1 00:00:05,122 --> 00:00:07,624 Happy Friday, everybody. What are you doing this weekend? 2 00:00:07,658 --> 00:00:11,161 The question is, who am I doing this weekend? 3 00:00:11,195 --> 00:00:13,096 He's asking because he's already forgotten. 4 00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,697 It's nobody. 5 00:00:14,732 --> 00:00:16,332 I'm volunteering at the animal hospital. 6 00:00:16,367 --> 00:00:17,433 - Aw. - Animal hospital? 7 00:00:17,468 --> 00:00:18,868 The animals are the patients. 8 00:00:18,903 --> 00:00:20,103 That makes sense. 9 00:00:20,137 --> 00:00:21,938 Yeah, Dr. Zizmor's letting me work off 10 00:00:21,972 --> 00:00:23,639 the cost of Daniel's eye surgery. 11 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,491 Wait. You won't spend money on a name-brand phone, 12 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,377 but you got lasik for your geriatric cat? 13 00:00:27,411 --> 00:00:29,512 He only has the one eye, Jeff. 14 00:00:29,547 --> 00:00:32,148 I can't exactly buy him a cat monocle, can I? 15 00:00:32,183 --> 00:00:33,383 It's pretentious. 16 00:00:33,417 --> 00:00:36,019 And for your information, this is a totorola. 17 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,923 [Men cheering loudly] 18 00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:42,192 Troy and I will be having a very special Saturday night, 19 00:00:42,226 --> 00:00:44,160 as in Dark Knight. 20 00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:48,031 It came! Our limited-edition, $299 Dark Knight DVD 21 00:00:48,065 --> 00:00:49,165 with bonus footage, special commentary, 22 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,666 and a Christian Bale autograph, 23 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:53,686 including a personalized message of up to four words! 24 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,106 "Abed is Batman now, Christian Bale." 25 00:00:57,141 --> 00:00:59,475 - It's official. - From the man himself. 26 00:00:59,510 --> 00:01:00,894 May I have that back, Annie? Thank you. 27 00:01:00,945 --> 00:01:02,395 And just to clarify, if you see this lying out, 28 00:01:02,446 --> 00:01:03,780 I'm still using it, so you don't have 29 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,181 to take it to the kitchen, dump it out, and wash the bowl. 30 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,516 Is this about your buttered noodles? 31 00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,568 I didn't say that. [Men shouting] 32 00:01:08,619 --> 00:01:11,237 - Yes! - Into your face! 33 00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:13,356 Your tears reveal your weakness! 34 00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:15,091 What is it with those tools and foosball? 35 00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:17,060 - They've been at it for weeks. - I think they're European. 36 00:01:17,094 --> 00:01:18,912 It's probably a more important game over there. 37 00:01:18,963 --> 00:01:20,129 Foosball's like the soccer of ping-pong. 38 00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:21,547 [Men chanting] 39 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,883 - I can't take it anymore. - Oh, Jeffrey, let them be. 40 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:26,552 Gentlemen, my name is Clarence Thaddeus Foos. 41 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,671 My grandfather, Fletcher Morton Foos, 42 00:01:28,706 --> 00:01:31,007 invented this game for one purpose-- 43 00:01:31,041 --> 00:01:33,309 to have the loudest, dumbest thing happen. 44 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:34,744 Now it has. 45 00:01:34,778 --> 00:01:36,546 The game of foosball is completed. 46 00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:37,780 You're free to return 47 00:01:37,815 --> 00:01:39,916 to your undoubtedly hearing-impaired families. 48 00:01:39,950 --> 00:01:43,620 [German accent] Tell you what, we'll stop playing, 49 00:01:43,654 --> 00:01:45,355 if you can score a point on us. 50 00:01:45,389 --> 00:01:48,091 Tempting, but then wouldn't I be playing foosball? 51 00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:51,894 And, if so, how would I not be a loud, weird knob? 52 00:01:51,929 --> 00:01:53,196 [German accent] Free shot. 53 00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:55,431 I'm not even touching the foosenschaften. 54 00:01:55,466 --> 00:01:58,918 Sorry, luftballons. I'm above it. 55 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:01,871 [Men cheering] Boo-yah! 56 00:02:01,905 --> 00:02:05,008 I wish there was a word to describe the pleasure I feel 57 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,309 at viewing misfortune. 58 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,628 'Tis the face of a broken man. 59 00:02:08,679 --> 00:02:10,513 Jeff. Smile. [Electrical popping] 60 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,048 - Uh, uh... - Ooh! 61 00:02:12,082 --> 00:02:14,083 They, uh, -- they come in a six-pack. 62 00:02:14,118 --> 00:02:18,087 ♪ Give me some more time in a dream ♪ 63 00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:21,257 ♪ give me the hope to run out of steam ♪ 64 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:24,761 ♪ somebody said we could be here ♪ 65 00:02:24,795 --> 00:02:28,764 ♪ we could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year ♪ 66 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:33,703 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 67 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:38,124 ♪ one by one they all just fade away ♪ 68 00:02:38,125 --> 00:02:40,379 sync by Sp8ky, corrected by susanaLC www.addic7ed.com 69 00:02:44,448 --> 00:02:46,783 Oh-- [Breathes deeply] 70 00:02:46,817 --> 00:02:48,334 Buttered noodles. 71 00:02:51,155 --> 00:02:54,807 I'm allowed to throw out the dust, right? 72 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,792 Yeah. 73 00:02:56,810 --> 00:02:58,961 [Crunch] 74 00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:07,403 [Gasps] 75 00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:11,774 [Troy humming] 76 00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,782 What's wrong? 77 00:03:19,817 --> 00:03:23,152 I-I... 78 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:26,622 [Gasps] 79 00:03:26,657 --> 00:03:27,623 Why? 80 00:03:27,658 --> 00:03:29,342 - I stepped on it. - Why? 81 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,994 - I was dusting the tv. - Why? 82 00:03:32,029 --> 00:03:33,846 I can run out and get a new one before he gets home. 83 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:34,931 Oh, sure, Annie. 84 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,766 And--and then we just have to record 85 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,602 fake exclusive commentary by Christian Bale. 86 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:40,887 Go ahead, you first. 87 00:03:40,938 --> 00:03:42,772 [Gravelly voice] This scene was a special challenge 88 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,040 - to all involved-- - Stop it! 89 00:03:44,074 --> 00:03:45,475 That's not a real option! 90 00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:47,510 The disc is irreplaceably awesome! 91 00:03:47,544 --> 00:03:49,678 [Normal voice] What if we got a different disc, and-- 92 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,848 Annie, do you know how many sitcoms 93 00:03:51,882 --> 00:03:54,867 have done the "secretly replace a broken, priceless item" thing? 94 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,552 'Cause Abed does. 95 00:03:56,587 --> 00:03:58,621 Abed knows everything, 96 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,573 and I know you think you can think your way out of this 97 00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:04,860 with your "thinkiness," but don't think too much. 98 00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:06,729 You just have to confess. 99 00:04:06,764 --> 00:04:09,415 - Okay? - Okay. 100 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:14,703 [Humming sadly] 101 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,892 [Gravelly voice] We shot this scene on location-- 102 00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,844 [Normal voice] Okay, he's right. It won't work. 103 00:04:21,879 --> 00:04:25,548 [Ball rattling] 104 00:04:27,117 --> 00:04:29,886 Jeffrey? What--what are you doing? 105 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,070 Hmm? Oh. 106 00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:32,605 You know, I just thought... 107 00:04:32,656 --> 00:04:34,824 Next time those deutsche-bags try to show off, 108 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:36,392 maybe I can catch them by surprise. 109 00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:39,028 Jeff, you don't need to worry what foreigners think about you. 110 00:04:39,062 --> 00:04:41,431 That's your birthright as an American. 111 00:04:41,465 --> 00:04:44,617 [Sighs] Okay... 112 00:04:44,668 --> 00:04:46,769 Small confession. 113 00:04:46,804 --> 00:04:48,404 I used to love foosball. 114 00:04:48,439 --> 00:04:50,540 It was a great after-school game 115 00:04:50,574 --> 00:04:52,942 for a lonely kid with no dad-- 116 00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:54,427 you know, just masculine enough 117 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,212 without having to know how to throw or catch. 118 00:04:56,246 --> 00:04:57,580 I have seen you throw. 119 00:04:57,614 --> 00:04:59,282 And it was fun... 120 00:04:59,316 --> 00:05:02,718 Till I started getting bullied by people like those Germans. 121 00:05:02,753 --> 00:05:04,153 So I quit. 122 00:05:04,188 --> 00:05:06,556 Well, you did the right thing. 123 00:05:06,590 --> 00:05:10,393 Foosball is a vile game for vile people. 124 00:05:10,427 --> 00:05:12,361 Shirley, you wouldn't get it. It's a guy thing. 125 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:14,564 It's not a fresh-baked-pie thing. 126 00:05:14,598 --> 00:05:17,733 Well, I might get it a little. 127 00:05:29,980 --> 00:05:31,280 [Grunts angrily] 128 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,785 You don't know me. 129 00:05:37,721 --> 00:05:42,358 Ho...Ly...Crap. 130 00:05:42,392 --> 00:05:44,293 All right, I think I figured out the viewing order-- 131 00:05:44,328 --> 00:05:46,395 original version, director's cut, 132 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:47,497 director's cut with commentary, 133 00:05:47,531 --> 00:05:49,565 and then original version cool-down. 134 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,002 - Yeah, we'll see. - Mm-hmm. 135 00:05:53,036 --> 00:05:55,471 Oh, my God, you guys. 136 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,139 We've been robbed! 137 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:59,141 [Weeping] 138 00:05:59,176 --> 00:06:00,943 Oh, man. 139 00:06:00,978 --> 00:06:04,080 I can't believe we got robbed. 140 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:05,865 Shirley, Shirley. 141 00:06:05,916 --> 00:06:07,166 You have to teach me. 142 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,352 Please, help me beat those evil power krauts. 143 00:06:09,386 --> 00:06:11,087 Don't you get it, Jeff? 144 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:14,590 They're not evil people that are good at foosball. 145 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,560 They are good at foosball because they're evil. 146 00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:20,062 It's an evil game that brings out the worst in us, 147 00:06:20,097 --> 00:06:22,064 like--like out-of-town weddings where the reception's 148 00:06:22,099 --> 00:06:23,499 in the same place as everybody's rooms? 149 00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:26,302 Great. After three years of religious advice 150 00:06:26,336 --> 00:06:27,570 and carb-laden pastries, 151 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,840 you finally have one thing I actually need, and-- 152 00:06:30,874 --> 00:06:33,409 I'm sorry. 153 00:06:33,443 --> 00:06:35,912 Um, that was rude. 154 00:06:35,946 --> 00:06:39,248 [Sighs] It--it shouldn't be so important to me. 155 00:06:39,283 --> 00:06:41,367 I'll, uh... I'll see you Monday. 156 00:06:44,121 --> 00:06:46,188 Jeff... 157 00:06:46,223 --> 00:06:48,591 Tomorrow, dawn-- 158 00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:49,992 be in the student lounge. 159 00:06:50,027 --> 00:06:52,027 Shirley, you are the best. 160 00:06:57,634 --> 00:07:00,403 Dear lord, please forgive me. 161 00:07:00,437 --> 00:07:02,338 And please have mercy on him. 162 00:07:02,372 --> 00:07:04,307 The stakes have never been higher. 163 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:05,608 Shut up, Leonard. 164 00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:06,976 I found your YouTube page. 165 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,945 What's the point in reviewing frozen pizza? 166 00:07:08,979 --> 00:07:10,429 You're talking about it. 167 00:07:11,647 --> 00:07:13,049 Well, that is true. 168 00:07:17,544 --> 00:07:18,552 Now, Jeffrey... 169 00:07:18,903 --> 00:07:20,099 The key to winning foosball 170 00:07:20,219 --> 00:07:21,280 is to tap into your darkness, 171 00:07:21,405 --> 00:07:22,772 so I need you to promise you won't judge 172 00:07:22,823 --> 00:07:24,457 the side of me that might come out. 173 00:07:24,491 --> 00:07:25,892 Shirley... 174 00:07:25,926 --> 00:07:27,727 I'm gonna be perfectly blunt with you. 175 00:07:27,761 --> 00:07:30,129 The few times that you've been a little bad 176 00:07:30,163 --> 00:07:31,264 are the times I've liked you most. 177 00:07:31,298 --> 00:07:32,732 - Really? - Remember making fun 178 00:07:32,766 --> 00:07:34,233 of Britta's boyfriend's tiny nipples? 179 00:07:34,268 --> 00:07:35,902 Oh, yeah, they were tiny. 180 00:07:35,936 --> 00:07:37,570 Remember what you did to Pierce's hoagie? 181 00:07:37,604 --> 00:07:39,739 That was so disturbing, I almost proposed on the spot. 182 00:07:39,773 --> 00:07:43,426 Now, come on, show me how to dominate. 183 00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:46,279 All right, Winger, hands on the grips. 184 00:07:47,414 --> 00:07:49,115 I'm coming up on your right side 185 00:07:49,149 --> 00:07:51,083 in three, two, one! 186 00:07:51,118 --> 00:07:52,301 You know why you can't stop me? 187 00:07:52,352 --> 00:07:53,619 'Cause I'm not playing a game. 188 00:07:53,654 --> 00:07:55,972 For you, it's winning and losing. 189 00:07:56,023 --> 00:07:57,756 For me, it's life and death. [Grunts angrily] 190 00:07:57,774 --> 00:07:58,941 That's how I win. 191 00:07:58,976 --> 00:08:00,393 That's where you have to go. 192 00:08:00,427 --> 00:08:03,162 No more thought, no more feeling. 193 00:08:03,196 --> 00:08:06,065 Kill or be killed. Kill or be killed, little man. 194 00:08:06,099 --> 00:08:07,566 Think back to when this game mattered, 195 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,068 before you got to be too cool. [Grunts angrily] 196 00:08:09,102 --> 00:08:10,670 Stop acting like you're not ashamed right now. 197 00:08:10,704 --> 00:08:12,655 Follow that shame to the fear. 198 00:08:12,706 --> 00:08:14,790 Follow that fear to the rage. 199 00:08:14,825 --> 00:08:17,276 You put that rage-- aah! 200 00:08:17,294 --> 00:08:19,495 Up your ass, Turkey. Ha ha! 201 00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:22,048 There's only two ways off this table-- 202 00:08:22,082 --> 00:08:23,215 kill or be killed. 203 00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,517 - Say it. - Kill or be killed. 204 00:08:24,551 --> 00:08:25,518 I said say it, mumbles! 205 00:08:25,552 --> 00:08:27,153 - Kill or be killed. - Kill! 206 00:08:27,187 --> 00:08:28,304 - Kill! - Kill! 207 00:08:28,338 --> 00:08:30,622 Both: Kill! 208 00:08:30,641 --> 00:08:31,641 Yeah! 209 00:08:34,261 --> 00:08:36,395 You called me Turkey. 210 00:08:36,430 --> 00:08:39,198 I love it. [Growls softly] 211 00:08:42,135 --> 00:08:44,937 Sorry we couldn't get a car over here until now. 212 00:08:44,972 --> 00:08:47,173 Our captain was killed on duty last night. 213 00:08:47,207 --> 00:08:49,442 My God, I'm so sorry. 214 00:08:49,476 --> 00:08:50,609 Yeah. Good man-- 215 00:08:50,644 --> 00:08:53,179 leaves behind two kids and a pregnant wife. 216 00:08:53,213 --> 00:08:54,697 So you're missing a Batman DVD? 217 00:08:54,748 --> 00:08:57,383 My Dark Knight extended extended cut--it wasn't insured. 218 00:08:57,417 --> 00:08:58,817 Well, there's no sign of forced entry 219 00:08:58,835 --> 00:09:00,152 on your door or windows. 220 00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:01,520 You sure it wasn't just misplaced? 221 00:09:01,555 --> 00:09:03,005 Someone definitely broke in. 222 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,457 Some of my jewelry's missing. 223 00:09:04,491 --> 00:09:05,958 You sure about that, Annie? 224 00:09:05,993 --> 00:09:08,194 Mm-hmm. My necklace. 225 00:09:08,228 --> 00:09:09,662 It was gold-- white gold-- 226 00:09:09,696 --> 00:09:10,863 with emeralds. 227 00:09:10,897 --> 00:09:12,531 And my name engraved in Hebrew. 228 00:09:12,566 --> 00:09:14,133 It was a bat mitzvah gift from my Nana. 229 00:09:14,167 --> 00:09:16,235 She was a rockette. She married a count. 230 00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:18,554 He was blind. He loved her for her mind. 231 00:09:18,605 --> 00:09:20,006 That's good color for the report, 232 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,207 but I got to be honest, 233 00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:23,342 small stuff like this almost never turns up. 234 00:09:23,377 --> 00:09:26,045 - Oh, no, Abed. - We'll be in touch. Say... 235 00:09:26,079 --> 00:09:28,064 You look familiar. 236 00:09:28,115 --> 00:09:29,915 Did I ever pretend to shoot a guy in front of you 237 00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:32,084 to teach you about gun safety? 238 00:09:33,887 --> 00:09:36,555 I'm really good at faces. [Door closes] 239 00:09:36,590 --> 00:09:38,741 Well, I guess the only upside to this is 240 00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:40,326 it's brought us closer together as roommates. 241 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,261 Something doesn't add up. 242 00:09:42,295 --> 00:09:44,330 If there was no forced entry, it had to be an inside job. 243 00:09:44,364 --> 00:09:45,881 - We don't know that. - And instead of taking cash, 244 00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:48,200 pharmaceuticals, laptops, they take what? 245 00:09:48,235 --> 00:09:50,219 My Batman DVD, and one piece 246 00:09:50,253 --> 00:09:52,471 of oddly ornate Hebrew-themed jewelry? 247 00:09:52,506 --> 00:09:53,756 - Nana gave it. - It's smoke. 248 00:09:53,807 --> 00:09:55,257 - It's a ruse, a lie. - Hmm? 249 00:09:55,308 --> 00:09:58,060 I think I know what happened here. 250 00:09:58,095 --> 00:09:59,595 Abed, I-- 251 00:09:59,646 --> 00:10:01,247 The landlord did it. 252 00:10:01,281 --> 00:10:02,848 It all makes sense. 253 00:10:02,883 --> 00:10:04,417 Rick has keys to every apartment--means. 254 00:10:04,451 --> 00:10:06,018 He knows when we're coming and going--opportunity. 255 00:10:06,053 --> 00:10:09,789 And he was dressed as the Joker for Halloween--motive. 256 00:10:09,823 --> 00:10:12,691 - Hmm. - Something's got to be done. 257 00:10:12,725 --> 00:10:14,577 Oh, let's not leap to thing-doing. 258 00:10:14,611 --> 00:10:17,029 [Door closes] Right, Annie? 259 00:10:17,064 --> 00:10:21,033 [Squealing] 260 00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:22,734 Double strike. 261 00:10:22,753 --> 00:10:23,753 Got it. 262 00:10:23,787 --> 00:10:25,071 Back blast. 263 00:10:25,105 --> 00:10:26,072 Boom! 264 00:10:26,106 --> 00:10:27,106 Viper shot. 265 00:10:28,508 --> 00:10:30,409 - Nailed it! - Oh, look... 266 00:10:30,427 --> 00:10:32,611 How cute-- you do like foosball, 267 00:10:32,646 --> 00:10:34,580 you just have to practice with your mama. 268 00:10:34,614 --> 00:10:36,382 What are you guys doing here on a Saturday night? 269 00:10:36,416 --> 00:10:38,050 Shouldn't you be making weird art movies 270 00:10:38,085 --> 00:10:40,152 - or well-engineered cars? - You take that back! 271 00:10:40,187 --> 00:10:42,088 We came to play. Get away from our table. 272 00:10:42,122 --> 00:10:43,656 - We're using it, strudel-brain. - Nice. 273 00:10:43,690 --> 00:10:44,657 Then play us for it. 274 00:10:44,691 --> 00:10:47,026 Fine. Monday morning-- 275 00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,627 only let's make it interesting. 276 00:10:48,662 --> 00:10:50,529 The losers never get to use this table again. 277 00:10:50,564 --> 00:10:53,065 Oh, you are so on that things have now 278 00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,267 become very much like Donkey Kong. 279 00:10:55,302 --> 00:10:56,969 We're gonna kick das butt. 280 00:10:57,003 --> 00:10:57,970 - Nice. - Thank you. 281 00:10:58,004 --> 00:10:59,905 Enough teutonic punnery. 282 00:10:59,940 --> 00:11:03,709 Monday morning you get this... 283 00:11:05,045 --> 00:11:07,913 Were you guys walking around with a soccer ball 284 00:11:07,948 --> 00:11:10,382 just so you could do that? 285 00:11:10,417 --> 00:11:13,419 They left the ball and everything. 286 00:11:13,453 --> 00:11:15,488 I think they were literally walking around with it 287 00:11:15,522 --> 00:11:17,423 like a prop to use. 288 00:11:17,457 --> 00:11:20,226 That's, like, a $25 dollar bit, and it's not even that good. 289 00:11:22,345 --> 00:11:23,896 You have got to come clean, okay? 290 00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:25,731 I don't know what he's doing in there, but it feels dramatic. 291 00:11:25,765 --> 00:11:28,200 I'm sure he's already moved on to some other obsession. 292 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:32,271 Oh, look, fun. 293 00:11:32,305 --> 00:11:33,972 [Gravelly voice] The police are powerless. 294 00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:36,475 I must take justice into my own hands. 295 00:11:36,493 --> 00:11:39,378 Men like Rick operate above the law. 296 00:11:39,412 --> 00:11:41,780 But there's something else above the law... 297 00:11:41,815 --> 00:11:43,282 Bats... 298 00:11:43,316 --> 00:11:45,651 And me. 299 00:11:45,669 --> 00:11:48,003 Abed, don't do anything drastic. 300 00:11:48,038 --> 00:11:50,489 Yeah, maybe we should all just take a step back and-- 301 00:11:50,524 --> 00:11:53,159 Aw, is that the grappling hook I got you for Christmas? 302 00:11:53,193 --> 00:11:54,593 The night beckons. 303 00:11:54,628 --> 00:11:56,629 Its black fingers curl and uncurl, 304 00:11:56,663 --> 00:11:59,548 going, like, "hey, come here." 305 00:11:59,599 --> 00:12:01,534 Abed, wait! 306 00:12:01,568 --> 00:12:02,735 Wait. I did it. 307 00:12:02,769 --> 00:12:04,403 I stepped on your DVD, and it broke, 308 00:12:04,437 --> 00:12:07,406 and I staged a break-in to cover it up. 309 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,908 If that were true, 310 00:12:08,942 --> 00:12:10,609 you would've come forward a long time ago. 311 00:12:10,644 --> 00:12:13,913 You're lying to keep me out of danger. 312 00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:15,531 But there can be no peace 313 00:12:15,565 --> 00:12:18,050 while crime spits and dances on the grave of justice 314 00:12:18,084 --> 00:12:19,552 to the hot beats of infectious rhythms 315 00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:22,188 of all that is wrong. 316 00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:26,592 - Oh! - Just... 317 00:12:26,626 --> 00:12:28,527 - Use your foot. - Ooh, ooh, ooh! 318 00:12:28,562 --> 00:12:30,028 You're okay--okay. 319 00:12:30,046 --> 00:12:31,263 Ooh! 320 00:12:31,298 --> 00:12:33,566 Abed... 321 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,884 - Oh! - Oh! 322 00:12:34,918 --> 00:12:36,435 Troy! What are we gonna do? 323 00:12:36,469 --> 00:12:37,970 Now you're open to input? 324 00:12:38,004 --> 00:12:39,255 I'm following him. 325 00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:43,058 You moving in here was supposed to tone us down. 326 00:12:43,093 --> 00:12:46,045 [Laughing] So, Shirley, tell me-- 327 00:12:46,079 --> 00:12:48,046 how does someone with your talent for foosball 328 00:12:48,064 --> 00:12:49,214 ever stop playing? 329 00:12:49,232 --> 00:12:50,716 Oh, I don't want to talk about that. 330 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,052 Oh, come on, we're, like, best friends now. 331 00:12:53,086 --> 00:12:55,287 Don't back away from this. Open up to me. 332 00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:57,923 [Laughing] Okay, well... 333 00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:00,626 When I was a kid, I had anger, Jeff-- 334 00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:04,430 real bad anger-- and foosball was a release. 335 00:13:04,464 --> 00:13:06,165 But I didn't just-- just beat people. 336 00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:07,733 I-I broke 'em. 337 00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:09,418 One time I was running this table 338 00:13:09,452 --> 00:13:11,036 over at this Y.M.C.A across town, 339 00:13:11,071 --> 00:13:12,705 and I was really giving it to this kid-- 340 00:13:12,739 --> 00:13:14,740 this skinny little white boy, no offense. 341 00:13:14,758 --> 00:13:17,576 He started crying. They always started crying. 342 00:13:17,594 --> 00:13:19,078 But something about this boy 343 00:13:19,112 --> 00:13:20,262 made me want to take it all the way. 344 00:13:20,297 --> 00:13:23,115 I started jabbing him with the rods until... 345 00:13:23,149 --> 00:13:25,968 The boy peed himself. 346 00:13:26,019 --> 00:13:27,753 Everybody laughed. I laughed. 347 00:13:27,771 --> 00:13:31,390 But after that, the game lost its flavor. 348 00:13:31,424 --> 00:13:33,292 Once you make a boy pee his pants, 349 00:13:33,326 --> 00:13:36,962 you start thinking about where your life is headed. 350 00:13:36,997 --> 00:13:41,100 Jeff, what's wrong? 351 00:13:41,134 --> 00:13:42,952 Gonna kill you! 352 00:13:42,986 --> 00:13:44,620 Your ass is mine! 353 00:13:44,654 --> 00:13:46,322 You're such a punk! 354 00:13:46,373 --> 00:13:48,657 You like being beat by a girl? 355 00:13:48,708 --> 00:13:50,960 Yes! [Kids cheering] 356 00:13:50,994 --> 00:13:52,444 What are you crying for? 357 00:13:52,462 --> 00:13:53,963 Your mama cannot help you, 358 00:13:53,997 --> 00:13:55,881 and I know your daddy ain't around, 359 00:13:55,915 --> 00:13:57,466 or you wouldn't play like a bitch. 360 00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,668 - [Crying] - Ha! 361 00:13:59,719 --> 00:14:02,921 [Coughing] All: Ooh. 362 00:14:05,892 --> 00:14:08,677 Oh, my goodness gracious. Is that what I think? 363 00:14:08,728 --> 00:14:11,296 I just beat this kid all the way to tinkle-town. 364 00:14:11,314 --> 00:14:16,101 All: Tinkle-town, tinkle-town, tinkle-town, tinkle-town. 365 00:14:16,136 --> 00:14:19,438 Tinkle-town, tinkle-town, tinkle-town, 366 00:14:19,472 --> 00:14:21,907 tinkle-town, tinkle-town. 367 00:14:21,941 --> 00:14:23,609 You were Big Cheddar? 368 00:14:23,643 --> 00:14:25,744 Who told you that-- 369 00:14:25,779 --> 00:14:29,081 Oh, dear lord. 370 00:14:29,115 --> 00:14:30,482 You're tinkle-town? 371 00:14:30,517 --> 00:14:32,751 Don't call me that. 372 00:14:32,786 --> 00:14:35,654 All your fake sweetness and religion 373 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:38,540 is just a veil covering a horrible monster. 374 00:14:41,461 --> 00:14:44,380 And I had a lot of Mountain Dew that day! 375 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:52,234 There's an 80 percent chance 376 00:14:52,354 --> 00:14:55,245 you can't leave Woodstock until you bone these hippies. 377 00:14:55,365 --> 00:14:56,604 Oh, boy. 378 00:14:59,461 --> 00:15:00,494 Aah! 379 00:15:14,626 --> 00:15:15,759 [Fabric tearing] 380 00:15:15,794 --> 00:15:17,861 You know what I came for, scum. 381 00:15:17,896 --> 00:15:18,862 Where is it? 382 00:15:18,897 --> 00:15:21,048 In the closet. In the closet, man. 383 00:15:21,082 --> 00:15:22,983 - Abed, stop it! - Get him! 384 00:15:23,018 --> 00:15:24,084 I mean, stop it. 385 00:15:24,119 --> 00:15:25,552 They're in the closet. 386 00:15:25,587 --> 00:15:28,422 I knew I'd get caught. Just don't hurt me, Batman. 387 00:15:28,456 --> 00:15:30,758 Closet. 388 00:15:35,163 --> 00:15:36,630 Women's shoes? 389 00:15:36,665 --> 00:15:38,966 But Rick doesn't have a wife... 390 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,118 Or women's feet. 391 00:15:41,152 --> 00:15:43,404 Wait. My summertime ballet flats? 392 00:15:43,438 --> 00:15:44,772 I thought I lost these in the move. 393 00:15:44,806 --> 00:15:46,940 Is it there? Does he have the DVD? 394 00:15:46,958 --> 00:15:48,876 - The what? - The DVD. 395 00:15:48,910 --> 00:15:51,679 He has it, all right. 396 00:15:51,713 --> 00:15:53,914 And it looks like he broke it. 397 00:15:53,948 --> 00:15:56,450 - Ah. - [Whimpers] 398 00:15:56,484 --> 00:15:58,152 Who are you? 399 00:16:02,524 --> 00:16:04,591 If you had something to say, 400 00:16:04,626 --> 00:16:06,393 why not put it in the text message? 401 00:16:06,428 --> 00:16:08,595 I wasn't sure what to say. 402 00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:10,931 Do you understand 403 00:16:10,965 --> 00:16:12,983 what you did to me... Big Cheddar? 404 00:16:13,018 --> 00:16:14,435 Please don't call me that. 405 00:16:14,469 --> 00:16:16,670 Why not? It's what you are-- 406 00:16:16,705 --> 00:16:18,405 a mean, nasty bully. 407 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,341 I was 12 years old. 408 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:21,608 I peed! 409 00:16:21,643 --> 00:16:23,444 I had to change schools. 410 00:16:23,478 --> 00:16:25,112 I changed everything-- 411 00:16:25,146 --> 00:16:27,448 my clothes, my hair, my personality-- 412 00:16:27,482 --> 00:16:28,682 because of you. 413 00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:30,751 What a waste. 414 00:16:30,785 --> 00:16:32,619 I wish I could take a picture of you right now 415 00:16:32,654 --> 00:16:34,254 and send it to my ten-year-old self. 416 00:16:34,289 --> 00:16:35,706 Watch it, Winger. 417 00:16:35,757 --> 00:16:37,891 You don't have a trademark on self-pity. 418 00:16:37,926 --> 00:16:40,044 - I will defend myself. - Good. 419 00:16:40,078 --> 00:16:41,495 Bring the cheddar... 420 00:16:41,529 --> 00:16:43,380 Big Cheddar. 421 00:16:43,415 --> 00:16:44,898 I'm gonna put you on the express train 422 00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:46,667 back to tinkle-town! 423 00:16:50,388 --> 00:16:54,040 [Both grunting] 424 00:16:59,097 --> 00:17:00,347 - Argh! - Uh! 425 00:17:00,382 --> 00:17:01,849 Uh! Aah! 426 00:17:01,883 --> 00:17:03,150 - Uh! - Aah! 427 00:17:03,184 --> 00:17:07,821 Both: Aah! 428 00:17:09,257 --> 00:17:12,326 Aah! 429 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,596 [Ball clattering wildly] 430 00:17:15,630 --> 00:17:16,580 - [Grunts] - Ah! 431 00:17:16,614 --> 00:17:19,283 - Die! - Never! 432 00:17:29,477 --> 00:17:31,545 Argh! 433 00:17:31,579 --> 00:17:34,381 Argh! 434 00:17:34,415 --> 00:17:35,632 Ah! 435 00:17:35,683 --> 00:17:37,083 - You get it. - No, you get it. 436 00:17:37,102 --> 00:17:38,585 You're the one that needs the advantage. 437 00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:41,054 Wrong. Wrong! 438 00:17:41,088 --> 00:17:43,524 Every game I ever won, I won fairly. 439 00:17:43,558 --> 00:17:45,793 Foosball was how I measured my value as a man. 440 00:17:45,827 --> 00:17:46,960 You took that away! 441 00:17:46,995 --> 00:17:48,228 Why do think I had to? 442 00:17:48,262 --> 00:17:49,480 You try sprouting three feet 443 00:17:49,531 --> 00:17:50,764 just when boys are about to look at you. 444 00:17:50,782 --> 00:17:52,599 Everyone stopped liking me. 445 00:17:52,634 --> 00:17:54,067 This game is all I had. 446 00:17:54,101 --> 00:17:56,102 - It's all I had. - Well, that's stupid. 447 00:17:56,121 --> 00:17:57,938 You're a perfectly fine person. 448 00:17:57,972 --> 00:18:00,073 So are you. 449 00:18:00,107 --> 00:18:02,242 Thank you. 450 00:18:02,277 --> 00:18:04,461 You're welcome. 451 00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:07,915 [Sighs] 452 00:18:07,949 --> 00:18:10,617 I'm sorry, Jeff. 453 00:18:13,154 --> 00:18:16,523 You don't have anything to be sorry for, Shirley. 454 00:18:16,558 --> 00:18:18,759 So Rick has agreed to stay out of your apartment 455 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,327 as long as you stay out of his. 456 00:18:20,361 --> 00:18:22,129 And I'm getting tired of saying this to people, 457 00:18:22,163 --> 00:18:23,330 but these things wouldn't happen 458 00:18:23,364 --> 00:18:24,965 if you'd invest in a simple shoe safe. 459 00:18:24,999 --> 00:18:26,500 That's it? 460 00:18:26,534 --> 00:18:29,469 Now we just live upstairs from this... 461 00:18:29,487 --> 00:18:31,638 Guy that's really into footwear? 462 00:18:31,673 --> 00:18:32,973 Sweetie, you're a renter. 463 00:18:33,007 --> 00:18:34,641 Look forward to owning a house. 464 00:18:34,676 --> 00:18:36,109 Be glad he's not into heads. 465 00:18:36,144 --> 00:18:37,478 Thanks for your help, officer, 466 00:18:37,512 --> 00:18:38,879 and if you should ever need me, 467 00:18:38,913 --> 00:18:41,415 I usually get out of school around 4:00. 468 00:18:41,449 --> 00:18:44,017 This guys sleeps outside your room, though, and that's okay? 469 00:18:44,052 --> 00:18:45,919 Uh... [Door closes] 470 00:18:45,954 --> 00:18:48,422 There's one thing I don't understand. 471 00:18:48,456 --> 00:18:50,757 Why would Rick deny taking my DVD? 472 00:18:50,792 --> 00:18:52,125 And why break it? 473 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,863 Well, maybe he stepped on it by accident 474 00:18:55,897 --> 00:18:59,366 and felt really, really, really bad. 475 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,901 All the more reason to confess. 476 00:19:00,935 --> 00:19:02,336 Well, not everybody's perfect, Abed. 477 00:19:02,370 --> 00:19:04,304 Batman. And I am. 478 00:19:04,339 --> 00:19:06,273 Well, Batman, 479 00:19:06,307 --> 00:19:09,109 on behalf of all of us that aren't perfect, 480 00:19:09,143 --> 00:19:12,212 can I just say I'm sorry I broke your DVD? 481 00:19:12,247 --> 00:19:14,615 Apology accepted. 482 00:19:14,649 --> 00:19:16,116 But I wouldn't mention it to Abed. 483 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:17,618 That guy's pretty ruthless. 484 00:19:17,652 --> 00:19:19,987 And that's coming from Batman. 485 00:19:21,689 --> 00:19:24,374 [Fabric whooshing] 486 00:19:24,409 --> 00:19:26,359 [Normal voice] Hey, guys. 487 00:19:26,377 --> 00:19:28,795 Abed, where have you been? 488 00:19:28,830 --> 00:19:30,063 Troy, really? 489 00:19:30,098 --> 00:19:31,064 Let it go. 490 00:19:31,099 --> 00:19:34,200 Aw, black in the house! 491 00:19:34,219 --> 00:19:36,753 - My hand is cramping. - It's fine. 492 00:19:36,804 --> 00:19:40,641 Oh. Hey, freudenkatzen. 493 00:19:40,675 --> 00:19:42,209 Ready for your schpankin'? 494 00:19:42,243 --> 00:19:44,645 Just like we practiced? 495 00:19:44,679 --> 00:19:47,397 Let's shut 'em down. 496 00:19:47,432 --> 00:19:50,067 Ha ha ha. Let's dance, David Bowie. 497 00:20:05,767 --> 00:20:07,301 Get the ball, Karl. 498 00:20:07,335 --> 00:20:09,253 I'm trying, and stop yelling at me. 499 00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:11,455 Stop being such a schvine! 500 00:20:11,506 --> 00:20:12,673 Aren't you guys playing foosball? 501 00:20:12,707 --> 00:20:14,474 We've played enough for one lifetime. 502 00:20:14,509 --> 00:20:16,176 We're gonna go see a movie. 503 00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:17,594 [Giggles] 504 00:20:20,441 --> 00:20:22,933 Since when are those two so close? 505 00:20:28,344 --> 00:20:31,844 Sync by Sp8ky corrected by susanaLC www.addic7ed.com 506 00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:36,542 Hello. This is November 29th 507 00:20:36,662 --> 00:20:38,087 and I'm Leonard, 508 00:20:38,397 --> 00:20:40,031 and today I'm reviewing. 509 00:20:40,066 --> 00:20:43,451 Eugenio's four cheese frozen pizza. 510 00:20:43,486 --> 00:20:45,937 That's $5.99 at Kroger's. 511 00:20:45,955 --> 00:20:49,974 I've tried it before, and we'll see. 512 00:20:54,146 --> 00:20:56,164 Mmm! 513 00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:59,784 Mmm, the cheese is good. 514 00:20:59,819 --> 00:21:01,469 The sauce is good too. 515 00:21:01,504 --> 00:21:04,889 Mm, well, it's definitely a buy. 516 00:21:04,924 --> 00:21:07,459 Eugenio's four cheese frozen pizza-- 517 00:21:07,493 --> 00:21:10,295 a buy. 518 00:21:10,329 --> 00:21:11,463 See you next time. 519 00:21:11,497 --> 00:21:12,931 ♪ I'm as high as hell ♪ 520 00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:14,466 ♪ and you're about to get shot ♪ 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net