1
00:00:00,006 --> 00:00:05,174
Yahoo!

2
00:00:05,175 --> 00:00:06,754
Chomsky, come here.

3
00:00:06,755 --> 00:00:08,297
Come here, Chomsky.

4
00:00:08,298 --> 00:00:10,209
Abed, I'm really sorry.

5
00:00:10,210 --> 00:00:11,109
I told you cats don't like me.

6
00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:12,929
They consider me a competitor
because of my natural

7
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,309
stealth and ambivalence.

8
00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:17,419
Oh, did she get high again and
forget she doesn't wear contacts?

9
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:19,439
Before Britta moved her
cats into our apartment,

10
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,839
she wanted to introduce them
to us on neutral ground.

11
00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:25,419
One of them scratched Abed
and ran under the couch.

12
00:00:25,420 --> 00:00:26,469
Oh, I'll get it.

13
00:00:26,470 --> 00:00:26,990
Cats love me.

14
00:00:28,090 --> 00:00:28,684
What? Are you sure?

15
00:00:28,685 --> 00:00:30,595
Mm-hm.

16
00:00:30,596 --> 00:00:33,590
Hello there.

17
00:00:33,591 --> 00:00:35,066
Well, she is.

18
00:00:35,067 --> 00:00:36,539
Is it a he or a she?

19
00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:39,550
He. Well, he's really got his
teeth in my flesh right now.

20
00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:42,388
Okay, he's touching bone.

21
00:00:44,850 --> 00:00:45,919
I'm just waiting for him to finish up.

22
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,270
Not a lot I can do at this point.

23
00:00:49,270 --> 00:00:50,550
This was a pretty big mistake.

24
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:52,529
Okay.

25
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:55,949
This is done.

26
00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:57,911
Oh.

27
00:00:57,912 --> 00:00:59,259
See you tomorrow.

28
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,621
I'm pretty embarrassed about this.

29
00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:02,199
Chomsky.

30
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,239
I didn't know Britta was
moving in with Annie and Abed.

31
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,359
That's-. Expository?

32
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,869
Yeah, Britta's fallen on hard times and

33
00:01:07,870 --> 00:01:09,989
our apartment is the cheapest game in town.

34
00:01:09,990 --> 00:01:13,190
Abed, it's a little embarrassing
when you put it that way.

35
00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:16,249
Britta's a rich genius
with super powers and

36
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,779
she's gonna live on our sofa for no reason.

37
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:19,649
Oh, no.

38
00:01:19,650 --> 00:01:22,149
Dinosaurs. My tax documents.

39
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,157
Facts about Native Americans.

40
00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:25,749
Just kidding.

41
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:29,610
Guess what I just purchased for the
school from a local manufacturer,

42
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:32,758
Greendale's first virtual
reality operating system.

43
00:01:33,572 --> 00:01:36,857
Did Greendale need a
virtual reality system?

44
00:01:36,858 --> 00:01:38,779
Like a hole in the head.

45
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,829
A hole in the head is something
that you don't need.

46
00:01:42,830 --> 00:01:44,960
She said through a huge hole in her head.

47
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:47,539
Didn't VR go out in the 90s?

48
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:50,629
The last people I saw using it
were in the Honeycomb Hideout.

49
00:01:50,630 --> 00:01:52,119
We mock what we don't understand.

50
00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:53,289
We also mock what's silly.

51
00:01:53,290 --> 00:01:55,631
Jeffrey. Abed, you're
more machine than man.

52
00:01:55,632 --> 00:01:57,769
You wanna give me a hand setting
up the equipment after lunch?

53
00:01:57,770 --> 00:02:00,051
We're all going to help Britta
move into our place today.

54
00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:02,319
Jeffrey?

55
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,009
Britta, something's come up.

56
00:02:04,010 --> 00:02:04,559
I'd love to.

57
00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,819
Oh, yeah, yeah, at least you don't
have to bust out your usual excuse.

58
00:02:07,820 --> 00:02:10,499
You don't know for sure that I'm not
a veteran, and nobody can say for

59
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:11,719
sure that today isn't Veteran's Day.

60
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,989
Hi. I got bit by a cat.

61
00:02:14,990 --> 00:02:15,590
Chang, we know.

62
00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:19,489
Why are you guys and all these
books in the nurse's office?

63
00:02:37,329 --> 00:02:47,891
Corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

64
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:55,349
Dean, where did you get this, and
for how much of the school's money?

65
00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:57,181
Relax, my little bean countess.

66
00:02:57,182 --> 00:02:58,387
Don't worry about it.

67
00:02:58,388 --> 00:03:00,918
You pay me to worry about that.

68
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,661
Oh, and how much do I pay you?

69
00:03:02,662 --> 00:03:03,543
That's you.

70
00:03:03,544 --> 00:03:06,445
It was only $5000.

71
00:03:06,446 --> 00:03:07,026
What?

72
00:03:07,027 --> 00:03:11,007
Frankie, jack me up.

73
00:03:11,008 --> 00:03:14,408
I would like to see this company's website.

74
00:03:14,409 --> 00:03:15,883
Can I use your computer?

75
00:03:15,884 --> 00:03:16,985
Sure.

76
00:03:16,986 --> 00:03:23,660
Have fun in the Stone Age while I
step into the third dean-mension.

77
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:24,408
Width?

78
00:03:24,409 --> 00:03:26,499
Read the instructions, analog man.

79
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:30,499
When entering virtual reality, you
should calibrate the system by looking

80
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:33,279
at your own hands, then
turning them over and

81
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:37,309
looking at the backs of them
with a sense of wonder.

82
00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:38,528
Roger that.

83
00:03:38,529 --> 00:03:43,343
To the virtue good 6500.

84
00:03:43,344 --> 00:03:47,105
Oh.

85
00:03:47,106 --> 00:03:49,589
Initiate calibration.

86
00:03:49,590 --> 00:03:52,631
It's incredible.

87
00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:54,210
I can see all around.

88
00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,580
I gotta take a closer look at
these structures, they're!

89
00:04:00,581 --> 00:04:03,983
I'm walking!

90
00:04:03,984 --> 00:04:06,501
I am walking.

91
00:04:06,502 --> 00:04:10,170
My God.

92
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:21,385
I know what this is.

93
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:28,084
I set the time zone.

94
00:04:28,085 --> 00:04:30,706
I set the time zone.

95
00:04:30,707 --> 00:04:32,518
And my phone does that automatically.

96
00:04:32,519 --> 00:04:35,744
I'm gonna see if I can
make the font bigger.

97
00:04:43,618 --> 00:04:46,162
The font is larger.

98
00:04:46,163 --> 00:04:51,960
And Jesus wept, for there were

99
00:04:51,961 --> 00:04:57,098
no more worlds to conquer.

100
00:04:57,099 --> 00:04:58,723
Thank you, guys, again, so much.

101
00:04:58,724 --> 00:05:00,513
I know that I already owe you you money but

102
00:05:00,514 --> 00:05:03,514
I want you to know that I got a new
bartending job with better hours and

103
00:05:03,515 --> 00:05:06,849
free corn nuts which I feel like have
a small but significant resale value.

104
00:05:06,850 --> 00:05:11,826
I feel like everybody's talking about
that haircut I gave Vicki, so-.

105
00:05:11,827 --> 00:05:12,971
Oh, Britta.

106
00:05:12,972 --> 00:05:14,741
Can I-
It's okay.

107
00:05:14,742 --> 00:05:17,099
Do I do this too? Okay. This is going
to be good for all of us, right?

108
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,090
It's like a fresh start.

109
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:21,909
Oh, did you guys get a new couch?

110
00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:22,664
We got it for you.

111
00:05:22,665 --> 00:05:23,953
It has a pull-out.

112
00:05:23,954 --> 00:05:26,110
You guys.

113
00:05:26,991 --> 00:05:28,690
I wanted a Murphy bed for shenanigans but

114
00:05:28,691 --> 00:05:30,299
the cost to shenanigan ratio was too high.

115
00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:32,021
How did you guys afford this?

116
00:05:32,022 --> 00:05:32,592
Don't worry.

117
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:35,018
We got a good deal.

118
00:05:35,019 --> 00:05:36,082
For pick up, Perry.

119
00:05:36,083 --> 00:05:38,892
Why's my name on here?

120
00:05:38,893 --> 00:05:41,063
Because we got it for you.

121
00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:42,719
And we told the sales guy that.

122
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:46,179
So. So he put your friend's
name on the delivery slip?

123
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,519
That seems weird, right?

124
00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:53,219
Roommate movie night!

125
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,560
Roommate movie night, yay!

126
00:05:57,850 --> 00:05:58,509
Portuguese Gremlins.

127
00:05:58,510 --> 00:05:59,510
Portuguese Gremlins, ooh.

128
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,870
It's Portugal's answer to Gremlins
if Gremlins' question was how can

129
00:06:02,871 --> 00:06:04,466
you totally rip us off without
spending any money and

130
00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:05,455
having watched us maybe twice?

131
00:06:05,456 --> 00:06:08,625
That's what the
Portuguese Gremlins say, right?

132
00:06:08,626 --> 00:06:09,797
It's close enough.

133
00:06:18,018 --> 00:06:19,480
I did it.

134
00:06:19,481 --> 00:06:20,641
It's 2:39.

135
00:06:20,642 --> 00:06:23,266
That was the time when you
started setting the time.

136
00:06:23,267 --> 00:06:25,098
It's 20 minutes later now.

137
00:06:25,099 --> 00:06:26,398
The power.

138
00:06:26,399 --> 00:06:27,942
The facility.

139
00:06:27,943 --> 00:06:29,277
Jesus wept.

140
00:06:29,278 --> 00:06:30,740
Stop saying Jesus wept.

141
00:06:30,741 --> 00:06:34,879
Dean, here's something fun
you might want to try.

142
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:39,113
Let's see if we can find the
serial number to this system.

143
00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:40,576
Oh, that could be fun.

144
00:06:40,577 --> 00:06:43,119
So go to Settings.

145
00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,869
Is settings the volcano or
the cobbler's workshop?

146
00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:47,317
It's a monastery.

147
00:06:48,385 --> 00:06:51,829
I feel the power.

148
00:06:51,830 --> 00:06:53,995
Hut.

149
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:57,508
Hut.  Hut.

150
00:06:57,509 --> 00:06:59,342
Welcome to Settings.

151
00:07:01,352 --> 00:07:04,249
Oh.

152
00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:07,010
Your majesty, the filing tabs.

153
00:07:08,870 --> 00:07:11,357
You're looking for one
called purchase info.

154
00:07:11,358 --> 00:07:18,209
Hit, yeah, ah-ha.

155
00:07:18,210 --> 00:07:20,469
These cabinets would never be
this easy to climb in real life.

156
00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:22,029
This is the future of scrolling.

157
00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,500
My world is officially boundless.

158
00:07:23,501 --> 00:07:24,650
Ha!

159
00:07:24,651 --> 00:07:25,869
I'm here.

160
00:07:25,870 --> 00:07:29,024
Inside that drawer should be
a file called serial number.

161
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,340
I've got it!

162
00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:39,141
All right.

163
00:07:39,142 --> 00:07:41,005
Now you just have to print that file out.

164
00:07:41,006 --> 00:07:44,869
You can do that by dragging it to the
accessories and peripherals castle,

165
00:07:44,870 --> 00:07:46,940
and planting it in the printer driver.

166
00:07:49,725 --> 00:07:51,175
What's so funny?

167
00:07:51,176 --> 00:07:52,940
I mean, besides everything?

168
00:07:52,941 --> 00:07:56,233
I have no intention of
returning this system.

169
00:07:56,234 --> 00:08:01,199
On the contrary, I intend to keep it.

170
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:02,198
Dear God.

171
00:08:02,199 --> 00:08:06,501
Delete!

172
00:08:06,502 --> 00:08:08,916
One file selected.

173
00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:09,624
Oh.

174
00:08:09,625 --> 00:08:11,633
Hold on.

175
00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:15,952
File sorted.

176
00:08:15,953 --> 00:08:16,637
What?

177
00:08:16,638 --> 00:08:18,297
Oh come on.

178
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,052
Yeah.

179
00:08:19,053 --> 00:08:20,340
Come here you little.

180
00:08:34,273 --> 00:08:36,443
File deleted.

181
00:08:36,444 --> 00:08:38,858
Jesus wept!

182
00:08:38,859 --> 00:08:41,354
He deleted the serial number,
Jeff, help me out here.

183
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,956
I don't get paid enough for this.

184
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:45,432
How much do you think you're going to
get paid if I have to find five grand

185
00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:45,994
in the budget?

186
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:51,129
You're not the new Annie.

187
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:51,649
You're the new Abed.

188
00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:52,980
I don't know what that means yet.

189
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:58,879
So are the gremlins supposed to
be the good guys in this version?

190
00:08:58,880 --> 00:08:59,659
The blue ones are.

191
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:02,209
The green ones are bad and the red
ones are kind of like isolationists.

192
00:09:02,210 --> 00:09:03,261
It's a metaphor for World War II.

193
00:09:03,262 --> 00:09:04,213
Ooh.

194
00:09:04,214 --> 00:09:07,389
Alma, I will be right back,
I left something in my car.

195
00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:13,189
Oh..

196
00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:16,769
Hi, yes, I picked up a sofa
from your store, recently.

197
00:09:16,770 --> 00:09:18,364
The last name is Perry.

198
00:09:18,365 --> 00:09:22,822
Mm-hm.

199
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:26,491
What?

200
00:09:26,492 --> 00:09:28,952
Are you strong or angry?

201
00:09:28,953 --> 00:09:30,543
My parents?

202
00:09:30,544 --> 00:09:33,341
My parents bought that couch?

203
00:09:33,342 --> 00:09:34,920
Explain yourselves!

204
00:09:34,921 --> 00:09:37,253
Well, are we, okay.

205
00:09:37,254 --> 00:09:40,887
They kind of reached out to us on Facebook.

206
00:09:40,888 --> 00:09:42,829
What? You know I don't talk to them.

207
00:09:42,830 --> 00:09:44,249
Well, yeah.

208
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,100
That's why they talk to us.

209
00:09:46,101 --> 00:09:49,514
They knew you wouldn't let them
help you, at least not directly.

210
00:09:49,515 --> 00:09:51,411
Oh my god. Oh my god.

211
00:09:51,412 --> 00:09:54,290
You needed our help, but we
needed their help to help you.

212
00:09:54,291 --> 00:09:55,869
That's why we were able to get you
such a good deal on the rent.

213
00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:57,982
They're supplementing my rent too?

214
00:09:57,983 --> 00:09:59,073
Mm-hm.

215
00:09:59,074 --> 00:10:02,231
You make them sound like monsters,
but they're actually really nice.

216
00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:13,144
Well, they are!

217
00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:15,071
My parents are horrible people.

218
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:15,837
You're being dramatic.

219
00:10:15,838 --> 00:10:16,719
Oh yeah.

220
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,443
That's what people say when
they take your soul, and

221
00:10:20,444 --> 00:10:24,591
they rip it out of your chest and
then shove it in your mouth.

222
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:32,741
I got bit by a cat.

223
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,777
I will create more worlds.

224
00:10:39,778 --> 00:10:42,696
And those worlds will have worlds.

225
00:10:42,697 --> 00:10:46,110
They're file folders,
stop calling them worlds.

226
00:10:46,111 --> 00:10:47,131
I found an address.

227
00:10:47,132 --> 00:10:51,473
Elroy Ptasnik, founder of
Virtu Good technologies.

228
00:10:51,474 --> 00:10:52,054
All right.

229
00:10:52,055 --> 00:10:54,659
I'll go see if I can get
the school's money back.

230
00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,650
You keep White Morpheus inside the matrix.

231
00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:00,839
Jeff.

232
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,179
Britta. You look distraught.

233
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:04,979
You have ten seconds to tell me
it's not about stupid politics.

234
00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:06,309
I just found out that Annie and

235
00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:08,229
Abed have been cheating
on me with my parents.

236
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:11,679
They've been sabotaging my life from
the shadows by paying off my debts and

237
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:12,739
buying me things.

238
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:13,259
Thank God.

239
00:11:13,260 --> 00:11:14,399
What are you?

240
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,109
Thank God?

241
00:11:15,110 --> 00:11:16,949
The charade can finally end.

242
00:11:16,950 --> 00:11:18,969
Now you know everything
you thought you owed us,

243
00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,759
you can actually just
owe to Deb and George.

244
00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,059
Deb and George?

245
00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:24,309
You know my parents too?

246
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:25,269
Since when?

247
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:27,759
I don't know, since
thousands of dollars ago?

248
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:28,549
I'm bad with dates.

249
00:11:28,550 --> 00:11:31,709
I remember the New Year's
glasses having zeros for eyes.

250
00:11:31,710 --> 00:11:33,119
And when did Stella get her groove back?

251
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,459
You've all been lying to me for years.

252
00:11:35,460 --> 00:11:37,169
What kind of friends are you?

253
00:11:37,170 --> 00:11:37,839
Poor.

254
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,239
We're poor friends.

255
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,109
And you mooch off us
because you're too proud

256
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:42,629
to use your own support system.

257
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:44,699
What kind of friend are you?

258
00:11:44,700 --> 00:11:47,689
And having met them, what
were you rebelling against?

259
00:11:47,690 --> 00:11:50,549
Was it generosity,
whimsical game nights, or

260
00:11:50,550 --> 00:11:52,999
delicious lobster bacon mashed potatoes?

261
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,819
You ate the potatoes?

262
00:11:54,820 --> 00:11:55,999
You, you don't even eat carbs.

263
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,449
I eat love, Britta.

264
00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,010
Hot, delicious love that you were
willing to wipe your ass with.

265
00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:01,280
Oh, my God.

266
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,749
I have no friends.

267
00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,229
Can we not be so dramatic about this?

268
00:12:06,230 --> 00:12:08,710
There are people in this
world with serious problems.

269
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,180
Chang, go see the nurse!

270
00:12:15,150 --> 00:12:15,700
I'm trying.

271
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:29,579
Yeah? Elroy Ptasnik?

272
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:32,489
Who's asking? Well, that's always a yes.

273
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,049
Nobody ever says, who's
asking, to the wrong name.

274
00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:35,779
They just say, that's not my name.

275
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:39,149
When my phone rings and I say hello,
and they say, is Pablo there?

276
00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:42,179
I don't say, who's asking,
I say, wrong number.

277
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:43,999
You're a clever young man.

278
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,117
I'm 40. Come in.

279
00:12:45,118 --> 00:12:49,946
So?

280
00:12:49,947 --> 00:12:54,739
You sold a Virtu Good 6500 to Craig
Pelton at Greendale Community College,

281
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,250
and we need to return it.

282
00:12:57,260 --> 00:12:58,269
I'll need the serial number.

283
00:12:58,270 --> 00:13:00,551
He deleted the serial number
because he loves the system.

284
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:02,529
So what's the problem?

285
00:13:02,530 --> 00:13:05,889
The problem is in order to copy a file,
you have to throw a fireball at it,

286
00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:09,499
then absorb the fire, then drop the
flaming file into a crystal lake,

287
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:12,189
then take out both copies and throw
them into the side of a mountain.

288
00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:13,030
Worlds within worlds.

289
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,519
That doesn't mean anything.

290
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,619
I can copy a file by holding
my finger down on a phone.

291
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:18,639
Well, so can a monkey.

292
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:21,460
Now, you're describing
a system for animals.

293
00:13:22,110 --> 00:13:24,880
Terrestrial slobs bound to the
earth by their meaty feet.

294
00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:28,619
I designed a system for gods.

295
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:29,349
Oh, come on.

296
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,309
You know what you've done.

297
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,949
You know how lame virtual reality is.

298
00:13:32,950 --> 00:13:35,319
You know the damage it
caused mid-90s cinema.

299
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,989
I mean, Michael Douglas walking
around like a jackass,

300
00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:40,279
moving files with a magic glove?

301
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:40,949
Lawnmower Man?

302
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:42,389
Did you see Lawnmower Man?

303
00:13:42,390 --> 00:13:44,879
You bet your sweet ass I saw Lawnmower Man.

304
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:45,929
I consulted on it.

305
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:47,479
Took Brigitte Nielsen to the premiere.

306
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,429
We were building worlds within worlds.

307
00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:52,519
And now you're living in homes within
campers within parking lots, and

308
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:56,429
using an iPad to clearly design what
looks like a ripoff of Angry Birds.

309
00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:56,930
Get out.

310
00:13:58,540 --> 00:13:59,109
Get out of my Winnebago!

311
00:13:59,110 --> 00:14:02,259
You're not allowed to say
that like it's a punishment.

312
00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:05,079
I know what it's like to
lie for a living, Elroy!

313
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,430
And you should know, it
feels better to stop.

314
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:15,641
And my feet aren't meaty!

315
00:14:24,361 --> 00:14:26,685
. Britta, honey.

316
00:14:26,686 --> 00:14:27,822
An unexpected treat.

317
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:31,171
This is a check for all the dirty
money you have used to control and

318
00:14:31,172 --> 00:14:32,857
monitor me without my consent.

319
00:14:32,858 --> 00:14:34,158
But we're not gonna cash this.

320
00:14:34,159 --> 00:14:34,808
Well you can't.

321
00:14:34,809 --> 00:14:36,108
I postdated it a year.

322
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:39,111
And in that year, I'm gonna get a new job,

323
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:43,969
new friends, in a new city where you
and your spies can never find me.

324
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:44,599
Oh, please.

325
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,839
Don't do this.

326
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,231
What choice do you leave me?

327
00:14:47,232 --> 00:14:51,179
Who acts this dishonestly
towards their own daughter?

328
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:52,711
What choice do you leave us?

329
00:14:52,712 --> 00:14:56,310
I mean, every time we get
too close, you run off.

330
00:14:56,311 --> 00:14:59,087
We sent you a birthday card to
your apartment in New York, and

331
00:14:59,088 --> 00:15:02,038
then next week you're setting fire
to a Jamba Juice in San Jose.

332
00:15:02,039 --> 00:15:04,099
How long is that gonna stick with me?

333
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:07,135
Until arson is legal, sweetie,
but your father's point is,

334
00:15:07,136 --> 00:15:10,185
we've arrived at the closest
relationship you can tolerate.

335
00:15:10,186 --> 00:15:10,731
Mm-hm.

336
00:15:10,732 --> 00:15:15,111
We've learned, after a decade,
how to love and admire and

337
00:15:15,112 --> 00:15:20,294
finance you from afar, through your
friends, and the social media.

338
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,913
The Tinder and the like.

339
00:15:21,914 --> 00:15:23,819
It's called Tumblr, dad.

340
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,959
No, I mean Tinder.

341
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:29,110
It's a matchmaking app, and by
the way, if you were on Tinder-.

342
00:15:29,111 --> 00:15:32,009
Your mom and I think
you'd be the prettiest.

343
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:35,769
Absolutely, the boys
would be swiping right.

344
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:36,549
Or girls! Yes!

345
00:15:36,550 --> 00:15:37,999
Whatever makes you happy.

346
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,149
Totally.

347
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,819
What has happened to you two?

348
00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:45,349
Who are these doddering
open-minded geezers?

349
00:15:45,350 --> 00:15:47,999
Where are the people who wouldn't
let me dress up like Prince for

350
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:48,679
Halloween?

351
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:52,709
Or told me that the cat ran
away because I tried alcohol?

352
00:15:52,710 --> 00:15:57,399
Or had me drug tested when I
was 11 because they said I was

353
00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:59,075
laughing too much?

354
00:15:59,076 --> 00:16:02,862
We are definitely sorry
about all of that stuff.

355
00:16:02,863 --> 00:16:05,497
Quite frankly, we don't
remember that stuff.

356
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,634
Oh, it's true.

357
00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:09,323
Woodstock, oh!

358
00:16:09,324 --> 00:16:10,116
Oh, my god.

359
00:16:10,117 --> 00:16:11,837
. I remember Woodstock!

360
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:14,860
Woodstock was amazing  but

361
00:16:14,861 --> 00:16:19,248
you have to realize, Britta,
that your Woodstock,

362
00:16:19,249 --> 00:16:24,239
which was us being bad parents,
that has more to do with you.

363
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,399
So that's what you remember, see?

364
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,942
Mm-hm.

365
00:16:28,943 --> 00:16:30,602
Where are they?

366
00:16:30,603 --> 00:16:31,601
Hm. I'm sorry.

367
00:16:31,602 --> 00:16:34,906
Get out here!

368
00:16:34,907 --> 00:16:37,274
Britta, let me explain.

369
00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:41,449
We were worried about you,
so we just came over.

370
00:16:41,450 --> 00:16:45,169
You can explain to each other in hell.

371
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,809
Friends don't visit each other's parents.

372
00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:52,502
I hope you have a wonderful life.

373
00:17:00,456 --> 00:17:03,393
Oh.

374
00:17:03,394 --> 00:17:04,427
George, George, yes.

375
00:17:04,428 --> 00:17:07,119
Britta, at least take some
money and fix your car!

376
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,259
Or at least get a cab, or

377
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,599
there are apps we can call
where strangers pick you up.

378
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,179
I don't want your help.

379
00:17:12,180 --> 00:17:13,957
Stop infantilizing me!

380
00:17:13,958 --> 00:17:15,306
Hey, stop.

381
00:17:15,307 --> 00:17:16,035
Stop!

382
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,899
Get out of here.

383
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:18,608
Hey!

384
00:17:22,869 --> 00:17:24,447
Green Machine, nice.

385
00:17:24,448 --> 00:17:27,189
Here, Greg, here, take some cash.

386
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:29,128
Holy crap!

387
00:17:29,129 --> 00:17:31,380
What's her problem?

388
00:17:31,381 --> 00:17:32,711
She's growing up.

389
00:17:38,796 --> 00:17:44,676
Oh my god.

390
00:17:44,677 --> 00:17:47,555
I put a tilde on this n!

391
00:17:47,556 --> 00:17:51,096
I can do anything.

392
00:17:53,314 --> 00:17:55,403
Any luck?

393
00:17:55,404 --> 00:17:59,200
Ugh, I'm going home.

394
00:17:59,201 --> 00:18:04,445
Oh, and to warn you, he joked about
wanting a pee jar earlier and

395
00:18:04,446 --> 00:18:07,861
it's gradually becoming less of a joke.

396
00:18:07,862 --> 00:18:09,335
Hey, Dean.

397
00:18:09,336 --> 00:18:11,495
I'm coming over and I'm
pulling you out of there.

398
00:18:11,496 --> 00:18:12,087
I'll bite you.

399
00:18:12,088 --> 00:18:12,702
I'll beat you up.

400
00:18:12,703 --> 00:18:15,616
I'll like it and then I'll fire you
and then I'll get right back in it.

401
00:18:15,617 --> 00:18:16,916
I'll still get to beat you up.

402
00:18:16,917 --> 00:18:17,417
Hold it.

403
00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:19,923
Hold it.

404
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:20,875
Who is that?

405
00:18:20,876 --> 00:18:22,378
I recognize that baritone voice and

406
00:18:22,379 --> 00:18:24,414
the scent of Tic Tacs with
a tinge of Naugahyde.

407
00:18:24,415 --> 00:18:27,723
It's Elroy Patashnik.

408
00:18:27,724 --> 00:18:29,619
The architect.

409
00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:32,540
Listen, I've come to tell you something
very important about this system.

410
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,731
It's lame.

411
00:18:36,732 --> 00:18:38,403
What?

412
00:18:38,404 --> 00:18:42,533
I wasted your time with it and 10
crucial years of America's time.

413
00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:44,391
I'm giving Mr. Williams your refund.

414
00:18:44,392 --> 00:18:45,656
I don't want a refund.

415
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:51,452
I wanna stay in here forever
and you can't stop me.

416
00:18:51,453 --> 00:18:52,996
Die.

417
00:18:57,292 --> 00:18:59,172
How long has he been in there?

418
00:18:59,173 --> 00:19:00,507
Four hours.

419
00:19:00,508 --> 00:19:04,166
Oh, I was thinking weeks.

420
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:07,849
Ha. Yep!

421
00:19:07,850 --> 00:19:11,681
This guy runs your school?

422
00:19:11,682 --> 00:19:18,566
To use a phrase I coined
in the 90s,  I'm going in.

423
00:19:18,567 --> 00:19:19,610
You coined that?

424
00:19:19,611 --> 00:19:23,525
Oh yeah, lock and load.

425
00:19:23,526 --> 00:19:25,824
That's mine too.

426
00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:30,523
All right.

427
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:32,160
I'm awake.

428
00:19:32,161 --> 00:19:33,367
Aah!

429
00:19:33,368 --> 00:19:34,830
Oh my God!

430
00:19:34,831 --> 00:19:36,792
I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

431
00:19:36,793 --> 00:19:38,534
What are you doing in my car?

432
00:19:38,535 --> 00:19:41,088
I didn't have anywhere else to go.

433
00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:42,780
No where else but my car?

434
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:50,326
Do you know how big the planet is?

435
00:19:50,327 --> 00:19:53,948
What is going on, Britta?

436
00:19:53,949 --> 00:19:56,452
My friends, they all think
my parents are adorable, and

437
00:19:56,453 --> 00:19:58,746
they think that I'm the bad
guy for hating them, but

438
00:19:58,747 --> 00:20:01,999
I have a right to hate them, cuz I
had to be there when they sucked.

439
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,459
Yeah.

440
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:04,419
Jimmy Fallon syndrome.

441
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:05,869
I get it.

442
00:20:05,870 --> 00:20:07,699
I had that with my parents, too.

443
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:08,350
You did? Yeah.

444
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:14,639
You know, one of the most unfair
lessons we're forced to learn

445
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,199
is that our parents are human beings.

446
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,799
We wanna think of them as gods or

447
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,519
demons, because then that
would make us heroes.

448
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,879
But give me a break.

449
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:24,680
We all suck.

450
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,551
What can I do to help you tonight, Brita?

451
00:20:31,477 --> 00:20:34,982
How many quarters were in this cup holder?

452
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:37,026
The same amount.

453
00:20:38,582 --> 00:20:39,324
Oh, yeah.

454
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:40,207
Calibrated.

455
00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:40,903
Welcome.

456
00:20:40,904 --> 00:20:43,109
No, go away!

457
00:20:43,110 --> 00:20:45,361
Preferences grow.

458
00:20:49,101 --> 00:20:51,670
No, no, no.

459
00:20:51,671 --> 00:20:52,738
Let go of me.

460
00:20:52,739 --> 00:20:55,710
Do you really want the power of a god?

461
00:20:55,711 --> 00:20:57,800
Yes, more than anything.

462
00:20:57,801 --> 00:21:01,439
Should I order dinner, cuz a lot of
good delivery places are closing?

463
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:02,179
I know how you feel.

464
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:06,819
The sadder reality, the
less real we want it.

465
00:21:06,820 --> 00:21:08,309
I just wanna be a good dean.

466
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:12,149
I can give you a device
that will accomplish that.

467
00:21:12,150 --> 00:21:13,299
Oh!

468
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:15,961
You can use this to manipulate worlds.

469
00:21:15,962 --> 00:21:17,798
Flick of a wrist.

470
00:21:17,799 --> 00:21:21,188
Ha!

471
00:21:21,189 --> 00:21:25,042
My god, it's incredible!

472
00:21:25,043 --> 00:21:25,785
Now!

473
00:21:28,758 --> 00:21:29,361
What's happening.

474
00:21:29,362 --> 00:21:30,034
No!

475
00:21:30,035 --> 00:21:31,660
Ow. I wanna go back in.

476
00:21:31,661 --> 00:21:33,285
I want to be back in there.

477
00:21:33,286 --> 00:21:34,516
I want to be-.

478
00:21:34,517 --> 00:21:35,026
Here.

479
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:35,746
Here.

480
00:21:35,747 --> 00:21:37,279
Here's your power.

481
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:38,323
Yeah.

482
00:21:38,324 --> 00:21:42,735
Now, manipulate worlds.

483
00:21:42,736 --> 00:21:45,103
Yeah.

484
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:47,425
He'll be back to his old self in an hour.

485
00:21:47,426 --> 00:21:51,071
Great, do you have a way to fix that?

486
00:21:56,598 --> 00:22:00,985
Seriously, though, thank you.

487
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:01,844
Mm hm.

488
00:22:07,023 --> 00:22:08,787
Brita, we were so worried.

489
00:22:08,788 --> 00:22:09,971
What happened to the kids Green Machine?

490
00:22:09,972 --> 00:22:10,691
What?

491
00:22:10,692 --> 00:22:11,629
I, I don't know.

492
00:22:11,630 --> 00:22:12,289
I ditched it.

493
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:13,929
Where and how long ago?

494
00:22:13,930 --> 00:22:15,739
Okay, assume that's not
what's important here.

495
00:22:15,740 --> 00:22:16,959
Brita, we-.

496
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:17,509
It's okay, Dad.

497
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:19,719
I have something that I wanna say.

498
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:23,065
I ran away from home at 17
to become an adult, but

499
00:22:23,066 --> 00:22:26,651
maybe all that did was leave
a part of me stuck at 17,

500
00:22:26,652 --> 00:22:31,135
the part that tends to run away when
I am confronted with the truth.

501
00:22:31,136 --> 00:22:32,552
The truth is good, Brita.

502
00:22:32,553 --> 00:22:33,713
Mom, shut up!

503
00:22:33,714 --> 00:22:35,249
Frankie taught me something important.

504
00:22:35,250 --> 00:22:39,929
It doesn't matter how mature we
are or what resentments we carry.

505
00:22:39,930 --> 00:22:45,944
All that matters is that
we're all going to die.

506
00:22:45,945 --> 00:22:50,402
You have a lovely home.

507
00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:51,029
Thank you.

508
00:22:51,030 --> 00:22:52,859
So, we're really getting our daughter back?

509
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:54,669
Yeah, but it's not gonna
be that big of a deal.

510
00:22:54,670 --> 00:22:56,179
I mean, you guys missed the good years.

511
00:22:56,180 --> 00:22:58,099
Now, it's just gonna be
margaritas, Pottery Barn,

512
00:22:58,100 --> 00:23:01,969
fighting our family's tendency toward
obesity as we slide into oblivion.

513
00:23:01,970 --> 00:23:04,549
First you guys, and then
me quickly thereafter.

514
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:05,620
Well, I'll drink to that.

515
00:23:05,621 --> 00:23:12,517
Oh, Abed.

516
00:23:12,518 --> 00:23:13,770
Benjamin.

517
00:23:13,771 --> 00:23:15,883
I got bit by a cat, Deb.

518
00:23:15,884 --> 00:23:18,205
No!

519
00:23:18,206 --> 00:23:21,920
I'll get the antibiotics.

520
00:23:21,921 --> 00:23:24,126
Thank you for the refund, Elroy.

521
00:23:24,127 --> 00:23:25,366
No, thank you for

522
00:23:25,367 --> 00:23:29,519
one last taste of what it was
like when my work was valuable.

523
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,379
Oh, it's still valuable.

524
00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:38,062
Here, $500 for the taste
I got of being powerful.

525
00:23:41,221 --> 00:23:43,333
Dean, the school can't afford 500-.

526
00:23:43,334 --> 00:23:47,071
Wait for it.

527
00:23:47,072 --> 00:23:49,602
I have no idea what to do
with the rest of my life now.

528
00:23:49,603 --> 00:23:55,778
We offer a wide variety of classes.

529
00:23:55,779 --> 00:23:58,580
And that, my friend, is
the Greendale effect.

530
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,090
I'll never get out of here, will I?

531
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,354
I haven't met many that do.

532
00:24:05,355 --> 00:24:09,537
Let's walk arm in arm.

533
00:24:09,538 --> 00:24:13,903
There are times when change
needs to be different,

534
00:24:13,904 --> 00:24:17,873
then there's changes
that are more the same.

535
00:24:17,874 --> 00:24:22,589
But the same changes don't tend to be
different than the changes that came

536
00:24:22,590 --> 00:24:23,206
before.

537
00:24:23,207 --> 00:24:26,313
If you change everything that's different,

538
00:24:26,314 --> 00:24:29,986
sometimes you find out
everything's still the same.

539
00:24:29,987 --> 00:24:37,974
As for me, I'm just changing
everything that's different.

540
00:24:37,975 --> 00:24:40,458
Change.

541
00:25:05,482 --> 00:25:08,024
_

542
00:25:08,025 --> 00:25:09,908
_

543
00:25:10,028 --> 00:25:11,284
_

544
00:25:13,738 --> 00:25:16,592
_

545
00:25:16,712 --> 00:25:19,120
_

546
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:21,760
_

547
00:25:23,161 --> 00:25:25,468
_

548
00:25:25,588 --> 00:25:27,415
_

549
00:25:32,332 --> 00:25:34,301
_

550
00:25:35,555 --> 00:25:38,051
_

551
00:25:38,052 --> 00:25:39,339
_

552
00:25:39,340 --> 00:25:41,807
_

553
00:25:43,471 --> 00:25:45,123
_

554
00:25:45,243 --> 00:25:47,826
_

555
00:25:48,141 --> 00:25:53,027
Aah!

556
00:25:53,028 --> 00:25:55,867
_

557
00:25:55,868 --> 00:26:00,212
_

558
00:26:00,213 --> 00:26:01,624
_

559
00:26:02,337 --> 00:26:03,176
_

560
00:26:08,004 --> 00:26:12,716
_

561
00:26:12,836 --> 00:26:13,947
_

562
00:26:14,338 --> 00:26:24,402
Corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com

563
00:26:49,128 --> 00:26:50,091
Did you get any of that?

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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