happened?
9
00:00:25,356 --> 00:00:27,360
- We were all so worried.
- It was the pills.
10
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:28,904
They just took me over.
11
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,758
I saw awful, horrible things,
12
00:00:31,883 --> 00:00:34,266
Demons, Aliens, Critters 3,
13
00:00:34,391 --> 00:00:36,410
something called
Bruce Willis Surrogates.
14
00:00:38,353 --> 00:00:41,326
- Abed, what are you guys doing?
- It's okay. Just act natural.
15
00:00:41,986 --> 00:00:44,919
Pierce asked me to document his life
for historical purposes.
16
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,846
At first, I said, "no," at the risk
of sounding overly sensitive,
17
00:00:47,971 --> 00:00:50,301
I feel intensely bored
by Pierce as a subject.
18
00:00:50,571 --> 00:00:53,441
But I'm excited about the narrative
facility of the documentary format.
19
00:00:53,566 --> 00:00:56,828
{\* It's easier to tell a complex story when you canjust cut
to people explaining things to the camera.}It's easier to tell a complex story
when you can cut the narrator.
20
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,267
I've called everyone here
so that I could put my house in order,
21
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,686
bequeath parting gifts,
22
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:05,822
say my final words to each of you.
23
00:01:05,947 --> 00:01:08,349
Final words?
You're gonna kill us?
24
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,214
No, dummy.
The pills wiped me out.
25
00:01:12,217 --> 00:01:13,155
I'm dying.
26
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,461
I'm not really dying.
27
00:01:17,818 --> 00:01:19,245
Over the last few weeks,
28
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:22,326
it's become apparent how little respect
this group has for me.
29
00:01:23,104 --> 00:01:26,631
So I've summoned them here
to exact my revenge.
30
00:01:27,258 --> 00:01:28,257
See?
31
00:01:28,382 --> 00:01:29,547
Fish in a barrel.
32
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,943
SAISON 2 – ÉPISODE 16
34
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:48,957
”INTERMEDIATE DOCUMENTARY FILMMAKING”
35
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,914
I'm so sad.
I don't know what to do.
36
00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,941
Usually, if I need to cheer up,
I just make fun of Pierce, but now...
37
00:02:02,527 --> 00:02:03,664
It'd make me sadder.
38
00:02:04,403 --> 00:02:07,543
- It's Gregory Hines all over again.
- Look, I'm sure he'll be fine.
39
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,528
You know how dramatic Pierce gets.
40
00:02:09,653 --> 00:02:11,918
Remember when he had the hiccups
and pulled the fire alarm?
41
00:02:12,043 --> 00:02:14,884
- Let's just try to relax.
- He's here because we relaxed.
42
00:02:15,052 --> 00:02:17,931
No, he's here because he relaxed,
a handful of pills at a time.
43
00:02:18,632 --> 00:02:20,059
That's all over now.
44
00:02:20,184 --> 00:02:22,613
We're here for him,
so there's no point in feeling bad.
45
00:02:22,937 --> 00:02:25,794
We know there's no point, Jeff.
We kind of just felt like feeling it.
46
00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:27,480
Yeah, Jeff.
What are you? Abed?
47
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,129
- Sorry, Abed.
- No problem. Doesn't bother me.
48
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,275
Mr. Hawthorne is ready to commence
his bequeathing's.
49
00:02:34,297 --> 00:02:36,340
Shouldn't you be telling that
to an orderly?
50
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,866
- He's gonna give us gifts.
- Cool!
51
00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:41,170
I mean...
52
00:02:42,483 --> 00:02:43,483
Cool.
53
00:02:43,716 --> 00:02:45,164
I don't want Pierce to die.
54
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,021
But if I'm gonna get
bequeathed upon,
55
00:02:48,146 --> 00:02:50,156
I'd like to be bequeathed a drum kit
56
00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:52,630
or a signed photo
of actor Levar Burton.
57
00:02:53,075 --> 00:02:54,654
Those would be my top two wishes.
58
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,302
My third wish would be
a million wishes.
59
00:02:58,085 --> 00:03:01,469
But I'd just use 'em all on a million
signed photos of actor Levar Burton.
60
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:04,263
Hello, Pierce.
61
00:03:05,617 --> 00:03:08,400
I got you some things from the gift shop
to cheer you up.
62
00:03:08,525 --> 00:03:10,379
I got you a John Grisham novel
63
00:03:10,504 --> 00:03:12,098
and a funny little coffee mug.
64
00:03:12,223 --> 00:03:14,746
You see how the flea's door mat
says "dog, sweet dog"?
65
00:03:14,871 --> 00:03:18,364
Shirley, we both know that you and I
are the most hated in the group.
66
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,365
We do?
67
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,511
And since, in my absence,
you'll be the new black sheep-
68
00:03:23,138 --> 00:03:24,792
I'm sorry.
That's offensive.
69
00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:25,913
Black swan.
70
00:03:26,507 --> 00:03:27,957
I want you to have this.
71
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,237
It's a compact record
and it contains
72
00:03:30,896 --> 00:03:33,087
an audio file of your study group
73
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,130
talking about you
while you're out of the room.
74
00:03:35,597 --> 00:03:39,093
It's all here, burnt into this diskette
by optical lasers.
75
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:42,137
- I don't believe you.
- I know it sounds like science fiction.
76
00:03:42,262 --> 00:03:43,774
I don't believe there's anything.
77
00:03:44,313 --> 00:03:46,229
Then I guess this is good-bye...
78
00:03:46,629 --> 00:03:47,476
Forever.
79
00:03:48,651 --> 00:03:50,132
Good-good-bye, Pierce.
80
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,236
Smell you later.
81
00:03:57,575 --> 00:04:00,364
He said it's a recording
of you all talking behind my back.
82
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:01,407
Ridiculous.
83
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,878
That's what I told him,
because you all don't do that.
84
00:04:04,003 --> 00:04:05,003
Right?
85
00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,335
Mr. Hawthorne
is requesting "sour face."
86
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,426
- Is that you, death?
- It's Britta.
87
00:04:21,455 --> 00:04:24,558
Before you speak, I want to tell you
that you don't have to give me anything.
88
00:04:24,683 --> 00:04:27,034
I am happy
to just spend time with you.
89
00:04:27,511 --> 00:04:30,060
- Like Dylan Thomas said about death.
- What did he say?
90
00:04:30,386 --> 00:04:31,792
Okay, bluff called.
91
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:34,231
You're the selfless one in the group,
right?
92
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,191
I haven't thought
about myself in years.
93
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,536
That's what makes you
the perfect recipient
94
00:04:38,661 --> 00:04:39,844
of this bequeathment.
95
00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:41,739
It's a check for $10,000
96
00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:43,400
with the payee line blank,
97
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,869
so that you can give it
to the charity of your choice.
98
00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:49,113
Pierce, this is...
99
00:04:50,574 --> 00:04:51,677
Surprising.
100
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:55,363
After what you gave Shirley,
we thought you were playing mind games.
101
00:04:55,488 --> 00:04:56,509
Thank you.
102
00:05:00,603 --> 00:05:02,843
If you are so inclined,
you could write your name in there.
103
00:05:07,343 --> 00:05:08,143
Toodles.
104
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,997
I don't want to die
in a place like this.
105
00:05:11,122 --> 00:05:13,395
People shouldn't die
in the same place people magazines do.
106
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:15,356
I hope to die
surrounded by my family.
107
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,505
The only way I agreed
to be surrounded by my family.
108
00:05:17,630 --> 00:05:19,832
Me and Abed have an agreement.
If one of us dies,
109
00:05:19,957 --> 00:05:22,780
we stage it look like a suicide caused
by the unjust cancellation of Firefly.
110
00:05:23,617 --> 00:05:25,833
We're gonna get that show
back on the air, buddy.
111
00:05:27,722 --> 00:05:28,954
How'd it go?
112
00:05:30,436 --> 00:05:31,182
Fine.
113
00:05:31,307 --> 00:05:34,598
He gave me a check for $10,000
to give to the charity of my choice.
114
00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:37,503
See? He's not messing with us.
Maybe he just hates Shirley.
115
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,420
What?
116
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,339
Maybe.
117
00:05:40,985 --> 00:05:42,675
I just need to research
a few charities,
118
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,717
because some take a lot off the top
119
00:05:44,842 --> 00:05:47,463
and you think you're giving money
to people that really need it,
120
00:05:47,588 --> 00:05:50,026
and you're really giving it
to some middle man who's gonna
121
00:05:50,263 --> 00:05:52,547
pay off their parking tickets,
credit cards,
122
00:05:52,672 --> 00:05:55,187
and keep from getting kicked out
of her place in...
123
00:05:56,071 --> 00:05:57,071
April.
124
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,275
He'd like to see Annie next.
125
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,987
You know what? No.
He'll see Jeff next.
126
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:05,017
- No, you're not supposed to go...
- Or what?
127
00:06:05,142 --> 00:06:07,574
You'll do twice as much work
as a doctor for half the pay?
128
00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:08,984
Thank you?
129
00:06:09,109 --> 00:06:11,671
It's called a complisult.
Part compliment, part insult.
130
00:06:11,796 --> 00:06:12,968
He invented them.
131
00:06:13,093 --> 00:06:14,330
I coined the term.
132
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:17,418
See what I just did there?
That was an explanabrag.
133
00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:19,795
Hello, Jeffrey.
134
00:06:24,056 --> 00:06:25,968
I've thought about this day
many times,
135
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,305
but I've always
imagined it differently.
136
00:06:28,539 --> 00:06:31,515
For starters, I thought you'd be
the one in bed and I'd be a hologram.
137
00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:33,434
What?
138
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:35,722
Never mind.
There's no time for that now.
139
00:06:40,448 --> 00:06:42,383
It's starting to seem,
from observing the others,
140
00:06:42,508 --> 00:06:45,788
that you're using the social leverage
afforded you by your alleged deathbed
141
00:06:45,913 --> 00:06:47,220
to exact complicated acts
142
00:06:47,345 --> 00:06:49,533
of psychological vengeance
on those closest to you.
143
00:06:49,701 --> 00:06:50,980
Vengeance?
Oh, no.
144
00:06:51,228 --> 00:06:53,315
I was never one to hold a grudge,
Jeffrey.
145
00:06:53,785 --> 00:06:55,298
My father held grudges.
146
00:06:55,423 --> 00:06:56,957
I'll always hate him for that.
147
00:06:57,358 --> 00:06:59,747
- Did you get along with your father?
- I got along without him.
148
00:06:59,872 --> 00:07:01,378
That's no good, Jeffrey.
149
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,160
You don't want your dad to die
before you tell him how you feel.
150
00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:06,617
I'm sure you're right.
Look, let's nip this in the bud.
151
00:07:07,666 --> 00:07:10,471
We're sorry we didn't respond
quickly enough to your pill addiction.
152
00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:14,016
Is there any chance
that apology is enough?
153
00:07:14,580 --> 00:07:16,769
Are you ready
to be bequeathed upon, Jeff?
154
00:07:18,982 --> 00:07:20,064
Blow my mind.
155
00:07:20,464 --> 00:07:21,565
I found your father.
156
00:07:23,230 --> 00:07:24,300
Did you now?
157
00:07:24,425 --> 00:07:27,765
William Winger,
born Oklahoma City, 1945.
158
00:07:28,149 --> 00:07:30,324
1974, married Doreen Fitzgerald.
159
00:07:30,492 --> 00:07:34,078
Divorced in 1983.
Most recently residing in Dorchester.
160
00:07:34,377 --> 00:07:35,374
Currently
161
00:07:35,499 --> 00:07:39,041
sitting in a town car
on its way to this very hospital.
162
00:07:39,439 --> 00:07:40,876
Should be here in an hour or so,
163
00:07:41,515 --> 00:07:42,996
give or take a father.
164
00:07:44,471 --> 00:07:45,255
That it?
165
00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,480
All right.
See you at the funeral.
166
00:07:51,453 --> 00:07:53,477
And so it is bequeathed.
167
00:08:04,592 --> 00:08:06,170
What are you gonna say to your dad?
168
00:08:06,295 --> 00:08:08,473
I'm not gonna say anything
because I won't have to,
169
00:08:08,598 --> 00:08:10,489
because Pierce
is playing head games with us.
170
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,711
- I've decided not to listen to it.
- What?
171
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:17,133
I'm not gonna listen to the CD
of you guys talking about me.
172
00:08:18,849 --> 00:08:20,011
Because I forgive you.
173
00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,600
But how do we know
what we're being forgiven for?
174
00:08:22,725 --> 00:08:25,671
- We don't even know what's on there.
- And you never have to.
175
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,265
What if he is coming, though?
What are you gonna say to him?
176
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,721
I'll be him.
177
00:08:37,876 --> 00:08:39,595
Hi, I'm Jeff's dad.
178
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,769
Hi, Jeff's dad.
179
00:08:41,049 --> 00:08:42,891
- I'm Britta's dad.
- What? Why?
180
00:08:43,016 --> 00:08:45,043
I don't know.
Got drunk, didn't have a condom,
181
00:08:45,168 --> 00:08:47,359
and her mom gets freaky
when she hears Oingo Boingo.
182
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,404
I wish I could relate, but like my son,
I'm a closet homosexual.
183
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,807
Don't apologize for that.
184
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:54,045
You're talking to the guy
that banged Britta's mom.
185
00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:55,409
I have no standards.
186
00:08:55,534 --> 00:08:57,329
What if we take a tumble?
I'll put a wig.
187
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,621
That's it. You're under arrest.
I'm an undercover cop.
188
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,088
- It's not illegal to be gay.
- It is here in Iran.
189
00:09:02,213 --> 00:09:04,531
- Not when we're in the green zone.
- That's Iraq, stupid.
190
00:09:04,656 --> 00:09:07,318
What do I know?
I'm Jeff Winger's dumb, gay dad.
191
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:12,971
My father was a two-bit con man
of so little substance
192
00:09:13,096 --> 00:09:15,544
he couldn't leave a trail
if he wanted to.
193
00:09:15,669 --> 00:09:17,720
And I don't care
if Pierce hired Scotland Yard.
194
00:09:17,845 --> 00:09:20,131
He isn't gonna track him down
from a hospital bed.
195
00:09:20,369 --> 00:09:22,477
I mean,
money can't just make people appear.
196
00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:24,346
Excuse me.
197
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:26,565
I'm looking for Troy Barnes.
198
00:09:27,069 --> 00:09:28,819
Pierce Hawthorne sent me.
199
00:09:39,159 --> 00:09:40,379
I'm Levar Burton.
200
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:45,884
Pierce got Levar Burton
to come here for Troy?
201
00:09:46,158 --> 00:09:47,669
Is there anyone he can't produce?
202
00:09:48,444 --> 00:09:50,080
Now I'm really getting mad.
203
00:09:50,205 --> 00:09:52,341
Why am I the only one
he decided to torture?
204
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,900
I told Pierce a thousand times.
205
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,003
I never wanted to meet Levar
in person!
206
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,272
I just wanted a picture!
207
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:10,123
You can't disappoint a picture!
208
00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:11,944
I hate you, Pierce!
209
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,661
I hate you so much!
210
00:10:21,529 --> 00:10:22,537
I forgive you.
211
00:10:23,541 --> 00:10:24,691
Annie Edison.
212
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,042
Your bequeathal is at hand.
213
00:10:28,959 --> 00:10:30,879
Do you have a regular job here?
214
00:10:35,105 --> 00:10:37,286
I know you're being strong for me.
215
00:10:37,411 --> 00:10:38,887
I give you permission to weep.
216
00:10:39,986 --> 00:10:41,431
I'm crying on the inside.
217
00:10:42,152 --> 00:10:43,228
Gross.
218
00:10:43,561 --> 00:10:45,394
In any case,
I want to give you this.
219
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:48,919
It's been in my family
for six generations.
220
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:50,816
Now it's yours.
221
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:14,270
- Do you want to see your dad?
- He's not coming.
222
00:11:14,395 --> 00:11:16,036
But do you want to see him?
223
00:11:16,524 --> 00:11:18,176
Then why aren't you leaving?
224
00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:19,826
Because I don't care
225
00:11:19,951 --> 00:11:22,047
and I'm not gonna let him think
that I care.
226
00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:24,379
- Your dad or Pierce?
- There is no dad.
227
00:11:24,504 --> 00:11:26,322
And get this thing out of my face!
228
00:11:26,447 --> 00:11:29,441
And don't you dare intercut this
with footage of me freaking out.
229
00:11:35,242 --> 00:11:37,075
Is there footage
of you freaking out?
230
00:11:38,207 --> 00:11:40,906
I'm gonna kill you
and Pierce and Britta
231
00:11:41,031 --> 00:11:43,893
and anyone else
who thinks I care about any of this!
232
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,420
So do you go to school nearby?
233
00:11:49,785 --> 00:11:53,170
Are you more familiar with me
from Star Trek or Reading Rainbow?
234
00:11:53,777 --> 00:11:57,469
Reading Rainbow was a show
I hosted and produced for 25 years.
235
00:11:57,594 --> 00:11:58,744
Ever seen it?
236
00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:19,696
Set phasers to love me!
237
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,699
- What does it mean?
- What do you mean?
238
00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:25,904
No riddles.
You're screwing around with everyone.
239
00:12:26,029 --> 00:12:27,969
You gave me a tiara.
What does it mean?
240
00:12:28,094 --> 00:12:31,013
Are these blood diamonds?
241
00:12:31,941 --> 00:12:34,211
Are they holocaust diamonds?
242
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,797
What does it mean?
243
00:12:37,384 --> 00:12:39,374
It means you're my favorite.
244
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:41,682
What does that mean?
245
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,203
I did it.
I gave away the money.
246
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,139
The Red Cross.
247
00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:50,694
You know what that makes me?
A terrible person.
248
00:12:50,819 --> 00:12:52,487
Because if that camera wasn't on me,
249
00:12:52,612 --> 00:12:55,434
I would have taken that money
right out of the mouths of crippled,
250
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,542
starving,
malaria-ridden refugee kids
251
00:12:58,667 --> 00:13:00,880
and now I know that forever.
252
00:13:05,765 --> 00:13:07,744
You've got to forgive yourself.
253
00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,260
I've forgiven all of you
for the horrible things...
254
00:13:10,385 --> 00:13:12,124
For crying out loud,
give me that CD.
255
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,543
- We're gonna listen to it.
- I don't want to.
256
00:13:16,652 --> 00:13:17,629
Britta, wait.
257
00:13:22,611 --> 00:13:25,590
I'll be right back.
Don't learn anything without me.
258
00:13:26,409 --> 00:13:28,709
So how much do we all hate Shirley?
259
00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:30,600
Knock it off.
260
00:13:30,725 --> 00:13:33,812
James Bond, stop trying to record us
with that stupid spy pen.
261
00:13:34,374 --> 00:13:36,026
We can see the blinking light.
262
00:13:36,151 --> 00:13:38,419
Why do you recording us
bad-mouthing each other?
263
00:13:38,544 --> 00:13:40,434
Because he thinks friendship
is a competition.
264
00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:42,273
He's always trying
to get the upper hand.
265
00:13:42,398 --> 00:13:44,100
Think Shirley's any different?
266
00:13:45,101 --> 00:13:46,101
Moron.
267
00:13:47,204 --> 00:13:48,925
Guess we do owe you an apology.
268
00:13:49,050 --> 00:13:51,349
We shouldn't have said those things
about you.
269
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,145
I guess the lesson here is
270
00:13:59,270 --> 00:14:01,306
that I sometimes use guilt
as a weapon.
271
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:05,790
- What are you doing?
- Just shooting a talking head
272
00:14:05,915 --> 00:14:09,473
or did you want me to be the only one
who didn't have one?
273
00:14:10,813 --> 00:14:11,963
No, go ahead.
274
00:14:13,675 --> 00:14:15,312
I think it stems from when I was...
275
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,193
You found my father?
276
00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,153
Yes, he's on his way.
277
00:14:23,759 --> 00:14:25,898
If this is too much to handle,
278
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,366
I completely understand
and I can call it off.
279
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,827
- I think I'm ready to see him.
- Good.
280
00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:32,358
Good for you.
281
00:14:35,628 --> 00:14:37,000
I should probably tell you.
282
00:14:37,392 --> 00:14:40,011
If you're lying to me,
if my father isn't coming,
283
00:14:40,136 --> 00:14:43,376
if a car pulls up and anyone other
than my father steps out, say,
284
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:45,156
an actor or you in a wig.
285
00:14:45,281 --> 00:14:48,866
If you try to pull any Ferris Bueller,
Parent Trap, Three's Company, FX,
286
00:14:48,991 --> 00:14:51,223
FX2 The Deadly Art
of Illusion bullshit,
287
00:14:51,581 --> 00:14:52,599
I'll beat you.
288
00:14:53,667 --> 00:14:56,147
And there will be nothing madcap
or wacky about it.
289
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,793
- Understood?
- Crystal.
290
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:18,653
- I'm Levar.
- I know.
291
00:15:18,778 --> 00:15:20,252
I was a huge fan of Rebop.
292
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:23,902
It was cancelled before I was born,
but I scored some VHS copies.
293
00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:27,008
I was nostalgic
from a very early age.
294
00:15:27,346 --> 00:15:28,346
Cool.
295
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:33,388
I assumed that Troy was a fan,
but he hasn't said a word to me.
296
00:15:33,513 --> 00:15:35,566
And now
I've got to catch this flight.
297
00:15:35,929 --> 00:15:36,915
You can't go.
298
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,437
He loves you.
He talks about you all the time.
299
00:15:40,077 --> 00:15:42,967
How much would it cost
to change your flight till tomorrow?
300
00:15:43,449 --> 00:15:46,361
Is $261 enough?
'cause that's all I've got.
301
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,208
That's all you've got?
302
00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:51,515
No, you keep your money.
303
00:15:51,846 --> 00:15:53,827
I'll reschedule.
304
00:15:55,165 --> 00:15:57,414
Thank you.
He's gonna be so happy.
305
00:15:57,846 --> 00:15:59,896
You are a very generous friend.
306
00:16:00,229 --> 00:16:01,835
But you're stupid with your money.
307
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,961
It's not that I'm selfish.
308
00:16:07,086 --> 00:16:09,631
It's just that I'm really stupid
with my money,
309
00:16:09,756 --> 00:16:11,857
which is why
I'll never have a lot of it.
310
00:16:11,982 --> 00:16:14,338
And because
I'm a really generous friend.
311
00:16:14,651 --> 00:16:15,737
Problem solved.
312
00:16:15,862 --> 00:16:17,160
Dilemma deleted.
313
00:16:17,285 --> 00:16:18,810
Britta for the win!
314
00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:22,911
Thank God he didn't take it.
315
00:16:23,036 --> 00:16:26,037
Could you imagine
bouncing a check to Kunta Kinte?
316
00:16:53,816 --> 00:16:55,316
This is your father.
317
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,247
It's me here in this Sedan.
318
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:01,524
See?
I'm waving.
319
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:05,065
I'm sorry
I can't come any closer, my boy.
320
00:17:05,641 --> 00:17:07,241
This is too difficult.
321
00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,824
You look too much like your mother.
322
00:17:10,183 --> 00:17:11,488
Don't come closer.
323
00:17:11,818 --> 00:17:12,918
As you were.
324
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:15,408
Have to catch a flight to Katmandu,
325
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,452
I wanted to say
cherish your new friends.
326
00:17:19,127 --> 00:17:20,622
They're your true family now!
327
00:17:23,923 --> 00:17:26,265
Don't open it!
It'll be too hard for both of us!
328
00:17:33,299 --> 00:17:35,178
When you improvise a plan,
329
00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:37,185
sometimes you hit a speed bump.
330
00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:39,854
And sometimes you hit it so hard
331
00:17:40,272 --> 00:17:42,390
that you soar through the air,
332
00:17:42,515 --> 00:17:44,896
far beyond
your initial expectations.
333
00:17:45,570 --> 00:17:47,945
I set out to take revenge
on Jeff Winger,
334
00:17:48,070 --> 00:17:50,512
to scare him
with the ghost of his father.
335
00:17:50,637 --> 00:17:51,403
Instead,
336
00:17:51,732 --> 00:17:53,982
I took over the role of his father,
337
00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:55,824
and helped make him a better man.
338
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,264
It'll be a long time
before Jeff Winger
339
00:17:59,389 --> 00:18:01,104
underestimates me again.
340
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,543
Why would you do
something like this?
341
00:18:09,714 --> 00:18:10,505
Because
342
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:14,217
I'm sick of you people
not taking me seriously!
343
00:18:14,675 --> 00:18:16,261
You forget my birthday!
344
00:18:16,565 --> 00:18:17,846
You don't invite me
345
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:21,766
to your Dungeons & Dragons games
or your secret trampoline!
346
00:18:22,493 --> 00:18:24,894
You guys think
I'm some kind of a joke!
347
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,105
This isn't disproving the theory!
348
00:18:29,168 --> 00:18:30,024
Good point.
349
00:18:30,363 --> 00:18:31,613
What'd you say?
350
00:18:33,298 --> 00:18:36,348
Apparently I need to say some things
to my father.
351
00:18:36,977 --> 00:18:40,674
Things that I may have screamed
at Pierce instead.
352
00:18:41,775 --> 00:18:43,940
I'm not saying
he doesn't deserve it.
353
00:18:44,872 --> 00:18:46,872
But my father deserves it too.
354
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,965
I figured out your test.
Crowns, presents,
355
00:18:54,783 --> 00:18:55,884
punishments,
356
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,052
favorites.
357
00:18:57,671 --> 00:19:00,456
You're trying to show me the dangers
of my own elitism.
358
00:19:00,581 --> 00:19:02,881
My constant striving to be the best.
359
00:19:04,629 --> 00:19:06,519
I'm "requeathing" this tiara.
360
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,731
Because
if I become the kind of person
361
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,756
who thinks it's their place
to pick favorites
362
00:19:11,881 --> 00:19:15,278
and torture the rest,
I'll die sad and alone.
363
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,615
That's what you taught me.
364
00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:20,970
Very good, Annie.
365
00:19:21,434 --> 00:19:22,434
You pass.
366
00:19:28,410 --> 00:19:30,510
She's actually just my favorite.
367
00:19:35,124 --> 00:19:38,885
So I thought the documentary format
would be like fish in a barrel,
368
00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,578
but as is the case with a real one,
369
00:19:40,928 --> 00:19:43,097
it can become cramped,
chaotic, and stinky.
370
00:19:45,905 --> 00:19:47,922
If in the end,
your documentary is turning out
371
00:19:48,047 --> 00:19:49,896
just as messy as real life,
372
00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:51,746
you can wrap it up
with a random shots,
373
00:19:51,871 --> 00:19:54,679
which when cut together
under a generic voice-over,
374
00:19:55,218 --> 00:19:57,358
suggest
a profound thematic connection.
375
00:19:58,370 --> 00:19:59,531
I'm not knocking it.
376
00:20:00,141 --> 00:20:00,990
It works.
377
00:20:02,155 --> 00:20:03,155
Guys.
378
00:20:14,803 --> 00:20:16,303
Jeff and I became...
379
00:20:17,086 --> 00:20:19,286
kind of like father and son today.
380
00:20:20,239 --> 00:20:21,489
No, we did not.
381
00:20:27,435 --> 00:20:30,535
Troy, I am telling you,
this salmon is really good.
382
00:20:33,892 --> 00:20:35,712
Would you mind
passing me the pepper?
383
00:21:04,595 --> 00:21:06,095
More fish for Kunta.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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