1 00:00:01,873 --> 00:00:03,440 I am the system. 2 00:00:03,491 --> 00:00:04,908 I consume humanity. 3 00:00:04,942 --> 00:00:06,446 There is no escape. 4 00:00:06,481 --> 00:00:07,925 Objection! 5 00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:10,950 * Jeff Winger, hero at law * 6 00:00:10,985 --> 00:00:13,309 * Best lawyer you ever saw * 7 00:00:13,344 --> 00:00:15,657 * Hero to freedom, defender of liberty * 8 00:00:15,692 --> 00:00:17,560 * South of the forty on Lincoln * 9 00:00:17,595 --> 00:00:19,444 * You park for free! Jeff * 10 00:00:19,507 --> 00:00:20,507 Are you a good person 11 00:00:20,541 --> 00:00:22,625 being sued, oppressed, or beaten? 12 00:00:22,676 --> 00:00:23,810 I can help, 13 00:00:23,844 --> 00:00:26,446 and that's the Winger guarantee. 14 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,466 Call 555-her... 15 00:00:29,517 --> 00:00:32,051 Maybe you should've spent less money on special effect. 16 00:00:32,069 --> 00:00:35,038 Huh, thanks a lot, Francis Ford repo man. 17 00:00:40,411 --> 00:00:43,413 Ohh, Jeff Winger! 18 00:00:43,447 --> 00:00:45,715 ♪ Loser at law ♪ 19 00:00:45,750 --> 00:00:48,952 ♪ Rented office in a mini mall ♪ 20 00:00:48,986 --> 00:00:51,955 Relax, tango. I come in peace. 21 00:00:52,006 --> 00:00:53,673 Way I see it, I screwed you. 22 00:00:53,691 --> 00:00:55,208 I got screwed back. 23 00:00:55,242 --> 00:00:56,493 Now we can bygone the bygones, 24 00:00:56,527 --> 00:00:59,162 because I got a juicy new client and a bone to throw you. 25 00:00:59,196 --> 00:01:01,147 You hear about that bridge that collapsed upstate? 26 00:01:01,182 --> 00:01:03,149 A human could've said that without salivating. 27 00:01:03,184 --> 00:01:05,752 I represent Marvin Humphries, the engineer who designed it. 28 00:01:05,786 --> 00:01:07,637 He wants to seek damages. 29 00:01:07,688 --> 00:01:09,189 From what? His own pencil? 30 00:01:09,223 --> 00:01:12,926 From the only school reckless enough to give him a degree in engineering. 31 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,727 City-funded school, 32 00:01:14,762 --> 00:01:16,479 deep government pockets. 33 00:01:16,514 --> 00:01:18,231 Maybe you've heard of it. 34 00:01:18,265 --> 00:01:20,767 Greendale Community College. 35 00:01:20,801 --> 00:01:23,520 Weird choice, by the way, the bachelor's degree on the wall. 36 00:01:23,571 --> 00:01:26,639 So you're gonna sue my old school and you're bothering to tell me? 37 00:01:26,674 --> 00:01:27,841 You have access there. 38 00:01:27,875 --> 00:01:31,478 I need Marvin's records to prove that he was irresponsibly educated. 39 00:01:31,512 --> 00:01:32,812 Well, why don't you just subpoena? 40 00:01:32,846 --> 00:01:35,949 Right, so they can have a shredding party. 41 00:01:35,983 --> 00:01:38,551 See, that's the difference between you and Greendale, Alan. 42 00:01:38,569 --> 00:01:40,069 They wouldn't shred evidence. 43 00:01:40,104 --> 00:01:41,855 It's a good place for good people. 44 00:01:41,889 --> 00:01:43,590 It's a diploma mill. 45 00:01:43,624 --> 00:01:45,558 It turns idiots into bridge-collapsers 46 00:01:45,593 --> 00:01:47,360 and Jeff Winger into an attorney 47 00:01:47,394 --> 00:01:51,965 that thought he could help people? 48 00:01:51,999 --> 00:01:54,884 Jeff, I once saw you convince an arson victim 49 00:01:54,919 --> 00:01:57,036 that he liked his house better burned. 50 00:01:58,539 --> 00:02:01,157 God, look what that school did to you. 51 00:02:01,192 --> 00:02:03,593 It took all your money. It took four years of your life. 52 00:02:03,627 --> 00:02:04,828 And worst of all, 53 00:02:04,862 --> 00:02:06,379 it took your Winger moves. 54 00:02:06,413 --> 00:02:08,114 I still got my Winger moves. 55 00:02:08,149 --> 00:02:10,233 Prove it. Get me Humphries' records. 56 00:02:10,284 --> 00:02:12,068 Because the next bone you get thrown 57 00:02:12,102 --> 00:02:14,420 might be through a dude's zipper in the warehouse district, 58 00:02:14,455 --> 00:02:17,323 and I can't guarantee you it'll be from me. 59 00:02:17,358 --> 00:02:19,542 Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless, 60 00:02:19,577 --> 00:02:21,644 but I still got one thing deep down inside 61 00:02:21,679 --> 00:02:23,680 that gives me power... That was it. 62 00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:24,881 That was all I had. 63 00:02:25,415 --> 00:02:27,200 * Give me some rope * 64 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:28,902 * Tie me to dream * 65 00:02:28,936 --> 00:02:30,253 * Give me the hope * 66 00:02:30,304 --> 00:02:31,771 * To run out of steam * 67 00:02:31,805 --> 00:02:35,275 * Somebody said it can be here * 68 00:02:35,309 --> 00:02:39,179 * We could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year * 69 00:02:39,213 --> 00:02:43,588 * I can't count the reasons I should stay * 70 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:48,167 * One by one, they all just fade away * 71 00:02:48,322 --> 00:02:49,508 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com 72 00:02:49,723 --> 00:02:51,908 Welcome back, human beings. 73 00:02:51,942 --> 00:02:55,211 Dean Pelton here, wishing you another magic year at Greendale, 74 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,897 ranked America's number two community college 75 00:02:57,932 --> 00:03:00,450 by GreendaleCommunityCollege.Com. 76 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:04,837 Regarding the recent tragedy surrounding a certain collapsed bridge, 77 00:03:04,871 --> 00:03:07,407 we will be observing a moment of silence on the quad 78 00:03:07,441 --> 00:03:10,960 followed by four years of silence to the press. 79 00:03:10,995 --> 00:03:12,262 I told you you'd be back. 80 00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:13,630 Shut up, Leonard. I'm not here. 81 00:03:13,681 --> 00:03:15,648 I'm just a figment of your creeping dementia. 82 00:03:23,423 --> 00:03:25,258 Hi. 83 00:03:25,276 --> 00:03:26,993 How would I go about getting records 84 00:03:27,027 --> 00:03:28,378 for certain alumni? 85 00:03:28,412 --> 00:03:29,596 Why would you think a stranger 86 00:03:29,630 --> 00:03:31,014 could just walk in here and do that? 87 00:03:31,048 --> 00:03:34,000 - You're, uh, Rita. - Rhonda. 88 00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:35,535 I've always regretted not telling you 89 00:03:35,569 --> 00:03:39,472 how much you remind me of my aunt. 90 00:03:41,125 --> 00:03:43,743 It's more disarming than it sounds. 91 00:03:43,777 --> 00:03:46,896 I have a very attractive aunt. 92 00:03:46,931 --> 00:03:48,431 Rhonda, why are you wearing Jeff Winger's... 93 00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,084 Jeffrey. 94 00:03:51,118 --> 00:03:52,585 Are you, uh, looking for your friends? 95 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,670 They don't go here anymore. 96 00:03:53,704 --> 00:03:54,938 Maybe you're looking for something 97 00:03:54,972 --> 00:03:57,140 that was in front of you the whole time just a pitch. 98 00:03:57,191 --> 00:03:59,058 He's asking for records 99 00:03:59,093 --> 00:04:00,426 for a certain alumni. 100 00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:04,714 In the midst of all this Marvin Humphries business, 101 00:04:04,765 --> 00:04:07,633 I doubt this is a coincidence. 102 00:04:07,651 --> 00:04:09,369 You're here to save me, aren't you? 103 00:04:09,403 --> 00:04:11,254 - Yes. - Oh. 104 00:04:11,288 --> 00:04:13,122 I thought I might contact alumni 105 00:04:13,157 --> 00:04:14,641 to form a committee... 106 00:04:14,675 --> 00:04:16,339 The Save Greendale Committee. 107 00:04:16,374 --> 00:04:18,745 - Working title. - Jeffrey, I'm gonna cry. 108 00:04:18,779 --> 00:04:21,147 - Please don't. - Request denied. 109 00:04:21,165 --> 00:04:22,882 Mmm. 110 00:04:22,916 --> 00:04:25,318 Rhonda will let you in the records room. 111 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,270 It's actually your old study room. 112 00:04:27,321 --> 00:04:28,671 After you and your friends left, 113 00:04:28,706 --> 00:04:31,374 it was closed for sentimental reasons. 114 00:04:31,425 --> 00:04:34,744 And asbestos reasons, but it's clean as a whistle now. 115 00:04:39,416 --> 00:04:41,951 "Harassment Reports," "Hazardous Waste Citations," 116 00:04:42,002 --> 00:04:43,993 "Herpes Comma Water Fountains." 117 00:04:44,028 --> 00:04:46,072 Come on. Where's Humphries? 118 00:04:46,106 --> 00:04:47,139 I see your value now. 119 00:04:47,157 --> 00:04:48,992 - Abed, why? - "I see your value now." 120 00:04:49,043 --> 00:04:50,743 It's a callback to when we met first season. 121 00:04:50,777 --> 00:04:52,011 And me calling years "seasons" is a callback 122 00:04:52,045 --> 00:04:53,546 to my first season dialogue, and me calling... 123 00:04:53,564 --> 00:04:56,382 Abed, I know what makes you off-putting, but why are you here? 124 00:04:56,417 --> 00:04:58,034 The Dean called me about the Save Greendale Committee. 125 00:04:58,085 --> 00:04:59,886 - Can I join? - Well, I... 126 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,271 - Oh, no. Who else did he call? - Just me. I called everyone else. 127 00:05:03,677 --> 00:05:05,262 Jeffrey! 128 00:05:07,127 --> 00:05:08,294 Jeff! 129 00:05:09,596 --> 00:05:12,081 - Is that cool? - It's the coolest. 130 00:05:12,116 --> 00:05:14,367 Jeff, if you wanted to save Greendale, 131 00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:15,952 why didn't you call us first? 132 00:05:15,986 --> 00:05:18,338 Well, you guys just got sprung from this joint, 133 00:05:18,372 --> 00:05:20,440 and I figured you had careers to get started. 134 00:05:20,474 --> 00:05:22,191 - Yeah, working hard. - Ah, yes. 135 00:05:25,763 --> 00:05:27,296 What have they done to our home? 136 00:05:27,348 --> 00:05:28,765 The table's buried. 137 00:05:31,118 --> 00:05:32,702 I got it. 138 00:05:32,736 --> 00:05:34,454 This is where we became a family. 139 00:05:34,488 --> 00:05:36,205 Jeff made us a family. 140 00:05:36,256 --> 00:05:37,540 Hmm. 141 00:05:37,574 --> 00:05:39,459 We could repilot it. 142 00:05:39,493 --> 00:05:41,110 This could be like Scrubs season nine, 143 00:05:41,145 --> 00:05:42,445 a revamp, a do-over. 144 00:05:42,479 --> 00:05:43,996 Jeff could come back to Greendale as a teacher. 145 00:05:44,031 --> 00:05:46,182 I'm not gonna be a teacher, Abed. That's lame. 146 00:05:46,216 --> 00:05:47,333 Come on. 147 00:05:47,351 --> 00:05:51,104 Sit in your chair. Complete the table. 148 00:05:51,138 --> 00:05:52,989 We want to help you save Greendale. 149 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,040 Yeah! 150 00:05:54,074 --> 00:05:56,742 Greendale! Greendale! Greendale! 151 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:57,877 I got to go to the bathroom. 152 00:05:59,146 --> 00:06:01,948 Mm, give him space. Repiloting can be intense. 153 00:06:01,982 --> 00:06:03,082 New people show up. 154 00:06:03,117 --> 00:06:04,700 Regulars shift roles or even fall away. 155 00:06:04,752 --> 00:06:07,286 Season nine of Scrubs, Zach Braff was only in the first six episodes. 156 00:06:07,321 --> 00:06:08,755 That son of a bitch. 157 00:06:08,789 --> 00:06:11,574 After everything scrubs did for him? 158 00:06:11,608 --> 00:06:12,875 I'm sorry. 159 00:06:14,161 --> 00:06:16,279 Vision boarding. 160 00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:18,881 Okay, vision boarding! Oh, hi, Jeffrey. 161 00:06:18,916 --> 00:06:20,499 Dean, I have to warn you about something, 162 00:06:20,517 --> 00:06:22,001 because it's the right thing to do. 163 00:06:22,019 --> 00:06:24,720 But first, why is there a big empty box on your desk 164 00:06:24,755 --> 00:06:26,239 that says "Humphries" on it? 165 00:06:29,877 --> 00:06:32,011 Okay, the press has been calling about Humphries, 166 00:06:32,045 --> 00:06:34,363 and I didn't want any details about his enrollment here 167 00:06:34,398 --> 00:06:36,232 to be spun against us, 168 00:06:36,283 --> 00:06:37,867 so now there are no details. 169 00:06:37,901 --> 00:06:41,320 Oh, ooh. That was his thesis. 170 00:06:42,389 --> 00:06:44,757 Okay! So sue me! 171 00:06:44,791 --> 00:06:46,309 This ain't Harvard, Jeffrey. 172 00:06:46,343 --> 00:06:48,094 Okay, my job is 173 00:06:48,128 --> 00:06:50,629 to give a certain number of degrees per year, 174 00:06:50,647 --> 00:06:52,448 or we could get shut down. 175 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,283 And that would be bad because... 176 00:06:54,318 --> 00:06:56,502 Ah, because then I wouldn't have a job. 177 00:06:56,537 --> 00:06:59,672 And, you know, Greendale is a good place for good people. 178 00:06:59,706 --> 00:07:01,090 That whole spiel, huh? 179 00:07:01,141 --> 00:07:02,708 Yeah. 180 00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,977 That whole spiel. 181 00:07:08,432 --> 00:07:11,267 Wingblade. Shock me by impressing me. 182 00:07:11,318 --> 00:07:13,719 - He shredded Humphries. - What? 183 00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:16,239 I told you! How could you let this happen? 184 00:07:16,273 --> 00:07:19,108 Sir, I have to ask you to leave the concierge desk. 185 00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,745 Jeff, this case was all I had. 186 00:07:22,779 --> 00:07:24,280 I am screwed! 187 00:07:24,331 --> 00:07:26,582 My wife left. My girlfriend dumped me. 188 00:07:26,617 --> 00:07:28,668 And they're sisters, so now the whole family's pissed. 189 00:07:28,702 --> 00:07:31,587 Shut up. Bring me all the paperwork for filing a class action. 190 00:07:31,622 --> 00:07:34,624 Letters of intent, engagement, everything. Multiple copies. 191 00:07:34,675 --> 00:07:37,176 Winger, you just lost our client! 192 00:07:37,211 --> 00:07:40,213 Yeah. But I can create five new ones. 193 00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:42,715 It's so dusty. Let's get this off the table. 194 00:07:42,749 --> 00:07:45,253 And that's the Winger guarantee. 195 00:07:47,991 --> 00:07:51,345 Okay, maybe we should bring strong fundraising ideas... 196 00:07:51,380 --> 00:07:53,326 - That aren't bake sales... - Hey. 197 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,827 Or opening a zoo where the humans are in cages 198 00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:55,911 and the animals come to visit. 199 00:07:55,929 --> 00:07:57,346 G'oh! 200 00:07:57,380 --> 00:07:59,682 Are you okay, Jeff? You left kind of freaked out. 201 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,952 Well... 202 00:08:02,986 --> 00:08:05,288 I can't stop thinking this school might be in trouble 203 00:08:05,322 --> 00:08:06,989 because of this bridge-collapsing guy. 204 00:08:07,024 --> 00:08:08,491 He's the one making bad bridges. 205 00:08:08,525 --> 00:08:11,844 That's like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies. 206 00:08:11,895 --> 00:08:14,947 Sometimes a student will claim, in court, 207 00:08:14,998 --> 00:08:17,750 that their school ruined their life, 208 00:08:17,784 --> 00:08:19,402 and they'll win. 209 00:08:19,436 --> 00:08:21,003 You want to save Greendale? 210 00:08:21,038 --> 00:08:23,172 - Make it litigation-proof. - How? 211 00:08:23,207 --> 00:08:25,308 Think like the enemy. 212 00:08:25,342 --> 00:08:27,059 How did Greendale damage you, Annie? 213 00:08:27,094 --> 00:08:29,562 It didn't. I love hospital administration. 214 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,615 - Is that your job? - Well...not yet. 215 00:08:32,649 --> 00:08:36,836 But I administer things to hospitals, 216 00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:38,153 like these. 217 00:08:38,172 --> 00:08:39,889 Pen? 218 00:08:39,923 --> 00:08:41,207 "Futurza"? 219 00:08:41,241 --> 00:08:42,842 They're a rising star in pharmaceuticals. 220 00:08:42,876 --> 00:08:44,443 They invented fibromyalgia 221 00:08:44,495 --> 00:08:46,429 and the cure for fibromyalgia. 222 00:08:46,463 --> 00:08:48,347 You push drugs now? That's ironic. 223 00:08:48,398 --> 00:08:50,066 I push pens, Britta. 224 00:08:50,100 --> 00:08:51,784 Speaking of irony, how's the therapy market? 225 00:08:51,818 --> 00:08:53,886 - Depressed? - I'm on sabbatical. 226 00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:54,954 You're jewish? 227 00:08:54,988 --> 00:08:58,357 I'm doing hands-on research about the psychology of alcoholism. 228 00:08:58,392 --> 00:08:59,992 You're a bartender, aren't you? 229 00:09:00,043 --> 00:09:02,078 Which is basically like a modern-day therapist. 230 00:09:02,112 --> 00:09:03,563 If somebody tells me about a murder, 231 00:09:03,597 --> 00:09:04,880 I can't tell anyone. 232 00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:06,382 Wow, you're even bad at bartending. 233 00:09:06,416 --> 00:09:07,833 What about you? 234 00:09:07,868 --> 00:09:10,386 Abed's working on the next billion-dollar social media app. 235 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:13,489 And when it takes off, all I got to do is sue him. 236 00:09:13,524 --> 00:09:14,874 It's fool-proof. 237 00:09:14,908 --> 00:09:16,309 You're programming now, Abed? 238 00:09:16,343 --> 00:09:18,811 Didn't get any work with your four-year film degree? 239 00:09:18,862 --> 00:09:20,246 One job, directing a commercial. 240 00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,515 - Still haven't been paid. - I'll cut you a check tomorrow, 241 00:09:22,549 --> 00:09:24,400 but just so we're clear, you quit. 242 00:09:24,434 --> 00:09:25,668 Creative differences. 243 00:09:25,702 --> 00:09:27,570 I asked you to put the phone number on the screen. 244 00:09:27,604 --> 00:09:29,722 I didn't like the number. 555? It's derivative. 245 00:09:29,756 --> 00:09:30,973 It's the number of my business. 246 00:09:31,008 --> 00:09:33,392 It sounds fake. How can every number start with 555? 247 00:09:33,427 --> 00:09:34,493 Are there only 10,000 numbers? 248 00:09:34,528 --> 00:09:36,078 Abed, you quit? 249 00:09:36,113 --> 00:09:37,346 You said you got fired. 250 00:09:37,381 --> 00:09:39,282 You haven't paid the rent of our apartment in two months. 251 00:09:39,316 --> 00:09:42,034 Well, why don't you sell him a pill that will help him give up on his dreams? 252 00:09:42,069 --> 00:09:44,253 Relaxabrex doesn't make you give up on your dreams. 253 00:09:44,288 --> 00:09:45,471 That's a side effect. 254 00:09:45,505 --> 00:09:47,723 At least the drugs I sell don't get slurped 255 00:09:47,758 --> 00:09:48,891 out of my belly button. 256 00:09:48,909 --> 00:09:50,326 That's only on Tummy Tuesdays! 257 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,211 - Oh, it's okay... - Oh, I'm sorry... 258 00:09:52,246 --> 00:09:54,547 Andre left again. 259 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,901 It's... It's not like last time. 260 00:09:58,935 --> 00:10:00,536 He's staying with family. 261 00:10:00,571 --> 00:10:02,939 He took the boys. He took the dog. 262 00:10:02,973 --> 00:10:04,257 He took the D.V.R. 263 00:10:04,308 --> 00:10:08,110 166 episodes of Bones just gone. 264 00:10:08,145 --> 00:10:10,796 It was my fault this time. 265 00:10:10,831 --> 00:10:13,115 I cheated on him 266 00:10:13,150 --> 00:10:14,934 with Shirley's Sandwiches. 267 00:10:14,985 --> 00:10:19,872 I threw the money into expanding. I just didn't think I could fail. 268 00:10:23,093 --> 00:10:25,127 Okay. 269 00:10:25,162 --> 00:10:27,179 Well, just so you know, 270 00:10:27,214 --> 00:10:29,915 this is the sort of stuff that someone could use 271 00:10:29,950 --> 00:10:32,184 to make a claim against a school. 272 00:10:38,141 --> 00:10:41,343 I have to go to the bathroom again. 273 00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:42,778 While I'm gone, 274 00:10:42,813 --> 00:10:45,047 I want you to think about what I said 275 00:10:45,082 --> 00:10:46,666 as an exercise. 276 00:10:49,553 --> 00:10:53,406 Do you guys feel weird about doing this without... 277 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,724 Magnitude? 278 00:11:00,697 --> 00:11:02,632 That's everything you asked for. 279 00:11:02,666 --> 00:11:04,083 Who are you flipping? 280 00:11:04,134 --> 00:11:05,834 My friends, 281 00:11:05,852 --> 00:11:08,070 who are now the Save Greendale Committee, 282 00:11:08,104 --> 00:11:09,322 which I created. 283 00:11:09,373 --> 00:11:10,506 Ohh. 284 00:11:10,540 --> 00:11:11,807 Classic Winger. 285 00:11:11,842 --> 00:11:14,644 I forgot what it was like to be good at being bad. 286 00:11:14,678 --> 00:11:17,146 So just close the deal and bring it home to daddy, eh? 287 00:11:17,180 --> 00:11:18,748 Oh, sorry, Alan. Change of daddies. 288 00:11:18,782 --> 00:11:20,082 I'll take it from here. 289 00:11:20,116 --> 00:11:21,384 No, no, but it's my case. 290 00:11:21,418 --> 00:11:22,885 Humphries was your case. 291 00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:24,954 Jeff... 292 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,572 - You're scaring me. - Good. 293 00:11:26,623 --> 00:11:28,374 Guys like you should be more scared. 294 00:11:28,425 --> 00:11:31,811 You trust-funded, body-sprayed, Eli-Roth-DVD owner... 295 00:11:31,845 --> 00:11:33,696 You're an amateur monster, Alan, 296 00:11:33,730 --> 00:11:35,614 and you stomp in the grave of a real monster 297 00:11:35,649 --> 00:11:37,216 who was willing to stay buried 298 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:39,552 because real monsters have shame, 299 00:11:39,586 --> 00:11:41,387 because they wish that... 300 00:11:41,421 --> 00:11:42,521 You're not worth the monologue. 301 00:11:42,572 --> 00:11:44,056 - Give me your tie. - What? 302 00:11:44,091 --> 00:11:47,460 No monologue for you. Give me your tie. 303 00:11:47,511 --> 00:11:49,512 That's for making me go to this school. 304 00:11:49,546 --> 00:11:51,814 That's for making the last four years happen. 305 00:11:51,848 --> 00:11:53,616 And now I get to make them un-happen 306 00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:56,669 for me and the only people I care about. 307 00:12:00,474 --> 00:12:03,592 I failed my husband. I failed my kids. 308 00:12:03,627 --> 00:12:05,161 I've failed Bones. 309 00:12:05,195 --> 00:12:08,848 I'm helping to hook a whole new batch of little Annies on Adderall. 310 00:12:08,882 --> 00:12:10,549 I've been spending so much time with computers, 311 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,201 your tears are just ones and zeroes to me. 312 00:12:12,235 --> 00:12:14,870 Yeah, you were a real Hallmark card before. 313 00:12:14,905 --> 00:12:17,406 I'm much sadder than the rest of you. 314 00:12:18,492 --> 00:12:20,326 I will figure out why later. 315 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,378 Jeff, full disclosure... 316 00:12:23,397 --> 00:12:26,248 Our lives are worse than the day we got here. 317 00:12:26,283 --> 00:12:28,234 Well, that is a serious allegation 318 00:12:28,268 --> 00:12:30,186 to arrive at all by yourselves. 319 00:12:30,220 --> 00:12:32,004 - Are you sure? - Yes. 320 00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:34,256 And we've come to a decision as a group, 321 00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:37,710 and please don't judge us for suggesting it. 322 00:12:37,744 --> 00:12:39,462 Hey, I'll back you up no matter what. 323 00:12:39,496 --> 00:12:40,946 We decided to re-enroll at Greendale. 324 00:12:40,981 --> 00:12:42,498 What? Are you nuts? 325 00:12:42,516 --> 00:12:44,467 Greendale! Greendale! 326 00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:45,901 Greendale! Greendale! 327 00:12:45,935 --> 00:12:46,935 You guys want to keep it down? 328 00:12:49,206 --> 00:12:50,756 - Chang? - Kevin? 329 00:12:53,093 --> 00:12:55,311 Chang. I've dropped the amnesia thing, 330 00:12:55,345 --> 00:12:57,062 copped to my crimes, and went to jail. 331 00:12:57,114 --> 00:12:58,364 Now I'm on work release. 332 00:12:58,398 --> 00:12:59,815 - Working as what? - Math teacher. 333 00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:01,150 Next, explain the pajamas. 334 00:13:01,168 --> 00:13:02,585 Well, I'm on work release from house arrest, 335 00:13:02,619 --> 00:13:03,753 but I don't have a home. 336 00:13:03,787 --> 00:13:05,087 See this? 337 00:13:05,121 --> 00:13:07,606 This won't let me travel 100 yards from this, 338 00:13:07,641 --> 00:13:09,892 and this only has a 30-yard cord, 339 00:13:09,926 --> 00:13:12,361 so I can only travel... 340 00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:13,612 Whatever. You do the math. 341 00:13:13,663 --> 00:13:17,199 - You said you teach math. - Exactly. I teach it. You do it. 342 00:13:19,369 --> 00:13:22,471 Chang was faking his Changnesia? 343 00:13:22,506 --> 00:13:24,490 They seriously rehired a teacher 344 00:13:24,524 --> 00:13:26,692 they fired for trying to burn down the school? 345 00:13:26,743 --> 00:13:28,777 After being rehired as a security guard 346 00:13:28,795 --> 00:13:30,880 after being fired for impersonating a teacher. 347 00:13:30,914 --> 00:13:32,515 That's insane, and I'm Abed. 348 00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:34,183 Worse than insane. Irresponsible. 349 00:13:34,217 --> 00:13:36,519 - Evil. - I don't believe in evil. 350 00:13:36,553 --> 00:13:39,438 But this school clearly got a finger up its butt as a child. 351 00:13:39,489 --> 00:13:41,190 This place ruins lives. 352 00:13:41,224 --> 00:13:42,825 If that were true, 353 00:13:42,859 --> 00:13:48,197 then what could we possibly do about it? 354 00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:54,970 Make 'em dance, Winger. 355 00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:58,691 Ew, Jeff, what's your evil old legal Nemesis doing here? 356 00:13:58,725 --> 00:14:00,693 Nemesis? 357 00:14:00,727 --> 00:14:02,544 No, we were partners again 358 00:14:02,562 --> 00:14:04,997 until I lost my usefulness. 359 00:14:05,031 --> 00:14:07,149 I may be evil, 360 00:14:07,184 --> 00:14:10,936 but your friend here is so much more dangerous. 361 00:14:10,987 --> 00:14:12,738 Tell 'em how it took you 30 minutes 362 00:14:12,772 --> 00:14:15,624 to make them think they wanted to sue their own school. 363 00:14:18,361 --> 00:14:19,745 I did it. 364 00:14:19,779 --> 00:14:21,247 Sorry. 365 00:14:21,281 --> 00:14:24,066 Anyway, I'll leave you to pick up these pieces. 366 00:14:24,084 --> 00:14:25,534 I'm gonna go score some blow. 367 00:14:25,568 --> 00:14:27,236 My dealer's a gym teacher here. 368 00:14:34,882 --> 00:14:36,445 You were lying to us? 369 00:14:36,553 --> 00:14:38,621 I never lied to you. 370 00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:41,207 I showed you the right truth. 371 00:14:41,241 --> 00:14:42,925 Britta, when we met, 372 00:14:42,959 --> 00:14:44,510 you were an eclectic anarchist. 373 00:14:44,561 --> 00:14:46,896 How did you become the group's airhead? 374 00:14:46,930 --> 00:14:48,614 Thank you? 375 00:14:48,665 --> 00:14:51,033 And, Shirley, you've gone from an independent divorcee 376 00:14:51,068 --> 00:14:52,518 striking out on her own 377 00:14:52,552 --> 00:14:56,605 to a bankrupt fry cook hoping for a call from her husband. 378 00:14:56,623 --> 00:14:58,824 Troy, your entire identity has been consumed 379 00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:00,810 by your relationship with another man. 380 00:15:00,844 --> 00:15:02,328 You found my Clive Owen Tumblr. 381 00:15:02,362 --> 00:15:04,797 And what happened to Annie the Unstoppable Go-getter? 382 00:15:04,831 --> 00:15:06,766 Well, there was that gas leak last year. 383 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,001 Oh, don't blame it all on the gas leak year. 384 00:15:09,052 --> 00:15:10,686 This was a four-year process. 385 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,521 We went in one end as real people 386 00:15:12,555 --> 00:15:15,074 and out the other end as mixed-up cartoons. 387 00:15:15,108 --> 00:15:16,592 - Cool. - Sure. 388 00:15:16,626 --> 00:15:17,676 This coming from the guy who's had 389 00:15:17,711 --> 00:15:19,278 how many psychotic breaks on campus? 390 00:15:19,312 --> 00:15:20,679 Are we including the gas leak year? 391 00:15:20,714 --> 00:15:23,065 You all came here with a chance to be something, 392 00:15:23,083 --> 00:15:24,967 and you all had that taken away from you. 393 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:26,802 Get something back. 394 00:15:26,837 --> 00:15:29,488 Seek damages. 395 00:15:29,523 --> 00:15:31,023 Sign here. 396 00:15:31,057 --> 00:15:32,575 But you're our hero. 397 00:15:32,609 --> 00:15:34,627 I mean, in the commercial... 398 00:15:34,678 --> 00:15:35,828 The commercial was a lie. 399 00:15:35,862 --> 00:15:37,847 You staged a robot fight? 400 00:15:37,881 --> 00:15:38,914 Yeah. 401 00:15:38,949 --> 00:15:41,300 In real life, the robot wins. 402 00:15:46,523 --> 00:15:47,656 Troy? 403 00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:52,678 If Jeff didn't change, 404 00:15:52,712 --> 00:15:54,463 then Jeff is right. 405 00:15:54,481 --> 00:15:55,931 Case closed. 406 00:15:55,949 --> 00:15:56,949 Let's make some money. 407 00:15:56,983 --> 00:15:58,334 Okay, Jeff, 408 00:15:58,368 --> 00:15:59,919 if this is what you really want to do. 409 00:15:59,953 --> 00:16:01,837 I'll sign. 410 00:16:01,871 --> 00:16:03,806 The choice to make is yours. 411 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:07,343 No, it's yours. 412 00:16:07,377 --> 00:16:09,678 We're putting Greendale in your hands. 413 00:16:18,705 --> 00:16:19,972 Do we all have to say something? 414 00:16:20,023 --> 00:16:21,807 - No, you can just sign it. - Okay. 415 00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:25,794 - You brought us together. - With lies. 416 00:16:25,829 --> 00:16:27,863 But what you do is above lying, remember? 417 00:16:27,898 --> 00:16:29,849 You show us the right truth. 418 00:16:32,235 --> 00:16:34,737 You won't regret this. 419 00:16:39,059 --> 00:16:42,545 I'd like to take the study room table in back and burn it. 420 00:16:42,579 --> 00:16:44,563 Burn it? Why? 421 00:16:44,598 --> 00:16:45,881 The same reason 422 00:16:45,899 --> 00:16:49,018 I never returned Time Bandits to Blockbuster. 423 00:16:49,052 --> 00:16:50,686 Nobody else deserves it. 424 00:16:59,362 --> 00:17:00,462 Jesus! 425 00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:03,165 Looks as if you've lost your way. 426 00:17:03,199 --> 00:17:04,300 Pierce? 427 00:17:04,334 --> 00:17:05,401 Continue on this path, 428 00:17:05,435 --> 00:17:06,852 and you might miss your last chance 429 00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:09,838 to see the Pierce Hawthorne Museum of Gender Sensitivity 430 00:17:09,873 --> 00:17:12,208 and Sexual Potency on the central quad. 431 00:17:12,242 --> 00:17:14,977 The museum and this hologram were donated in compliance 432 00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:18,313 with a court order I'm not allowed to discuss. 433 00:17:18,331 --> 00:17:20,983 Let's just say some women can't take a compliment. 434 00:17:21,001 --> 00:17:22,868 Unbelievable. 435 00:17:22,919 --> 00:17:25,638 What I am allowed to discuss is Greendale, 436 00:17:25,672 --> 00:17:27,556 and I'll say this... 437 00:17:27,591 --> 00:17:29,358 Don't turn your back on it. 438 00:17:29,392 --> 00:17:32,027 Take it from a man with no legal right to be there. 439 00:17:32,061 --> 00:17:34,363 You're in a special place. 440 00:17:34,381 --> 00:17:35,798 A crappy place, sure, 441 00:17:35,832 --> 00:17:38,484 but only because it gives crappy people a chance 442 00:17:38,518 --> 00:17:41,854 to sort themselves out. 443 00:17:41,888 --> 00:17:44,823 Did I sound gay at the end? Do you want to do another take? 444 00:17:44,874 --> 00:17:47,559 Ahh! Jeffrey, I'm not decent. 445 00:17:47,594 --> 00:17:48,594 I know. 446 00:17:48,645 --> 00:17:50,112 These are the signatures 447 00:17:50,146 --> 00:17:52,414 of the five people that are crazy enough 448 00:17:52,449 --> 00:17:54,166 to care about this toilet. 449 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:56,619 And tonight, I almost got them to sue it. 450 00:17:56,653 --> 00:17:59,588 - Heed the warning! - It's not easy being Dean, Jeffrey! 451 00:17:59,622 --> 00:18:00,973 Then stop being the Dean! 452 00:18:01,024 --> 00:18:02,658 It's my whole ideantity! 453 00:18:02,692 --> 00:18:04,944 I mean, wah, see what I did there? That's proof! 454 00:18:04,995 --> 00:18:07,579 Get your crap together. 455 00:18:07,631 --> 00:18:09,682 Your job is not to hand out degrees. 456 00:18:09,733 --> 00:18:11,967 Your job is to make this a toilet 457 00:18:11,985 --> 00:18:14,570 that people don't have to be crazy to care about. 458 00:18:14,604 --> 00:18:17,572 But you could stay here and help me save the school. 459 00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:19,041 For how much money? 460 00:18:19,075 --> 00:18:20,375 I-I can't offer you any money. 461 00:18:20,393 --> 00:18:21,844 I could offer you a job. 462 00:18:21,878 --> 00:18:23,312 You just described slavery. 463 00:18:23,346 --> 00:18:25,981 I mean, there's nothing in the budget for school saver, 464 00:18:25,999 --> 00:18:31,286 but I could hire you as... 465 00:18:31,304 --> 00:18:34,823 Screw you, Abed. 466 00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:39,311 I'd be depressed right now if these samples from work 467 00:18:39,346 --> 00:18:41,680 weren't giving me a new outlook on life. 468 00:18:41,715 --> 00:18:43,465 If you're interested in learning more, 469 00:18:43,499 --> 00:18:45,868 ask your doctor if Joyvatrex is right for you. 470 00:18:45,902 --> 00:18:47,319 Oh, honey. 471 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,872 If we sue Greendale, can I be a surprise witness? 472 00:18:49,906 --> 00:18:51,740 Wait. Don't tell me. 473 00:18:51,775 --> 00:18:53,642 Stop! 474 00:18:53,677 --> 00:18:54,777 We shouldn't sue the school. 475 00:18:54,811 --> 00:18:56,395 - Ohh. - Come on! 476 00:18:56,446 --> 00:18:59,014 Are you trying to give us emotional whiplash? 477 00:18:59,032 --> 00:19:01,817 Look, if you feel there's more work to be done on yourselves, 478 00:19:01,835 --> 00:19:04,853 then as crappy as this place is, 479 00:19:04,888 --> 00:19:06,355 it's a place that you can do it. 480 00:19:06,389 --> 00:19:07,489 You got a job teaching here, didn't you? 481 00:19:07,524 --> 00:19:09,358 I don't want to talk about it. 482 00:19:09,392 --> 00:19:12,678 Well, then, I'm getting back into forensic science. 483 00:19:12,712 --> 00:19:15,798 That was my actual dream. It's my fault I bailed on it. 484 00:19:15,832 --> 00:19:17,633 A film degree doesn't make me a filmmaker. 485 00:19:17,667 --> 00:19:19,301 I need to learn how to work with other people. 486 00:19:19,335 --> 00:19:21,754 - I need to figure out who I am. - I'll help you. 487 00:19:21,788 --> 00:19:23,772 Get out of my brain. 488 00:19:23,806 --> 00:19:26,158 I need to learn how to really run a business 489 00:19:26,209 --> 00:19:28,377 by my own standards, not Greendale's. 490 00:19:28,411 --> 00:19:30,129 I'm gonna get a four-year psych degree, 491 00:19:30,180 --> 00:19:31,463 then a master's, 492 00:19:31,514 --> 00:19:33,632 and become a real psychologist. 493 00:19:33,683 --> 00:19:36,235 Or you could find another major. 494 00:19:36,269 --> 00:19:37,886 A real psychologist. 495 00:19:37,904 --> 00:19:40,072 - How about English? - Psychology. 496 00:19:40,123 --> 00:19:41,657 All right, what's important is, 497 00:19:41,691 --> 00:19:43,325 no matter what, 498 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:46,829 we'll be trying to talk Britta into doing something different 499 00:19:46,863 --> 00:19:49,014 together. 500 00:19:50,517 --> 00:19:53,569 Burn, hopelessness. 501 00:19:59,876 --> 00:20:02,127 - We got this. - Oh, my God, be careful! 502 00:20:04,347 --> 00:20:07,249 Little victories count for a lot around here... 503 00:20:08,635 --> 00:20:11,220 Wow, this is good. 504 00:20:11,254 --> 00:20:14,940 Even if you never asked to win in the first place. 505 00:20:14,974 --> 00:20:17,826 And you have to enjoy those nice moments while you can. 506 00:20:17,861 --> 00:20:20,813 See, he does a voice-over wrap-up at the end of every episode. 507 00:20:20,864 --> 00:20:22,865 - Wow. - Cool. 508 00:20:22,899 --> 00:20:26,200 Because around here, they never last very long. 509 00:20:26,287 --> 00:20:27,287 __ 510 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,321 Once more. More teachery. 511 00:20:29,372 --> 00:20:30,789 I want to kill myself. 512 00:20:30,824 --> 00:20:33,445 Use that. 513 00:20:36,623 --> 00:20:38,012 Are you a good person? 514 00:20:38,052 --> 00:20:39,392 Yes, unlike you. 515 00:20:39,403 --> 00:20:42,272 I can...guarantee. The Winger...beaten...you. 516 00:20:42,306 --> 00:20:43,323 Not anymore. 517 00:21:06,578 --> 00:21:12,979 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net