1 00:00:04,259 --> 00:00:05,992 Hmm. 2 00:00:06,026 --> 00:00:07,343 Shirley, did you ever date Roger Ebert? 3 00:00:07,377 --> 00:00:09,458 - Excuse me? - Nothing. 4 00:00:09,793 --> 00:00:10,959 Britta, did you ever take pictures of your feet 5 00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:12,227 and post them on the Internet for money? 6 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,862 Sha-ha! No. 7 00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:16,331 Guys, this history final is going to be killer. 8 00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:17,783 We have to study. 9 00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:19,284 It's no fair Professor Cornwallis 10 00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,053 turned all hard-assed again. 11 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,023 Lucky Pierce. 12 00:00:22,143 --> 00:00:24,073 Donating his kidney to Gilbert to get out of it. 13 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:25,741 I never thought he'd be that generous. 14 00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,259 Although, he did seem disappointed 15 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:28,494 that the operation didn't involve 16 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,762 sleeping with a Russian woman, 17 00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:30,813 then waking up in a bathtub full of ice. 18 00:00:30,847 --> 00:00:31,897 - Hmm. - Guys! 19 00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:32,506 - Hmm? - History! 20 00:00:32,541 --> 00:00:33,644 I am studying history. 21 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:34,545 I'm studying our history. 22 00:00:34,608 --> 00:00:36,852 - Abed! - Nobody bite. 23 00:00:36,886 --> 00:00:38,353 We agreed no biting. 24 00:00:38,388 --> 00:00:39,838 But, Jeff, it's a graduation gift. 25 00:00:39,872 --> 00:00:41,473 You see, on the surface we seem like just a group of people 26 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,876 from diverse backgrounds who have become unlikely friends. 27 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:45,227 But according to my research, 28 00:00:45,261 --> 00:00:46,979 our paths have crossed many times. 29 00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:49,093 We were destined to meet. Like a team of superheroes. 30 00:00:49,099 --> 00:00:51,717 This is our origin story. 31 00:00:51,751 --> 00:00:53,975 And here...we...go. 32 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:55,704 Abed, we don't have origin stories. 33 00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:57,056 We have lives. 34 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:59,058 Well, at least-- 35 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,211 yep, just me. 36 00:01:02,245 --> 00:01:03,795 So you're saying we're all connected 37 00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,514 like the classic French film trilogy 38 00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:07,616 Bleu, Blanc, Rouge? 39 00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:08,751 No, like something more accessible. 40 00:01:08,785 --> 00:01:10,102 - Like Unbreakable. - Wow. 41 00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:11,937 Abed, I know it's disappointing to you, 42 00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:13,288 but we're not superheroes. 43 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,290 This is the real world, not some comic book adventure. 44 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,961 I've done it. I've infiltrated the school. 45 00:01:18,995 --> 00:01:20,712 I've learned its secrets. 46 00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,514 I've gained everyone's trust. 47 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,734 And now, on the anniversary of my empire's destruction, 48 00:01:25,769 --> 00:01:27,319 vengeance will be mine. 49 00:01:27,353 --> 00:01:30,172 No, vengeance will be ours. 50 00:01:30,206 --> 00:01:34,276 Okay, can you stop that? It really creeps me out. 51 00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:36,695 I'm sorry. Just really love this thing. 52 00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:38,547 Skymall. 53 00:01:41,151 --> 00:01:43,035 ♪ Give me some rope 54 00:01:43,069 --> 00:01:44,703 ♪ tie me to dream 55 00:01:44,737 --> 00:01:46,071 ♪ give me the hope 56 00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:48,006 ♪ to run out of steam 57 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:51,160 ♪ somebody said it can be here ♪ 58 00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:52,911 ♪ we could be roped up 59 00:01:52,945 --> 00:01:55,214 ♪ tied up, dead in a year ♪ 60 00:01:55,248 --> 00:02:00,335 ♪ I can't count the reasons I should stay ♪ 61 00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:02,552 ♪ one by one, they all just fade away ♪ 62 00:02:02,672 --> 00:02:06,642 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 63 00:02:06,676 --> 00:02:08,460 I've been doing exhaustive research into our lives. 64 00:02:08,478 --> 00:02:10,062 Once I find the last one or two missing pieces, 65 00:02:10,096 --> 00:02:12,397 I'll have conclusive proof that we were all destined to meet. 66 00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:14,082 This is how we're all connected. 67 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,034 I call it the crazy quilt of destiny 68 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:17,736 mainly because the loom of fate was already taken. 69 00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,037 - Really? - Look. 70 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:20,272 I don't care what tricks or nonsense you have 71 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:21,957 in your scrapbook, Martha Stewart, 72 00:02:21,991 --> 00:02:23,342 but there's no way you're gonna get me to believe 73 00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:26,395 there's some outside force controlling my destiny. 74 00:02:26,429 --> 00:02:27,779 And I think you used that particular phrasing 75 00:02:27,813 --> 00:02:29,448 because I know you've seen Star Wars. 76 00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,650 Everybody's seen Star Wars. 77 00:02:31,684 --> 00:02:33,818 Yes, but you first saw it when it was re-released in 1982 78 00:02:33,837 --> 00:02:36,254 at the Greendale Palladium at 4:15 in the afternoon. 79 00:02:36,272 --> 00:02:37,573 And it was the best time you ever had with your father. 80 00:02:37,607 --> 00:02:38,891 How did you know that? 81 00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,126 You keep this ticket stub in your wallet. 82 00:02:41,144 --> 00:02:42,928 Abed, you can't-- 83 00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:45,197 - Give it back! - Whoa! 84 00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:47,533 Our story begins in the distant mists of a lost era: 85 00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:50,185 2008. 86 00:02:52,055 --> 00:02:54,423 I know you're all wondering how I do it. 87 00:02:54,457 --> 00:02:57,993 How do I balance straight As, extracurriculars, 88 00:02:58,027 --> 00:03:00,679 and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night? 89 00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:05,834 It's a simple matter of organization, 90 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:10,439 dedication, and... 91 00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,730 And we're back! 92 00:03:18,748 --> 00:03:20,699 Then I drink your milkshake. 93 00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:24,102 Ah, that will never get old. 94 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,787 You guys gotta see my Juno. 95 00:03:25,822 --> 00:03:27,155 Hey, Troy. 96 00:03:27,190 --> 00:03:29,358 So I heard you weren't doing that great in algebra, 97 00:03:29,392 --> 00:03:32,277 and you know, if you need a tutor for math, 98 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,812 I'd be happy to help. 99 00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,130 I'm being recruited by colleges to play football. 100 00:03:35,164 --> 00:03:36,949 - Oh. - I don't have time for math. 101 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:39,318 The only thing that matters to me are statistics. 102 00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:40,602 Ooh! 103 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,688 Uh, that's also a type of math. 104 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,225 But we already knew I went to high school with Troy, 105 00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:48,377 and it's not like he even remembered I existed. 106 00:03:48,411 --> 00:03:49,828 Yeah, I don't remember her at all. 107 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,163 We should probably drop this. 108 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:52,558 Wait, where's Pierce on this chart? 109 00:03:52,582 --> 00:03:53,599 His contribution to the group 110 00:03:53,633 --> 00:03:54,816 has already been noted. 111 00:03:54,867 --> 00:03:56,068 Pierce Hawthorne. Fixture at Greendale. 112 00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:57,219 Unavoidable. 113 00:03:57,253 --> 00:03:59,170 - Hey, is that a sad face? - I wouldn't know. 114 00:03:59,188 --> 00:04:00,772 You have to look deeper. Here. Take this, for example. 115 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,124 It's a receipt I found 116 00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,442 in the back of Shirley's sock drawer on Thanksgiving. 117 00:04:03,476 --> 00:04:05,396 You went in my bedroom for some comic book thing? 118 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,846 Oh, no, my feet were cold. Ah, here. 119 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,281 - You should probably wash those. - Oh. 120 00:04:09,299 --> 00:04:10,582 Discovering the receipt was dumb luck, 121 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:11,833 but it proves that we were at the mall 122 00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:13,535 on the exact same day. 123 00:04:13,569 --> 00:04:14,786 Shirley, do remember what you bought for $54 124 00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:15,971 at the Love Hut? 125 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:18,273 What? Hmm? No. 126 00:04:18,308 --> 00:04:21,259 So excited about tonight, honey. 127 00:04:21,277 --> 00:04:22,811 Uh-huh. It's been too long 128 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:26,331 since we had adult time without the kids. 129 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:27,699 Oh! 130 00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:31,369 Well, I may have an anniversary surprise for you too. 131 00:04:31,387 --> 00:04:33,138 Well, I'm in public, but, uh... 132 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:34,273 you know you gonna get it, right? 133 00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:37,542 You gonna get it! 134 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,980 So we were at the mall on the same day. 135 00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:44,816 Unbreakable. 136 00:04:44,834 --> 00:04:46,318 Mail call. 137 00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:48,553 That's all right. Won't be needing it today. 138 00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,689 But Kevin always takes the mail. 139 00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:52,424 Well, today's mail's kind of important. 140 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,926 It's the day that I send in Greendale's lease renewal. 141 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,895 Lease re-new-al? 142 00:04:56,913 --> 00:04:58,213 It's a critical document. 143 00:04:58,247 --> 00:05:00,248 See, Greendale sublets our land from the Arapaho nation. 144 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:01,733 Ah. 145 00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:03,802 Miss a renewal and faster than you can say "wounded knee," 146 00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:07,856 we turn into a casino and midsize concert venue. 147 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,392 So you only trust me with busywork? 148 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:13,762 Oh, no, that's not-- 149 00:05:13,796 --> 00:05:16,231 Kevin, ah-- 150 00:05:16,265 --> 00:05:18,183 I cannot resist those puppy dog eyes. 151 00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:20,185 Here. 152 00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:22,287 Ah! Now, I have time to hit the seamstress. 153 00:05:26,275 --> 00:05:29,628 Guess all I have to say is "Ladies and gentlemen, 154 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:33,498 Greendale Resort and Casino presents Steve Winwood." 155 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,400 Okay, I just need to find the one last smoking gun, 156 00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,768 and I think this might be it. 157 00:05:36,803 --> 00:05:38,970 I found it in a copy of the Greendale communist worker. 158 00:05:38,988 --> 00:05:40,105 Look familiar? 159 00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:41,907 Oh, my God. 160 00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:45,377 This is me and my anarchist collective at the courthouse. 161 00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,362 We called ourselves the An-her-chists. 162 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,048 Did you guys know that Jeff's in that photo? 163 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,683 What! 164 00:05:51,701 --> 00:05:53,568 Jeff. My man. 165 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,153 Congrats on getting your case thrown out. 166 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:56,805 Your argument was a masterpiece. 167 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,757 I mean, it was definitely creative. 168 00:05:58,791 --> 00:06:00,359 Creative? 169 00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:02,344 He convinced a judge to forgive five years back taxes 170 00:06:02,378 --> 00:06:03,845 by getting him to agree 171 00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:05,947 that you humping an American flag to Back In Black 172 00:06:05,982 --> 00:06:07,149 was not stripping 173 00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:10,085 but actually not-for-profit performance art. 174 00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:11,420 Ch-chk...Boom! 175 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,721 Blew me away. 176 00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,022 Come on, let's go! 177 00:06:14,057 --> 00:06:15,123 Thank you. 178 00:06:15,158 --> 00:06:16,708 Thank you for defending a woman's right 179 00:06:16,743 --> 00:06:18,577 to use her body however she chooses. 180 00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:22,114 I can honestly say that right is very important to me. 181 00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:23,198 Aw! 182 00:06:23,232 --> 00:06:24,983 Excuse me, Mr. Winger, can we get a-- 183 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:26,017 You're a hero. Hi. 184 00:06:26,035 --> 00:06:27,002 Hi. 185 00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:28,286 Guys! 186 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,655 We have got to capitalize on this momentum. 187 00:06:30,673 --> 00:06:33,024 It is time An-her-chists finally takes a stand 188 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,709 on animals rights. 189 00:06:34,744 --> 00:06:36,845 There is a medical lab in an office building nearby. 190 00:06:36,879 --> 00:06:38,780 Next week, I say we break in there-- 191 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,749 Actually, we were thinking this is our last hurrah. 192 00:06:40,783 --> 00:06:42,534 But this was our first hurrah. 193 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,619 - We're just getting going. - Britta, we're done. 194 00:06:44,670 --> 00:06:46,004 I had a hamburger the other day, 195 00:06:46,038 --> 00:06:47,405 and suddenly I'm not cold all the time. 196 00:06:47,423 --> 00:06:51,343 Fine. Go. I don't need you. 197 00:06:51,377 --> 00:06:55,630 What's an anarchist to do without her organization? 198 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:59,618 Jeffrey, how could you? 199 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,013 Well, I was a really good lawyer. 200 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:03,588 Mysti is the stripper that Andre cheated on me with, 201 00:07:03,606 --> 00:07:05,474 and you defended her. 202 00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,258 Shirley, I-- 203 00:07:07,276 --> 00:07:08,927 If you hadn't gotten that homewrecker off, 204 00:07:08,945 --> 00:07:11,196 Andre never would've met her. 205 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,712 Jeff ends Shirley's marriage. 206 00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,934 See? I told you we were always destined to meet. 207 00:07:15,952 --> 00:07:16,868 Hmm. 208 00:07:18,646 --> 00:07:20,276 Usually Jeff went to the same rec center, 209 00:07:20,318 --> 00:07:21,674 but I had no idea their paths crossed again. 210 00:07:21,914 --> 00:07:23,114 This is good. This is really great. 211 00:07:23,149 --> 00:07:24,432 We're really filling in some plot holes here. 212 00:07:24,467 --> 00:07:25,750 This is good stuff. It's really good. 213 00:07:25,785 --> 00:07:27,001 Have I missed something? 214 00:07:27,036 --> 00:07:29,220 These aren't plot holes, Abed. This is my life. 215 00:07:29,255 --> 00:07:30,405 But this kinda connection 216 00:07:30,439 --> 00:07:31,673 only makes our origin story more compelling. 217 00:07:31,707 --> 00:07:33,091 Like how awesome it is 218 00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:34,175 when Uncle Ben is murdered in Spider-Man. 219 00:07:34,210 --> 00:07:35,593 - Hmm. - My marriage almost ended. 220 00:07:35,628 --> 00:07:36,778 If it weren't for Jeff, 221 00:07:36,812 --> 00:07:38,346 that Jezebel would've been in jail 222 00:07:38,381 --> 00:07:39,814 instead of between my Laura Ashley sheets. 223 00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:42,133 Hey, this is not my fault. 224 00:07:42,168 --> 00:07:43,318 And by the way, 225 00:07:43,352 --> 00:07:44,853 the case didn't work out too great for me either. 226 00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,705 It was supposed to make my career, 227 00:07:46,739 --> 00:07:48,356 but it put a target on my back. 228 00:07:52,211 --> 00:07:54,179 Michael Phelps, really? 229 00:07:54,213 --> 00:07:55,563 And it doesn't affect his breathing? 230 00:07:55,598 --> 00:07:57,015 Nope. 231 00:07:57,049 --> 00:07:58,767 Mysti, can I talk to Jeff for a moment? 232 00:07:58,801 --> 00:08:02,871 I will go, uh, powder my nose. 233 00:08:02,905 --> 00:08:05,423 For real. 234 00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:06,725 Listen. 235 00:08:06,759 --> 00:08:08,543 There's this rumor going around the firm 236 00:08:08,577 --> 00:08:10,829 that you never received an undergraduate degree. 237 00:08:10,863 --> 00:08:13,098 - That's ridiculous. - I know. 238 00:08:13,132 --> 00:08:16,034 I mean, some jag is obviously jealous of your rising star. 239 00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:18,169 But the fact is, until this is settled, 240 00:08:18,203 --> 00:08:20,638 the bar isn't gonna let you practice. 241 00:08:23,209 --> 00:08:25,143 So you got caught in your own lie? 242 00:08:25,177 --> 00:08:26,845 I almost lost my family. 243 00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:28,897 How does your little tragedy even compare? 244 00:08:28,931 --> 00:08:30,548 Because I had to go to school here. 245 00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:31,800 Abed, do not write that down. 246 00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:34,068 It's not like I made Andre cheat. 247 00:08:34,103 --> 00:08:36,638 Well, I happen to think it's cool that we're all connected, 248 00:08:36,672 --> 00:08:38,256 even if some of it's in bad ways. 249 00:08:38,290 --> 00:08:39,941 I mean, I'm finally willing to forgive Annie 250 00:08:39,975 --> 00:08:41,409 for ruining high school. 251 00:08:41,444 --> 00:08:43,678 Wait, I ruined your time in high school? 252 00:08:43,712 --> 00:08:46,047 Yeah, you did. 253 00:08:47,817 --> 00:08:49,751 - You guys doing keg stands? - Yeah! 254 00:08:49,785 --> 00:08:51,970 Anyone can do a keg stand. 255 00:08:52,004 --> 00:08:53,271 I'm gonna do a keg flip. 256 00:08:53,305 --> 00:08:55,173 Hey, everybody, look at this. 257 00:08:59,845 --> 00:09:01,229 Ah! 258 00:09:01,263 --> 00:09:03,131 Oh! 259 00:09:03,165 --> 00:09:05,183 Oh, my football knee! Why! 260 00:09:05,217 --> 00:09:06,184 Can I have some corn nuts? 261 00:09:06,202 --> 00:09:09,804 Wah! No! Nooooo! 262 00:09:12,091 --> 00:09:13,525 That had nothing to do with me. 263 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:15,443 And you already admitted that you faked that injury 264 00:09:15,478 --> 00:09:16,845 because you couldn't take the pressure 265 00:09:16,896 --> 00:09:18,196 of those football recruiters. 266 00:09:18,230 --> 00:09:20,548 I faked my injury because of what you said to me. 267 00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:21,966 Because of what I said? 268 00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:24,202 You didn't even remember that I went to school with you. 269 00:09:24,203 --> 00:09:26,654 I may have lied about that too. 270 00:09:29,508 --> 00:09:32,510 Hey, guys, it's time to do senior class superlatives! 271 00:09:34,997 --> 00:09:38,266 Okay, the first award is "Most Handsome." 272 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,968 And the winner is... 273 00:09:40,002 --> 00:09:43,137 - Troy Barnes. - Of course it is. 274 00:09:43,172 --> 00:09:44,389 "Most Popular." 275 00:09:44,423 --> 00:09:46,357 Troy Barnes. 276 00:09:46,391 --> 00:09:48,810 No! You guys are awesome. 277 00:09:48,844 --> 00:09:49,911 "Best Smile." 278 00:09:51,029 --> 00:09:52,614 Ha ha, gotta keep 'em white. 279 00:09:52,648 --> 00:09:56,518 "Best Moves." "Best Practical Joker." 280 00:09:56,569 --> 00:09:58,036 "Coolest Locker." 281 00:09:58,070 --> 00:10:00,054 And now, the last award of the night. 282 00:10:00,089 --> 00:10:02,557 "Most Likely to Succeed." 283 00:10:02,608 --> 00:10:04,175 Okay, this has to go to me, 284 00:10:04,193 --> 00:10:05,810 because I am most likely to succeed. 285 00:10:05,845 --> 00:10:07,478 It's just a fact. You guys know. 286 00:10:07,496 --> 00:10:10,048 And the winner is... 287 00:10:10,082 --> 00:10:11,266 Troy Barnes. 288 00:10:16,088 --> 00:10:17,839 You have got to be kidding me! 289 00:10:17,890 --> 00:10:21,442 Troy Barnes, most likely to succeed? 290 00:10:21,477 --> 00:10:24,929 I'm the damn Valedictorian and head of student council 291 00:10:24,964 --> 00:10:27,715 and president of campus crusade for Christ. 292 00:10:27,750 --> 00:10:28,866 And I'm Jewish! 293 00:10:28,884 --> 00:10:32,086 And you are just some mindless robot. 294 00:10:32,121 --> 00:10:34,622 You just go wherever they tell you to run. 295 00:10:34,657 --> 00:10:37,675 I'm sorry. 296 00:10:37,710 --> 00:10:39,794 Do you go to my school? 297 00:10:39,828 --> 00:10:42,747 Oh! 298 00:10:49,221 --> 00:10:51,556 Pop! Pop! 299 00:10:52,775 --> 00:10:54,175 Your words cut me 300 00:10:54,209 --> 00:10:56,761 more than hundreds of non-tempered glass shards could. 301 00:10:56,779 --> 00:11:00,281 I had six different reconstructive surgeries. 302 00:11:00,316 --> 00:11:01,766 I went through withdrawal. 303 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,003 I had to smile when I didn't feel like smiling. 304 00:11:05,037 --> 00:11:06,387 That hurts my face. 305 00:11:06,422 --> 00:11:08,222 Can we all just stop dredging up the past? 306 00:11:08,257 --> 00:11:10,007 The only thing your fate web thing does 307 00:11:10,025 --> 00:11:12,794 is point out how fragile our happiness is. 308 00:11:12,828 --> 00:11:15,330 If only Jeff hadn't defended that woman, 309 00:11:15,381 --> 00:11:17,181 if only Andre hadn't met her after I left the restaurant, 310 00:11:17,216 --> 00:11:19,033 if only I didn't have to pick up my kids at the mall, I-- 311 00:11:19,068 --> 00:11:20,301 Wait. 312 00:11:20,336 --> 00:11:23,087 When? Which mall? 313 00:11:24,573 --> 00:11:26,674 Oh, my God. 314 00:11:26,709 --> 00:11:28,626 Oh, my God. 315 00:11:32,164 --> 00:11:33,531 Hey, what movie you guys gonna see? 316 00:11:33,565 --> 00:11:35,900 The Phantom Menace. It's kind of old. 317 00:11:35,918 --> 00:11:37,352 And why do you wanna see it? 318 00:11:37,386 --> 00:11:38,720 Because we like Star Wars. 319 00:11:38,771 --> 00:11:40,138 Okay, if you like Star Wars, 320 00:11:40,172 --> 00:11:41,673 why do you wanna murder it and urinate on its grave? 321 00:11:41,707 --> 00:11:42,907 The prequels are terrible. 322 00:11:42,941 --> 00:11:44,242 I mean, seriously, wouldn't Chewbacca, 323 00:11:44,276 --> 00:11:46,244 at some point, go, "Hey, Yoda, I know that guy"? 324 00:11:46,278 --> 00:11:48,045 He has double light sabers. 325 00:11:48,063 --> 00:11:49,564 That's stupid. You're both stupid. 326 00:11:49,598 --> 00:11:51,666 Well, why are you here to see the movie? 327 00:11:51,700 --> 00:11:52,917 I'm not. 328 00:11:52,951 --> 00:11:54,752 I go wherever it plays to warn people. 329 00:11:54,787 --> 00:11:56,104 You've been warned. 330 00:11:59,524 --> 00:12:02,293 Stranger said what to him? 331 00:12:02,327 --> 00:12:04,862 Okay, fine. I'll come get you. 332 00:12:04,897 --> 00:12:07,148 I'm sorry, baby, I'll be back as soon as I can. 333 00:12:07,199 --> 00:12:09,951 Okay, just stand there, okay? 334 00:12:09,985 --> 00:12:12,253 This can't be. 335 00:12:12,287 --> 00:12:14,422 I don't see why I have to go to a therapist. 336 00:12:14,473 --> 00:12:16,507 Because after that woman chewed them out for three hours, 337 00:12:16,541 --> 00:12:19,060 the theater got a restraining order against you. 338 00:12:19,094 --> 00:12:20,662 Yalla. 339 00:12:22,881 --> 00:12:24,048 Hey, doc. By the way, 340 00:12:24,083 --> 00:12:26,083 someone just stole your prescription pad. 341 00:12:28,537 --> 00:12:29,887 I'm trying to liberate you! 342 00:12:29,922 --> 00:12:31,622 Ow! 343 00:12:33,726 --> 00:12:35,610 You're the crazy man at the mall! 344 00:12:35,644 --> 00:12:37,712 You're the one who got me busted for drugs! 345 00:12:37,746 --> 00:12:40,682 You were out there somewhere and you weren't looking for me? 346 00:12:40,733 --> 00:12:42,650 In fairness, Annie, 347 00:12:42,701 --> 00:12:45,061 running through a glass door might've been the drug tip-off. 348 00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:46,304 All this time, I wondered what it was 349 00:12:46,338 --> 00:12:48,639 that brought our group together. 350 00:12:48,674 --> 00:12:50,308 But I forgot one thing all heroes need. 351 00:12:50,342 --> 00:12:51,576 They need an enemy. 352 00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:52,744 Batman has the Joker, 353 00:12:52,778 --> 00:12:54,512 the Justice League has the Legion of Doom, 354 00:12:54,546 --> 00:12:57,532 and this study group... has me. 355 00:12:57,566 --> 00:12:59,950 I'm the supervillain. Why didn't I see it before? 356 00:12:59,968 --> 00:13:01,986 I'm emotionless, logical, smarter than everybody else. 357 00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,855 - Hey! - I tried sawing off 358 00:13:03,889 --> 00:13:05,406 - Jeff's arm. - Why do you keep saying that? 359 00:13:05,457 --> 00:13:07,008 I should go. It's not safe to be around me. 360 00:13:07,042 --> 00:13:08,259 I'm just as bad. 361 00:13:08,293 --> 00:13:09,761 I couldn't handle the monkey, 362 00:13:09,795 --> 00:13:11,779 so I traded it in for a glaucoma brownie, 363 00:13:11,814 --> 00:13:13,915 even though I knew if it bit someone, 364 00:13:13,949 --> 00:13:16,117 it would make them a teensy bit psychotic. 365 00:13:16,168 --> 00:13:18,186 Britta's right. 366 00:13:18,220 --> 00:13:19,937 We've all made some bad decisions. 367 00:13:19,972 --> 00:13:22,156 And if you really wanna know who the villain is here, 368 00:13:22,191 --> 00:13:24,258 it's me. 369 00:13:26,729 --> 00:13:28,879 - Ah. - Weee! 370 00:13:28,897 --> 00:13:30,448 Yeesh, I didn't think it was possible 371 00:13:30,482 --> 00:13:31,833 to put more glitter on. 372 00:13:31,867 --> 00:13:33,201 It's coming off of you like Pig-Pen. 373 00:13:33,252 --> 00:13:35,720 Well, some people seem to like it. 374 00:13:35,754 --> 00:13:38,072 This married guy just gave me his phone number. 375 00:13:38,123 --> 00:13:39,574 Can you believe his wife left him 376 00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:40,908 on their anniversary? 377 00:13:40,959 --> 00:13:42,226 You gonna call him? 378 00:13:42,261 --> 00:13:43,394 I mean, he did just win a bunch of money. 379 00:13:43,429 --> 00:13:44,695 I don't know though. 380 00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:46,291 You don't know what? You're not married. 381 00:13:46,331 --> 00:13:48,166 You gotta grab what you want in this life. 382 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,034 That's the way it works. 383 00:13:50,052 --> 00:13:52,220 Someone just took something important from me. 384 00:13:52,271 --> 00:13:53,788 And you know what? 385 00:13:53,822 --> 00:13:55,773 I admire him for it. 386 00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,825 All right, I mean, I guess I'll go talk to him. 387 00:13:57,876 --> 00:13:59,060 You do that. 388 00:13:59,094 --> 00:14:00,228 And I'm gonna go get 389 00:14:00,262 --> 00:14:01,946 "crap on other people's lawns" drunk. 390 00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:05,099 To a memorable evening for both of us. 391 00:14:08,087 --> 00:14:10,271 Maybe you coincidentally affected some of us. 392 00:14:10,305 --> 00:14:13,257 But I actively endorsed pain. 393 00:14:13,275 --> 00:14:15,643 I was the bad guy, and... 394 00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:19,247 I'd like to think I'm not that guy anymore. 395 00:14:19,281 --> 00:14:21,999 Also, and I hate to bring this up, 396 00:14:22,034 --> 00:14:23,918 you did once make me pee myself. 397 00:14:23,952 --> 00:14:27,404 Well, I guess we're even then. 398 00:14:27,422 --> 00:14:29,373 I might finish studying at home. 399 00:14:37,599 --> 00:14:38,983 Just ten minutes ago, 400 00:14:39,017 --> 00:14:41,919 I would've been so excited about that peeing thing. 401 00:14:54,387 --> 00:14:57,164 I wanted to make a prequel and I ruined everything. 402 00:14:58,169 --> 00:14:59,586 I guess it could happen to anyone. 403 00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:01,854 I should probably write George Lucas a note of apology. 404 00:15:01,889 --> 00:15:04,107 Okay, let's not get crazy. 405 00:15:04,141 --> 00:15:06,392 And you didn't ruin anything. 406 00:15:06,427 --> 00:15:08,695 May I sit here? 407 00:15:08,729 --> 00:15:10,496 Shirley, what are you doing here? 408 00:15:10,531 --> 00:15:13,683 Oh, just wanted some yogurt. 409 00:15:13,717 --> 00:15:16,703 And I do know you're not that person anymore. 410 00:15:16,737 --> 00:15:19,105 Are you sure? 'Cause I was awfully good at it. 411 00:15:19,139 --> 00:15:21,074 Well, we all do bad things every now and again. 412 00:15:21,108 --> 00:15:23,126 I mean, I put a stripper's head through a jukebox. 413 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,260 Hmm. 414 00:15:24,294 --> 00:15:26,796 What are you guys doing here? 415 00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:31,267 I guess we all really wanted yogurt. 416 00:15:31,301 --> 00:15:33,135 You know what's weird? 417 00:15:33,153 --> 00:15:35,304 This is where I first decided to go to Greendale. 418 00:15:35,339 --> 00:15:37,540 Wait, really? 419 00:15:37,558 --> 00:15:40,660 This is where I was when I first decided to go to Greendale. 420 00:15:40,694 --> 00:15:43,880 You're kidding me. 421 00:15:43,914 --> 00:15:46,215 Senor Chang, I know you're as disappointed as I am 422 00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,468 in the caliber of students we have at Greendale. 423 00:15:48,519 --> 00:15:52,038 But the mall offers a whole new valuable demographic 424 00:15:52,072 --> 00:15:54,073 of people awake during the daytime. 425 00:15:54,124 --> 00:15:55,958 All right, I'll pass flyers at Yogurtsburgh. 426 00:15:55,992 --> 00:15:57,326 Self-serve yogurt. 427 00:15:57,344 --> 00:15:59,429 Those douses already know one marketable skill. 428 00:15:59,463 --> 00:16:00,813 Okay, Ben-- 429 00:16:00,864 --> 00:16:02,315 But it still has the tags on! 430 00:16:02,366 --> 00:16:04,283 So I lost the receipt. 431 00:16:04,334 --> 00:16:05,685 It's not like I even got to wear it, 432 00:16:05,719 --> 00:16:08,221 because my husband's a tasteless man slut. 433 00:16:08,272 --> 00:16:11,791 What hey, littering! 434 00:16:16,413 --> 00:16:18,481 This better not awaken anything in me. 435 00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:28,191 God, this day... 436 00:16:28,225 --> 00:16:29,759 I thought pushing that woman's head through a jukebox 437 00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:31,527 would make me feel better, but I'm just... 438 00:16:31,529 --> 00:16:33,546 out of $54... 439 00:16:33,597 --> 00:16:34,831 and a marriage. 440 00:16:34,865 --> 00:16:37,066 Crystal Skull was aliens, 441 00:16:37,101 --> 00:16:38,951 so it's a pretty great film. 442 00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:46,576 You guys seen this? 443 00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:50,313 Guys, working the program with you has been so great. 444 00:16:50,347 --> 00:16:54,917 I feel like I'm finally ready to get my life back on track. 445 00:16:54,951 --> 00:16:56,085 Last chance. 446 00:16:56,103 --> 00:16:57,603 Just walk over there right now 447 00:16:57,638 --> 00:16:59,405 and apologize to the theater manager. 448 00:16:59,456 --> 00:17:02,175 Midichlorians. 449 00:17:02,209 --> 00:17:03,493 Midichlorians! 450 00:17:03,527 --> 00:17:04,644 Fine. 451 00:17:04,695 --> 00:17:06,529 Then you're not going to film school! 452 00:17:08,398 --> 00:17:10,800 Hi! Do you have any vegan froyo? 453 00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:12,652 Do you even know what froyo is? 454 00:17:12,686 --> 00:17:15,121 Fine. Do you have a job application? 455 00:17:15,155 --> 00:17:16,522 Hey. 456 00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:19,175 That weird guy hasn't blinked once. 457 00:17:19,193 --> 00:17:22,111 Oh, yeah. 458 00:17:22,129 --> 00:17:24,246 What a dweeb. 459 00:17:24,264 --> 00:17:25,448 Yeah, what a dweeb. 460 00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:28,050 Oh, nice shot, man! 461 00:17:30,454 --> 00:17:31,821 Hey, do you work at Greendale? 462 00:17:31,855 --> 00:17:33,406 Work? That's putting it charitably. 463 00:17:33,457 --> 00:17:35,624 Greendale community college is a total joke. 464 00:17:35,642 --> 00:17:38,361 They'd give a degree to a monkey. 465 00:17:38,395 --> 00:17:42,532 Hey, does Ian Duncan still teach psychology at Greendale? 466 00:17:42,566 --> 00:17:44,016 - That drunken limey? - That's the one. 467 00:17:44,051 --> 00:17:45,485 He's got tenure. 468 00:17:45,519 --> 00:17:47,639 Maybe getting my degree won't be as hard as I thought. 469 00:17:49,807 --> 00:17:52,275 Sir, what are you doing? 470 00:17:52,309 --> 00:17:54,143 Can we get some help out here? 471 00:17:54,161 --> 00:17:56,521 Some old guy broke the machine and is faking a heart attack. 472 00:18:00,601 --> 00:18:01,868 Oh, wait. 473 00:18:01,902 --> 00:18:03,736 Ah, stupid. 474 00:18:13,297 --> 00:18:14,764 Cool, cool, cool. 475 00:18:14,798 --> 00:18:17,583 Wait, so was that old guy really Pierce? 476 00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:20,369 We'll never know, because he'll never ever remember. 477 00:18:20,387 --> 00:18:22,388 What are the chances of all of us 478 00:18:22,439 --> 00:18:25,474 ending up at the same place at the same time twice? 479 00:18:25,492 --> 00:18:26,792 Abed, it's amazing. 480 00:18:26,827 --> 00:18:28,294 I mean, yes, 2008 was the height 481 00:18:28,345 --> 00:18:30,947 of the slightly sour frozen yogurt craze, but... 482 00:18:30,981 --> 00:18:32,848 that still doesn't explain it. 483 00:18:32,866 --> 00:18:35,451 Maybe we really were all meant to be together. 484 00:18:35,485 --> 00:18:40,289 I'm not sure I understand it, but maybe we don't have to. 485 00:18:40,324 --> 00:18:43,292 What I do know is that the ways our paths crossed, 486 00:18:43,327 --> 00:18:47,830 even when they were bad, all led us to this point. 487 00:18:47,865 --> 00:18:50,383 And I wouldn't have it any other way. 488 00:18:50,417 --> 00:18:51,918 So what you're saying 489 00:18:51,952 --> 00:18:53,535 is that we're all each other's Uncle Ben's murder. 490 00:18:53,554 --> 00:18:55,555 And we're all Spider-Men. 491 00:18:55,606 --> 00:18:57,607 Yeah. 492 00:18:57,641 --> 00:18:58,941 Let's say I'm saying that. 493 00:18:58,976 --> 00:19:02,128 Mm, I think we know whose will this really is. 494 00:19:02,179 --> 00:19:04,764 Yeah, I think I do. 495 00:19:04,815 --> 00:19:06,232 I'll be right back. 496 00:19:11,572 --> 00:19:13,673 Hello? 497 00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,444 Hey, Abed. 498 00:19:18,478 --> 00:19:21,264 Just doing some Pilates. 499 00:19:21,298 --> 00:19:23,003 - I was looking for you. - Wha--I-- 500 00:19:23,123 --> 00:19:25,952 We discovered you're the reason we all went to Greendale. 501 00:19:25,986 --> 00:19:27,603 You linked all of our stories. 502 00:19:27,638 --> 00:19:29,518 Like how the Cosmic Cube assembled the Avengers. 503 00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:31,739 That, and the 4-billion-dollar deal with Disney. 504 00:19:31,859 --> 00:19:34,310 Turns out you were always one of us. 505 00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:37,546 So I came to see if you wanted to get some frozen yogurt. 506 00:19:37,581 --> 00:19:39,192 Really? 507 00:19:39,438 --> 00:19:42,078 That's-- 508 00:19:42,198 --> 00:19:45,732 that's all I ever wanted. 509 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,545 But it's too late. 510 00:19:47,982 --> 00:19:49,537 Here's another thing I realized. 511 00:19:49,837 --> 00:19:52,761 Because of you we got to reinvent ourselves at Greendale. 512 00:19:52,881 --> 00:19:55,181 Everyone should have the same chance, don't you think... 513 00:19:55,215 --> 00:19:57,216 - Chang? - It's not Chang. 514 00:19:57,267 --> 00:20:01,070 It's Kevin. 515 00:20:01,104 --> 00:20:03,639 How long have you known? 516 00:20:03,674 --> 00:20:05,083 Known what? 517 00:20:05,356 --> 00:20:08,544 Only you know who you really are. 518 00:20:08,578 --> 00:20:11,397 Also, you may have experimental monkey fever. 519 00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:13,032 You coming? 520 00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:18,533 Yeah. 521 00:20:22,779 --> 00:20:24,497 Actually, can we stop at the post office first? 522 00:20:24,531 --> 00:20:25,948 I have something to mail for the Dean. 523 00:20:25,999 --> 00:20:27,733 It's confidential and I don't wanna talk about it, 524 00:20:27,751 --> 00:20:29,252 so stop interrogating me. 525 00:20:32,780 --> 00:20:33,911 I'm out. 526 00:20:34,151 --> 00:20:37,804 You're too in to be out. 527 00:20:41,066 --> 00:20:42,567 - Hey! - Hi! 528 00:20:42,601 --> 00:20:44,485 You want some refills? On me, huh? 529 00:20:44,519 --> 00:20:45,820 Refills? You want some? 530 00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:46,870 _ 531 00:20:46,990 --> 00:20:48,125 _ 532 00:20:49,067 --> 00:20:51,140 Time for plan "B". 533 00:21:02,823 --> 00:21:09,660 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net