1
00:00:05,211 --> 00:00:10,110
"Always scare Daniel-san,
Miyagi hate fighting."
2
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,590
"Miyagi hate fighting."
3
00:00:12,860 --> 00:00:14,380
- Line?
- "Yeah, but you like karate."
4
00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:17,142
Right, right, yeah, but,
y... you like karate though.
5
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:17,930
So?
6
00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:22,840
- Line.
- Chang, the audition's at 3.00.
7
00:00:22,841 --> 00:00:25,150
Maybe I shouldn't go, you
know, maybe I'm a bad actor.
8
00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:30,510
Being good is a fraction of acting.
It takes discipline and confidence.
9
00:00:30,511 --> 00:00:34,135
Discipline, confidence. Okay from the top.
10
00:00:34,136 --> 00:00:37,630
"Always scare Daniel-san.
Miyagi hate fighting."
11
00:00:37,631 --> 00:00:38,990
Line.
12
00:00:38,991 --> 00:00:40,340
I heard Karate Kid quotes.
13
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:44,160
Chang is auditioning for the stage
adaptation of Karate Kid downtown.
14
00:00:44,161 --> 00:00:47,090
Yeah, and it's for the
part of Daniel LaRusso.
15
00:00:47,091 --> 00:00:50,560
- You got a problem with that, racist?
- No, you're acting now?
16
00:00:50,561 --> 00:00:54,400
- Yeah, you got a problem with that?
- I'm clear.
17
00:00:54,401 --> 00:00:56,840
They took my snake, and they
turned it into a plumber.
18
00:00:56,841 --> 00:00:58,710
They made the eggs, into barrels.
19
00:00:58,711 --> 00:01:01,800
The pine tree they made into a
gorilla, but I recognized my design.
20
00:01:01,801 --> 00:01:02,860
Donkey Kong my ass.
21
00:01:04,220 --> 00:01:05,810
That's construction snake.
22
00:01:05,811 --> 00:01:08,280
- I don't practice law anymore.
- But, we have a case, right?
23
00:01:08,281 --> 00:01:12,370
- Isn't everyone you'd be suing dead?
- That's not cool, man.
24
00:01:12,371 --> 00:01:15,842
- Why would a tree throw eggs at a snake?
- Why would a plumber be fighting a monkey?
25
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,700
I don't know, I don't know.
26
00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:19,243
The Wi-Fi's still broken.
27
00:01:19,244 --> 00:01:21,786
- What happened to good morning?
- It's a bad morning, no Wi-Fi.
28
00:01:21,787 --> 00:01:23,121
Yeah, we really need Wi-Fi.
29
00:01:23,122 --> 00:01:26,266
Okay, let's not get carried
away. We need oxygen.
30
00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:29,378
We have oxygen, we need Wi-Fi.
31
00:01:29,379 --> 00:01:33,872
Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi.
32
00:01:33,873 --> 00:01:35,850
Okay, enough, right?
33
00:01:35,851 --> 00:01:37,485
Look what I'm doing, look.
34
00:01:37,486 --> 00:01:40,711
Fix, Wi-Fi.
35
00:01:40,712 --> 00:01:44,068
Mm-hm, okay, boom and boom.
36
00:01:44,069 --> 00:01:48,370
All right. I, I'm trying
to find the IT lady.
37
00:01:48,371 --> 00:01:51,760
My emails to her get bounced back
to me in Aramaic, and when I call,
38
00:01:51,761 --> 00:01:55,010
I hear an undulating high-pitched
whistle that makes my nose bleed.
39
00:01:55,011 --> 00:01:57,540
Well, sounds like a bad IT lady, right?
40
00:01:57,541 --> 00:01:59,010
Frankie, hire a new IT lady.
41
00:01:59,011 --> 00:02:00,320
I'm pretty handy with technology.
42
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:03,007
I'm assuming it's still the
same, smaller holes, more bytes.
43
00:02:03,008 --> 00:02:05,828
- Now what are we up to now, mega?
- Tera.
44
00:02:05,829 --> 00:02:08,486
Tera.
45
00:02:08,487 --> 00:02:10,762
They did it, those bastards.
They finally did it.
46
00:02:10,763 --> 00:02:13,290
Frankie, hire Elroy.
Elroy, you're the IT lady.
47
00:02:13,291 --> 00:02:15,000
- Can I be his assistant?
- Not for money.
48
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,620
- Can I be his friend?
- Elroy, Abed is your friend.
49
00:02:17,621 --> 00:02:21,428
Now the real reason I came by, I'm dying.
50
00:02:23,937 --> 00:02:27,883
Not really, but imagine how bad you
feel for complaining about the Wi-Fi.
51
00:02:27,884 --> 00:02:30,414
Here's the real reason.
52
00:02:30,415 --> 00:02:31,540
Too short?
53
00:02:33,062 --> 00:02:36,323
It is too short?
54
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:38,820
It's not too short? You people are no help.
55
00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:04,556
sync and corrections by Caio
www.addic7ed.com
56
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,694
School board come in.
57
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:16,016
School board, you're surrounded.
58
00:03:16,017 --> 00:03:18,338
If this is about the bonfire, we'll
put it out when the weather breaks.
59
00:03:18,339 --> 00:03:20,091
We come in peace.
60
00:03:20,092 --> 00:03:23,552
We've had our ups and
downs, but as of right now.
61
00:03:23,553 --> 00:03:26,581
We love this school, and love
what you're doing with it.
62
00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:29,333
What? Why?
63
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,050
What would you think about moving up?
64
00:03:31,051 --> 00:03:31,561
Well.
65
00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:32,815
Joining us on the board?
66
00:03:32,816 --> 00:03:36,210
Me? I would love to be on the school board.
67
00:03:36,211 --> 00:03:37,850
- Awesome.
- Awesome.
68
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:42,870
One, one more thing. You're gay, right?
69
00:03:42,871 --> 00:03:45,670
I mean, like openly gay.
70
00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:50,300
I'm not openly anything, and
gay doesn't begin to cover it.
71
00:03:50,301 --> 00:03:51,510
No, no.
72
00:03:51,511 --> 00:03:53,690
Oh, I get it.
73
00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:58,260
This is about the uproar over you
guys cancelling the pride parade,
74
00:03:58,261 --> 00:03:59,340
for a school board parade.
75
00:03:59,341 --> 00:04:02,350
Those guys get to dress fancy all year.
76
00:04:02,351 --> 00:04:03,230
- No, no.
- We have one day!
77
00:04:03,231 --> 00:04:05,460
No, this isn't about that.
78
00:04:05,461 --> 00:04:08,840
This is about adding a
new face to the board.
79
00:04:08,841 --> 00:04:10,730
But, if that new face
happened to be openly gay,
80
00:04:10,731 --> 00:04:14,070
it would be because we're so tolerant.
81
00:04:14,071 --> 00:04:17,701
And always were. But,
that's for us to deal with.
82
00:04:17,981 --> 00:04:22,090
The question you have to
ask is, am I openly gay?
83
00:04:22,091 --> 00:04:25,270
Because, if you are that
gayness could be a rocket,
84
00:04:25,271 --> 00:04:27,330
thrusting you to new gay heights.
85
00:04:27,331 --> 00:04:31,150
And if you're not. Well, there's
a lot of gay guys out there.
86
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,873
I assume that's the selling
point of the lifestyle.
87
00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:37,718
You know, I, I, I never
thought about it that way.
88
00:04:37,719 --> 00:04:42,058
Well, I have. Cutting women
out of sex, it's genius.
89
00:04:43,942 --> 00:04:49,154
Gay dean. Gay dean. Gay dean. Gay dean.
90
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:55,817
I'm begging you to be a gay
dean of the school board.
91
00:04:59,452 --> 00:05:01,627
This should lead to the router.
92
00:05:08,357 --> 00:05:10,317
Back up, back up, back up,
back up, back up, back back.
93
00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:11,631
Wh, wh, what's going on?
94
00:05:11,831 --> 00:05:13,650
There's a birds nest in
there, with babies in it.
95
00:05:13,651 --> 00:05:15,330
The mother must have built
it there because of the heat.
96
00:05:15,331 --> 00:05:17,060
Same reason my mom took
my half brother to Arizona.
97
00:05:17,061 --> 00:05:19,450
That's probably why the Wi-Fi's
down, we'll have to move it.
98
00:05:19,451 --> 00:05:20,960
If you move them the
mother won't come back.
99
00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:26,590
Those birds aren't the new IT
lady, I am. I'll move it carefully.
100
00:05:26,591 --> 00:05:27,650
The mother won't come back.
101
00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:33,330
Kid, animals have been murdering
each other for 3 billion years.
102
00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:35,200
Birds have had their 15
million in the spotlight.
103
00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:38,690
The same as lizards and plants and
they all just use it to murder, eat,
104
00:05:38,691 --> 00:05:41,360
screw and not invent Wi-Fi.
105
00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:45,260
Now we may end up saving this world, or
blowing it to hell or making a new one.
106
00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:48,150
But we can't do any of it while
scheduling our evolution around
107
00:05:48,151 --> 00:05:50,200
the needs of the least lucky birds.
108
00:05:52,693 --> 00:05:55,030
What are you, a demon?
Did Clive Barker write you?
109
00:05:55,031 --> 00:05:57,350
Anyone who finds that nest,
will come to the same decision.
110
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,684
And you don't have to get mean.
111
00:06:00,685 --> 00:06:04,180
Mean? You just did a baby
bird murder monologue.
112
00:06:04,181 --> 00:06:05,890
Maybe they're close to leaving the nest,
113
00:06:05,891 --> 00:06:08,450
until then can't you just stall
by doing what real IT people do?
114
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,185
- What's that?
- Exactly.
115
00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:17,206
I've got one year to make it all
work, and that's what I'm gonna do,
116
00:06:17,207 --> 00:06:18,753
make it work, all of it.
117
00:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,773
This place is intimidating.
118
00:06:20,774 --> 00:06:22,283
You're gonna do great.
119
00:06:22,284 --> 00:06:26,264
Next up, Ben Chang, for
the role of Daniel LaRusso.
120
00:06:29,944 --> 00:06:31,291
Thank you.
121
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:34,330
Daniel-san, why you want learn karate?
122
00:06:34,331 --> 00:06:35,520
- Hang on a second.
- Sorry, I can do better.
123
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:36,020
Zip it.
124
00:06:37,220 --> 00:06:39,160
Who are you?
125
00:06:39,161 --> 00:06:40,930
Oh, I'm Annie, a friend of Chang's.
126
00:06:40,931 --> 00:06:42,510
You mind coming up here and
reading with your friend?
127
00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:48,458
Okay, if it helps.
128
00:06:54,679 --> 00:07:00,670
- "Daniel-san, what you want?"
- Okay, no, sorry, no.
129
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,510
You read Daniel-san. You read Miyagi.
130
00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:07,272
We'll do scene seven, Miyagi's office.
131
00:07:18,743 --> 00:07:21,855
- Are you the repairman?
- Aye.
132
00:07:22,055 --> 00:07:24,990
- The faucet's really leaky there.
- Aye.
133
00:07:24,991 --> 00:07:27,756
- When you gonna fix it?
- After.
134
00:07:27,757 --> 00:07:32,882
- After what?
- After after.
135
00:07:34,071 --> 00:07:35,844
Tell everyone else to go home.
136
00:07:35,845 --> 00:07:37,203
We got the parts!
137
00:07:37,204 --> 00:07:39,049
Hear, hear.
138
00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:40,500
Parts plural?
139
00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:44,440
Well yeah, Annie got my part
and I got the Asian part.
140
00:07:44,441 --> 00:07:46,090
Chang... Stop!
141
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:50,950
We were cast as Mr. Miyagi and the
Karate Kid, because we're a good team!
142
00:07:50,951 --> 00:07:53,276
We're a team, because
one of us is so talented
143
00:07:53,277 --> 00:07:58,275
she got cast outside her gender and the
other one, got cast because of eye shape.
144
00:07:58,531 --> 00:08:02,000
I am not letting you
sabotage yourself like this.
145
00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:03,160
Let's say you're right.
146
00:08:03,161 --> 00:08:08,380
And like Sidney Poitier or Meg Ryan
before you, you were cast for race.
147
00:08:08,381 --> 00:08:12,288
It's what the actor does with
the role they get, that matters.
148
00:08:12,289 --> 00:08:15,480
- All right?
- You're right.
149
00:08:15,481 --> 00:08:18,320
All right, IT lady. How goes it?
150
00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:20,099
- I found your problem.
- And?
151
00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:25,740
I'll need a little time to fix it.
152
00:08:25,741 --> 00:08:29,320
Wow, need time to fix it? You
sound just like you work in IT.
153
00:08:29,321 --> 00:08:35,063
I've got some interesting news, the
school board, offered me a position.
154
00:08:35,064 --> 00:08:36,049
Great.
155
00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:37,100
Cool.
156
00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:40,470
Well I got a part in a play and
we were sort of talking about that,
157
00:08:40,471 --> 00:08:42,490
so read the room Pelton.
158
00:08:42,491 --> 00:08:47,910
- Are you gonna take the job?
- I don't know, there's a catch.
159
00:08:49,225 --> 00:08:51,590
Jeffrey, Frankie, could I
see you in my office please?
160
00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,200
They want you to be a token homosexual?
161
00:08:56,201 --> 00:08:58,920
It's a form of progress, 30 years ago,
162
00:08:58,921 --> 00:09:02,050
the most power an openly gay
could achieve was a center square.
163
00:09:02,051 --> 00:09:05,410
- But I'm not just gay.
- What does that mean?
164
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:09,880
If coming out is a magic show, and
gayness is the rabbit out of the hat,
165
00:09:09,881 --> 00:09:12,262
I'm one of those
never-ending handkerchiefs.
166
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,850
The sad truth, Craig?
167
00:09:15,851 --> 00:09:19,900
Anything other than straight,
is plenty gay for a school board.
168
00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:24,390
The most important point is, are
you prepared to make your sexuality,
169
00:09:24,391 --> 00:09:30,050
which is nobody's business, an
aspect of your role in society?
170
00:09:30,051 --> 00:09:31,475
I know I'm not, so I don't.
171
00:09:31,476 --> 00:09:33,740
No?
172
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:37,490
When a person becomes symbolic
they gain symbolic power,
173
00:09:37,491 --> 00:09:40,370
at the price of independent power.
174
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,520
Yep. That's an excellent point.
175
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:46,490
It could be good for Greendale, for one
of our own to be on the school board.
176
00:09:46,491 --> 00:09:50,096
I mean the fact that you'd be leaving
a few items off your list of your
177
00:09:50,097 --> 00:09:54,607
turn-ons, I mean, the goal in politics,
isn't transparency, it's winning.
178
00:09:54,608 --> 00:09:58,089
- That's why the politicians always win.
- They do always win, don't they?
179
00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:02,280
But now I get a chance to win. I could
change the system from the inside out.
180
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:07,020
And all I have to do is pare down
my sexuality to simple gayness,
181
00:10:07,021 --> 00:10:09,030
which is heavily in the mix.
182
00:10:09,031 --> 00:10:10,941
There you go.
183
00:10:10,942 --> 00:10:12,862
Get ready, America.
184
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:17,400
Dean Pelton is coming out as
approximately two-sevenths of what he is.
185
00:10:20,140 --> 00:10:22,510
Come on. Don't leave me hanging.
186
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:24,560
There we go.
187
00:10:28,530 --> 00:10:29,760
I am so curious.
188
00:10:29,761 --> 00:10:30,656
- Oh.
- Intellectually.
189
00:10:32,097 --> 00:10:35,040
All right. This is a pretty basic scene.
190
00:10:35,041 --> 00:10:39,070
No real subtext. Let's just get it up
on its feet. There's no wrong answers.
191
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:41,023
Okay? Great. Go.
192
00:10:47,142 --> 00:10:49,672
Hey, come fix faucet.
193
00:10:54,109 --> 00:10:57,291
Oh, Karate, learn from book?
194
00:10:57,292 --> 00:11:02,290
Yeah. And a few classes back at
the Y in Jersey where I'm from.
195
00:11:02,291 --> 00:11:03,270
What happened I?
196
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:08,040
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
I guess there are wrong answers.
197
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:09,080
Quick adjustment, Ben.
198
00:11:09,081 --> 00:11:11,756
- Yeah?
- Act better. Act better.
199
00:11:11,956 --> 00:11:12,400
Thanks.
200
00:11:12,401 --> 00:11:14,910
Annie, you're doing great.
Keep doing what you're doing.
201
00:11:14,911 --> 00:11:15,650
Oh.
202
00:11:15,651 --> 00:11:18,890
- Can I ask about by motiv...
- Keep me from puking is your motivation.
203
00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:21,550
Stop making me want to quit
the theater and kill myself.
204
00:11:21,551 --> 00:11:24,249
Go. After "what happened I.
205
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,154
Oh.
206
00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:26,431
Okay.
207
00:11:26,432 --> 00:11:28,857
Hey. I fell off my bike.
208
00:11:28,858 --> 00:11:31,656
Hm. Lucky no hurt hand.
209
00:11:31,657 --> 00:11:36,947
Okay. Can I see this tool box?
210
00:11:36,948 --> 00:11:39,074
Great. This is good. Got it.
211
00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:46,871
I got distracted cuz the tools
were doing a better job than you.
212
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,518
What happened I? Say it.
213
00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:50,657
What happened I.
214
00:11:50,658 --> 00:11:53,895
Liar. Stop lying to me. Say it.
215
00:11:53,896 --> 00:11:58,317
- What happened I.
- What happened actor?
216
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:01,200
You crying? You cry when I tell you to cry.
217
00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:07,020
So reabsorb that disgusting droplet of salt
and bad choices back into your doughy body.
218
00:12:07,021 --> 00:12:09,990
And then call your mother to see if
you can be reabsorbed back into her
219
00:12:09,991 --> 00:12:13,440
doughy body or so help me God, I
will take that tear, I will freeze it,
220
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:15,010
and I will stab you in the eye with it,
221
00:12:15,011 --> 00:12:18,013
you waste of a soul-shaped
hole forgotten by God.
222
00:12:20,716 --> 00:12:21,920
Okay.
223
00:12:21,921 --> 00:12:22,566
What should I...
224
00:12:22,567 --> 00:12:26,246
Annie, don't change a thing,
you're perfect. Unless you want to.
225
00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:27,999
Okay.
226
00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:37,067
All right I'm Rich Countee, this is my
man Carl. We work on the school board.
227
00:12:37,068 --> 00:12:39,482
- Yeah, we do.
- We have some exciting news for you.
228
00:12:39,483 --> 00:12:43,968
Your own dean, Craig Pelton, has
been selected to join the board
229
00:12:43,969 --> 00:12:48,393
of Colorado Community Colleges,
and I'll just, go, go ahead Dean.
230
00:12:48,394 --> 00:12:49,870
Guys. Talk.
231
00:12:49,871 --> 00:12:52,663
Okay. Hello Greendale.
232
00:12:52,664 --> 00:12:57,315
As you know, this is something
I wanted for a very long time
233
00:12:57,316 --> 00:12:59,916
and I wanted to thank all
of the people at Greendale
234
00:12:59,917 --> 00:13:05,300
that helped me achieve this
and my partner, Domingo.
235
00:13:05,301 --> 00:13:09,703
- Very proud of my Craig.
- Oh, that's, but, oh, oh.
236
00:13:09,704 --> 00:13:11,959
And now let's open it up to some questions.
237
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:12,908
- Dean.
- Dean.
238
00:13:12,909 --> 00:13:17,187
As a gay dean, what is your opinion
about the recent controversy surrounding
239
00:13:17,188 --> 00:13:20,057
the cancelled Pride Parade, and
do you think you were selected
240
00:13:20,058 --> 00:13:22,510
to join the board because
of your sexual preference?
241
00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:23,310
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
242
00:13:23,311 --> 00:13:27,081
I would just like to say that we are very
proud to have Mr. Pelton on the board,
243
00:13:27,082 --> 00:13:29,136
whatever his lifestyle may be.
244
00:13:29,336 --> 00:13:34,301
Which happens to be gay!
Which is great, but irrelevant!
245
00:13:34,302 --> 00:13:35,880
Hey, it gets better!
246
00:13:40,374 --> 00:13:43,956
Oh good. We're so happy.
247
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,905
- I feel like scum.
- Gay people are scum?
248
00:13:45,906 --> 00:13:47,520
Hey, don't play that
card with me young man.
249
00:13:47,521 --> 00:13:49,598
I make gayness look like Mormonism.
250
00:13:49,599 --> 00:13:51,142
I don't like being this dishonest.
251
00:13:51,143 --> 00:13:53,970
Dean, I want to say thanks for doing this.
252
00:13:53,971 --> 00:13:54,650
I never knew.
253
00:13:54,651 --> 00:13:56,140
I mean, people talked, but...
254
00:13:56,141 --> 00:13:59,280
Sure, well, it really doesn't
have anything to do with my work.
255
00:13:59,281 --> 00:14:01,080
Yeah, but it's helpful, to me.
256
00:14:01,081 --> 00:14:03,292
You know, and to a lot of us, so.
257
00:14:03,293 --> 00:14:05,581
Thank you.
258
00:14:09,255 --> 00:14:11,740
Hm.
259
00:14:11,741 --> 00:14:15,478
Confine yourself to your role, Domingo.
260
00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:16,732
And lose the attitude.
261
00:14:40,458 --> 00:14:44,220
Hare krishna. Krishna krishna.
262
00:14:44,221 --> 00:14:47,419
Oh, Daniel-san, you much-a humor.
263
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,385
Hm, okay. Let's stop there.
264
00:14:57,889 --> 00:15:01,602
I'm not gonna hit you. And
it's not because it's illegal,
265
00:15:01,603 --> 00:15:04,315
and it's certainly not because
I'm afraid you know karate
266
00:15:04,316 --> 00:15:07,900
because there is nothing about
your performance that is believable.
267
00:15:07,901 --> 00:15:11,900
See, we only hit things, that effect us.
268
00:15:11,901 --> 00:15:17,090
I don't hit water, or old mayonnaise.
Or the air after a fart has dissipated.
269
00:15:17,091 --> 00:15:20,120
And I'm not hitting you.
270
00:15:20,121 --> 00:15:22,388
You are the worst actor I've ever directed
271
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,867
and I've directed both Wahlbergs!
272
00:15:25,611 --> 00:15:26,880
From the top!
273
00:15:26,881 --> 00:15:30,140
Danny does a bit with the
floor sanders, Miyagi is amused,
274
00:15:30,141 --> 00:15:33,419
and Kenny gets me another god damned
cup of coffee with six Splendas in it!
275
00:15:38,070 --> 00:15:38,570
Hare Krishna.
276
00:15:40,770 --> 00:15:43,000
He's so mean to Chang.
I don't know what to do.
277
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:48,290
You could just drop out of the play.
278
00:15:48,291 --> 00:15:50,620
Well, you know I could. Or Chang could.
279
00:15:50,621 --> 00:15:53,820
I mean, the director
is not being mean to me.
280
00:15:53,821 --> 00:15:57,030
But you talked Chang into
auditioning and then you got his part
281
00:15:57,031 --> 00:15:57,970
and now he's suffering.
282
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:02,960
- You're right, I should threaten to quit.
- Or just quit.
283
00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:06,380
Well, if I threaten to quit maybe that will
be enough for him to stop abusing Chang.
284
00:16:08,102 --> 00:16:10,881
I was kind of born to act, Britta.
285
00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:15,478
When I do it, I can feel
it pleasing the universe.
286
00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:20,132
- That's dramatic.
- See?
287
00:16:26,895 --> 00:16:29,324
The internet says that if they're sparrows
they'll be flying in less than 12 days.
288
00:16:29,325 --> 00:16:33,942
If they're albatrosses, we're in trouble.
289
00:16:33,943 --> 00:16:36,235
Albatrosses have a 270
day fledgling period.
290
00:16:43,662 --> 00:16:45,626
Thanks for guarding the nest with me.
291
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,419
Uh-oh.
292
00:16:49,420 --> 00:16:54,052
This is what you do when
you're working? Must be nice.
293
00:16:54,053 --> 00:16:56,270
All right, look. There's a
bird's nest in the router.
294
00:16:56,271 --> 00:16:58,090
Now if you want to fire me, fire me.
295
00:16:58,091 --> 00:17:02,280
Either way, until those birds
are gone nobody gets any closer.
296
00:17:03,860 --> 00:17:07,108
Well of course not. If you move
them the mother won't come back.
297
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,854
Keep up the good work.
298
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,654
Show me wax on.
299
00:17:17,655 --> 00:17:19,780
This is the worst acting
I've ever seen in my life.
300
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,250
Show me wax, off.
301
00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:27,440
The ghost of your father
just turned his back on you.
302
00:17:27,441 --> 00:17:31,740
Your ancestors are clawing their way
deeper into the Earth to get away from you,
303
00:17:32,624 --> 00:17:36,624
you make me embarrassed to have
thumbs, I can see air quotes around you.
304
00:17:36,710 --> 00:17:39,780
Show me, paint fence.
305
00:17:39,781 --> 00:17:41,880
Knock, knock, knock, anybody home?
306
00:17:41,881 --> 00:17:43,800
Oh look, there's nobody
here, oh it's so dusty,
307
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,890
it's almost like nobody's
been here in years.
308
00:17:45,891 --> 00:17:46,600
There's a note.
309
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:50,210
"Never let me act."
310
00:17:50,211 --> 00:17:53,960
Mr. Lundergard, I'm sorry, but I
cannot stand by while you do this.
311
00:17:53,961 --> 00:17:58,516
- That's fine, you can go.
- I'm not bluffing.
312
00:17:58,771 --> 00:18:01,260
You can't make an actor more
talented by yelling at them.
313
00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:04,550
And if you don't stop, your
lead character is going to walk.
314
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:08,790
Lead? You play Danny LaRusso.
315
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:11,020
Well I'm the Karate Kid.
316
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:15,550
The Karate Kid is about Kesuke Miyagi,
317
00:18:15,551 --> 00:18:18,520
an immigrant who fought against
his own people in World War II,
318
00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:21,950
while his wife lost a
child in an internment camp.
319
00:18:21,951 --> 00:18:25,870
Noriyuki Morita was nominated for
an Academy Award for his performance.
320
00:18:25,871 --> 00:18:28,940
Ralph Macchio? Showed up.
321
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:33,180
I cast you because your measurements allow
me to use the same wardrobe as last year.
322
00:18:33,181 --> 00:18:38,370
I cast Ben because he has the sadness and
talent that could make this show great.
323
00:18:38,371 --> 00:18:44,010
If I have to physically drill into
his chest and suck it out with a straw!
324
00:18:44,011 --> 00:18:48,470
So you can take a flying kick
and a rolling donut! You're fired.
325
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,400
But I'm talented, too, right?
326
00:18:52,401 --> 00:18:55,590
What? No. Really? Really?
327
00:18:55,591 --> 00:18:58,920
Oh my God! You're like doing a
terrible Vinnie Barbarino up here.
328
00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:01,140
But, like, I know you're not
capable of anything better,
329
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,519
so, that's why I've been so nice to you.
330
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,937
Take care Annie.
331
00:19:05,938 --> 00:19:07,857
Yikes, right?
332
00:19:07,858 --> 00:19:11,900
What a diva.
333
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:15,450
- Thanks for sticking up for me.
- No problem?
334
00:19:18,060 --> 00:19:19,739
From now on, she's dead to us.
335
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,930
Hey gay Dean, we got a problem
here. You ring the local papers?
336
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:29,820
You've shut down the campus Wi-Fi
until a nest of baby birds can grow?
337
00:19:29,821 --> 00:19:31,230
That's a little too gay.
338
00:19:31,231 --> 00:19:34,110
I didn't do it because
I'm gay. Wait, I'm not gay.
339
00:19:34,111 --> 00:19:36,370
Oh, that did not just get said to us.
340
00:19:36,371 --> 00:19:38,850
You are gay. You are
openly gay and we love it.
341
00:19:38,851 --> 00:19:41,630
But now we are dealing with
more flak from conservatives for
342
00:19:41,631 --> 00:19:45,270
appointing you than we ever did
from gays for not having one of you.
343
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:47,230
Yeah, and the gays aren't
coming to your side.
344
00:19:47,231 --> 00:19:51,020
You know why? Because the whole
point is to get a job by being gay
345
00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:53,250
and then to do as good
of job as the normals.
346
00:19:53,251 --> 00:19:54,653
That's what the gays want.
347
00:19:54,654 --> 00:19:58,112
They don't want a gay dean who
acts like a weird gay monster.
348
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:00,458
- I'm not a gay dean.
- Whoa, not...
349
00:20:00,459 --> 00:20:03,278
Cool, man. Don't bring
us into your web of lies.
350
00:20:03,279 --> 00:20:06,450
Well, now what do you want me to do?
351
00:20:06,451 --> 00:20:09,910
Figure it out, gay dean. Figure it out.
352
00:20:12,940 --> 00:20:14,548
- Hey, Domingo.
- Hey, what's up?
353
00:20:17,454 --> 00:20:22,400
Guys, the school needs Wi-Fi,
and my job is to run the school.
354
00:20:22,401 --> 00:20:24,550
The school doesn't need baby birds.
355
00:20:24,551 --> 00:20:28,180
- The nest needs to be moved.
- You are not crossing this line.
356
00:20:28,181 --> 00:20:30,828
- I'm taping this. This is on video.
- Guys...
357
00:20:30,829 --> 00:20:37,250
This is two white security guards versus
one unarmed black man and two baby birds.
358
00:20:37,601 --> 00:20:38,100
Your move.
359
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:41,187
Stand down. Stand down.
360
00:20:41,387 --> 00:20:43,610
No security, no weapons.
361
00:20:43,611 --> 00:20:49,110
Just one unarmed black man versus
one unarmed, openly gay dean.
362
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,796
Now move that nest, please.
363
00:20:57,591 --> 00:21:00,639
Just a hair back Domingo, it's
like you're breathing for me.
364
00:22:01,355 --> 00:22:06,126
I have called this press conference
because I have been less than
365
00:22:06,127 --> 00:22:08,750
honest with the public.
366
00:22:08,751 --> 00:22:12,340
You know me as the openly gay dean
of Greendale Community College,
367
00:22:12,341 --> 00:22:16,740
but that doesn't even begin
to describe what I really am.
368
00:22:16,741 --> 00:22:22,427
I belong to one of the most marginalized
and least openly honest groups in America.
369
00:22:23,855 --> 00:22:29,814
I am a politician.
370
00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:30,892
Now what does that mean?
371
00:22:30,893 --> 00:22:33,490
Are politicians like you?
Well we look like you,
372
00:22:33,491 --> 00:22:39,400
but we will say and do whatever we have
to in order to acquire and keep our jobs.
373
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:45,870
It means nothing I say and very few
of the things I think can be trusted.
374
00:22:48,368 --> 00:22:52,810
I am tired of being in this particular
closet so I am coming out now.
375
00:22:55,394 --> 00:23:02,153
I only hope that you can accept an
openly political person on your board.
376
00:23:03,349 --> 00:23:07,588
If not, I understand.
377
00:23:07,889 --> 00:23:09,837
Thank you.
378
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:18,110
It's just faster if I get to my office this
way. We don't need any pictures of this.
379
00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:21,910
I can't believe the Dean got
kicked off the school board
380
00:23:21,911 --> 00:23:23,670
just for admitting he's political.
381
00:23:23,671 --> 00:23:24,180
Yeah.
382
00:23:24,181 --> 00:23:26,680
Some groups take longer than
others to gain acceptance.
383
00:23:26,681 --> 00:23:29,560
We like our politicians in the
closet because we're afraid,
384
00:23:29,561 --> 00:23:32,130
deep down, we're all a little political.
385
00:23:32,131 --> 00:23:35,350
- Any of you guys smell a bird murderer?
- I came here to apologize.
386
00:23:35,351 --> 00:23:38,310
Well, I hope your apology comes
with a beak and hollow bones
387
00:23:38,311 --> 00:23:40,480
and a special magnet in
its head it uses to migrate.
388
00:23:40,481 --> 00:23:43,110
- You skipped wings.
- Insects have wings.
389
00:23:43,111 --> 00:23:43,930
I'm sorry.
390
00:23:43,931 --> 00:23:48,090
I'm sorry, Abed. I lost myself
in a role. It won't happen again.
391
00:23:48,091 --> 00:23:49,000
Two of them died.
392
00:23:49,001 --> 00:23:50,279
There's one left. He's hanging on,
393
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,472
but I'm worried he's turning
into a symbol of my own innocence.
394
00:23:55,852 --> 00:24:00,050
- Isn't Chang's play tonight?
- If any of you go, you're supporting abuse.
395
00:24:00,051 --> 00:24:02,020
Oh, dial it back, Annie.
396
00:24:02,021 --> 00:24:03,370
Well, I'm definitely in.
397
00:24:03,371 --> 00:24:06,600
It'll be interesting to see how his fake
crying is different from his real crying.
398
00:24:06,601 --> 00:24:10,530
Well I'm a big fan of the performing
arts, but I'll go to Chang's play anyway.
399
00:24:11,082 --> 00:24:15,646
Karate Kid adaptation?
Karate Kid adaptation?
400
00:24:31,472 --> 00:24:34,870
Okay. I might. I'm catching up.
401
00:24:39,896 --> 00:24:41,670
Directors have a saying.
402
00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:47,420
Actors are worthless,
empty-headed homunculi,
403
00:24:47,421 --> 00:24:52,636
but the right one, in the
right role can change the world.
404
00:24:53,111 --> 00:24:56,051
Hm, I have found the right one.
405
00:24:56,052 --> 00:25:01,251
He's found the right role, and
tonight, your world changes.
406
00:25:01,451 --> 00:25:02,751
You're welcome.
407
00:25:18,752 --> 00:25:21,155
- He replaced me with Annie Kim.
- Shh.
408
00:25:21,156 --> 00:25:21,938
Hee-ah!
409
00:25:21,939 --> 00:25:22,782
Ow.
410
00:25:22,783 --> 00:25:25,488
Sorry. You okay?
411
00:25:25,489 --> 00:25:28,399
You must be the new people in apartment 20.
412
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,000
What was that? Karate?
413
00:25:31,001 --> 00:25:32,440
Yeah, you know?
414
00:25:32,441 --> 00:25:35,390
Hey, me and some of my friends are
gonna have a party at the beach later.
415
00:25:35,391 --> 00:25:36,580
You should come.
416
00:25:37,590 --> 00:25:40,470
- Hey! Are you the repair man?
- Aye.
417
00:25:40,471 --> 00:25:43,169
- Faucet's really leaking there.
- Aye.
418
00:25:43,170 --> 00:25:46,930
- When are you gonna fix it?
- After.
419
00:25:46,931 --> 00:25:50,665
- After what?
- After, after.
420
00:25:53,036 --> 00:25:56,250
Come ask, leave boy alone to train.
421
00:25:56,465 --> 00:26:00,075
You got a lot of nerve, old man.
But I like that. I like that.
422
00:26:00,076 --> 00:26:03,070
- Name a place.
- Tournament.
423
00:26:07,865 --> 00:26:12,104
Yes, sir. Regret to inform wife, sir.
424
00:26:15,672 --> 00:26:19,518
Complication at birth, sir.
425
00:26:21,491 --> 00:26:24,669
No doctor, it can't.
426
00:26:26,764 --> 00:26:28,342
Oh, shit.
427
00:26:30,057 --> 00:26:32,810
Oh, shit.
428
00:26:32,811 --> 00:26:34,220
- Please forgive me.
- Shh.
429
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:41,070
No need fight anymore, you proved point.
430
00:26:41,071 --> 00:26:44,030
What? That I could take a beating?
431
00:26:44,031 --> 00:26:48,380
Every time I see those guys,
they'll know they got the best of me.
432
00:26:50,130 --> 00:26:50,940
Close eye.
433
00:27:07,762 --> 00:27:11,463
Get up, Daniel. Get up!
434
00:27:22,182 --> 00:27:24,374
Yeah, woo woo!
435
00:27:24,375 --> 00:27:26,677
- You all right, LaRusso?
- Yeah, you missed my head.
436
00:27:27,614 --> 00:27:29,927
We did it, Mister Miyagi. We did it.
437
00:27:35,813 --> 00:27:39,220
- I'm speechless.
- I forgot Chang was up there.
438
00:27:39,221 --> 00:27:40,020
Me, too.
439
00:27:40,021 --> 00:27:44,330
It's such a relief to be able to support
him out of something other than fear.
440
00:27:44,331 --> 00:27:46,070
I guess all that suffering
Chang endured paid off.
441
00:27:46,071 --> 00:27:47,833
It's not what the play
suggests, but you have to wonder
442
00:27:47,834 --> 00:27:50,006
if it wouldn't have been better
for Daniel to get beat up even more.
443
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,875
I am at a total loss about what
lesson to learn from any of this.
444
00:27:53,876 --> 00:27:55,323
Maybe that's the lesson.
445
00:27:55,324 --> 00:27:56,879
Hm.
446
00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,044
- I lost a button.
- Maybe we all lost a button.
447
00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:03,428
Hey, hey guys!
448
00:28:06,562 --> 00:28:07,753
Thank you so much.
449
00:28:07,754 --> 00:28:12,516
- Hey, thank you for making me do this.
- You're welcome. Congratulations.
450
00:28:12,517 --> 00:28:15,840
- I'm jealous.
- No, no, don't be.
451
00:28:15,841 --> 00:28:17,368
Believe me, I sit in my dressing room
452
00:28:17,369 --> 00:28:20,504
and all I dream about is a
white picket fence and a dog.
453
00:28:20,704 --> 00:28:23,064
I don't have those either.
454
00:28:23,065 --> 00:28:25,680
Chang, let's go.
455
00:28:25,681 --> 00:28:28,570
I guess all the actors go to
some sort of actor bar together.
456
00:28:28,571 --> 00:28:31,091
So, I'll see you guys at school. Bye.
457
00:28:38,690 --> 00:28:43,300
Hey, I know this great bar for
people that don't hate themselves.
458
00:28:43,301 --> 00:28:44,290
What do you say?
459
00:28:46,180 --> 00:28:50,146
- My lady.
- My lord.
460
00:28:55,180 --> 00:29:00,034
We are gathered here today to celebrate
the release of this bird into these skies.
461
00:29:00,035 --> 00:29:03,810
That its now fully formed wings may
find purchase upon the four winds.
462
00:29:03,811 --> 00:29:05,310
If anyone would like to say
something, now's the time.
463
00:29:08,750 --> 00:29:13,560
Oh, I'll always remember how you
kept me from getting email for a week.
464
00:29:13,561 --> 00:29:16,259
And that chirp you do
when you want more bread.
465
00:29:16,260 --> 00:29:17,646
Yeah, that one.
466
00:29:17,647 --> 00:29:19,890
And now everyone, please put on
your cat masks and finger wings.
467
00:29:25,730 --> 00:29:28,480
With these cat masks, we
remind you that this place
468
00:29:28,481 --> 00:29:31,580
can no longer be your home, but
with the fluttering of these wings,
469
00:29:31,581 --> 00:29:34,050
we symbolically join your
flight into the natural world.
470
00:29:34,051 --> 00:29:34,570
Wings everyone.
471
00:29:40,650 --> 00:29:41,750
Okay. You can go now.
472
00:29:41,751 --> 00:29:44,470
Yeah. Off you go.
473
00:29:44,471 --> 00:29:46,626
Time to go, little bird,
that's just the way it is.
474
00:29:46,627 --> 00:29:48,715
Whee!
475
00:29:49,838 --> 00:29:53,093
Aw.
476
00:29:53,094 --> 00:29:55,840
- Then it's done.
- You did the right thing, Abed.
477
00:29:55,841 --> 00:29:58,880
Thanks to you, that bird has his
whole bird life ahead of him, to fly,
478
00:29:58,881 --> 00:30:00,640
meet lady birds, even start a bird family.
479
00:30:00,641 --> 00:30:02,761
You made a difference.
480
00:30:02,762 --> 00:30:03,760
Aw.
481
00:30:03,761 --> 00:30:04,976
Abed.
482
00:30:12,127 --> 00:30:14,958
sync and corrections by Caio
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net