1 00:00:00,432 --> 00:00:04,970 Yahoo! 2 00:00:04,971 --> 00:00:06,914 Welcome back to Greendale, 3 00:00:06,915 --> 00:00:12,959 now ranking fifth on Colorado's alphabetical listing of community colleges. 4 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:16,249 Rest in peace, Bad Boy Slim's DJ School. 5 00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:20,709 This school owes its continued existence to the following heroes. 6 00:00:20,710 --> 00:00:22,499 Jeff Winger, a teacher so 7 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:27,679 dedicated to clean energy, he's already parking like his car is electric. 8 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,573 Britta Perry, currently raising awareness of homelessness, 9 00:00:31,574 --> 00:00:33,166 not that she has a choice. 10 00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:36,915 Abed Nadir, who actually wrote this announcement for the sake of, 11 00:00:36,916 --> 00:00:38,967 as he put it, catching everyone up. 12 00:00:38,968 --> 00:00:43,167 And Annie Edison who led the effort to save 13 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:47,977 Greendale from 534 critical emergencies. 14 00:00:47,978 --> 00:00:49,718 534? 15 00:01:07,186 --> 00:01:15,798 Frisbee! 16 00:01:35,733 --> 00:01:39,645 Hey Leonard, what, are you gonna Bogart the disc all day? 17 00:01:59,708 --> 00:02:05,640 Like tears in rain. 18 00:02:05,641 --> 00:02:07,880 What? 19 00:02:23,381 --> 00:02:33,433 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 20 00:02:38,042 --> 00:02:39,911 I can't believe the roof collapsed. 21 00:02:39,912 --> 00:02:41,339 We almost killed Fat Neil. 22 00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:42,128 That was Garrett. 23 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,742 See, we're monsters. 24 00:02:43,743 --> 00:02:45,886 Okay, if they blame us for this, let me take the heat. 25 00:02:45,887 --> 00:02:48,057 I'd never see the inside of a cell. 26 00:02:48,058 --> 00:02:53,560 I have been reliving this day over and over for a thousand years. 27 00:02:53,561 --> 00:02:54,681 Guys, this is not on us. 28 00:02:54,682 --> 00:02:58,756 That roof was gonna collapse, 80% of the rubble was styrofoam. 29 00:02:58,757 --> 00:03:01,403 Speaking of guilt, where's Shirley? 30 00:03:01,404 --> 00:03:02,773 You didn't tell him? 31 00:03:02,774 --> 00:03:04,480 I was waiting until we were all together. 32 00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:07,144 Abed's not comfortable with C-H-A-N-G-E. 33 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:07,806 Hey, screw you. 34 00:03:07,807 --> 00:03:09,641 I can spell. 35 00:03:09,642 --> 00:03:11,533 Screw you. 36 00:03:11,534 --> 00:03:12,288 Is Shirley gone? 37 00:03:12,289 --> 00:03:13,193 Did she spin off? 38 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:15,991 Nobody spins off in real life, Abed. 39 00:03:15,992 --> 00:03:19,284 Shirley went to look after her dad in Atlanta and ended up taking 40 00:03:19,285 --> 00:03:23,213 a job as a personal chef to a brilliant, but troubled Southern detective. 41 00:03:23,214 --> 00:03:25,674 I told her I'd manage her sandwich shop while she's gone. 42 00:03:25,675 --> 00:03:27,009 Oh, that's very generous of you. 43 00:03:27,010 --> 00:03:29,926 I have a friend in town, every time you're gonna need help with that. 44 00:03:29,927 --> 00:03:31,006 She'll be back. 45 00:03:31,007 --> 00:03:32,139 . Like Troy? 46 00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:35,681 Are any of you white people noticing what's happening to this group? 47 00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,643 Do Abed and I need to be concerned? 48 00:03:37,644 --> 00:03:41,231 You have my word, as leader of the white people there's no cause for alarm. 49 00:03:41,232 --> 00:03:44,110 Say hello to new Shirley. 50 00:03:44,111 --> 00:03:45,399 Just kidding. 51 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,233 This is Francesca Dart. 52 00:03:47,234 --> 00:03:49,904 I have brought her on as an administrative consultant. 53 00:03:49,905 --> 00:03:52,906 I thought it would be fun, and mandatory for 54 00:03:52,907 --> 00:03:55,407 you to add her to your little committee. 55 00:03:55,408 --> 00:03:57,398 Why, because one roof collapsed? 56 00:03:57,399 --> 00:03:59,461 No, God, God no. 57 00:03:59,462 --> 00:04:02,327 I'm your friend bringing you a new friend, 58 00:04:02,328 --> 00:04:05,196 one with training in not collapsing roofs. 59 00:04:05,197 --> 00:04:07,251 Is she, excuse me, ma'am. 60 00:04:07,252 --> 00:04:11,465 Is she above us or below us? 61 00:04:11,466 --> 00:04:13,056 She is, woop! 62 00:04:13,057 --> 00:04:17,584 I'm getting a call, here, and I'll have to take it. 63 00:04:17,585 --> 00:04:20,951 Frankie, why don't you explain what your role will be, 64 00:04:20,952 --> 00:04:22,855 while I leave to take this call. 65 00:04:22,856 --> 00:04:27,344 My phone is vibrating, but it is In your office, which you didn't realize, 66 00:04:27,345 --> 00:04:29,147 when you started the fake phone call move. 67 00:04:29,148 --> 00:04:31,992 My phone is in my pocket, Jeffrey. 68 00:04:31,993 --> 00:04:32,653 Mm. 69 00:04:32,654 --> 00:04:36,241 I'm walking away, so I can get it out and answer it. 70 00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:38,830 Let me know how it goes. 71 00:04:38,831 --> 00:04:40,583 Okay, I'll just have a seat and-. 72 00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:41,292 No! 73 00:04:41,293 --> 00:04:43,126 No! No, no, no! Hey! 74 00:04:43,127 --> 00:04:44,786 Our friend use to sit there. 75 00:04:44,787 --> 00:04:46,957 She spun off. 76 00:04:46,958 --> 00:04:49,384 I'm sorry, what about here? 77 00:04:49,385 --> 00:04:51,735 Yeah, I guess that's okay. 78 00:04:51,736 --> 00:04:52,681 Okay, so, 79 00:04:52,682 --> 00:04:58,283 I took an informal survey to get a sense of how Greendale is perceived. 80 00:04:58,284 --> 00:05:01,440 And three themes emerged, weird. 81 00:05:01,441 --> 00:05:03,553 Passionate and gross. 82 00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,683 Now you want to hang onto that grouping. 83 00:05:05,684 --> 00:05:09,599 In marketing, it's what we call the Good Belushi. 84 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,889 If I had a magic wand, 85 00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,689 I would use it to make sure Greendale never had to grow up. 86 00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:17,839 I would also probably use it to cut the Magic Wand class that I noticed is 87 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:22,999 actually offered here, as well as VCR Repair, a class called Ladders, and 88 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,659 When is it Okay to Shake a Baby? 89 00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:28,359 In terms of hierarchy, I'm a big believer in it. 90 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,929 Someone needs to say, I'm in charge, and that person is me. 91 00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:32,939 That's my decision. 92 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:37,579 That doesn't mean that we don't work together, but all communication and 93 00:05:37,580 --> 00:05:39,589 decisions will go through me. 94 00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:43,019 I'll send out an email later to set up our next meeting. 95 00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:45,049 Awesome. Okay. Great seeing you, Professor. 96 00:05:45,050 --> 00:05:46,411 Yeah. Coolios. 97 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,129 Who in the crazy bitch? 98 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:49,012 Did that just happen? 99 00:05:49,013 --> 00:05:50,474 Did you see her binder? 100 00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:53,509 Pretty nondescript. 101 00:05:53,510 --> 00:05:54,669 Seems like she may be trouble. 102 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:55,339 To be fair, 103 00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:59,899 she's an additional white person, which has clearly become important here. 104 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:01,034 No, thank you. 105 00:06:01,035 --> 00:06:03,799 I, I'm just glad I was able to answer. 106 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,909 My, my phone got lodged in my pocket. 107 00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:07,189 I know! 108 00:06:07,190 --> 00:06:09,119 I guess that is a thing. 109 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,763 So, you were saying about the thing, the reason you were calling was, 110 00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,537 what were you talking to me about? 111 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,254 Looks good, Tony. 112 00:06:17,255 --> 00:06:20,179 I'm sorry, I just assume your name is Tony. 113 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,271 Here you go. 114 00:06:21,272 --> 00:06:27,087 I gave you some extra heat. 115 00:06:27,088 --> 00:06:30,431 Britta, what is the weekly cost of this restaurant? 116 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:31,197 Oh, that's easy. 117 00:06:31,198 --> 00:06:32,172 My dignity. 118 00:06:32,173 --> 00:06:37,375 Seems like this sandwich counter is consuming your happiness and 119 00:06:37,376 --> 00:06:40,694 converting it into burnt bread and debt. 120 00:06:40,695 --> 00:06:41,901 So? 121 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:42,986 Frankie, hi. 122 00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:47,102 Someone removed all the liquor from the faculty lounge. 123 00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:49,960 I'm sorry, I cannot legally protect or 124 00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:52,909 insure a campus with free flowing booze. 125 00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:56,179 Well, I can't teach with free flowing sobriety. 126 00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:58,375 Is that true? 127 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,813 Do you really think you're an addict? 128 00:07:00,814 --> 00:07:05,085 No. 129 00:07:05,086 --> 00:07:08,591 Dean! 130 00:07:08,592 --> 00:07:09,404 Hello? 131 00:07:09,405 --> 00:07:10,332 Oh, oh, hey! 132 00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:11,145 Yes, I can talk. 133 00:07:11,146 --> 00:07:12,120 Damn it. 134 00:07:12,121 --> 00:07:13,838 I am available anytime for you. 135 00:07:13,839 --> 00:07:14,953 Frankie, Frankie. 136 00:07:14,954 --> 00:07:17,610 Hi. I had an idea about how to deelectrify the pool. 137 00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,723 Oh, that's already been dealt with. 138 00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:22,346 Okay, well, then, there's-. 139 00:07:22,347 --> 00:07:22,980 Oh, let's see. 140 00:07:22,981 --> 00:07:25,673 Done, done, deloused. 141 00:07:25,674 --> 00:07:28,181 Appraised, defused, rebuilt. 142 00:07:28,182 --> 00:07:31,408 De-peanut buttered, debunked, spayed, neutered. 143 00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:35,913 Underway, resanctified, plunged, deported and exhumed. 144 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,561 Thank you. 145 00:07:37,562 --> 00:07:39,976 Oh, this is pretty. 146 00:07:39,977 --> 00:07:41,114 Huh. 147 00:07:41,115 --> 00:07:43,482 I'm gonna name one of my sandwiches after her. 148 00:07:43,483 --> 00:07:44,922 My sandwiches suck. 149 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,824 She is improving Greendale. 150 00:07:47,825 --> 00:07:48,537 Yeah, but 151 00:07:48,538 --> 00:07:53,141 how much can you improve Greendale before it stops being Greendale? 152 00:07:53,142 --> 00:07:55,254 She didn't suffer for this place. 153 00:07:55,255 --> 00:07:57,181 She doesn't understand it. 154 00:07:57,182 --> 00:08:00,269 She's gonna end up messing with something that-. 155 00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:01,895 Abed. 156 00:08:01,896 --> 00:08:08,825 Temporal mutation in English, Doc. 157 00:08:08,826 --> 00:08:11,733 Simply put Mr. President, 158 00:08:11,734 --> 00:08:16,464 in 12 hours these dinosaurs will become-. 159 00:08:16,465 --> 00:08:17,811 Mind if I sit here? 160 00:08:17,812 --> 00:08:19,134 Time-asaurs. 161 00:08:19,135 --> 00:08:22,524 Go ahead, I can reshoot. 162 00:08:22,525 --> 00:08:24,544 How's everything going? 163 00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,309 I have concerns. 164 00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:27,400 I'd like to hear them. 165 00:08:27,401 --> 00:08:29,306 I'm worried you're not distinct enough for 166 00:08:29,307 --> 00:08:31,371 Manny both in terms of physicality and purpose. 167 00:08:31,372 --> 00:08:32,716 Okay. 168 00:08:32,717 --> 00:08:34,565 I can't determine if you have any specific flaw, 169 00:08:34,566 --> 00:08:37,939 quirk, or point of view that makes you a creative addition to the group. 170 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:40,999 I don't know what that means, but I'm writing it down. 171 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,029 My umbrella concern is that you, 172 00:08:42,030 --> 00:08:44,729 as a character, represent the end of what I used to call our show, 173 00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:46,999 which was once an unlikely family of misfit students, and 174 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,379 is now a pretty loose knit group of students and teachers. 175 00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,029 None of whom are taking a class together in a school which, 176 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,629 as of your arrival, is becoming increasingly grounded, 177 00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:55,969 asking questions like, how do any of us get our money? 178 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:58,409 When will we get our degrees, and what happened to that girl I was dating? 179 00:08:58,410 --> 00:09:00,919 As opposed to questions I consider more important like, what is real? 180 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:01,609 What is sanity? 181 00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:02,709 Is there a god? 182 00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:03,921 Where's that Pierce hologram? 183 00:09:03,922 --> 00:09:05,289 Jeff said last year he saw a Pierce hologram. 184 00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:06,699 None of the rest of us have ever seen it. 185 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:08,129 So, if there's a Pierce ghost on campus, 186 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:10,569 I'd like to get a head start on busting it. 187 00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:14,519 All right. This is the first I've heard that I'm a character on a show. 188 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,399 I'm excited to be one, but I agree, I'll be a boring one. 189 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,799 Quirks are not my strong suit, results are. 190 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:20,769 I love quirky people. 191 00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:24,339 I come from a big family of people who are literally insane. 192 00:09:24,340 --> 00:09:26,449 I moved down here to take care of one of them. 193 00:09:26,450 --> 00:09:31,299 But I myself am exceptionally boring, and I am quite proud to be that way, 194 00:09:31,300 --> 00:09:35,682 because it allows me to help the less boring people turn quirks into 195 00:09:35,683 --> 00:09:36,402 results. 196 00:09:36,403 --> 00:09:38,511 That's the most interesting take on not being interesting that 197 00:09:38,512 --> 00:09:39,142 I've ever heard. 198 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:42,121 As far as what I represent about your show, I wouldn't give me or 199 00:09:42,122 --> 00:09:43,623 anyone else that kind of power. 200 00:09:43,624 --> 00:09:46,108 Good shows change, I assume. 201 00:09:46,109 --> 00:09:48,151 Personally, I don't own a TV. 202 00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,516 You're the first person to say that that I 203 00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:50,961 didn't immediately delete from my brain. 204 00:09:50,962 --> 00:09:54,838 Thank you. 205 00:09:54,839 --> 00:09:57,532 Emergency meeting at Shirley's Sandwiches right now. 206 00:09:57,533 --> 00:09:58,414 Everyone freaking out. 207 00:09:58,415 --> 00:09:59,946 New lady is evil. 208 00:09:59,947 --> 00:10:02,019 Crazy frown. 209 00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:04,433 I should go. 210 00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:09,060 Abed, I could really use someone's help in learning the ropes around here. 211 00:10:09,061 --> 00:10:12,705 I'll ask around. 212 00:10:12,706 --> 00:10:14,609 Friends, dumb hats. 213 00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:16,002 Totally talking down to you. 214 00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:16,954 She hates you. 215 00:10:16,955 --> 00:10:18,556 I got it from Jared. 216 00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:19,439 What are you guys doing back here? 217 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,275 Are you the big chilling? 218 00:10:20,276 --> 00:10:23,489 Yeah, only there's not a hippie that died to make us come together and 219 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,036 complain. 220 00:10:24,037 --> 00:10:24,942 It's our school. 221 00:10:24,943 --> 00:10:26,172 Frankie's taking over the campus. 222 00:10:26,173 --> 00:10:28,625 She cancelled ladder's, she's banning substances, 223 00:10:28,626 --> 00:10:30,677 she wants to shut down Shirley's sandwiches. 224 00:10:30,678 --> 00:10:32,000 She called Annie a bitch. 225 00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:33,626 She implied I was a bitch. 226 00:10:33,627 --> 00:10:34,909 She implied Annie was a stuck up bitch who 227 00:10:34,910 --> 00:10:36,133 thinks she's better than everyone. 228 00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:37,341 Okay, now you're just-. 229 00:10:37,342 --> 00:10:38,339 She was nice to me. 230 00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:39,500 In fact we kinda got along. 231 00:10:39,501 --> 00:10:43,796 Abed, are you sure she wasn't actually being sweetly condescending? 232 00:10:43,797 --> 00:10:45,328 Yup, I learned to pick up on that one. 233 00:10:45,329 --> 00:10:48,841 I make a movement that we form a separate, secret, committee. 234 00:10:48,842 --> 00:10:52,161 I second Britta's motion, not movement. 235 00:10:52,162 --> 00:10:55,554 I third Annie's number two-ing of the movement Brita made. 236 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:56,624 Gross. 237 00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:58,814 Our mission to preserve the real Greendale. 238 00:10:58,815 --> 00:11:01,264 Oppose Frankie or drink. 239 00:11:01,265 --> 00:11:02,008 Whatever's easiest. 240 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,843 Are you guys sure she's bad? 241 00:11:05,844 --> 00:11:08,569 Are you sure you're not doing what I usually do, overreacting to change? 242 00:11:08,570 --> 00:11:10,258 Nobody's ever doing what you usually do Abed. 243 00:11:10,259 --> 00:11:10,919 You're nuts. 244 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:11,629 Huh. 245 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:12,429 In a good way. 246 00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:13,139 I'm just saying. 247 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:13,699 Leave reality to us. 248 00:11:13,700 --> 00:11:15,869 We always support you. 249 00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:17,729 Don't make it more dramatic than it is. 250 00:11:17,730 --> 00:11:18,969 It's a blood oath to defy evil. 251 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,210 You're either in or you're out. 252 00:11:21,610 --> 00:11:22,999 Can I hang around if I don't do the oath. 253 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,629 Oh, gee. You mean just be friends? 254 00:11:25,630 --> 00:11:27,172 Sure. Great, Abed. 255 00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:28,196 Okay. 256 00:11:31,526 --> 00:11:32,896 Can I have some pretzels? 257 00:11:36,820 --> 00:11:38,142 No. 258 00:11:38,143 --> 00:11:42,537 Those are secret committee pretzels. 259 00:11:42,538 --> 00:11:44,490 Okay. 260 00:11:44,491 --> 00:11:49,761 Well. 261 00:11:49,762 --> 00:11:51,984 Yes, that was a test. 262 00:11:51,985 --> 00:11:54,117 You guys are bad friends. 263 00:11:59,421 --> 00:12:00,975 Don't think of it as bad baking. 264 00:12:00,976 --> 00:12:02,952 Think of it as a crushing blow to a gender stereotype. 265 00:12:07,898 --> 00:12:11,594 Britta, it might help if every burnt sandwich didn't come with a self-aware 266 00:12:11,595 --> 00:12:12,611 burnt sandwich bit. 267 00:12:12,612 --> 00:12:15,792 Is that how you're gonna help increase sales, creative notes? 268 00:12:15,793 --> 00:12:18,207 I had that sign spinner idea. 269 00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:24,629 We're a restaurant inside a cafeteria Annie, our weak point wasn't traffic. 270 00:12:24,630 --> 00:12:28,065 Flo, Alice no fighting, can't afford to lose this place. 271 00:12:28,066 --> 00:12:30,854 If I have to start drinking in the men's room, the score in my head 272 00:12:30,855 --> 00:12:33,721 has to change from Trent Reznor to Johnny Cash doing Trent Reznor. 273 00:12:33,722 --> 00:12:34,777 I'm a bartender Annie, 274 00:12:34,778 --> 00:12:37,150 I know a little bit more about the human side of service. 275 00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:39,369 I can't eat this. 276 00:12:39,370 --> 00:12:40,379 Can I have my money back? 277 00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:41,300 You're human garbage. 278 00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:44,139 Hi, Mr. Winger. 279 00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:45,379 Nice lecture yesterday. 280 00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:46,289 Don't patronize me Dick. 281 00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:47,579 It might not seem like this, but 282 00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:51,819 you're killing small, black owned business. 283 00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:53,661 I'll call it even for a drink with Mr. Winger. 284 00:12:55,970 --> 00:12:56,589 That's absurd. 285 00:12:56,590 --> 00:12:57,090 You will? 286 00:13:00,209 --> 00:13:01,002 Let's see some ID. 287 00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:01,868 You snitch, you die. 288 00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:05,165 Morning. 289 00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,024 Morning. 290 00:13:06,025 --> 00:13:07,951 Morning. 291 00:13:07,952 --> 00:13:10,714 Well I guess we'll wait for the others before we start. 292 00:13:10,715 --> 00:13:12,038 I don't think they're coming. 293 00:13:12,039 --> 00:13:16,229 What? The committee had a meeting last night and decided you are evil. 294 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,839 Ooh. Wait, you guys had a meeting last night? 295 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:18,549 So, we broke up as friends. 296 00:13:18,550 --> 00:13:21,139 Because I don't think you're evil. 297 00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,789 I think you scare people, 298 00:13:22,790 --> 00:13:26,099 because you live in the real world instead of up your butt. 299 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,789 I'm sorry that happened, Abed. 300 00:13:27,790 --> 00:13:29,369 It's like I said yesterday at lunch. 301 00:13:29,370 --> 00:13:31,140 Drama and conflict are exciting and easy. 302 00:13:32,330 --> 00:13:33,809 Making a difference can be pretty boring. 303 00:13:33,810 --> 00:13:35,289 You guys had lunch? 304 00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:36,299 I'd like to try to live in that world. 305 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,949 I'm a little tired from all the drama, the heroes, the villains, monsters. 306 00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:41,952 Pokemons. You're just a person that sees things the way they are. 307 00:13:41,953 --> 00:13:42,765 Leprechauns. 308 00:13:42,766 --> 00:13:43,694 Scary. 309 00:13:43,695 --> 00:13:44,907 I don't know if I can be like that but 310 00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,489 I don't think it makes sense to be against it. 311 00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:48,489 You guys ever hear of The Slender Man? 312 00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:50,199 I'd like to try to help you. 313 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:51,399 And if possible, learn from you. 314 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:52,849 You guys on Reddit, 4Chan? 315 00:13:52,850 --> 00:13:53,989 That would be great, Abed. 316 00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:54,644 Cuz it's awesome. 317 00:13:54,645 --> 00:14:00,681 I think we'd all benefit if we were more like you, so what do you say? 318 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:02,399 Let's order some food. 319 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:03,815 Let's save Greendale. 320 00:14:03,816 --> 00:14:04,767 Let's save Greendale. 321 00:14:04,768 --> 00:14:07,275 Tacos! 322 00:14:07,276 --> 00:14:09,364 We are something else. 323 00:14:23,707 --> 00:14:25,215 Abed. 324 00:14:25,216 --> 00:14:26,074 Abed. 325 00:14:26,075 --> 00:14:26,771 Yeah? 326 00:14:26,772 --> 00:14:28,025 What are you doing? 327 00:14:28,026 --> 00:14:29,000 What do you mean? 328 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,701 Someone told me you were sweeping, straightening clocks. 329 00:14:30,702 --> 00:14:32,269 Why are you cleaning that sign? 330 00:14:32,270 --> 00:14:33,469 I gave you a list. 331 00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:34,829 Yeah, the list felt pretty similar visually. 332 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:38,629 I can't picture a montage cutting from me verifying Diane's invoice to me 333 00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:40,529 emailing confirmation to Diane. 334 00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:41,209 Right. 335 00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:42,519 But a montage is what, Abed? 336 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,209 It's a movie apologizing for reality. 337 00:14:44,210 --> 00:14:45,689 And we are where? 338 00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:49,281 Reality. And what do people do here? 339 00:14:49,282 --> 00:14:51,377 They email Diane? 340 00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:08,443 Abed, if you change your clothes one more time today, you're fired. 341 00:15:08,444 --> 00:15:13,806 Sorry. 342 00:15:13,807 --> 00:15:14,735 Hey, Abed. 343 00:15:14,736 --> 00:15:16,128 Hey, Todd. 344 00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:18,009 Are Andy and Bruno around? 345 00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:20,053 No. 346 00:15:30,989 --> 00:15:35,400 Abed, maybe you should order the special. 347 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,513 I'll have the special. 348 00:15:37,514 --> 00:15:40,347 The specials are kept in the back. 349 00:15:44,317 --> 00:15:46,802 You should, you should go in the back. 350 00:16:13,697 --> 00:16:19,895 I'd like the special. 351 00:16:32,504 --> 00:16:35,382 Vaporizers, Skittles? 352 00:16:35,383 --> 00:16:36,520 Abed. 353 00:16:36,521 --> 00:16:37,426 Hey, Annie. 354 00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:38,540 This place is so conceptual. 355 00:16:38,541 --> 00:16:39,724 It's practical, too. 356 00:16:39,725 --> 00:16:41,439 We made enough money to save Shirley's. 357 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,670 And in an ironic way, because if Shirley saw this, her soul would die. 358 00:16:43,671 --> 00:16:45,621 Hey, Abed, check this out. 359 00:16:48,663 --> 00:16:49,963 Oh, Britta's still the worst? 360 00:16:49,964 --> 00:16:50,706 Yeah. 361 00:16:50,707 --> 00:16:52,006 The bar gets dirty. 362 00:16:52,007 --> 00:16:55,282 You're gonna need someone to clean it, probably after hours, and 363 00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:58,349 those floor polishers can get pretty loud. 364 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,709 I'd hate for someone to hear it. 365 00:17:00,710 --> 00:17:01,417 You blackmailing me? 366 00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:07,029 Just talking shop. 367 00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:08,129 What's the rumpus, Abed? 368 00:17:08,130 --> 00:17:08,774 Miller's Crossing. 369 00:17:08,775 --> 00:17:10,139 Mm hm. 370 00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:10,979 This is really great. 371 00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:12,269 You guys should be proud of yourselves. 372 00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:12,959 We missed you. 373 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:13,799 Have a drink. 374 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:14,929 Put on an old timey jacket. 375 00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:17,137 That's okay, I don't really do this anymore. 376 00:17:17,138 --> 00:17:19,550 All right, come on. 377 00:17:19,551 --> 00:17:21,871 I said I don't do this, see. 378 00:17:21,872 --> 00:17:23,543 You dirty rat. 379 00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:25,308 Guys are all dirty rats. 380 00:17:25,309 --> 00:17:27,421 What's your romper room? 381 00:17:27,422 --> 00:17:29,209 All right, maybe just one drink. 382 00:17:29,210 --> 00:17:32,088 Then maybe cut to a montage of drinks. 383 00:17:43,188 --> 00:17:44,765 Let's never stop being friends again ever. 384 00:17:44,766 --> 00:17:45,717 Mm hm. 385 00:17:45,718 --> 00:17:47,505 Cheers! 386 00:17:47,506 --> 00:17:49,850 We shouldn't have made you choose between Frankie and us. 387 00:17:49,851 --> 00:17:51,313 Oh, she's good for business. 388 00:17:51,314 --> 00:17:53,432 We're sorry that we made you choose between-. 389 00:17:53,433 --> 00:17:54,755 You're just repeating what I said. 390 00:17:54,756 --> 00:17:56,218 No, you're repeating what I said. 391 00:17:56,219 --> 00:17:57,356 Oh, I'm a time traveler? 392 00:17:58,216 --> 00:17:59,097 This is the show. 393 00:17:59,098 --> 00:18:06,267 Abed, 394 00:18:06,268 --> 00:18:11,310 I just got word from Diane that one of your emails was a little shaky. 395 00:18:11,311 --> 00:18:12,634 Are you okay? 396 00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:13,493 I'm good. 397 00:18:13,494 --> 00:18:14,747 Late night last night. 398 00:18:14,748 --> 00:18:16,279 Yeah? 399 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:18,253 Yeah, I could use a little protein. 400 00:18:18,254 --> 00:18:23,970 I'm gonna go get an early lunch. 401 00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:25,898 You guys know about tardigrades? 402 00:18:25,899 --> 00:18:28,777 They're these microscopic creatures that look like robot bears. 403 00:18:28,778 --> 00:18:29,822 They can survive in space. 404 00:18:29,823 --> 00:18:30,361 Mm. Mm hm. 405 00:18:30,362 --> 00:18:33,868 Get into space, you dirty tardigrades, see? 406 00:18:35,355 --> 00:18:36,956 And they're everywhere. 407 00:18:36,957 --> 00:18:39,154 There's a lot of little things in real life that are just as cool 408 00:18:39,155 --> 00:18:39,695 as fake stuff. 409 00:18:39,696 --> 00:18:41,414 I learned that working for Frankie. 410 00:18:41,415 --> 00:18:44,641 You guys would like her, you know. 411 00:18:44,642 --> 00:18:49,987 Raid! 412 00:18:49,988 --> 00:18:52,169 Is this what you guys want? 413 00:18:52,170 --> 00:18:55,139 You wanna play cops and robbers with costumes? 414 00:18:55,140 --> 00:18:56,140 Why is that guy a carrot? 415 00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,119 Because they ran out. 416 00:18:58,120 --> 00:18:58,629 Who tattled? 417 00:18:58,630 --> 00:19:04,149 In what world, Brita, do you see this as covert enough to require tattling? 418 00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:06,376 You built a bar in a school. 419 00:19:06,377 --> 00:19:08,634 There was lumber involved. 420 00:19:08,635 --> 00:19:11,208 I have been letting you hole up down here, 421 00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:14,080 because it kept you contained and satisfied, 422 00:19:14,081 --> 00:19:18,293 because you are all compulsively defiant, but it wasn't enough. 423 00:19:18,294 --> 00:19:21,591 You had to drag Abed back in, and Abed deserves better. 424 00:19:21,592 --> 00:19:22,496 Oh. 425 00:19:22,497 --> 00:19:25,724 Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, it finally comes out. 426 00:19:25,725 --> 00:19:28,580 Abed deserves better. 427 00:19:28,581 --> 00:19:29,880 That's been out. 428 00:19:29,881 --> 00:19:30,901 Shut up, Leonard. 429 00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:33,804 I once mistook six people for you at a pharmacy. 430 00:19:33,805 --> 00:19:34,965 It's not their fault, Frankie. 431 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:35,685 I chose this. 432 00:19:35,686 --> 00:19:37,635 These are my friends. 433 00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:39,144 I hate emailing Diane. 434 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,212 She can't commit to a font. 435 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,627 It's pathological, and so am I. 436 00:19:42,628 --> 00:19:44,299 This is where I belong. 437 00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:51,102 I know you think that, Abed, but you don't know any better. 438 00:19:51,103 --> 00:19:53,470 Whoops. 439 00:19:53,471 --> 00:19:56,326 But shut up, Leonard. 440 00:19:56,327 --> 00:19:57,139 You are. 441 00:19:57,140 --> 00:19:59,136 You are old. 442 00:19:59,137 --> 00:20:02,410 And you deserve less, because of your age. 443 00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:04,453 I don't, I don't actually believe that. 444 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:09,966 I'm just trying to, I'm trying to, and everybody here is a, 445 00:20:09,967 --> 00:20:14,762 is a fart a livid fart from the butt of a lesser god. 446 00:20:14,763 --> 00:20:19,802 I'm, I'm better than this. 447 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:25,073 Cut to everyone on campus getting as drunk as they want montage. 448 00:20:40,863 --> 00:20:42,882 Frankie hasn't come back to work today. 449 00:20:42,883 --> 00:20:44,507 That's terrible. 450 00:20:44,508 --> 00:20:46,086 The insurance company dropped us. 451 00:20:46,087 --> 00:20:47,503 The school has no insurance. 452 00:20:47,504 --> 00:20:48,431 What was Frankie's salary? 453 00:20:48,432 --> 00:20:49,058 A lot. 454 00:20:49,059 --> 00:20:50,080 What were the insurance premiums? 455 00:20:50,081 --> 00:20:51,009 A lot. 456 00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:53,447 Add those two numbers together, that's your new school dance budget. 457 00:20:53,448 --> 00:20:55,676 Oh, nice. 458 00:20:58,028 --> 00:21:00,332 Welcome to ladder! 459 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,188 Yeah! 460 00:21:13,869 --> 00:21:17,339 Ladder! 461 00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:21,077 Who wants to see the ladders professor go higher? 462 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:26,928 Ladder! 463 00:21:26,929 --> 00:21:29,891 Aah!. 464 00:21:29,892 --> 00:21:31,609 You did it, Jeff Winger! 465 00:21:31,610 --> 00:21:36,764 This is your school now. 466 00:21:36,765 --> 00:21:39,852 Annie. 467 00:21:39,853 --> 00:21:42,569 It was worth it. 468 00:21:42,570 --> 00:21:43,782 Aah! 469 00:21:51,260 --> 00:21:55,260 All right, that should be the extent of the professor's medical bills. 470 00:21:55,261 --> 00:21:57,071 What, what about that lawsuits from the students? 471 00:21:57,072 --> 00:21:58,464 I think we should fight those. 472 00:21:58,465 --> 00:22:00,322 Actually, I suggest you settle out of court. 473 00:22:00,323 --> 00:22:01,065 This is my fault. 474 00:22:01,066 --> 00:22:01,738 Obviously not. 475 00:22:01,739 --> 00:22:02,388 It's my fault. 476 00:22:02,389 --> 00:22:03,155 It's my fault. 477 00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:05,320 Guys, it's my fault. 478 00:22:05,321 --> 00:22:06,690 It's my fault. 479 00:22:06,691 --> 00:22:07,735 It's my fault. 480 00:22:07,736 --> 00:22:08,385 It's my fault. 481 00:22:08,386 --> 00:22:09,523 It's my fault. 482 00:22:09,524 --> 00:22:10,567 It's my fault. 483 00:22:11,544 --> 00:22:12,634 It's my fault. 484 00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:13,679 It's my fault. 485 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:14,959 It's my fault. 486 00:22:16,061 --> 00:22:17,546 All right, all right, all right. 487 00:22:17,547 --> 00:22:19,404 So, whose fault wasn't it? 488 00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:23,970 And who knows anything about handling anything like this? 489 00:22:23,971 --> 00:22:26,789 In terms of hierarchy, I'm a big believer in it. 490 00:22:26,790 --> 00:22:30,299 Someone needs to say, I'm in charge, and that person is me. 491 00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:33,169 That's my decision. 492 00:22:33,170 --> 00:22:34,933 Wait, what? 493 00:22:34,934 --> 00:22:35,676 I'm sorry? 494 00:22:35,677 --> 00:22:36,559 Who talks like that? 495 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:38,997 Why would anyone hire someone so pompous? 496 00:22:38,998 --> 00:22:42,773 Miss Dart, word of advice, change your personality, or start looking for 497 00:22:42,774 --> 00:22:44,430 companies run by insane people. 498 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:46,287 Don't hire this woman. 499 00:22:46,288 --> 00:22:47,147 Fifth time's the charm. 500 00:22:47,148 --> 00:22:49,376 He's barged the four offices screaming, don't hire this woman. 501 00:22:49,377 --> 00:22:51,605 What the hell is going on? 502 00:22:51,606 --> 00:22:52,603 What are you doing here? 503 00:22:52,604 --> 00:22:53,648 How did you even find me? 504 00:22:53,649 --> 00:22:55,041 I emailed Diane. 505 00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:56,550 She knows way too much about your schedule, by the way. 506 00:22:56,551 --> 00:23:00,753 Whatever he's offering you, Greendale, well, we can't double it. 507 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,727 We probably can't even match it. 508 00:23:02,728 --> 00:23:07,629 Whatever he's offering you, Greendale will give you less, and an apology. 509 00:23:07,630 --> 00:23:11,257 Do you know-. Shh. 510 00:23:11,258 --> 00:23:14,387 It's not enough, but 511 00:23:14,388 --> 00:23:19,337 maybe if you added more apologies. 512 00:23:19,338 --> 00:23:24,567 Like a montage of them? 513 00:23:24,568 --> 00:23:26,518 We're sorry. 514 00:25:14,940 --> 00:25:17,076 I told you I wouldn't be needing dinner tonight. 515 00:25:17,077 --> 00:25:18,933 I'm guessing you wouldn't. 516 00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:19,490 Not if you're looking for this. 517 00:25:23,124 --> 00:25:23,999 How'd you know? 518 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,339 Nobody makes more crumbs than a cook. 519 00:25:26,340 --> 00:25:28,849 Well, the same goes for clues and detectives. 520 00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:31,259 You're too busy solving murders to get away with your own. 521 00:25:31,260 --> 00:25:34,829 Well, then, what about the case of my wife and my legs, Shirley? 522 00:25:34,830 --> 00:25:36,199 Can you solve that one, huh? 523 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,009 Can you? 524 00:25:37,010 --> 00:25:39,109 Cuz if you can't, then I ain't got nothing to live for. 525 00:25:39,110 --> 00:25:41,565 Begging your pardon, Mr. Butcher. 526 00:25:41,566 --> 00:25:44,353 I think the people on this bayou would disagree. 527 00:25:44,354 --> 00:25:45,642 You rescued a runaway girl today. 528 00:25:45,643 --> 00:25:47,233 Rescued, balls. 529 00:25:47,234 --> 00:25:50,275 I couldn't even rescue a, a bulb from a socket. 530 00:25:50,276 --> 00:25:52,028 And you did all the work today, didn't you? 531 00:25:52,029 --> 00:25:56,196 I'm just a detective from the swamps of Atlanta, can't even walk. 532 00:25:56,197 --> 00:25:56,816 Oh. 533 00:25:56,817 --> 00:25:57,652 Aah! 534 00:25:57,653 --> 00:26:00,288 Then let me be your legs. 535 00:26:00,289 --> 00:26:03,790 Let me do for you what I did today every week until you find your wife. 536 00:26:03,791 --> 00:26:04,835 Or your legs. 537 00:26:04,836 --> 00:26:09,374 You are a stubborn son of a bitch, Shirley Bennett. 538 00:26:09,375 --> 00:26:10,083 Now come on. 539 00:26:10,084 --> 00:26:11,418 I have dinner to make. 540 00:26:11,419 --> 00:26:12,927 You got cases to solve. 541 00:26:18,675 --> 00:26:23,887 Feeling someone's gonna murder some tater tots tonight. 542 00:26:23,888 --> 00:26:30,516 That's no mystery at all. 543 00:26:38,185 --> 00:26:39,420 Next week, on The Butcher and 544 00:26:39,421 --> 00:26:41,990 The Baker, when a new detective on the Bayou disappears, and 545 00:26:41,991 --> 00:26:45,115 Butcher is the prime suspect, it's up to Shirley to cook up some answers. 546 00:26:45,116 --> 00:26:55,116 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 547 00:27:21,037 --> 00:27:21,953 Did you get any of that? 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net