WEBVTT
00:00:03.298 --> 00:00:04.838
Yahoo!
00:00:16.670 --> 00:00:18.196
Three weeks earlier.
00:00:18.196 --> 00:00:19.859
Huh?
00:00:19.859 --> 00:00:23.400
You know how sometimes a movie or a show begins on a random,
00:00:23.400 --> 00:00:26.465
intriguing scene with no context given encouraging you to wonder whoa,
00:00:26.465 --> 00:00:28.020
how'd this crazy scenario come to be?
00:00:28.020 --> 00:00:29.940
And then it cuts to black and a title comes up and
00:00:29.940 --> 00:00:30.830
says three weeks earlier.
00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:33.380
Uh-huh. Here we are.
00:00:33.380 --> 00:00:34.950
Sitting in silence, crammed into an RV.
00:00:34.950 --> 00:00:38.122
Winding through the mountain roads of Colorado with a 19 foot fiberglass
00:00:38.122 --> 00:00:39.087
hand tied to the roof.
00:00:41.670 --> 00:00:44.047
If there was ever a time to cut to three weeks earlier it'd be right now.
00:00:47.172 --> 00:00:48.588
Know what I mean?
00:00:57.111 --> 00:00:58.384
Elroy you got any booze?
00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:02.050
Don't go through my stuff!
00:01:02.050 --> 00:01:04.091
This isn't a bus. You're standing in my living room, kitchen, and bedroom.
00:01:04.091 --> 00:01:05.762
Ooh I never thought about that.
00:01:05.762 --> 00:01:09.810
And your backyard is 24,900 miles long,
00:01:09.810 --> 00:01:13.866
because it's the circumference of the Earth.
00:01:13.866 --> 00:01:16.880
Because you have no home.
00:01:16.880 --> 00:01:17.820
Did anyone need water?
00:01:17.820 --> 00:01:18.840
What else can we talk about?
00:01:18.840 --> 00:01:20.430
I guess to make it really intriguing,
00:01:20.430 --> 00:01:22.670
one of us should be visibly injured in a way that makes you wonder how it
00:01:22.670 --> 00:01:24.210
happened Like if Britta had a black eye.
00:01:26.400 --> 00:01:29.060
Dean, can I speak to you privately?
00:01:29.060 --> 00:01:30.596
I'm pretty sure the answer is no.
00:01:30.596 --> 00:01:31.421
Coming up.
00:01:37.795 --> 00:01:41.131
You know, when I agreed to hold this thing for you and the school,
00:01:41.131 --> 00:01:44.360
you didn't say anything about six people sitting back there.
00:01:44.360 --> 00:01:46.045
Man, I wonder what they're talking about.
00:01:46.045 --> 00:01:46.628
God!
00:01:46.628 --> 00:01:47.421
Who knows?
00:01:47.421 --> 00:01:51.230
They're sealed off behind this soundproof vinyl.
00:01:51.230 --> 00:01:53.320
I will drive my house off a cliff.
00:01:53.320 --> 00:01:56.000
Elroy, we're not here to snoop or judge you.
00:01:56.000 --> 00:02:00.225
You're not the first person to have dirty dishes, CD rom porn and
00:02:00.225 --> 00:02:04.320
framed photos of yourself with two biracial teenagers in a park.
00:02:04.320 --> 00:02:05.360
It's not that.
00:02:06.930 --> 00:02:08.295
All of this weight.
00:02:08.295 --> 00:02:15.870
I may have miscalculated the mileage.
00:02:15.870 --> 00:02:17.640
Darn it, I wanna hijack this RV, but
00:02:17.640 --> 00:02:21.590
I'm foiled by its impenetrable post-2001 security measures.
00:02:21.590 --> 00:02:24.760
You keep driving and nobody else needs to know about this, understand?
00:02:24.760 --> 00:02:27.240
The last thing we need is a panic.
00:02:28.850 --> 00:02:29.540
What's going on?
00:02:29.540 --> 00:02:30.470
Are we out of gas?
00:02:30.470 --> 00:02:31.420
Yes!
00:02:31.420 --> 00:02:32.040
It's on empty!
00:02:32.040 --> 00:02:34.330
It's on empty!
00:02:34.330 --> 00:02:36.270
Like, the needle is invisible.
00:02:36.270 --> 00:02:37.150
Oh, my God!
00:02:37.150 --> 00:02:38.150
There's no needle.
00:02:38.150 --> 00:02:40.330
It's gone. It's underneath the plastic or
00:02:40.330 --> 00:02:42.490
maybe the engine tried to use it as the fuel.
00:02:42.490 --> 00:02:43.360
Oh, stop yelling.
00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:44.670
Well, stop being out of gas.
00:02:44.670 --> 00:02:45.640
You're freaking me out.
00:02:45.640 --> 00:02:47.190
You should be freaking out.
00:02:47.190 --> 00:02:48.610
I have been driving for 25 years,
00:02:48.610 --> 00:02:53.110
and I have never seen so little gas in my life.
00:02:53.110 --> 00:02:57.980
Aah! Stop, stop, I'm yelling even louder so you have to stop.
00:02:57.980 --> 00:03:01.060
We're not in control of the gas, okay?
00:03:01.060 --> 00:03:03.629
We have to focus on what we can control.
00:03:03.629 --> 00:03:04.921
Is everyone's phone charged?
00:03:04.921 --> 00:03:06.390
Yes. Charge your phones.
00:03:06.390 --> 00:03:07.017
Good idea.
00:03:07.017 --> 00:03:08.433
Okay.
00:03:08.433 --> 00:03:10.790
Okay.
00:03:10.790 --> 00:03:11.630
See?
00:03:11.630 --> 00:03:14.170
We turned panic into preparedness.
00:03:14.170 --> 00:03:18.930
Now if we do run out of gas, guess who's got fully charged phones?
00:03:18.930 --> 00:03:19.692
Well charged.
00:03:19.692 --> 00:03:21.456
Full battery.
00:03:21.456 --> 00:03:24.777
For the love of God, stop charging your phones!
00:03:24.777 --> 00:03:25.589
Aah!
00:03:36.200 --> 00:03:40.045
Excuse me a moment.
00:03:40.045 --> 00:03:40.587
What happened?
00:03:40.587 --> 00:03:41.213
I'm not telling you!
00:03:41.213 --> 00:03:42.587
Fair enough.
00:03:42.587 --> 00:03:43.503
We're all gonna die!
00:04:09.280 --> 00:04:13.280
Synced and uploaded by streetsahead
00:04:16.295 --> 00:04:18.295
All in favor?
00:04:18.295 --> 00:04:20.462
And that solves the matter of the giant hand.
00:04:20.462 --> 00:04:21.711
If there's no other business.
00:04:21.711 --> 00:04:22.295
Yes.
00:04:22.295 --> 00:04:24.285
I'd like to move that we establish this moment as the opening
00:04:24.285 --> 00:04:24.878
for a flashback.
00:04:24.878 --> 00:04:25.461
No.
00:04:25.461 --> 00:04:25.961
Meeting adjourned.
00:04:35.586 --> 00:04:37.795
Oh, I guess we'll not doing the three weeks earlier thing.
00:04:37.795 --> 00:04:41.723
Abed insert dialogue here by you dropping the fourth wall shtick.
00:04:41.723 --> 00:04:42.920
Nice. Careful you don't flood it.
00:04:42.920 --> 00:04:46.150
That's the fifth time you've reminded me not to flood something.
00:04:46.150 --> 00:04:48.350
I'm sorry but it doesn't apply to our situation.
00:04:48.350 --> 00:04:49.370
I'm gonna check the battery.
00:04:50.420 --> 00:04:52.337
Can you send someone or not?
00:04:52.337 --> 00:04:53.240
Can you please hold?
00:04:53.240 --> 00:04:55.878
No, I can't hold.
00:04:55.878 --> 00:04:57.086
Darn it.
00:04:57.086 --> 00:05:01.650
When they put you on hold, you hang up and you call right back.
00:05:01.650 --> 00:05:02.628
Frankie taught me that.
00:05:02.628 --> 00:05:04.370
Hi, it's me.
00:05:04.370 --> 00:05:05.930
Yeah, the one you put on hold.
00:05:05.930 --> 00:05:07.030
See where that got you?
00:05:07.030 --> 00:05:08.015
Can you send somebody or not?
00:05:08.015 --> 00:05:08.599
Please hold.
00:05:08.599 --> 00:05:10.348
Don't you dare.
00:05:10.348 --> 00:05:13.420
When they put you on hold, hang up and call right back.
00:05:13.420 --> 00:05:15.470
I can play this game all day.
00:05:15.470 --> 00:05:18.683
I told you we need roadside service on- Could you please hold?
00:05:18.683 --> 00:05:21.120
Oh, you can't be serious.
00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:22.900
Well hello, guess who.
00:05:22.900 --> 00:05:24.810
I got nothing but fingers and time, pal.
00:05:24.810 --> 00:05:27.022
Road side service, Moffett pass.
00:05:27.022 --> 00:05:28.473
All right, all right.
00:05:28.473 --> 00:05:31.349
You, well, you could've told me that an hour ago.
00:05:31.349 --> 00:05:31.999
RV is full of crazy ladies.
00:05:31.999 --> 00:05:35.450
Your RV is full of crazy ladies, good bye.
00:05:36.570 --> 00:05:38.900
Have any of you heard of Armed Forces Day?
00:05:38.900 --> 00:05:41.700
Because apparently it's today and it's really boning us.
00:05:41.700 --> 00:05:44.806
Yep, here it is, Armed Forces Day, huh.
00:05:44.806 --> 00:05:47.020
Why would they put it in May?
00:05:47.020 --> 00:05:50.770
It's just sitting there in Memorial Day's shadow like a military Hanukkah.
00:05:50.770 --> 00:05:53.390
Fitting that both war holidays have to fight each other
00:05:53.390 --> 00:05:54.420
over the same month.
00:05:54.420 --> 00:05:56.900
Notable that the one we remember is the one with the theme of memory.
00:05:56.900 --> 00:05:59.930
Way to make this about justifying your unmarketable sensibilities.
00:05:59.930 --> 00:06:05.010
Well, apparently Armed Forces Day is the big one for tow truck drivers.
00:06:05.010 --> 00:06:08.040
Because there are three within 200 miles of this spot and
00:06:08.040 --> 00:06:10.210
they're all in the same parade.
00:06:10.210 --> 00:06:15.320
Maybe it'll come by this way if we offer them instruments?
00:06:15.320 --> 00:06:16.810
Nobody reroutes parades.
00:06:16.810 --> 00:06:18.410
They rerouted Kennedy's parade.
00:06:18.410 --> 00:06:21.100
So, we'll just call the CIA, tell them we want to assassinate
00:06:21.100 --> 00:06:23.740
the President, and we'll be home in time for Wheel of Fortune.
00:06:23.740 --> 00:06:24.560
Who are we kidding?
00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:25.780
That'll never work.
00:06:25.780 --> 00:06:29.110
We got Britta'd, yes, I use it too.
00:06:29.110 --> 00:06:32.250
I don't want anybody here blaming themselves for this.
00:06:32.250 --> 00:06:33.575
I want everyone blaming Frankie.
00:06:33.575 --> 00:06:34.515
What?
00:06:34.515 --> 00:06:36.750
She is the reason we are here.
00:06:36.750 --> 00:06:40.640
This is what happens when you make decisions outside the moment.
00:06:40.640 --> 00:06:43.590
Whatever moment you were in the day you got on the Internet and
00:06:43.590 --> 00:06:48.050
bought a gigantic hand, I am proud to remain outside until I die.
00:06:48.050 --> 00:06:49.240
You will baby.
00:06:49.240 --> 00:06:51.460
And this is where logic gets you,
00:06:51.460 --> 00:06:56.390
stuck in a Rocky Mountain pass at sundown, gradually freezing to death.
00:06:56.390 --> 00:07:00.426
And forced to decide somewhere in the backs of our heads, just in case,
00:07:00.426 --> 00:07:01.660
who we'd eat first.
00:07:01.660 --> 00:07:02.430
Annie, right?
00:07:02.430 --> 00:07:04.530
What? It's not a judgement, it's about biology.
00:07:04.530 --> 00:07:05.050
What?
00:07:05.050 --> 00:07:08.940
Craig, the hand currently crushing our lives
00:07:08.940 --> 00:07:10.250
is not about being in the moment.
00:07:10.250 --> 00:07:12.899
You bought this thing we can't return with money we don't have,
00:07:12.899 --> 00:07:13.681
nobody knows why.
00:07:13.681 --> 00:07:17.389
And your latest idea is to put it on the quad with a plaque that says
00:07:17.389 --> 00:07:18.910
give a hand to your brain.
00:07:18.910 --> 00:07:20.348
Give your brain a hand.
00:07:20.348 --> 00:07:22.600
You're making it sound stupid on purpose.
00:07:22.600 --> 00:07:25.220
It's over Craig, you are lucky to have Frankie.
00:07:25.220 --> 00:07:27.210
And you're lucky she was able to find some weirdo,
00:07:27.210 --> 00:07:31.490
excuse me, bigger weirdo on eBay willing to pay cash for it.
00:07:31.490 --> 00:07:33.450
This is a lot of narrative pipe.
00:07:33.450 --> 00:07:35.470
Maybe we did need a three weeks earlier flashback.
00:07:35.470 --> 00:07:36.556
Abed. Is this a show?
00:07:36.556 --> 00:07:38.300
I thought you said you knew it wasn't a TV show.
00:07:39.500 --> 00:07:40.370
Season two you mean?
00:07:40.370 --> 00:07:41.130
I don't know.
00:07:41.130 --> 00:07:41.860
I can change my mind.
00:07:41.860 --> 00:07:44.660
Well can I ask that it not be a show about you saying it's a show?
00:07:44.660 --> 00:07:45.160
Because dumb.
00:07:47.780 --> 00:07:48.730
You're dumb.
00:07:48.730 --> 00:07:49.680
Go in the back.
00:07:49.680 --> 00:07:51.350
Go in the back and sit by yourself.
00:07:51.350 --> 00:07:52.556
Jeff.
00:07:52.556 --> 00:07:53.598
Give him a shot. What's wrong with you?
00:07:53.598 --> 00:07:55.050
I'm sick of it.
00:07:55.050 --> 00:07:57.510
It's a show, it's not a show, it's your show, it's my show,
00:07:57.510 --> 00:07:58.730
it's a good show, it's a bad show.
00:07:58.730 --> 00:08:00.200
I am sick of it.
00:08:00.200 --> 00:08:02.310
I don't want to hear the word show again.
00:08:02.310 --> 00:08:05.350
Show, show, show, is a show, show, show.
00:08:05.350 --> 00:08:08.040
So now it's a show about this?
00:08:08.040 --> 00:08:09.230
Oh, you're right, that's way worse.
00:08:09.230 --> 00:08:09.842
Abed, come back.
00:08:09.842 --> 00:08:10.530
Yes. Yay.
00:08:10.530 --> 00:08:11.540
Abed, come back. Yes, yes, yes.
00:08:11.540 --> 00:08:12.250
I'm not sorry.
00:08:12.250 --> 00:08:13.510
It's not good to be back.
00:08:13.510 --> 00:08:16.090
What the hell was that?
00:08:16.090 --> 00:08:17.810
The battery is dead.
00:08:17.810 --> 00:08:19.120
Flooded?
00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:20.810
So help me God.
00:08:20.810 --> 00:08:24.793
The RV has two batteries, a primary, and a second- Secondary.
00:08:27.101 --> 00:08:30.070
We overloaded the electrical system, and killed the engine battery.
00:08:30.070 --> 00:08:32.290
So now, the secondary battery has maybe three or
00:08:32.290 --> 00:08:35.130
four hours of juice- Charge, juice, charge.
00:08:35.130 --> 00:08:38.280
Then we have a choice to make.
00:08:38.280 --> 00:08:39.850
And Jeff can explain that choice.
00:08:39.850 --> 00:08:41.060
No, it's your RV.
00:08:41.060 --> 00:08:41.740
This was my show.
00:08:41.740 --> 00:08:43.280
You didn't give a damn about that.
00:08:43.280 --> 00:08:46.918
Abed, we're all on your side, so if you're also on your side, it's petty.
00:08:46.918 --> 00:08:50.060
We could wait for a couple of hours and
00:08:50.060 --> 00:08:52.610
hope that the engine battery resets itself.
00:08:52.610 --> 00:08:54.930
If it doesn't, then we're spending the night here, and
00:08:54.930 --> 00:08:57.660
at least we have the secondary battery to keep us warm for a few hours.
00:08:57.660 --> 00:09:00.650
No, no, no, we're not spending the night here, so what's the second option?
00:09:00.650 --> 00:09:03.910
Which I am nicknaming little course of action.
00:09:03.910 --> 00:09:08.050
I rewire the secondary battery to the engine and hope it can start it.
00:09:08.050 --> 00:09:11.470
If it doesn't we're spending a very cold night with two dead batteries.
00:09:11.470 --> 00:09:13.130
Okay, let's switch the batteries then.
00:09:13.130 --> 00:09:13.910
Good democracy.
00:09:13.910 --> 00:09:16.670
Are we sure the secondary battery won't just die too?
00:09:16.670 --> 00:09:17.980
Ha. It's a possibility.
00:09:17.980 --> 00:09:19.400
It exists.
00:09:19.400 --> 00:09:20.480
But I'm pretty confident,
00:09:20.480 --> 00:09:23.660
because the secondary battery only powers the cabin.
00:09:23.660 --> 00:09:25.119
And we've kept the lights off and
00:09:25.119 --> 00:09:28.473
it goes without saying that we've all learned to stop charging our phones.
00:09:33.808 --> 00:09:35.642
Why you all looking at each other like that?
00:09:35.642 --> 00:09:38.140
And where are each of your phones now?
00:09:43.141 --> 00:09:46.045
You know, I'm starting to suspect the unthinkable.
00:09:46.045 --> 00:09:48.915
Namely, that in spite of all we've experienced,
00:09:48.915 --> 00:09:53.186
there's a cartoonish vampiric orgy of personal devices somewhere in the RV
00:09:53.186 --> 00:09:55.510
sucking away our remaining battery.
00:09:55.510 --> 00:10:00.236
I only draw limited comfort from the fact that nobody's running to unplug
00:10:00.236 --> 00:10:01.003
anything.
00:10:01.003 --> 00:10:03.295
You know what?
00:10:03.295 --> 00:10:05.170
Say nothing.
00:10:05.170 --> 00:10:09.634
I'll just, turn the light switch to the on position.
00:10:21.035 --> 00:10:25.762
There is a bright side to this.
00:10:25.762 --> 00:10:29.616
Most conventional weapons don't require electricity.
00:10:29.616 --> 00:10:33.250
Are you going to eat me first?
00:10:41.653 --> 00:10:42.391
Hear those crickets?
00:10:42.391 --> 00:10:49.278
This would be a challenging place to practice your stand-up act.
00:10:49.278 --> 00:10:51.345
So I rented Hotel Rwanda the other night.
00:10:51.345 --> 00:10:54.154
And let me just say, not a date movie.
00:10:54.154 --> 00:10:57.382
[CRICKETS].
00:10:57.382 --> 00:11:01.515
What would Arnold Schwarzenegger sound like if he was bit by Dracula?
00:11:04.371 --> 00:11:06.205
All in favor?
00:11:06.205 --> 00:11:08.690
Then that solves the matter of the giant hand.
00:11:08.690 --> 00:11:10.460
If there's no other business- If we're doing this I'd
00:11:10.460 --> 00:11:12.940
like to restate importance of telling some of this story with flashback.
00:11:12.940 --> 00:11:14.650
What do you mean by restate?
00:11:14.650 --> 00:11:16.180
Oh my god, I fell for it.
00:11:16.180 --> 00:11:16.680
Meeting adjourned.
00:11:19.998 --> 00:11:21.496
Why do we call them elbows?
00:11:21.496 --> 00:11:23.338
Why not arm knees?
00:11:23.338 --> 00:11:23.988
[CRICKETS].
00:11:23.988 --> 00:11:26.825
Man, I am dying up here.
00:11:28.264 --> 00:11:32.896
I'm scaling the blanket rations inversely to the wattage of each person's
00:11:32.896 --> 00:11:33.580
phone.
00:11:33.580 --> 00:11:36.829
That way the person who killed us the most will die the soonest,
00:11:36.829 --> 00:11:37.821
which feels fair.
00:11:37.821 --> 00:11:39.810
Right, Britta?
00:11:39.810 --> 00:11:45.774
I can't go all night being this angry.
00:11:45.774 --> 00:11:50.772
Heart attacks run in my family and you people aren't worth it.
00:11:50.772 --> 00:11:52.983
I'm sorry.
00:11:52.983 --> 00:11:53.878
It's okay.
00:11:53.878 --> 00:11:57.819
I caused the situation by not topping off the tank, and
00:11:57.819 --> 00:12:02.470
that vinyl accordion partition is a totem of distrust.
00:12:02.470 --> 00:12:03.755
Sorry for that, too.
00:12:03.755 --> 00:12:05.647
Elroy, that's big of you.
00:12:05.647 --> 00:12:08.839
And for our part, we're sorry that charging our perfectly normal
00:12:08.839 --> 00:12:11.184
cell phones destroyed your weirdly fragile RV.
00:12:11.184 --> 00:12:15.020
Okay, I'm sorry about that apology.
00:12:15.020 --> 00:12:16.347
I'll try to be a better house guest.
00:12:17.630 --> 00:12:19.685
Oh, no.
00:12:19.685 --> 00:12:21.171
Sorry I've been unavailable,
00:12:21.171 --> 00:12:23.434
I've been trying to cut to three weeks earlier.
00:12:23.434 --> 00:12:25.540
Really feels like we needed that.
00:12:25.540 --> 00:12:27.930
I have something to apologize for as well.
00:12:27.930 --> 00:12:30.966
Perhaps you recall earlier when it seemed as though we drove through
00:12:30.966 --> 00:12:31.667
a skunk patch.
00:12:31.667 --> 00:12:32.551
Yeah, you were getting high.
00:12:32.551 --> 00:12:33.474
Yeah, you were smoking pot.
00:12:33.474 --> 00:12:34.554
Yeah, getting high.
00:12:34.554 --> 00:12:35.423
You were getting stoned.
00:12:35.423 --> 00:12:38.983
Oh, okay, I remember thinking I really pulled that one off.
00:12:38.983 --> 00:12:40.970
You thought that because you were high.
00:12:40.970 --> 00:12:44.633
You also thought that we were speeding cuz you kept seeing the same bird.
00:12:51.162 --> 00:12:51.760
All in favor?
00:12:51.760 --> 00:12:55.170
Then that solves the matter of the giant hand.
00:12:55.170 --> 00:12:57.410
If there's no other business- Let me just explain the need for
00:12:57.410 --> 00:12:59.910
flashback here and don't interrupt- Okay, one quick thing and
00:12:59.910 --> 00:13:01.338
then you can talk about flashbacks forever.
00:13:01.338 --> 00:13:03.318
Meeting adjourned.
00:13:03.318 --> 00:13:04.330
Abed?
00:13:04.330 --> 00:13:05.630
When they cut to three weeks earlier on TV,
00:13:05.630 --> 00:13:08.210
they're not traveling in time, dip ass.
00:13:08.210 --> 00:13:09.120
Jeff.
00:13:09.120 --> 00:13:10.479
Okay, my apology now.
00:13:10.479 --> 00:13:13.968
I've had some time to think about it, and I've decided, I'm sorry for not
00:13:13.968 --> 00:13:17.365
asking people what they wanted before buying all the snacks for the trip.
00:13:17.365 --> 00:13:18.525
Wow, really?
00:13:18.525 --> 00:13:19.216
That's great.
00:13:19.216 --> 00:13:19.941
What?
00:13:19.941 --> 00:13:22.310
Think about it, it's the worst thing I've done on this trip.
00:13:22.310 --> 00:13:24.005
I've been nailing it.
00:13:24.005 --> 00:13:25.219
She has.
00:13:26.240 --> 00:13:28.490
You have, I haven't been.
00:13:28.490 --> 00:13:32.290
I shouldn't be yelling at the dean in front of any of you,
00:13:32.290 --> 00:13:33.864
it's unprofessional.
00:13:33.864 --> 00:13:34.910
You're all right Frankie.
00:13:34.910 --> 00:13:35.556
We got no complaints.
00:13:45.691 --> 00:13:48.001
I forgive all of you.
00:13:55.022 --> 00:13:55.522
What?
00:13:57.629 --> 00:13:59.068
Then that solves the matter of the giant hand.
00:13:59.068 --> 00:14:01.730
If there's no other business- In a normal road trip story the first act
00:14:01.730 --> 00:14:03.050
would end with us deciding to go on the trip.
00:14:03.050 --> 00:14:04.790
The second act would be the trip ending with a disaster, and
00:14:04.790 --> 00:14:05.960
the third act would be us getting back.
00:14:05.960 --> 00:14:08.284
The problem is that we've already decided to take this trip weeks from now,
00:14:08.284 --> 00:14:10.027
which means the story starts with us already on the road,
00:14:10.027 --> 00:14:11.841
which means the end of act one won't be us going on the trip,
00:14:11.841 --> 00:14:12.847
it'll have to be the disaster.
00:14:12.847 --> 00:14:14.943
Which means something even worse has to happen in act two.
00:14:14.943 --> 00:14:17.766
Unless we make the decision, right now, that act one is a flashback, so
00:14:17.766 --> 00:14:19.682
that the beginning story is now instead of then.
00:14:27.864 --> 00:14:28.966
You forgive us?
00:14:28.966 --> 00:14:31.130
Absolutely.
00:14:31.130 --> 00:14:33.090
You turd!
00:14:33.090 --> 00:14:34.149
I beg your pardon.
00:14:34.149 --> 00:14:34.678
Guys?
00:14:34.678 --> 00:14:36.018
You have no sense of accountability.
00:14:36.018 --> 00:14:37.110
You're like a child.
00:14:37.110 --> 00:14:39.880
If I'm a child, you're a child abuser.
00:14:39.880 --> 00:14:41.090
No, not cool, Annie.
00:14:41.090 --> 00:14:45.300
You never just said, leave my hand where it is, I like it there.
00:14:45.300 --> 00:14:46.770
I demand it stay.
00:14:46.770 --> 00:14:48.280
Because everyone complained about it.
00:14:48.280 --> 00:14:51.370
Well, where's that commitment to spinelessness when we're all admitting we
00:14:51.370 --> 00:14:52.060
did stuff wrong?
00:14:52.060 --> 00:14:53.160
Okay, I'm sorry.
00:14:53.160 --> 00:14:53.753
I'm sorry.
00:14:53.753 --> 00:14:55.260
I'm a bad dean, okay?
00:14:55.260 --> 00:14:56.211
No, that's what you always do.
00:14:56.211 --> 00:14:57.352
That's not a real apology.
00:14:57.352 --> 00:14:58.470
Jeff? Abed, shut up.
00:14:58.470 --> 00:15:00.503
Go flashback and cut to stuff.
00:15:00.503 --> 00:15:03.527
And you, say you're sorry for buying a giant hand and letting it sit around
00:15:03.527 --> 00:15:05.795
until we had to deal with it, and say it without crying.
00:15:05.795 --> 00:15:06.420
No!
00:15:06.420 --> 00:15:07.305
I'm an adult.
00:15:07.305 --> 00:15:09.961
[CRYING] And you can't make me not cry.
00:15:09.961 --> 00:15:13.510
You're all a bunch of bullies, and I will say, I'm sorry, however I want.
00:15:13.510 --> 00:15:16.370
And by the way, I'm not sorry!
00:15:16.370 --> 00:15:19.620
It's my giant hand and I love it.
00:15:19.620 --> 00:15:20.120
We're not selling it.
00:15:21.895 --> 00:15:23.369
Okay, this is like crate training a puppy.
00:15:23.369 --> 00:15:26.286
Everyone suppress every instinct you have to let him out and
00:15:26.286 --> 00:15:27.344
sleep in bed with us.
00:15:27.344 --> 00:15:28.610
Cold.
00:15:28.610 --> 00:15:30.949
No, I mean, it's cold in the RV.
00:15:30.949 --> 00:15:32.231
I don't care how we treat the dean tonight.
00:15:32.231 --> 00:15:36.173
Abed, don't go out.
00:15:45.159 --> 00:15:46.836
Did they send you out here to be mean to me too?
00:15:46.836 --> 00:15:50.650
No.
00:15:50.650 --> 00:15:51.241
Good.
00:15:51.241 --> 00:15:53.935
Because I can't cry anymore unless someone brings me a Pedialyte.
00:16:07.680 --> 00:16:09.027
Here.
00:16:17.177 --> 00:16:18.524
Pretty comforting, huh?
00:16:18.524 --> 00:16:22.008
We could've put it outside the Art Department, or Biology, or
00:16:22.008 --> 00:16:24.640
wood working if we remove one of the fingers.
00:16:24.640 --> 00:16:25.450
You don't belong up here.
00:16:25.450 --> 00:16:27.510
It's not right that you're up here.
00:16:27.510 --> 00:16:28.720
You get it, don't you, Abed?
00:16:30.230 --> 00:16:31.640
You know what's important about the hand?
00:16:31.640 --> 00:16:33.380
No, I know what's important about the story, and
00:16:33.380 --> 00:16:35.120
I know we're structurally overdue for a disaster.
00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:35.620
Oh, great.
00:16:36.940 --> 00:16:40.837
Figures the one person on my side, is the one playing people chess.
00:16:40.837 --> 00:16:43.696
Aah! Don't move, don't move!
00:16:43.696 --> 00:16:45.280
What the hell else are we supposed to do?
00:16:45.280 --> 00:16:46.500
Flashback with me.
00:16:46.500 --> 00:16:47.220
What? Just trust me.
00:16:47.220 --> 00:16:48.740
I set a flashback three weeks earlier.
00:16:48.740 --> 00:16:50.180
It's how this story begins.
00:16:50.180 --> 00:16:50.781
Close your eyes and concentrate.
00:16:53.283 --> 00:16:58.281
And that solves the matter of the giant hand.
00:16:58.281 --> 00:16:59.810
If there's no other business.
00:16:59.810 --> 00:17:00.590
Oh, there's business.
00:17:00.590 --> 00:17:01.670
Yeah, there's business.
00:17:01.670 --> 00:17:04.960
When you tie the hand to the roof we'd like you to use extra thick straps
00:17:04.960 --> 00:17:05.500
please.
00:17:05.500 --> 00:17:06.580
Extra thick.
00:17:06.580 --> 00:17:07.550
Extra thick straps!
00:17:07.550 --> 00:17:08.280
Reinforced.
00:17:08.280 --> 00:17:09.337
All right. Meeting adjourned, great.
00:17:12.105 --> 00:17:14.340
Extra thick straps!
00:17:14.340 --> 00:17:16.250
Extra think straps.
00:17:16.250 --> 00:17:18.190
Extra thick straps.
00:17:18.190 --> 00:17:19.039
Extra thick straps.
00:17:19.039 --> 00:17:20.513
There, that should do it.
00:17:20.513 --> 00:17:21.883
Wha, wha, what should do it?
00:17:21.883 --> 00:17:23.068
We made the straps extra thick.
00:17:23.068 --> 00:17:25.286
Remember? No, I don't remember because it didn't happen.
00:17:25.286 --> 00:17:26.266
It didn't?
00:17:26.266 --> 00:17:29.232
Aah!
00:17:29.232 --> 00:17:30.229
What?
00:17:30.229 --> 00:17:33.423
Did something just fall off the roof?
00:17:33.423 --> 00:17:35.571
That's a really stupid question, Annie.
00:17:35.571 --> 00:17:37.530
Obviously something fell off the roof.
00:17:37.530 --> 00:17:39.003
The question is what?
00:17:46.990 --> 00:17:48.117
Abed, where's the dean?
00:17:48.117 --> 00:17:51.210
Oh, damn, come on.
00:17:53.196 --> 00:17:55.860
Okay, one, two, three.
00:17:55.860 --> 00:17:56.890
Carefully, carefully.
00:17:56.890 --> 00:18:00.670
How do you lose a hand off a person haphazardly?
00:18:00.670 --> 00:18:02.395
You know what, Annie- Aah!
00:18:02.395 --> 00:18:03.372
Dean, hang on.
00:18:03.372 --> 00:18:05.091
Dean, we're so sorry, we love you.
00:18:06.658 --> 00:18:09.410
Screw you!
00:18:09.410 --> 00:18:10.059
Aah!
00:18:10.059 --> 00:18:11.127
What?
00:18:11.127 --> 00:18:11.737
Hey, that's my house.
00:18:11.737 --> 00:18:14.400
We are not sorry, we hate you!
00:18:14.400 --> 00:18:15.950
Are we gonna freeze to death?
00:18:15.950 --> 00:18:16.650
I call the hand.
00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:21.150
The fiberglass will preserve body heat.
00:18:21.150 --> 00:18:26.169
What's wrong with me if that's hot?
00:18:30.551 --> 00:18:33.817
Dean these temperatures are lowering our immune systems in a world that is
00:18:33.817 --> 00:18:36.358
swarming with weird people's unvaccinated toddlers.
00:18:36.358 --> 00:18:38.658
Deal with it.
00:18:38.658 --> 00:18:41.740
I'm gonna go run to the other side and see if he's locked that door too.
00:18:41.740 --> 00:18:44.630
It probably undercuts my goals to announce it out loud but
00:18:44.630 --> 00:18:47.590
I'm a verbal thinker, I'm not even sure I have an idea until I say it.
00:18:50.670 --> 00:18:53.009
They should make hiking boots with a compass in the toe.
00:18:53.009 --> 00:18:54.448
Go!
00:18:54.448 --> 00:18:55.708
But don't you.
00:18:55.708 --> 00:18:58.865
Dean, we're sorry and we love you?
00:18:58.865 --> 00:19:02.500
Nice uncontrollable question mark, Britta!
00:19:02.500 --> 00:19:04.110
You can't even fake it!
00:19:04.110 --> 00:19:06.990
Dean, we're sorry and we love you.
00:19:06.990 --> 00:19:11.060
Super realistic, Annie, you're a real sociopath.
00:19:11.060 --> 00:19:14.080
I saw all your true colors when the chips were down.
00:19:14.080 --> 00:19:15.810
Abed is the only human among you!
00:19:15.810 --> 00:19:18.620
And I think we all know how ironic that is, no offense, Abed.
00:19:18.620 --> 00:19:19.670
None possible.
00:19:19.670 --> 00:19:22.300
Abed, you bonded with him.
00:19:22.300 --> 00:19:23.240
Talk to him.
00:19:23.240 --> 00:19:24.330
You're alone in the end zone.
00:19:24.330 --> 00:19:26.570
This ball is yours or nobody's.
00:19:26.570 --> 00:19:29.620
I appreciate your appeal to my well know passion for athletics, and
00:19:29.620 --> 00:19:31.400
sarcasm, but I didn't actually bond with him.
00:19:31.400 --> 00:19:32.340
I almost killed him.
00:19:32.340 --> 00:19:35.270
My naive obsession with contrived flashback technique has kept me
00:19:35.270 --> 00:19:37.070
from being invested in any of this actual story.
00:19:37.070 --> 00:19:38.800
I mean, what was it even?
00:19:38.800 --> 00:19:41.097
A bunch of people in an RV? And I had to Christopher Nolan it?
00:19:41.097 --> 00:19:42.136
Well, there you go.
00:19:42.136 --> 00:19:46.350
Now you can forget all about stupid three weeks earlier flashbacks and
00:19:46.350 --> 00:19:49.208
be a hero by joining us here, in the moment, and
00:19:49.208 --> 00:19:51.222
talking to the dean like a human.
00:19:51.222 --> 00:19:53.030
That's my arc.
00:19:53.030 --> 00:19:55.545
That's your arc.
00:19:55.545 --> 00:19:59.211
Okay, here we go.
00:20:00.378 --> 00:20:01.550
If there's no other business.
00:20:01.550 --> 00:20:04.045
I'd like to propose a heavy use of flashback in this episode.
00:20:04.045 --> 00:20:05.040
No Abed, don't do it.
00:20:05.040 --> 00:20:05.720
Thanks Abed.
00:20:07.040 --> 00:20:07.820
Stop that.
00:20:07.820 --> 00:20:08.800
Get your head our of your ass.
00:20:08.800 --> 00:20:10.080
I don't know how. I'm over saturated with it.
00:20:10.080 --> 00:20:11.410
Give me, I, I, I don't know what's real.
00:20:11.410 --> 00:20:12.200
You are lying.
00:20:12.200 --> 00:20:13.160
You have to be lying.
00:20:13.160 --> 00:20:14.360
You enjoy this.
00:20:14.360 --> 00:20:14.960
Stop this.
00:20:14.960 --> 00:20:16.410
What has gotten into you?
00:20:16.410 --> 00:20:17.882
Why are you shocked that he's alienated?
00:20:17.882 --> 00:20:20.259
You get him to do something normal without abusing him.
00:20:20.259 --> 00:20:21.864
Abed, listen.
00:20:21.864 --> 00:20:23.977
This is a flashback remember.
00:20:23.977 --> 00:20:26.578
The real story is happening in the future.
00:20:26.578 --> 00:20:30.033
You actually flashed back to now to help us.
00:20:30.033 --> 00:20:32.246
Okay, that was pretty good.
00:20:38.199 --> 00:20:41.210
So sad what happened here, all those centons ago.
00:20:42.530 --> 00:20:43.720
So sad.
00:20:43.720 --> 00:20:44.580
So preventable.
00:20:44.580 --> 00:20:47.360
Space Elder Abed, can you reach backward with your mind and
00:20:47.360 --> 00:20:49.050
save our species?
00:20:49.050 --> 00:20:51.935
I can. I'm Space Elder Britta.
00:20:58.599 --> 00:20:59.900
What are you guys talkin about?
00:21:08.230 --> 00:21:08.900
I'm here now, child.
00:21:08.900 --> 00:21:10.780
All will be made right.
00:21:13.810 --> 00:21:14.770
Dean.
00:21:14.770 --> 00:21:15.510
Abed.
00:21:15.510 --> 00:21:17.420
I have discovered the meaning of the giant hand.
00:21:19.140 --> 00:21:21.289
A hand has two functions, to grip and to release.
00:21:22.610 --> 00:21:24.940
But without both of these powers, it is useless.
00:21:26.230 --> 00:21:30.350
Like newborn infants, we grab what comes near us, hoping to control it,
00:21:30.350 --> 00:21:32.660
taste it, jam it into another child's eye.
00:21:32.660 --> 00:21:36.420
But, the time we spend in control of our world,
00:21:37.970 --> 00:21:40.650
is the time we spend letting go of others.
00:21:40.650 --> 00:21:44.840
Ideas, stories, pride, girls in soft sweaters, video games,
00:21:44.840 --> 00:21:48.100
buttered noodles, grip one for too long and you lose so
00:21:48.100 --> 00:21:53.630
much that you've never held.
00:21:53.630 --> 00:21:57.480
This giant hand, was sent to all of us as an invitation.
00:21:57.480 --> 00:21:59.540
To increase our mastery over the power to hold on.
00:22:02.070 --> 00:22:02.570
And let go.
00:22:08.891 --> 00:22:11.938
Sorry.
00:22:15.488 --> 00:22:16.575
Dummy.
00:22:16.575 --> 00:22:17.286
I kinda hate you.
00:22:28.745 --> 00:22:30.470
The doors are locked on that side, too.
00:22:32.130 --> 00:22:32.701
Took you long enough.
00:22:32.701 --> 00:22:35.282
I'd be lying if I said I didn't poop.
00:22:35.282 --> 00:22:38.419
Could you lie then?
00:22:38.419 --> 00:22:40.300
Sure I can.
00:22:40.300 --> 00:22:41.345
Sure I can.
00:22:44.689 --> 00:22:45.432
I slapped a man.
00:23:13.814 --> 00:23:19.317
Hi, this is Blake, the gentleman to whom you're selling the giant hand.
00:23:19.317 --> 00:23:22.727
I am calling to confirm that you have the correct address?
00:23:23.997 --> 00:23:27.457
We live at the end of a long driveway which often gets
00:23:27.457 --> 00:23:30.460
confused with a road.
00:23:30.460 --> 00:23:35.280
Anyway, it's been many hours since our scheduled appointment time.
00:23:35.280 --> 00:23:39.856
Again, it's Blake with a B, the purchaser of the giant hand.
00:23:39.856 --> 00:23:41.643
Bye.
00:23:44.458 --> 00:23:50.651
They're not
00:23:50.651 --> 00:24:00.226
coming, are they?
00:24:00.226 --> 00:24:01.037
I don't know, Karen.
00:24:01.037 --> 00:24:01.830
I left a message.
00:24:01.830 --> 00:24:04.130
What are you gonna do with?
00:24:04.130 --> 00:24:06.930
What am I gonna do with the giant watch?
00:24:06.930 --> 00:24:07.850
I don't know.
00:24:07.850 --> 00:24:09.990
I, I don't plan for failure.
00:24:09.990 --> 00:24:11.370
Have you tried planning for success?
00:24:11.370 --> 00:24:14.190
Does everything you do to this family have.
00:24:15.770 --> 00:24:16.830
No.
00:24:16.830 --> 00:24:18.390
Finish your thought.
00:24:18.390 --> 00:24:19.600
Finish your thought.
00:24:19.600 --> 00:24:22.610
Does everything have to do with me,
00:24:22.610 --> 00:24:25.760
purchasing oversize items on the Internet.
00:24:25.760 --> 00:24:27.710
But, that's not what this is really about, is it?
00:24:27.710 --> 00:24:30.250
It's not about a giant hand, or a giant watch.
00:24:30.250 --> 00:24:31.080
Please don't.
00:24:31.080 --> 00:24:34.850
It's about a normal sized son.
00:24:34.850 --> 00:24:41.362
Who disappeared and it's all my fault, because I gave him a giant kite!
00:24:42.378 --> 00:24:46.600
Yes, how could you not make that connection?
00:24:46.600 --> 00:24:50.900
Why do you continue to buy giant size versions of everyday objects,
00:24:50.900 --> 00:24:54.420
when they are the reason our son is- Disappeared!
00:24:54.420 --> 00:24:55.410
Disappeared.
00:24:55.410 --> 00:24:57.440
They never found his body on the ground,
00:24:57.440 --> 00:24:59.340
which proves he's still up there waiting.
00:24:59.340 --> 00:25:03.556
He's waiting for a better daddy, with a bigger hand.
00:25:07.416 --> 00:25:11.257
Oh, really?
00:25:11.257 --> 00:25:14.486
So then why the watch?
00:25:14.486 --> 00:25:16.641
I thought it would look really cool.
00:25:16.641 --> 00:25:21.253
I'm gonna walk the dog, and eventually leave you.
00:25:21.253 --> 00:25:25.536
I'll put the watch in the garage.
00:25:25.536 --> 00:25:28.586
And probably stop showering.
00:25:29.600 --> 00:25:33.600
Synced and uploaded by streetsahead
12.05.2015
00:26:02.984 --> 00:26:05.035
Did you get any of that?
00:26:09.546 --> 00:26:10.046
Yahoo!
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net